The Men's Mental Health Podcast

Josh reflects on hitting rock bottom and the process of rebuilding his life with greater honesty, purpose, and self-awareness. Together, they explore the ways men often learn to perform strength while avoiding vulnerability, why authenticity can feel risky, and how recovery often requires more than simply stopping destructive behavior—it requires becoming a different kind of man.The conversation also moves into territory men do not always enter with one another: fear, shame, identity, emotional honesty, relationships, responsibility, and the tension between who we think we are supposed to be and who we actually are.Rather than rejecting masculinity, this episode asks what a healthier and more grounded masculinity can look like when men are willing to tell the truth about themselves, take responsibility for their lives, and have conversations that go deeper than the surface.Topics include: masculinity, hitting rock bottom, addiction and recovery, authenticity, vulnerability, identity, emotional honesty, personal responsibility, relationships, and men’s mental health.

Comedian Bill Burr has built much of his career around frustration, outrage, and the absurdities of everyday life. But in a recent interview, he described going to therapy and experiencing a profound change: anger used to feel embarrassing because it reminded him of his father. That realization opens the door to a much bigger conversation about what happens when men begin to understand the emotions underneath their anger.Dr. Bates explores how anger can become part of a man’s identity, why it may feel protective or powerful in the short term, and what it means to become “liberated” from constantly reacting through anger. The episode also considers how family experiences, masculine expectations, emotional awareness, and maturity can reshape a man’s relationship with anger over time.Rather than treating anger as inherently bad, this episode examines how men can learn to understand it, use it constructively, and develop a wider emotional range.Topics include: anger and masculinity, emotional regulation, fathers and male role models, restrictive emotionality, emotional awareness, personal growth, and men’s mental health.

What does it actually mean to be a man—and how do our ideas about masculinity shape men’s identities, relationships, and mental health?Dr. Smiler discusses why masculinity is far more complex than a simple collection of traditional male norms. Drawing from his Multifaceted Masculinity Framework, he explains four important dimensions of masculinity: the criteria men use to define masculinity, the ways men experience manhood as an achievement, the different types of men and masculinities they may identify with, and the ongoing negotiations men make between cultural expectations, personal values, relationships, and everyday realities.The conversation also explores what this means for counselors and other mental health professionals working with men. Rather than approaching masculinity primarily as something problematic that needs to be corrected, Dr. Smiler discusses the importance of understanding men's experiences from their own perspectives, recognizing their existing strengths and values, and helping men develop healthier and more flexible ways of navigating manhood.Andrew P. Smiler, PhD, is a psychologist, author, educator, and licensed therapist whose work focuses on boys, men, masculinity, relationships, and male development. He has published more than 20 peer-reviewed academic articles and has written extensively about how masculinity is defined and experienced as well as boys' dating and sexual development. He is a past president of the Society for the Psychology of Men and Masculinities.His newest book, Clinical Work With Men: Understanding Masculinity in Psychotherapy, provides clinicians with a framework for understanding male clients from the inside out—examining men's identities, values, strengths, and experiences rather than beginning from the assumption that masculinity itself is pathological.Andrew Smiler's WebsiteAndrewSmiler.comBooks and ResourcesAndrew Smiler — Books & VideosClinical Work With Men: Understanding Masculinity in PsychotherapyA clinical guide for therapists seeking to better understand and engage male clients, including discussion of the Multifaceted Masculinity Framework and several common masculine identities or “types.”Clinical Work With Men — American Psychological AssociationThe Masculine Self, 7th EditionAndrew P. Smiler & Christopher KilmartinA comprehensive examination of men's lives and masculinity, including emotion, relationships, work, aggression, health, mental health, and male development.The Masculine Self — Sloan PublishingIs Masculinity Toxic? A Primer for the 21st CenturyAn accessible examination of contemporary masculinity that considers both the potential harms associated with masculine expectations and the complexity and positive dimensions of men's lives.Is Masculinity Toxic? — Thames & HudsonDating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen BoyA practical guide for adolescent boys addressing dating, relationships, consent, sexuality, body image, sexual orientation, and healthy decision-making.Dating and Sex — Andrew SmilerChallenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young MaleSmiler challenges the stereotype that adolescent boys and young men are naturally driven toward sexual conquest and examines the importance of relationships, intimacy, identity, and healthy sexual development.Learn more about Challenging Casanova and Andrew's other books

Do you have to be completely self-aware, emotionally articulate, and ready to open up before therapy can actually help? Absolutely not.In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast, we challenge the idea that you need to have yourself—or your problems—figured out before walking into a therapist’s office. In reality, not knowing what’s wrong, struggling to put feelings into words, or simply knowing that something isn’t working can be more than enough reason to start.We explore what therapy can look like when you don't know what to say, why uncertainty is actually part of the therapeutic process, and how a good therapist can help you make sense of thoughts, emotions, relationships, and patterns that may be difficult to understand on your own.You don't need the perfect words. You don't need a diagnosis. You don't need a perfectly defined goal.Sometimes therapy is where you go to figure it out.

What happens when a woman sits down for therapy with a male therapist?In this episode of the Men’s Mental Health Podcast, we flip the usual conversation about gender and therapy. We often talk about what it’s like for men to work with female therapists—but what about women working with men?Gender doesn’t disappear when we enter the therapy room. Our experiences with men and women, relationships, family histories, cultural expectations, and assumptions about gender can all influence how safe we feel opening up to a therapist.For some women, working with a male therapist may initially feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. But it can also create opportunities for new relational experiences, different perspectives, and meaningful therapeutic work.In this episode, we explore:What it can be like for a woman to work with a male therapistHow gender influences the therapeutic relationshipWhether a therapist needs to share your gender to truly understand youThe importance of emotional safety and trust in counselingHow assumptions about men and women can enter the therapy roomWhat male therapists need to understand when counseling womenWhy curiosity may be more important than pretending to completely understand someone else's experienceHow a healthy therapeutic relationship can challenge expectations formed in previous relationshipsWhy the quality of the therapeutic relationship may matter more than simply matching therapist and client demographicsThis isn't an argument that women should see male therapists—or that male therapists are somehow better for women.It's a conversation about what happens when two people with different lived experiences enter the counseling room and intentionally try to understand one another.Good therapy isn't about finding someone exactly like you.It's about finding someone who is willing to listen, remain curious, understand your world, challenge you when necessary, and create a relationship where meaningful change can happen.Woman Tries Therapy with a Male Therapist