Dead Money w/ Dan Arfin

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It's not 9/11 anymore, but I share a little bit about what it was like for me, when I was 16. Then I think some more about how good it is to be a poker player since you can take hours off whenever you want. And then we hit some hand histories from a late Saturday afternoon into the evening. Was a short session with a lot of uncomfortable spots, but quite a bit of faith was restored as well. You see a ton of nitty regs these days in Las Vegas. Some are better than others, but altogether, these guys cannot play. So apart from the times it's all setup on a tee for them, there's a lot of advantages to be gained over them.

Been running bad for what feels like a hell of a lot longer than it's actually been. And my play has been not helping one bit in far too many spots. I'm getting depressed and burnt out again. And go figure that the saddest sappiest sounding episode I've ever record comes when I finally hit the century mark milestone. I'm searching for a solution. I can't stand the fucking DB PLO bomb pots they run every 30 minutes now at every goddam room now except the Wynn. The games have been torturously boring so I've been thinking about switching to a night schedule. But that seems a longshot because I never stick to a schedule to begin with, since who the hell wants to do that? And an overnight schedule is the hardest one to keep on top of it. So I'm tilted, bored, aggravated, and worst of all sick with my play that appears to be suffering from all of this. I'm feeling damned if I do and damned if I don't. When I'm not playing I get FOMO. And when I show up I want to shoot myself. And I've barely even lost anything! That's the sickest part. That tells you just how worn out poker has left me feeling again. And it's been on and off for a while now. This game is very demanding and I think every 4-6 years or so I just start to lose interest completely from wear and tear. And especially when you consider how things went the final 6 months of last year. OMFG. That was the type run that alters both a person's mindset AND what type of role they want poker to play in their life. The type of run that heavily influences their entire career trajectory. But things change constantly and things change fast. So who knows? Maybe one or two big winning days happen and I feel good as new again. But that could also be a long way off. And even if does happen, it may only provide temporarily relief before I want to jump in front of a train again a week later.But the good news is I can take as long as I need to sort this out. Still, I always feel productive about a day when I play poker no matter how I feel before, during, or after the session. And I suppose that's the most important thing of all...maybe.

I've been trying to get myself back from a long break post WSOP, except getting hours in are proving to be quite difficult because the games are either terrible or I have been getting murdered left and right in the sickest ways when they're great. And on top of it, I also seem to be fucking up at a way higher frequency than I can ever remember. So I am just the nut low of all nut lows every which way. I either get it wrong in a million small medium spots, or when THEY get it DEAD WRONG in just about EVERY big spot like they've been doing for decades, they win. So like I say, I just might be the worst. But you know something, it's actually quite liberating when you simply accept that because now at least you can't go any lower and all expectations of yourself because you already know you're a completely utterly helpless and useless piece of shit.

Firstly, go check out my interview on The Poker Zoo Persuadeo Dean Martin podcast. I spoke with Chris Murray for close to an hour and had a blast talking to him. He is a great host.Secondly, I'm back in at the Wynn 2/5 and picking up right where I left off from my most recent session which was running like total dogshit. I also can't tell if I'm playing pretty good or if I am playing absolutely horrible these days. Mistakes happen just about every session. That of course is fine. But I'm feeling like whatever I do is wrong. When I bet big I should bet small. When I bet small I should bet big. When I'm passive I should be aggressive. When I'm aggressive I should be passive. There's variance built in just to the decisions you make, but I don't know...I feel like something is wrong with me. Either way, here are the hand history highlights from the last couple of sessions.