Chai Me A River with Shane Lamba

Brown boys can send n*des in 0.2 seconds, but ask us to say “I’m not okay” and suddenly it’s impossible.In this episode, I dive into the messy, hilarious, and painfully relatable reasons why vulnerability still feels illegal for so many Brown men — especially queer South Asian men trying to survive culture, community, and club culture at the same time.I unpack why we were raised to be stoic, “strong,” and emotionally silent in conservative desi households… only to grow up performing masc online, hiding our softness, and pretending everything is fine while our group chats say otherwise.We get into:✨ Why Brown men fear emotional honesty more than sending nudes✨ How conservative Indian norms teach boys to shut down feelings early✨ “Masc” performance in queer spaces — even when you’re secretly femme✨ The mentally ill desi struggle: attachment issues, chaos, over-functioning✨ Grindr-at-the-club culture and the fear of being seen as “too much”✨ The disconnect between online façades vs. real emotional needs✨ How queerness exposes the cracks — and offers softness as a way outThis is part cultural critique, part chaotic storytelling, part group therapy for Brown boys who pretend they don’t need group therapy.If you’ve ever been the “strong” son, the masc-coded queer, the emotionally constipated Brown adult, or the gay at the club scrolling through Grindr while dissociating… this one’s for you.

In this episode of Chai Me A River, I watched Wicked For Good, and yes, it had me GOONING for good. I break down the movie’s biggest themes, from Glinda’s people-pleasing perfection, to Elphaba’s “othered” identity, to why these characters hit so deeply for queer, brown, and Desi viewers.I talk about how Wicked reflects real experiences of cultural expectations, belonging, and identity pressure, why some of us grow up as Glindas, and why Elphaba’s defiance still resonates. Plus: Michelle Yeoh doing tai chi, the politics of being “good,” and the Desi struggle of trying to fit roles that were never made for us.If you love musical commentary, pop culture analysis, queer perspectives, Desi identity conversations, or chaotic overthinking with heart — this episode is for you.

In this episode of Chai Me A River, two besties grab their mugs and spill way more than coffee. Toni is back to spill his CHAI from people who use too much cream in their coffee to talking politics, dissecting ugly older boyfriends, and health fads. We’re oversharing and over-pouring in all the right ways.It’s the perfect blend of queer humor, social commentary, and unfiltered friendship energy with a dash of existential dread and hot girl superiority. ☕ Topics we cover:Coffee crimes & chaotic caffeine habitsOversharing and office politicsUgly boyfriends & questionable tasteHealth fads, self-care, and anxietyTalking shiet (lovingly, of course)If you love relatable rants, hot takes, and queer friendship banter, this episode’s your cup of chai.💬 Subscribe for more weekly overshares about identity, relationships, and modern absurdities.#lgbtq #queerpodcast #comedypodcast #oversharing #talkingshit #toomuchcream #notenoughtaste #bestiespodcast #overcaffeinated #mentalhealth #anxiety #dating #relationships #healthfads #popculture

The ghouls were out this Halloween, but some gays are still in 🫣. This HalloHoeWeen special dives deep into queer life’s funniest and most haunting realities... from closet culture and (pea)cocking at the mall to why people keep soft-launching their boyfriends online.It’s equal parts humor, heartbreak, and self-reflection — unpacking identity, internalized shame, and the absurdities of queer dating in 2025.🎃 Tune in for laughs, light, and maybe a little liberation.Keywords (Spotify SEO): queer podcast, LGBTQ humor, gay culture, identity, self-acceptance, closet culture, gay dating, pride, bisexual podcast, queer Indian, lgbtq storytelling, Halloween special

Diwali is about light over darkness — but for many of us, that light comes from within.In The Gay Diwali Episode: Light, Liberation & Letting Go, I talk about what it means to celebrate the festival of lights as a queer South Asian — the struggle to feel represented, the resilience it takes to exist authentically, and the beauty of finally letting go of expectations that don’t serve you.This episode is a reflection on identity, healing, and self-liberation — with humor, honesty, and heart. ✨🎇 Part 1 of my Diwali series — stay tuned for Part 2.

Grab your chai — because this one’s spicy. 🌶️ In Tortillas y Naan: Being Latino, Gay, and Proud, Shane welcomes his best friend Toni for a heartfelt and unfiltered convo on growing up gay and Latino, surviving relationships, dating apps gone wrong, and carving out pride in a world full of stereotypes.This episode is equal parts funny, messy, and moving — touching on culture, queerness, love, familia, and identity in ways only two best friends over chai could.Whether you’re here for the laughs, the chisme, or the deeper truths about being brown and queer, Toni’s story will stick with you. 🌈

What does it mean to be a good Punjabi boy when you’re bisexual? In this episode, Shane breaks down the stereotypes, tropes, and cultural expectations that come with being queer and South Asian. From the “DL/masc” obsession to navigating family traditions, this is an honest exploration of bisexuality through a Punjabi lens.Part identity talk, part cultural unpacking, part hot takes—this one is for anyone who’s ever questioned what it means to hold multiple identities at once.✨ Topics include:The stereotypes and tropes about bisexualityPunjabi and South Asian cultural expectationsFamily, queerness, and identity politicsMasculinity, queerness, and the pressure to conform💬 Share your story in the comments: What does being bisexual or queer mean to you in your culture?#Bisexual #Punjabi #SouthAsianQueer #QueerStories #ChaiMeARiverPodcast #BisexualRepresentation #QueerPodcast

Are we only queer when we have sex? 🌈 Too often, queer identity gets reduced to hookups, stereotypes, and hypersexual tropes — but is that really who we are? In this unfiltered episode of Chai Me a River, Shane takes on the catch-22 of queer identity: how society boxes us into being “too sexual” or “not queer enough” if sex isn’t part of our story. From labels and politics to intimacy, chosen family, and what it really means to live authentically, this conversation peels back the layers of identity beyond the bedroom.💬 Topics we spill tea on:The myth that queer = only about sexWhat makes us “queer enough”How intimacy, love, and culture shape identityBreaking free from stereotypes and heteronormative expectationsThis one’s for the girls, gays, theys, and allies questioning what queer identity really means in 2025. 🔥#QueerIdentity #QueerPodcast #LGBTQCommunity #QueerEnough #LGBTQPodcast

🚨 DL men don’t exist, marriage equality is under attack, and toxic gay masculinity is out of control in 2025. Shane spills the hottest queer takes you won’t hear anywhere else. 🌈🔥It’s 2025, and Shane is back with another bold, unfiltered podcast episode diving into the messy, hilarious, and sometimes infuriating world of LGBTQ+ culture, queer identity, and marriage equality in America. From calling out the myth of DL (downlow) men to exposing performative “fake masc” energy, this episode takes a hard look at how toxic masculinity and heteronormative expectations still shape queer lives.We unpack:The future of LGBTQ+ marriage equality and threats to queer rightsThe illusion of the DL lifestyle and why “DL men” aren’t realGay men archetypes and the obsession with being hyper-masculineFitness influencers, body image, and queer masculinityThe married-with-children pipeline in a heteronormative worldWhy queer people deserve to live, love, and thrive unapologeticallyThis is the podcast for the girls, gays, theys, and allies who are tired of shrinking themselves to fit into outdated roles. Whether you’re here for queer commentary, hot takes on gay culture, or raw conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, this episode delivers.If you’ve been searching for queer podcasts, LGBTQ+ commentary, or unfiltered discussions on love, identity, and culture, you’ll feel right at home here.✨ Subscribe for more episodes on queer culture, identity politics, LGBTQ+ relationships, and life in 2025. (⁠ / @chaimeariver ) Follow me on social media: TikTok: ⁠@chai.me.a.river ⁠ // ⁠ @punjabipapii21⁠Instagram:⁠ @shanelamba21LINKS TO PUBLICATIONS:GallUp Study on Same-Sex Marriage Sentiments: https://news.gallup.com/poll/646202/s....RAND Study:https://www.rand.org/pubs/research_re....#lgbtqpodcast #QueerCulture #MarriageEquality #GayCulture #ToxicMasculinity #QueerIdentity #DLMen #LGBTQ2025 #GayPodcast #QueerHotTakes

In this bold and unfiltered episode, Shane Lamba spills the hottest chai on queer dating, brown identity, and friendship drama. From “no fats, no femmes” bios to the pastel-washed aesthetic takeover, we’re calling out loser men, corporate Pride bailouts, and the myth of being "booked and busy" as a personality.Topics include:• Queer dating preferences vs internalized bias• Brown friendship breakups and accountability• Straight Pride, Project 2025, and LGBTQ rights under threat• Burnout glamor and why rest still feels radical• A reminder that your softness, queerness, and full feelings deserve spaceThis one’s for the girls, gays, and theys who are tired of shrinking to fit. Sip carefully.Keywords: queer podcast, LGBTQ+ hot takes, brown queer identity, friendship drama, masc4masc, Pride politics, burnout, South Asian queer, dating culture, self-worth.Subscribe to my podcast via YouTube: (https://www.youtube.com/@ShaneLamba) Follow me on social media: TikTok: @chai.me.a.river // @punjabipapii21Instagram: @shanelamba21

What does it mean to feel proud when the world taught you to hide? In this episode of Chai Me A River, we explore queer self-acceptance, internalized shame, and the slow, radical act of building pride from the inside out. From the quiet victories to the loud celebrations, host Shane unpacks the journey of being brown and proud, navigating identity, and practicing pride as resistance, not just during Pride Month, but every day after.Whether you're still coming into your queerness, unlearning generational silence, or reclaiming joy on your own terms, this one’s for you.💬 Topics: LGBTQ+ pride, queer mental health, South Asian identity, coming out, self-love, radical rest, internalized homophobia.Follow me on social media below:Instagram: @shanelamba21TikTok: @punjabipapii21 & @chai.me.a.river

Why do so many of us try to be extra everything, extra straight, extra successful, extra unbothered, just to prove we belong? In this episode, Shane gets real about bisexuality, awkward coming outs, and what it means to be queer and Indian in spaces that don’t always understand either. From overcompensating in college to finally embracing softness, desire, and self-worth, this is a messy, funny, and honest exploration of identity and the armor we learn to wear.Whether you're questioning, healing, or just here for the emotional rollercoaster with chai, Chai Me A River brings big feelings with bite.🎙️ Keywords: queer identity, bisexual podcast, LGBTQ+ coming out, Indian queer stories, college and identity, queer podcast funny, chai me a river, queer South Asian, overcompensating

Why are so many queer spaces obsessed with being "man enough"? In this spicy and soulful episode of Chai Me A River, Shane unpacks hypermasculinity in gay culture from masc4masc and muscle gays at the pool party, to how brown queer men navigate toxic masculinity, internalized homophobia, and racialized desire. We get into dating app tropes, gym culture, emotional repression, and the fear behind the façade. If you’ve ever been told to “act straight,” “be a man,” or felt invisible for being too femme, too brown, or too soft, this one's for you.🎧 Topics: gay dating culture, queer masculinity, toxic masculinity, masc4masc, body image, internalized homophobia, queer POC identity, South Asian queer experience, muscle gays, emotional vulnerability, queer friendship dynamics.Articles referenced: Taking Off the Masc - Harvard Policy Review.

Join host Shane Lamba and guests to explore what it means to be all of your identities in one bundle. Shane will explore his identity as someone who is Indian American, 3rd generation, bisexual, and is overall a lot. Each week you can expect raw conversations, opinions, and perspectives about identity, love, desire, relationships, family, mental health, and just the drama of being queer and everything in between. Follow Shane on social media:Instagram: @ShaneLamba21Tiktok: @Chai.Me.A.River / @Punjabipapii21

Can you really be just friends with someone you’ve seen naked? Or spooned at 2am and then ghosted by Tuesday?In this episode, we’re wading into the murky waters of friends, friends with benefits, and the spicy gray area where things get platonic, erotic, and chaotic!! From emotional disclaimers to unspoken expectations, I unpack the messy magic (and mayhem) of intimacy without labels.We’ll talk about:The blurry line between friendship and sexGay/bi dynamics, emotional hangovers, and “no strings” liesWhat happens when one of you catches feelings — or catches a vibe and disappearsWhether you’ve survived a situationship or are still crying into your chai about one, this episode is for you.Sip up. It’s getting personal. ☕💋💔

Do you take PrEP? Got the COVID-19 vaccine? Like clean water? Buckle your seatbelt when a cop drives by?Congrats, babe—you’re part of a public health strategy.In this episode, I’m kicking off my new mini-series Public Health Papi by breaking down what public health actually is—and why it deserves main character energy. We’re talking pandemics, seatbelt laws, political drama, and why public health is the invisible force behind the scenes… until it fails.Public health isn’t just hand-washing posters and boring charts—it’s community care at scale. It’s who gets clean air, who has access to care, and who gets left behind when systems are broken by design.Grab your chai (iced if you’re a little chaotic) and let’s unpack how public health shapes everything—from the air we breathe to the rights we fight for.Follow me on socials: Instagram (@shanelamba21) & Tiktok (@chai.me.a.river). Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share with someone who enjoys hearing more about public health.

Ever been everyone’s cultural touchpoint and nobody’s actual person? In this episode, Shane spills the chai on what it’s like to be the token Indian man at the gay bar—not just among white gays in mesh tops, but also in brown queer spaces where being yourself still somehow makes you “other.” From being someone’s ethnic awakening to getting side-eyed for not performing your culture the “right” way, we’re unpacking the weird, wobbly space between visibility and belonging. It’s funny, uncomfortable, and honestly a little too real. Because if one more brown guy asks me if I speak Hindi, I will LOSE it.Follow me on socials: Instagram (@shanelamba21) & Tiktok (@chai.me.a.river). Don't forget to subscribe, rate and share with someone who enjoys hearing more about being brown and kookie.

Dating apps are a mess. In this episode, Shane spirals lovingly through queer dating fatigue, from swiping till your thumbs hurt to realizing you’re just a "vibe" in someone’s situationship. He tackles the illusion of infinite options, the ache of feeling like a placeholder, and the line between love and validation — all while being a Brown bisexual man in a sea of bias. This one's for anyone who's ever been ghosted, tokenized, or just tired of pretending to “look” without looking too thirsty.Spoiler: The apps may not see you, but this podcast does.Follow me on socials: Instagram (@shanelamba21) & Tiktok (@chai.me.a.river). Don't forget to subscribe, rate and share with someone who enjoys hearing more about being brown and kookie.

Shane spirals (lovingly) through identity imposter syndrome: not Indian enough, not bi enough, not chill at all. From cultural side-eyes to queer confusion, he asks the question no BuzzFeed quiz can answer — are we ever truly enough? Spoiler: yes. But the journey? It’s giving chaos, cvnt, and character growth.Follow me on socials: Instagram (@shanelamba21) & Tiktok (@chai.me.a.river). Don't forget to subscribe, rate and share with someone who enjoys hearing more about being brown and kookie.

In this debut episode, Shane unpacks the bizarre, exhausting, and oddly familiar experience of being everything but recognized for who he is. From being mistaken for Middle Eastern to feeling invisible in queer spaces, this episode dives into misidentification, cultural erasure, and the quiet ache of never quite being seen for who you are. Equal parts spicy and sincere, it’s a chai-fueled reflection on identity, queerness, and carving space where there isn’t any.Follow me on socials: Instagram (@shanelamba21) & Tiktok (@chai.me.a.river). Don't forget to subscribe, rate and share with someone who enjoys hearing more about being brown and kookie.