Too Into You

TW: Episode mentions domestic violence, intimate relationship abuse, and coercive control. For this episode, Madeline and Mary are joined by Juliana Shiel. Juliana is an artist and beauty influencer with a following of over 300k people. When Juliana was 19, she was in an abusive relationship. Since then, she has become a Too Into You Ambassador, spending the last 5 years raising awareness of abuse in young relationships and the supports available at toointoyou.ie.   We chat with Juliana about: Why she didn’t think her ex was abusing her How her ex made her feel trapped and isolated Why she wants to change people’s understanding of the ‘perfect victim’ What she wants other victims of abuse to know Follow Juliana on socials: Instagram: @juliana_shiel TikTok: @julianashiel If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship you can: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. You can take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Please follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram to support the Too Into You campaign. If you enjoyed the episode please rate us 5 stars and leave us a comment, it makes our day!   The Too Into You Podcast is hosted by Mary Hayes, Too Into You Project Coordinator, and Madeline Campbell, Too Into You Project Officer.   About Too Into You: Too Into You a project from Women’s Aid Ireland focused on teaching young people about coercive control and the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviours. We help educate young women in particular how to spot when someone is ‘too into you’ and provide dedicated support for young people subjected to intimate partner abuse at toointoyou.ie.

TW: Episode mentions violence, intimate relationship abuse, and coercive control.   Welcome back to Season 2 of the Too Into You Podcast! It’s International Women’s Day, and to celebrate, hosts Mary and Madeline chat to Destiny Ayo Vaughan and Jenny Maguire. Jenny Maguire is a writer, campaigner and commentator. Having previously served as president of Trinity Students’ Union, she is now a columnist for the Irish Independent. Jenny is also coorganiser of Trans and Intersex Pride Dublin. Destiny Ayo Vaughan is a clinical psychology student at Queen’s University Belfast, a recognised social entrepreneur, TEDx speaker, founder of Mind the Gap Ireland, and award‑winning activist. As a survivor of child abuse, trafficking, and the foster care system, she has transformed her lived experience into a catalyst for national change. We chat with them about: What it’s like to be a girl in the world today What messages young women are learning about dating and relationships and what brings them hope for the future of women’s rights If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not.   Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram.   The Too Into You Podcast is hosted by Mary Hayes, Too Into You Project Coordinator, and Madeline Campbell, Too Into You Project Officer.   About Too Into You: Too Into You a project from Women’s Aid Ireland focused on teaching young people about coercive control and the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviours. We help educate young women in particular how to spot when someone is ‘too into you’ and provide dedicated support for young people subjected to intimate partner abuse at toointoyou.ie.

TW: Episode mentions violence, domestic abuse, and coercive control. Since 1996, 276 women have been killed in violent circumstances in Ireland. This is known as femicide, the intentional killings of women and girls precisely because of their gender. For the final episode of the season, we sit down with Jodie McGuinness, sister of Natalie McGuinness. 10 years ago, Natalie was killed by Oisin Conroy, a man she saw as a close friend. She was just 23 years old. This October marks 10 years since Natalie’s killing.   We are also joined by Sarah Benson, CEO of Women’s Aid, whose expertise on violence against women spans over 25 years.   In this episode, we ask questions like: What is femicide? Who was Natalie McGuinness? Why did Oisin Conroy kill his close friend Natalie? What role does gender inequality play in the killing of women? If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie   Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram.

Why do people stay in relationships that hurt them? This month on the Too Into You Podcast, we dive into the complex links between love, shame, and trauma.   Mary is flying solo for this episode while Madeline is away, but she’s joined by Suzanna Knight and Niamh Wilson from Women’s Aid’s Training Department. With over 30 years’ combined experience, they’re experts in coercive control and the impact of trauma in intimate relationships.   Together, we unpack what a trauma bond really is, how shame keeps people feeling stuck, and why leaving an abusive relationship is never as simple as “just walking away.”   We’ll explore: How trauma bonds are formed in abusive relationships. The role shame plays in keeping survivors silent. Why your brain and body respond the way they do. The antidote to trauma   If you’ve ever wondered “Why didn’t they leave?” or asked yourself “Why do I feel this way?”, this episode will give you real answers, and remind you that you’re not alone.   If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship you can: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not.   Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram, and don’t forget to leave us a review and comment.   Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 03:19 – What is trauma? 06:49 - Fight, flight and freeze – Why Your Body Reacts This Way 16.45 – How abusers use shame to keep you trapped 25.51 – Trauma Bonds: Why Leaving Isn’t Simple 28.49 – Why do people control their partners? 31.48 – Healing: The antidote to trauma and shame

TW: Episode mentions suicide, suicidal ideation, image based sexual abuse, sexual abuse, coercive control.   In this powerful episode of Too Into You, host Mary Hayes sits down with Alexandra Ryan, award winning journalist, law graduate, founder and CEO of Goss.ie and survivor of image based sexual abuse.   When Ali was 25, she was filmed, without her knowledge or consent, having sex with a man she knew and trusted. She bravely shared her story on Goss.ie and has gone on to advocate for survivors of image based sexual abuse. Ali now acts as an Ambassador for the Department for the Justice and helped them launch a campaign to combat the sharing of intimate images without consent.   In this episode, we talk about: The real impact on victims — from shame and isolation to rebuilding trust. What does ‘revenge porn’ really mean? Coco’s Law and changes in Irish law that criminalise intimate image abuse. The pressures young women face to send nudes and sexually explicit imagery. Why it’s never your fault and what support is out there.   If someone shares or even threatens to share explicit images or videos of you without your permission, this is image based sexual abuse and it is a crime. If this has happened to you, you can: Learn more at: https://www.toointoyou.ie/get-help/sharing-of-intimate-images/ Report it at: https://hotline.ie/   Read Ali’s full story here: https://goss.ie/gallery/featured-2-the-truth-about-my-sex-tape-by-alexandra-ryan-232458-232458   If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship you can: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not.   Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram, and don’t forget to leave us a review and comment.   Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 01:40 – Who is Ali Ryan? 09:23 – Ali’s story and the impact of image based sexual abuse 22:46 – The truth about ‘revenge porn’ 26:12 – Taking back control and going public 29:32 – Pressure, porn and consent  37:00 – Shifting the public conversation 47.29 – A message of hope for anyone affected 49:49 – Episode wrap up with Madeline Campbell

Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship? Or like your partner blames for their actions? Or like things are moving way too fast in the honeymoon stage? You’re not alone, and it’s not your fault.   In this episode of the Too Into You podcast, we break down emotional abuse in young relationships, what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s so harmful. We dive into the early red flags like love bombing, gaslighting, negging, and isolation, and explore how they chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling confused, anxious, or stuck.   Whether you’re in a relationship, just getting out of one, or want to help a friend, this episode is here to remind you: real love doesn’t make you feel small. Because emotional abuse is real, it’s serious, and you deserve better. TW: Episode mentions domestic abuse, emotional abuse, intimate partner abuse, physical abuse and financial abuse. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram. Chapters 00:00 Intro 02:16 What is Emotional Abuse? 06:20 What is Love bombing? 15:00 What is Gaslighting? 26:10 What is Negging? 31:41 What about Isolation

Thinking about reaching out for help but not sure what to expect? In this episode, we chat Linda Smith, Head of National Helpline Services, and Eavan Ward, Head of Regional Services, from Women’s Aid to break down what actually happens when you ask for support.   We break down: What it’s like to call the Women’s Aid Helpline or use the chat service at toointoyou.ie What to expect from an appointment with Women’s Aid What it’s like to report abuse to the Gardaí How to gather evidence of abuse And much more Whether you’re in a relationship that feels off, worried about a friend, or just unsure if what you're experiencing is OK—this episode is for you. No judgment, no pressure—just honest answers.   TW: Episode mentions domestic abuse, emotional abuse, intimate partner abuse, physical abuse and financial abuse.   If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential.   Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not.   Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram.   Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 04:35 Are the support services right for me? 07:53 “My situation isn’t bad enough” and “ I don’t want to take time from someone who really needs it.” 11:13 What are the things people ask about on the helpline? 13:18 Staying together for the kids? 17:17 If I call Women’s Aid, will they just tell me to break up? 18:30 What happens when I call the Helpline? What will I be asked? 23:18 What to expect from an appointment with Women’s Aid? 25:33 What is the Drop in Service? How to get a Protection Order? 28:28 What to expect when you go to the Gardaí? 31:03 How to gather evidence of abuse 34:54 A message of hope for you 37:27 Episode chat with Madeline Campbell

On this episode, we chat to James O’Hagan from LGBT Ireland. James coordinates the LGBTQI+ Intimate Partner Violence Network.   We’ll be chatting about things like: - Does abuse happen in LGBTQ+ relationships? - What are the red flags of abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships? - What does a healthy queer relationship look like? - Where can young LGBTQ+ people find support?   Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not.   Remember, if you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential.   Contact LGBT Ireland: Call National LGBT Helpline on 1800 929 539 Find information and support at lgbt.ie   Don’t forget to give us a 5 star rating and leave a comment    Chapters 00:00 Intro 04:01 Who is LGBT Ireland and LGBTQI+ Community Intimate Partner Abuse Network 06:17 How coming out impacts young LGBTQ+ relationships 14:38 Common red flags of abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships 18:41 Dating someone who is already out 22:13 How abuse happens in LGBTQ+ relationships 26:10 Barriers to seeking support 29:08 Where to go for support 31:34 Supporting a friend or family member 34:00 Episode chat with Madeline Campbell

We’re answering your questions about dating and relationships, intimate partner abuse, and what healthy love really looks like. The Too Into You team – Mary and Madeline – chat through the questions you’ve sent us like: ·         We’ve got problems, but what if they promise to change? ·         How do I avoid narcissists and narcissistic abuse? ·         My friend won’t leave their toxic relationship, what do I do? Remember, if you are worried about your own relationship or a friend’s: - Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900 - Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Whatever your questions might be, we’re here to help. Take the Relationship Quiz to see if yours is healthy or not: https://www.toointoyou.ie/relationships/quiz/   Make sure you’re following us on social media: TikTok: @toointoyou_ Instagram: @toointoyou Don’t forget to subscribe, give us a 5 star rating and leave a comment, it helps us a lot! Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:27 Is it bad enough? Do we have to break up? 05:19 Is my boyfriend being protective or controlling? 07:40 How do I help my friend in a toxic relationship? 11:36 Will they ever change? 14:34 How to avoid narcissistic types like my ex 17:02 Setting boundaries in a new relationship 24:15 What happens if your nudes leak? 30:18 How do I rebuild my self esteem after leaving my abusive ex?

On this episode, we chat to Sarah Monaghan from the We Consent. We-Consent is a long-term national campaign, run by the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre, to inform, educate and engage with all members of society about consent.   We’ll be chatting about things like: - What is consent? - How can consent make sex more enjoyable? - What is sexual violence? - What to do if it happens to you?   Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not.   Remember, if you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential.   Contact Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (available nationwide) Call 24hr Rape Crisis Helpline 1800778888 - free, confidential & non-judgmental Webchat is available at DRCC.ie Share your story anonymously, securely & safely at WeSpeak.ie Learn more at we-consent.ie Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:52 What is the WeConsent campaign? 04:04 What is consent? 06:08 Why is consent important in relationships? 08:14 Meaningful consent - It’s not just about ‘yes’ 10:00 Ways to talk to your partner about your preferences 13:06 ‘Consent ruins the mood’ - Misconceptions around consent 19:34 When sex turns to sexual violence 25:54 How do you know what your boundaries are? 30:04 What factors influence consent? 32:45 The power of little conversations 34:12 Navigating consent online 36:27 Need support? 38:00 One message on consent 39:04 Episode chat with Madeline Campbell

On this episode, the Too Into You team - Mary and Madeline - break down myths and misconceptions about abuse.  We’ll be answering questions like: - Does abuse go both ways? - ⁠Why didn’t they just leave? - ⁠Is abuse just physical?  Remember, if you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship:  • Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900.  • Chat for support at toointoyou.ie  Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz to see if yours is healthy or not: https://www.toointoyou.ie/relationships/quiz/ Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:13 Introduction 02:08 Myth: Abuse only happens to older, married people 04:07 Myth: “They were just drunk” 06:25 Myth: Abuse is just physical 07:04 Myth: Online abuse is not serious 10:14 Myth: Physical abuse is the most serious form of abuse 11:38 Myth: “They’re just protective and care about me” 14:14 Myth: Women make up sexual abuse 13:36 Myth: Abuse can go both ways 20:19 Myth: If it’s that bad you can just leave 27:09 Myth: No one will believe you 28:37 Myth: You’ll never find love again

On this episode, we are joined by Jody Duggan. From the ages to 17 to 19, Jody was abused by her now convicted ex-partner Jake Boles. Jody is now an Ambassador for the Too Into You campaign and bravely shares her story so other young women feel less alone. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz to see if yours is healthy or not: https://www.toointoyou.ie/relationships/quiz/ Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:29 Introduction 03:18 How the relationship started 04:45 Early red flags in the honeymoon stage 07:46 How she became trapped in the relationship 11:01 Impact of emotional abuse 14:04 Her tipping point 17:18 Her experience in the courts 18:54 What is life like now? 20:13 How sharing her story has helped 21:42 How she defines healthy love now 24:07 How to help a friend 27:24 Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed 28:04  Episode chat with Madeline Campbell

For our first episode, we are joined by Keelin Moncrieff. Keelin is a writer, podcaster and mother of one. She has created an inclusive and supportive community across her channels, where she talks about everything from books, to sustainable fashion, food and self-care. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz to see if yours is healthy or not: https://www.toointoyou.ie/relationships/quiz/ Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:29 Introduction 03:18 How the relationship started 04:45 Early red flags in the honeymoon stage 07:46 How she became trapped in the relationship 11:01 Impact of emotional abuse 14:04 Her tipping point 17:18 Her experience in the courts 18:54 What is life like now? 20:13 How sharing her story has helped 21:42 How she defines healthy love now 24:07 How to help a friend 27:24 Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed 28:04  Episode chat with Madeline Campbell

The Too Into You podcast from Women’s Aid is here to explore the difference between love that lifts you up, and love that holds you back. With expert insights, real stories, and honest conversations, each episode will unpack red flags, celebrate green flags, and help you spot when someone is too into you. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential.