The Intentional Fatherhood Podcast

We’ve reached the biggest topic in our Seven Deadly Sins series: pride, what we’re calling “the queen of sins.” Pride distorts how we see the world. In this conversation, we share personal stories of pride, including how feeling inadequate made it hard for Brook to see reality clearly, because he didn’t know how he measured up. That’s where comparison creeps in, with envy close behind, and it raises a hard question: what do you still need to prove? Pride often surfaces when our child acts out in public, when we disagree with our wife, or when we fail at work, moments that leave us asking, “Who am I?”Pride hides in sneaky forms like arrogance, insecurity, defensiveness, control, image management, people pleasing, entitlement, blame, and perfectionism. It also has a spiritual version: “I understand theology better,” “my family does things the right way,” or “my kids behave better.” We all struggle with it, and Scripture warns that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. A life of pride is a fight against God that we won’t win.At its root, pride is a longing to matter and a search for glory no one is meant to hold. Jesus invites us to simply be, because our worth rests in who we are, not what we do. Humility is the antidote, and it looks like holding our tongue, being quick to listen and slow to speak, serving those around us, and practicing what Tim Keller calls self-forgetfulness. Seeing our pride clearly shows us our desperate need for Christ, who humbled himself to the point of death on a cross. And ultimately, we can rest in the goodness of a God who saves us from our pride.We close with practical steps for building humility, a muscle that grows with practice:Try a day of radically giving more than you take, without telling anyone.Ask your wife and God, “What do I not see that’s obvious to you? What am I missing?”The next time you’re in conflict, pray out loud or write down how you’re experiencing the other person, and let God show you what’s really happening.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: James 4:6, James 1:19 + Philippians 2:3–8Books Mentioned: Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God by Jonathan Edwards + Gentle and Lowly by Dane OrtlundSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

This is the episode we were nervous to record. Justin admits greed might be a blind spot, something he’s still in the middle of figuring out. So instead of teaching, we asked some revealing questions and answered them honestly.What we found is that greed is rarely about money. It usually shows up as anxiety, like checking the bank account one more time, and underneath that anxiety is often control, comparison, and fear. It reveals deeper questions about safety, security, and trust, and often a fear of being embarrassed or dependent if we were to lose what we have.As we dug further, it got emotional. Justin wrestles honestly with whether he’s greedy or grateful, and notices that as God has entrusted him with more (a business, a family and other responsibilities), his trust in God hasn’t kept pace. Behind it is a deep desire to provide and an equally deep fear that he won’t. As we concluded, men still carry the insecurities of a small boy; manhood just teaches us how to hide them.From there we bring the gospel to the center, drawing on 1 Timothy 6:10 and Genesis 12:2. Why would an adopted son of the King worry about money? We also get practical: don’t be alone with your wallet, so bring trusted people into big financial decisions. Budget, and include a generosity line item separate from your tithe that your kids can be part of. Generosity is the antidote to greed, and like sin, it can be passed down through generations as a blessing to our kids.There’s no neat bow on this one. We’re all works in progress. So take these questions with you:How much is enough?Is there something you own that would be hard to give away?What are you afraid would happen to you if you had significantly less than you have now?When did you first learn that money, success, or possessions meant you were safe, valuable, or winning?God, am I using my money to honor you? Is my house too big? Am I blinded by greed?Be curious. Ask a friend. Ask God. The only wrong response is assuming you’re fine. Consider this episode permission, and grace. Just receive it.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: 1 Timothy 6:10 + Genesis 12:2Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Our Seven Deadly Sins series continues with gluttony: the desire to consume beyond what we actually need. That certainly shows up at the table, but also in our scrolling, shopping, and substance consumption. Gluttony is sneaky and easy to dismiss, and since your metabolism can hide both your sins and your virtues, it can go unnoticed for a lifetime. So this conversation is really about the heart. Are you eating to delight in God's creation, or to cope? Or a better question might be: What do you reach for when you're hurting?Food and drink aren't bad in themselves. They're gifts from God. Even in Eden, we were made for dependence, needing food to live, and for delight, enjoying trees that were pleasing to the eye. Gluttony perverts those into excess and shame. Its promise is comfort, but whether we run to food or starve ourselves of it, we're trying to solve some sort of pain that food can't fix, and many people stay spiritually and emotionally stuck because they won't face it. We also walk through Aquinas' five forms of gluttony (eating too soon, too expensively, too much, too eagerly, and too daintily), debate whether smaller vices keep us from larger ones, and hear Justin's framework for feasting, fasting, and "ordinary fare" days.Practical Ways to Fight Gluttony:Take your avoidant consumption more seriously than you think you need to. If you're consuming to change how you feel, you're avoiding something, and you won't heal until you face it.Take gratitude more seriously than you think you need to. Receive good things as gifts, not escapes.Practice the sacred "no." Find out what has become a god by going without it. Skip dessert, leave your phone in another room, or stop eating before you're stuffed.Fast from your favorite thing. Set down whatever you instinctively run to when you're uncomfortable.Pray for self-control. Ask God to grow self-discipline in you.None of us have this dialed in, but we're learning that every craving points to a deeper hunger that only God can satisfy. So instead of numbing the ache, we invite you to face your vices and let Him meet you there.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:9Books Mentioned: The Body Teaches the Soul by Justin Whitmel Earley + The Supper of the Lamb by Robert Farrar CaponSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

As we continue our series on the seven deadly sins, we pivot to the more outward, consumptive sins: lust, greed, and gluttony, specifically focusing on lust in this episode. Pornography often comes to mind first, but it's only one of many ways lust can show up in our lives. Since most of us have heard plenty about what not to do, we start with a better question: what is sex actually for?Sex was God's idea from the beginning. It points to our deeper longing for union with God, unites us with our spouse, and brings forth new life. Lust isn't the desire for sex within marriage. It's a disordered search for intimacy that promises connection but trains us to avoid it, keeping us in a loop fueled by excuses like "you're stressed" or "you're lonely." Desire isn't the enemy, but it becomes destructive when it stops asking, "How can I love?" As Augustine said, our hearts are restless until they rest in God, and lust promises to fill that restlessness but never delivers. In the end, lust isn't wanting too much of God's design. It's wanting far too little of it.Brook gets personal about what lust takes from fathers, sharing how it affected his family of origin and how pornography became a temptation during an overwhelming season of life. We talk about asking, "What's the thing behind the thing?" and why taking our sin seriously helps us take God's grace seriously.Practically, here's where we landed:You'll be most protected from lust when you're running to God and to your marriage for intimacy.Stay in open, ongoing conversation about lust with covenant friends.Your wife should know the passcodes to your phone, and you should never be alone with it.Don't let your kids be alone on the internet.Podcast Episodes Mentioned: Sex in Marriage: Communication, Connection + Healing Past Wounds Around Intimacy (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts) + The Hidden Blockers of Sexual Desire in Marriage + How to Move Past Them Together (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts) + Brook’s Interview on the Open Spaces Podcast (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts)Protect Young Eyes: Website, Instagram + FacebookIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: Genesis 1, Genesis 2:24, Genesis 4:7, Matthew 5:27–28, Matthew 19:6, Ephesians 5, James 1:14–15, 1 Corinthians 10:12, Joshua 24:15Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

We don't usually call it envy. We call it "just being honest," or "I'm not jealous, I just wish things were different." But envy is sneakier than that. It's a refusal to be content with the life God actually gave us, and it shows up as comparison, insecurity, gossip, and pushing people out. This week continues the Seven Deadly Sins series with a hard look at where envy starts, why it hurts the person feeling it most, and how to fight it with the one thing strong enough to counter it: love.Envy starts with discontentment in your own story, not with someone else's blessing. And here's the part we don't say out loud enough: the primary victim of envy is you. It's easiest to feel toward people close to us, within the same sphere or vocation, which is part of why it shows up so often in the church, where we're quick to rejoice at someone's downfall and slow to rejoice at their win. And it almost always has some sort of wound underneath it: shame, a father wound, or performance-based love. That's why you can't white-knuckle your way out of it. You only defeat envy by practicing its opposite.Six Ways to Reframe Envy as Love:Envy asks, "Why them?" Love says, "Thank God for them."Envy says, "There's not enough." Love says, “God's grace isn't scarce.”Envy says, "I have to compete." Love says, "I get to celebrate."Envy says, "Their success diminishes me." Love says, "Their success blesses us."Envy says, "I wish I had their life." Love says, "I want to steward the life God gave me."Envy says, "Why not me?" Love says, "Good for them."Practices: The Antidote to EnvySpecifically confess the ways you are jealous and envious of people in your life.Stop scrolling.Practice the discipline of gratitude.Practice the discipline of encouragement.Practice celebration.This kind of change happens slowly, and only by the Spirit's work in you, not by trying harder. We spend so much of our lives convinced there's never enough, when half the time we're complaining about a prayer God already answered. Ask yourself if you're wishing you had someone else's career, family, or circumstances. Then let it go. There's always room for more in the kingdom, and your life, the one right in front of you, is the one God is using to shape you.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: James 3:16, Proverbs 14:30, 1 Corinthians 13:4 + Philippians 4:11-13Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram