Rhythms of Focus

Wandering Minds often blame themselves when struggling with time. Instead of painting "time blindness" as a personal flaw, what if our struggles are a natural response to a world obsessed with rigidly measured seconds—rather than meaningful rhythms?There is more to time than simply the clock. We have our own internal time. Rather than force our own natural time into something it is not, how could we instead find a synchronized, harmonic approach, where have our own while still meeting the world where it is?Listeners will learn:Why the traditional clock can feel like a hostile force—and how to find harmony within its structureHow connecting with nature’s own cycles can restore a sense of attunement and easeThe Lighthouse Technique: a practical method for making transitions and cultivating agency, using moments of decision instead of alarms that startle and shameTakeawaysReframe time struggles as differences in rhythm, not deficitsUse “lighthouse” reminders to gently guide transitions, supporting agency and minimizing stressAnchor productivity in meaningful decisions, not force or alarms—tuning in to the natural waves of focusThis episode features an original piano composition, "Aging" in C minor, which musically explores the unfolding of time and its emotional textures. Subscribe and sail with us at rhythmsoffocus.com to nurture your agency and find your rhythm amidst the waves.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Agency #MindfulProductivity #TimeBlindness #LighthouseTechnique #CreativeFocus #Neurodivergent #RhythmsOfFocus #PersonalGrowthTranscript"Time Blindness" as SymptomI got a thing today at 3pm. I can't do anything until then.Wandering minds such as those with ADHD, often struggle with the clock. So many of our troubles seem to deal with time. Hyper-focused due dates, procrastination, scheduling, dealing with a schedule when life hits and things go awry. Hyper-focused time sink, if not wormhole, fearing that time sink, but then it turns out to be something small.All of these have something to do with time.It'd be easy to point at these difficulties and then call them "symptoms," the word synonymous with "something wrong with you." But what if it's not about being wrong so much as it is about being out of sync with this increasingly artificial structure of time that surrounds us.What even is a "second"?  Let's consider a central unit of a clock for a moment. This idea of time being so important to our lives. The second.The second was first considered as this thing, this entity by a Persian scholar, Al Biruni, around the year 1000, as some fraction of the lunar cycle. It's since been defined and refined to further experientially distant concepts, things further away from us.Somehow in our scientific pursuits, we finally landed on something in 1967. The second was defined as the duration of 9,192,631,770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the Cesium-133 atom. And somehow this fundamental unit of time is how we're supposed to relate to each other.Time is a Matter of NatureWandering minds often do better when in nature. The woods, the beach, the sun, the intense, the calm, all seem to work better within our rhythms there. Nature seems to ease concerns, scatter feelings of being inept, all being replaced with this attunement to the now. This depth of reality, relaxation into being.What's strangely not obvious is that time itself is a matter of nature. It's experienced. Without consciousness, there is no time. Without time, there's no consciousness.Clocks are Human ConstructionsOur culture has adapted, churned, and twisted time to suit itself, much like the rest of nature. We look at...

Discover the secret rhythms that guide a wandering mind—especially when the “energy goes poof.” In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, Kourosh Dini dives into the emotional undercurrents that make lists and to-dos feel overwhelming, unraveling the real reasons our energy fizzles out and motivation slips away. Rather than rigid productivity, explore why tuning in to the present moment—like adjusting the strings of a well-loved instrument—fosters lasting agency and self-compassion for adults with ADHD and wandering minds.Listeners will uncover:The hidden emotional loops that sabotage progress with to-do lists, and how to break them.A practical, mindful approach for tuning choices in real time, empowering daily momentum.Key TakeawaysRevitalize your to-do list by updating it as a living tool, not a harsh judge.Reframe frustration as the start of a conversation with your past, present, and future selves.Treat decisions as “sharpening the ax”—practice tuning your actions to the moment rather than pursuing perfection.This episode features an original piano composition, “Winnie,” capturing the spark of creative beginnings.Subscribe to Rhythms of Focus and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to continue your journey toward agency, mindfulness, and a rhythm that’s truly your own.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #DecisionMaking #ToDoLists #DailyRhythms #SelfCompassion #FocusStrategies #PianoOriginalTranscript The Energy Goes PoofUp in the morning, ready and raring to go. I don't know what I'll do yet, but I've got the energy.I know what I'll do. I'll take a look at my list and just start taking things on. Ah, wait. Here we go. Alright. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I already did that. I, I forgot about that. Oh my goodness. The deadline for that one's. Oh my goodness. It this long pass. This is coming right up. What does this even mean?I am horrible at this.Lemme just go lie down for a second and maybe I'll watch something. It'll come to me. I know. I, I, I'll do something.The energy we once had has now gone poof. What just happened?Approaching a ListOne of the biggest mistakes in managing our lists, our tasks, is about how we approach them.There are many task managers out there. I use one myself, OmniFocus, which I've written a book on, it's pretty darn good if I do say so myself. There's things, there's to doist many, many other possibilities including pen and paper, which I also use. All of these promise in some way or another to help you get things done.And you'd think that this promise is that it's linked to somehow it'll tell you what to do. Just tell me what to do already. You want to look at this thing and just have a way to move forward. Why wouldn't we want that?Decisions are heavy. Have a listen to episode 18 if you're interested in hearing about quite how heavy they can be.But of course, we look at that task manager and it never seems to happen. Instead, even when we've poured our heart and soul into some list, hoping, dreaming that we'll be able to focus where we want to or need to, while everything else patiently waits for us to appear at just the right time. Somehow it doesn't work.We meticulously work on it. We delve into some hyper-focus attention tunnel to make that perfect system itself, this meta productivity of sorts. And once we step away though, there it is falling apart. No matter how well we've curated a list, when we get back to it, there are things on there that are still not done seemingly mocking us. There are things that need to be in a completely different order, uh, things that shouldn't be there until something else happens. The wording of...

Exploring Procrastination, Self-Compassion, and Emotional Management with Dr. Fuschia SiroisIn this episode, we delve into the roots of procrastination with Dr. Fuschia Sirois, a professor of social and health psychology at Durham University, who has over 25 years of research experience in procrastination and its relationship to emotions. The discussion covers how self-compassion can play a critical role in managing procrastination, the impact of societal norms on our productivity, and the importance of addressing emotional responses to improve motivation and reduce procrastination. Dr. Sirois introduces her TEMPO toolkit, designed to help individuals manage procrastination by addressing the emotional causes behind it, providing practical strategies and exercises for better emotional regulation. This episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to understand and overcome procrastination through a compassionate and emotionally intelligent approach.00:00 Introduction: The Mystery of Avoidance01:45 Special Guest Introduction: Dr. Fuschia Sirois02:02 The Procrastination Conference Connection02:36 Understanding Self-Compassion03:51 The Role of Responsibility in Self-Compassion08:46 Cultural Norms and Self-Criticism16:46 Global Perspectives on Self-Compassion27:25 Procrastination and Social Norms Research28:39 Generational Differences in Procrastination29:14 Self-Perception and Social Norms30:07 Financial Procrastination and Its Impact32:26 Introducing TEMPO: A New Tool for Managing Procrastination33:35 Understanding and Addressing Emotional Roots of Procrastination39:59 The Role of Perfectionism and Creativity49:39 Planning, Risk, and Self-Compassion52:02 Defensive Pessimism and Contingency Planning54:41 Conclusion and ResourcesTagsProcrastination, Self-Compassion, Emotional Intelligence, Productivity, Mental Health, Overcoming Perfectionism, Personal Development, Behavioral Psychology, Mindfulness, TEMPO Toolkithttps://fuschiasirois.com/https://durhamuniversity.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJzXFb6SBwNPI46https://www.youtube.com/@fuschiasirois601  Introduction: The Mystery of Avoidance What is it that makes us avoid the thing to do? Is it the fault of social media? Are we inherently lazy? Is there just something wrong with me? Well, what if I were nice to myself? Would that do something, and how could I even do that in some way that I felt genuine? Would that do anything?  Special Guest Introduction: Dr. Fuschia SiroisDear listeners, I've got another special treat for you today. We're joined today by my special guest, Dr. Fuschia Sirois. Fuchsia's, a professor in social and health psychology at Durham University, with over 25 years of research in procrastination and its relationship to emotions.We'd connected actually at the procrastination conference in Utrecht, Netherlands, in the summer of 2025.A lovely city, by the way. Understanding Self-CompassionAt the end of one of the lectures, sitting in the audience, she had made this comment about self-compassion, and that self-compassion shows up in recognizing responsibility, taking it on, and maybe the pain that can come with that. That's where self-compassion really starts to shine. I thought, I get it. This makes sense.So later on that day, I approached her, had a conversation with her, and she really had this way of, um. Recognizing the importance of emotion, not just in procrastination, which is her field of research, but really in who

Ever felt your mind swept clean, like cobwebs brushed away, simply by admiring true craft? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, I invite you to explore how the art of meaningful work—whether in a beautifully designed board game, a shared conversation about football, or the deliberate crafting of music—can nourish even the most wandering minds. We’ll journey into “The Unconscious Mind” board game as a living metaphor for navigating the playful, intricate decisions woven through daily life.You’ll discover:How appreciating and creating craft—and noticing its layers—can provide sustenance and grounding for adults with ADHD or restless focusWhy “the confusion barrier” is a vital threshold in learning and creativity, not a flawNew ways to recognize meaning and resonance in everyday moments, from the symbols on a board to a fleeting improvisationPlus, this episode features an original, never-to-be-repeated piano improvisation: “Morning Bird”—a gentle musical reminder that mastery and play grow together.Subscribe and explore more at rhythmsoffocus.com—reclaim your focus, your rhythm, and your creative spark.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #BoardGames #Mastery #MeaningfulWork #Neurodivergent #PianoImprovisation #ResonanceTranscript Clearing the Mental CobwebsA colleague once told me that when she'd look at a piece of art, she'd feel the cobwebs of her mind swept away. I find the same thing happens when I admire any real craft- a fine meal, an expert dancer's, effortless appearing feats, a well-made fountain pen, drifting across quality paper.All of these we can feel. All carry that depth of play and care brought through time. This practice of bringing the spirits of mastery and meaningful work through some development into a bloom. Particularly for wandering mind, I find that mastery, meaningful work can be nourishing.Football   I was once at a party finding myself in a room entirely full of men. I only say that because you kinda get this feeling of the masculine energy in a room. They were all shouting periodically at a television screen, watching this football game.Now I know the rules of the game. I have a sense as to what's going on, but it's never really turned me on. Last time I watched with any real interest was the Super Bowl, 20 Chicago Bears as the Super Bowl shuffle was playing on the radio near nonstop.Other than that, when I encounter such environments, I generally slink into the corner, maybe look for some task to relieve me like getting a snack or maybe tidying the place up. But if neither of those are available, I wait for the pain of boredom to subside into some world of daydream or solving puzzles that come to mind, or something like that.On this particular occasion, though, things were cleared, dishes were done. I was tired of the gummy beers sitting there, which says a lot.For whatever reason, between those synchronized shouts, I turned to the gentleman beside me. I made deliberate eye contact, not an easy feat, and asked , what do you enjoy about this game?And he paused as I knew he would. You know, it's not often I was aware for someone to ask such a pointed and odd question perhaps. I decided to search for craft. "What do you enjoy about this game?"With a little more than a pause. Maybe sensing that sincerity, he began to talk about the battle on the field, the nuance of strategy, the importance of the individual players and their own histories. He thought about his own relationship with his family and his youth, and how they would share the game together.His excitement was palpable. I enjoyed hearing him out. He'd even lose a couple of seconds in that synchronized shouting as he continued to explain certain moments, seeing that I was there with him. And I could follow and appreciate the beauty that he

Ever feel like your creativity is both a gift and a juggler’s challenge—especially when you’re navigating the winding paths of ADHD or a wandering mind? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we’ll explore how confusion is vital in creativity and how, by embracing it, you can uncover mastery, meaningful work, and joy along your journey.Discover:Why passion is more than a flash of excitement—it’s the steady, nurturing rhythm beneath mastery and meaningful work.The powerful role confusion plays in creative growth (and why learning to “hold” it can lead to breakthrough insights).How daily rhythms of engagement—not rigid productivity hacks—can transform decision overload into meaningful flow.Takeaways:Learn strategies for befriending confusion, using it as a stepping stone rather than an obstacle.Practice the “daily visit” approach to creative work, supporting your mind’s natural curiosity and growth.Recognize moments when play turns into overload, and discover gentle ways to restore clarity and self-compassion.Plus, this episode features an original piano composition—“Flagrant Air Biscuit”—capping off our exploration with musical playfulness.Subscribe to Rhythms of Focus and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more episodes, resources, and inspiration fostering mindful, agency-driven creativity.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Creativity #Confusion #MindfulProductivity #PlayfulFocus #MasteryJourney #MeaningfulWork #DailyRhythms #PianoCompositionTranscriptWhat about Passion? Challenge, interests, novelty, urgency, passion. These are often considered five grounding ideas for a wandering mind as Dr. Dodson once mentioned.But I find that passion is not often talked about. It's about mastery, meaningful work, craft skill, and exploration over time, when we feel that we are developing mastery and meaningful work in our lives, there's a sense of regular engagement, motion, this organizing foundation to our days. It helps bring the inner critic to a quieter place. The seas seem more settled.On the other side of it too, what we create. I think there's a phrase for it, which is "good work". So how do we foster good work?  On Writing a Good BookA listener recently wrote to me about my writing process. He read my book, Taking Smart Notes with DEVONthink. He thought it was a good book. Several people have told me so. If I may be so bold, I think it's a good book, too.So the question then is how do you write a good book? It's really the same question that goes into doing anything you try to do well.My answer, which I gave to this listener and which I liked enough to save for this podcast, was that I dragged notes from DEVONthink, this file management and note management software into Scrivener, this software for writing, and then cut up those notes, rearrange them, look for commonalities between pieces, see if some structure starts to arise, and then realize it doesn't work or it's boring, or I've said the same thing multiple times.I don't know where to cut. The order of parts is plain wrong, and so sometimes I scream, sometimes even internally. Then I go to sleep. Then the next morning, something new comes to mind. I write that material, realize I now have more to cut and edit, scream again, rearrange the stuff, try it all again, sometimes in that order.At some point my internal compass says, dude, that's enough. So I slap a price tag on it, put it up for sale, and have a panic attack, and then you have a book. Sometimes it's a good book.The short answer, however, is that I've learned how to handle confusion. I've learned how to hold confusion, and that is a vital skill for a wandering mind, particularly when you want to find mastery and meaningful work. Good work.Creativity, Play, and the Wandering...

We often focus on “information overload”, but we’re often more caught in decision overload.Discover the deeper reasons behind that compulsive scrolling and indecisiveness, and learn how moments of mindful pause can help you reclaim your agency and bring relief to your wandering mind. Here’s what you’ll uncover: • The hidden connection between decision-making, emotion, and the experience of overwhelm for ADHD and creative thinkers • Why seeking relief, rather than just a dopamine hit, drives compulsive behaviors—and how to channel that toward agency • A practical anchoring technique to hold options in mind and lighten decision fatigue, even in the busiest momentsKey Takeaways: • Learn the anchor technique in brief • Identify the emotional undercurrents behind your toughest choices, rather than blaming “willpower” • Practice settling into silence after considering your options, building the clarity you need to move forwardAnd as always, enjoy an original piano composition, “Veranda,” inspired by the rhythms of thought and the calm that emerges when scattered moments coalesce.For more mindful agency and creative flow, subscribe and join us at rhythmsoffocus.com.LinksResources & Links • Podcast Home: Rhythms of Focus • Waves of Focus Course: wavesoffocus.com • Author: kouroshdini.com • Anchor Technique on YoutubeKeywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #decisionoverload #mindfulfocus #agency #creativity #anchoring #emotionalclarity #productivity #originalmusicTranscript Information vs Decision OverloadWe're not in a state of information overload. We're in a state of decision overload. What does that even mean?Looking for Relief  "Uh, I can't even get off TikTok or Instagram or any of these things."We have so many things coming at us. We're looking at so many different ideas and jumping from one thing to the next, trying to figure out what's the next best thing?Scrolling through our phones, we can wonder, okay, is it dopamine again? And as I've described elsewhere, we tend to use dopamine as this metaphor for those things we can't control, this button embedded somewhere in our brains connected to sex and food, hijacked by present day technologies.But drifting off somewhere into these things that stimulate our minds- it's not new. The internet's just the most readily available latest thing. The ancient game of Go, this fantastic game that dates back thousands of years, once referred to "Go widows", the wives of husbands whose entire days were consumed by the game.Look at a picture of people on a train from years ago, and you'll see most if not all of them, with their faces buried in newspapers. It's not just dopamine. If we stay with that word, we tend to lose meaning. We're not just looking for that quick hit.We're also looking, I theorize here for relief.What from? Relief from decision."Where do you wanna go for dinner? I don't know. Where do you want to go? Can't someone just decide?"Decisions are heavy. It's nicely pointed out by author Charnas, in his book Work Clean, the word "decide" shares its origins with "homicide" and "suicide." The word means to cut. We examine a ball of options and then cut. The decisions quicken when we engage in some related action.This is by no coincidence, quite related to how I define "agency," and you might wanna listen to episode nine for more on...

Have you ever wished a hack or clever trick could spark your momentum—only to watch it fade just as quickly? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we gently unravel why shortcuts can undermine our confidence and how true agency is built on self-trust and mindful practice, not fleeting novelty.Join me as we explore the honest path to sustainable motivation for adults with ADHD and wandering minds. You’ll discover why “faking it” or relying on tricks often sabotages our systems and how deep, rooted confidence grows from repeated, intentional practice. Together, we’ll navigate:- The hidden costs of tricks, hacks, and novelty-seeking in our personal systems- How genuine trust in oneself—not force or self-deception—lays the groundwork for true confidence- The transformative power of embracing gentle, manageable risks as part of everyday growthKey Takeaways:- Recognize why relying on hacks often erodes your sense of agency- Practice building trust in yourself through small, consistent actions (“daily visits”)- Embrace gentle risks as stepping stones to confidence and masteryThis episode features my original piano composition, “Running on the Sun”—a musical frame for the hopeful risks we take in growth.If you find this episode resonates, subscribe and explore more resources at rhythmsoffocus.com. Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #SelfTrust #DailyPractice #GentleRisk #Confidence #Neurodivergent #IntentionalLivingTranscript I just don't feel like it. If I only had a hack, if I had a trick, if I had something novel, a new, something different, that'll, something just gets me to start. Ah, once I start, I'm good.The trouble with these approaches, it's not that they don't work, it's sometimes they do. Ultimately the seeds of the destruction of our systems are there, in the beginning of these sorts of approaches where we've just found some trick. We lead ourselves down some destructive path, something that will eventually fail.Why does that happen? How does that happen? And then what does work?What's wrong with tricks and hacks?What's wrong with a trick or a hack? Why can't we just make these things happen so that we can start and make ourselves work. Well one trouble is that they often rely on some novelty of some sort, and novelty by definition will fall apart. And perhaps we argue so long as we can keep this roulette wheel of novel possibilities around, we'll be good.Okay, look, if that works for you, wonderful. Please go right ahead and do it.The trouble I have though is that I find that trying to trick my unconscious , that part of me that's deep, it doesn't work. It knows already that it's not going to work. Essentially, it goes into this conversation of,"Well, if I somehow manage to trick myself into showing up, chances are I might even do something. And I don't wanna do something, and so I won't even try."So the approach in this way would fall apart immediately.But even in the case that we do succeed in tricking or forcing ourselves, the trouble is that we've effectively told ourselves that we cannot do things without tricks or force. In this way, tricks rot our systems. Trust is FoundationalTrust is the foundation of any relationship, and most importantly, with the relationship that we have with ourselves. Psychoanalyst Eric Erickson notes the first task of infant development is Trust versus Mistrust. We try to know what we can rely on, and that goes well beyond infancy into our everyday world.Trust, as I'm defining it, is a developing belief that something will continue to behave as it has been, such that we can rely on it.As I tend to do, I like to repeat my definitions and I know I've presented trust before, but I'm gonna do it again. Trust is a...

The Power of Doing NothingCould there be power to “doing nothing”? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we untangle the unexpected value of “the visit”—the art of showing up to your work, play, or creative project without any pressure to act. It’s a practice especially vital for adults with ADHD and wandering minds, offering a way to foster agency and mindfulness beyond the rigid mold of traditional productivity.You’ll learn:Why allowing yourself to simply “be” with a task—without expectation—can spark clarity, motivation, and self-understanding.How daily visits help you navigate fear, procrastination, and the deeper emotional storms that influence your focus.Why embracing thoughtful pauses can nudge your creativity and reveal new paths, even in moments of resistance.Key Takeaways:A “visit” to your work strengthens agency and self-compassion, helping you move at your own rhythm.Facing the discomfort of pausing with your project is emotional work—often more powerful than sheer action.True progress begins in the quiet moments between doing—where insight and motivation have space to emerge.This episode features an original piano composition, “Where Did the Table Go?”, Subscribe for mindful strategies and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to explore more rhythms for your wandering mind.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #EmotionalWork #Agency #DailyVisit #FocusStrategies #CreativePauses #RhythmsOfFocus #PianoMeditationTranscriptIntroduction What's the point of doing nothing?I've recommended this approach that we can make to our work where we can sit with it and even not do a thing. I call this a visit, and so when I make this recommendation, I regularly hear a quite understandable question.What's the point of doing nothing?Well, as it turns out quite a lot, and I can get into those reasons, but simply saying that and going through those reasons often isn't enough to make it appealing. In fact, this question, what's the point, can often be a way of avoiding the attempt. It's protecting us from something.It can even act as a proxy for several quite understandable reasons for avoiding what could be a powerful tool in your life.A Visit ReviewedA visit, even more so, a daily visit to some work that you have in front of you, some play that you wanna get into can be an absolute force to be reckoned with -this wonderful unit of work that can guide projects, habits, even developing relationships into fruition at a pace that works for you.I've described visits in some detail in episode four, but in short, they're about showing up to a thing, whatever that thing is, desired, dreaded, and then fully being there without any obligation to doing any of it.We could sit there staring out at the garden. Maybe we nudge it here or there. Maybe we get into a flow, or maybe we walk away without having touched it at all.The important matter is that we're somehow fully there for at least a moment, maybe for a single deep breath.Allowing ourselves to do nothing is not only important, it's absolutely vital. It supports that sense of agency. It's like the difference between being assigned a book to read in school or choosing to read that same book yourself.The Complexity of a VisitWhile a visit can sound simple, it is by no means simple.In fact, it can not only be difficult, it can be dangerous and scary. In this question, "what's the point of doing nothing?" There's a clue in fear. Somehow we'd waste our time. The fear of wasting time is one of wasting life- this existentially awful feeling.What would we gain in taking this chance of being and not necessarily doing?For example, let's say I'm struggling with a school report. If I simply avoid it, I might fail the class. If...

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Dr. Kourosh Dini challenges the limits of “chemistry-only” explanations and explores the deeper rhythms of agency and engagement. Drawing on Dr. Thomas Brown’s vivid metaphor—ADHD as “erectile dysfunction of the mind”—we ask: What if the real key isn’t willpower, but the mindful cultivation of agency and self-trust?Listeners will learn:Why “willpower” is a problematic concept for wandering minds.How agency differs from willpower and why it matters for daily life.The power of “the daily visit” as a compassionate practice to nudge forward on tasks, even when motivation feels absent.How emotional waves and environmental supports can be harnessed to create meaningful engagement.Why practice is more about care than force, and how to honor both present and future selves in the process.The episode closes with a personal reflection on the role of music and meaning, featuring Beethoven’s Pathetique as a metaphor for settling into rhythms of focus.References & Resources MentionedDr. Thomas Brown’s metaphor: (Referenced in the episode introduction.)Instagram post quote: “The ADHD brain isn’t lazy or undisciplined. It’s wired to need stronger stimulation to maintain focus.”Episode 4: Introduction to the “daily visit” practice.Episode 9: Deep dive into the concept of “injured agency.”Episode 14: Previous metaphor of the magnified mind and emotional waves.Karl Haas & Adventures in Good Music: (link) Inspiration for the musical closing and reflection on the power of loving one’s craft.Beethoven’s Pathetique: Featured musical piece at the end of the episode.TagsADHDAgencyWillpowerDaily Visit PracticeEmotional RegulationProductivitySelf-CompassionFocus StrategiesNeurodiversityMusical MetaphorsListener InvitationHave you tried the “daily visit” approach? What helps you nudge forward when motivation is low? Share your experiences or questions by replying to this episode or connecting on social media.Music for this episode: Beethoven’s Pathetique, performed by Dr. Kourosh Dini.For more resources, exercises, and community support, visit the Waves of Focus course page or explore the Letters of a Wandering Mind series.Transcript Open I refuse to believe that any science would tell me I have no free will. The slippery slope of victimhood can plague the science of ADHD Because once again, I've seen the statement."I do not have the interest. Therefore, I could not do it." A Metaphor of ADHD as Erectile Dysfunction Dr. Thomas Brown, an important voice in the ADHD community recently described it as an "erectile dysfunction of the mind." Let me play the clip for you here....

This episode delves into the intricate nature of the wandering mind, exploring the complexities of attention, focus, and the diverse manifestations of ADHD. It challenges the traditional objectivist approach in scientific inquiry, emphasizing the value of human experience, metaphor, and emotion in understanding mental processes. The narrative presents a metaphor comparing the lens of an eye to the lens of consciousness, illustrating how mental wanderings impact focus and productivity. Additionally, it discusses the role of short-term and working memory and the emotional bed of consciousness. The episode concludes with practical insights for managing a wandering mind and a musical improvisation piece that embodies the themes discussed.00:00 Open03:33 An Appeal to Human Experience07:52 A Metaphor of the Eye's Lens11:36 The Lens of Consciousness 15:16 A Return of The Now and Not Now16:02 The Vitality of Emotion18:18 Bringing it Together25:57 An ImprovisationRhythms of Focus – Episode 14 Show NotesThe Magnified Mind: Metaphors for Wandering, Focus, and Emotional DepthWelcome, fellow wandering minds! In this episode, we set sail through the complexities of attention, memory, and emotion—exploring how the wandering mind, so often misunderstood, can be a source of both challenge and creative strength. Below you’ll find references, resources, and further reading to deepen your journey.Key References & Further ReadingADHD, Neurodiversity, and Focus VariabilityADHD Types & Neurodiversity:CHADD: Understanding ADHD TypesADDitude Magazine: ADHD PresentationsScience, Measurement, and Human ExperienceObjectivism in Psychology:E.L. Thorndike and Measurement in PsychologyQuote from Dr. Frank Summers, The Psychoanalytic Vision:Book InformationNeuroscience of AttentionTask Positive Network vs. Default Mode Network:ScienceDirect: Brain NetworksNeurotransmitters & Attention:Verywell Mind: Dopamine, Norepinephrine, SerotoninShort-Term & Working Memory:George Miller’s “The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two”Emotion, Consciousness, and MotivationNeuropsychoanalysis & Mark Solms:Mark Solms, The Conscious IdInternational Neuropsychoanalysis SocietyPractical Tools for Agency...

This episode explores the frustrations of procrastination and task management, particularly when relying on others for reminders. It delves into the emotional cycle of resentment that builds between individuals and suggests a 'visit-based' approach to break free from the endless creation of incomplete tasks. Instead of arguing with emotions, the episode advocates for simply being present with tasks to foster productivity and reduce resentment, ultimately aiming for more aligned and harmonious task completion. The episode concludes with a piece of music titled 'Wooded Hills' in D Minor.00:00 Avoiding a Taskmaster01:45 The Sisyphean Struggle: Why Organizing Feels Impossible with ADHD02:46 The Trap of Outsourcing Agency: “Can You Remind Me…?” and the Taskmaster Effect04:34 Beyond “Feeling Like It”05:22 Wooded HillsTranscriptPicture this: feeling scattered, surrounded by a sea of sticky notes. You ask a friend to remind you to do that one important thing, but when they actually do, you find yourself saying, "well, not now. I'm busy." Suddenly you're both caught in this cycle of frustration and resentment each waiting for the other to make the next move.So what's going on here?  The Sisyphean Struggle: Why Organizing Feels Impossible with ADHD"Hey, can you remind me to do that thing?"Trying to do the dishes, getting the report done, making that important call, it can all feel like some Sisyphean task, seeing the world around us full of incomplete projects. Scribbles on the calendar, post-it notes, all trying to yell past each other as they turn to some vague yellow sea.It's a rare thing for those stars to align. But when they do, you're in it. Well, that is until you're either done or exhausted. And either way, chaos returns as inevitable as it is in our world.So you might reason, you know what? If something's important enough, it'll find me.But when those things arrive, we still not only have some sense of inability, we have that injured sense of agency described in episode nine.When the important thing shows up, unless it's shiny or on fire, some part of us might just refuse lay down and say No, I don't wanna, I can't be bothered. Many other possibilities.The Trap of Outsourcing Agency: “Can You Remind Me…?” and the Taskmaster EffectThen we can have this idea. What if I ask someone to help me, a friend, a loved one.Hey, can you remind me about whatever it is?But then when it comes time for that, someone else to say, Hey, what if you do that thing Now? We might just say,"well, not now. I'm busy, or I'll get to it."Something in us just isn't quite feeling it. What happens here though is that we've just thrown the ball back at the other person who now continues to hold the task. Both you and they have now colluded to create a task master. Worse yet this new task master is now in a position of having to read our mind better than we even know it ourselves.They have to target this often impossible place where we'd feel like it, where our own conscious and unconscious worlds and stars would align in ways that we ourselves don't even know. These positions create resentment. Both in ourselves as we begin to feel them as harassing us and in them who feel that they have to harass us.Whether boss, spouse, parent, child, friend, or otherwise, any relationship- this can happen sadly, often in our most vital relationships. This resentment can build. And importantly resentment's a particularly insidious emotion. Much of it is unconscious. We may try to suppress it because after all, they often love care for feel dependent on us or us on them.How is it that I can feel so angry?How is it they can feel so angry with me?I shouldn't feel this way.Well, making these arguments, I mean, how often has that strategy of arguing with these

I'm taking a break! I should be back in a few weeks (end of July/beginning of August)

Ever find yourself cleaning the closet or deep in a video game while a deadline quietly sneaks up behind you? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we unravel the real story behind procrastination for adults with wandering minds and ADHD. Instead of blaming laziness or lack of willpower, we explore how avoidance can be a form of recovery—and how to gently reclaim your agency.Force-based productivity (deadlines, shame, rigid systems) often backfires for creative, neurodivergent minds. A rhythm-based, visit-oriented approach can help you find meaningful focus. You’ll learn how to move from cycles of exhaustion and self-criticism to a more mindful, compassionate path forward.In this episode, you’ll take away:- Gentle, actionable ways to recognize and shift out of procrastination without shame- How to use acknowledgment and tiny steps to restore your sense of agencyPlus, enjoy an original piano composition, "Three is More" to support your focus and reflection.Subscribe for more episodes and visit rhythmsoffocus.com to join a community that honors your creative mind and helps you thrive—one gentle wave at a time.LinksEpisode 9 - "I Just Don't Wanna" and the Power of AgencyEpisode 11 - An Interview with Dr. Joel Anderson - Philosophy and the Wandering MindEpisode 4 - From Force to Flow with a "Visit"Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #Procrastination #MindfulProductivity #Agency #GentleFocus #CreativeMinds #VisitBased #RhythmOverRigidity #SelfCompassionTranscript  More than Meets the Eye Have you ever found yourself cleaning out a closet right when you know there's something else important you should be doing? Maybe you're playing a video game and that other thing needs to happen.You tell yourself, I'll start soon, but the weight of the task feels heavier every passing minute. Your mind drifts Suddenly hours have slipped by of leaving you feeling a bit guilty, maybe relieved even, or you just start wondering, ah,"it's just me. I'm lazy."But what if there's more to this cycle than meets the eye?A Cycle of Deadlines and ExhaustionThose who rely on deadlines often cycle between frantic work and exhaustion. They find it impossible to move forward without a deadline hounding close behind. Meanwhile, in the collapse that often follows them, they can call themselves lazy. Unable to find some footing forward.But what if avoidance is actually this attempt to recover from exhaustion? Whether it's a period of forced flow or flailing scatter. Procrastination as SurvivalAt first glance, procrastination seems quite different from the relief that danger of deadlines can bring, as I described in episode nine, where you finally know what to focus on. But it's really the other side of the same coin.Exhaustion overwhelms the mind's ability to continually find and fight danger, and so it runs, engaging in this type of flight to survive.It's a bit like turning our head away.If I can't see it, it doesn't exist.Now, why would we ever do that?The unconscious mind is powerful, particularly when we are frightened or depleted.The Many Faces of Avoidance Maybe we lie on the couch, barely able to follow a thought. Maybe we sleep through an important class or meeting. Or maybe we find deep focus elsewhere, cleaning the closet to some near,...

In this extended episode, professional philosopher Dr. Joel Anderson engages in a deep and stimulating conversation about Wandering Minds, ADHD, and Beyond with our host Dr. Kourosh Dini. Discussing philosophical and practical issues around agency, procrastination, and the balance between forcing oneself and creating affording conditions, they explore the concept of 'agentic play,' the importance of creating environments that invite rather than coerce, and the role of emotions in the effort to engage with tasks meaningfully. They question the differences between motivation, effort, and naturally flowing engagement, and consider the implications of removing distractions and setting guiding conditions in a caring manner. The episode ends with reflections on how these philosophical dialogues can shift one's approach to work and life.00:00 Introduction to the Conversation02:33 Joel Anderson's Background 03:48 Diving into Philosophical Concepts05:01 Exploring Agency and Play05:48 Affordances and Environmental Design10:08 Self-Binding Strategies and Productivity17:59 Emotional Work and Hard Labor21:11 Navigating Procrastination and Effort30:21 Meeting Tension with Care30:43 Hierarchical Set of Binds32:50 Facing the Fog of Tasks35:40 Building Trust and Self-Efficacy43:49 Effortless Engagement and Motivation52:52 Listening to Yourself55:09 Concluding Thoughts and ReflectionsLinksDr. Joel Anderson's Inaugural LectureJoel's Home PageNo Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz PhDTranscriptIntroduction to the ConversationI've got a treat for you today. Joel Anderson is a good friend of mine. He's a wonderful guy, brilliant philosopher. He's a professional academic philosopher, even. He's got a way of thinking things through in a way I truly admire. Every time we talk, I, I walk away feeling stimulated. I'm ready to write, uh, suddenly I'm seeing something in a new light.We've been having these conversations in one way or another for over a decade now. Uh, and I thought, you know what, what if we just recorded one and shared it on a podcast? I have no idea whether you'll enjoy it as we do or not, but,uh, it's, it's, it's cool. We sort of start slow and build up as things go on. Listening to it, I wonder if we've developed a sort of shorthand. This sort of thing happens. It's like any place or person where you've been hanging out or with for a while. Uh, things line up, you know, the organization of either physical or thought space just falls into this functional sort of place.In any case, I thought it would be entertaining and I'd love to hear your feedback about it. If you're up for it, drop me a line at wander@rhythmsoffocus.com. That's W-A-N-D-E r@rhythmsoffocus.com.  Joel Anderson's Background I have a chair in moral psychology and social philosophy in the Ethics Institute, which is part of the Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies in the faculty of the humanities at Utrecht University. So that's the whole hierarchical layering of that. That's the thing. Alright, cool. Nested communities. We've been chatting since, I was looking, I was trying to find the first email between us, and the earliest I found was 2014, but it looked like it was in the middle of a conversation.Yeah, it always feels like that with you, that as whenever we pick it up, it feels like we're...

Ever notice how your focus sharpens right before a looming deadline, as if the ticking clock finally sweeps away distraction? This episode of *Rhythms of Focus* dives beneath that familiar surge, exploring why urgency can both ignite and exhaust wandering minds—especially for adults with ADHD.Join me as we untangle the hidden costs of deadline-driven focus and discover a gentler path: one where agency, rhythm, and self-compassion replace force and burnout. You’ll learn how to trade the chronic anxiety of “last-minute mode” for a kinder, more sustainable rhythm of engagement—one that honors both your creative energy and your need for rest.In this episode, you’ll discover:Why the “deadline rush” feels so compelling—and so drainingHow force-based focus erodes self-trust and agencyA practical, visit-based approach to build momentum without pressureThree actionable takeaways:Try a daily “visit” to your project: just show up, take a breath, and mark it done—no pressure to finishUse simple tools (a calendar, habit tracker, or even a scrap of paper) to gently anchor your attentionReframe deadlines as prompts for reality, not engines of anxiety—allowing your focus to flow with less self-judgmentThis episode also features an original piano composition, “Dandelion Wine”—a musical invitation to warmth, presence, and gentle growth.Subscribe for more mindful strategies, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com/visit for your free guide to building a rhythm that works with your wandering mind.LinksYour First Step to Breaking Free from Force Based Work (free PDF with signup)Rhythms of Focus - Episode 4Rhythms of Focus - Episode 9Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #FocusRhythm #GentleHabits #VisitBased #SelfCompassion #CreativeFocus #DeadlineAnxietyTranscript  The Night Before and The Deadline Sharpens FocusPicture this. It's the night before a big project is due. Your mind starts to feel sharper. Distractions fade. You're finally able to focus, powered by the pressure of this ticking clock. For many with wandering minds, ADHD, and beyond, this last minute surge is all too familiar.So what's going on under the surface? Join me on this episode of Rhythms of Focus as we consider reasons in the costs of deadline driven work and maybe find a kinder approach to making things happen that hopefully leaves you with a calmer sense of focus.  Force vs. Flow: The Hidden Costs of Pushing Yourself to FocusWhen we can't seem to get ourselves to do things, whatever those things are, we often resort to some form of force. And there's several means of force.One of them we've already looked at in episode six, which is the moral approach. This is where we can tell ourselves to "try harder" or shame ourselves among other possibilities.Another method, many use, is to leverage deadlines. As we go through our lives, we lose things, forget things, have trouble starting and stopping and more. Often this leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Every attempt and injury worsens our wounds and the world becomes that much more dangerous.It's difficult to know where danger is, but it always seems to be there. Having got ourselves into trouble many times over throughout our lives.So, we're always on the hunt for danger, sometimes believing or even finding ourselves to be the source. We can...

Feeling trapped by rigid productivity hacks or the pressure to “just start”? This episode of Rhythms of Focus invites you to reimagine focus—not as a battle of willpower, but as a gentle practice of agency. For adults with ADHD and wandering minds, agency is the skill of deciding and engaging non-reactively, even when emotions or distractions surge like waves. Instead of forcing yourself forward, you’ll discover how to nurture a sense of agency that honors your rhythms and restores trust in your own choices.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why agency—not force—is the missing ingredient for meaningful productivity and self-trustHow to move from shame-based or deadline-driven habits to a visit-based approach that supports your creative mindPractical ways to pause, sense your options, and make decisions that feel true to youKey takeawaysPractice “visits” instead of forcing action, building agency one gentle step at a timeUse mindful pauses to transform overwhelm into clarity and choiceReframe “I don’t wanna” moments as signals to honor your agency, not shame yourselfEnjoy an original piano composition, Wind at Play, highlighting the practice between play and agency.Subscribe to Rhythms of Focus and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for more resources, support, and inspiration designed for creative, wandering minds.Keywords#ADHD, #WanderingMinds, #agency, #gentleproductivity, #mindfulfocus, #visitbasedproductivity, #selftrust, #creativity, #selfcompassion, #rhythmsoffocusLinksEpisode S01E04 - From Force to Flow with a VisitEpisode S01E07 - Cautions of Dopamine and a Lean into Mastery“I just don’t wanna” and the Power of a Visit - Neurodivergent InsightsWhat’s the Difference Between PDA and Demand Avoidance? - Neurodivergent InsightsTranscript"I just don't wanna," it's a familiar refrain for those with wandering minds. So what do we do when we just don't wanna.  Agency, Not Force, Unlocks Gentle ProductivityYou may well know that once you're in it, you're good to go, but getting there can be terribly difficult. Yelling, "just start" hardly works. And when it does, it carries this host of troubles.In earlier episodes, I talked about dopamine and the "interest-based nervous system" as it's been called, and how we might use these ideas against ourselves to say that we need some chemical or preexisting emotion to get to work. We adopt a sense that we cannot work by our own will.But I did also hint at a third point of view.We often focus on attention. For example, one type of wandering mind often carries such a diagnosis. ADHD. It's right there in the title, right? Attention Deficit hyperactivity Disorder. And there's even the inattentive type where we say that is the main focus.But what's profoundly missing from the title and other wandering minds, such as the anxious, the creative, the absent-minded, and the like, is the sense of agency.Now, what is that? It sounds simple. Maybe boring. Why bother with such an abstract idea? What does agency have to do with anything?This central idea is a pillar to everything I write about, how I function as a psychoanalyst, and how I function as a teacher.If you want to know the...

Feeling stuck waiting for motivation to strike? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore a gentler, agency-driven approach to productivity-especially for creative professionals, high-achievers with ADHD, and anyone whose mind tends to wander. Instead of relying on force, deadlines, or shame, discover how small, mindful “visits” and emotional rhythms can help you move forward, even when motivation feels out of reach.You’ll learn: • Why traditional productivity advice often backfires for wandering minds, and how to honor your emotions as guides rather than obstacles. • How the “CHIN-UP” emotions-challenge, interest, novelty, urgency, and passion- are helpful, but not enough for meaningful engagement. • Practical ways to create gentle transitions into focus, using visits and self-compassion as your starting point.Key Takeaways: • Show up to your work with a single, mindful visit-no need to force action. • Use your emotions as navigational tools, not barriers. • Mark each visit complete, no matter how small, and return with self-kindness.This episode features an original piano composition “Standing Deer” to inspire your own creative rhythm, a representation of passion to build in your own life.Subscribe for more gentle productivity strategies and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for resources and community.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #GentleProductivity #MindfulFocus #Agency #CreativeBrains #EmotionalRhythm #SelfCompassion #ProductivityTips #FocusWithoutForceTranscript No Dopamine? No laundry "Oh, I'm sorry. I, I can't do the laundry. I, I just don't have the dopamine."I am paraphrasing this from a social media post that is quite humorous as these videos often are. My question is "now what?"Do we wait for dopamine or interest or whatever to be able to act? Are we really at the mercy of some capricious muse?We can certainly laugh at these videos, but I think we owe it to ourselves to pick up from this point, because otherwise we're left throwing up our hands and saying, well, I guess I just don't have free will.Okay. But now what?  Certainly, it can be hard to get started. Transitioning from doing nothing to something, from something to something else. These can seem impossible. Others ask us-- we ask ourselves, why can't I move forward? Why can't I keep doing the thing over time?I had like to play for you this post that I found quite funny. Written across it is the words, "me absolutely riddled with ADHD applying for a job." Instagram Post hereAgain, quite funny, but I think we need to pick up from here.In recent years, this idea of an "Interest- based nervous system" has come to the front. The idea is that we can only function if we have this inherent interest in doing a thing.One psychiatrist, Dr. William Dodson describes a few motivating conditions for those with ADHD, and I think the concept can extend well for those with wandering minds.Namely, these conditions are:One. Challenge: a sense of being challenged within that window that works for us that can engage flow.Two. Interest: the sense that you inherently would like to do something.Three. Novelty is say, Hey, look, there's that shiny thing. I would maybe play around with this word novelty and replace it with the idea of discovery because I feel like it's more meaningful. Four is urgency: a sense that something's on fire. It needs to be taken care of now.And fifth. Passion: the sense that something developing over time throughout your days, giving you a sense of competency, identity, agency, and more.Together, these have sometimes been called an...

Caught in the tug-of-war between “should do” and “want to do”? You’re not alone. In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we unravel the hidden dance between dopamine, motivation, and the pursuit of mastery-especially for those with wandering minds and ADHD.We’ll explore why chasing dopamine hits can leave us feeling empty, and how shifting our focus from quick fixes to meaningful learning can restore a sense of agency. Instead of forcing productivity, discover how leaning gently into challenge-and finding ease and play within it-can help you build rhythms that last.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why relying solely on dopamine or brain chemistry explanations can distance you from your own experience-and what to do instead.How to use the “Lean into Challenge” approach to transform overwhelm into small, achievable steps toward mastery.The power of play and ease as markers of true learning, not just fleeting motivation.Three actionable takeaways:Pause and acknowledge your feelings before pushing forward-self-compassion is the first step to agency.Break tasks down to their simplest elements, slow your pace, and seek out the “level below” when stuck.Invite playfulness into your work-even a single note or tiny success can reignite engagement and growth.This episode features an original piano composition, “Sky Lily” as an example of structure shaping emotion.Subscribe and join us at rhythmsoffocus.com to keep guiding your wandering mind toward creative mastery.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #Agency #Mastery #PlayfulFocus #LeanIntoChallenge #Dopamine #RhythmsOfFocus #CreativeGrowthTranscript IntroductionStaring at your to-do list, you know exactly what you "should" do, but your mind won't budge. You quickly jump to something else on the list or off the list. "I'll do it later." Is it a lack of willpower, troubles with brain chemistry, or something else entirely?   On Dopamine...One struggle of a wandering mind is this sense that sometimes we cannot seem to do things by our own free will. Having bashed ourselves against our internal walls trying to prove otherwise, we might find some solace in science that our free will isn't truly free. There are at least a couple of examples of this, and one we'll look at today is found in the word "dopamine."Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that relates to reinforcement. The theory for ADHD at least is that the sensitivity, the receptors, the anatomic distribution and more of this chemical dopamine is somehow different. We can even dive further into the scientific words and say things like the dopaminergic cell bodies that relate exist in the pars compacta of the substantial nigra in the ventral tegmental area. Reinforcement sensitivity may be altered as related to the DAT1 gene variable numbered tandem repeat. ... and we can go on. There's a lot of benefit that can come from such study: medications, tools, new perspectives, and more.But as with any perspective, we can invite problems when this is our only way of looking at it. These words tend to distance us from experience, and this may seem like a trivial point, but I assure you it is not. The word "dopamine" can become a metaphor not only for the rest of these concepts, but for worlds we do not fully understand, and more importantly, worlds within ourselves that we do not control, at least not directly.This doesn't mean we should toss the science out the window. There is plenty within ourselves that we do not control. Psychoanalysis formalized this concept of the unconscious, for example, which by the way means that there are things that are not conscious. Depending on which analyst

What if your struggles with focus weren’t a moral failing, but simply a different rhythm—one that can be guided with care rather than shame? In this episode of *Rhythms of Focus*, we explore the well-worn path of self-blame that so many adults with ADHD and wandering minds know all too well. Together, we’ll consider how we can fall into the trap of “trying harder”, and how discover how agency and the practice of caring for our Future Selves can transform the way you organize your days.Key takeaways- Recognize how leveraging shame and self-criticism only deepens the cycle of overwhelm and guilt- Begin building a foundation of trust in your own rhythms, making it easier to release shame-based strategies and foster agencyThis episode also features an original piano composition, “Folktale.”Subscribe for more compassionate strategies for wandering minds, and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for resources and inspiration.Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #MindfulProductivity #SelfCompassion #Agency #GentleFocus #CreativeRhythms #LetGoOfShame #TaskManagement #PianoMeditationTranscript"Maybe I was born lazy." "Maybe I just need to try harder. "Despite your best efforts, another deadline slipping by and a familiar wave of guilt and shame rolls in. Some of us double down, hoping that shame will help us do better next time, creating this ever- worsening cycle. But couldn't there be a better organizing force?The Cycle of Self-Blame and "Trying Harder" As wandering minds, we often consider our troubles moral in nature. Maybe we were somehow born lazy. If we could only muster more willpower discipline, we'd be fine. Holding things in mind harder, trying one list after the next, creating this sea of post-it notes blaring reminders in a barely balanced set of files on the desktop-- all have this way of collapsing into piles of incomplete projects and missed opportunities, each resonating more shame. Just trying harder is like someone who's nearsighted is trying to see better by wanting to. It doesn't work and often leaves the ceiling worse, like squinting until we get headaches.Often the world around us doesn't recognize this sense we have of this Magnified Now that I described earlier in this series. They never experience what that could possibly mean-- this Magnified Now. And they view these collisions and misplacements that we get into as motivationally- based. The conclusion is that we are morally flawed. We hear some version of, "If you really cared, you wouldn't forget!" We hear that from others, and as we internalize it, we hear it from ourselves.And so once again, we muster up the courage and try again. With every error, we yell louder. Not only through self recrimination, but in the seas of sticky notes and the reminders and how we write our tasks and where we write them and demands and all caps and bold and saying, "Do homework!" "Write the report!" "Do the thing!" as well as the angry questions that follow, like "Why can't you just do it?"Maybe if we yelled at ourselves enough, that'll fix the problem. Leveraging ShameIn other words, we leverage shame. The trouble is it can work. For example, let's say you miss an appointment. "Well, next week I shouldn't miss that appointment because I'm going to feel bad enough to remember." But let's say you missed that one. "Well, now I'm just gonna feel worse and that'll do it."And now if it works well, you've just reinforced that you just needed to feel bad enough.The trouble is that leveraging shame beyond the major pain it inflict on ourselves, injures us further. We now not only have feelings of guilt and shame, but also this constant worry of gathering more...

In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore the paradoxical power and challenge of living with a wandering mind, whether of ADHD or otherwise. Ever notice how, when the winds are right, you can ride a wave of creativity and clarity—only to later find yourself scattered, lost, or exhausted when the tide shifts? In this episode, we’ll consider the troubles of even describing what is happening. While diagnoses can help, they can hinder has well. We’ll consider why “just try harder” and rigid productivity hacks often fail wandering minds—and what actually works insteadThis episode features an original piano composition, “Bunnies on the March.” Subscribe for more and visit rhythmsoffocus.com for resources designed for ADHD and wandering minds. Keywords#ADHD #WanderingMinds #FocusRhythms #Agency #Mindfulness #SelfCompassion #GentleProductivity #Creativity #FlowState #NeurodiversityTranscript When conditions are right, we're sailing strong, getting more done in a shorter time than most. Ideas click. Insights seem obvious, if not simple. In diving deep, the world fades away and this inner critic mercifully loosens its grip. We are creative. Feeling that free flow. We might wonder, why can't we just be here all the time? As I described in the opening, when conditions are right, we're sailing strong, and we can wonder why can't we always be here? The trouble is, conditions are ephemeral, a mysterious muse drifting off far sooner than we'd want.Trying to hold on beyond its natural end, creates tension, exhaustion, and a blindness to other matters. ... Into ScatterWe can fall into scatter. Maybe we walk into a room forgetting why we went there in the first place. Maybe we need so many reminders to navigate our day that they blend into the background, leaving us lost once again.Losing things, forgetting things, struggling to engage, buried under feelings of "I don't want to", and we sigh: "I'll do it later." Maybe we even vaguely believe ourselves despite the repeated failures to fulfill that promise. So we plot some path forward with whatever we have at hand. Maybe deadlines will work, maybe following the moments whims will work, but there are no control levers to either one.Due dates and interests exist without our input. Neither can they be faked. As painful as they are, they may seem to be our only tools, but their faults and pains leave us wondering,"Why can't I just,..."A Paradox of PotentialThere's a paradox of potential. We're told we're smart. We might even suspect it ourselves, but how can that possibly be true, especially when we cannot bring ourselves, our minds to a place to do a thing that feels important. That disconnect between perceived potential and the realization of that potential creates a powerfully painful point for the wandering mind.Minds wander for some more so than others. Some season, some days, some hours more than others, sometimes well beyond some threshold where it can become quite difficult to navigate the day, running in fits and starts, excelling than crashing.The struggles that come with a wandering mind go beyond a simple trouble of focus. How do we explain to someone, anyone, others, or ourselves that we can do this, but not that, focus here, but not there, now, but not then? "What's wrong with you? Why can't you just get started?"Well we've already been going through enough, we've got enough going on, enough troubles trying to move forward, keeping up with responsibilities desperately searching for a moment of joy and relief where we can, having to explain how our mind wanders is just one more difficult task on the pile.Beyond LabelsSome people get a...