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The Rules

Author: Simon Weekes

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Society has collapsed. People are out of control. Simon Weekes welcomes comedians to suggest their rules that everyone has to follow and what the punishment should be if they don’t. This is the podcast that will fix everything FOREVER. Email YOUR rules to therulespod@gmail.com.


Edited by Ewan Cameron.

Music by Julian Guidetti.


Follow: @the_rules_pod


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

42 Episodes
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Sam Picone

Sam Picone

2026-03-0828:34

Stand-up and social media comedian Sam Picone helps Simon come up with rules to make internet users and binmen behave themselves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Lorna Rose Treen

Lorna Rose Treen

2026-03-0125:01

Multi-award-winning comedian, writer and actor Lorna Rose Treen invites Simon to consider rules to end the tyranny of tickling and kick-start the next stage of human evolution. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Steve Hall

Steve Hall

2026-02-2226:24

Writer and stand-up Steve Hall presents Simon with rules to stop people making spam phone calls, sending intrusive emails and projecting irritating noises. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Aideen McQueen

Aideen McQueen

2026-02-1527:35

Stand-up, writer and actor Aideen McQueen joins Simon to dole out slap-based retribution and ensure that we can all listen in to other people's public phone calls. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jake Bhardwaj

Jake Bhardwaj

2026-02-0830:58

Joe Marler Will See You Now and The Pub Quiz Podcast's Jake Bhardwaj joins Simon to keep Dad jokes to the minimum and get his Dad's knowledge of pop culture to the maximum. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Nick Elleray

Nick Elleray

2026-02-0131:00

Stand-up and writer Nick Elleray employs Simon to give everyone plenty of personal space and a nice quiet life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Alfie Dundas

Alfie Dundas

2026-01-2529:17

Stand-up and social media star Alfie Dundas coerces Simon into controlling the rich and stupid by testing their contribution to society and forcing those who come up short into combat for our entertainment. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Samira Banks

Samira Banks

2026-01-1832:04

Award-winning stand-up Samira Banks inspires Simon to induct rules to control jobsworths and ensure that people put in more effort when they lie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Matt Forde

Matt Forde

2026-01-1127:18

Comedian, broadcaster and impressionist Matt Forde joins Simon to figure out how to stop people being rude to waiters by curtailing obsession with status. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jordan Brookes

Jordan Brookes

2025-12-2133:25

Edinburgh Comedy Award winning Jordan Brookes inspires Simon to use complex computer simulations and child labour to stop people dropping apple cores. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Michael Stranney

Michael Stranney

2025-12-1425:51

Writer, actor and producer Michael Stranney helps Simon get to grip with people who don't respect fellow tube passengers or communal fridges. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Rich Fulcher

Rich Fulcher

2025-12-0729:42

The one and only Rich Fulcher helps Simon figure out how to stop bus seat blockers and remind his kids to put on their socks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Eleanor Morton

Eleanor Morton

2025-11-3030:18

Writer, podcaster and comedian Eleanor Morton encourages Simon to introduce rules to curb public spitting and avoid boring conversations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Andy Field

Andy Field

2025-11-2333:47

Stand-up and actor Andy Field joins Simon to inspire driving empathy and psychedelic misadventure. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Matthew Crosby

Matthew Crosby

2025-11-1635:39

Prolific writer, broadcaster and Pappy's member Matthew Crosby helps Simon restore the high street to its former glory and guarantee that people really mean it when they say "thank you" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chris Cantrill

Chris Cantrill

2025-11-0932:26

The Delightful Sausage and Rural Concerns' Chris Cantrill convinces Simon to eradicate bags on train seats and littering, while rewarding the socially conscientious with visions of the future. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Shalaka Kurup

Shalaka Kurup

2025-11-0232:14

Multi-award-winning comedian Shalaka Kurup teams up with Simon to ensure that everyone will always be on time and respectful to bus drivers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Nick Helm

Nick Helm

2025-10-2626:17

Actor, comedian and musician Nick Helm vents to Simon about angry gym-goers, unfriendly neighbours and trying to maintain empathy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
James Shakeshaft

James Shakeshaft

2025-10-1926:40

Co-host of Loremen and Rural Concerns James Shakeshaft joins Simon to combat anarchy in the world of eggs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Robbie Knox

Robbie Knox

2025-10-1230:18

Podcaster and Youtuber Robbie Knox implores Simon to reward elite airport users and punish traffic-light-ignoring cyclists. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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