The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast

Rizz gets his own garlic bread-scented soap, accidentally turns a free dinner into a $20 parking violation, and celebrates his birthday while Florida Man continues doing things that should probably be illegal in several additional states.Welcome to another completely ridiculous edition of The Rizzuto Show, the St. Louis funny podcast where the food is questionable, the celebrity news is even more questionable, and Moon Valjean is somehow allowed to give people advice during a trivia game.Rizzuto, Moon Valjean, Lern, King Scott, and the gang are back with a massive helping of daily comedy, weird news, rock music nostalgia, celebrity gossip, gaming chaos, St. Louis entertainment, and the kind of conversations that make comedy podcasts the perfect way to avoid thinking about your actual responsibilities.Today's menu includes garlic bread body soap, a husband who mistakes spaghetti sauce for chili, GTA 6 threatening to devour your gaming console, Florida Man headlines involving frozen ribs and live turtles, a downtown St. Louis food hall, a parking ticket nobody can stop arguing about, and a 97-year-old man whose final birthday party features the most ironic Bee Gees soundtrack imaginable.And somehow, that's still not everything.Happy Birthday, Rizzy! Now Please Smell Like Garlic BreadIt's Rizz's birthday, and apparently the universe has decided that the best way to celebrate is by turning him into a walking Italian restaurant.Anthony and Christina Baer from Barenaked Naturals send the crew handmade tallow soaps, including a full year's supply of a special custom scent created just for Rizz.Naturally, everybody starts guessing what Scott Rizzuto should smell like.Moon suggests lasagna.Lern goes with tiramisu.Someone suggests the streets of New York, which apparently smell like cigarette dust, garbage, and sewer steam.All reasonable choices.But the big reveal?Garlic bread.That's right. Rizz now owns enough garlic bread-scented soap to shower like an Olive Garden appetizer for the foreseeable future.The crew passes it around, and everybody is genuinely surprised by how realistic it smells.Lern says it has a nice floral finish.Moon is impressed by the intensity.Rizz accepts his destiny as an Italian stereotype with excellent personal hygiene.And somewhere, a vampire just canceled its plans to visit St. Louis.Spaghetti Sauce Is Not Chili, SirSpeaking of questionable Italian cuisine, Rizz shares a viral story about a husband who completely misunderstands dinner.His wife prepares spaghetti and sauce.The husband sees a bowl of chunky red food.He eats the entire thing.And only after finishing does he ask whether it was chili.It was not chili.It was spaghetti sauce.The pasta was right there.The crew immediately starts debating whether this is actually understandable.Moon argues that sometimes you see food and simply begin eating it.Lern thinks chunky sauce could easily pass for soup.Rizz wonders how many other husbands are wandering around their kitchens eating ingredients that were never intended to be separate meals.It's the kind of everyday stupidity that keeps comedy podcasts in business.No scandal required.Just one hungry man and a complete misunderstanding of how pasta works.Rafe's Blind Taste Test Might Require Medical SupervisionThen the gang remembers that Rafe lost the NFL Pick 'Em challenge.And because this is The Rizzuto Show, the punishment isn't simply admitting defeat.It's eating mystery food while blindfolded.The crew begins planning Tuesday's blind taste test, and the suggestions are already concerning.Rizz wants to establish some ground rules.Nothing dangerous.Nothing excessively spicy.No onions.And preferably nothing that's going to require an emergency room visit.Lern, meanwhile, has decided to focus on texture.Which might be the most terrifying thing anybody says all morning.Moon wonders whether combining multiple ingredients would be allowed.Rizz reminds everyone that Rafe actually needs to identify what he's eating.Then somebody starts discussing frozen raw chicken.Absolutely not.The best part is that comedy legend Yakov Smirnoff is expected to visit the studio that same morning.Rizz thinks it would be hilarious to let Yakov feed Rafe during the challenge.Imagine traveling to St. Louis for a radio interview and discovering you've been recruited to administer a mystery-food punishment.What a country, indeed.Florida Man Is Back, and He's Brought a TurtleNext up, it's time for Fake News or Florida, the listener game where the headlines are so ridiculous that even the made-up ones sound believable.Callers compete for tickets to see Three Days Grace, Wage War, 311, and Alter Bridge.The challenge?Determine which bizarre stories actually came from Florida and which ones Lern invented.The lineup includes a man allegedly throwing guacamole at his wife during an argument about chips, somebody attempting to pay for fast food with a live turtle, a woman using a toaster as a weapon during a laundromat dispute, and a man riding a motorized cooler down an interstate.Then things get worse.A store clerk allegedly gets hit with a frozen rack of ribs.A man supposedly hides from police inside a commercial washing machine.A dog allegedly shifts a truck into gear and sends it crashing into a swimming pool.And somebody in Key West gets arrested while riding a motorized suitcase and enjoying a coconut cocktail.Honestly, at this point, Florida should just start issuing helmets at the state line.Moon Valjean: The Lifeline Nobody Should TrustThe listeners have one major advantage during Fake News or Florida.They can ask Moon for help.Unfortunately, that's also their biggest disadvantage.Moon approaches every headline like a detective who has spent 30 years studying criminal behavior in the Sunshine State.He analyzes bird ownership expenses to determine whether somebody would steal a golf cart to walk a parrot.He questions whether Florida police would actually arrest someone riding a motorized cooler.He considers the geography of grocery store aisles when evaluating an alleged frozen-waffle attack.And then comes the motorized suitcase.Moon decides the coconut cocktail makes the story sound suspicious.Not the suitcase.Not the public roadway.The coconut.He confidently calls fake news.He's wrong.The caller loses.And Moon immediately explains that he can't be expected to do all the work for everybody.Lern would like to remind him that he was literally the lifeline.Eventually, Amanda wins Three Days Grace tickets, and the gang can finally stop pretending this is a legitimate test of critical thinking.If you've been browsing comedy podcasts hoping to hear a grown man explain why a coconut beverage invalidates an otherwise believable Florida arrest, congratulations.You have found your show.The Great Key Lime Pie Debate & National Nachos DayOne fake Florida headline involves a woman allegedly calling 911 because her grocery store ran out of key lime pie.Naturally, the game comes to a screeching halt while everybody discusses dessert.Moon thinks key lime pie is a perfect introductory pie.Rizz considers it an acquired taste.Lern defends the tart, creamy combination and starts discussing whether she should bring one to Thanksgiving.Costco enters the conversation.So does the St. Louis favorite Tippin's.And somehow, the gang turns a fake emergency call into a surprisingly passionate pie discussion.Later, Rizz announces that it's National Nachos Day.Finally, a holiday worth celebrating.He shares the story of Ignacio “Nacho” Anaya, who created the original nachos in Mexico in 1943 by combining fried tortilla pieces, cheese, and jalapeños for a group of hungry customers.Lern is delighted to learn that nachos were named after an actual person.Moon suggests using an old saxophone as a nacho-serving container.Because apparently eating chips out of a normal bowl is too mainstream.The crew also discusses National Saxophone Day, National Jersey Friday, National Fountain Pen Day, and National Love Your Lawyer Day.But let's be clear.Nachos win.Nachos always win.GTA 6 Is Coming for Your Hard DriveThe conversation shifts from food to gaming when Rizz discusses the enormous anticipation surrounding Grand Theft Auto VI.The crew talks about the reported November release date, preorder downloads, and the possibility that gamers will be skipping school or work to play.Rizz's son is already excited enough that a senior skip day comes up.But the real concern is the game's reported storage requirement.212 gigabytes.That's not a video game.That's a digital eviction notice.For somebody with a 500-gigabyte console, GTA 6 could take up a massive chunk of available storage.King Scott starts thinking about what he'll need to delete.Moon discusses gaming computers, hardware upgrades, and the differences between PC and console gaming.Lern admits she's completely out of the loop.And Rizz tries to understand why a video game now requires more storage than some people's entire digital lives.The crew also debates whether Rockstar even needs to advertise a game that practically everybody already knows about.One thing's certain.If GTA 6 lives up to the hype discussed on the show, productivity is going to take a serious hit.Peaches Come From a Can, and Apparently Nobody Remembers ThatThen it's time for a musical memory test.The crew revisits a viral-style trivia challenge involving classic song lyrics.Previously, the question was when Corey Hart wore his sunglasses.This time, it's about "Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States of America.Where do the peaches come from?Some people guess Georgia.Others vaguely remember the song.And several people who were alive during the band's heyday somehow can't remember the answer.Eventually, the gang lands on the famous canned-peaches lyric and launches into a nostalgic discussion of '90s alternative rock.Rizz remembers seeing the band live.Moon recalls playing on a bill with them in Phoenix during a wild storm.Lern wonders wheth

A man eats an entire bowl of spaghetti sauce thinking it's chili, somebody in Florida allegedly attacks a store clerk with frozen ribs, and Rafe is about to discover why losing an NFL picks contest is a terrible idea. Happy birthday, Rizzy!Welcome back to The Rizzuto Show, the St. Louis funny podcast where the headlines sound fake, the fake headlines sound completely reasonable, and even a harmless conversation about nachos somehow becomes a history lesson.Rizzuto, Moon Valjean, Lern, King Scott, and the gang are celebrating Rizz's birthday with another round of ridiculous food stories, questionable Florida news, listener giveaways, and the kind of sarcastic humor that keeps comedy podcasts interesting.And today, the state of Florida is doing an absolutely heroic amount of heavy lifting.A Bowl of Spaghetti Sauce Is Apparently Dinner NowFirst up, Rizz shares a viral video about a husband who apparently doesn't understand how spaghetti works.His wife makes spaghetti and sauce.Normal dinner.Perfectly reasonable.Except the husband grabs an entire bowl of sauce and eats it.No pasta.No noodles.Just sauce.He finishes the whole thing before asking his wife a very important question:That wasn't chili, was it?No, buddy.No, it wasn't.The crew immediately starts defending him, because apparently chunky pasta sauce can look a little like soup if you're hungry enough and aren't paying particularly close attention.Moon understands the mentality.Sometimes you see a bowl of food, assume somebody has prepared it for you, and start eating.Questions are for later.Lern thinks it's hilarious.Rizz figures this could happen in practically any household.And somewhere, an Italian grandmother just felt a disturbance in the force.It's the kind of domestic disaster that reminds us why comedy podcasts don't always need celebrity scandals or elaborate stunts.Sometimes all you need is one man, one bowl, and absolutely no understanding of dinner.Rafe's Blind Taste Test Is Already Becoming a Health ConcernThen the crew remembers something very important.Rafe lost the NFL Pick 'Em challenge.And because losing a football prediction contest on this show apparently means surrendering your dignity, Rafe now has to participate in a blind taste test.The punishment is scheduled for Tuesday.Everybody gets to bring something for him to eat.And the planning is already concerning.Rizz wants to establish some basic safety rules.No onions.Nothing dangerously spicy.And preferably nothing that's going to send Rafe to the emergency room.Lern has other priorities.She's focusing on texture.Which is somehow much more terrifying.Moon starts asking whether he can combine ingredients into something even more confusing.Rizz reminds everyone that Rafe actually needs to be able to guess what he's eating.Then the possibility of feeding him frozen raw chicken enters the conversation.Thankfully, somebody remembers that food poisoning is generally considered bad radio.The best part?Comedy legend Yakov Smirnoff is expected to be visiting the show that same morning.And Rizz thinks it would be wonderful if Yakov helped feed Rafe during the challenge.Imagine showing up for a perfectly normal radio interview and discovering you're now responsible for putting mystery food into another grown man's mouth.Welcome to The Rizzuto Show, Yakov.What a country.Fake News or Florida: The Headlines Are Getting WorseNext, it's time for Fake News or Florida, the game where listeners have to decide whether Lern is reading an actual Florida headline or something the show completely invented.Two correct answers out of three wins concert tickets.And the prizes are pretty solid: Three Days Grace, Wage War, 311, and Alter Bridge.The problem?Florida has made it almost impossible to tell what's real anymore.The headlines include a man allegedly throwing guacamole at his wife during an argument over chips.A man supposedly stealing a golf cart because he was too tired to walk his pet parrot.Someone trying to pay for fast food with a live turtle.A woman allegedly using a toaster as a weapon during a laundromat dispute.And a guy riding a motorized cooler down the middle of an interstate.At this point, the only unbelievable thing would be a Florida resident quietly going about their day without involving a reptile, a kitchen appliance, or a motorized beverage container.Listeners call in from Hazelwood, Arnold, and around the St. Louis area, hoping to win tickets and avoid the embarrassment of trusting Moon Valjean.Because Moon is the official lifeline.And whatever Moon says is binding.No backsies.This is a terrible system.Which, naturally, makes it perfect for a comedy show.Moon Valjean: The World's Most Confident Wrong AnswerMoon approaches every headline like a detective who has absolutely no evidence but a tremendous amount of confidence.A man steals a golf cart to walk a parrot?Moon analyzes the cost of bird ownership, the lifespan of parrots, and the likelihood that a dedicated bird owner could afford a golf cart.A guy rides a motorized cooler on the interstate?Moon reasons that Florida police probably wouldn't even bother arresting him.And somehow, that logic works.For a while.Then comes the Key West headline.A man is allegedly arrested while riding a motorized suitcase down Duval Street and drinking a coconut cocktail.Moon is suspicious.Not because of the motorized suitcase.That's apparently normal.It's the coconut cocktail that pushes the story beyond credibility.He delivers a lengthy explanation about why the details don't add up.He confidently calls fake news.And he's wrong.Again.The poor contestant loses his chance at concert tickets.Moon immediately explains that he can't be expected to do everything for the callers.Lern points out the obvious:You were literally the lifeline.It's a beautiful example of how comedy podcasts can turn a simple trivia game into an elaborate demonstration of misplaced confidence.Frozen Ribs, Flamingos and a Very Busy Florida Police DepartmentThe game continues with even more absurd headlines.A man hides from police inside a commercial washing machine.Someone allegedly hits a store clerk with a frozen rack of ribs over a pricing dispute.A dog supposedly shifts a truck into gear and sends it crashing into a swimming pool.An Orlando man allegedly attempts to tame an alligator using a pool noodle and hot sauce.A woman throws frozen waffles at a cashier because the store ran out of syrup.And a man breaks into a house, bakes brownies, and falls asleep on the kitchen floor.Some are real headlines as presented in the game.Others are inventions designed to fool the listeners.And somehow, the distinction becomes less important with every question.Moon briefly redeems himself with a correct call on the brownie-baking burglar.He celebrates like Babe Ruth calling his shot.Unfortunately, that confidence doesn't last.Eventually, Amanda calls in and correctly identifies a real story involving a stolen police vehicle and a fake story about somebody launching plastic flamingos with a leaf blower.Finally, a winner!Amanda scores Three Days Grace tickets, and the crew can stop pretending this is a legitimate test of intelligence.Meanwhile, Rizz, Lern, and Moon also discuss their plans to attend the upcoming 311 show at The Factory.Rizz explains that he's taking the following day off because he wants to enjoy the concert without worrying about waking up for work.Honestly, that's probably the smartest decision anybody makes in this entire episode.The Great Key Lime Pie DebateOne of the fake Florida headlines involves a woman supposedly calling 911 because her grocery store ran out of her favorite key lime pie.And suddenly, the gang forgets they're hosting a game show.Because now everybody needs to discuss pie.Moon considers key lime pie an essential introductory dessert.Rizz thinks its tartness makes it something of an acquired taste.Lern agrees that not everybody appreciates the combination of tangy citrus and creamy filling.Then the crew starts comparing grocery store options.Costco enters the conversation.So does the beloved St. Louis name Tippin's.And Lern considers bringing a key lime pie to an upcoming Thanksgiving gathering.All because somebody invented a ridiculous emergency phone call about dessert.That's the magic of this daily comedy show.The original topic never survives contact with the microphones.National Nachos Day: Finally, a Holiday Worth CelebratingAfter the Florida madness, the crew runs through a collection of unusual national holidays.National Saxophone Day.National Basketball Day.National Marooned Without a Compass Day.National Jersey Friday.National Fountain Pen Day.National Love Your Lawyer Day.And, most importantly:National Nachos Day.Finally, something America can agree on.Rizz shares the origin story of nachos, tracing the dish back to Ignacio “Nacho” Anaya, who created a quick snack in Mexico in 1943.According to the story discussed on the show, a group of women arrived at a restaurant while the chef was unavailable.Ignacio improvised with fried tortilla triangles, cheese, and jalapeños.The result became known as Nacho's Special.And the world was never the same.Lern is delighted to discover that nachos were named after an actual person.Moon suggests using an old saxophone as a nacho serving container.Because apparently we can't even celebrate tortilla chips without involving musical instruments.The conversation also turns briefly to the origins of Caesar salad, leaving the crew impressed by the culinary contributions coming out of Mexico.Somewhere, Ignacio is looking down proudly.Probably wondering why a bunch of radio idiots are trying to eat nachos out of a saxophone.Happy Birthday, Rizzy! Another Year of Questionable DecisionsSo what have we learned from this birthday edition of The Rizzuto Show?Spaghetti sauce is not chili, no matter how confidently you eat it.Rafe should probably be nervous about Tuesday's blind taste test.Florida continues to provide he

What do garlic bread soap, a 212-gigabyte video game, and a song about canned peaches have in common? Absolutely nothing. Which makes them perfect topics for The Rizzuto Show.Rizzuto, Moon Valjean, Lern, King Scott, and the gang are back for another gloriously unproductive morning of weird news, celebrity gossip, rock music nostalgia, video game chaos, and the kind of ridiculous conversations that make comedy podcasts worth listening to.Today's adventure includes Rizz getting his very own custom-scented soap, a musical memory test that exposes an entire generation, a massive GTA 6 download that could eat half your gaming console, and enough celebrity news to remind everybody that fame is a very expensive way to become a headline.And yes, there's an actual bar of soap that smells like garlic bread.Because apparently that's where we're at as a society.Rizzuto's New Signature Scent: Garlic BreadThe show starts with a genuinely thoughtful gift from Anthony and Christina Baer of Barenaked Naturals, who send the crew handmade tallow soaps and surprise Rizz with an entire year's supply of a custom scent created just for him.Naturally, the gang immediately begins guessing what Rizz's personal fragrance might be.Moon suggests lasagna, complete with beef and ricotta cheese.Lern guesses tiramisu, because she believes Rizz deserves something a little sweeter.And the possibility of a New York City street scent enters the conversation, which brings up some truly unfortunate notes of garbage, cigarette dust, and sewer steam.Then comes the big reveal.Garlic. Bread. Soap.That's right. Rizz can now step out of the shower smelling like somebody just brought unlimited breadsticks to the table.The crew passes the soap around, and the reactions are surprisingly positive. It's pungent, unmistakably garlicky, and apparently has a pleasant floral finish.Lern says he smells like Olive Garden.Moon is stunned by how realistic the scent is.And Rizz, now the proud owner of a year's worth of garlic bread soap, realizes he's officially become an Italian stereotype with excellent hygiene.At least the vampires won't bother him.If you've been searching through comedy podcasts hoping to find grown adults professionally reviewing the aroma of garlic bread body soap, your oddly specific prayers have been answered.Peaches Come From a Can, Not Your Childhood MemoriesNext, the gang revisits a viral-style music trivia challenge that asks people to complete lyrics from songs they should probably remember.Previously, the crew discussed Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night," a song that apparently confuses anyone who wasn't around when MTV actually played music videos.This time, the question involves "Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States of America.Where do peaches come from?Some people guess Georgia.Others remember fragments of the lyrics.And several people who grew up during the band's heyday somehow can't produce the answer.The crew eventually lands on the famous canned-peaches lyric, then launches into a nostalgic appreciation of one of the weirdest and most entertaining alternative rock bands of the 1990s.Rizz remembers seeing the band live.Moon recalls sharing a bill with them in Phoenix, where wild weather added to an already memorable performance.Lern wonders whether they were a one-hit wonder.And everybody immediately reminds her that "Lump" exists.The conversation becomes a celebration of the oddball bands that made '90s alternative rock so much fun, including The Presidents of the United States of America, They Might Be Giants, Ween, and the Toadies.Because the '90s weren't all flannel shirts, emotional distress, and staring sadly out of rainy windows.Sometimes you just needed a song about fruit.GTA 6 Is Coming for Your Console's Entire Hard DriveThen Rizz drops some gaming news that has King Scott and every other Grand Theft Auto fan paying attention.The crew discusses the enormous anticipation surrounding Grand Theft Auto VI, including a reported November 19 release date, preorder downloads, and the possibility of people skipping work or school to play.Rizz's son is so excited that the idea of a senior skip day comes up.And honestly, considering the amount of hype surrounding this game, it's probably going to be a very unproductive day for a whole lot of people.But the biggest surprise?The reported 212-gigabyte storage requirement.That's not a video game.That's a digital eviction notice.For players with a 500-gigabyte console, that could mean clearing out a huge portion of their game library just to make room.Lern jokes about deleting Grandma's pictures.Moon starts talking about computer upgrades and gaming hardware.King Scott prepares to sacrifice whatever storage space he has left.And Rizz admits he barely understands what a gigabyte is.The crew also gets into the console-versus-PC debate, with Moon explaining why computer gaming offers advantages while Rizz tries to understand why some players might have to wait.By the end, everybody agrees on one thing:If you're planning to play GTA 6, you might want to start deleting things now.And if your boss asks why productivity has suddenly collapsed, just tell them Rockstar made you do it.Rush at the Sphere, Ozzfest Returns & Rock Stars Get RichLern kicks off Crap on Celebrities with some major rock news.Rush is reportedly planning a five-night residency at the Las Vegas Sphere, giving fans another reason to spend a fortune traveling to a giant glowing ball in the desert.Rizz jokes that he's already seen enough concert footage online to skip the trip entirely.The gang also discusses the announced return of Ozzfest in 2027, with plans to revisit the California venue where the festival began.Some fans are thrilled.Others are already complaining.And Lern would like to remind everybody that if you don't want to attend a concert, there's a remarkably simple solution.Don't go.There's also news involving Vince Neil's longtime girlfriend and an alleged domestic dispute, plus a look at the nominees for the Songwriters Hall of Fame, including Lady Gaga, Shakira, Pink, Sia, Jack White, and more.Then comes a discussion about Bruce Springsteen's reported $500 million music catalog sale.Moon explains how the business of buying music catalogs has changed, why those enormous valuations may not be as common today, and why everybody in the industry seems interested in collecting royalty income.Rizz starts wondering what the Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin catalogs might be worth.And the conversation turns into a surprisingly informative discussion of music publishing, investments, and the time Michael Jackson outbid Paul McCartney for the company that controlled Beatles publishing rights.Turns out the music business can be just as dramatic as the music.Alanis Morissette Goes Christmas, Dolly Hits the Shelf & Carson Daly Gets PromotedIn other entertainment news, Alanis Morissette has apparently traded some of her '90s angst for holiday cheer.The crew discusses her Christmas album, featuring contributions from Brandi Carlile and Steve Martin on banjo.Lern loves the unexpected combination.Rizz imagines the soundtrack playing while his family decorates the Christmas tree.And King Scott, who apparently appreciates both Christmas and banjos, might have just found his new favorite album.Meanwhile, Dolly on the Holly enters the holiday merchandise conversation as a Dolly Parton-themed alternative to Elf on the Shelf.Because apparently even Santa's little surveillance elf now has celebrity competition.Carson Daly also gets some love as the crew discusses his expanding role at NBC News.Moon shares a personal story about appearing on Daly's late-night show and remembers how welcoming Carson was to musicians.Rizz, meanwhile, is mostly fascinated by the size of Carson Daly's head.It's a beautiful moment of professional respect immediately undermined by anatomical commentary.Exactly what you'd expect from a daily comedy show in St. Louis.Matt Damon, Ron Burgundy & the Thanksgiving Movie ArgumentThe movie conversation gets just as chaotic.Lern discusses Matt Damon's regret over passing on the lead role in Ted, while the gang agrees Mark Wahlberg was a great fit for the foul-mouthed teddy bear comedy.That leads to a hilarious detour into Damon's portrayal in Team America: World Police, including the story of how an oddly shaped puppet inspired one of the movie's most memorable running jokes.The crew also remembers the real-life news anchor whose appearance reportedly inspired Ron Burgundy from Anchorman.Rizz and Moon dive into their love of Will Ferrell movies, including Talladega Nights, Anchorman, and Step Brothers.And then Lern introduces a ranking of the best Thanksgiving movies.Surely Planes, Trains and Automobiles is number one.Nope.It's number ten.The top spot goes to Addams Family Values, with Funny People and Pauly Shore's Son in Law also ranking highly.Rizz is baffled.Lern defends Son in Law with the passion of somebody arguing a Supreme Court case.And the gang tries to understand why The Doors belongs on a Thanksgiving movie list.Nothing says wholesome family holiday quite like psychedelic rock and questionable life choices.The entertainment rundown also touches on upcoming movies, a possible end to the Beetlejuice franchise, Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey, and more celebrity birthdays.Garlic Bread, Gigabytes & Another Completely Normal FridaySo what have we learned?Rizz now has enough garlic bread soap to smell like an Italian restaurant for an entire year.The Presidents of the United States of America apparently know more about canned peaches than most people remember.GTA 6 might require you to choose between your favorite games and having any free storage left.Rush and Ozzfest are giving rock fans plenty to talk about.Music catalogs are worth enormous amounts of money.Dolly Parton has officially entered the holiday shelf-decoration business.And Addams Family Values is apparently considered a better Thanksgiv

Rizz finally gets invited to an influencer event, immediately gets a parking ticket, and somehow that's only the second-most memorable exit of the day.Welcome back to The Rizzuto Show, the St. Louis funny podcast where free food comes with hidden fees, parking enforcement becomes a personal enemy, and a 97-year-old man gives the Bee Gees the most unforgettable farewell performance imaginable.Rizzuto, Moon Valjean, Lern, and the gang are back with another round of daily comedy, weird news, local St. Louis stories, dark humor, and conversations that start out normal before somebody inevitably makes everything worse.Rizzuto: Food Influencer Against His WillFirst up, Rizz makes his grand debut in the glamorous world of St. Louis food influencers.His destination? The brand-new Wash Ave Food Hall at 1122 Washington Avenue, right across from Flamingo Bowl in downtown St. Louis.Rizz brings his wife and son to a special media preview, where the food is free, the cameras are everywhere, and everyone else apparently knows how to make eating lunch look like a professional photo shoot.Meanwhile, Rizz is just a radio guy trying to enjoy some samples without somebody recording him chewing.The new food hall makes a strong impression, with Detroit-style pizza from Troy, fried chicken bao buns from Little Bao, empanadas from Arzola's, Puerto Rican sandwiches from 787 Subs, barbecue from Macy's Prime, and loaded fries from Steve's Hot Dogs' Steve's Smash concept.Steve Ewing is even there performing while handling his food business.It's a great night for downtown St. Louis, and Rizz genuinely loves the place.He also discovers that influencer culture involves a shocking number of tripods, phone cameras, and people filming themselves eating.His wife tries to capture some footage of him enjoying the food.Rizz would prefer that nobody ever see him eat anything.Truly inspirational content creation.The Most Expensive Free Dinner in St. LouisUnfortunately, Rizz's incredible luck finding a parking space directly in front of Wash Ave Food Hall comes with one tiny problem.He forgot to pay the meter.And when he returns to his BMW, there's a little envelope waiting on the windshield.Congratulations, Rizz! You've won your first St. Louis parking ticket!The damage? Twenty dollars.Which, considering he just fed three people for free, isn't actually the worst deal in the world.Rizz pays the ticket immediately, before he even makes it home.Case closed.Except Lern and Moon are absolutely disgusted by his complete lack of rebellious spirit.Why didn't he fight it?Why didn't he contest the charges?Why didn't he turn this into a dramatic courtroom battle complete with character witnesses and an emotional speech about the injustice of downtown parking?Because he didn't pay the meter, that's why.Still, the crew imagines representing Rizz in court, debates the ethics of parking tickets, and discovers that Moon has a surprisingly passionate hatred of Clayton, Missouri.And by passionate, we mean the man sounds like Clayton personally stole his lunch money.If you enjoy a funny podcast that can turn a $20 parking violation into a full-scale attack on municipal government, congratulations. You've found your people.A Billboard, a Road Trip and Too Many KooziesBefore his parking disaster, Rizz gets another exciting look at The Rizzuto Show's downtown billboard near Union Station, featuring the crew and signatures from listeners who supported the Halloween Weirdo fundraiser for Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital.It's a genuinely cool moment.The gang looks great.The billboard is beautifully lit.And, naturally, everybody immediately starts making jokes about Rizz's teeth, his father's watch, and whether the whole crew looks a little evil.That's show business, baby.Rizz is also preparing for a Kansas City road trip to watch his daughter compete in cheerleading. What should be a nice family outing becomes a logistical nightmare as listeners warn him about construction on Interstate 70, Missouri football traffic, and the possibility of spending his entire Saturday staring at brake lights.The crew also launches into an unexpectedly heated discussion about promotional koozies.Apparently, America has reached maximum koozie capacity.Moon once accumulated so many that even Goodwill didn't want them.We have officially reached the point where free merchandise has become an environmental crisis.Nurses' Confessions Get Surprisingly DarkThen the show takes a turn into the strange, emotional, and occasionally hilarious world of nurses' confessions.Inspired by stories shared online, the gang discusses the extraordinary things medical professionals witness while caring for patients, particularly people approaching the end of their lives.Some stories are heartbreaking.Others are genuinely shocking.One patient reportedly reveals a decades-old family secret involving a daughter he'd never met.Another man, believing he was dying, confesses to stealing his neighbor's newspaper every morning since 1988.Unfortunately for him, he survives.Even more unfortunately, the neighbor he confessed in front of lives right next door.That's a pretty awkward four more years.Lern shares a touching story from her own family involving an adopted relative reconnecting with his biological family in Ireland.The crew also takes time to recognize the incredible work nurses and healthcare professionals do every day.It's a rare stretch of heartfelt conversation on a show that usually considers an argument about French fries a serious intellectual exercise.Don't worry. The emotional maturity doesn't last.Vito's Final Dance: The Ultimate "Staying Alive" Send-OffAnd then there's Vito.A 97-year-old California man celebrates his birthday with a Halloween-themed party, surrounded by friends, neighbors, and loved ones.He's dressed up.He's smiling.He's dancing.And his soundtrack is the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive."Shortly after the song ends, Vito passes away.Yes.The irony is impossible to ignore.But underneath the dark humor is a surprisingly sweet story about a man who spent his final moments celebrating life with the people he loved.The crew debates whether that's actually the perfect way to go.Rizz would prefer to pass peacefully in his sleep.Lern thinks leaving the world after a great party, with your favorite song playing and your loved ones nearby, sounds pretty wonderful.Moon starts examining the logistics of a dramatic final exit.And somehow, the conversation becomes a philosophical argument about whether you should go out quietly or make sure everybody remembers your last dance.For Vito, the answer was apparently disco.Rest in peace, Vito. Ninety-seven years, one final birthday party, and a send-off nobody at that celebration will ever forget.Winter People, St. Louis Weirdos and Another Friday in the BooksThe gang also gets into seasonal affective disorder, earlier sunsets, and the surprising number of people who actually prefer winter darkness to endless summer daylight.Moon shares how his son genuinely thrives during the colder, darker months, while the crew discusses nostalgia, family, and why some people feel more at home when the sun disappears before dinner.There's also plenty of St. Louis talk, listener love, and the usual collection of conversations that nobody could have predicted when the microphones turned on.So what did we learn today?Free food isn't always completely free.Never underestimate the power of a $20 parking ticket to destroy a man's credibility.St. Louis apparently has enough koozies to insulate an entire neighborhood.Nurses hear some truly unbelievable secrets.And if you're going to make a dramatic exit at 97, dancing to the Bee Gees at your own birthday party is certainly one way to make it memorable.From Wash Ave Food Hall and downtown parking drama to emotional hospital stories and Vito's unforgettable disco farewell, this funny podcast delivers the perfect mix of St. Louis entertainment, weird news, sarcastic humor, and morning show chaos.Hit play for another episode of The Rizzuto Show, the funny podcast that reminds you life is short, parking meters are unforgiving, and you should probably enjoy the cake while you can.Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rizz needs new floors, a flying tire nearly takes somebody out, Telly Monster is allegedly running Sesame Street, and the crew is about to risk their dignity—and their backsides—over a dog breed technicality. Just another completely normal day on The Rizzuto Show.Rizzuto, Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are back with another episode of St. Louis morning radio chaos, celebrity gossip, weird news, ridiculous competitions, and the kind of conversations that make comedy podcasts essential listening for people who enjoy watching other people make terrible decisions.And today, there are plenty to go around.We've got expensive home repairs, dangerous vending machines, donut dreams, cooking debates, redhead genetics, celebrity news, and a game of Do It, Bitch! that somehow turns pasta, St. Louis geography, and dog breeds into highly controversial subjects.It's the daily comedy show that proves you can cover absolutely everything without accomplishing anything remotely productive.Rizz's House Is Falling Apart, and His Jeep Isn't HelpingFirst, Rizz is having a spectacularly expensive week.A contractor has informed him that the buckling floors in his house may require replacing approximately 1,800 square feet of flooring.The cause?Still a mystery.The potential bill?Let's just say Rizz isn't exactly thrilled about his unexpected opportunity to invest in home improvement.Naturally, Lern thinks the renovation could be beautiful. Rafe wants shag carpeting and a sunken conversation pit. Moon remembers the questionable green carpet of his childhood.And Rizz starts planning an entire 1970s-inspired makeover featuring avocado-colored appliances, wicker furniture, amber ashtrays, a kitchen phone with a ridiculously long cord, and plastic-covered couches.Because when your house is already falling apart, why not make it look like a retired disco producer lives there?The crew also tears into home design trends that have overstayed their welcome, including shiplap, subway tile, barn doors, microwave drawers, and the endless parade of gray interiors.Somewhere, Joanna Gaines just felt a disturbance in the force.And as if replacing an entire floor wasn't enough, Rizz also learns that his son's Jeep needs another $2,000 in repairs after developing the dreaded death wobble.So the house is buckling, the Jeep is shaking, and Rizz is one unexpected expense away from installing shag carpet himself.With a rake.Flying Tires, Freak Accidents and Killer Vending MachinesTo put his bad day into perspective, Rizz starts sharing videos and stories of people experiencing much worse luck.Because nothing improves your mood quite like discovering how many ordinary objects can unexpectedly ruin your day.The gang watches footage of a young woman in Santiago, Chile, getting struck by a wheel that comes flying off a passing vehicle.An entire wheel.Just casually launching itself into somebody else's afternoon.That leads to a discussion of bizarre accidents involving falling windows, a cactus, an ill-fated invention, and other reminders that real life occasionally has the safety standards of a rejected Final Destination sequel.Then the conversation turns to one of the most surprisingly dangerous objects in everyday life:Vending machines.Apparently, those giant metal cabinets full of chips, candy bars, and questionable snack decisions are not something you want falling on you.Rizz suggests vending machine safety might become the show's next great public service mission.Lern wants a full Discovery Channel Vending Machine Week.Moon suspects the warnings might be part of a campaign to stop people from shaking free snacks loose.And Rafe proposes an engineering breakthrough involving mechanical safety legs modeled after Rizz's own legs.Hairy toes included.If you're looking for comedy podcasts that can turn a discussion about vending machine accidents into a product pitch for tiny robotic Rizz legs, congratulations.You've arrived.Donut Dreams and Men Who Refuse to Make DinnerNext, the gang celebrates National Donut Appreciation Day, which is apparently necessary because America hasn't dedicated nearly enough time to fried dough covered in sugar.Rafe discovers a local donut shop called LB Donuts, and Lern reveals she'd love to own a donut shop someday.She loves baking, she's already accustomed to getting up before the sun, and her family has a history in the bakery business.Honestly, this might be the first career change discussed on the show that makes complete sense.The crew reminisces about old-school family bakeries, bear claws, and the joy of walking into a donut shop where nobody is pretending the product needs a fancy name.Then comes National Men Make Dinner Day.Rizz loves cooking and handles plenty of meals at home.Rafe enjoys cooking too, including recipes passed down through Stephanie's family.Moon?Moon doesn't hate cooking.He just doesn't want to do it.Apparently, spending time preparing dinner feels inefficient when there are so many other important things he could be doing.Like explaining why he doesn't want to cook dinner.Rafe also shares the story of buying a prepared meal at Whole Foods and spending enough money to make the crew wonder whether it came with a down payment.It's domestic comedy, family stories, food arguments, and the kind of everyday nonsense that makes comedy podcasts feel like hanging out with your most ridiculous friends.King Scott Is a Genetic Collector's EditionIt's also National Redhead Day, which means King Scott is finally getting the recognition he deserves.Or at least the attention.Those are two very different things on The Rizzuto Show.Rizz dives into redhead trivia, including rare hair-and-eye-color combinations, genetics, sun sensitivity, and anesthesia.Scott has red hair, blue-green eyes, and a collection of unusual traits that inspires the crew to treat him like a limited-edition action figure.The conversation quickly becomes less about science and more about figuring out how many ways they can roast him before the next commercial break.Rafe suggests Scott has somehow collected every recessive trait available.Lern tries to be supportive.Rizz points out that Scott has an impressive amount going on genetically.And somehow, the conversation still ends with everybody making fun of him.Happy National Redhead Day, buddy.Telly Monster's Alleged Sesame Street Criminal EmpireThen the gang begins comparing themselves to Sesame Street and Muppet characters.Harmless enough.Until Rafe brings up Telly Monster.You remember Telly.The anxious-looking purple monster who was always worried about something.Well, apparently the crew has decided that Telly's real problem is that he's secretly running the neighborhood.In an entirely fictional, increasingly ridiculous version of Sesame Street, Telly becomes the mastermind behind a shady operation.Big Bird is caught in the middle.The Count is handling the numbers.And Snuffleupagus looks like somebody who knows too much.To be extremely clear, this is not an actual Sesame Street storyline.It's just what happens when The Rizzuto Show gets hold of a beloved children's character and decides he belongs in a crime drama.Somebody should probably warn PBS.Today's episode is brought to you by the letters R, I, C and O.Celebrity Gossip, Pearl Jam and a Very Expensive Vegas ResidencyOnce the crew escapes its imaginary Sesame Street crime syndicate, Lern delivers another round of Crap on Celebrities.The gang discusses Pearl Jam's drummer situation following Matt Cameron's departure, 50 Cent's ongoing trolling of Diddy, and a Scorpions biopic called Wind of Change.There's also talk of Crossroads, Ralph Macchio, Steve Vai, and the possibility of another guitar showdown.Lern shares her enthusiasm for The Pitt, while the crew talks about True Detective, television nostalgia, Beverly Hills, 90210, and Channing Tatum's Gambit accent.Moon also asks AI to match Game of Thrones locations with American cities.New York gets King's Landing.Chicago gets Winterfell.Miami gets Dorne.And St. Louis?Storm's End.Honestly, a city known for its toughness, loyalty, and ability to survive endless nonsense feels about right.Then the gang dives into the enormous money generated by Las Vegas concert residencies, with Celine Dion, U2, the Eagles, Bruno Mars, Elton John, Dead & Company, and other major performers entering the conversation.The numbers are outrageous.The guesses are questionable.And Rizz would like everyone to remember that when concert tickets cost a small fortune, the people selling them are probably doing just fine.The episode also includes a genuinely great St. Louis community moment, with the crew celebrating more than $20,000 raised for Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital through the Halloween Weirdo fundraiser and generous local supporters.Occasionally, these people accomplish something wonderful.Then somebody mentions pasta, and the whole operation falls apart again.Do It, Bitch! The Great Pasta, Geography and Dog Breed DisasterIt's time for another round of Do It, Bitch!, the Rizz Show competition where contestants bet on how many answers their teammates can name in 10 seconds.Team Moon and Lern face off against Team King Scott and Rafe.Listeners pick their sides.The crew starts gambling.And Rizz attempts to maintain order in a room full of people who consider arguing part of their job description.First category:Pasta shapes.Lern absolutely crushes it, naming bow tie, macaroni, spaghetti, lasagna, gnocchi, pastina, and ravioli.Seven answers.One point.And immediately, an argument about whether gnocchi is technically a pasta shape.Because apparently even noodles require legal representation on this show.Next comes St. Louis metro-area cities and towns.Rafe bets that King Scott can name nine.Scott starts strong with Chesterfield, Overland, St. Ann, Kirkwood, Creve Coeur, Maplewood, and Sunset Hills.Then his brain short-circuits.He says Chesterfield again.The man lives in the St. Louis area and som