Claim OwnershipGoodpain Podcast
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© Goodpain Company, LLC
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Goodpain Podcast is an invitation to reclaim the space for honest, candid conversations about our struggles, about not knowing, about the wisdom found simply in enduring.. Like the ancient tribes, gathering around a fire to share hard-won wisdom, we'll talk about life's true intensities: the raw realities of parenting, the relentless demands of careers, the shattering impact of tragedy, the quiet burden of pain, and the unexpected moments of joy that flicker in between. Because whether your struggle was a sudden storm or a slow erosion, your story is meaningful.
48 Episodes
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Tyler & Jeremy open this episode with a present-day reflection on the release of Goodpain Podcast and the first five episodes. The discussion moves to acceptance as a product of denial.
This week we sit down with Chef Jay Anthony Irizzary of Cabo Rojo Cocina Caribeña [https://www.caborojococina.com/], a Puerto Rican-inspired culinary brand based in Reno, NV, offering bold, authentic Latin Caribbean food and desserts.
I met Jay while I was in Reno and found his restaurant my first night there. My waiter took my order, delivered my drink and my food. He was also the owner. And the chef. We swapped brief stories as Jay hustled around the restaurant that night and extending our conversation produced this week's episode. The flavor and soul is clear in Jay's food and reflects his desire to create home. The food was awesome, and it was clear Jay was puring his heart into the restaurant and risking much to create a unique experience.
I went back the second night.
Jeremy and Tyler take a break from their conversations to share a discussion with Amanda Jepson, Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Therapist, Board Certified Diplomate of Sexology [https://cosprismcollective.org/provider/amanda-jepson/]. Amanda is an expert in sexuality including better sex intimacy and sexual trauma and instead of sex therapist hacks, she engages with a balance of maturity and fun that is approachable and honors our shared humanity.
In this discussion we use the PLISSIT Model [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PLISSIT_model] to guide our conversation on relationships, sex, intimacy, and masculine maturity. While we use men's sexuality as a target, the conversation extends to relationships of all types.
We're back! After a nearly two-month hiatus, we have a number of interviews and discussions ready as we run out the remainder of this season.
In this return episode Jeremy and Tyler consider the statement "A mature man doesn't need to prove his strength; he creates safety for others to discover theirs." Multiple questions are explored in this conversation, and relies on some current conversations to inform it including the recent Netfflix released documentary, Louis Theroux's Inside the Manosphere alongside the literary classic, Lord of the Flies.
Questions Explored:
* "What does it mean to be strong enough to be gentle without being weak?"
* "How do you know when your actions come from mature power versus the need to prove something?"
* "What would change in your relationships if you stopped trying to fix or save people and started trusting them to find their own way?"
* "When you think of the legacy you want to leave, what qualities matter more than achievements?"
Jeremy & Tyler are back in the studio to how culturally rewarded patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting can function like addictions for men, keeping them trapped while believing they are powerful and "in control."
The cost? Over time, they diminish the man himself, shrinking his humanity, robbing his authentic relationships, mystery, interdependence, and the possibility of a larger, more truthful life.
We return to the topic of grief as our starting point and shared story, however, this discussion goes beyond that. In it we sit down with Bill O'Melia, who was thrust into role as an advocate following the passing of his son, Drennan in 2010. Bil and his wife, Melissa, with their two surviving sons were upheld by a sudden community that rose up around them. And a couple years later, Bill found himself using his family's story on stage.
This year, Bill & Melissa came to the decision with their board to suspend operations for Drennen's Dreams Foundation [https://www.drennensdreams.org/]. We discuss the journey toward that decision here and the emotions and experience that came along with it. Bill is also involved in supporting the Families United to Prevent Drowning [https://www.familiesunitedtopreventdrowning.org/] organization, a union of families focused on "No more drowning."
This week we speak with Fletcher Galeano, author of Letters to a Living Ghost, [https://a.co/d/6XtP7kZ] a memoir of his personal journey that explores themes of identity, grief, and healing. His journey involved emotional abuse, parental neglect, mental illness, family estrangement, and trauma and he shares the vulnerable details in this discussion.
Fletcher Galeano's Amazon Author Page [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0FN79GDZZ?ccs_id=579eb3b0-eca9-47cb-81fe-53cb3a47b422]
"Whether you are rich or whether you are poor, life delivers challenges to you" and despite these challenges, our guest Deremiah points out how much embracing our choice and autonomy regardless of the circumstances defines how we live. We do not get to choose our challenges. Learning how to listen to ourselves, to listen to each other, and rise to the challenge, helps us differentiate between living fully or embracing an impoverished existence.
Deremiah is a contributing author to the Amazon bestseller, Yes, I Can and I Did! [https://a.co/d/3QJ54eM]. In addition to being an author, Deremiah's interests and focus has spanned art, business coaching, athletics, music, and many others. Links to his work can be found below.
Arizona Galleries [https://arizonagalleries.com/]
Podcast Booking [https://talks.co/deremiahcpe]
Original Music: Stand for Peace [https://www.amazon.com/music/player/albums/B07GJ97WNP?ie=UTF8]
This week we explore what it means to be a bully, a manipulator, a tyrant, and an addict under the siren song of "winning." We ask ourselves how the reductionist and simplistic rules of sports or the battlefield do not serve the versions of leadership to which we aspire and know we are capable of becoming. Yet when we do become the bully or tyrant, we create the reflection of ourselves to which we must choose: will I continue to perpetuate and transmit that pain, or will I humble myself to choose otherwise?
Foir good measure, we also stumble upon an unexpected but welcome late 70s movie reference: Bruce Lee's Circle of Iron is an unsubtle exploration of looking in the mirror. If you are in the mood for storytelling camp and schlock, we recommend this as a starting point.
Today we sit down with our friend Kyle Quincey, former defenseman in the NHL and Owner of Do Good Ranch [https://www.dogoodranch.com/]. Kyle shares his story coming up playing hockey in Canada through the end of his storied career in the NHL. Kyle describes how the professional system reinforces the belief tha "You're never good enough" and how that takes a toll as a professional, a provider, and an individual. While Kyle's story anchors to a career at the upper echelons of professional sports, the themes and lessons he discusses are present in every venue and have been shared by every man.
Do Good Ranch [https://www.dogoodranch.com/]'s mission is to provide a supportive space for personal growth and self-improvement through transformative retreat experiences. By reconnecting with nature and incorporating a variety of technologies, wellness modalities, and the wisdom of educated facilitators and elders, participants are empowered to enhance their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
Charlie Moss is an Assistant Editor at SPIN Magazine and penned a review of Director Brian Brightly's 2025 film release The Wake, [https://www.spin.com/2025/08/brian-brightlys-new-film-is-a-study-on-men-and-grief/] a fictional exploration of men and grief. Charlie and I connected following the article drop and in a subsequent discussion around the topic, found ourselves discussing male imagination, world building, stability, and play. This episode captures that conversation.
Find Charlie's Work Here [https://authory.com/CharlesMoss]
This week we explore our own encounters with how traditional expectations both elevate and imprison, leading to breakdown before breakthrough. The conversation explores:
* "What expectations about manhood did you inherit that nobody taught you how to actually embody?"
* "When have you felt most trapped by the very roles that were supposed to give you strength and purpose?"
* "What emotions have you been told a 'real man' shouldn't feel – and what has that cost you in your relationships?"
* "If you could speak honestly to your younger self about the lies he believes about what makes a man valuable, what would you say?"
Jeremy and Tyler open Season 02 of Goodpain with an overarching discussion of masculinity, how they arrived at the topic and introduce the importance of Initiation Rites, and what happens in their absence.
The discussion moves from Aboriginal Australia to sub-saharan Africa for wisdom involving of masculine energy. Ultimately, Jeremy & Tyler share their own formative stories around masculinity as an entry into this broad topic that will be explored more thoroughly in future episodes.
Follow Aaron on:
Instagram: @chronicallymeandjesus [https://www.instagram.com/chronicallymeandjesus/]
Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/61577205813987/]
And please consider supporting Aaron and his family through Venmo: @Aaron-Milgrim
The final session that was recorded in 2023 synthesizes the journey through denial, defiance, and collaboration while focusing heavily on how to support others experiencing trauma. The conversation emphasizes the importance of humility, presence, and the principle of "first do no harm." Jeremy & Tyler explore how good intentions can cause damage when not coupled with awareness and skill.
This conversation explores collaboration as an evolving response to trauma that emerges after working through denial and defiance. Jeremy & Tyler examine how true collaboration requires releasing narratives of control while choosing how to show up authentically. The discussion emphasizes that collaboration isn't about achieving a final state but about daily choices of presence and engagement.
This extended discussion deepens the exploration of defiance through the lens of another's response to family trauma. The conversation examines how her "feistiness" and defiance protected her authentic, playful nature from being consumed by the "new normal" imposed by crisis.
This session explores defiance as an active response to trauma, particularly the loss of control. Using examples from film and personal experience, the Jeremy & Tyler examine how defiance can be both beautiful (fighting for what matters) and costly (creating collateral damage). The conversation distinguishes between defiance and surrender as opposite responses.
As we continue the first season, our discussion turns to denial, as a protective mechanism and a teaching tool.
This conversation reframes denial not as a character flaw but as a necessary protective mechanism that allows individuals to process overwhelming realities gradually. Jeremy & Tyler explore how denial creates space for the heart and mind to prepare for truth, and how it can serve as a foundation for eventual authenticity.
The conversation continues in the next episode as Jeremy & Tyler discuss the nature of acceptance.
This session continues the discussion into the paradoxical nature of grief as both deeply personal and requiring community witness. The conversation explores how grief fragments and splinters, with different pieces moving in various directions. The speakers introduce the concept of "ambiguous loss" and discuss the challenge of supporting others without imposing one's own narrative.
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