Older & Wilder

Aging Out of Fucks: Midlife Brain ShiftsJoy and Claire discuss upcoming travel and Claire shares enjoying runs guided by a British-accented DJ coach, switching her weightlifting to evenings for convenience, and the great on-ear headphones review. They talk about Joy's Santa Fe anniversary trip and a Big Thief concert with incredible people-watching and praise for lead singer Adrianne Lenker’s musicianship. They then unpack Ellen Schur’s “Aging Out of Fucks,” linking midlife hormonal/neurological changes to reduced people-pleasing, less self-censorship, energy prioritization, authenticity, and social stigma around women being “difficult.”00:00 Welcome and Drinks Chat01:25 Needy Dogs Take Over04:27 Dog Boarding Moab Dilemma06:53 Travel Plans Florida Trip07:44 Night Workouts and Running09:56 Sleep Guilt and Chronotypes16:05 Running Gear and Pop Culture17:38 Santa Fe Anniversary Concert20:01 Haircut Appointment Drama21:33 Aging Out of Fucks Explained31:57 Work Filters and Authenticity38:28 Wrap Up and Goodbye

Estate Planning Part 2: Wills, Trusts, LGBTQ Families, and Picking the Right Attorney (with Zach Anderson)Joy and Claire welcome back Zach Anderson for a Part 2 focused on listener questions. He explains how to “fire” an attorney, how attorneys may withdraw from clients, and what to look for in a divorce lawyer—especially communication, proactivity, and balancing negotiation with litigation costs. The conversation covers confirmatory/stepparent adoptions in reciprocal IVF situations, legal barriers for trans birth-certificate sex changes requiring surgery in Nebraska, and how legal change often comes through private practice. Zach defines guardianships and conservatorships, stressing planning to avoid burdening others. They compare wills, trusts, and transfer-on-death deeds, emphasize updating beneficiaries, and offer ways to start estate-planning conversations with parents.00:00 Welcome Back Zach02:02 Quadplex With Friends04:00 Neutral Third Parties05:25 Firing Your Attorney09:09 Divorcing An Attorney10:37 Choosing Divorce Counsel16:10 Reciprocal IVF Adoption19:47 Trans Name Change Barriers24:15 Changing Law From Within25:56 Doing Good Doing Well26:57 When Cases Escalate27:27 Costs and Client Counseling30:32 Guardianships Explained31:34 Moral vs Legal Duty36:02 Wills Trusts and TOD Deeds37:36 Beneficiaries and Special Needs40:55 Custom Plans Not Templates42:59 Unequal Inheritances Talk It Out45:31 How to Talk to Parents47:19 Messy Now or Messier Later51:36 Wrap Up and Where to Follow

Joy and Claire catch up after Joy’s birthday weekend, which included friends, cupcakes and IKEA closets. They discuss decluttering excess clothes and shoes and Scott’s “optimization” impulse leading him to gift Claire Shokz open-ear running headphones. Updates include a permitted Arches hike, an upcoming Santa Fe anniversary trip to see Big Thief, quick-fire Q&A on small purchases, fitness and running, Bake Off podcast plans, recharging tips, brow products for thinning brows, and excitement for Halloween and an Elizabeth Holmes documentary; Ilona Maher likes their Instagram post.00:00 Welcome Back Birthday Haze01:05 Magnesium Sleep Wins01:56 New Closet Delivery Day03:04 Watching The Delivery Grind05:36 DIY Drawers And Frames07:29 Dimitri The Tasker09:41 Meet Gino Handyman Hero13:17 Closet Costs And Clutter16:05 Decluttering Shoes And Sales18:03 Running Influencer Headphones19:57 Scott Wants To Optimize21:45 Small Ears Tragus Problem22:48 Scott’s Headphone Obsession24:48 Ilona Maher Likes the Post25:31 Arches Permit Hike Recap27:27 Machu Picchu Family Bits28:27 Santa Fe Trip and Quickfire29:05 Under $50 Favorites30:10 Fitness and Running Plans31:56 Bake Off Podcast Returns33:08 Ghost Haunting Picks34:21 Recharge and Brow Tips36:54 Tiny Joys and Fall Treats39:06 Wrap Up and Where to Find Us

Joy Turns 49, Lila's Release, and Midlife Mindset ResetsOn Joy’s 49th birthday episode of Older and Wilder, Joy and Claire reflect on years of podcasting, privacy in the internet age, and September nostalgia. Joy shares a major update about Lilas. They discuss the emotional toll of puppy raising, current dog life with River, Haynes, and new puppy McCoy. Joy talks about recent body dysmorphia, balancing rest vs pushing through, nervous-system reset, training for a Moab trail race, and Delia’s nostalgia at Target.00:00 Birthday Kickoff00:57 Privacy And Cybersecurity03:26 Manitou Birthday Plans04:10 September Nostalgia05:56 High School Sports Memories07:33 Gary Amber And Pella10:34 Leela Released From Training13:07 Adopting Leela To Friends18:04 Puppy Raising Reality Check20:28 Dog Quirks And Car Chaos24:55 McCoy The Prom King Pup26:26 Hormonal Body Dysmorphia27:41 Posting Versus Talking30:53 Breaking Restriction Spirals32:39 Fitness Influencer Pressure36:07 Rest Versus Hustle38:45 Nervous System Reset Hacks40:25 Rules for Real Recovery45:57 Bougie Gym Master Plan47:33 Moab Trail Race Prep50:23 Delias Target Nostalgia52:25 Wrap Up and Goodbye

Zachary Anderson on Building a Queer-Affirming Nebraska Law Firm and the Estate Planning Basics Everyone Needshttps://www.zandersonlaw.com/whozacharyisJoy and Claire welcome back Zachary Anderson, a law attorney in Nebraska, to discuss his firm’s rapid growth since launching in April 2025 and his recent recognition including the Nebraska State Bar Association Diversity Award, an ABA Family Law Section fellowship, and being a top-three finalist for a Clio award for Best New Law Firm. They focus on reducing fear around legal planning, especially estate planning, and Zach outlines “bare minimum” documents. He also notes guardianship nominations and extra protections for same-sex couples. He explains the consequences of having nothing in place and warns against cookie-cutter online services, discusses typical cost ranges, and strongly encourages using a corporate fiduciary instead of family as executor.00:00 Welcome Back Zach!02:20 Why Start A Firm03:32 From Struggle To Growth05:39 Building A Misfit Team11:03 Holistic Family Law17:06 Listener Questions Begin19:24 Estate Planning Basics29:12 Costs And Online Wills37:01 Helping Aging Parents38:55 Executors And Recordkeeping46:10 Normalize Hard Conversations48:02 Finding The Right Attorney50:59 Where To Find Zach51:43 Wrap Up And Next Episode