Tell Me About Your Father

Christian Nightmares, our favorite chronicler of evangelical Christianity’s tightening grip on American politics in 2025, returns to Tell Me About Your Father for a look back at a truly frightening year in Christian Nationalism that aims to ensure that America is truly one nation under God Trump. In this episode, the anonymous editor of Christian Nightmares, who goes by “Christian”, walks us through his top 5 purveyors of Christian Nationalism this year, which feature such luminaries as pastor Joel Webbon, who matter of factly believes women don’t belong in public life and shouldn’t vote, much less podcast, and Eric Orwoll, whose white power organization Return to the Land is hard at work building a “fortress for the white race” in Ravenden, Arkansas. We also talk with Christian about how the year has given rise to a glut of militarized Christian branding and survivalist drag, complete with camo, tactical gear, and merch for battles that don’t exist. (We know what this country needs: more gun-toting men and boys.)Then there’s the growing Christian Nationalist war on “empathy.”As another gruesome grifter, pastor Josh McPherson says: “Empathy is toxic. Empathy will align you with Hell.” We try to parse why Charlie Kirk also couldn’t “stand the word.” It’s a world view in which care for others is a trap set by childless uggos and fat Army generals. Compassion is always a weakness, and the people who believe it wholeheartedly are right in the center of power in the US. It’s not your mama’s Golden Rule(book). And, as Christian explained in the interview he did with us back in 2021, he knows this world well. Raised in an evangelical church that instilled constant fear of a punitive god in its members, his work has become a living record of the fundamentalism that shaped his childhood and has since crept its way into the White House under the cloak of Russell Vought’s Project 2025, curling up at Stephen Miller’s feet.Rob Reiner tried to warn us, but we’re not sure the country will listen until Vought takes away their porn.We are wishing you all a happy and healthy holiday break from your jobs, surrounded by the love of your chosen family, favs and friends.Yours,Erin, Elizabeth and MattThis podcast is 100% creator and reader-supported. To help us keep it up, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Jeff Buckley spent his life trying to escape the shadow of his estranged father, folk musician Tim Buckley. Yet after both died young, Tim of an overdose in 1975, Jeff in a tragic river accident in 1997, their stories became inseparable. Rolling Stone editor David Browne, author of Dream Brother and Jeff Buckley: His Own Voice, joins Erin and Elizabeth to discuss the Buckley legacy and why Grace still haunts new listeners three decades later. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It’s not quite accurate to say that Hester Kaplan’s father Justin Kaplan was a man of few words because Justin Kaplan was a man of many. His first book, a biography of Mark Twain published in 1966, won both the Pulitzer and the National Book Award, a debut that ensured Kaplan would enjoy a long and prestigious career as an author and editor. It was an idyllic life in Cambridge, Massachusetts, that he shared with his wife Anne Bernays, also a novelist, and their three daughters.But Hester doesn’t remember her father ever looking her in the eyes or letting any of his three kids call him ‘Dad,’ not out of any cruelty or neglect, but more of a mysterious inability to go there. Hester remembers the steady clickety clack of his typing behind the study door as a child as he wrote, his quiet retreat in a household filled with estrogen, and craved the connection over his own memories of growing up that were never revealed.Even after Hester became an author herself, she had never read any of her father’s work - nor had he read hers. But after his death in 2014, Hester embarked on a new book, TWICE BORN: Finding My Father in the Margins of Biography (available now), wherein she biographs the biographer, unearthing not only the parallels between Joe/Justin’s interior life and those of the literary giants he memorialized, but also finds intimacy in her memories of a surprisingly tender man who eschewed sentimentality but nevertheless always had a chestnut for the people he loved. Here’s more of my conversation with Hester Kaplan. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In the Task finale, "A Still, Small Voice," TMAYF gets into three Fs that have always been at the core of the series: faith, forgiveness, and fatherhood. (Also, feathers, but this is our least bird-centric recap to date.) We also discuss Mark Ruffalo’s Phillies-cup redemption arc, say goodbye to DelCo’s saddest dads and the yawning expanses between their actions and self-awareness, and talk about the miracle of grace, even when it’s hard to find. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

The one thing we don’t discuss in this, our penultimate, recap of HBO’s Task is that the title of episode 6 is a play on a line from a poem by the 13th century Persian poet Jelaluddin Rumi (sorry if you already knew that!). We just thought its meaning was self evident because there IS a river in this show.Here’s what we do cover:* Goodnight, snickerdoodle* There are still more moles! Stop it! Enough! * Tom’s search for a replacement son* Gertie's evocation as a Lego and what constitutes an impression of a chicken *Robbie's final moments. Golden Globe for Tom P or are we the only people watching this show? Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Writer and filmmaker Julian Brave NoiseCat joins Elizabeth to talk about We Survived the Night, his new book about his father, Indigenous North Americans, survival, and storytelling. Listen as he reflects on his dad—found as a newborn in an incinerator at a Catholic-run residential school—and how that legacy shaped his family and his understanding of love and forgiveness. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

“Vagrant,” the fifth episode of HBO’s Task, which we are recapping for TMAYF nation, is overflowing with more moles than a dermatologist’s office. And don’t get us started on the animal references in general in this episode alone: at least four different kinds of birds, a baby giraffe, the dead deer from Sam’s nightmares, Gwen Stefani’s spiderweb, and a dragonfly (which tattoos tell us is a sign of transformation). Still, this was the ep we’ve been waiting for, because those ubiquitous HBO poster images of Robbie and Tom rushing toward each other with guns drawn in the forest finally make sense, as these two dads try to reconcile the impending threat of death for both, and the inevitable pain their losses will have on their myriad children. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In this recap of episode 4 of HBO’s Task, we wonder aloud for 58 (tight) minutes about why this show isn’t actually called I’m Going to Tell You About Some Fathers, unpack Lizzie's chunky highlights, anoint Maeve, once again, as the only functioning adult in the room, and do impressions of birds that will rock you to your core. Plus, Robbie and Harper's heartbreaking conversation, fish drama, and the sweet escape of Grassodoodle.We’ve got 3 more episodes left and we know there are more bird metaphors to come. See you next week! The best is yet to come. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

This week on Operation Recap HBO’s Task, we ask why Task isn’t called Dads of Delco or Maeve of Easttown, or even, For Fifty-Year-Old Men, By Fifty Year Old Men, and actually deliver an answer that we heard on another podcast. BUT, don’t worry - you are getting fresh insights here, when we break down the major question mark of this episode: who are the moles?Join us next week for Ep 4! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Pull up a seat with an alarmingly overstuffed hoagie, because it's time for this week's episode 2 recap of HBO’s Task! From FBI war rooms to chicken coops (both are essentially shacks), Task keeps building its character-driven “Sons of Anarchy reject script” storytelling around the big question: who counts as family, and how far will you go to protect them?Episode 2 maintains the dramatic anchor of Task in in its characters, through messy families and the dangerous weight of responsibility. Naturally, children are in the crosshairs, Harleys are rumblin', and there is a Pearl Jam song prominently featured. How mad is Sean Penn that he is not in this?! Hit play and see you next week. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to our first weekly recap of HBO’s latest Sunday night prestige crime saga, Task. This Delco-set Tale of Two Sad Dads from Mare of Easttown writer-director Brad Inglesby stars Mark Ruffalo as a grieving ex-priest–turned-alcoholic FBI agent with a philosophy degree, and Tom Pelphrey as a garbage man–turned–robber trying to keep his family afloat. Sign us UP, girl! Starting next week, our Task recaps will live on tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com. All you have to do to hear them is hit “subscribe.” It’s free. Save your money for wooder ices. See you again next week. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Literary It girl Caroline Calloway joins Erin Hosier and Elizabeth Thompson to talk about her father's tragic suicide amidst her viral public shaming in 2019, her obsession with the late Prozac Nation memoirist and Gen X agent of chaos Elizabeth Wurtzel (who Erin knew well as EW's first assistant in 1999), and the generational legacies left by their unknowable fathers (particularly Wurtzel's secret bio dad Bob Adelman). Caroline interviews Erin about the making of Wurtzel's 2001 advice book, Radical Sanity - which is the inspiration for Caroline's latest - and the three discuss the fallout of the daddy issues complicated women inherit from complicated men. [1:00–12:00] Becoming Caroline CallowayThe rise of Caroline’s Instagram-era fame, her viral captions, and the internet culture that turned her into a lightning rod. Caroline shares how grieving her father led her to a midnight pilgrimage to the Harvard library, connecting with the version of him she loved most.[12:00–20:00] Scammer and SurvivalCaroline leans into the “scammer” label and reframes it.[20:00–36:00] Father FalloutTW: A frank discussion of Caroline’s father’s suicide, mental illness, and the parallels the hosts draw from their own paternal losses.[36:00–53:00] Ghosts We Can LoveCaroline reads from Scammer, reflecting on the “younger version” of her father she grieves and how memory can be redemptive.[53:00–1:03:00] The Wurtzel ConnectionErin recounts her friendship with Elizabeth Wurtzel and the confessional literary era of the 90s that reshaped women’s writing, and the tragic true story of EW's secret father[1:03:00–1:14:00] Literary LineageCaroline explains her obsession with Wurtzel, the artifacts she collected, and why “messy women” matter.[1:14:00–End] Mentorship, Madness, and MeaningA spirited discussion of mentorship, fandom, and finding beauty in complicated legacies. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Author Aatish Taseer, whose new book A Return To Self: Excursions in Exile comes out this week, did not meet his father, Salman Taseer, the former Governor of Punjab, Pakistan until he was 21 and their relationship was, to say the least, complicated. In 2009, he wrote a book about the experience, Stranger to History, about his journey to meet his father that was also an exploration of what it means to be a Muslim in the 21st Century. Shortly after Aatish made contact with his father, in early 2011, Governor Taseer was assassinated by his own bodyguard for pardoning a woman who had been sentenced to death for allegedly insulting the Prophet Mohammed. On this episode of Tell Me About Your Father, Aatish Taseer talks with Matt Phillp about his new book, the complicated response he continues to have to his father’s violent assassination, the value and beauty of going on a pilgrimage, what it means to identify with a nation, and how it feels to have been ejected by one.1:24 – Stranger to History & Aftermath. The journey to meet his father, writing Stranger to History, and how the book was used in the trial of his father’s killer.4:06 – Exile from India & Dual Identity. Losing Indian citizenship after criticizing Modi, and grappling with home, identity, and belonging.5:10 – Pilgrimage & Spiritual Encounters. Travel, grief, and spiritual moments in Morocco and Mongolia — including Aatish’s first adult prayer and an eerie experience in the Sahara. 21:43 – "Venus & Serena" and royal racism. Aatish recounts his relationship with Lady Gabriella Windsor and the story of Princess Michael of Kent’s black sheep named Venus and Serena.25:23 – Fragility of Privilege & Royal Absurdity. Reflections on British aristocracy, EasyJet royalty, and being exiled from elite circles.33:41 – The Power of Ritual. Burning Man, sacred spaces, and the shared human need for grief and connection.39:28 – Pilgrimage as Memory. A Mongolian shamanic ritual leads to insights on memory, loss, and reconciling with the past.53:21 – Fathers, Futility & Freedom. The complicated relief after his father’s death, and commentary on liberalism, values, and the West.1:00:07 – Family, Writing, and What Remains. On estrangement, inheritance, finding home with his husband, and the writer’s role in making sense of it all.Follow this podcast on Instagram hereFollow Matt Phillp here / Follow Erin Hosier here / Follow Elizabeth Thompson here Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

It's Gay Pride (in America)! To commemorate iconic homosexual musician George Michael in the week of what would have been his 62nd birthday, and for our fifth annual Pride episode in the last week of Pride MONTH, Matt takes a look at the enduring cultural impact of George Michael's song Father Figure, and the idea that, as eminent American producer, Dick Clark once put it “Music is the soundtrack of your life.” And from there, Matt talks about how George Michael’s music helped him as a small boy to re-discover the fun of pop music, and maybe even life, after the sudden death of his father. It’s an episode about a whole lot of things, it runs a slim, almost 27 minutes (a commute!), and it includes Liza Minnelli, Stephen Sondheim, and The Pet Shop Boys in a small but reassuring way.Subscribe to our substack hereFollow us on Instagram hereFollow Matt Phillp hereFollow Erin Hosier hereFollow Elizabeth Thompson here Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

On today’s bonus episode of TMAYF, we look back at 6 episodes over the last 5 years that we just can’t stop thinking about. Featuring political podcaster Ravi Gupta, psychic medium Victoria Laurie, fine artist Chris Santa Maria's on his Uncle Bunky, Superstar Molly Shannon, author Gretchen Cherington, and the incomparable Christian Nightmares. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In Part 3, we take a closer look at Elon's descent into Dark MAGA, his unshakeable bond with his father Errol (who now hosts a YouTube channel called Dad of a Genius), and the hopeful rebellion of Musk’s daughter, Vivian Jenna Wilson. Sometimes, being your own dad is the only way out. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In Part 2, we strap ourselves into the roller coaster of Musk’s chaotic romantic relationships, his obsession with fathering a “legion” of children, and the dumb pro-natalist ideology behind it. From pay-for-silence pacts with exes to a compound in Austin for all the sister wives, this episode is about how Musk parents his kids, and by extension, the world he thinks he’s going to save.. Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

In part one of our two-part series on Elon Musk, based mostly on Walter Isaacson's 2023 biography, we look past the desperate memes and fuckwit chainsaws to see the bruised man underneath the $400 billion net worth. From apartheid South Africa and a violent father to ketamine-fueled Oval Office farewells, here's what happens when a person turns his daddy issues into the world's problem. Part 2: How He Parents (His kids and America) drops next! Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Erin & Elizabeth talk with Gen-X icon Ione Skye (Say Anything, River's Edge, Zodiac), the actress and author of the NYT-bestselling memoir SAY EVERYTHING. Ione's father is the 60s folk wizard and Sunshine Superman, Donovan. But while Donovan did claim Ione's brother Dono as his own, he referred to Ione since birth only as "the girl," only meeting her for the first time when she was by that point a famous teenager. Ione tells us about how his abandonment affected her early romantic relationships with musicians (Anthony Kiedis, Adam Horovitz), what her husband Ben Lee has taught her about consistency, love and fatherhood, and how the road from rejection to reconciliation is paved with self-protection.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe

Erin talks with Laurie Woolever, the author of the new memoir Care & Feeding, out this week from Ecco/HarperCollins. Laurie was Anthony Bourdain's assistant from 2009 until his death by suicide in 2018. She coauthored the cookbook Appetites and World Travel with him, and is the New York Times bestselling author of Bourdain: The Definitive Oral Biography. Care & Feeding is an extremely honest portrayal of Laurie's personal and professional coming of age as a high-functioning addict (to alcohol and excess) in the anything goes era of the food gods of NYC; her first job in the industry was as the assistant to the maniacal Mario Batali for a few years in the early 2000s. Laurie also talks about her actual father, John, whose lifelong caregiving of her mother amidst chronic illness taught Laurie a thing or two about how the care and feeding of others can and must extend to the self.  Get full access to Tell Me About Your Father at tellmeaboutyourfather.substack.com/subscribe