You're Not Too Much

This episode is sponsored by The Brand is Strong. Created by Franchesca Ramsey, The Brand Is Strong is a 3-part, self-guided online course that draws on her 20-year career as a content creator with billions of views across social media in addition to writing/producing/acting credits ranging from MTV, Comedy Central, Paramount+, NBC and the Oscars. The course covers riding trends for growth, scripting for shareability, building a sustainable social strategy and more! To learn more, visit: thebrandisstrong.com I have been humbled.My youngest came into my office at 9:30 at night doing the ugly cry, so I scooped her up and started carrying her up the stairs. About halfway up, I realized I could not walk the rest of these steps carrying this child. My knees were about to give out.So I put her down, and through her sobs she said, "Mom, I told you you need to exercise more."Who but your own child?Also: my oldest has her first proper crush, and it's Legolas. Every girl in my high school was obsessed with Legolas, so I get it. My youngest is still marrying Mario. And somebody I know moved into their house in the year 2000, which was apparently 26 years ago.Then on Ask L2, a listener's company wants everyone back in the office five days a week, and they did their best work from the couch with the lights off. Fight it, suck it up, or quit?My honest answer: return to office is deeply ableist, and I would fight it tooth and nail. Then the practical part: what to ask HR, and how some companies use RTO as an unofficial layoff.00:00:43 Back down to Earth with the quickness00:02:02 The ugly cry00:02:57 A very small being of smallness00:03:28 There were stairs involved00:04:23 "Mom, I told you you need to exercise more"00:05:00 Eating humble pie00:05:18 Her first proper crush00:05:44 The password00:06:05 Now everyone else is dead to her00:06:17 Ryder from PAW Patrol? Don't bring him in my house.00:06:49 Every girl in my high school00:07:11 Strictly fictional Legolas00:07:53 My youngest is still marrying Mario00:08:24 "Ugh, Mario always does that"00:08:47 Zillow used to be relaxing00:10:31 Somebody I knew was selling their house00:11:10 Friends, they moved in in 200000:11:43 We were told all our banks were gonna close00:12:02 Still 16 and scared00:12:28 Ask L2: back in the office five days a week?00:12:47 The measured response, or the honest one00:13:23 Asking for an accommodation00:13:57 You've already been doing it from home00:14:32 I would fight it tooth and nail00:15:03 Shoes off, contorted into a pretzel00:16:03 The distractions come from inside my own brain00:16:58 What to say to HR00:17:23 RTO as an unofficial layoff00:17:48 Eyes wide openMore at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemailMentioned in this episode:The Brand Is StrongThe Brand Is Strong - https://thebrandisstrong.com

This episode is sponsored by ParentAgent. Founder Barbara Ballard spent twenty years in UX and still missed her own kid's early dismissal. So she built ParentAgent. It reads the school and activity email and hands you the list — school, camp, sports, both kids. It doesn't train on your family's data, doesn't sell it, and you can delete all of it. It’s free to start, at parentagent.io/L2.I was people watching at a hotel breakfast when a whole family came down.Everybody had a little pink on their cheeks. Everybody was clearly covered in sunscreen. Except the mom, whose back was so red it looked painful to the touch.Somebody made sure that everybody else at that table had the right amount of sunscreen. And literally no one there had her back.It's called invisible labor for a reason. Nobody sees you doing it. But that doesn't mean it isn't happening.So, women are not superheroes. If you are calling a woman a superhero, it is because you are not also taking the time to ask her what she needs. Stop being impressed. Take something off her plate.Also: I made my favorite drink at home, saved $57, and now I need a $150 ice machine.Then on Ask L2, a listener asks whether infinite love, finite space applies to people who pay her. You're allowed to have boundaries with everyone. Including your boss.00:00:53 Two trips, one weekend00:01:40 The best Coke I've ever had in my life00:02:11 A big family or a donkey00:02:53 Everybody had sunscreen00:04:18 Everybody except her00:04:58 Nobody had her back00:05:12 It's called invisible labor for a reason00:05:29 That's not a vacation. That's a trip.00:05:50 Stop being impressed. Take something off her plate.00:06:47 She has a partner00:07:31 Women are not superheroes00:07:59 If you see a woman doing it all00:08:15 I found a drink I really like00:08:58 Why does a $16 salad taste better?00:09:51 Proper hydration for the first time ever00:10:30 Sonic Ice00:11:35 Do I spend $150 to save money?00:12:30 The cheap ones get moldy. Delicious.00:13:09 Internet, do I need an ice machine?00:13:25 Ask L2: infinite love, finite space, at work?00:14:02 Boundaries at work are important00:15:28 You can love them and hold a boundary00:15:54 What you're allowed to say00:16:30 I felt bad that I didn't feel bad00:17:09 Your job shouldn't be about love00:17:26 How could you have hives if you've never had bees?More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

My youngest has a vocal stim.She yells meep.Happy? Meep.Frustrated? Meep.Too much energy and nowhere to put it? MEEP. Top of her lungs. Directly into her sister's face.It's about half her vocabulary right now.And I love it.So when someone told her I was only saying I love it to make her feel good?Excuse me.Have you met me?Here's the thing. One day she's going to stop meeping, and I'm going to be really sad about it.So stop harshing her meep mellow.P.S. If your kid has a stim that drives everyone else up the wall but quietly turns your whole heart to mush — this one's for you.

This episode is sponsored by ParentAgent.Founder Barbara Ballard spent twenty years in UX and still missed her own kid's early dismissal. So she built ParentAgent. It reads the school and activity email and hands you the list — school, camp, sports, both kids. It doesn't train on your family's data, doesn't sell it, and you can delete all of it. It’s free to start, at parentagent.io/L2.Content note: this episode talks about consent, sexual assault and abuse. It also contains strong language.Shane Gillis hosted SNL for the third time and said women at the gym dress like whores now.On SNL. During a national conversation about consent.So, can we please stop trying to make Shane Gillis happen?No matter what a woman wears, she was not asking to be assaulted. If you tell women to change their clothes so they don't get assaulted, you are saying assault is the understood byproduct of being a woman. And that's not true.Comedy is supposed to be funny. I've heard jokes that are offensive to me that I still understand are funny to other people. This wasn't funny. This was classifying 50% of the population as a literal slur.And when it's just a joke is the defense? That's an abuse tactic. Every abusive man has used it to gaslight a woman about the degrading thing he just said. You're not overreacting. You are reacting to the fact that somebody just said something shitty.Then on Ask L2: a listener has six "can I pick your brain" coffee invites this month and wants to say no without being the villain. You're never the villain for having boundaries. And you lift while you climb.Stay to the end for the password. It's 867-5309.00:01:01 Shane Gillis - The charisma of a wooden spoon00:01:45 Getting sued by David Letterman would be an honor00:02:09 Can we please stop trying to make Shane Gillis happen?00:03:24 The conversation we're having right now00:04:03 There should be no question00:04:19 Assault is not a byproduct of being a woman00:04:39 A stupid time to say this thing00:05:08 Why haven't you been to a gym in that long?00:05:27 You're a comedian. You're supposed to be funny.00:05:49 Not banned from SNL00:06:41 Do we remember his origin story?00:07:18 Without the usefulness00:08:03 A thousand ways to tell that joke00:08:46 "This is just comedy"00:09:17 This wasn't funny00:09:28 Why does he keep getting the stage?00:10:41 Edgy for the sake of being edgy00:11:13 Why I keep showing up here00:12:34 Add the neon short shorts to cart00:12:59 Let's go be undesirable00:13:30 We don't do it for your gaze00:13:49 Why "it's just a joke" is an abuse tactic00:14:33 You're not overreacting00:15:25 Ask L2: six "can I pick your brain" coffeesIf something in this episode hit close to home:RAINN, 800-656-HOPE (4673) or online.rainn.org ·National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788.More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com ·Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

This episode is sponsored by ParentAgent. Founder Barbara Ballard spent twenty years in UX and still missed her own kid's early dismissal. So she built ParentAgent. It reads the school and activity email and hands you the list — school, camp, sports, both kids. It doesn't train on your family's data, doesn't sell it, and you can delete all of it. It’s free to start, at parentagent.io/L2.I’m gonna say something that’s going to shock everyone listening.I went to a three-day event. By myself. On an airplane. With a bunch of strangers.And I really freaking enjoyed myself.I’m painfully introverted. Usually three days of peopling leaves my social battery so drained that I’m never talking to another human again. This time I came home tired, but the good kind.Here’s the thing. It was a room full of health tech founders who have been where you are and know the way out. Nobody bragged about their successes. We talked a whole lot about failures. No judgment.Also, I was so hyperfocused on my to-do list in the hotel lobby that I almost walked face first into Kevin Durant. I didn’t recognize him. It was like seeing a fish on land.Then on Ask L2: a listener runs a one-person business, hasn’t taken a week off in three years, and is starting to resent the thing they built to get free. Where do you even start?Do as I say, not as I do. Turn your freaking phone off.Chapters00:00:00 Cold open00:00:31 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much00:00:45 Brace yourself00:01:25 I really freaking enjoyed myself00:02:00 Are we sure this is New Jersey?00:02:54 Fancy food and one coconut cheesecake00:03:47 Invigorating, not exhausting00:04:17 People who have been where you are00:05:01 Reentry whiplash00:06:15 Nobody suspected I never wear shoes00:06:40 Counting backward00:07:45 Two hours of hyperfocus in the great room00:09:17 Wait, strangers just start conversations?00:10:02 A very tall man on the stairs00:11:39 Like seeing a fish on land00:11:57 "You saw Kevin Durant?"00:12:42 The guests who wouldn’t check out00:13:31 What else did I miss?00:14:55 Ask L2: no week off in three years00:15:54 Turn your freaking phone off00:16:50 The false economy of never resting00:17:43 All I want is to not be needed00:17:58 Nothing will fall apart in one week00:18:31 Love you, mean itMore at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail