Value of Wrinkles: Caregiving, Aging & Intergenerational Connection

Recently I implmenented the GKI Kit at an assisted living. It was exciting, but don't et me wrong, I had fears! Would kids want to hang out with residents? Would these residents be alert and willing to converse?  Will the connection happen? Will the kids complain and be bored? Will that hour be forever? In this episode I discuss the fears that I had in implementing an intergenerational program.   “With great risk comes great reward – Thomas Jefferson   🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking

This episode is designed for senior living and senior care organizations looking to create meaningful intergenerational programs. How can you keep both kids and older adults safe, engaged, and connected during activities in assisted living or long-term care? Isabel shares six practical tips for scheduling and managing intergenerational programming so it benefits children, parents, and residents alike. You’ll also hear how she is currently implementing her Grandkid Investigator concept in assisted living and long-term care communities to strengthen connections across generations.   Highlights: 3:08 - The best time to schedule intergenerational programming in senior living 4:39 – Statistics to look at if you live in the state of Maryland 5:25 – Why the Grandkid Investigator program was implemented this August 8:28 – How supervision makes for a better program 10:29 – Tip #3 (structure and routine) and how it minimizes chaos   Links mentioned: Look at flu levels right now in the U.S. https://www.cdc.gov/fluview/surveillance/usmap.html Look at MD Dept of Health website for statistics on flu activity. https://health.maryland.gov/phpa/influenza/pages/flu-dashboard.aspx If you want to bring the Grandkid Investigator program to your senior living community or have a group that would like to use this concept, contact Isabel at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/contact   Learn about using the Grandkid Investigator Concept in your own family at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam. 🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking

Why don’t kids visit senior living communities more often? In this thought-provoking episode, we dive into a surprising truth: many senior care communities are hesitant to welcome children—despite the well-known benefits of intergenerational connection. As a mom, aunt, coach, and longtime advocate for bridging generations, I share insights from my experience working with assisted living and nursing homes across the U.S. and Canada. Does it make sense or does it surprise you? This isn’t about criticism—it’s about understanding the barriers that make child-friendly senior communities so rare. From health concerns and liability issues to simple logistical challenges, we explore why these environments aren’t always eager to bring kids into the mix. But here's the good news: once we understand the "why," we can begin building the "how."   Highlights ·       Why kids are seen as unpredictable, unhygienic, or even a liability ·       Why programs like Pets on Wheels treat youth with caution ·       How our perceptions of children intersect with long-term care priorities ·       A behind-the-scenes update on the Grandkid Investigator (GKI) Program Exciting news: GKI is expanding into assisted living and skilled nursing settings this year! With over 32,000 assisted living facilities and 15,000 nursing homes in the U.S., and 11,000+ in Canada, the opportunity for meaningful intergenerational connection is massive—but untapped.   Links mentioned: If you want more info on volunteering and having your child/teen participate in the GKI program at local senior living communities, contact me at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/contact. Learn about using the Grandkid Investigator Concept in your own family at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam. Social media is fun, but my email newsletter is better. Sign up for my email newsletter at  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup.   🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking

While my daughter’s away at summer camp and my husband’s camping with our boys, you’d think I’d be enjoying some rare alone time—but honestly, I just want to hear from them. In this episode, I reflect on how something as simple as a letter or a quick update can mean everything—whether you’re a kid at camp or a parent later in life. I also share a fun camp letter-writing hack and my second chance with this sourdough starter that I got from an older friend. This one’s all about staying connected, being remembered, and why little updates matter so much—especially as we age. Highlights: Alone time as a mom Hearing from your kids at camp That second-chance at keeping a sourdough starter alive! Resources mentioned: Episode 86 https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/blog/How-Different-Experiences-Build-Stronger-Grandkid-Grandparents Social media is fun, but my email newsletter is better. Sign up for my email newsletter at  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup.   🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking    

Today we're talking about how shared experiences like family vacations can be beneficial because they allow us to spend time with family in different settings.  Highlights: If you want to speed up the bond between the grandkids and the grandparents spend time together in different scenarios. How spending time together in general helps us bond with others. Our family’s first cruise and how we spent it with grandma Our kids’ first plane ride and how we experienced it with grandma How shared experiences help us view others in a better light Missions trips, roomates, sports teams Resources mentioned: Study on how shared experiences are amplified - https://clarkrelationshiplab.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/BoothbyClarkBargh(1).pdf Grab a resource to help kids connect with grandparents – The Grandkid Investigator Kit, https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam   🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking   Resources mentioned:  

You’ve heard my stories about our grandparents—now it’s time to hear from my cousin Jeremy! He grew up in Canada and didn’t see them as often, but his memories of Mama and Yeye (or Poh Poh and Goong Goong to him) are just as special. It’s a sweet reminder that even if you live far from your grandparents, you can still have a meaningful connection.   FREE MISSION:  Grab a free mission from the Grandkid Investigator Kit at valueofwrinkles.com/freemission! Check out the Grandkid Investigator Kit: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam   🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking    

How do you explain autism or ADHD to a grandparent who just doesn’t get it yet? In this episode, Isabel Tom sits down with Kim Botto—a seasoned educator, speaker, and grandmother of eleven—to talk about how to help older generations understand neurodivergence in kids. This is part 2 of our conversation.  With decades of experience in trauma-informed care and family ministry, Kim shares practical tips, heartfelt stories, and gentle language that grandparents can use to better connect with their neurodivergent grandkids. You’ll hear about her personal journey connecting with her autistic grandson, why ADHD is like having a race car brain with bicycle brakes (thanks to Dr. Ned Hallowell!), and how a shift in communication can make all the difference. Whether you're a parent trying to bridge the generational gap or a grandparent wanting to better support your grandchild, this episode offers encouragement, insight, and useful tools. Last week's episode - https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/blog/Helping-Neurodivergent-Kids-Connect-with-Grandparents-Part-1-with-Kim-Botto  Highlights 3:45 - How to explain autism to a grandparent 5:22 - How to explain ADHD to grandparents 8:16 - Tips for grandparents/parents of autistic children  11:12 - The vitamin Dr. Edward Hallowell says is so valuable 13:32 - Kim Botto and how she learned to connect with her austitic grandson  17:52 - When you as a parent feel judged by bystanders, but also grandparents   Get Kim Botto’s Book: Boundless Hope for Every Child – written for church leaders, but loved by parents and grandparents alike → kimbotto.com   Resources mentioned: Grab the Grandkid Investigator Kit at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant Autism Out Loud When Johnny Doesn’t Flap (picture book) ADHD 2.0 and Driven to Distraction by Dr. Edward Hallowell   🎧 Show Notes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking

Do you have a child with autism, ADHD, or sensory needs—and wonder how to help them build a real connection with their grandparents? In this powerful episode of The Value of Wrinkles, host Isabel Tom shares her personal journey of discovering ADHD as an adult and parenting children who are wired differently. She’s joined by Kim Botto, a trauma-informed parenting expert and TBRI Practitioner®, to talk about how families can support neurodivergent children in forming meaningful, joy-filled relationships with their grandparents. 🎙️ You’ll hear: ·       Why differently wired kids often struggle in social/family situations ·       How to gently guide your child through interactions with older adults ·       Why neurodiverse-friendly tools (like the Grandkid Investigator Kit) can ease connection ·       Encouragement for parents who feel isolated or exhausted This episode is for you if you're raising a uniquely wired child and long to see them known, understood, and loved by the older generation. Highlights: 3:50 – How Kim got started working with kids with hidden disabilities 6:17 -What is a hidden disability? 8:28 – What to do when grandparents don’t believe the autism/adhd diagnosis? 12:27- How so many of their interactions are negative and the role of grandparnets.   Connect with Kim Botto: Read Kim Botto’s Book: Boundless Hope for Every Child – written for church leaders, but loved by parents and grandparents alike → kimbotto.com   Resources mentioned: ·      “You can’t teach children to behave better by making them feel worse. When children feel better, they behave better.” – Pam Leo, Connection Parenting, https://connectionparenting.com/ ·      Use the Grandkid Investigator missions as a tool to help and guide your child through interaction with grandparents. 🎧 Show Notes: 👉 Listen to more episodes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking

Listen to a yahoo moment from doing the Grandkid Investigator Kit with my son. In this episode I share how my son learned about his grandma’s routine and helped me know how to plan his grandma’s next birthday celebration. Highlights: 3:35 - What happens when we teach our kids to ask questions 4:09 - The importance of helping our kids have conversation with grandparents 5:05 – What my son told me that will help us celebrate his grandma’s birthday better! 5:56 – How we typically celebrate birthdays for older people "When you ask them, you honor them." Links mentioned: Get a tool to help kids connect with their grandparents by grabbing the Grandkid Investigator Digital Kit – https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam Get the Grandkid Investigator Physical Box (available until June 23rd, 2025) - https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gki   🎧 Show Notes: 👉 Listen to more episodes: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen 📸 Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ 📖 Read The Value of Wrinkles: https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 📬 Join the email list: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup 🎤 Invite Isabel to speak: https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking

Have you ever heard of the “daughter penalty”? Maybe not by name, but I bet you’ve felt it. It’s also called the caregiving penalty, and it’s the cost—financial, emotional, and mental—that often comes when daughters step up to care for their aging parents. So, whether you’re a daughter doing it all, a son who wants to understand better, or someone who just loves someone in this season—this episode is for you.   Highlights: 3:22 – Why people want daughters and the belief that daughters are viewed as better caregivers. 5:05 – Brothers and spouses and how they may step back from the responsibilities of caring for their aging parents. 7:07 – How being the youngest in the family can be similar to how a brother/husband steps back from responsibility 8:11 – One thing we can do to help daughters/sisters/wives 9:20 – How caregiving affects a daughter’s emotional and mental wellbeing.   Links mentioned: Get the Grandkid Investigator Kit at https//www.valueofwrinkles.com/gki   Shownotes available at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen Connect: Get a free mission from the Grandkid Investigator Kit -  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission Connect on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ Read the Value of Wrinkles - https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 Join my email list - https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup invite Isabel to your next event https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking  

When is the best time for YOU to schedule a visit with the grandparents or your aging parents? Today’s episode focuses on being intentional in terms of when you choose to spend time with the elders in your life. We want our visits with the grandparents/parents to be meaningful, beneficial, happy and life-giving, but in order for that to happen it’s possible that we need to consider the timing of when we visit. Dig into that with me today on The Value of Wrinkles podcast where we talk about caregiving, aging, and intergenerational connection:   HIGHLIGHTS:                The time of the year               The time of the month (ladies, that’s you!)               Your energy levels.               Your work schedule    Have you put thought into when you schedule a visit with the grandparents? Yes, you’re probably considering a time that’s good for them, but have you been intentional and thoughtful about finding a time that’s good for you? In order to have a happier, more meaningful, less conflict-filled visit, maybe it’s time to consider a few of the things that I talk about in today’s episode. Get the Grandkid Investigator Kit at https//www.valueofwrinkles.com/gki   Shownotes available at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/listen Connect: Get a free mission from the Grandkid Investigator Kit -  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission Connect on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ Read the Value of Wrinkles - https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 Join my email list - https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup invite Isabel to your next event [https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking]

In this episode, I delve into the experiences three kids have had using Grandkid Investigator Kit (GKI) mission. What have kids learend about their grandparents? Through engaging missions, kids uncover fun facts and stories about their grandparents to foster STRONGER bonds with grandparents. Here's a way that parents/grandparents can create memories and stronger bonds in a very simple and easy way! Highlights Three missions and three things kids learned about grandparents and a grant aunt! Operation IT, Operation Marshmallow, and Operation Make-a-Map The GKI Kit is NOW AVAILABLE for the summer and can be sent to you front door (one month only): Visit https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gki to grab a box while supplies last!   🛒 Purchase the Grandkid Investigator Kit for the summer! Make your family's summer meaningful with the Grandkid Investigator Kit. Available for a limited time until June 23rd. Both digital and physical kits are offered, but supplies are limited.  CONNECT Get a free mission from the Grandkid Investigator Kit -  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission Connect on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ Read the Value of Wrinkles - https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 Join my email list - https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup invite Isabel to your next event [https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking]

Are you afraid to say how old are you now? Here are some tips that I’m preaching to myself to we can celebrate our next birthday!   Highlights: 1:02 – The Own Your Age Photobooth 3:30 – Instead of dreading my birthday, I’m going to be a life giver. 4:48 – Asian Grandmas and how they’re different 5:58 – Let your age be your battle scar 8:03 – Replace “aging” with “living”. 10:19 – 2 Cor 4:16   Therefore we do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.". Links mentioned:  Art Against Ageism Episode 4: My Next Birthday  Episode 3: Linda, 30s, Asian Grandmas 2 Corinthians 4:16   Connect with Isabel Get a free mission from the Grandkid Investigator Kit -  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission Connect on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/isabelctom/ Read the Value of Wrinkles - https://www.amazon.com/Value-Wrinkles-Perspective-Loving-Change/dp/0802419534 Join my email list - https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup invite Isabel to your next event [https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking]  

Isn’t it interesting that at different times in their lives, moms would want different types of gifts? In this episode, I thought it would be fun to chat about what young moms want and what older moms want for Mother’s Day. What Young Moms Want vs. What Older Moms Want   📩 Connect with me at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/signup and tell me what you think about this episode!  Grab the Grandkid Investigator Kit https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gki 📸 Instagram: @isabelctom

Your parents or in-laws just aren’t kid people. They’re not friendly. They’re not engaging and they don’t know how to interact with the grandkids. We do want our kids to know their grandparents, but because the grandparents aren’t kid people, we get frustrated. In this episode, I want to help you work through this issue!   HIGHLIGHTS 2:08 – They want to engage but, they feel inadequate in connecting with the grandkids. 3:49 – Are they just not relational? 4:40 – Asian Americans culture and relationship building 5:27 – How can parents give guidance?     The Grandkid Investigator Kit is a tool that I created to make intergenerational connection easy, meaningful and fun. 📩 Grab the Grandkid Investigator Digital Kit https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam Get a FREE grandkid investigator missions at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission Book signings and speaking:  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/speaking 📸 Instagram: @isabelctom

Do you remember a time when we couldn’t see our families in person? Do you remember when families had to visit with their elders with a window of glass in between? The next time you get together with your family, here are some important reminders:   Reminders the next time you're tired of meeting together.  Grandparents don’t live forever. It’s a gift to get to be with your loved ones in person. Question to ask ourselves:  -              How many birthdays do you have left with the grandparents? -              How many holidays do you have left with the grandparents? -              How many summers do you have left with the grandparents?   Use the time you have left and cherish it. It will result in memories that you will cherish forever. Our older loved ones are at the end of their lives, but we’ve got to make the most of the time we have together. The Grandkid Investigator Kit is a tool that I created to be intentional with the time you have left with your grandparents. 📩 Grab the Grandkid Investigator Kit at  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/gkifam 📸 Instagram: @isabelctom

If you're considering a career serving older adults, this episode is for you! Whether you're fresh out of school or seeking a second career, you'll get practical next steps to break into the field. Learn how to find a mentor, volunteer, start with part-time roles, and network with professionals. Plus, get tips on effective job searching in aging services. Tune in for actionable insights that can help you take the next step toward a meaningful career working with seniors. Highlights: 3:35 – Search for a mentor 5:50 – Volunteer  7:31 – Shadow someone who works in the field  10:05 – Tips for searching for jobs in the aging serivces field  19:00 - Ask more questions  This podcast series is sponsored by Dignity Memorial Plan ahead with Dignity Memorial and secure peace of mind for you and your loved ones with our compassionate funeral and cemetery pre-planning services. Call Dignity Memorial today at 240-463-6884 to start your personalized plan with a caring expert. 📩 Grab a FREE Grandkid Investigator Mission at  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission 📸 Instagram: @isabelctom  

In this episode, I chat with Becky Donahue, a social worker at WinterGrowth, a medical adult day program. When I first considered working with older adults, I thought being a nurse was the only way to help, but after meeting Bob Van Dyk, I discovered many other paths in senior care. Becky shares her journey into the field, what it’s like to work in a medical adult day care setting, and how she helps families as a social worker. We dive into the key qualities needed to work in this field, tips for those new to working with dementia, and what it's like to support people with cognitive impairments. If you're interested in exploring alternative careers in senior care or want to learn more about dementia care, this episode is full of insights and advice. Highlights: 4:00 – What is adult medical day care? 6:38 – How Becky got her start in the medical day care field 9:57 – Her first full-time role as Social Services Coordinator and what she did 10:31 – How Becky helped families as a social worker 15:50 – Key qualities for someone looking to work in this field 18:14 – Something Becky wishes people knew about her work 19:39 – Tips for those new to working with people with dementia Resources mentioned: Van Dyk Healthcare - https://www.vandykhealthcare.com/ Winter Growth - https://www.wintergrowthinc.org/ This podcast series is sponsored by Dignity Memorial Plan ahead with Dignity Memorial and secure peace of mind for you and your loved ones with our compassionate funeral and cemetery pre-planning services. Call Dignity Memorial today at 240-463-6884 to start your personalized plan with a caring expert.   📩 Grab a FREE Grandkid Investigator Mission at  https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/freemission 📸 Instagram: @isabelctom

This is the 2nd episode in our Careers in Aging Series. In today’s episode we are going behind the scenes with Jamie Arthur. I ask him what he tells people when they ask him what he does. We find the typical hours of someone who works in this field, how he got into this field and more. Whether you’re a young professional who’s exploring possible career paths OR you’re just curious and want to listen in on this unique convo, I think you’ll learn new things today and be pleasantly surprised by this discussion.  Highlights: 3:05 – What does he tell people when they ask him what he does? 8:43 – How do you get into this field? 12:00 – how many labor hours go into a funeral service 15:35 – What Jamie’s funeral will be like (the music, the type of clothing he’s okay with, the type what he wants displayed) 16:52 – What are some of the top qualities that would make someone a good morticians. 18:43 – Why people want to be a mortician   Resource mentioned:      Grab $30 off my Prepare to Care digital course at https://www.valueofwrinkles.com/preptocare by using the code “CAREWELL”   This podcast series is sponsored by Dignity Memorial Plan ahead with Dignity Memorial and secure peace of mind for you and your loved ones with our compassionate funeral and cemetery pre-planning services. Call Dignity Memorial today at 240-463-6884 to start your personalized plan with a caring expert.   📩 Website: valueofwrinkles.com/contact  📸 Instagram: @isabelctom  

This is the first episode in our Careers in Aging Series. Today I'm sharing with you 5 things I learned from working in the senior care field. They might surprise you!  5 Things I Learned: You get to help people, but they help you too! There’s job security The people in the senior care field are GOOD company! You will grieve the decline/death of older people you serve.  Serving people at the end of their livse is sacred work.   Resource mentioned: Article by Jenna Kellerman - https://leadingage.org/careers-in-aging-month-an-opportunity-to-reflect-and-share/ Argentum Workforce Project Report - https://www.argentum.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/2023-Workforce-Projections-Final.pdf This podcast series is sponsored by Dignity Memorial Plan ahead with Dignity Memorial and secure peace of mind for you and your loved ones with our compassionate funeral and cemetery pre-planning services. Call Dignity Memorial today at 240-463-6884 to start your personalized plan with a caring expert.   🔗 Listen now and connect with me: 📩 Website: valueofwrinkles.com/contact  📸 Instagram: @isabelctom Grab a FREE mission from the Grandkid Investigator Kit at valueofwrinkles.com/freemission