Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

“It wasn’t about how much I drank—it was about how much mental and heart space it occupied. I loved it more than I wanted to admit.” That realization for Ali Kennedy didn’t come during a dramatic rock bottom. Instead, it came after years of managing, moderating, and justifying a relationship with alcohol that looked fine on the outside but was slowly crowding out joy, clarity, and intimacy with God. In this episode, I sit down with Ali—a pastor’s wife, missionary, former Ivy League athlete, and writer—who shares her honest story of giving up alcohol not once, but twice. Ali’s journey challenges the idea that addiction has to look a certain way and invites us to ask deeper questions about disordered loves, shame, and the subtle ways we settle for breadcrumbs when God is offering a feast. Ali opens up about growing up around alcohol, finding early freedom after a radical encounter with Christ, and then slowly welcoming alcohol back into her life in socially acceptable, highly-regulated ways. Over time, what never crossed obvious lines began to quietly take up more space than she wanted to admit—especially during seasons of grief, motherhood, and ministry pressure. And I think a lot of us can relate to that. This conversation isn’t about labels. It’s about obedience, discernment, and the courage to listen when the Holy Spirit keeps tapping your shoulder. If you’ve ever felt foggy, restless, or spiritually distracted—even while doing “nothing wrong”—Ali’s story may give you permission to take that prompting seriously and ask what God might be inviting you to lay down. We explore: — Why addiction isn’t defined only by quantity or frequency— How shame keeps Christians silent and stuck— The difference between moderation and freedom— Alcohol as a “disordered love” rather than a visible vice— Grief, motherhood, and the quiet return of coping behaviors— Why obedience sometimes matters more than labels— The role of confession and community in lasting change— What it means to stop settling for breadcrumbs and pursue the feast Work with Ali: https://www.alikennedy.comAli's writing: Homes of GloryAli's Instagram: @alikennedyliveFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I got prideful. I was like, ‘I’m never going to drink again.’ And then all of a sudden… it looked really good.” This conversation with Jeramy Houghton is a reminder that recovery is rarely clean or linear. Jeramy shares how growing up in an unsafe home shaped his sense of stability long before alcohol ever entered the picture. When drinking did become part of his life, it wasn’t chaos at first—it was relief. Alcohol became a way to cope with pressure, stress, and the weight of adulthood, even as his faith was growing. Over time, that coping turned into dependence. Jeramy talks honestly about knowing God was calling him to stop and still choosing alcohol because it felt easier. What started as occasional drinking escalated into daily use, morning vodka, and a slow unraveling that included job loss, health warnings, and deep strain on his marriage. Eventually, everything came to a head when Jeramy admitted what he could no longer deny: he couldn’t stop on his own. What followed was a dramatic turning point. Jeramy describes a moment where his desire for alcohol disappeared entirely—something he’s careful not to present as a formula or a promise. For years, sobriety came without craving. But freedom didn’t mean the work was finished. Slowly, pride crept in. After five years sober, Jeramy found himself believing he was beyond the danger zone—until the old pull returned and drinking “looked really good again.” This time, the turning point wasn’t dramatic—it was honest. Jeramy shares how naming his desire out loud before acting on it changed everything, exposing unresolved family pain and leading to difficult but necessary boundaries. His story isn’t about perfection or permanence. It’s about humility, obedience, and the kind of freedom in Christ that keeps inviting deeper truth long after sobriety begins. We Explore: — Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home shaped by alcoholism— How alcohol slowly became a coping mechanism rather than a pleasure— Living as a Christian while choosing alcohol despite conviction— The escalation into daily drinking and morning vodka— Job loss, medical warnings, and the moment of surrender— Experiencing radical freedom from desire—and why that wasn’t the end— Why some recovery structures felt like a different form of bondage— How pride quietly reopened the door after years sober— The power of naming desire out loud before acting on it— Setting painful family boundaries for the sake of safety— What freedom in Christ looks like amid ongoing sanctification Follow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Alcohol is a poison disguised as a remedy.” That’s the wisdom Ericka Andersen brings to this conversation—wisdom that developed after years of a quiet struggle that slowly took ahold of her and wouldn't let go. Like many evangelicals nowadays, she assumed drinking was neutral, normal, and largely harmless. But over time, she began to notice a widening gap between what alcohol promised and what it actually delivered. In this episode, Ericka shares how drinking slowly moved from social habit to something she felt unable to control—even though she knew early on that something was off but kept overriding that inner voice. She opens up about hiding alcohol, waking up in the middle of the night consumed by compulsion, and living with the tension of appearing fine on the outside while unraveling internally. Ericka also names the loneliness of not seeing stories like hers reflected in church spaces, where alcohol is increasingly treated as a non-issue or even a virtue and especially harms women. Rather than calling for rules or ultimatums, though, she makes a compelling case for curiosity—asking better questions about why we drink, what it costs us, and who it quietly harms. This conversation is for anyone who doesn’t look out of control but knows something is wrong; for those who don’t resonate with “rock bottom” narratives but still feel unsettled; and for Christians who are ready to examine cultural assumptions and get curious. We Explore: — How alcohol functions as a socially acceptable coping mechanism— Why early internal warnings are so easy to ignore— The gap between outward control and inner compulsion— How secrecy quietly reshapes drinking habits— Why many Christians don’t see their stories reflected in church culture— The myth that a problem has to look extreme to be real— How alcohol promises relief but delivers diminishing returns— Why asking better questions matters more than forcing behavior change— The difference between legal and harmless— What freedom begins to look like when denial ends Ericka's new book: Freely Sober Follow Ericka: @ericka_andersen Ericka's writing: https://erickaandersen.substack.com  Follow me: @jonseidl Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“When I numbed anxiety and uncertainty, I also numbed beauty and joy.” That moment of clarity from Ericka Graham came after years of abusing prescription drugs, when God met her in a beautiful way involving a bumble bee and a flower. The point? Substances numb the bad, sure, but they also numb the good. But addiction isn't the whole of Ericka's story. From a young age, she also struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder—compulsions, intrusive thoughts, and scrupulosity, the form of OCD that focuses on faith and religious rituals. In this episode, Ericka shares how OCD and scrupulosity quietly trained her nervous system to look for relief through control. She explains how religious fear, perfectionism, and an all-or-nothing mindset made it difficult to tell the difference between faith and compulsion—and how those same patterns eventually showed up in disordered eating and prescription medication abuse. None of it looked alarming from the outside. She was high-functioning, responsible, and sincere. But internally, anxiety was running the show. Ericka also reflects on the night in an emergency room that her denial cracked, why recovery didn’t begin with willpower, and how learning to sit with uncertainty became a crucial part of healing from both addiction and OCD-driven control. This conversation is for anyone who lives with intrusive thoughts, spiritual anxiety, or the exhausting need to get it “right,” and for those who’ve learned to cope quietly rather than ask for help. Ericka’s story is a reminder that numbness is never selective—and that real healing often begins when we stop managing ourselves and allow God to meet us in our fear instead of our certainty. We explore:  – How anxiety quietly fueled Ericka’s need for control– The early signs of compulsive behavior that were easy to overlook– Why high-functioning coping often delays honesty– How numbing anxiety also numbs joy, beauty, and connection– The progression from disordered eating to prescription drug abuse– Why denial can coexist with sincerity and faith– The moment that finally cracked her self-deception– The difference between willpower and surrender in recovery– How recovery reshaped her experience of God– Why feeling again was both terrifying and necessary Ericka's podcast: Curiously Follow Ericka: @mrserickagraham Follow me: @jonseidl Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“If you think you have an issue, you probably do.” That sentence from Carol McCracken gets to the heart of this week's episode. Carol didn’t fit the picture she had in her mind of what an alcoholic looked like. She was a Christian. A Bible study teacher. A ministry leader. A good mom. And for years, she told herself the same thing many of us do: I don’t have a problem—because I don’t look like that. But slowly (like it does for many) alcohol became her primary way of coping with chronic stress from raising a special needs son, fear, control, and the pressure to perform. She shares how drinking escalated over years, how secrecy and isolation took hold, and how her understanding of addiction was shaped by cultural myths, church misunderstanding, and even well-meaning pastoral advice. But all that came crashing down one afternoon, when a trip to get more wine ended in being arrested on the side of the road for a DUI. That moment became a surprising turning point, eventually leading to clarity, surrender, and an unexpected reconciliation after her divorce she never saw coming. (And neither did we!) This is a conversation for anyone who has ever wondered if their drinking “counts” as a problem, for those who can stop for a while but can’t stop thinking about starting again, and for anyone who is exhausted from carrying fear, control, and unprocessed pain. Carol’s story is a reminder that freedom doesn’t begin when life falls apart—it begins when we get honest. We explore: – How stress, fear, and control quietly fueled Carol’s drinking– Why performance and image management thrive in church culture– How alcohol slowly moved from enjoyment to emotional anesthesia– The myth that addiction has to look a certain way to be real– Why quantity and frequency aren’t the best measures of a problem– What happens when shame finally gives way to honesty– The role of surrender versus willpower in recovery– Why curiosity is often the first step toward freedom– How alcohol promised relief but delivered deeper captivity– What lasting healing looked like over time, not overnight– The surprising twist after getting arrested for a DUI– The reconciliation after her divorce she never saw coming Carol’s podcasts: “Faith Over Fear” and “Your Daily Bible Verse” Follow Carol: @carologlemccracken Follow me: @jonseidl Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“We can think and act our way to a new feeling. We cannot feel our way to a new way of thinking and acting.” That line from therapist and author Nicole Zasowski cuts to the heart of anxiety, addiction, and the stories we tell ourselves when life feels uncertain. Nicole is the author of What If It’s Wonderful?—a book built around a disarming and deeply important question: What if, instead of bracing for the worst, we allowed ourselves to hope? In this conversation, Nicole shares how a season marked by loss, miscarriage, and prolonged uncertainty exposed her own coping mechanisms—performance, control, and pessimism disguised as realism. She explains why catastrophizing isn’t just negative thinking but a form of control, and why preparing for the worst often robs us of joy without actually protecting us from pain. We also explore the connection between shame and escape, how feelings can be real without being true, and why naming what’s happening inside us is essential for healing. Nicole offers practical ways to interrupt shame cycles, retrain the brain toward hope, and steward pain without glorifying it. This episode is an invitation to tell ourselves a truer story—about who God is, who we are, and what might still be possible. We explore: — Why catastrophizing feels responsible but quietly fuels anxiety— How the brain learns fear faster than hope— The difference between feelings that are real and thoughts that are true— Why shame often drives both anxiety and addictive behaviors— How performance and control masquerade as faith— What miscarriage and unresolved grief revealed about Nicole’s inner life— Why hope is not denial, but courage— Practical ways to retrain anxious thought patterns— How naming internal experiences leads to healing— What it looks like to tell a truer story about God and ourselves Website: https://www.nicolezasowski.com Books: What It's Wonderful? and Daring Joy Follow Nicole on Instagram: @nicolezasowski Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I don’t want to be 60 years old having the same issues I had when I was 25.” What an honest and important statement from this week's guest, Brandon Ricks. Because the truth is, too many of us have just resigned ourselves to always being the way we are now. The fight for something different is hard, and so we give up. Brandon, though, finally had enough, and he started the painful but hopeful process of healing. Brandon is a successful entrepreneur with his own company. He projects strength and competency. But for a long time, behind that exterior was someone who had shut down for so long that he couldn’t feel anything—and didn’t know how to. Porn became one of the ways he coped. So did marijuana, which he used to numb himself when life felt too overwhelming or too painful to face. He even shares the detailed story of the period in his life where he considered ending it all (and what kept him from doing it). In this conversation, Brandon explains how his numbing behaviors weren’t just random vices but survival strategies—ways to avoid the internal world he’d never been taught to navigate. He talks about the moment the Holy Spirit confronted his hiding, how the collapse of a relationship exposed the fragility of his emotional world, and why counseling became the turning point he didn’t know he needed. Brandon also unpacks what long-term emotional shutdown does to the mind and body, why addiction thrives in silence and isolation, and why maturity requires discomfort, not avoidance. This episode reminds us that healing begins when we stop numbing and start telling the truth—the truth that Jesus says about us and our situations. We explore: —Why Brandon learned to shut down his emotions to survive—How porn and weed became coping mechanisms rather than “just habits”—The difference between self-protection and sanctification—Why the Holy Spirit confronted his hiding—How a painful breakup forced him to reckon with his inner world—Why healing requires community, honesty, and discomfort—The neurological impact of long-term emotional shutdown—The choice every man faces: hide and numb, or grow and tell the truth—Why he refuses to be “60 years old with the same issues I had at 25” Work with Brandon: https://productionmasterminds.com  Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Trauma does not reside in the bad event. Trauma is what becomes embedded in your body in the wake of a bad event when there’s no one there to comfort you.” What if you've been viewing trauma all wrong? And what if you don't think you've experienced trauma but you actually have? My guest this week is renowned trauma therapist Adam Young, and we're having a powerful conversation on not only trauma but our origin stories—specifically our family-of-origin stories. Adam explains why the wounds we minimize—the moments we brush off as “not that bad”—often carry the deepest impact. Because, as he explains, the real harm isn’t the event itself but what happened after: the absence of comfort, attunement, engagement, and care. That’s what embeds in our bodies and shapes the ways we cope. And often, that coping becomes unhealthy when we don't name what has happened and talk about it. Adam unpacks how trauma lives in the body, why triggers are often physiological rather than emotional, and how our relational histories shape the addictions we later develop. He also explains why dysregulation isn’t a character flaw but a survival response, and why compassion toward your younger self may be the most mature step you can take. This episode is an invitation to look beneath the behaviors you want to change and explore the stories that shaped them. Healing begins by honoring your wounds and telling the truth about where you come from. We Explore: — Why trauma is not the event but the absence of an empathetic witness afterward— The connection between chronic dysregulation and addiction— How the body keeps responding to stories long after the mind forgets— The role of triggers and why they’re physiological— Why kindness changes the heart more effectively than shame— What children need to develop securely—and what happens when those needs aren’t met— How unresolved family-of-origin stories form our adult coping strategies— Why honoring your wounds is an act of courage, not self-pity— Practical next steps for engaging your story with curiosity instead of contempt Website: https://adamyoungcounseling.com Podcast: The Place We Find Ourselves Book: Make Sense of Your Story Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“We all just have different medicines that we reach for.” That’s how Tim Sexton describes the real story behind the affair that blew up his life. Even though at one point that affair led to his downfall as a pastor, today it's not something he hides from. Instead, he's leaning into it in hopes to help others, and one of the ways he's doing that is by calling out the roots that run much deeper. Those roots for him? A lifelong addiction to people-pleasing and affirmation rooted in childhood trauma, fear, and spiritual confusion. In this conversation, Tim opens up about growing up with two alcoholic parents, feeling responsible for their chaos, and carrying a distorted picture of God into adulthood—one built on fear, performance, and the desperate need to be enough. He shares how that inner ache followed him into marriage and ministry, how it quietly shaped his identity, and how flattery, secrecy, and emotional validation became the “medicine” that eventually led to infidelity. But this is not only a story about destruction. It’s also a story about the long road back—through exposure, humility, counseling, discipleship, and the honest surrender that brings real freedom. Tim talks about the years he spent dismantling false identities, the painful undoing that came even after public confession, and the miracle of restoration he never expected. If you’ve ever thought you've done something beyond forgiveness, this episode reminds you that there is always hope. We explore: —Why infidelity was a symptom, not the root—How childhood trauma and alcoholic parents shaped Tim’s identity—People-pleasing as an addiction—Why fear of God (not awe of God) destroyed his early faith—The moment everything collapsed on a high-school football field—What public shame exposed in him—Why approval addiction is every bit as powerful as substance addiction—How Jesus rebuilt him from the inside out—Why the church must rethink restoration—What it really means when Tim says “The best definition of sin I’ve ever heard is you and me trying to get our needs met apart from Christ.” Website: M46Dads.com Book: Fight for Their Hearts: Hope and Help for Every Dad Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Our hypocrisy is our testimony. That’s God’s glory on display.” That truth from Faith Womack is exactly what those of us with messy sanctification stories not only need to hear, but embrace and embody. We all fall short. We all stumble. And yet, God uses our weakness—not our polished moments—to reveal His power and his grace. Faith Womack is one of the most popular Bible teachers on the internet with over 200,000 Instagram followers, and today she's joining the podcast to talk about how our struggles are exactly what God uses to not only refine us but to put himself on display. In this conversation, Faith and I also talk about how to actually read the Bible faithfully, why so many Christians misuse Scripture, and what it means to walk out holiness without falling into perfectionism. We explore the tension between grace and obedience, why context matters, why so many believers doubt their salvation, and how to build a life that’s rooted in the Word of God. She even helps us unpack some of the Scriptures used against those of us with messy sanctification stories and introduces us to her new book, No More Boring Bible Study. If you’ve ever felt like your failures or weaknesses disqualify you, this episode is a reminder that they are the very place God shines the brightest. We explore: — Why “hermeneutics” isn’t scary but essential— What legalism gets wrong about holiness— Lordship Salvation and the fear of “going on sinning”— How to hold grace and obedience together without shame— Why the thief on the cross destroys our performance mindset— What 1 John and Romans 7 really teach about believers and sin— How to stop weaponizing Scripture and start being formed by it— Why Bible study must be relational, not just informational— How abiding in Christ transforms us over time— The lifelong journey from hypocrisy to testimony Website: BibleNerdMinistries.com Instagram: @biblenerdministries Book: No More Boring Bible Study Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I was tormented. Literally tormented. I'd look in the mirror and go, ‘What are you doing? That’s not you.’” Brandon Puffer had everything, or so it seemed. He was a Major League pitcher with a World Series ring and was even being groomed to be a big league coach. But beneath the success were so many secret wounds that he refused to deal with. One night, after years of quiet compromising and numbing pain with alcohol, he made a decision that changed everything. In this episode, Brandon tells his story with raw honesty—from a childhood shaped by trauma and numbing, to five years of sobriety and faith, to the night that landed him in a Texas prison. He shares how small compromises led to massive consequences, what repentance really looks like, and how God’s grace can redeem even the most broken story. This isn’t a tale of excuses, it’s one of ownership, humility, and the long, painful work of redemption. We explore: — The slippery slope from “one drink” to full relapse— How trauma and insecurity planted the seeds of addiction— Why white-knuckling sobriety never works— What true repentance means: turning, not just confessing— How taking full responsibility became his path to freedom— The consequences that remain even after grace— How to live unashamed when the world won’t forget— Why humility, gratitude, and daily discipline keep him sober— What it means to be “faithful in the little things” after hitting bottom Website: coachpuffpositive.com Book: From the Bullpen to the State Pen Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Sin’s power is disconnection.” That's one of the essential ideas that runs through what therapist and author Chuck DeGroat talks about in this episode. A longtime pastor and counselor, Chuck isn't just commenting on burnout and addiction from afar—he's actually lived it. In fact, he opens up about his own journey of breaking down in his early forties, when his body and soul finally gave out after years of religious workaholism. That collapse became the doorway into healing what was broken within. That also happens to be the topic of his latest book, Healing What's Within. In this conversation, Chuck unpacks what he calls homing: the Spirit’s invitation to return to the worth, belonging, and purpose we were made for. We talk about addiction not as the problem, but as the attempted solution to disconnection. Chuck even explains why true recovery isn’t about behavior modification, but about reconnection—to God, to self, and to others. We also discuss why repentance must be specific, how trauma fragments our stories, and what it means to offer empathy to our unhealed parts rather than shame. This is a deeply pastoral, psychological, and hopeful episode for anyone who’s ever wondered, Why do I do what I don’t want to do—and how do I find my way home? We explore: — The three essential questions from Genesis that still heal today: “Where are you?”, “Who told you?”, and “Have you eaten?”— How addiction is an attempted solution to pain and disconnection— Why every human is, at some level, an addict— The myth of purity and how God still uses broken people— What true repentance looks like: specific, reparative, and relational— “Faux-nerability” vs. authentic vulnerability— Why trauma isn’t what happens to us, but what happens inside us— The four needs every child has: to be safe, seen, soothed, and secure— The danger of coping mechanisms that look holy, like workaholism— How to come home to yourself through curiosity, connection, and grace Website: chuckdegroat.net Explore one of Chuck's Soul Care Intensives Chuck's blog: "Sit With Chuck" Book: Healing What's Within Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Sin doesn’t care who you are or what you’ve seen—it’s coming for all of us.” That theme runs through Kirby Kelly’s story. See, she's part of a group of women you don't often hear about: females that struggle (or have struggled) with pornography addiction. Kirby's story is heartbreaking: She was exposed to pornography at four years old, again at seven, and then again at ten. Each time the exposure happened it left a deeper imprint of secrecy and shame. Even after coming to Christ, she carried the hidden struggle for years, convinced she had to fix it alone. In college, a simple exercise called "stand for your sister" opened the door to confession, community, and real healing. But Kirby's exposure to addiction goes beyond her own. She also happens to be the child of two parents who died of complications related to alcoholism.  In this episode, Kirby talks candidly about growing up as the daughter of two alcoholics, why isolation kept her stuck, and how confession—to God and within community—helped her find freedom. She also shares how abiding in Christ moved from discipline to desire, why boundaries are not buzzkills but protection, and the hope-filled message she wants every struggling parent to hear. We explore: — Early exposure, shame, and why secrecy fuels addiction— Confession vs. concealment and how healing begins in honest community— Sanctification: messy, daily, real— Escapism, control, and chasing dopamine— Abiding in Christ as the path to peace and freedom— Practical boundaries for media and triggers— What she tells parents wrestling with addiction and their kids Website: kirby-kelly.com Instagram: @kirbyisaboss Book: You Can Be Free  Podcast: Bought & Beloved Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Getting sober without salvation is like giving a painkiller to a cancer patient.” That’s how John Elmore describes the difference between behavior modification and true transformation. He'd know. He was on the verge of ending it all with a shotgun when he finally realized his problem went deeper than just the alcohol. In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, John shares how he spent nearly two decades in the grip of alcoholism—trying everything to fix himself except surrendering to Jesus. From age 13 to 30, alcohol was John's solution, not his problem. But when everything fell apart, he encountered the only thing that could actually save him: the Gospel. Today, as the teaching pastor at Harris Creek Baptist Church in Waco, TX, and the author of Freedom Starts Today, John helps others discover the same freedom that changed his life. In this episode, we talk about what it means to go from death to life, why sobriety without Jesus will never be enough, and how real recovery happens when grace becomes the motivation instead of guilt. This is about coming to the end of yourself and realizing there's not just something better, but someone better. We explore: — Why “getting sober” isn’t the same as being saved— How sin’s power is greater than willpower— Why alcohol wasn’t the problem—it was the “solution”— What happens when you aim for Jesus instead of behavior management— The spiritual warfare behind addiction and shame— Why every idol eventually destroys what it promises— How to find freedom one day at a time through repentance— John’s ACT framework: Ask, Commit, Talk— What daily dependence on Christ looks like after recovery— Why transformation is only possible through the gospel Follow John Elmore on Instagram. Book: Freedom Starts Today Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I didn’t know how to sit still with myself. I didn’t want to be alone with myself.” That’s what Hannah Brencher realized when she was finally able to admit she was an addict. But she wasn't addicted to any substance. Instead, she suffered from an addiction much more common, much more acceptable: her phone. And so many of us share that addiction. Hannah, one of my favorite writers and the author of The Unplugged Hours, opens up about what it took to finally put her phone down, how grief and boredom became her greatest teachers, and why building an inner life is the work we can’t outsource to our screens. We also dive into what happens when distraction becomes dependence, when we build our identity on productivity, and when silence feels like the scariest place in the world. This is a conversation about learning to pay attention again, about how to listen to the still, small voice that says enough is enough, and especially about understanding how to be present. If your addiction is to technology, especially to your phone, this episode is important. We explore:  — How phone addiction mirrors other forms of addiction— Why we can’t heal if we won’t be still— The illusion of productivity and why our worth isn’t in our output— How the phone amplifies anxiety, loneliness, and shame— The spiritual discipline of paying attention— How boredom becomes the birthplace of creativity— What it means to build an “inner life” instead of curating an online one— Why grace, not guilt, has to lead this journey— The difference between honesty and vulnerability— What “enough is enough” sounds like in everyday life Follow Hannah: @hannahbrencher Book: The Unplugged Hours Hannah's website: hannahbrenchercreative.com Get Hannah's emails here. Free "unplugged hours" tracker. Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Once I started drinking, I didn’t want to stop until something made me.” That’s how Stephanie Ziebell describes the grip alcohol had on her life. Stephanie got sober in Wisconsin—the capital of drinking culture. The place where not having alcohol at your wedding is like not having a bride. But as she shares, even in the middle of a state built on beer, Jesus met her in the mess and gave her freedom she couldn’t find through willpower alone. In this episode, Stephanie opens up about her journey from college party girl to high-powered attorney, from “just wine” to 3 a.m. panic attacks and text messages to her boss that said, “I’m an alcoholic and I need help.” She talks about trying to hold everything together—career, marriage, motherhood—while secretly unraveling, and how God used a boss’s compassion, a pastor’s prayer, and Celebrate Recovery to bring her home. This is a story for anyone who’s tried to dress up sin as "self care," negotiate with themselves over their drinking, or white-knuckle their way through life. And especially those who hit rock bottom, only to find it kept going deeper.  We explore: —Why Wisconsin’s drinking culture is unlike anywhere else—How “sophisticated wine drinking” became the new disguise for addiction—What it’s like to hit multiple rock bottoms before real change—Why 3 a.m. panic attacks can become divine wake-up calls—The difference between knowing and admitting you have a problem—How shame keeps us stuck and grace sets us free—What it looks like when a boss and a pastor respond with compassion, not condemnation—How Celebrate Recovery and Scripture changed Stephanie’s mindset—Why grace—not guilt—is the most powerful motivator for healing—What life looks like now on the other side of surrender Follow Stephanie: @radiantinbattle Get Stephanie's sobriety guides here. Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Shame is first and foremost not a thing that begins with me thinking a certain thing about myself. It begins first as a thing that I feel literally in my body.” That’s how Dr. Curt Thompson reframed shame in our incredible conversation—and I think he'll probably do the same for you, too. Curt is a psychiatrist, author, and speaker who has shaped the conversation around shame, vulnerability, and the stories we tell ourselves. In this episode, we talk about why addicts often feel trapped in cycles of shame, how vulnerability heals what hiding cannot, and why our deepest longings can only be met when we’re seen, soothed, safe, and secure. This conversation weaves together neuroscience, theology, psychology, and pastoral wisdom. Curt unpacks why shame isolates, how addicts can actually become addicted to shame itself, and why bearing our wounds may be the most powerful witness of all. If you've struggled with shame related to who you are, who you were, or what you've done, please listen to this episode. You won't regret it. We explore: —Why shame starts in the body, not the mind—The connection between shame and addiction—Why we sometimes become addicted to shame itself—How storytelling helps us make sense of pain—The difference between godly grief and toxic shame—Why vulnerability is central to healing—The role of wounds in the Gospel and why Jesus models them—The four core needs: seen, soothed, safe, secure—How vulnerability allows others to feel known and loved—Why the Christian story reframes shame into redemption Website: curtthompsonmd.com Podcast: The Being Known Podcast Books: The Soul of Shame, The Soul of Desire, Anatomy of the Soul Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“High performers can hold it together—but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.” That’s how Julie Holly describes the tension she lived in for years. On the outside, she was a successful entrepreneur, coach, and podcaster. But on the inside, alcohol was becoming her go-to solution for stress, escape, and the ache of not belonging. And like many high-performers, her success masked the weight that alcohol was starting to become round her neck. But a doctor’s curiosity and an honest comment from one of her children gave her the reality check she had been running from. In this conversation, Julie opens up about how drinking became tied to belonging, how craft cocktails became a nightly ritual that both connected and slowly destroyed, and how a doctor’s gentle curiosity helped her finally face the truth. In addition, she explains the quiet midnight wrestling matches she had with God, how mining her story of origin revealed abandonment wounds, and the courage it takes to name alcohol for what it really is. This isn’t a rock-bottom story. It’s about a high achiever learning that freedom comes not from holding it all together, but from finally letting go. We explore: —Why high-functioning people struggle to admit alcohol is a problem—How Julie’s drive for belonging fueled her drinking—The danger of comparison and the “at least I’m not that bad” trap—Why story work and exploring our past is essential for healing—How God patiently pursues us through small moments and people—The role of ego and elitism in justifying drinking—Why midnight wrestling with God reveals deeper unrest—The moment a doctor’s curiosity, not condemnation, opened her eyes—How money spent on alcohol can be repurposed into kingdom work—The freedom of realizing you belong because you belong to the Father Instagram: @thejulieholly Julie's newsletter: Read it here Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“If I’m numbing the lows, I’m numbing the highs. And then I’m just in this nothingness.” Here's the thing about alcohol: So many of us use it to numb the lows, but alcohol isn't a precision numbing agent. What does that mean? That while it can be useful to deal with the valleys, it also keeps you from enjoying the peaks. That’s exactly how Sarah Zanotti describes the trap alcohol created in her life. Sarah is an actress, filmmaker, songwriter, and content creator you’ve probably seen in sketches with John Crist. But beneath the laughs is a story of drunk driving, OCD, eating disorders, and a desperate search for control that nearly cost her everything. In this conversation, Sarah gets brutally honest about the night she drove drunk with her niece, why that wasn’t even her rock bottom, and the voice of God that told her: “The person you want to be can’t take alcohol with her.” She talks about why grace became more addicting than alcohol, how creativity was reborn in recovery, and what it means to live in peace instead of constant performance. We explore: —Sarah’s creative journey from Berklee to Nashville to filmmaking—How OCD, religious scrupulosity, and eating disorders shaped her story—Driving drunk with her niece in the backseat and why that wasn’t rock bottom—Why addiction often grows out of perfectionism and control—How alcohol felt like instant relief but robbed her of real peace—The moment she realized, “the person I want to be can’t take alcohol with her”—Learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of running from them—How sobriety rebirthed her creativity and music career—What her relationship with God looks like now—less careful, more honest—Why the biggest lie is believing we’re separate from God Instagram: @sarahzanotti Film: The Unraveling (available on Amazon) Music: Sobering Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Forgiveness is not the goal of salvation. Fellowship with God is the goal of salvation.” Think about that for a second. I had to. That’s how Kyle Worley reframes the Gospel in his new book, Home with God. And at first glance, it may seem...odd. Because so many of us think salvation is mainly about getting our sins forgiven so we can go to heaven. But Kyle rightly blows that up. Instead, he explains that forgiveness is just the doorway. The real point of salvation is life with God, not just in the future but here and now. In other words, life is about abiding with Christ. And as I've come to find out, that is crucial to recovering from any addiction.  In this conversation, Kyle—pastor, theologian, and author—helps us rethink salvation, grace, and identity. We talk about why forgiveness isn’t the finish line, why grace feels so disruptive, and how union with Christ resets the “broken compass” of our desires. If you’ve ever wondered what it really means to be saved, or felt like you were stuck chasing performance, this episode will reframe the story: salvation is about coming home. Again and again and again. We explore:  —Why salvation is about fellowship, not just forgiveness—How identity in Christ reshapes recovery and freedom—The difference between behavior change and true transformation—Why grace feels disruptive and hard to receive—How Kyle counsels addicts through union with Christ—The “broken compass” of desire and how Christ reorients it—Faith as agreement, affection, and allegiance—How attention and desire shape the people we become—Why repentance is more than reflection—The Heidelberg Catechism and the comfort of not belonging to yourself Books: Home with God and Formed for Fellowship Website: kyleworley.net Newsletter: Sacred Slang Instagram: @kyleworley Podcast: Knowing Faith Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.