Critical Babe Theory

***This is our 50th episode***The utterly delightful Monique Gabriel comes on the show to discuss the power of the bitch—which becomes a conversation about spiritual living and integrates into the timeless question: how can I be a spiritual bitch?Also discussed: adult tantrums, competitive crafting, alphas who like to be alphaed, girls school aura, “a friend to all is a friend to no one,” animus and anima, how trump brings meth head energy to the White House, POV promotions, MBA degrees = art of the yap, manifestation as original sin, reverting to the old gods, being out there in your faun, the peace of fulfilling the bloodline, and we boldly ask the question: what is it going to take to bring glitter back to America? (Hint: another Beyoncé album)The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Novelist Andrew Ridker comes on the show to discuss the paradox of privilege and persecution at the heart of the Jewish-American experience (and literary canon)—and how it’s time to shift the plot.Also discussed: Birthright sex romps, the cure for ambiguity, how the medium is the message in social media comment fights, the intellectual inconsistencies of Holocaust denialism, Portlandia passover seders, how Israel-Gaza is the psychic tear of the moral universe, the internet’s MO (nihilism), mogging as the law of the land, closeted DJs, and next year in Jerusalem—but not literally.Discussed:Andrew’s NY Mag article: https://www.vulture.com/article/jewish-american-writers-literature-new-stories-gaza-israel.htmlPeter Beinart’s - Being Jewish After the Destruction of GazaProspect Writers’ Workshop: https://www.andrewridker.com/prospect-writers-workshop

Political consultant and strategist Charlie Goldensohn—aka @chez.chuck—comes on the show to discuss the Democratic Party and all its stumbling blocks.Also discussed: innate SF degeneracy, dip preferences, Gavin Newsom (again), the gender wars, how we all become our parents, American gerontocracy, “the people who are winning are populists,” the DL on Biden’s White House mental state, who’s really driving the male loneliness discourse, and the only egalitarian marriage in America (Charlie’s parents’).*The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support. xo *

Léonie Weerakoon—human ecologist and founder of Kinetik Ventures, a bioeconomy investment firm—comes on the show to discuss her work, sustainability, and how nature is the highest form of intelligence.Also discussed: what it’s like to work for F1, living the globalist dream, extreme sports of sustainability, a hard pitch on moving to Luxembourg, nature as a peer, Francesca’s new conspiracy theory, how rubber led to the Industrial Revolution—plus Francesca gets a 101 on how capitalism works.The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Johnny Gaffney—founder of Senior Centertainment (https://seniorcentertainment.org) — comes on the show to talk about his work with seniors and how we all can be good neighbors — and finally do away with the modern illusion of self-sufficiency. Also discussed: always hailing yellow, the value of scrumming around, growing our capacity for non-romantic intimacy, VHI Behind the Music as spiritually purifying, honoring the stranger by having toilet paper, male vanity, Grinch green attraction, what it means to be a yapper, the sex scene in Showgirls, carnival barking, and Johnny’s shocking confession that he hasn’t washed his hair since the Obama administration.The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Author and journalist EJ Dickson comes on the show to discuss her new book One Bad Mother and the impossible trap American mothers are put in—be they hot moms, influencer moms, MAHA moms or really any mom at all.Also discussed: ER vacations, how the kids-on-airplanes discourse points to the erosion of Judeo-Christian values, therapy as emotional prostitution, what we owe each other as a communal species, the golden ticket in our society of a martyr complex plus a lack of shame, the sin of being annoying, Fauci’s karma (and romance novel), bringing back filial piety, and how everyone will fail you (even your mother).The poem EJ references, “This Be The Verse” by Philip Larkin”:They fuck you up, your mum and dad.       They may not mean to, but they do.   They fill you with the faults they had    And add some extra, just for you.But they were fucked up in their turn    By fools in old-style hats and coats,   Who half the time were soppy-stern    And half at one another’s throats.Man hands on misery to man.    It deepens like a coastal shelf.Get out as early as you can,    And don’t have any kids yourself.The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Simon van Zuylen-Wood—journalist and features writer at New York Magazine—comes on the show to talk about the battle for the soul of American conservatism and the battleground of elite inboxes (ie the prodigious emailing of Jeffrey Epstein). Nota bene: first half of the episode we discuss Charlie Kirk and Nick Fuentes, Epstein in the second half. Candace floats throughout, as is her wont.Also discussed: what breakfast choice makes you a free-trade globalist, if we should just let Trump have his tariffs, gay orgies vs Epstein island parties, sympathy for the devil, JD Vance as multiculturalist, Gen Z nihilism is the book of Ecclesiastes all over again, nepo truthers, the (embarrassing) cult of Fran Leibowitz, gentle authoritarian parenting, Nick Fuentes as Kid Chaos, and Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein.“Inside the Conservative Campus Revolution” by Simon van Zuyvlen-Wood in New York Mag“The Truth is Out There” by Simon van Zuylen-Wood in New York Mag“Child’s Play” by Sam Kriss in Harper’sThe first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Writer Nicole Treska comes on the show to talk about growing up in blue collar Boston under the aegis of the Winter Hill Gang—and how the left (maybe, if they stop being corporate sell outs) can win back the white working class.Also discussed: boomer greed, the authoritarian personality, ancestral goat programming, how when people say they want to be rich what they mean is they want to be middle class in the 80’s, pandemic accelerationism, ruling like the right, how gang members just want to hang out like the rest of us, the time Francesca got neo-conned into voting for Kamala, Mamdani and dark woke, and yet again, we can’t shut up about the dog sh*t.https://nicoletreska.comThe first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

Cult comic and beloved online denizen Lauren Servideo comes on the show to discuss her favorite characters (hint: it’s like choosing your favorite child), old-hat internet, and what we talk about when we talk about influencers.Also discussed: eldest daughter discourse, Billy Crystal and the female fear of death, crust punks with a TikTok presence, how men don’t like to be propositioned to be a muse (by Francesca), MLM faux-pas, peptide propaganda, shmacting, and whether all Italians are funny.The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo

The first half of every episode of CBT is free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xoBrian Wood, founder of Panodime, comes on the show to discuss what the AI overlords really want (hint: it’s not to make your workflow more efficient) and what we need to do to ensure the AI future benefits all of us.Discussed: tech CEO drug addicts, the problem with transhumanism, misreading Lord of the Rings, why maybe women shouldn’t vote (bc they’re making the world “unsafe for capitalism”), AI or climate armageddon, Terminator vs elites framework, and Francesca’s theory that Peter Thiel wants to subjugate the divine feminine.https://www.panodime.comInstagram: @pano.dimeTiktok: @panodime

Nota bene: starting today, the first half of every episode of CBT will be free wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to become a subscriber and hear the second half, please go to www.patreon.com/criticalbabetheory. Thank you for your support xo I talk with Reuben Barsky—raconteur & denizen of the diamond district—about the myth of the urban American male and pursuit of the good life.Also discussed: what constitutes normal male behavior, whether all immigrants are criminals (muses immigrant-descendant-of-criminals Francesca), the art of the cold call, how to not bulk, the freedom to rot, prison face, and escaping the Freddo mindset.Update about the 49ers electrical substation conspiracy theory: neither the Seahawks nor the Patriots will be using SF practice facilities, and Niners management will be investigating the correlation between the substation and injuries. So proud to be part of this conspiracy from the ground up!

Actress and impresario Ruby McCollister and I discuss Camille Paglia’s Sexual Personae—the resurrection of the work post-Trump, Paglia’s thrilling/exhausting prose styling, the fundamental immorality and amorality of art, and the inherent tackiness of sexuality.Also discussed: Ruby’s theory on how JFK started the culture war (with his hotness), safe spaces at Vogue, being an emotional slut, the NYC real estate that perverted Francesca’s lifestyle expectations, how Gen X ruined the world (and the grace due boomers), Howard Stern and the end of the shock jock era, whether large tubes of Aquafor are chic, and how sometimes in a room everyone has been inside Francesca.

Activist and comic Davidson Boswell returns and we discuss Venezuela, ICE and the murder of Renee Good. We debate material conditions vs the flawed nature of man, what follows post-white supremacy and the eschatological possibility of saving ICE agent’s souls.Also discussed: Almond moms, socialist footwear, how Trump accidentally made Maduro look cool, Jonathan E Ross as the new Franz Ferdinand, post-materialism and how the Democrats have to embrace populism.

Comic and activist Davidson Boswell comes on the show to talk about his radicalization post October 7th and the mass marketing of revolution.We discuss the sins of moderate liberals and Davidson's disruptions with Climate Defiance, including their interruption of the opening night of Carmen at the Met. Also discussed: how to get a pervert to put their dick away on the subway, the ego-wound of standing on principle, quibbles with Cuba, the glam of imperialism, Francesca’s common ground with Megyn Kelly, and much more. Also Francesca gives in to her worst instincts and reads her favorite poem.Nota bene: this was recorded at the end of last year before Trump went Rambo on Maduro—we will discuss Venezuela & the ICE murder of an American citizen in depth on the next episode.

Friend of the pod Lauren Bille returns to the show and we attempt to talk about dating—but keep getting pulled into current events. The personal is political?Also discussed: the hermeneutics of dating people too young for you, paralyzation of choice, Candace Owens blaming American foreign policy in Venezuela on “Zionists” (editor’s note: by that does she mean Stephen Miller?), the ideal male-female age gap (spoiler: it’s 20 years), what Derek Chauvin is up to, why Hobbes would support increasing marriage rates and how women are responsible for eternal bachelorhood. Also Francesca’ gives her merciless dating advice and confesses a blasphemy.

CBT welcomes in the new year with guest Dhananjay Jagannathan and a super-stoney discussion of what Christ really meant when he said he came with the sword (the Christian mandate for socialism, duh). We break down Phil Christman’s book Why Christians Should be Leftists, the semiotics of woke house style, the aesthetics needed to reach Christian moms and how Christ is a little too radical for the NYC petite bourgeoisie.Also discussed: how sexy we like our thought leaders (very), Hilbert’s paradox as metaphor for the Trinity, the ethics of astrology, and much more. Plus Francesca asks the most serious question of all: can I really consider myself a Christian if I spend hella $$$ on nail art?Read more of his work on Dhananjay's substack, Cultured Opinion: https://culturedopinion.substack.comAnd his essay on the sins of private property:https://comment.org/on-privacy-and-exclusion/

Guest Dhananjay Jagannathan returns to discuss his time as a professor at Columbia University post-October 7th and the ensuing protests and encampments. We discuss how the elite institutions of higher education are eating themselves alive—like it's 1968 all over again.Also discussed: the lost pleasures of MapQuest, how Columbia University loves its grass (more than its students), and that Francesca never wears her glasses and thus lives in blissful ignorance.

This week's guest Dhananjay Jagannathan, essayist and Professor of Philosophy at Hunter College, comes on to discuss the value of education today—is it for the one percent? Is it for spiritual edification? Is it to perform well at cocktail parties? Read more on Dhananjay's substack, Cultured Opinion: https://culturedopinion.substack.comAtlantic article about how students don't read anymore: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2024/11/the-elite-college-students-who-cant-read-books/679945/

Francesca and guest host Lauren Bille discuss single motherhood (and why you shouldn't be one), the tepid response to pronatalism on the right, dating football players and much more.

You open your eyes at dawn and turn in the cool bedsheets. From outside, you can hear the California High-Speed Rail as it comes to a screeching halt. Your government issued Meta glasses deliver a Page Six alert: recently disgraced influencer has thrown herself into the tracks. You open your window, and an Amazon drone flies in with your reasonably priced prescription of Ozempic, manufactured in the Purdue low-orbit space factory. Your micro-ear piece pings: it's Ezra Klein, reminding you that you're happy now.Friend-of-the-pod Brendan joins to mansplain Derek Thompson & Ezra Klein's Abundance to us.