The Terrible Photographer

There's a woman in Bangkok who's been selling noodles from the same corner for 43 years. She turned down Bon Appétit. Not because she's shy. Because she didn't want to cook for strangers with expectations.This episode started with a voicemail from Jason, a listener in North Carolina who shoots photos of his kids and has no interest in going pro. He called me out for ignoring non-professionals. And he was right.What I didn't expect was how much his email would make me confront something I've been avoiding: I'm envious of amateur photographers. Not because they're bad at what they do. Because they still have the thing I traded away.This is about the cost of professionalization. About the difference between making work because you have to versus making work because the work demands to be made. About freedom, money, and what happens when you refuse to let the transaction define the craft.If you've ever felt like you're not a "real" photographer because you don't charge... this one's for you.And if you're a pro who's forgotten why you started... this one's for you too.Key Themes:Transactional Legitimacy (the belief that payment equals worth)The cost of going professional vs. staying amateurCreative envy and what it revealsBeing "unowned" in a world where everything is for saleThe difference between a career and a practiceEpisode Timestamps:0:00 - Cold Open: The Noodle Queen of Bangkok 1:15 - Handshake & Episode Intro 2:00 - Jason's Voicemail (Part 1): "I'm not a professional nor do I want to be" 3:00 - Confession: Why I avoid amateur photographers (and the envy underneath) 4:30 - Bellingham, 2012: When I was Jason 6:00 - Jason's Voicemail (Part 2): "We doubt our abilities because we are not getting paid" 6:30 - Alison's Story: The physical therapist photographing her mother's Alzheimer's 16:00 - Naming The Enemy: Transactional Legitimacy 19:00 - The Pivot: What professionals can't do (that amateurs can) 22:30 - The Resolution: Neither path is pure. Both cost something. 28:00 - The Restoration: What the professional world needs from non-professionals 30:30 - The Light Leak: Being unownedMentioned in This Episode:Episode 39: Creative directing your own life (referenced when discussing overthinking)Lake Padden, Bellingham WAFairhaven, Bellingham WAMount Baker, WAKey Quote:"You are not beneath professionals. You are adjacent to freedom they lost."For Jason:Thank you for the email. Thank you for the voicemail. Thank you for calling me out. This episode wouldn't exist without you.LINKS & RESOURCES:The Terrible Photographer: Website: http://terriblephotographer.com Subscribe to Pub Notes (Newsletter): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer/Lessons From A Terrible Photographer (The Book): https://www.terriblephotographer.com/the-bookSupport The Show: Buy me a coffee: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/supportConnect: Patrick Fore on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickfore/ Email: patrick@terriblephotographer.comCREDITS:Podcast written, produced, and hosted by Patrick Fore Music licensed through Epidemic SoundIntro Song: Free Spirit by Max Volante Episode photography from lucas.george.wendt Recorded in my garage in San Diego, CaliforniaA NOTE FOR NON-PROFESSIONALS (Amatures):If you're listening to this and you don't charge for your work—if you shoot because you love it, not because you're building a business—please know this:Your work matters. Your perspective matters. Your freedom matters.You're not less than. You're not waiting to become real.You're already real.And some of us wish we still had what you have.SHARE THIS EPISODE:Know someone who needs to hear this? A parent with a camera. A hobbyist who doubts themselves. A pro who's forgotten why they started.Send them this episode. Let them know they're not alone.

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:Three hundred years. That's how long my family has been in America. Jamestown. Virginia. Colonial laborers. Post-Civil War homesteaders in Missouri. And not one of them—not one—ever owned anything that lasted.In 1726, when a British clerk wrote "Fore" instead of "Fauer," my family's name changed. But the pattern didn't.This episode isn't about New Year's resolutions or fresh starts. It's about lazy rivers, tubes, and boats. It's about realizing you're floating in a system you never chose—and that everyone in your family has been floating for centuries. It's about being the first one to try to get out, even when you don't know how to swim.I talk about my MIT PhD brother who doesn't know how to freelance. A wedding photographer who realized he became his father. And why I'm angry at ancestors I've never met for never trying to break a pattern I now have to fight.If you've ever felt like you're working hard but never building anything. Like you're trapped between staying comfortable and risking everything. Like you're the first person in your family trying to do something different with no map and no model—this one's for you.Not because I have answers.Because I'm in the middle of the same fight.IN THIS EPISODE:The 300-year pattern: Jamestown to Missouri, laborers to homesteaders—and why nothing changedWhy "legally free but economically pinned" explains my entire family historyBoats, tubes, and swimmers: understanding the lazy river of lifeMy brother's phone call: when an MIT PhD doesn't know how to freelanceWhy I'm angry at dead people who had no choiceWhat it means to labor for yourself vs. labor for someone else's dreamThe question: Do you see the river? And if you do, what are you going to do about it?WANT A SEAT AT THE TABLE?The Table is a small, email-based conversation space for creative people in the long middle. No apps. No feeds. No pressure. No posting requirements. Just occasional emails about the real stuff—and the option to reply, or not.Some weeks you'll get a reflection. Some weeks a question. Some weeks nothing. Sometimes it's about creative existential dread. Sometimes it's about whether gaffer tape smells different depending on the brand.It's a pub table. But everyone's wearing sweatpants. And nobody has to drive home.If you want a seat, email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com Subject line: "I'd like a seat at The Table"LINKS:Website: http://terriblephotographer.comThe Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public. terriblephotographer.com/newsletterSupport the Show: Help keep the lights on terriblephotographer.com/supportEmail the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com Questions, thoughts, rage at your own ancestors—I respond to everything.

You've mastered the craft. You've built the business. You're successful. But you're still lonely. You're Joshua Bell in the subway—playing a Stradivarius while everyone walks past. You've taken off the costume, rejected the hierarchy, and you're still isolated.So now what?In the finale of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores sociologist Ray Oldenburg's concept of "The Third Space"—the pubs, coffee shops, and barbershops where community used to happen naturally. He examines why these spaces disappeared, how COVID delivered the final blow, and why digital spaces (Reddit, Discord) might be Third Space for some people while remaining incomplete for others.This episode is both diagnosis and prescription: why we're lonely, why it's gotten worse, and the uncomfortable truth that you can't find community—you have to build it. One vulnerable conversation at a time.IN THIS EPISODE:Ray Oldenburg's Third Space theory: First Space (home), Second Space (work), Third Space (community)Why Third Spaces disappeared: suburbanization, work-from-home, social media performance cultureHow COVID killed Third Space culture permanently (not just temporarily)The death of Meetup.com and "social atrophy"—we forgot how to be togetherWhy your friend who says "Reddit is my Third Space" isn't wrong (but it's incomplete)The difference between performing and being seen in digital spacesWhy networking events are Second Space disguised as Third SpaceThe Leslie paradox: Patrick's only Third Space relationship is digital and 2800 miles awayYou can't find Third Space, you have to build it—starting with ONE personVulnerability first: Be vulnerable → See who responds → Build from thereWhy you need 2-3 real connections, not 100 photographer "friends" (Dunbar's number)Consistency over intensity: weekly coffee > annual epic meetupThe five steps to building your own Third Space (reach out, show up without costume, witness don't fix, make it regular, expand carefully)What to talk about (the real stuff: struggles, jealousy, exhaustion, the work you're hiding)What NOT to talk about (how busy you are, your big clients, industry gossip)Introducing The Table: Patrick's email-based Third Space experiment for people in the long middleTHE CHALLENGE: Reach out to ONE person this week. Not to network, not to collaborate. Just: "I've been thinking about creative loneliness lately. Want to grab coffee?" Then show up without your costume and talk about what you're actually struggling with.KEY QUOTES: "Third Space doesn't exist until someone creates it. And it doesn't start with a community. It starts with one person.""Digital-only Third Space is incomplete. You need to look someone in the eye. You need to sit across a table from another human. You need to exist in a room where you can't edit yourself before you speak.""You can't outsource belonging. You can't scroll your way to community. You can't consume your way to connection.""COVID didn't pause Third Space culture. It killed it. And we're still living in the wreckage."WANT A SEAT AT THE TABLE?The Table is a small, email-based conversation space for creative people in the long middle. No apps. No feeds. No pressure. No posting requirements. Just occasional emails about the real stuff—and the option to reply, or not.Some weeks you'll get a reflection. Some weeks a question. Some weeks nothing. Sometimes it's about creative existential dread. Sometimes it's about whether gaffer tape smells different depending on the brand.It's a pub table. But everyone's wearing sweatpants. And nobody has to drive home.If you want a seat, email: patrick@terriblephotographer.comSubject line: "I'd like a seat at The Table"LINKS:Website: terriblephotographer.comThe Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.terriblephotographer.com/newsletterSupport the Show: Help keep the lights onterriblephotographer.com/supportEmail the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.comQuestions, thoughts, rage—I respond to everything.CREDITS:Music: Licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot SessionsWritten and Produced by: Patrick ForeEpisode Image by Mason Dahl - https://www.instagram.com/masondahlphoto/

Why does a $600 light get dismissed while a $3,000 light gets respect, even when they produce identical results? Why do wedding photographers apologize by saying “I’m just a wedding photographer”? And why do we hide the work we’re actually doing because it’s not the “right” kind of work?In Part 3 of The Long Middle series, Patrick examines the hierarchies that divide creative professionals, and admits his own complicity in enforcing them.From a tense Zoom call about Profoto versus Godox, to being dismissed in Clubhouse rooms, to looking down on other photographers while feeling looked down upon himself, this episode pulls no punches about how gatekeeping actually works, who it serves, and why we keep it alive.IN THIS EPISODE:The Profoto story: when "professional standards" are actually access standardsWhat gatekeeping actually means (and the Kurt Lewin research that defined it)Why the kitchen brigade system is the perfect metaphor for creative hierarchiesA scene from Pixar's Ratatouille and how it quietly becomes the emotional center of the episodeHow wedding, portrait, and fashion photographers face different versions of the same dismissalThe pattern across all creative fields: writers, musicians, filmmakers, designersPatrick's confession: the times he's been the gatekeeperWhy the hierarchy survives (it's not the people at the top—it's the people in the middle)The Clubhouse dismissals and the Taylor Guitars "cool kids table"How hiding your "wrong" work keeps you complicit in the systemWhat leadership actually looks like: extending an arm instead of pulling it up behind youTHE CHALLENGE: The next time someone asks "What are you working on?"—tell them the truth. Not the impressive version. Not the potential job. The actual work you're doing right now. Say it like it's legitimate work. Because it is.KEY QUOTE: "The hierarchy doesn't survive because the people at the top enforce it. It survives because the people in the middle enforce it. Because we're so afraid of being dismissed, we dismiss someone else first."LINKS:Website: terriblephotographer.comThe Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public. terriblephotographer.com/newsletterSupport the Show: Help keep the lights on terriblephotographer.com/supportEmail the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com Questions, thoughts, rage—I respond to everything.CREDITS• Music: Licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions• Written and Produced by: Patrick Fore• Episode Image: Licensed through Adobe Stock

When Vanity Fair published Christopher Anderson’s portraits of the White House’s inner circle, the internet reacted to the politics. But as photographers, we need to look closer. We need to look at the framing.In this bonus episode, Patrick Fore deconstructs the word "Framing." It’s not just the rule of thirds or leading lines—it’s authorship. It’s the decision to show truth over comfort, and humanity over "hero energy." Patrick opens up about his own struggle with "cowering" to the moment and why we’ve all become a little too good at making the world look beige.In this episode, we discuss:The difference between geometry (composition) and power (framing).Why Christopher Anderson’s refusal to "smooth" his subjects is an act of courage.The "Light Switch" metaphor: How small, boring details tell the biggest stories.How to stop being a decorator and start being an author again.Why being a "Terrible Photographer" means being terrible at following the rules that kill your voice.ABOUT CHRISTOPHER ANDERSONChristopher Anderson is a member of Magnum Photos and is widely considered one of the most influential photographers of his generation. He first gained international recognition for his work documenting the Haitian refugee crisis, where the boat he was traveling on sank in the Caribbean—work that earned him the Robert Capa Gold Medal.Whether he is documenting conflict, the streets of Shenzhen, or the corridors of power in D.C., Anderson’s work is defined by an intense, emotional intimacy and a refusal to provide a "clean" or "commercial" version of reality.Find his work here:Website: christopherandersonphoto.comInstagram: @christopherandersonphotoMonographs: Approximate Joy, STUMP, and Pia.LINKSWebsite: terriblephotographer.comThe Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.Support the Show: Help keep the lights onEmail the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.comQuestions, hate mail, and existential spirals are all welcome.CREDITSMusic: Licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.Written and Produced by: Patrick Fore

Why do photographers wear so much black? Why do we feel confident on stage but panic at networking events? And why is it so hard to find real community in the creative industry?In Part 2 of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores the costumes we wear—not just the black clothes and gear, but the professional roles and personas that keep us safe and isolated at the same time.From 17th-century Japanese Kabuki theater to APA mixers in San Diego, this episode examines why we choose invisibility, what happens when we need established roles to feel legitimate, and the five-second decision that keeps us from connection.IN THIS EPISODE:The Kurogo: Japanese stagehands who dress in black to become "invisible" on stageWhy confidence comes from established roles (the stage, the call sheet, the contract)A painful story about leaving a networking event after two minutesHow neurodivergence affects ambiguous social spacesWhy fifteen years of mastery on set doesn't translate to confidence at a mixerThe difference between avatars (who have followers) and humans (who have friends)What happens when you choose the beach over the riskTHE CHALLENGE: The next time someone asks "How's it going?"—tell them one true thing. Not "busy." Not "crushing it." One honest thing. Drop the shield for ten seconds.LINKS:Website: terriblephotographer.comThe Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public. terriblephotographer.com/newsletterSupport the Show: Help keep the lights on terriblephotographer.com/supportEmail the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com Questions, hate mail, and existential spirals are all welcome.CREDITS:Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.Episode Artwork Photo by @erwimadethisWritten and Produced by Patrick ForeNEXT WEEK: Part 3 – "The Enemy" If the Costume hides us, Envy divides us. We're talking about scarcity mindset, comparison, and why we see our peers as threats instead of allies.

In January 2007, Joshua Bell—one of the world's best violinists—played a $3.5 million Stradivarius in a Washington D.C. subway station. Over 1,000 people walked past. Only 7 stopped to listen. He made $32.If you've ever felt like you're playing your heart out while everyone walks past... this episode is for you.This is Part 1 of a 4-part series called "The Long Middle"—about that specific season in a creative life where you've mastered the skills, built the business, done everything "right"... but something still feels off.Today's episode is about the loneliness that comes with expertise. The isolation that happens when you get really good at something and realize fewer and fewer people can see what you're actually doing.You're not broken. You're not ungrateful. You're not alone.You're just operating at a level where most people can't witness the craft.IN THIS EPISODEThe Joshua Bell Experiment Why one of the world's greatest violinists was invisible in a subway station—and what that tells us about creative loneliness.Sarah's Email A successful wedding photographer who's "disappearing into the work" despite doing everything right. Her story will sound familiar.The Loneliness of Mastery The higher you climb in your craft, the lonelier it gets. Not because you're failing—because fewer people can see what you're actually doing.Three Types of LonelinessUnintentional Loneliness (physical isolation)Deliberate Loneliness (choosing not to explain yourself)Experiential Loneliness (surrounded by people who don't speak your language)The Taylor Guitars Story How shooting a spray robot in a hazmat suit taught me what it feels like to be invisible at the level of expertise.Gratitude as a Weapon The difference between genuine gratitude and obligatory gratitude—and why "you should be grateful" has become one of the most damaging phrases in the creative industry.The Research Studies on senior executives, designers, and creative professionals all point to the same truth: expertise is isolating. It's documented. It's real. You're not crazy.Witnessed vs. Consumed The difference between 10,000 likes and one person who asks, "How did you do that?"Rivers vs. Pools Why fast-moving communities (Discord, social media) provide stimulation but not transformation—and what we need instead.KEY CONCEPTS & FRAMEWORKSExperiential Isolation at the Level of Expertise – The loneliness that comes from operating at a level where fewer people can understand what you're doingThe Seven People Who Stopped – You don't need a thousand people. You need the few who can actually witness the craft.Counterfeit Connection – Why engagement rates and subscriber counts feel like food but provide zero nutritionThe Pool (vs. The River) – Slow, still, deep spaces where you can see your own reflection vs. fast-moving noiseRESEARCH MENTIONED"Lonely at the Top" study on senior executives (2018)Adobe user research – 60% of designers feel misunderstood by non-creative colleaguesThree Types of Loneliness framework – Psychological research (University of Chicago)The Washington Post Joshua Bell experiment (2007)QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE"Gratitude is for gifts. It is not for labor. You don't have to be 'grateful' that the business you built with your own sweat is working.""The higher you climb, the lonelier it gets. Not because you're broken. But because there are simply fewer people at that altitude.""You can get 10,000 likes on a photo and still feel completely invisible. Because those people aren't witnessing you. They're consuming content.""When you're in the Neutral Zone, you don't need a fast-moving river. You need a Still Pool.""Sarah isn't failing. She's not depressed. She's just alone at the level she's operating."WHAT'S NEXTThis is Part 1 of a 4-part series called "The Long Middle." Over the next three weeks, we'll explore:Episode 41: How to recognize your people (and why creative friendship is so hard)Episode 42: How to build community without losing your soulEpisode 43: What The Pool actually looks like when it worksIf you're Joshua Bell in the subway right now—if you're doing your best work and feeling completely invisible—email me. Tell me about the work nobody sees.BOOK ANNOUNCEMENTLessons From A Terrible Photographer is now available as a Limited Collector's Box ($69.99).Includes:Signed hardcover bookSigned photo printField Notes notebookHand-typed letter on my 1920s Corona typewriterAccess to audiobook & ebook (when released)StickersStandard hardback coming January 2026.Get yours: terriblephotographer.comCONNECTEmail: podcast@terriblephotographer.com I respond to everything. Seriously. Tell me what bar you just let go of. Tell me about the work nobody sees.Website: terriblephotographer.comInstagram: @terriblephotographerCREDITSMusic in this episode from Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.Episode photography provided by Benjamin Behre / UnsplashWritten, Recorded, Produced & Edited by me, Patrick Fore.EPISODE STATSEpisode: 40 Series: The Long Middle (Part 1 of 4) Runtime: ~35 minutesTAGS#CreativeLoneliness #PhotographyPodcast #CreativeEntrepreneur #MasteryAndIsolation #CreativeCommunity #TheTerriblePhotographer #JoshuaBell #WitnessedNotConsumed #ExpertiseIsolation #CommercialPhotography #CreativeLife #LongMiddle #ThePoolLISTENER SUPPORTIf this episode resonated with you, the best way to support the show is to:Share it with one person who needs to hear thisLeave a review on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyEmail me your story—I read everythingThis show exists because you listen. Thank you for being here.© 2025 The Terrible Photographer Podcast. All rights reserved.

Belle Gibson faked cancer. The Stauffers rehomed their adopted son when the content became too difficult. Ruby Franke is currently sitting in a prison cell.It’s easy to look at the monsters of the influencer economy and think, "I am nothing like them." But if you peel back the layers of how we document our own lives, the difference might be smaller than we’d like to admit.In this episode, we dig into the "Curator's Disease"—the urge to professionalize our own existence. We look at how commercial production techniques have trickled down from ad agencies to our Saturday mornings, how we reverse-engineer our lives to fit a "Lululemon" aesthetic, and the exhausted reality of treating your family like supporting cast members.We discuss the difference between capturing a beautiful moment and interrupting a life to manufacture one. It’s time to get out of the Director’s Chair.In this episode:The Monsters: Why the Ruby Franke and LaBrant Family stories aren't just isolated tragedies, but symptoms of a wider infection.The Lululemon Brain Worm: How commercial "lifestyle" marketing taught us to fake our own weekends.The Composite Client: Patrick breaks down a real commercial shoot to show how "authenticity" is manufactured in a conference room.The Interruption: The critical difference between seeing beautiful light and forcing your kids to stand in it.The Unpaid Internship: Why you’re exhausted from trying to hit commercial production standards on a home-video budget.Connect with The Terrible Photographer:Website: The Terrible PhotographerThe Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.Support the Show: Help keep the lights onEmail the Host: patrick@terriblephotographer.com – Questions, hate mail, and existential spirals are all welcome.Credits:Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.Episode Artwork licensed through Adobe Stock.Written and Produced by Patrick Fore

June 6, 1944. Robert Capa is wading through the freezing water of Omaha Beach. He captures the most important images of the 20th century, and technically, they are a disaster. They are blurry. They are grainy. They are imperfect. And that is exactly why they matter.In this episode, Patrick explores the physics of light, the "hostage negotiation" of the exposure triangle, and why we are so terrified of grain. We look at how the market has colonized our vision, leading us to trade atmosphere for information and "safe" images for honest ones.Most importantly, Patrick confesses to "art directing" his own daughter's childhood—prioritizing perfect light over real memories—and asks if it's possible to trade competence back for presence.In this episode, we talk about:The story of the "Magnificent Eleven" and Robert Capa’s D-Day photos.The Physics of Light: Why the exposure triangle is a hostage situation.Why ISO is like the volume knob on cheap speakers.The "Cultural Clean": Why Instagram and modern cinema feel so flat.A personal confession: Killing the moment to save the exposure.Why "Denoise" is the enemy of the soul.Support the Show: If you enjoy these ramblings, or if this episode made you feel slightly less guilty about your grainy photos, consider fueling the next one. You can buy me a coffee (or let's be honest, a beer) to help keep the mics on and the existential spirals coming.Fuel the Mess: terriblephotographer.com/supportLinks & Resources:Website: terriblephotographer.comEmail the Show: patrick@terriblephotographer.com — Send questions, thoughts, or hate mail. I read everything.Credits:Episode Photo: Hulki Okan TabakMusic: Blue Dot SessionsSound Effects: Epidemic Sound

In 1863, the Paris Salon rejected Édouard Manet's The Luncheon on the Grass for being too messy, too flat, too "unfinished." Today, it's one of the most important paintings in art history. Meanwhile, the "perfect" paintings that won the medals? Nobody remembers them.In this episode, we're deconstructing the biggest question photographers face: What makes a photo "good"? How do we measure it? Who decides? And why do we keep building portfolios that are technically perfect but emotionally dead?This is the first episode in a new mid-week series called "Basics, Deconstructed" we take the elementary concepts of photography and tear them down until we find the bone.In This Episode:Why technical perfection is the enemy of artThe difference between "High Notes" (sharpness, perfect skin tones) and "Bass Notes" (the blur, the shadow, the grit)What happened when an art buyer tore apart my "perfect" portfolioHow to stop shooting out of fear and start shooting out of soulThe hardest lesson: being shrewd enough to interrupt the performanceKey Quote:"I don't hire photographers to be commercial. I hire technicians to be sharp. I hire photographers to make me feel something."Contact & Support:📧 Email: patrick@terriblephotographer.com (Questions, thoughts, hate mail—I respond to everything.)🎵 Music: epidemicsound.com☕ Support the show: https://www.terriblephotographer.com/support📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terriblephotographer📬 Newsletter (Pub Notes): https://the-terrible-photographer.kit.com/223fe471fb

In this episode, I talk about the question that has been following me around like a stray dog with abandonment issues:“What am I doing wrong?”A late-night Zoom call.A missed phone call that might have cost me a job.Fabric mocking me at 2 AM.Postponing Christmas.Pretending patience is a virtue when really it’s just a financial liability.This one is not a framework or a lesson.It is a confession.A pressure valve.A look at the part of the creative journey nobody posts about because it is messy and embarrassing and makes you question whether you even belong in the room.We get into:Saying yes to work you should have said no toAnxiety disguised as professionalismThe career panic nobody warns you aboutThe gap between what we preach and what we actually doWhat our kids see when we are barely holding it togetherThe tension between craft, performance, and being humanIf you have ever wondered whether you are behind, off-track, or quietly failing your way through your creative life, this episode is for you.Music Provided by:https://www.epidemicsound.comSupport the ShowIf the podcast means something to you, or if it helps you feel a little less alone in this creative circus, you can support the show here:https://www.terriblephotographer.com/supportYour support keeps the lights on, the episodes coming, and the midnight fabric-styling breakdowns to a minimum. Thank you for being part of this.

This is the episode I’ve been avoiding.Not because I don’t have an opinion about AI — but because I have too many feelings about it. Gratitude. Fear. Anger. Wonder. All tangled together.AI has become my external brain — a tool that helps me function, organize, even parent. And at the same time, it’s the thing that might end my career.In this episode, I talk honestly about what Adobe’s new AI tools mean for photographers, artists, and the humans behind the craft. About the moment when “photo editing” turns into “people editing.” And about what we lose when images no longer require someone to be there — to see, to choose, to feel.Because when everything becomes generated, the rarest thing left might just be the real.This isn’t a tech breakdown. It’s a gut check.In This Episode:The paradox of AI as both accessibility and threatAdobe’s new AI tools and what they mean for photographersThe difference between CGI in film and AI in photographyConsent, ethics, and the human line in image manipulationThe fear of becoming irrelevant — and the deeper truth underneathWhy the practice of photography still matters more than the productHow to reclaim your craft in the age of automationFeatured Voices:A few members of The Terrible Community share how AI makes them feel — not what they think about it.“AI is lazy… it’s not intelligent, it’s just reflecting us — all our bias, all our noise — and pretending it’s something new.”Light Leak:Go make something where the practice is the point.Shoot something you’ll never post.Feel the weight of the camera in your hand — that’s what real still feels like.Because that’s the thing they can’t generate.That’s the thing they can’t take from you.Listen If You’ve Ever Thought:“AI is helping me — and that scares me.”“What’s the point of creating when machines can do it faster?”“I’m grateful for this tech… and I hate that I’m grateful.”“I miss when photography still felt like something.”Credits:Written & Narrated by: Patrick ForeProduced by: The Terrible PhotographerCommunity Voicemails: Members of The Terrible ListMusic & Sound Design: Blue Dot SessionsRobots by Flight of the Concords (1-minute)Connect:🖤 terriblephotographer.com🎙️ Leave a voicemail for future episodes: terriblephotographer.com/voicemail📰 Join the newsletter: The Terrible List📸 Instagram: @theterriblephotographer

Episode 34 | November 2025I was in my garage last Tuesday, shooting beef tallow. Yes, beef tallow—jarred cow fat with a marketing department. And while I'm adjusting highlights on solidified animal fat for the fourth time, I'm thinking: I used to shoot for Rolling Stone. What happened?Then my friend Candice texted. An illustrator in St. Louis. I asked how business was going."Everything is a garbage fire out there."And that's when I realized: we're both drowning. But for completely opposite reasons.She doesn't have enough work. I have plenty of work—just the wrong work. And neither of us could shake the feeling that something bigger was happening.So I dug into the data. Economic reports, central bank surveys, and consumer debt studies. And what I found explains why so many freelancers feel like they're either sprinting or sinking right now.The economy didn't just slow down. It split in half.What You'll Learn in This Episode:The Three-Restaurant EconomyWhy Restaurant Two (the middle market) closed and nobody told youWhere the money actually went (and who's still spending)Why some creatives are drowning in commodity work while others have empty calendarsThe Economic Data (Made Human)The US service sector flatlined in September 2025 (ISM hit 50.0)37% of European businesses postponed investment plans84% of people with credit card debt are cutting non-essentialsThe top 20% now account for two-thirds of all consumptionWhat to Actually Do TomorrowHow to audit your clients into three categories (A, B, C)Three questions to ask yourself this weekThe 80/20 split that keeps you saneWhere to find recession-resistant work (even if it's unglamorous)Why Craft Still MattersWhat my daughter Lucy's drawings taught me about showing upMy brother Charlie's legacy (and why it has nothing to do with accolades)Why being strategic doesn't mean becoming cynicalTimestamps:00:00 - Cold Open: Beef Tallow in My Garage08:45 - The Text Message That Changed Everything12:30 - The Three-Restaurant Economy (The Metaphor)18:20 - The Economic Data: What Actually Happened26:15 - Why We're Both Drowning31:40 - Where the Money Actually Is (Three Specific Markets)38:50 - What to Actually Do Tomorrow (Tactical Actions)48:20 - The Productivity Lie (And the Stoic Response)53:10 - The Shadow Question (What Are You Actually Ashamed Of?)58:30 - Why This Still Matters (Lucy, Charlie, and Showing Up)01:06:45 - OutroKey Takeaways:The middle market collapsed. The clients with mid-tier budgets who valued creative work—many of them can't access credit or have cut discretionary spending. That's not a personal failure. That's structural economics.You're either at Restaurant One or Restaurant Three. Commodity work (fast and cheap) or luxury/corporate work (selective and high-end). Restaurant Two is closed.Three sectors are still hiring aggressively: IT (35%), Finance/Real Estate (32%), Healthcare/Life Sciences (28%). Target them.The 80/20 rule saves your sanity: 80% of your energy goes to work that pays bills. 20% goes to work that feeds your soul. Stop trying to make every project be both.Craft matters, even when the client doesn't. Showing up with integrity to unsexy work isn't settling. It's professionalism. And it's what keeps you in the game.Resources Mentioned:Economic Data Sources:ISM Services Index (September 2025)European Central Bank Credit Standards Survey (Q3 2025)Consumer Debt Studies (2025)Strategic Frameworks:Marcus Aurelius on control (Meditations)The 80/20 split for creative sustainabilityThree-category client audit (A/B/C framework)What's Next:If this episode resonated with you, text a fellow creative and ask them: "How are you? Really?" Because the loneliest part of this moment isn't the struggle—it's the belief that you're the only one struggling.And if you want to talk more about navigating the bifurcated creative economy, hit me up on Instagram @patrickfore or email me at patrick@terriblephotographer.comThe garbage fire is real. But so are we.About The Terrible Photographer Podcast:This is a show for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters while also paying rent. We talk about identity, craft, failure, and the absurdity of the creative industry—with radical honesty and zero bullshit.If you're tired of toxic positivity and gear reviews, you're in the right place.More Episodes: http://terriblephotographer.comBook: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming Dec 2025)Credits:Hosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick ForeMusic: Epidemic SoundRecorded in: San Diego, CaliforniaSupport the show: If this episode helped you, the best thing you can do is share it with another creative who needs to hear it. Word of mouth keeps this show alive.

Have you ever shared something you were excited about only to have it met with "yeah, maybe" or "how are you going to monetize that?"In this episode, I sit down with a story that's been eating at me for weeks — a conversation at a coffee shop that revealed something uncomfortable about regret, haunted creatives, and the ghosts of unmade work.This isn't about toxic positivity or hustle culture. It's about understanding the difference between someone who's tired and someone who's haunted. Between love and regret. Between the people who will protect your ideas and the ones who will kill them — often without realizing it.And if I'm honest, it's about recognizing when we become those people ourselves.In This EpisodeThe Coffee Shop Moment A conversation with a photographer friend that starts with excitement and ends with something closer to mourning.The Difference Between Tired and Haunted Why some people poke holes in your ideas — and it has nothing to do with you.Three Faces of HauntingThe perfectionist paralyzed by an impossible visionThe silent avoider who pretends not to see your successThe one with all the resources who just... doesn'tThe Idea Graveyard My own confession: the photo essay about my hometown that will never exist, and what it taught me about shelf life.Love vs. Regret How my wife Jaimi saved me from launching a business I didn't actually want — and how to tell the difference between questions that protect you and questions that undermine you.The Physics of Regret How other people's ghosts create friction that converts your creative momentum into heat, defensiveness, and eventual paralysis.Protecting Your Butterflies Practical strategies for guarding your ideas and building a "Go" list instead of a "Know" list.Key TakeawaysIdeas have a life of their own — and a shelf life. They don't wait for you to be ready."Yeah, maybe" is the sound of a butterfly dying.Tired people say, "I'm exhausted, but that sounds amazing." Haunted people poke holes.The dream can become the cage — perfectionism is just another form of paralysis.Friction is cumulative: each skeptical question converts your creative energy into defensive heat.Most haunted people aren't villains. They're good people carrying ghosts.The only thing worse than starting something and failing is not starting something at all.Quotable Moments"He wasn't trying to kill my idea. He was mourning his own.""When your idea gets that big, that expensive, that unreachable — it becomes a shield. The dream has become the cage.""Ideas have a shelf life. They start fresh, urgent, necessary. Leave them too long, they spoil.""Haunted people ask questions to protect themselves. People who love you ask questions to protect you.""Friction converts kinetic energy into heat. Your momentum gets converted into defensiveness. Your creative energy burns off as anxiety.""The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth Godin"You can't hitch your momentum to parked cars."The Light Leak AssignmentMake two lists:List One: The Haunted People who respond to your excitement with skepticism, apathy, or "yeah, maybe." They don't get access to your butterflies.List Two: The Builders The ones who finish, ship, say "fuck yes," and offer help instead of obstacles. These are your people.Stop pitching to List One. Guard your butterflies. Feed them only to people who still believe they're real.Concepts Explored:Friction (physics)Ideas as living things with shelf livesHaunted vs. tired creativesThe "Go" list vs. "Know" listQuote: "The only thing worse than starting something and failing... is not starting something at all." — Seth GodinConnect With PatrickWebsite: patrickfore.comInstagram: @patrickforePodcast: The Terrible PhotographerBook: Lessons From a Terrible Photographer (coming soon)CreditsHost & Producer: Patrick ForeEpisode Photography: Amy Humphries Find Amy on Instagram: @amyjoyhumphriesMusic Licensed Through:Epidemic SoundBlue Dot SessionsSupport The ShowIf this episode resonated with you, here's how you can help:Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps other people find the showShare this episode with someone who needs to hear itSubscribe so you don't miss future episodesSend me a DM on Instagram and tell me which list you're onA Note From PatrickThis episode has been living in my head for weeks. The coffee shop conversation happened months ago, but it took me this long to understand what it was really about.I hope this gives you permission to protect your ideas. To say "fuck yes" to butterflies when they land on your shoulder. And to stop asking permission from people who stopped saying yes a long time ago.Thanks for being here.Until next Tuesday — stay curious, stay courageous, and yeah, stay terrible.— PatrickThe Terrible Photographer is a podcast for creative humans navigating the messy reality of making work that matters. We don't do hustle culture. We don't do toxic positivity. We do honest conversations about creativity, identity, and finding your voice.

You ever buy a twenty-two-dollar airport sandwich and convinced yourself it was worth it?That’s what this week’s episode is about — except the sandwich is a photography competition.In Gold Star, Patrick unpacks his love-hate relationship with the American Photographic Artists’ Untitled competition — and what it reveals about the creative world’s obsession with approval. From spreadsheets of judges to award-show absurdities like the Oscars and Grammys, this episode digs into why artists still crave validation from systems they don’t even believe in.It’s funny, frustrated, and a little too honest — a meditation on why we keep chasing the gold stars that will never love us back.Featuring a clip from Jim Carrey’s Golden Globes speech, a story about Patrick’s first Houston Addy Award, and a Light Leak that challenges you to make something that doesn’t need anyone’s permission to exist.You’ll hear about:Why creative competitions feel like overpriced validationThe psychology of approval and the decay of validationWhat Jim Carrey can teach us about artistic hungerHow to stop mistaking opportunity for illusionWhy the real reward is the right to keep doing the workMentioned in this episode:American Photographic Artists (APA Untitled Competition)Jim Carrey’s 2016 Golden Globes speechThe Addy Awards (American Advertising Federation)Rick Rubin, Diane Arbus, Van Gogh, Tom SachsLight Leak: The Paradox of the WorkWhat if you stopped making work for judges, algorithms, and invisible audiences — and started making the thing that’s too honest to explain?

Why creatives stay stuck, even when the door’s wide open.We all want freedom. Creative freedom, emotional freedom, professional freedom. But here’s the thing nobody tells you:You can be free… and still live like you’re caged.In this episode, I break down the three invisible cages every creative person ends up pacing:The Industry Cage – tribes, gear cults, status games, and the performance of “real” photographer-nessThe Creative Cage – safety disguised as style, repetition disguised as voice, consistency as comfortThe Personal Cage – the scariest one of all: the refusal to put yourself in the workIt starts with a pacing lioness in San Diego, makes a detour through childhood Masonic mystery, and ends in a gallery in LA with a man named Jesse and a story I still can’t shake.If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own success, your style, your niche, or your silence… this one’s for you.Light Leak Assignment:Choose your cage.Take one honest step outside it.Before the week ends.No excuses.Listen if you’ve ever said:“I feel like I’m just doing the same thing over and over.”“I’m scared to change because I finally found something that works.”“I don’t know how to put myself in my work.”Support the Show:This show is 100% listener-supported, which means I’m not selling presets, funnel hacks, or “ten ways to make six figures with your camera.”But if the episode made you feel something — if it helped you name the cage — I’d love your support.👉 terriblephotographer.com/supportThree amazing humans have already joined. Be the fourth. Let’s get weird and honest together.Episode Topics:Cult psychology and the photo industryThe seduction of gear tribes and online identityWhy consistency might be killing your creativityWhat we’re really afraid of when we avoid vulnerabilityThe lioness who still walks her old cageWhat Jesse taught me in a room full of polite creatives🔗 Other Mentions:Episode 28: The Tyranny of Okay – Why Most Creative Work is Just work (I actually listed this as Episode 27 in the episode, but it's Episode 28)Terror, Love, and Brainwashing by Alexandra SteinThe Boxcar Children (yes, really)The real cost of not evolvingStay curious. Stay courageous. And yeah… stay terrible.

A milestone. And maybe the most uncomfortable episode I've made so far.A few weeks ago, I sent an email to thirty photographers I know. I asked them one question: What's your dirty little secret? The thing you'd never admit publicly. The thought that lives in the back of your brain at 3 AM.I told them it would be anonymous. I just wanted the truth.And I got a lot of responses.This episode is about those secrets. The ones we carry alone. The ones that make us feel like frauds, or failures, or like we've made a massive mistake.Some of these might be mine. I'm not telling you which ones.But they're all real. And if you've thought any of them, you're not alone.The Eight SecretsThe Gatekeeping - "I resent [X] photographers and think I'm better than them."The Copycat - "I don't know how to make anything original."The Performance - "I'm not as busy as I make it look."The House of Cards - "I'm one accident away from losing everything."The Golden Handcuffs - "I would walk away if I could afford it."The Minimum Effort - "I'm just trying to get the work out the door."The Burnout - "I don't care about photography anymore."The Long Game - "I'm terrified I won't be able to retire."Mentioned in This EpisodeLeslie's Podcast: Niche to Meet YouA great show about finding your creative lane. Check it out.Support The ShowThis show costs money to make—hosting fees, software, time. If you're getting value from it and want to help keep it going, you can support the show here:terriblephotographer.com/supportThe show's free. It's staying free. But if you want to chip in, I appreciate it.Stay Connected📸 Instagram: @terriblephotographer📧 Newsletter: Subscribe to PubNotes🌐 Website: terriblephotographer.comCreditsMusic:Licensed through Blue Dot Sessions"Secret" by The PiercesHosted, Written, and Produced by: Patrick ForeYour TurnWrite down one secret. One thing you've never said out loud. Not for Instagram. Not for anyone else. Just for you.Take it out of the dark and look at it in the light.You don't have to solve it. You just have to stop pretending it's not there.If this episode resonated with you, share it with another creative who needs to hear it. And if you want to support the show, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps more than you know.

Have you ever had a day where you told yourself you were “busy”… but couldn’t actually remember what you did? I know I have. Hours lost to scrolling, inboxes, half-finished tasks — and somehow at the end of it, I’m exhausted but nothing’s really done.In this episode of The Terrible Photographer Podcast, I go after the two liars in my head who keep me trapped in that fake middle ground:Hustle Harry — the voice that shames you into guilt if you’re not grinding nonstop.Lazy Laura — the voice that convinces you procrastination counts as rest.Neither one delivers real work. Neither one delivers real rest. And both are lying to us.Instead, I want to talk about presence — the kind my Border Collie, Loki, embodies every time he drops into that crouch and locks onto a tennis ball like it owes him money. Which leads to…⏱️ The Light Leak (36:40): The Loki Method — a simple, one-task-at-a-time rebellion against hustle culture and procrastination. Full attention, sacred focus, and real rest are scheduled like it actually matters.This episode is about rediscovering focus, dignity in the ordinary, and finding a way to work present instead of just working harder.If you’ve ever felt stuck between fake productivity and fake rest, this one’s for you.Music provided by Blue Dot Sessions

What if the most radical thing you can say about your creative work is: it’s okay?In this episode, Patrick dives into the beige middle of creative life — the 80% of days that aren’t fireworks or disasters. He tears into LinkedIn’s toxic lobster-and-champagne highlight reel, confesses his late-night burger-level Photoshop grinds, and introduces us to Sarah, a catering coordinator who redefined what “ordinary work” can mean.Along the way you’ll hear:Why “do what you love and you’ll never work a day” is weapons-grade bullshitThe LinkedIn Lobster Problem: how performative self-promotion makes our Tuesdays feel like failureSarah’s story — the quiet hero who showed Patrick what it means to find dignity in the ordinaryStoic wisdom on work, meaning, and why you are more than your jobThe burger vs. lobster framework for understanding creative life (and why burgers matter more than we admit)This isn’t an episode about settling. It’s about survival, dignity, and gratitude for the work that keeps us human.The tyranny was never that work is ordinary. The tyranny was believing ordinary wasn’t enough.👉 Listen if: you’ve ever felt guilty for not loving every second of your “dream job,” or you’re tired of pretending passion is renewable.👉 Stay for: a story that will make you grateful for the burger on your plate.Resources & MentionsViktor Frankl, Man’s Search for MeaningEpictetus & Marcus Aurelius, on the dignity of ordinary workSimone Weil, on attention as generosityConnect with PatrickThe Terrible Photographer NewsletterInstagramCreditsEpisode photo by Amirali MirhashemianMusic licensed through Blue Dot Sessions

A New York–based commercial portrait photographer (big clients, covers, immaculate work) asked to talk. What came out wasn’t a portfolio review—it was a confession: he hasn’t made anything for himself in over a year, and he’s exhausted from performing passion he doesn’t feel. This episode is a permission slip for the photographers—and all creative workers—secretly pricing escape routes at 2 a.m. We talk about the unsaid epidemic of burnout, the grief under AI “efficiency,” and three practical permissions to help you stop performing and start feeling again. If you need someone to say it: you’re allowed to quit the version of creativity that’s killing you.What you’ll hearThe “booked and blessed” performance vs. the honest reality of burnoutWhy so many photographers feel like they’re always “rushing or dragging” (yes, that scene)AI grief: mourning the death of mystery without romanticizing gatekeepingThree permissions:Quit the job that killed the artist (without quitting art)Be mediocre while you remember why you startedCreate for yourself firstA one-week “Light Leak” experiment to rekindle curiosity—no audience allowedChapter guide00:00 — Cold Open: The Zoom call that said the quiet part out loud03:40 — Intro: Why honesty feels dangerous in our industry08:10 — Act I: The Unspoken Pandemic (burnout as a system problem)13:30 — Whiplash Clip: “Rushing or dragging?” (context + reflection)15:10 — Act II: AI Grief (loss of mystery, craft vs. club, why cracks matter)23:40 — Music Moment: Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” and the beauty in brokenness26:10 — Vivian Maier: Calling vs. career; imperfect images that breathe31:20 — Act III: The Three Permissions (with Campbell & practical frames)39:30 — Light Leak: The 7-day private-making experiment43:15 — Close: Choosing living over performing (and why the camera will wait)Times are approximate—use them as chapters in your host.The Light Leak (listener assignment)For the next 7 days, make one thing a day that no one sees but you. No posting, no portfolio, no feedback. Just curiosity. If you want to break the rules publicly, tag #StayTerrible—but the real win is remembering what it feels like to make without an audience.Pull quotes“You can quit being a photographer without quitting photography.”“Maybe your creative career needs to die so your creative voice can live.”“We’re mourning the death of mystery—and that grief is real.”“You were an artist before you had an audience. You still are.”Resources & referencesWhiplash (2014) — “Rushing or dragging?” rehearsal-room clipFinding Vivian Maier (2013) — trailer & storyJohnny Cash — “Hurt” (cover of Nine Inch Nails)Johnny Paycheck — “Take This Job and Shove It”Joseph Campbell — ego death/transformation arc (Hero’s Journey themes)Rick Rubin — strategic elimination (remove what doesn’t serve the truth)Music & audio credit“Take This Job and Shove It” — Johnny Paycheck (used ~60s after intro)“Hurt” — Johnny Cash (used ~30s for commentary)Film clip: “Rushing or Dragging” from Whiplash (brief excerpt for critique)Trailer audio: Finding Vivian Maier (brief excerpt for commentary)Additional music provided and licensed through Green Dot SessionsAll third-party audio remains the property of its respective rights holders; brief excerpts are used under fair use for commentary/critique.Episode Photography by Filip Mroz | UnsplashWho this episode is forCommercial photographers, portrait shooters, freelancers, art directors, and any creative who’s tired of performing passion while running on empty—and needs permission to step off the treadmill without abandoning their voice.Stay connectedIf this hit a nerve, share it with one photographer who needs the permission too.Newsletter & Field Notes: terriblephotographer.comIG: @terriblephotographer • @patrickforeBusiness inquiries & notes: patrick@patrickfore.com