Small Mercies

When emotions are too big or messy to explain, the mind often turns them into metaphors.In this episode, I explore the metaphor I use to navigate depression — an abandoned hospital with rooms called Regret and Guilt — and how a small, ordinary memory becomes a way out.Not a cure. Just a chance to keep moving.Theme Tune:“Hot Summer” by SonicMysery (Pixabay License)Sound Effects:Freesound.orgPixabay.comBBC Sound Archive

This week’s Small Mercy is about letting go of certainty.Questions like: Is this the right decision?Is this safe?Will this work out?When those questions stop being useful, they can become a trap — fuelling anxiety, avoidance, and a constant second-guessing of ourselves. Special thanks to:Otis Chetwyn-WoodsTheme Tune:“Hot Summer” by SonicMysery (Pixabay License)Sound Effects:Freesound.org and Pixabay.comPiano music:Jenny’s machine voice:luvvoice.com

This episode gently explores what happens when we stop running from the past and instead turn towards it with honesty. At its heart lies a simple question:What does it take to let a memory remain in the past, and to forgive the version of ourselves who lived through it?If you would like to support the show, please keep listening and follow (if you haven’t already) and drop a few comments or likes. I have no marketing or social media strategy so if you could share the show with someone who you think would enjoy it, that would be nice. Special thanks to:Andrea and the Seaford SwimmersCast (in order of appearance):Kazuya Tsuji - Wise old manLuella Steed - Innocent childEddie Trigg - Dark wolfAnabelle Angell - Light wolfTheme Tune:“Hot Summer” by SonicMysery (Pixabay License)Sound Effects:Freesound.orgPiano music:Samuel F Johanns (Pixabay Licence)Jenny’s machine voice:luvvoice.com

We explore:Stories from the Arrernte people of Central Australia; two sisters singing life back into a damaged world.Scientific evidence that men who adopt behaviours traditionally associated with women, caregiving, empathy, emotional connection; live longer, healthier, and more fulfilled lives.Practical “Small Mercies” you can start today: joining in the lives of the women around you, pausing to listen before speaking, and championing women without needing credit.Personal reflections on what stepping back has taught me, and how it has changed the way I experience life, community, and leadership.Whether you’re curious, skeptical, or ready to try something new, this episode offers insight, humour, and actionable ways to restore balance, for yourself, and for the world around you.Audio Effects and Music The Emerald Isle courtesy of Paul Winter AKA: Kaazoom from Pixabay.com Australian Outback courtesy of Geoff Harvey: from  Pixabay.com  SFX and Pads: Pixabay.com and Freesound.org Jenny’s Machine voice Luvvoice.com

I take listeners on a candid and thought-provoking journey into the mind, exploring the elusive inner critic that shapes our thoughts, choices, and self-perception. Blending personal stories, reflective insights, and practical strategies, this exploration reveals how the critical voice can both challenge and guide us. The podcast offers a map for understanding, confronting, and even befriending the inner critic, inviting listeners to step into a more aware and self-compassionate way of thinking

In this episode, I explore what happens when you step outside your comfort zone; from laughter yoga and gong baths to talking with shamanic practitioner Jessica about darkness, healing, and connection.I’ll admit, I was expecting a lot more woo-woo. But what I found instead was a grounded way of connecting with ourselves through nature, and with nature through truth and ritual.I also share a story from a beach in Eastbourne, where a child’s simple misunderstanding about how stones form left me questioning how we see the world.Jessica’s Small Mercy is to find your sit spot — a place in nature you visit regularly to sit, notice, and reconnect.Theme Tune: Pixabay.comSFX: Freesound.org

I sit down with Michael Isted, founder of The Herball, to talk about his deep connection to plants and the creative ways he brings them to life through herbal drinks, flavour, and ritual. In our conversation, we explore how noticing the plants around us, whether in a garden, a cup of tea, or a cocktail, can offer unexpected insights and small mercies in everyday life.This episode is about plants, stories, and the quiet ways they can shift how we feel.Where to Buy Herb AllHerball Drinks – https://herballdrinks.com/Postcard Teas – https://postcardteas.com/The Whisky Exchange – https://www.thewhiskyexchange.com/Venues Serving Herb AllThe Ritz London – https://www.theritzlondon.com/dine-with-us/the-rivoli-bar/The Savoy – https://www.thesavoylondon.com/dining/the-american-bar/The Connaught – https://the-connaught.co.uk/mayfair-bars/connaught-bar/Green Door Bar, Berlin – https://www.greendoor.de/Hotel Okura, Amsterdam – https://www.okura.nl/en/dining/Casa do Frango, Portugal – https://www.casadop.fr/NoLo Bar, Dubai – https://www.millenniumhotels.com/en/dubai/grand-millennium-business-bay/nolo-bar/Sound Effects Pixabay - https://pixabay.com/Freesound - https://freesound.org/Theme Tune & hip hop beatPixabay - https://pixabay.com/ReferencesPeter Jackson Main - https://www.lwnc.co.uk/team/peter-jackson-mainPeter Conway

Today I’m reflecting on my conversation with Dr Nick Lewis and thinking deeper about Byron's jug of cold water from te previous episodeI explore the small mercy of asking for help. From the awkwardness of tiny favours to the deeper challenge of seeking emotional support, and how letting others in can prevent small problems turning into bigger ones.There’s also a great true story about a friend of mine, you’ll love it, honestly, it’s one of my favourites. If you want to share a Small Mercy of your own, you can contact me through the Small Mercies Instagram page, I’d love to hear from you. @small_mercies_podcastThanks for listening.

How can we tell when something’s not right in our lives before it reaches breaking point? In this episode, I sit down with Dr Nick Lewes to explore the signals we might be missing, and why it’s often so hard to see them in ourselves.Nick shares insights from his work and research into mental health and wellbeing, and we talk about how awareness, small changes, and honest conversations can make a difference.This is part one of our conversation. In next week’s episode, I’ll be reflecting on what we’ve discussed and sharing a small mercy inspired by our discussion.What we cover in this episode:Subtle signs that we might not be okayWhy we often ignore or downplay those signsHow others can spot changes in us before we doThe importance of listening — to ourselves and to each other

In this episode of Small Mercies, we explore how gentleself-reflection and kindness toward ourselves can shift the way we handle setbacks and build resilience. Drawing on insights from compassion-focused therapy and recent research, we uncover simple but powerful practices to break free from self-blame and rumination. Join me with some personal stories andpractical steps to help you move forward with greater emotional stability and self-compassion.The Six Thinking Hats in the Context of Self-Reflection Blue Hat – The Ground Rules of Reflection: Purpose: Process Management & Emotional SafetyAlways start with the Blue Hat. It sets the tone, pace, andintention for your reflection.Key Questions to Ask Yourself:   Why am I choosing to reflect on this right now?This establishes relevance andencourages intention.What do I hope to understand, learn, or gain?This keeps the focus on growth, not justrevisiting past events.How will I know when to stop and move on?This helps set emotional boundaries and prevents spiralling.Additional Safety Checks:Is this the right time to reflect on this?Is there something more urgent or supportive I need first?Am I focusing on one clear moment or spiraling into everything? Can I influence or learn from this or am I ruminating on things outside my control?separates reflection from rumination.What do I need in place to feel safe while reflecting? If this becomes too much, what’s my exit route? Am I here to understand myself or to punish myself?  Would I let a friend speak to themselves likethis?White Hat – The Facts: Purpose: Objective ObservationFocus on what actually happened, without interpretation oremotion. Ask Yourself: What did I see, hear, say, or do?Stick to observable facts only.Red Hat – TheFeelings: Purpose: Emotional AwarenessThis hat is about acknowledging your feelings honestly.Ask Yourself:How did I feel at the time?How do I feel about it now?Allow space for emotional honesty without judgment. Black Hat – The Caution: Purpose: Realistic Risk AssessmentIdentify what went wrong or what risks existed.Ask Yourself:What didn’t go well?What did I miss?Where were the warning signs? Yellow Hat – The Positives: Purpose: Strengths & WinsRecognise what went well, even if the overall outcome wasmixed.Ask Yourself:What went well?What did I handle well?What knowledge, skill, or support helped me?Builds confidence and resilience.Green Hat – Future Possibilities: Purpose: Creative Growth & Action Turn reflection into progress and new ideas. Ask Yourself:What could I try differently next time?Are there fresh ideas or experiments I want to try?What have I learned that might prevent this fromhappening again?What more could I learn?What would taking responsibility — notpunishment — look like?Taking Responsibility – Not PunishmentResponsibility means facing what happened honestly andacting with integrity. It is not about guilt or shame.It Sounds Like:“I did that. It had consequences. I don’t wantto repeat it.”“I understand more now than I did then.”“I can choose differently next time.”It Looks Like:Apologising, if it’s safe and appropriate.Repairing damage through action, not self-blame.Setting new boundaries or supports to avoidrepetition. It Feels Like:A quiet resolve, not guilt or performative shame. Just truth paired with action.Books and Papers Referenced in This EpisodeMeditations by Marcus Aurelius (translated by Gregory Hays)Six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono Sound FX and MusicSound Effects: https://freesound.org Music: https://pixabay.com Presidents Voice:  https://finevoice.fineshare.com Research ReferencedPaul Gilbert’s Compassion-Focused Therapy:  University of Vienna (2022) Study Kristin Neff’s Work on Self-Compassion

We explore the vital role of rest in our lives:  why ignoring our natural circadian rhythms comes at a cost. From the history of working to the clock during the Industrial Revolution, to the modern-day hustle culture fueled by constant connectivity and the “Nerd Reich,” we unpack how work-life boundaries have blurred. Discover the science behind strategic pauses, micro-naps, and the “4 o’clock slump,” and why stepping away can unlock creativity and protect your wellbeing. Plus, hear an unexpected story about a mole who knows when to pause — and why you should too.Learn practical ways to reclaim your time, take tactical breaks, and resist burnout in a world that demands constant productivity.Books and Papers Referenced in This EpisodeThe Visual Detox by Marine Tanguy — explores creative strategies for reducing digital overload and improving mental clarity.The Half Has Never Been Told by Edward Baptist - a deep dive into the brutal history of American slavery and its role in shaping modern capitalism.Circadian Rhythm and Health:World Health Organization (WHO), 2019 “Night shift work and circadian disruption are probably carcinogenic to humans.” WHO IARC Monographs on the Evaluation of Carcinogenic Risks to Humans, Volume 124Attention Residue:Leroy, Sophie. (2009). Why is it so hard to do my work? The challenge of attention residue when switching between work tasks. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, Volume 109, Issue 2, 2009, Pages 168-181Glymphatic System and Brain Detox:Xie, L., Kang, H., Xu, Q. et al. (2013). Sleep drives metabolite clearance from the adult brain. Science, 342(6156), 373-377. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1241224Strategic Pausing in Surgery:Catchpole, Ken, et al. (2007). Patient handovers within the hospital: translating knowledge from motor racing to healthcare. Quality and Safety in Health Care, 16(2), 120-124. https://doi.org/10.1136/qshc.2006.020230Sound FX and MusicSound Effects: https://freesound.org Music: https://pixabay.com 

Show NotesThis week on Small Mercies, we explore the healing ritual of cooking — not for performance, but for presence. When you handle, prepare, and taste real food with attention, it can soothe the nervous system, support your gut, and help you feel steady in yourself. Whether it’s a hot lemon in the morning or a bowl of soup at night, feeding yourself consciously — not perfectly — is a quiet act of self-trust.Italian Soup RecipeYou don’t have to make the croutons — buy some or leave them out. It’s all good.https://ottolenghi.co.uk/pages/recipes/chickpea-tomato-bread-soupGut Health BooksJeanette Hyde – The Gut Makeoverhttps://www.jeannettehyde.com/booksEve Kalinik – Happy Gut, Happy Mindhttps://evekalinik.com/shop/Tim Spector – Food for Lifehttps://zoe.com/cookbook-foodforlifeResearchCooking and Brain FunctionA 2018 paper in Cell Metabolism found that food textures and flavours activate dopamine-rich reward circuits in the brain — both from taste and from expectation.A 2024 study in Frontiers in Psychiatry found that viewing food increases midbrain–visual cortex connectivity, especially in those with cravings. Cooking and active engagement help regulate this.A 2023 study using fNIRS brain imaging showed that handling food helps engage the prefrontal cortex — improving focus, planning, and emotional regulation.Lemon, Gut Health, and Mental Well-beingA 2022 review (MDPI) noted that citrus compounds — especially from peels — have anti-inflammatory and antioxidant effects that support both gut health and brain function.A 2022 clinical trial found that lemon juice before meals can increase gastric acid secretion, supporting better digestion. (Cymbiotika Health Report)A Harvard-linked observational study (2025) found that people who consumed more citrus had higher levels of beneficial gut microbes and a 20% lower risk of depression. (As reported by the New York Post)Microbiome and Mental HealthMcDonald et al. (2018), mSystems: The American Gut Project found links between microbiome diversity and self-reported mental health.Soto-Moran et al. (2020), PubMed: An 8-week study found that flavonoid-rich orange juice improved gut diversity and mood in young adults with depressive symptoms.Cryan & Dinan (2019), Physiological Reviews: A comprehensive review of how the gut microbiota impacts mood via the immune system, vagus nerve, and inflammation.Support for Eating DisordersIf food is a source of distress rather than peace, there is help available.United KingdomBeat: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.ukEating Disorder Advice (EDA): https://www.eatingdisordersadvice.co.ukUnited StatesNEDA (National Eating Disorders Association): https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.orgEuropeEAT.org: https://www.eat.org

This week on Small Mercies, we explore the quiet power of connecting to nature — not for a reward, but because something in us recognises something in it. From ancient folk stories to cutting-edge research on forest bathing, we uncover how even 20 minutes among trees can lower stress, calm the mind, and restore attention. You don’t need a forest — just a willingness to notice.Episode Notes: Forest Bathing & Nature ConnectionOutdoor Forest Bathing – How to Begin Spend20 minutes in nature with your senses wide open.Let it be slow, sensory, and intention-free. Top Tips:·      Don’t go with a goal. Just go to be there.·      Walk at half your usual pace.·      If it’s safe, leave your phone at home. No headphones.·      Use your senses:·      Listen to birdsong or wind in leaves·      Smell bark, crushed leaves, or soil·      Touch rough bark, soft moss, or sun-warmed stone·      Taste air on your tongue — moist, dry, rich with scent·      Press your ear to the trunk of a tree. (In healthy trees, water and sap movement can create subtle sounds — like faint gurgling or rustling).·      Don’t narrate or analyse. Let the mind quieten.·      Don’t try to identify birds or plants. Just notice.·      Sit down if you can. Let your nervous system settle.·      Close the experience with a quiet ritual:Leave a breath, a touch on bark, a thank you. Not for reward — just as respect.Indoor Nature Connection – When You Can’t Get OutYou can still benefit from forest bathing principles indoors. Here’s how:1. Interact with HouseplantsRun your fingers along a leaf’s edgeSmell the soil after wateringRest your palm on a stem or pot and sit quietly2.Natural Light & AirOpen a windowLet fresh air or sunlight into the roomWatch the movement of trees or clouds outside3. Watch Nature VideosEspecially slow, immersive visuals — not fast-cut documentaries.Search for “forest bathing video,” “tree movement ASMR,” or “river slow TV”Let your breathing match the rhythm of the visuals4.Sensory PauseLight a natural candle (pine, cedar, earth scents)Play natural ambient sounds — wind, stream, birdsClose your eyes and imagine sitting in a forest clearing5. Quiet RitualOffer a breath. A moment of stillness. A hand to a leaf.Say thank you. Out loud or inwardly. Sound and Production References:Sound Effects: https://freesound.org Theme tune: https://pixabay.com Machine voice: https://luvvoice.com Science & Research References:Ulrich et al. (1991): Hospital patients with a view of trees healed faster and used less pain medication.Park et al. (2010): Forest bathing lowers cortisol, heart rate, and blood pressure. Bratman et al. (2015): Nature walks reduce negative rumination and calm brain regions linked to depression.White et al. (2019): Just 2 hours in nature per week improves well-being.Kaplan & Kaplan: Attention Restoration Theory — nature helps restore focus and reduce mental fatigue.E.O. Wilson: Biophilia hypothesis — humans are wired to connect with nature.Barbara Fredrickson: Nature fosters “positivity resonance” — moments of awe, calm,and connection 

In this episode, we explore how fleeting interactions can have lasting effects on emotional well-being, what the science says about “positivity resonance” and social synchrony, and how to keep showing up gently, even when the world feels sharp.Whether you’re out in the world or stuck indoors, there’s always a way to connect with others, with yourself, with the day. Because the opposite of loneliness isn’t popularity or constant company. It’s recognition.This Week’s Small Mercie: Make One Micro-Connection a DayThis week, your invitation is simple: make one micro-connection per day.It could be a smile to someone in the queue, a nod to your neighbour, or a quick compliment. Nothing big or heavy, just a brief moment of human contact to remind your nervous system: you’re not alone.If you can’t get out or don’t feel up to it:Try a phone or FaceTime call, just to say hello.Send out a kindness ripple; a thoughtful comment, a thank-you message, a small gesture of appreciation.Or simply look out your window and silently wish a stranger well.Even the smallest spark of connection can shift your internal state. You don’t need to fix anything. Just connect.Research references Barbara Fredrickson – Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and BecomeIntroduces the concept of positivity resonance brief shared moments of connection that regulate the nervous system and support emotional well-being.Jillian Sandstrom (Sandstrom & Dunn, 2014) – Social Interactions and Well-being: The Surprising Power of Weak TiesDemonstrates that even brief interactions with strangers like small talk with a barista can boost mood, increase sense of belonging, and support mental health.John Cacioppo – Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social ConnectionA pioneering neuroscientist whose work shows how loneliness impacts brain function and physical health, and how even micro-connections can help interrupt the isolation cycle.Machine voice: https://luvvoice.comSelected SFX: https://pixabay.comTheme Tune: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, I dive into the unexpected power of gratitude—drawing surprising evidence from a U.S. military training programme that reduced PTSD and addiction rates, not with weapons or survival tactics, but with gratitude.Joined briefly by 'Cynical Steve' (unsurprisingly) we explore how a simple shift in perspective can disrupt our ancient threat-response systems, bring calm to our nervous system, and begin to rewire the brain for optimism and emotional resilience.I also share a simple, science-backed gratitude practice you can start today—and explain why it's only effective once you've laid the groundwork by protecting your sleep and setting boundaries.This Week’s Small Mercy: Gratitude – Keep It RealWrite down three things you’re grateful for—simple as that. But for it to work, keep these tips in mind:Feel it, don’t just list it: Add how each thing made you feel. Less is more: Focus on depth, not quantity. A few meaningful reflections beat a long list every time.Once or twice a week is plenty: Too often, and it becomes routine. Keep it genuine, not forced.Reflect forward: What did it teach you? How might you carry that feeling into tomorrow?Ditch the clichés: Your brain knows the difference between real and fake.CreditsAi Voiced by LuvVoice  https://luvvoice.com/Sound Effects and Theme Music Pixabay https://pixabay.com/Here’s a link to more about Circles of Influence: https://positivepsychology.com/circles-of-influence/

Saying no shouldn't feel like a moral failure—but for many of us, it does. In this episode, I dig into why setting boundaries feels so awkward, and why that discomfort is actually a sign you're doing something right.I’ll explain how a simple risk assessment (yes, really) can help you spot where your energy is leaking—and where you need to draw the line.Featuring the voice of Patrick Readings as my therapist, and a walkout from Stage 3 Fine Art students at CSM the moment I mentioned risk assessments.Because protecting your time and well-being isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.Machine voicehttps://luvvoice.comSelected SFX https://pixabay.comTheme Tune https://pixabay.com

Marginal gains aren’t sexy, but they work. This episode explores how small, deliberate changes—starting with something as simple as putting your phone down—can reshape your sleep, your energy, and eventually, your life.I introduce small mercies as an antidote to overwhelm: not grand solutions, just quiet acts of self-respect.Because life is not for beginners.