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Delusional Diaries

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Join Halley and Jaz every Thursday. The girls are bringing you along as they chat through navigating their lives in NYC. They chat through dating, friendships, hot takes and more. Listen and feel like you're on FaceTime with your best friends laughing through the ups and downs of life.
103 Episodes
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this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are in full catch-up mode: starting with freezing New York weather, apartment struggles that feel borderline illegal, and the universal winter rage that comes with it. from heat that doesn’t heat to space heaters blowing fuses, it’s a full-on b**ching hour that somehow turns comforting. because if you’re also freezing, spiraling, and questioning your living situation… welcome home.the girls get into engagement discourse, internet weirdos, and the surprisingly heated debate around last names, weddings, and traditions. they talk natural vs. lab diamonds, why people care way too much, and the very real headache of changing your name (paperwork trauma, confirmed). there’s also a wholesome moment of self-reflection, family dynamics, and choosing which traditions actually matter, and which ones you’re allowed to ignore.plus, gym etiquette horror stories, accidental main-character embarrassment, throwback nights out that involve limos and serotonin, and a nostalgic dive into the magcon era you either lived for or somehow missed entirely. it’s chaotic, honest, funny, and very “this could’ve been a private conversation but now it’s a podcast.”, as always. Timestamps 1:35 - We are freezing 21:57 - the MAGCON boys 30:42 - Weddings are expensive 32:00 - The SuperBowl and our predictions 49:27 - Halley’s Elle Woods moment Link to video Jaz references: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8H6RLF9/ Links SeatGeek - Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. Max $20 discountApartments.com - apartments.comNutrafol - nutrafol.com use code DELUSIONAL for $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping More of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/More of Halley:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/halleykmcg/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@halleykateMore of Jaz:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justjazzzyidk/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justjazzzyidkYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/justjazzzyidkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
in this episode of Delusional Diaries, Halley is officially engaged… yes let’s take a moment. and she’s recording minutes after surviving a truly cursed international travel day. fresh off a chaotic europe run (Rome, the French Alps, Geneva, Zurich & probably hell too after the insane travel), the girls unpack surprise engagements, emotional whiplash, canceled flights, snowstorms, and why airports bring out your worst personality traits.they get into luxury delusions vs. reality: hermes bag politics, resale drama, obscene swiss prices, brand-trip burnout, ski towns without the skiing, and why being a tourist is actually the correct approach to traveling. Halley breaks down how getting engaged didn’t magically change her life or personality, while Jaz keeps things grounded with humor, honesty, and a shared love of spa resets, elite chocolate, and friendship decompression.naturally, the conversation spirals: travel-day crash-outs, snapping at your partner for absolutely no reason, quitting habits during a snowstorm, the existential pressure to have a “hobby,” and the realization that some people thrive in chaos more than consistency. engagement glow, nervous system fried. no pretending, no polishing, just your two favorite besties breaking down everything.Timestamps 0:28 - Travel days & engagements 11:03 - Halley’s first time skiing 18:16 - Switzerland  32:00 - Rest days and hobbies42:41 - The Price is Right Links Seat Geek - Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. Max $20 discountCozy Earth - Go to cozyearth.com/DELUSIONALBOGO for an exclusive deal onlyIM8 - im8health.com/delusional and use code delusional for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets plus 10% off your order Chime - chime.com/diaries Progressive Insurance - progressive.comMore of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/More of Halley:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/halleykmcg/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@halleykateMore of Jaz:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justjazzzyidk/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justjazzzyidkYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/justjazzzyidkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are truly going to take you on a rollercoaster of chatting & beyond. from unexpectedly feeling way too much empathy during high-stakes sports games to realizing that escapism shouldn’t cause anxiety, they unpack the little thoughts that spiral into way bigger conversations. what starts as football stress quickly turns into a debate about why caring too much can be exhausting, and why sometimes you just want your entertainment to be fun, not emotionally taxing.the girls also get into music moods, pop culture obsessions, and the shows that shaped them. from rethinking sad-girl playlists and romanticizing The Bold Type as peak twenties escapism, to loving Zara Larsson’s comeback and needing to be “in on” whatever show the internet is obsessing over, it’s a full deep dive into comfort culture. along the way, they talk celebrity sightings, influencer life, social media chaos, and the weird pressure of always being online.as always, the episode wraps with classic H & J shenanigans: procrastination confessions, friendship dynamics, hypothetical life questions, beauty honesty, and hot takes on cheating, botox, baby names, and becoming a “real” New Yorker. it’s funny, self-aware, slightly unhinged, and very much giving “two best friends talking on the couch about everything and nothing” (exactly how we like it).Timestamps0:18 - Stressed about sports4:10 - Finding the happy songs 14:45 - Bitching hour 19:00 - Procrastinator (kinda of) 30:50 - Losing at an award show 45:26 - Reality TV show dating Links SeatGeek - Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. Max $20 discountCaraway - Carawayhome.com/DIARIES or use code DIARIES atcheckout for 10% off your next purchase Apartments.com - https://www.apartments.com/Progressive insurance - https://www.progressive.com/More of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/More of Halley:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/halleykmcg/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@halleykateMore of Jaz:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justjazzzyidk/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justjazzzyidkYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/justjazzzyidkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz catch up after a chaotic start to the new year and talk about what it actually looks like to slow down without losing their minds. they unpack travel burnout, the pressure to always be on the move, and the realization that building your entire schedule around workout classes, waitlists, and cancellation fees might not be the healthiest lifestyle choice. from embracing solo gym time to treadmill editing and the ongoing Pilates discourse, the girls share what routines feel sustainable right now, and which ones quietly make life harder than it needs to be.as always, the episode naturally drifts into a classic B**ching Hour™️, covering the annoyances that shouldn’t matter but absolutely do. Halley vents about unnecessary rush fees and timing mishaps, while both girls spiral over delayed luggage, winter trips being impossible to pack for, and the stress of brand travel when your jacket is basically your entire outfit. they also talk about reading podcast comments, dealing with online opinions, and the mental balance of appreciating positive feedback without letting praise, or criticism, get too personal.the episode wraps with nostalgia that you probably will relate to as well, from teenage sleepovers, fake IDs, Four Lokos, and sneaking alcohol to the unmatched joy of girls’ nights before men became the center of everything. they touch on dogs, adoption realities, new hobbies that may or may not last, and the shared delusion that this year is somehow going to be the one. nothing groundbreaking, just a very real, very Halley & Jaz episode.Timestamps 0:40 - Intentional traveling 8:30 - Bitching hour 16:68 - Podcast comment section 33:41 - Jaz’s new hobby 40:15 - Our first drinks 54:46 - What is the most annoying quality anyone could have 56:24 - Hinge prompts Links Apartments.com - apartments.comBlissy - blissy.com/diaries code DIARIES for an extra 30% off Dime Beauty - dimebeauty.com and use code PODCAST20 for 20% off Nutrafol - Nutrafol.com/delusional for $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shippingProgressive Insurance - progressive.com Quince - quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returns See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
it’s the first episode of the year, and Halley and Jaz are ringing in 2026 exactly how they know best: overanalyzing everything, setting unrealistic resolutions, and spiraling (lovingly) through life updates. from the psychological power of a “new year, new me” mindset to seasonal depression, meds, wellness eras, and why January feels either elite or unbearable, the girls unpack how they’re approaching the year ahead: very differently.the episode flows through travel plans, brand trips, Rome itineraries, New Year’s hangovers, book obsessions, TV recs that may or may not ever be watched, and the internet drama everyone seems forced to have an opinion on. the girls sound off on influencer discourse, public scrutiny, relationships in the spotlight, and why sometimes it’s okay to simply not care.they also dive into relationship dynamics, wedding season thoughts, guest etiquette, bachelorette trip planning, and whether opposites really do attract. as always, the episode balances humor with honesty, proving once again that delusion, when paired with self-awareness, is actually a life skill. cozy up, welcome the new year, and let the spiral begin once again.Timestamps0:24 - 2026 Jaz 6:39 - New Years Eve11:57 - Online drama 30:50 - All things wedding 39:11 - Voice memos and facetime calls 46:42 - Cutting up a wedding dressLinks Apartments.com: apartments.com Progressive Insurance: progressive.comMore of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
2025 wrapped

2025 wrapped

2025-12-3152:47

it is New Year’s Eve, and in this episode of Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz catch up after a rough holiday stretch, unpacking everything from being violently sick with the flu to navigating grief, canceled plans, and the strange emotional whiplash that comes with the end of the year. they reflect on Christmas not going as expected, the loneliness that can creep in during downtime, and how loss puts everything into perspective, even when you don’t quite know what to say or feel.from there, the girls spiral into their classic b**ching hour, one last time for 2025: why shopping in Aritzia should be classified as an extreme sport, why sidewalk etiquette in New York is apparently a lost art, and the internet’s obsession with correcting women in relationships. they also get candid about online comments, ownership, boundaries, and why saying “we” doesn’t suddenly erase a woman’s independence or accomplishments.the episode wraps with a chaotic but heartfelt 2025 recap: favorite songs, trips, outfits, purchases, crash-outs, and milestones, along with reflections on female friendship, partnership vs. best friendship, and why having your person in different forms matters. we’re closing the year exactly as we lived it: honest, imperfect, and surrounded by the people who make it survivable. if this year humbled you, broke you open, or changed you forever, this episode is for you.Timestamps 0:23 - Jaz’s flu 8:06 - Bitching hour 16:01 - Is your husband your best friend?22:06 - Heated Rivalry 27:23 - Our 2025 wrapped 44:42 - 12 Grapes under the table LinksSeatGeek: Use our code DELUSIONAL10 for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountMore of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
unwrapping it all

unwrapping it all

2025-12-2501:01:05

it’s Christmas, and here at Delusional Diaries, we’re not forcing a festive mood or pretending life magically slows down for the holidays. Halley and Jaz sit in the in-between space: post-travel, end-of-year, slightly exhausted, and talk through everything that didn’t go exactly as planned. from luxury trips that felt underwhelming, to honeymoons that turned out to be longer than needed, they unpack expectations versus reality and what it actually means to know yourself well enough to opt out.the conversation naturally drifts into internet chaos and strong opinions, covering viral pranks, influencer etiquette, filming in workout classes, and the exhausting double standards women are constantly navigating online. they also get honest about holiday logistics in relationships: doing holidays apart, family traditions, engagement pressure, and why choosing what works for you can feel uncomfortable but necessary this time of year.to close it out, the episode turns reflective without getting sentimental. the girls talk end-of-year wins, mental health growth, unexpected emotions around marriage and pregnancy tests, blocks of the week, friendship moments, and a fast-food sauce crusade that somehow feels like a small Christmas miracle. it’s messy, real, funny, and grounding, exactly the kind of episode you want on while the holiday noise dies down and you finally get a minute to breathe. Timestamps 0:21 - Happy to be back  5:28 - Jaz’s honeymoon 9:24 - Need to get this off my chest 15:06 - This year’s wins 24:35 - Block of the week 38:05 - Rude influencers 47:40 - Squishmellows and Wendy’s53:48 - Sleep schedules LinksChime: chime.com/diaries More of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
let them ft. Mel Robbins

let them ft. Mel Robbins

2025-12-1801:01:53

In this episode of Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz sit down with Mel Robbins. Mel Robbins is a bestselling author, one of the most sought-after motivational speakers in the world, and the host of The Mel Robbins Podcast. She is known for translating complex psychological research into practical tools people can actually use, including the Five Second Rule, the High Five Habit, and the Let Them theory. Her work has helped millions build confidence, reduce anxiety, and take ownership of their lives through simple, science-backed strategies.The three are behind the mic for a grounded, honest conversation about emotional regulation, boundaries, and what it actually takes to reclaim your sense of control. Mel breaks down the thinking behind her Let Them theory and explains why so much of our stress comes from trying to manage other people’s emotions, reactions, and expectations.Together, they explore how letting go of control doesn’t mean indifference, it means responsibility. Mel shares practical tools for handling anxiety, navigating conflict without self-abandonment, and responding to emotional triggers with clarity instead of impulse. The conversation moves beyond surface-level self-help and into the real work of tolerating discomfort, sitting with difficult emotions, and choosing responses that align with your values.This episode is for anyone who feels emotionally drained, overly reactive, or stuck in patterns that no longer serve them. It’s a reminder that peace isn’t passive… it’s built through awareness, boundaries, and the decision to take your power back, one moment at a time.Timestamps 0:16 - This week’s guest 4:47 - How we Let Them 12:41 - Acting on emotions16:53 - Mel’s challenge for everyone30:34 - Do you want advice or do you want me to keep listening? 35:51 - Mom and daughter dynamics 44:58 - Fighting in relationships More of Mel Robbins:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/Website: https://www.melrobbins.com/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbinsBuy The Let Them Theory here: https://www.melrobbins.com/book/the-let-them-theory/More of Delusional Diaries Podcast:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/delusionaldiariespodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@delusionaldiariespodcastYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelusionaldiariespodcastSubstack: https://delusionaldiariespodcast.substack.com/Website: https://delusionaldiaries.com/LinksClearstem: clearstem.com/delusional and use code delusional for 15% off your first order See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
am i the a–hole?

am i the a–hole?

2025-12-1159:07

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are back on the couch diving headfirst into a series of chaotic, messy, and brutally honest AITA scenarios. from family drama and baby gender reveals gone wrong, to impossible co-parenting situations and friendship betrayals, nothing is off-limits. as always, the girls bring their unfiltered opinions, real-world perspective, and zero hesitation when it comes to calling things exactly as they see them.beyond the AITA chaos, the episode takes a turn into some of their most entertaining hot takes yet, from breaking up during the holidays, airplane etiquette that sparks real rage, using AI for wedding vows, and how long you actually should wait before dating again after a breakup. they also dive into love languages, what’s secretly attractive that has nothing to do with sex, and whether drinking on a first date is a red flag or a rite of passage.to round it all out, the girls get into hobbies (or lack thereof), Kindle obsessions, dressing your boyfriend better, gift-giving as intervention, and the very real struggle of trying to become a “reader.” it’s funny, honest, and loaded with relatable moments that remind you exactly why you listen to us. tune in for laughs, chaos, and way too much honesty, exactly how we like it.Timestamps 0:18 - Am i the a**hole stories 14:44 - Breaking up over the holidays 19:09 - AI writing your wedding vows 27:29 - Finding new hobbies 35:11 - Kindle club 40:49 - First dates 48:24 - Where does anxiety stem from LinksSeatGeek - Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/DELUSIONAL10 Sponsored by SeatGeek.*Restrictions apply. Max $20 discountDownload Cash App Today:https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Quince - quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returns Wayfair - wayfair.comChime - chime.com/diaries See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz kick things off with absolute chaos: from navigating the most unserious New York notary experience imaginable to selling a house, demolishing walls for a bed that simply refuses to fit, and surviving the stress of home renovations. they get into holiday plans, solo Thanksgivings, and why Thanksgiving food might just be the most overrated meal of the year. plus, Halley shares the full story behind adopting her fourth dog, the emotional rollercoaster of rescue life, and an unexpected escape-artist pup.the girls dive deep into your questions about dating, long distance, and the fear of being single forever, especially in big cities. they unpack why effort actually matters in love, how to enjoy single seasons without rushing the timeline, and why people are allowed to change their minds even when it hurts. from imposter syndrome and career confidence to cutting people out of your life without dragging things out, this episode blends brutal honesty with real-world advice you can actually use.they also tackle controversial wedding dilemmas, stay-at-home dad dynamics, tricky in-law boundaries, and what it really means to protect your peace as you level up in life. whether you’re navigating relationships, career doubts, friendships that no longer serve you, or just need a comforting listen that feels like FaceTiming your best friends: this episode is raw, reflective, funny, and painfully relatable.Timestamps 0:25 - So New York 10:42 - The holidays 14:08 - Key West 21:21 - Questions from our followers 36:06 - Stay at home dads and imposter syndrome 47:15 - Monster in law advice LinksCashApp: Download Cash App Today:https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosuresClearstem: use code DELUSIONAL at checkout for 15% off clearstem.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
this thanksgiving, we’re thankful for friendship! Maddie is back, and this episode is dedicated to the event of the season: the bachelorette in Cabo. we break down everything: Maddie’s favorite parts, the lingerie gifting, the unhinged itinerary, the emotional chaos of wedding planning spilling into vacation mode, and how stressful it can be when all of your friends from different stages of lives intertwine. between premarital counseling, kosher food tastings, and Pinterest-induced wedding anxiety, she entered Cabo needing a release, and she absolutely got one.because what happens in Cabo… comes back to haunt us in this podcast. from puking and rallying to the now-historic booty-shaking competition win (yes, sandals flying, knees bleeding, all that), the girls take us moment-by-moment through the funniest and most feral 48 hours of Maddie’s life. the Mango Deck saga deserves its own documentary, and we’re giving it the airtime it deserves.but behind the tequila and chaos is the real heart of the episode: girlhood, growing up, and holding on to your friendships as life shifts. we talk about seeing your friends get loved the way they deserve, combining families, outgrowing old versions of yourself, and the fear of realizing the club nights don’t last forever. this episode is feral, emotional, nostalgic, and iconic… a love letter to friendship, weddings, and the bachelorette weekend we’ll be talking about for the rest of our lives.Maddie's socials IG - @maddierichter16TikTok - @queenrichterTimestamps 0:16 - Maddie is back!! 12:48 - The bachelorette 25:02 - Are you a bridezilla  35:15 - Least favorite parts of wedding planning 45:17 - Wedding dress code 50:06 - Working at Jimmy JohnsLinks Clearstem: use code DIARIESHH at checkout to claim your free Hydration Heroes Mini KitUncommon Goods: https://www.uncommongoods.com/podcast/diaries for 15% off uncommongoods.com/diariesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
we need a vacation

we need a vacation

2025-11-2052:32

after two weeks of nonstop travel, Halley and Jaz are finally back! from Maddie’s Cabo bachelorette to the Hero Cosmetics brand trip, BravoCon, Vegas chaos, last-minute hair appointments, and zero sleep, the girls recap every single detail. they talk friendship dynamics on brand trips, meeting creators IRL, social battery burnout, and the universal experience of needing a vacation after your vacation.once home, life doesn’t slow down… the girls dive into TikTok drama: from the viral Hair by Chrissy saga to the debate over kids’ skincare, the Angel Tree controversy, and the internet’s obsession with turning everything into a moral war. they also chat about holidays, honeymoon plans, Meadow Lane grocery store mania, picking wedding guest dresses, and the art of drinking on vacation vs. drinking in NYC when the vibes take over. there’s also talk of growing up, how their timelines for marriage and kids have changed, the importance of independence before motherhood, and whether “never fighting” in a relationship is actually a red flag.of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without a little b**ching hour, some blocks of the week, a rant about TSA stealing hair extension pliers, and haters commenting on pregnancy jokes and eyebrows. the girls wrap up with plans for the Christmas market, Patreon updates, and a reminder that their men now hang out completely by choice… proof that girl friendships really do build communities. Timestamps 0:20 - Cabo then Vegas then LA 9:55 - Thanksgiving plans 14:28 - Big things on the internet 28:01 - Meadow Lane opened 31:27 - How we thought life would play out 32:10 - Fights vs arguments vs conversations 38:57 - Bitching hour 44:09- Christmas market and PatreonLinks Uncommon Goods - uncommongoods.com/diaries for 15% offZocDoc - zocdoc.com/diariesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
we're too old for this

we're too old for this

2025-11-1354:21

it’s another chaotic week on Delusional Diaries! the girls are packing for back-to-back trips, from Maddie’s Cabo bachelorette to a very convenient brand trip that just so happens to be in Cabo. they talk bachelorettes, friend group dynamics, and why mixing people from different chapters of your life is always a wild experiment.from party floors destroyed by heels to the great “SATC shoe debate,” they reflect on their Halloween weekend, the aftermath of too much tequila, and how hangovers hit way harder now, sparking a full conversation about growing out of the “every weekend” phase and choosing soft life nights in over blacking out. they also come to their shared realization that maybe mocktails shouldn’t cost the same as cocktails. the episode takes its usual chaotic turn with a cozy winter rant: daylight savings depression and the girls’ love-hate relationship with the holidays. they get into pop culture deep dives, from Lily Allen and David Harbour drama to People’s Sexiest Man Alive and the celebrity edits they can’t stop watching. by the end, they’re debating whether singers are ever sexy, laughing at actor crushes, and ending on the most unserious note possible: Halley watching football on a plane just to calm her anxiety. it’s unfiltered, funny, and weirdly therapeutic: just two girls overthinking life, love, and pop culture with zero structure and maximum serotonin.Timestamps 0:19 - Not time to be sick 5:18 - Halloween 17:35 - Driving diaries 25:01 - Actors IRL 32:30 - Atlanta for the day 36:59 - Online stalker 38:29 - What do you want to be when you grow up 43:53 - People’s Sexiest Man AliveLinksChime - chime.com/diariesQuince - quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returnsUncommon Goods - uncommongoods.com/diaries for 15% off Wayfair - wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
bidding wars

bidding wars

2025-11-0652:49

after the travel day from hell, Halley and Jaz are back in New York, and they’re back behind the mic to tell the tale. this week’s episode of Delusional Diaries takes you inside their 12-hour flight delay, Detroit detour, and the chaotic mission to make it home in time for their Halloween party. from near meltdowns at TSA to accidentally exiting the airport mid-delay (rookie mistake), the girls relive every delusional moment with unfiltered honesty and way too much laughter.once they finally touch down, it’s back to business: 36 bottles of tequila delivered at 7 a.m., party prep chaos, and a rare beauty event that turned into a bidding war against Benny Blanco (spoiler: they lost). between horror travel stories, spray tan small talk, and gym class trauma, Halley and Jaz unpack the kind of week that makes you question your sanity and still somehow laugh about it.they wrap up with some classic chaos: friendship growth, separate bedrooms in marriage, childhood lies, and the eternal debate: do you ever really “go to bed angry”? it’s the perfect mix of airline rage, emotional regulation, and delusional girl therapy. buckle up (literally), this one’s turbulence from start to finish.Timestamps 0:17 - Travel day from hell 15:20 - A short trip to LA 22:38 - The NYC Marathon 28:35 - Light sleepers 32:10 - Relationship questions and winter uglies 39:55 - Dress codes 43:09 - Our biggest lies as kids Links Uncommon Goods: https://www.uncommongoods.com/diaries use code diaries for 15% off Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It’s Halloween on Delusional Diaries… which means cheap wigs, chaos, and way too many confessions. Halley and Jaz kick off the episode dressed as the Timothée Chalamet x Pete Davidson SNL duo, spiraling about bedside manner, Yelp reviews, and why bad Amazon wigs might actually be a cursed tradition at this point.From Jaz’s Bottega meltdown in Madrid (and the boldest “move forward” gaslight ever) to Halley’s questionable life choices that somehow always work out in her favor, the girls are in their unfiltered storytelling era. They’re talking eating dog treats out of desperation, blocking trolls with “almond daughter” usernames, and why sharing snacks with your boyfriend should be considered psychological warfare.Then it’s Halloween nostalgia, space cowgirl flashbacks, and a few hot takes about certain activities in the shower, bad costumes, and the “stay in for your future husband” pick-me epidemic. Whether you’re getting ready to go out tonight or staying in with a bottle of wine, this episode will have you laughing, cringing, and texting your best friend mid-listen.Timestamps 0:20 - Happy Halloween from yours truly 4:02 - Bitching hour 11:40 - Standing 10 toes down 22:13 - Jaz’s limo and birthdays27:26 - The block of the week 33:16 - Reading and other hobbies 37:40 - All things Halloween 48:27 - The Halloween party LinksWayfair: wayfair.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
not our truth

not our truth

2025-10-2344:24

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz unpack a rollercoaster of chaos: from mourning a literal sauce that was discontinued to a rundown of their time at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show pink carpet. this episode mixes glam & the chaos of the real world like never before, showing that at the end of the day, we all go through the same things, despite our differences.the girls then switch gears to other territories: fitness routines and solidcore playlists. between botox updates, home renovations, and pink carpet glam, Halley and Jaz reflect on how surreal it is to be front row at a fashion show one minute and crying in an elevator the next. that’s real life, and they’re not sugarcoating any of it.they wrap the episode with some tough-love advice for a listener whose best friend can’t stop obsessing over her ex. the verdict? you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. This episode is chaotic, comforting, and so them… the kind of episode you’ll want to have playing while you do your skincare or spiral on the couch. Timestamps 0:16 - The day started off good… 2:22 - Fast food reviews 7:12 - Our first dates with Reed & Kevin9:06 - The VS Fashion Show 26:23 - Halley’s new purchase 32:55 - Newest insecurity36:10 - Botox and babies 39:40 - Advice to our follower LinksDime Beauty - DimeBeauty.com and get 20% off your first order with code PODCAST20Winx - hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% offwayfair  - wayfair.com DISCLAIMER: Part of the recorded Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show segment in this episode is presented in partnership with VS PinkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
out of principle

out of principle

2025-10-1601:02:20

after some tough days separated from each other, this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are back and as unfiltered as ever: kicking things off with workout confessions, liposuction ultimatums, and the anxiety-inducing chaos of showing up late to a class for the first time ever. between accountability pacts and post-gym soreness, the girls dive into the unglamorous side of “getting it together” while keeping it real (and hilarious) about body image, burnout, and self-motivation.then, things get storytime-level juicy: Halley recaps her dreamy trip across London and Copenhagen, complete with vintage shopping, hotel surprises, and airport drama that had her going to war (verbally) with line-cutters. Jaz shares her TSA horror story and why sometimes principle is all that matters, while both reflect on love, long-distance friendship, and more…rounding it out, the girls get chatty about Kris Jenner’s facelift, the return of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and the never-ending New York winter blues. from AI conspiracies to apartment glow-ups and kitchen haters, it’s a full catch-up episode of chaos, confidence, and everything you could dream of: the ultimate comfort listen for anyone who loves a good rant, a little delusion, and a lot of laughter!Timestamps 0:16 - Jaz’s confession7:05 -  The most amount of time we ever spent apart 14:04 - The flight back and airport horror stories 27:10 - Hypotheticals 33:04 - Winter scaries 35:37 - Block block block 45:22 - Bitching hour47:13 - Face lifts and VS Fashion Show 50:45 - Childhood jealousy LinksChime - Open an account in 2 minutes at chime.com/diariesWinx - hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% off Cash App - use code “THATSMONEY10” , and get $10 dropped into your account when you order and activate your Cash App Card and send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 daysDownload Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Wayfair - wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Halley and Jaz are back on the couch and kicking off with a classic b**ching hour, and this one gets personal. after an awkward follower encounter at the grocery store turns into an unsolicited reddit recap, Jaz opens up about how far she’s come in setting boundaries with online chatter, and how quickly a stranger can send her spiraling back into old habits. from the weirdness of parasocial relationships to realizing how exhausting constant public perception can be, the girls talk anxiety, attention, and why sometimes it’s okay to say “I don’t owe anyone a response.”the chaos continues as Jaz discovers the power (and curse) of coffee, and the duo spiral into caffeine-induced madness. between late-night hangouts that accidentally turn into 3 a.m. adventures, sensory phobias of bumpy pumpkins, and fall weekend recaps, it’s peak Delusional Diaries energy, a little bit manic, a little too honest, and somehow still therapeutic.but it’s not all rants and pumpkin panic, Halley’s prepping for a dreamy Europe trip through London and beyond, Jaz is plotting a honeymoon redo after her first attempt, and both are reflecting on independence, relationships, and what it means to actually grow up online. by the end, they’ve covered everything from medical insurance meltdowns to squishmallow basements: proving once again that delusion, some b**ching, friendship, and a good laugh can fix just about anything.Timestamps 0:22 - Starting with a Bitching hour 6:36 - Jaz and coffee13:30 - Biggest phobias 15:07 - Upcoming plans 29:24 - Relationship attachments 39:41 - Jaz’s honeymoon & Delta points 46:02 - And ending with Bitching hour Links Nuuly: code delusional for $28 off your first month nuuly.comWayfair: wayfair.comWinx: hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% off Quince: Quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returns See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
single vs. taken

single vs. taken

2025-10-0255:27

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are back with the full rollercoaster of chaos, starting with skincare gone wrong, brutal hangovers, and a weekend that tested both of them in very different ways. from dinner disasters at BondST and open bar temptations at Danielle’s birthday party to the unplanned detour that landed them at a club until 3 a.m., the girls recap every messy, hilarious detail. whether it’s falling asleep in Ubers, being gaslit about their location, or surviving on cookies, nothing is off-limits in this episode.in between the laughs, the girls get real about health, healing, and the weird seasons life throws at you. Halley opens up about her continued journey with an autoimmune disease, steroids, and IV treatments, sharing the frustrating side effects, the weight changes, and the challenge of finding stability while staying optimistic. together, the girls navigate what it means to balance wellness with wanting to live life fully, reminding listeners that even in the hard moments, humor and honesty go a long way.rounding out the episode, Halley and Jaz dive into everything from underwear revelations and blocking negativity online to reflecting on the “mystery” of being single versus the stability of relationships. they laugh about their timeline of friendship, plot out solidcore challenges with Birkin bets, and even debate whether Jaz’s moving obsession is just a love for having projects. this episode is delusional, it’s dramatic, and it’s deeply relatable; the perfect mix that we know you love in an episode of our podcast.Timestamps 0:18 - New products & hangovers6:54 - The whole night 16:47 - Friday night 21:37 - Bitching hour 29:44 - What we miss about being single 37:58 - Maybe a hobby 45:30 - Upcoming trips Links Winx: hellowinx/delusional for 25% offHeadspace: Headspace.com/delusional to unlock free for 60 days Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
pain is pain

pain is pain

2025-09-2501:00:18

Halley and Jaz are finally back on the couch after a whirlwind couple of weeks, and this episode doesn’t hold back. Halley shares the full story of her week-long hospital stay after a brutal ulcerative colitis flare-up that left her in constant pain and doubting herself. from gaslighting her own symptoms to finally realizing she needed urgent care, she opens up about the mental toll of chronic illness, the long nights in the ER, and the fear of potentially losing her colon.the episode balances heavy and hilarious as Halley recounts absurd hospital moments: nurses melting plastic into her food, the fight for a private room, and doctors giving her conflicting diet advice. Jaz keeps the energy steady, while also finding humor in the chaos. together, they highlight what it’s really like to navigate a health crisis, from anxiety spirals to unexpected gratitude when the right medication finally works.but it’s not all hospitals and IV drips. as the besties dive back into their usual blend of life updates and pop culture chatter: golf trips to Wisconsin, moving drama, TikTok spirals, Kylie Jenner lip combos, and the possibility of seeing Justin Bieber headline Coachella. it’s an episode that feels raw, real, and ridiculous: a mix of health diaries, best friend therapy, and the kind of unfiltered chaos that makes Delusional Diaries your favorite.Timestamps0:17 - Back on the couch  1:04 - Halley’s hospital visit 20:24 - Getting gaslit30:35 - For the pod only 40:02 - Coachella, lip liners, & Lizzie McGuire44:46 - Dancing with the Stars week 1 52:34 - Hair journey & our favorite productsLinks DraftKings: code DIARIESNuuly: code delsuional for $28 off your first monthQuince: quince.com/delusional to get free shipping and 365 day returnsWayfair: wayfair.comWinx: hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% offSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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