NEUROTICA with Brett Gelman & Ari Dayan

Ari and Brett talk about abusive psychotic school teachers. Their mutual hatred for school growing up. Their mutual love for their school lunches, as well as their mutual love of their badass moms!!!

Ari and Brett get new mikes. Brett has a beef with a flower shop. Ari coins the term “sosh meed”. Ari and Brett break down their fluidity. Brett fears he’s becoming “old hat”. Ari talks hats. They discuss the Tik Tok trend “Guess My Fart” and conclude the existence of farts proves the existence of God. Brett literally shits the bed. They share their hatred of school.

Brett talks about his Shrek vibes, Ari blames Brett for blaming her, Ari auditions for Headspace, they both get triggered by the word trigger, express their love for Love On The Spectrum, and Brett gives a shout out to his Other Guys fans.

Are we drug addicts? Brett can't sell drugs when he's on tour with a family for the last Dead tour. Ari loves a deal. Buying mushrooms in bulk. Ketamine. K Holes. Mystery psychadelics in amsterdam. Everyone sh*t their pants. Am I the doorknob?

Stressing each other out. Lack of sleep. Dehydration. Ari's guilt for killing the ant colony infesting her bathroom. OCD. The craziest thing Brett ever said during sex. Ari's former italian lover - sex with him was like prosciutto & melon. Brett is like a pastrami sandwich. James Gandolfini is Ari's sexiest man of all time.

That time Ari joined an Ayahuasca cult. Or maybe it wasn't a cult - but they all wore white... and they ritualistically did all the drugs... and it sure looks and sounds and feels like a cult. She freaks out. The cult bros put a crystal on Ari's forehead. Brett is with that deadhead family smoking weed. The cult leader cracks Ari's neck, then gets into some shit and it's not pretty.

On tje very first NEUROTICA original interview, Brett and Ari sit down with climate activist Grata Thurrrrrrrnberg - who has recently switched sides in the fight of global warming. Break out the sunscreen, bathing suit season is coming.

Ari meets a teenager on a dark road - one of them may be a serial killer, or it's just a teenager who snuck out of her house. Ari needed therapy so bad, so did Brett (if you watch the show, that's very obvious). They share stories of things that should have killed them in their teens. Ari blacked out and climbed on a roof while her friends cried. Brett tries to steal weed from a farm in Illinois to get Rainbow out of jail. Brett wraps his Pontiac around a tree.

Their biggest fight was about the toppings on a pizza. Bagels. Getting hit by a surfer. Arugula Gate. French Fry Gate. Watermelon Gate. Early days of their relationship. Cramps. The best pizza in the world. Their dogs. Brett's OCD. What are the biggest changes they would make in each other?

Ep 3 - Imagining Sharon stone/ Michael Douglas during sex, getting pregnant, doctors, giving away their old condoms, body count, the favorite, the arc light, pointing your toes during sex, technology solving the climate crisis, fossil fuels, cleaning the ocean with a zapper.

Why did it take so long to get a divorce, brett and Ari’s relationship, relationship beginnings, why does Ari love brett, Why does Brett love Ari, do you deserve to be happy? Living in front of the tv as a child, bad TV, different strokes, their dogs, dog treats, being transient, living with your parents, fighting about their new house, champagne and the afterglow, Brett was raised wrong, chewing your tongue, smelly sex, brett going insane, talking about aids in health class in the 80’s, high school, inbreeding, genetic mental illness, + having babies.

Are you mad at me? Showing skin, Brett is neurotic, grandpa escaping the mental hospital, inbreeding. Brett is annoying, signing our ketubah, jewish married, married means you’re old, anal instead of virginity, soaking as a loophole, god, holocaust survival, religious rituals, stress, Brett’s last marriage, masterbation bait, contributions in the relationship, refusing to clean and wallowing in the afterglow,

Funny, touching, and completely insane. Listen (Watch) as newlywed artists Brett Gelman and Ari Dayan take you on a wild ride and give you an insiders’ view of their unfiltered love affair - complete with all the chaos, confessions, crazy characters, bizarre encounters, and what it’s like to live in their wild world of performing, creating, and cohabitating in the twisted corners of their minds. From backstage drama to domestic bliss, they'll have you laughing, crying, and questioning your own sanity. A Hilarious and heartfelt relationship - nothing is off limits as Ari and Brett aren't afraid to share it and bare it. After all, they have the rest of their lives together.