Your Internet Boyfriends

This week, Mark and Denis reveal their biggest news yet - Your Internet Boyfriends are hosting a full live show at the Pleasance Theatre in London on March 5th, 2026. Live podcast, cabaret bits, songs, dancing, kissing, and a very secret special guest.We also catch up on:Mark’s “peekaboo T-shirt” styling hack2,000 fairy lights turning Denis’ flat into a migrainewinter eating, waffles, eggs, beans and the “winter tonne”Mark’s dramatic birthday routine (rain walk, emo playlist, existential crisis)nostalgic Shaggy deep-dives and singing wildly inappropriate lyrics as younginsKorn, Mr. Boombastic, and the boyband eras we’d all rather forgetthe micro-dramas of Irish news: runaway dogs, sleepy women, and national bus updatesEnnis being “torn asunder” by pedestrianisation warsCork paving over its park with seven million euro of concreteWeekly queer straight comedy, Irish nostalgia, and the warm comfort of two men overthinking everything.Hit Follow - Your Internet Boyfriends are braced for winter and buzzing for the live show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denis and Mark are celebrating the return of the iconic Juno Birch to the podcast, catching up on her latest adventures and the wild world of monkeys stealing phones.This week, Denis tries to explain Ireland’s sudden football glory to Mark including Troy Parrott’s hat-trick and a parrot in Dublin Zoo who’s now somehow part of the story. We also unpack whether “boyfriend” is officially lame, when someone becomes a “partner,” and why office small talk has turned into a full-time sexuality guessing game.Meanwhile, George the cat is testing everyone’s patience with attempted mouth-licking and the constant risk of escape. Denis shares the terror of misgendering pets (“owners get very offended”) and Mark reveals his cat-sitting technique that basically involves slithering through a doorway like a break-in.We also cover:Wish the Lindsay Lohan box office smash misjudging in the officesubtle (and not subtle) ways to “fish” for informationpet gender etiquette and why dogs are apparently all maleGeorge’s lonely boy era and his fish-on-a-string routinethe stress of cat-sitting in a busy London neighbourhoodDenis blushingSaturday-morning-TV crew gigglescinema dates, £30 tickets, and bougie popcornEveryman cinema beds, pizzas and £7 sweetsGeorge Clooney ruining movie intros with his broken Nespresso adHit Follow — your Internet Boyfriends are here again. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denis and Mark are joined by their very first guest and Internet Girlfriend — the iconic Juno Birch, the pastel-alien queen known for her surreal drag, chaotic Sims playthroughs, and lovingly unhinged YouTube universe.What starts as a chat about DragCon suddenly becomes a full tour of throwing dolls off balconies, Dublin boxing arenas, Sims addiction, bizarre fan gifts, and Cyril the toothless ginger cat with sunburnt ears. Plus a deep dive into cabaret, confidence, American vs UK audiences, and the dream of living in a pink desert bungalow.This episode includes:DragCon, booth-bitching and sticker salesDoll decapitations in San FranciscoDina Martina, artistic ba*****ds and cabaret inspirationHow Irish crowds shout back (and why that’s good)Sims unaliving, cages, neighbours and 8-hour streamsGifted computers from bee farmers and cursed fan artCyril’s fangs, sun cream disaster and nightly neck-sleepingFollow for more delightfully unpredictable weekly chat. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s catch-up delivers:Denis accidentally witnessing a full arse on Bond Street,Mark seeing two (planned) arses,flirtation with two trendy Berlin lads,and the shocking moment a £17 brunch served them two sad fingernail-sized nuggets of “buttermilk chicken.”We also get into kombucha that tastes like the hot press, sink swamps, knives-as-snacks, Christmas décor trauma, Toymaster flashbacks, and Denis forgetting to compliment the cycling blouse that sent Instagram feral.Elsewhere, the lads chat about Lily Allen’s new album — her first in years — and the scandal that’s come with its brutally honest lyrics. There’s also talk of Paddington: The Musical, the stage adaptation nobody saw coming but somehow everyone’s talking about.A very normal week in queer London life — with more arses than necessary. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denis spots a Mark lookalike speeding through Brixton on a bizarre new mode of transport, sparking confusion, curiosity, and a mild identity crisis. Meanwhile, the real Mark ends up being apprehended by Ikea security for some alleged shoplifting. Between Brixton sightings, flat-pack drama, and public embarrassment, it’s been an eventful few days. Elsewhere, the lads chat about Ireland’s newly elected president Catherine Connolly, a newly purchased red mask, and the tricky business of finding the right birthday gift. Plus, there’s a nostalgic revisit to that unforgettable scene from Scary Movie. You know, the one with the ear and the, yup. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Mark and Denis dive into grooming resets, runaway pinkies, mid-shower revelations, and a disastrously timed naked moment involving a cat cone and a very bright kitchen light. There’s talk of uneven tans, eyebrow maintenance, the return of George the indoor cat, and Denis’s trip to the Frieze Art Fair - complete with opinions on contemporary pieces, massive coats, and the surprising price of a glass of rosé. The lads also get into passwords, facial recognition, and the eternal struggle of modern tech, before finishing with a conversation about twins on Twitter who may have gone a step too far.Denis’ involuntary pinky and Birdcage flashbacksHair, beard, brow, and tan maintenanceThe Barcelona/Ballinasloe hand-colour issueA naked cat-cone situation gone wrongGeorge the indoor icon makes a reappearanceDramatic coats and fashion peoplePassword overload and tech irritationsFacial recognition masks and questionable possibilitiesTwins online doing… more than expectedFollow for more boyfriends every week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark dishes the goss from the Attitude Awards while Denis bumps into huge celebrities in London before the two lads check in with their international boyfriend Jonny B fresh from his undercover trip to an Irish football match. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we’re recording from Shorty’s Barbershop in Hackney to mark World Mental Health Day - so naturally we end up talking about everything from disastrous childhood haircuts to modern dating etiquette and the surprising durability of hairpieces.Denis relives the agony of barbers who never listened (“leave it long on top” apparently meant nothing), school photos ruined by DIY fringe disasters, and the horror of seeing your own head from all angles on CCTV. Mark opens up about the rumours that he was secretly wearing a wig.We also cover:the man with the perfect, unshakeable hairpiecetablets that make your hair grow back (not medical advice, babes)Mark's rom-com-level Soho “affair” at the corner of a sex shopwhy messaging for weeks is hell - just go on the datethe tiny chit-chat after sex that ruins the momentDenis' accidental marital crisis over four walnutsarses on Lidl scannersdropping the “perfect version” of yourselfchildhood bowl cuts and page-boy erastherapy and all our feelingsHit Follow — your Internet Boyfriends are freshly trimmed and oversharing again. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark and Denis eat cocktail sausages in the Irish Embassy while Mark admits to stealing another mans top. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denis arrives into the studio half-alive after a night of no sleep and a phone that keeps rebooting itself like it’s trying to escape him. Denis tries to explain Supermarket Sweep, fails, then blindsides Mark with a tourism leaflet boldly calling Ennis the boutique capital of Ireland.This week you’ll hear about:A meal deal that never got eatenMark getting critiques drama while sitting in a spaA listener convinced Mark is “being used”Fifty men on a stag doing absolutely nothingWhy mixed hens are always more funAnd an honest assessment of Ennis fashion cultureFollow for more steamy stories every week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark needs Denis' help interpreting a dream while Denis runs through all the smells and perfumes of his teenage years. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denis' mind is blown when he finds out about what they do in Berlin clubs. Mark laughs so much he forgets to record the intro. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark and Denis welcome in the autumn by reliving their school days and Mark's... emo phase. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark and Denis reach episode 30 and spend most of it talking about the Teletubbies in nightclubs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark tells us all about a saucy cultural event while Denis reveals his close call with a taxi driver. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark gets the results of some tests while a jetlagged Denis returns from his big fancy trip to LA. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark coaches Denis on how to cruise the streets of London while Denis encounters a very crotchy and very toothless waiter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark reveals a secret Your Internet Boyfriends photoshoot while Denis discusses laying in bed with Mark for a couple of hours. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denis reveals the chaotic experience of Lisa meeting his family. Mark gives Denis tips on how to spice up things in the bedroom. Yes, in the same episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark has a celebrity encounter in a sauna while Denis finds an ingenious way of getting much needed antibiotics. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.