Relational Lives Podcast

In this episode, Ali and Ros explore what it really means to take accountability in relationships — or, as they put it, to “own your own shit.” They unpack how recognizing the impact of our actions and reactions can transform the way we connect with others, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or at work. Using everyday examples — including the classic disagreement over how to load the dishwasher — the hosts reveal how small moments often reflect deeper patterns in communication and understanding. Ali and Ros also dive into the discomfort that comes with facing our own shortcomings and the defence mechanisms that can get in the way. They remind listeners that accountability isn’t about self-blame; it’s about awareness, empathy, and learning to respond rather than react. With practical tools and honest reflection, they offer ways to break unhelpful cycles and build stronger, more supportive relationships grounded in honesty, growth, and mutual respect. ✨Perfect for anyone interested in understanding the taking of accountability, being self reflective, having better communication, relationship dynamics, and partnership. Chapters: 00:00 The Importance of Accountability in Relationships 06:35 Understanding Impact and Self-Reflection 14:24 Defensiveness and Shame in Communication 14:33 Understanding Defensive Behaviours and Accountability 16:26 Navigating Shame and Rejection in Relationships 17:35 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Acknowledgment 20:07 Normalizing Human Imperfection and Accountability 24:24 Effective Communication and Validation in Relationships 28:14 Owning Your Defensiveness and Seeking Growth We want to hear from you: What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)? Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics? Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists? Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend! Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio

In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the connections between the sexual cycle and the relational cycle, offering insights into how emotional and physical intimacy mirror one another. They explore the distinction between responsive and spontaneous desire, how attachment patterns influence sexual connection, and why communication is at the heart of a satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion also touches on cultural expectations around sex, the challenges of mismatched desire, and how understanding each partner’s experience can help couples build renewed closeness and vitality in their relationship. 📍 Resources mentioned: Relational Lives previous episode on Negative relationship cycle: https://youtu.be/qfDFwVSH5sU?si=O5ZzfQsFm-nTNrCe Spontaneous or Responsive Desire TED talk by Emily Nagoski: https://youtu.be/lon25Nc1Vx8?si=-jhXJi81K1XGloVW   Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Sexual Cycle 02:53 Understanding the Dynamics of the Sexual Cycle 05:39 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire 08:33 The Role of Emotional Connection in Sexual Intimacy 11:16 Exploring the Cycle of Desire and Rejection 13:55 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Sexual Relationships 16:35 Influences on Sexual Dynamics 19:30 Addressing Sexual Trauma and Its Effects 22:15 Navigating Health and Aging in Sexual Relationships 25:14 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Cycles 27:58 Conclusion and Future Discussions   We Want to Hear From You What did you love most?   What should we do more of (or less)?   Topics you want:  Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics? Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists? Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT Connect with us  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!  Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.   Disclaimer Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.  Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits   Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk   Music by: Stile Tree Studio    

In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the mental load in relationships – the invisible emotional labour of planning, organizing, and remembering that often falls on one partner. They explore how this uneven cognitive and emotional load creates resentment, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy, while the other partner may feel criticised, confused, or like they can never get it right. Ali and Ros look at how relationship dynamics, communication styles, gender roles, and family and cultural backgrounds shape who carries the mental load at home. They invite listeners to recognise common patterns in couples – the over-functioning partner who “keeps everything in their head” and the under-functioning partner who waits to be asked – and how these cycles keep both people stuck. The conversation offers practical, therapist-informed strategies for sharing the load more fairly, improving communication in couples, and making the invisible work visible. Ali and Ros also encourage couples to use 2026 as a turning point to reset expectations, build healthier boundaries, and create more balanced, sustainable partnerships. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sharing the Load in Relationships 01:31 Understanding the Mental Load 04:55 The Dynamics of Carrying the Load 09:28 The Impact on the Non-Load Carrier 10:34 Exploring the Negative Cycle 17:35 The Long-Term Effects of the Cycle 18:14 The Shift from Adult to Parent-Child Dynamics 19:35 Influences on Relationship Dynamics 21:25 Understanding ADHD and Task Management 22:30 The Impact of Upbringing on Responsibility 25:00 Anxiety and Performance in Relationships 26:51 Life Events and Relationship Dynamics 28:06 Understanding the Cycle of Conflict 30:33 Exploring Internal and External Dynamics 33:17 Challenging Expectations and Finding Solutions 36:02 From Carrying to Sharing the Load   Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio

Join Ali and Ros for a raw, heartfelt, and unscripted conversation as they look back on eight months and over 30 episodes of Relational Lives. In this special episode, the hosts pull back the curtain on their journey — from the shock of going viral on Shut Up & Talking (160,000+ views!) to building a podcast from scratch, all while navigating friendship, vulnerability, and the realities of being two women in their 50s in the digital world.   They reflect on standout guests (like Caz’s powerful journey to embracing single life), explore how recording together has triggered old patterns, and share the moment one host bravely called out a “pedestal” dynamic — and how they repaired it. With warmth and honesty, they discuss what’s worked, what hasn’t, and why they’re pausing the podcast to regroup, recharge, and listen to YOU.  This isn’t just a recap, it’s a real conversation about growth, repair, and walking the talk of relational therapy.  Plus, they’re asking: What did YOU love? What should we do more of? Less of? (Sex and intimacy? More casual chats? Bring back “Would You Rather”?)  Your feedback will shape Season 3.   Timestamps   00:00 – Welcome: Why This Episode Feels Different   00:30 – From Zero to 30: How It All Began   01:00 – The Viral Moment: Shut Up & Talking (160K Views!)   01:49 – The Younger Generation’s Mental Health Awareness   02:49 – 30+ Episodes in 8 Months: The Numbers   03:26 – Being 50+ in a Gen Z Podcast World   04:05 – “Mum, I wouldn’t watch you because of your age”   05:11 – Caz’s Story: Losing Yourself in Relationships   06:20 – Other Guests That Moved Us   07:30 – When Friendship Meets Therapy: The Pedestal Moment   40:57 – Calling It Out: Courage & Repair   41:43 – “The trouble with pedestals…”   42:54 – Catching Triggers Early: Walking the Talk   43:50 – Why We’re Pausing: Regroup, Recharge, Listen   44:19 – What’s Next? Sex, Intimacy & Your Ideas   45:11 – Feedback Wanted: More Chats? More Guests?   45:58 – Bring Back “Would You Rather”?   46:23 – Thank You & See You in Season 3 We Want to Hear From You  What did you love most?   What should we do more of (or less)?   Topics you want: Sex? Intimacy? Parenting?   Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT Connect with us  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!  Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.   Disclaimer Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.  Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits  Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk   Music by: Stile Tree Studio   Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio (Thanks, Paul!)

For a decade, RED (Rise Every Day) January has inspired thousands to move more, feel better, and support one another through the darkest month of the year. Now, it’s taking a bold new step forward — and it starts with you.  Join the nationwide warm-up to RED January 2026 at redjanuary.com.   Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for an inspiring conversation with Hannah Beecham, founder of Red January, as she shares the deeply personal story behind this life-changing initiative. Born from her own family’s battle with depression — watching her mum struggle through the winter blues and finding solace in simple side-by-side walks — Hannah reveals how a single act of connection sparked a global movement. At just 29, she turned helplessness into hope, creating a challenge that’s now helped countless people rise every day with gentle movement, community support, and real behavioral change.  From its evolution to a community interest company to exciting new research on its impact, this episode explores why January — with its short days and post-holiday slump — needs a splash of red more than ever. Whether you’re signing up for 2026 or seeking motivation now, Hannah’s journey is a reminder that small steps, shared stories, and self-compassion can light the way through the toughest seasons.   Timestamps   00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Hannah Beecham   01:06 – What is Red January? Rise Every Day Explained   02:34 – The Inspiration: Hannah’s Mum’s Battle with Depression   04:45 – Family Walks: Finding Connection Side by Side   06:20 – Turning Helplessness into Action: Starting the Challenge   07:59 – The First January: Small Goals, Big Impact   10:00 – Evolution from Daily Runs to Flexible Movement   11:18 – Why January? Tackling the Darkest Month   13:10 – Behavioral Activation: Science Behind the Movement   14:43 – Winter Blues, Christmas Pressures & Red’s Role   16:06 – Community Power: Sharing Stories and Support   18:00 – Red January Today: A Community Interest Company   20:00 – New Research: Measuring Real Change   22:00 – Global Reach: Anyone, Anywhere Can Join   24:00 – Advice for Getting Started: Motivation When It’s Hard   26:00 – Pets, Family & Everyday Wins   28:00 – Future Plans: Advocacy and Expansion   30:00 – Hannah’s Journey: From Personal Pain to Purpose   32:00 – Mum’s Legacy: Walking Together Still   34:00 – Call to Action: Sign Up for 2026   36:00 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways Sign Up for RED January 2026: https://join.redjanuary.com/ (Free to join, set your own movement goal) Connect with us  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics.  If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Disclaimer Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.  Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits  Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk   Music by: Stile Tree Studio   Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio  

Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for a deeply moving conversation with Julie Russell, who shares the tender and inspiring story of her son Fraser, born with a rare life-limiting genetic condition. From the shock of his diagnosis hours after birth to the profound care provided by their local children’s hospice, Julie reflects on the joy, love, and support that defined Fraser’s two short years.   With music therapy at the heart of their journey, she highlights how it brought connection, comfort, and celebration of life, even in the face of loss. Now, Julie and hospice music therapist Vicky have co-edited a powerful book amplifying family and practitioner voices in paediatric palliative care.   This episode is a heartfelt reminder to live fully in the moment and honour every life, however brief. Have tissues ready, this is a story of love, resilience, and legacy. Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome & Honouring Fraser’s Story 02:01 – Julie’s Journey: Fraser’s Diagnosis at Birth 04:31 – From SCBU to St Thomas’ NICU: A Terrifying Start 06:15 – Bonding Through Crisis: “I Just Needed to Be With Him” 08:36 – Discovering the Children’s Hospice: A Turning Point 11:28 – Music Therapy: Building Connection and Joy 15:29 – Family Life at the Hospice: Sibling Support & Normal Moments 18:00 – Celebrating Fraser: Birthdays, Christmas, and Love 22:43 – The Final Days: A Peaceful, Supported End of Life 27:32 – Grief, Legacy, and Staying Connected to Fraser 36:26 – The Book: Collaborative Voices in Music Therapy & Palliative Care 40:11 – Why Family Stories Matter in Paediatric Palliative Care 43:34 – Co-Editing with Vicky: Honouring Lived Experience 46:02 – The Power of Music Therapy: Life-Changing for Families 47:57 – Closing Reflections: A Good Life, A Good Death 48:32 – Thank You & Call to Action Connect with us Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Links to the book: Music Therapy in Children’s Palliative Care Collaborative Family and Practitioner Voices https://tinyurl.com/5n833vtd: https://amzn.eu/d/83U3jqJ https://tinyurl.com/3ybk3bbw https://julesrussellillustration.co.uk/ - Jules Russell Illustrations   Disclaimer Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives as we sit down with Philippa Smethurst, author of 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma, to explore the complex world of trauma and recovery. Inspired by the varied responses to the pandemic, Philippa shares her insights on trauma responses beyond fight or flight, using powerful metaphors like the trauma thermometer and jam jars to explain how overwhelming experiences can shake us up like a Coke bottle. From the isolating nature of trauma to the hope of post-traumatic growth, she offers practical strategies—like breathing exercises and self-compassion—to help release the “fizz” of trauma. With references to her book’s tools, including the “Trauma Kit” and stories like the Japanese kintsugi bowl, Philippa highlights how small steps can lead to resilience and healing. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand and navigate trauma with clarity and hope.   Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Philippa Smethurst 01:14 – Inspiration Behind 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma 02:22 – Understanding Trauma Responses: Beyond Fight or Flight 04:00 – The Trauma Thermometer: Too Much and Too Little 06:26 – The Coke Bottle Metaphor: Trauma’s Lasting Fizz 08:36 – How Trauma Distorts Relationships 10:38 – Judging Trauma Responses: A Common Pitfall 13:23 – The Brain Under Trauma: Overwhelm and Disconnection 16:13 – Strategies for Healing: Releasing the Fizz Slowly 22:43 – The Role of Self-Care in Trauma Recovery 27:32 – Philippa’s Breathing Exercise for Calming the Nervous System 36:26 – The Long Haul: Patience and Faith in Healing 40:11 – Post-Traumatic Growth: The Kintsugi Metaphor 44:27 – Practical Tools: The Child’s Slide Breathing Exercise 46:06 – Keeping On: Small Steps for Big Change 47:24 – Compassion and Self-Care: The Heart of Recovery 49:15 – Stories of Resilience: Terry Waite and Post-Traumatic Growth 50:58 – Philippa’s Book and Resources for Healing 51:55 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways Follow Philippa Smethurst YouTube: https://youtube.com/@philippasmethurst Newsletter: https://philippasmethurst.com/news#contactform Order 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma: https://philippasmethurst.com/bookshop (Currently £13.79 on Amazon) Blogs: https://philippasmethurst.com/news | https://talkingtrauma.substack.com/ For This Episode Trauma Thermometer: A visual tool to understand trauma responses, from the “red zone” (hyperarousal) to the “blue zone” (hypoarousal). View image: https://drive.google.com/file/d/19MDNHPnfI5Y4k5xIrGGGTGvfOJOmTV7a/view?usp=drive_link Jam Jars Metaphor: From Appendix 2 of 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma, illustrating how trauma accumulates and can be processed. View image: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1e5gbchTdzR1wRTI7Psazw0J_v_zaNebD/view?usp=drive_link Margaret Forster’s Over: Referenced as an illustration of incident trauma. View book cover: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qk9pusrufnj_3vm-SuyKuhoLhDTmfjCj/view?usp=drive_link Breath Practice (p. 37, Chapter One): “Breathe in for a count of four, out for a count of seven, or use the child’s slide technique: inhale through your nose like climbing small steps, then exhale long through your mouth.” 20 Pathways to Resilience and Recovery After Trauma: A visual guide to the strategies in Philippa’s book. View image: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bXQbyBkpHenI0zG7wV84FpHRUgmumRYj/view?usp=drive_link Trauma Kit: “In a medical trauma kit, you may find a stethoscope, needles, a trauma blanket, gloves, scissors… but what might we need in a psychological trauma kit? Because trauma is often hidden inside, we need an even wider array of self-help, and other kinds of help - one size does not fit all. Philippa Smethurst’s new book is your go-to handbook.” View image: https://drive.google.com/file/d/17hSkDG9KHgxtl2fdllXMnnEmi5gtHK_W/view?usp=drive_link Book Cover: Front cover of 20 Ways to Break Free from Trauma. View image: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xmN3LI8Lga1LINDUCrrHxFZN-D3ol7JG/view?usp=drive_link Connect with us Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Disclaimer Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

Join hosts Ali and Ros on Relational Lives for a heartfelt follow-on from our autism episode, as we welcome Rose, who shares her inspiring journey of being diagnosed with autism at 15.  From early signs like shying away from eye contact as a baby to navigating meltdowns and masking in secondary school, Rose opens up about the challenges of sensory sensitivities, emotional overwhelm, and finding her place in a neurotypical world. She reflects on the transformative impact of homeschooling, counselling, and embracing her passion for working with children in a nursery. Rose encourages self-compassion and openness, offering hope to anyone exploring their own autism journey.  This episode is a must-listen for those seeking to understand autism through a personal lens, filled with resilience and practical wisdom. Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Rose 01:19 – Rose’s Autism Journey: Early Signs from Infancy 02:56 – Developmental Delays and Misconceptions About Autism 05:07 – Secondary School Struggles: Meltdowns and Masking 07:11 – A Turning Point: Autism Awareness Day at School 09:07 – Navigating the Diagnosis Process: NHS and Private Routes 11:28 – The Impact of Autism on Family Dynamics 13:38 – Emotional Blockages and the Power of Counselling 15:29 – Homeschooling: Finding Freedom in Intensive Interests 18:00 – Building Self-Awareness and Confidence 22:43 – Sensory Sensitivities: Managing Bright Lights and Noise 27:32 – Rose’s Career: Thriving in a Nursery Environment 36:26 – The Support of Family: A Mother’s Understanding 38:23 – Connecting with a Neurodivergent Cousin 40:11 – Living Independently: Controlling Her Own Space 42:00 – Workplace Support and Managing Masking 43:11 – Strategies for Self-Compassion: Journaling and Cheerleading 44:39 – Finding Balance Through Hobbies: Clay and Watercolour Painting 45:35 – Advice for Others Exploring Autism 47:07 – Rose’s Message: “Don’t Diss Your Ability” 48:19 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways   For This Episode:  National Autistic Society: Learn more about autism and support services https://www.autism.org.uk/ Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/   Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode.  Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT.  We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.  Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

Join us on Relational Lives as we welcome back Dr. Graham Campbell from Flint Healthcare in Sussex to dive into the world of autism in adults.  Dr. Graham unpacks what autism spectrum disorder is, debunking myths about its presentation and exploring its core traits, from social communication challenges to sensory processing differences. He discusses why autism is often missed in women due to masking, the complexities of diagnosis, and the mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, that can accompany undiagnosed autism.  With warmth and expertise, Dr. Graham shares practical advice for those wondering if they might be on the spectrum, emphasising the power of self-understanding and acceptance. This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about autism, its impact, and how to navigate it with compassion. Resources Mentioned: https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/ https://embrace-autism.com/cat-q/ https://open.spotify.com/show/1f9iLg1OLTqphlx9EQKSZv https://flinthealthcare.co.uk/ Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Dr. Graham Campbell 01:17 – What is Autism Spectrum Disorder? 02:39 – The Foundations of Autism: A Neurodevelopmental Perspective 04:00 – Gender Differences: Why Autism is Often Missed in Women 06:39 – The Rise in Adult Autism Awareness 07:55 – The Diagnostic Process: Screening and Assessments 10:38 – Sensory Processing: Hypo- and Hyper-Sensitivity 12:06 – Stimming and Individual Differences in Autism 13:23 – Social Challenges: Navigating Relationships and Communication 15:12 – Masking: The Exhaustion of Hiding Autism 16:13 – The Self-Critical Voice and Shame in Autism 24:56 – Co-occurring Conditions: Anxiety, Depression, and Eating Disorders 27:32 – The Value of Diagnosis: Understanding, Not Medicalisation 29:56 – Seeking a Diagnosis Without Medical Records 33:42 – Autism and Work: Challenges and Strengths 36:23 – Advice for Those Exploring Autism: Learn and Reflect 38:33 – Would You Rather? Fun Quickfire Round 40:56 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways   Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/  Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma?  Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT.  We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics.  If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

Join us on Relational Lives as we sit down with Jason ‘Wip’ Roberts, who shares his heartfelt story of navigating childhood abandonment and finding belonging. From his biological mother leaving at age four to the shock of his stepmother’s departure in his 20s, Jason opens up about the persistent void that shaped his life. He reflects on how the 90s rave scene provided a sense of community, how his travels embraced the familiar feeling of being “lost,” and how meeting his wife, Katie, became his anchor at 30. With humour, wisdom, and a touch of silliness—including a song from his famous shed—Jason discusses overcoming emotional barriers, the courage it takes to talk openly as a man, and building a family that feels complete. This episode is a moving exploration of resilience, connection, and self-discovery, perfect for anyone seeking to understand their journey through loss and love. Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Jason ‘Wip’ Roberts 01:18 – The Weight of Being a Deep Thinker 02:10 – Childhood Loss: Jason’s Mother Leaving at Age 4 06:04 – A New Family with His Stepmother & the Shock of Her Departure 09:35 – Embracing the Feeling of Being “Lost” in His 20s 13:15 – Finding Belonging in the 90s Rave Scene 18:00 – Meeting Katie: Finding an Anchor at 30 22:40 – The Void of Loss & How It Persists 28:15 – Jason’s Humour: A Silly Song from the Shed 31:27 – A Recent Loss: Finding Closure After His Mother’s Passing 33:18 – Therapy & Making Sense of Childhood Wounds 36:22 – The Courage to Talk: Breaking the Stigma for Men 39:51 – Jason’s Shed: A Creative Haven of Escapism 41:28 – Would You Rather? Fun Quickfire Round 43:38 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways  Follow Jason: Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/   Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio    

Join us on Relational Lives as we sit down with Will Adolphy, a psychotherapist, educator, and speaker who specialises in men’s mental health and masculinity.  Will shares his powerful story of navigating panic attacks, depression, and the pull of online masculinity influencers during his early 20s. From finding validation in rigid ideologies to discovering healing through therapy, community, and self-reflection, he opens up about the challenges of emotional isolation and the “man box” that shapes how men experience the world.   This conversation is raw, honest, and full of insights—covering vulnerability, the impact of online culture, and how Will now helps boys and men find healthier ways to connect with themselves and others through his organisation, Empath. Whether you’re curious about men’s mental health or seeking tools to navigate your own relationships, Will’s journey offers a path to understanding and growth.   Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Will Adolphy 02:10 – Will’s Early Struggles with Panic Attacks & Depression 07:45 – Discovering a Masculinity Influencer & Online Rabbit Holes 12:20 – The Pull of Validation & Rigid Ideologies 18:00 – Emotional Isolation & the Block to Opening Up 22:40 – Breaking Free: Therapy, 12-Step Recovery & Community 28:15 – The “Man Box” & Its Impact on Men and Others 33:10 – Working with Boys: Modelling Vulnerability in Schools 40:05 – Red Pill Culture & the Search for Answers Online 47:30 – Advice for Parents: Supporting Boys with Empathy 52:20 – Will’s Ongoing Journey & Building Empath 55:30 – Would You Rather? Fun Quickfire Round 57:00 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways   Follow Will: @psychwill  https://www.willadolphy.com/   Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/   Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us, and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.  Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment, and more mental health topics.  If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.   Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

Shownotes: Episode: Happily Single: Cas on Freedom, Healing & Living Life Her Way Cas joins us on Relational Lives to share her inspiring and often funny story of choosing to live happily single. From navigating breast cancer and surgical menopause to finding freedom, independence, and joy, she reflects on relationships, compromise, and why being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. This conversation is full of laughter, honesty, and wisdom - touching on family, friendship, child-free living, adventure, and the importance of creating a life that feels true to you. Whether you’re single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Cas's story is a reminder to embrace life, live it fully, and define happiness on your own terms. In this episode: 00:00 – Welcome & Introducing Kaz 02:10 – Choosing to Be Single After Breast Cancer 07:45 – Discovering Peace & Joy in Independence 12:20 – Compromise, Overgiving & Relationship Lessons 18:00 – Freedom vs. Loneliness: Breaking Social Expectations 22:40 – Life Without Children & Finding Fulfillment as a Godparent 28:15 – Adventures, Travel & Loving Independence 33:10 – Childhood, Family Influences & Fear of Feeling Trapped 40:05 – Healing from Trauma, Grief & PTSD After Cancer 47:30 – Advice for Younger Women on Relationships & Choices 52:20 – Embracing Adventure, Contentment & Living Fully 55:30 – Would You Rather? Fun Quickfire Round 57:00 – Closing Thoughts & Takeaways Follow Cas @danceyertitsoff https://www.instagram.com/danceyertitsoff Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.  Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.   Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio"

Shownotes: Episode: From Trauma to Triumph | Jamie Rudd on Inspiration and Healing In this powerful episode of Relational Lives, Jamie Rudd shares his journey of surviving a near-fatal car accident, the trauma and recovery that followed, and how he transformed his experience into SoulKind - a storytelling and community project inspiring hope through adversity. This is a moving conversation about resilience, optimism, vulnerability, and the healing power of stories. In this episode: 00:00 - Welcome & Introduction to Jamie Rudd 01:10 - The 2018 Car Accident 05:40 - Acts of Kindness: The “Superheroes” Who Saved Jamie 10:15 - Injuries, Hospital & ICU Experience 15:20 - Optimism, Determination & Early Recovery Mindset 20:05 - Learning from Other People’s Stories 26:30 - Vulnerability, Acceptance & Growth 33:00 - Creating SoulKind: From Book to Non-Profit 40:10 - Walk the Ways Fundraising Challenge 45:20 - Closing Reflections & “Would You Rather” Resources mentioned: SoulKind: https://www.soulkindpeople.co.uk/ Walk the Ways: https://www.soulkindpeople.co.uk/walktheways Acceptance & Commitment Therapy: https://contextualscience.org/act Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio"

We’re wrapping up Series 1 of Relational Lives and taking a short two-week break. Thank you for joining us on this journey so far - it’s been amazing! 🎉 Series 2 will be even more exciting, with more guests and real-life stories to inspire and encourage you. If you’d like to share your story, get in touch at relationallives@gmail.com Stay subscribed, and we’ll be back very soon on 11th September. Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros take an honest, practical look at Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). They unpack what OCD really is and explore how intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and emotional distress interact. Ali explains different subtypes of OCD, how therapy can help, and offers hope to anyone struggling. Whether you’ve lived with OCD for years or are just beginning to question your thoughts and behaviours, this episode is packed with understanding, reassurance, and practical steps forward. Please note that this episode covers harder aspects of OCD including paedophilia OCD and harm OCD Shownotes: Episode: OCD: What It Really Is - And How Therapy Can Help In this episode: 00:00 – Intro 02:08 – What Is OCD? Obsessions, compulsions & misunderstandings 09:14 – Is It OCD or just a quirk? 13:37 – The role of trauma, control & childhood experiences 16:20 – Taboo thoughts & shame in OCD 23:36 – Types of OCD 30:00 – How therapy works: CBT & ERP explained 36:17 – Challenges in treatment: Internal rituals, resistance & EMDR 42:20 – Client stories & self-help recommendations 43:04 – 3 takeaway tips & thought experiments 📍 Resources mentioned: 'Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' by David Veale and Rob Wilson British Association for Behavioural & Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP): https://www.babcp.com Therapy types mentioned: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP), EMDR Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Relational_Lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, we take a deep dive into the reality of toxic relationships - how they differ from unhealthy ones, the warning signs to look out for, and why even strong, self-aware people can find themselves trapped in them. We explore behaviours like gaslighting, love bombing, manipulation, coercive control, and isolation, as well as the underlying psychological dynamics that keep people hooked. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, family member, or even in the workplace, understanding toxic dynamics is the first step toward reclaiming your power. If you or someone you know is in a relationship that feels harmful, this conversation could make a difference. Shownotes: Episode: Toxic Relationships: How to Spot the Signs and Protect Yourself In this episode: 0:00 – Introduction & what makes a relationship toxic 1:06 – Recap: healthy vs unhealthy relationships 3:12 – The food analogy: unhealthy vs toxic 6:28 – Narcissism: traits vs personality disorder 9:45 – Gaslighting explained with example 15:20 – Why people stay in toxic relationships 20:42 – Manipulation, coercive control & love bombing 26:18 – How toxic behaviour erodes self-esteem and creates shame 30:50 – Isolation tactics & “walking on eggshells” 35:12 – Childhood patterns, boundaries & first steps toward change 📍 Resources mentioned: Episode on healthy relationships: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-3suv8-188c4bd Episode on unhealthy relationships: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-b4zgq-191258e Episode on the inner critic: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-p5jy5-18625d5 Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore the three most common conflict styles that show up in relationships: blame-blame, attack-withdraw, and withdraw-withdraw. With warmth, insight, and lived experience, they help listeners identify their own patterns, understand the emotional drivers underneath, and reflect on how these cycles affect connection. Whether you argue loudly or shut down silently, this episode will help you make sense of what's really happening between you and your partner. Shownotes: Episode: Conflict Styles: How You Fight & Why It Matters In this episode: 00:00 – Intro: Why conflict styles matter 03:00 – Blame–Blame (Attack–Attack) Style: Fact wars & emotional explosions 11:40 – What’s really going on under the blame game 14:15 – Pursuer–Withdrawer Pattern: A one-sided fight for connection 20:50 – The still face, shutdowns, and how withdrawal fuels escalation 27:40 – Text message tension: Modern conflict and emotional distance 30:10 – Withdraw–Withdraw Style: The silent disconnect 34:30 – Is no conflict really a problem? When disconnection feels safe 38:15 – How to recognise your style & what to do with it 42:32 – 3 Takeaway Tips + 'Would You Rather' segment 📍 Resources mentioned: 'Hold Me Tight' by Dr. Sue Johnson (book + online course0 Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) - Therapy model underpinning the conflict styles Still Face Experiment by Dr. Edward Tronick – Referenced during the withdrawal discussion Understanding attachment styles: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-xwpd3-186c726 Negative relationship cycles: Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Relational_Lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros dive into the concept of negative cycles in relationships - the invisible patterns we fall into when things go wrong with our partners. Whether you’re a “pursuer,” “withdrawer,” or locked in blame–blame dynamics, this episode breaks down what’s really going on beneath the surface. Using relatable examples (including that infamous dishwasher debate!), they explain how these emotional loops are driven by vulnerability, attachment, and unspoken needs. With practical metaphors like the “infinity loop” and the “main floor vs. basement,” Ali and Ros offer insights that can transform how you relate and repair. Whether you're in a long-term relationship or reflecting on your own patterns, this is essential listening for building connection, safety, and understanding. Shownotes: Episode: The Negative Relationship Cycle You Need to Know In this episode: 00:00 – Introduction & why understanding negative cycles matters 04:08 – The Infinity Loop: How couples get stuck 08:10 – Pursuer–Withdrawer Cycle: The dishwasher example 14:03 – Why we react the way we do: emotion beneath the behaviour 19:42 – Blame–Blame Dynamics (Find the Bad Guy cycle) 23:55 – Two Withdrawers & the danger of disconnection 29:40 – When cycles are quiet but still painful 32:05 – Raw Spots: Our emotional triggers from the past 38:00 – How to begin breaking the cycle: Self-awareness & repair 42:26 – 3 Takeaway Tips + 'Would You Rather' segment 📍 Resources mentioned: The Infinity Loop: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_xski0fK11JTfN2CLYndjsucJqYxZ_Z3/view?usp=drive_link Understanding Attachment Styles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmAoZfhTbTc Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – framework referenced throughout Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Relational_Lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore a vital question: "Am I in an unhealthy relationship?" Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even a business partnership, this conversation helps you identify the subtle yet damaging signs of unhealthy dynamics. From emotional disconnection and conflict avoidance to people-pleasing and shutdown behaviours, Ali and Ros unpack what these patterns mean and how to begin addressing them. Drawing from emotionally focused therapy, this episode offers practical examples and three takeaway tips to help you reflect on your relationships and take meaningful steps toward repair. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship dynamics are helping or harming you, this is a must-watch conversation. Shownotes: Epiosde: Am I in an Unhealthy Relationship? In this episode: 00:00 - Intro 01:05 - Why talk about unhealthy relationships? 02:30 - What's the difference between unhealthy and toxic relationships? 04:00 - Signs of unhealthy relationships 05:15 - Sign #1: Not being able to calmly discuss difficulties 07:40 - Sign #2: No repair after conflict 10:00 - Sign #3: People-pleasing & ignoring your own needs 12:45 - Sign #4: Shutting down or stonewalling 15:10 - Sign #5: Indifference or unintentional neglect 17:30 - Sign #6: The negative cycle explained 21:15 - Sign #7: Lack of trust or emotional safety 24:00 - Understanding what you bring into relationships 26:00 - How to start repairing unhealthy dynamics 29:00 - Sharing the episode as a starting point for discussion 30:00 - Resources to help without therapy 31:10 - 3 Takeaway Tips (incl. journaling prompt) 📍 Resources mentioned: 'Hold Me Tight' by Dr. Sue Johnson (book + online course0 Still Face Experiment by Dr. Edward Tronick Understanding attachment styles: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-xwpd3-186c726 The fearful avoidant attachment style: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-npv9y-18e4e79 Healthy relationships: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-3suv8-188c4bd Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Relational_Lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio

In the second Dear Therapists episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros respond to two powerful listener letters, offering comfort, validation, and gentle reflections for those navigating emotionally complex relationships. Letter 1: This dilemma from a listener explores the painful question of whether it's okay to end a friendship over racist and anti-immigrant comments. Letter 2: This letter shares the emotional weight of living in a home overshadowed by trauma, silence, and a father’s unpredictable anger. If you've ever struggled with loyalty versus boundaries, or found yourself stuck in a difficult home environment, this episode is for you. Shownotes: Episode: Dear Therapists: Boundaries, Beliefs & Family Struggles | Listener Dilemmas In this episode: 00:00 – Introduction 00:43 – Letter 1: Is it okay to end a friendship over politics? 03:00 – Politics vs. personal identity 06:00 – Boundaries, beliefs & losing a friend 10:00 – Changing friendships in early adulthood 13:14 – Letter 2: Walking on eggshells at home 15:23 – Trauma, silence & cultural complexity 18:15 – Surviving a difficult home environment 22:00 – Finding support outside the home 25:30 – Final words to our letter writers Resources mentioned: 📍 Domestic violence and family trauma support (check local services or charities) Previous episodes on: Understanding Anxiety: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ghvvi-1852bb6 Understanding Gen Z - A Cross-Generational Chat: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-qpewe-18a1acc Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Relational_Lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at relationalives@gmail.com or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. Subscribe for future episodes on OCD, trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend. Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio