10% Happier with Dan Harris

The liberation that comes from realizing that you're never going to get everything done. Oliver Burkeman is the author of the Sunday Times bestselling Four Thousand Weeks, The Antidote, and most recently, Meditations for Mortals. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. He has a devoted following for his writing on productivity, mortality, the power of limits, and building a meaningful life in an age of bewilderment.  This episode originally appeared in April 2024.  In this episode we talk about: What the term "imperfectionism" means The illusion of reaching a point where "everything's done" Why there's liberation in seeing how finite we are  Why small, imperfect actions are more valuable than perfect plans Why overplanning is a kind of avoidance How to make decisions  The importance of finishing things Who you should develop a taste for problems Why effort doesn't always equal value Why we need to stop protecting other people's feelings And the paradox of mattering immensely and not at all Related Episodes: The Power of Negative Thinking  Time Management for Mortals Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp: BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Visit betterhelp.com/happier to explore your payment options. Instant Hydration: For a better way to stay hydrated, go to instanthydration.com/10HAPPIER and use my promo code 10HAPPIER for over 40% off your first subscription order - it's Instant Hydration's best offer available. Square: Run your business smarter with Square. You can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/happier.  To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

You don't get to choose what's thrown at you — only how you respond. Karma as a tool for agency, attention sovereignty as a political act, and what to do when you feel completely helpless. The news is a lot right now. And for most of us, the usual options — doom scroll until midnight, or unplug entirely — don't actually help. Meditation teacher Pascal Auclair joins Dan for a live community conversation on how to stay engaged with what's happening in the world without letting it wreck your nervous system, your relationships, or your sleep. In this conversation, Pascal Auclair and Dan Harris discuss: Why reading the news can be reframed as an act of love — and why that changes everything What Buddhism actually says about karma, and whether the bad guys get theirs How to balance staying informed with protecting your mental health The difference between passive equanimity and wise, engaged action How much news is too much — and why the answer is different for everyone Why attention itself has become a battleground, and how mindfulness is your best defense Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997. He was mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at IMS and Spirit Rock, where he now teaches retreats. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of its Guiding Teachers. Find more of his guided meditations in the 10% with Dan Harris app. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Which conflict style are you? Plus: avoiding the "trance of nice," walking the high wire, and an uber-hack for getting over irritation. devon + nico hase serve as guiding teachers of the online dharma community Refuge of Belonging. They teach at the Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, and other centers, offer online and in-person retreats, and speak with students in one-on-one sessions. They are the co-authors of How Not to Be a Hot Mess and the new This Messy, Gorgeous Love: A Buddhist Guide to Lasting Partnership.  In this episode we talk about: Why friction in relationships is a feature, not a bug The three directions of listening Why joy isn't a nice-to-have How contemplating death can dissolve everyday irritation Whether you're a volcano, a diplomat, or a dodger How to rupture like a pro Why real patience has teeth What it means to walk the high wire in a conflict Related Episodes: The Sex Episode Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Six archetypes: Which one are you? Plus, a simple question to help you distinguish real, current fears from old, outdated ones. Dr. Galit Atlas is an internationally renowned psychoanalyst and leader in relational psychoanalysis. She teaches at NYU and Columbia University and lectures internationally on sexuality, desire, and emotional inheritance. Her latest book is Come Closer. You can also read her essays on Substack, Wild Analysis with Dr. Galit Atlas. In this episode we talk about: The six childhood archetypes that quietly run your adult relationships Why the version of you that felt too big or too small never actually grew up A simple question to ask yourself the moment old fear takes over The surprising link between blame and a feeling you'd rather not name What separates jealousy from envy — and why it matters more than you think The phrases people use when they're secretly telling you the opposite Why setting boundaries feels like betrayal if you were raised a certain way The real reason acceptance has to come before change, not after Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel This episode is sponsored by: OSEA: Go to OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HAPPIER. Planet Visionaries: In partnership with The Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, listen to or watch Planet Visionaries wherever you get your podcasts. Cash App: Download Cash App Today: click.cash.app/ui6m/oh9jnxlq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

What kids can teach you about how to handle anger, being uptight, and rejection, according to the creator of Recess Therapy. Julian Shapiro-Barnum is a comedian, writer, and interviewer known for Recess Therapy, Celebrity Substitute, and Outside Tonight. He's won seven Webby Awards, was named to the Forbes 30 Under 30, and received a Family Entertainment Award from Variety. His first book is How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up. In this episode we talk about: The playground question kids ask that adults are too scared to say out loud Why Julian stopped calling it your "inner child" — and what he calls it instead The trick for making feelings pass in minutes instead of weeks How breaking a rule on purpose can loosen something bigger in you The childhood habit that makes rejection sting so much less What growing up with five parents taught Julian about talking to anyone A tiny physical habit that can snowball into real change Why the most viral moment of his career wasn't about wisdom at all Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel This episode is sponsored by: Planet Visionaries: In partnership with The Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, listen to or watch Planet Visionaries wherever you get your podcasts. Fitnexa: You can learn more about the FitNexa Somnipods 3 at fitnexa.com and use the code HAPPIER10 for $10 off your order. To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris