Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter

Sobriety got cool.Mocktails got beautiful. Alcohol-free bottle shops opened. Sober influencers took over Instagram. Retreats, apps, coaches, supplements, memberships, courses and $17 zero-proof cocktails followed.And honestly? Some of that was fucking fantastic.The sober-curious movement helped dismantle the old binary that said you either drank “normally” or had to hit rock bottom before you were allowed to question alcohol. It made not drinking visible, interesting and — finally — socially acceptable.I benefited from that movement. I built a coaching business in it. I started this podcast in it.But somewhere along the way, sobriety got swept into the wellness industrial complex.And wellness knows how to do one thing exceptionally well: turn human problems into things we can buy.In this solo episode, I’m digging into the complicated intersection of sobriety, wellness culture, capitalism and influencer culture — including my own participation in it.We talk about the rise of the “sobriety aesthetic,” the explosion of sober coaching, and what happens when lived experience starts getting confused with actual expertise. We also get into why recovery is uniquely vulnerable territory for influencer culture: the person on the other side of the screen may not simply need a better morning routine. She may need medical care, psychiatric treatment, therapy, medication, treatment for withdrawal or a higher level of support.And then there’s the larger problem: we are fucking exhausted from optimizing ourselves.Track your sleep. Fix your cortisol. Heal your gut. Regulate your nervous system. Lift weights. Eat your protein. Journal. Meditate. Cold plunge. Heal your attachment style. Become your highest-performing, best-sleeping, most emotionally regulated self before breakfast.Can we have a regular fucking Tuesday?Sobriety does not need to become another performance.For some people, not drinking improves their sleep, skin, energy and productivity. Great. But for others — myself included — sobriety was never about a glow-up.It was about stopping something that was destroying my life.I didn't get sober to spend the rest of my life obsessively monitoring myself. I got sober because I wanted my life back — a beautiful, messy, creative, imperfect life.And that's the distinction I don't want us to lose.Wellness trends come and go. Algorithms move on. Cigarettes become cool again. Martinis become aspirational again. The zeitgeist changes.But recovery existed before Instagram discovered it, and it will exist long after wellness culture finds its next obsession.In this episode:How the sober-curious movement genuinely helped destigmatize not drinkingWhen sobriety shifted from a recovery conversation into a consumer categoryThe wellness industry's obsession with selling us solutionsMocktails, sober retreats, apps, memberships and the “sobriety aesthetic”The uncomfortable rise of influencer-to-sober-coach pipelinesWhy lived experience matters — but isn't automatically clinical expertiseThe ethical responsibility of working with vulnerable peopleWhy women are especially targeted by the endless self-improvement machineThe growing backlash against optimization cultureWhy your recovery doesn't need to become another fucking jobWhat happens when sobriety stops being culturally coolWhy freedom — not optimization — was the point all alongYou don't need to become a perfectly optimized sober person.You don't need perfect sleep, perfect nutrition, a regulated nervous system 24/7, a flawless morning routine or a shelf full of supplements.You can decide alcohol doesn't belong in your life.And then you can go live the fucking life you got sober to experience.Sobriety was never a wellness trend.www.katevitela.com

What happens when you quit drinking—and realize alcohol wasn't actually making you wild, confident, sexy, rebellious, or free?Maybe it was just giving you permission to be the woman you already were.In this episode, I'm joined by Sarah Anderson, aka The Booze Free Bitch—corporate attorney, creator, coach, and almost seven years sober—for a conversation about alcohol, feminism, midlife, and why sobriety can become one hell of an act of rebellion.Sarah and I talk about our shared histories as card-carrying “good girls”: getting the grades, building the careers, following the rules, doing what was expected—and eventually using alcohol as a permission slip to loosen up, get loud, dance, wear the outfit, say the thing, and stop being so damn manageable.But something interesting happens when you get sober.You realize you never needed the permission slip.We talk about Sarah's progression from a seemingly “normal” social drinker to becoming physically dependent on alcohol, and why the stereotype of what someone with an alcohol problem looks like kept her from asking for help sooner.We also get into why Sarah believes alcohol is a feminist issue: the normalization and marketing of drinking to women, wine-mom culture, the similarities she sees between today's alcohol culture and the way cigarettes were once marketed, and what happens when women stop numbing themselves and start trusting their own voices.And then we get into the good stuff: becoming sober women in our 40s who are somehow bigger, louder, wilder, bitchier, more confident, and more unapologetic than we ever were while drinking.Because maybe sobriety isn't about spending the rest of your life thinking about how not to drink.Maybe eventually it becomes an identity shift.You don't want the booze anymore. You want the life.In this episode, we talk about:The slow progression from social drinking to alcohol dependenceWhy successful, high-achieving women can struggle to recognize when alcohol has become a problemShame and the myth of being “uniquely broken”Why connection with other women can be so powerful in recoveryAlcohol as a feminist issueThe “good girl” conditioning so many women grew up withUsing alcohol as permission to be wild, sexy, loud, social, or rebelliousWhy sobriety can rebuild self-trustWine-mom culture and the normalization of alcoholSarah's belief that “drinking alcohol is not fucking normal”Why she compares today's alcohol culture to cigarette cultureMidlife, sobriety, confidence, and running completely out of fucksBecoming the woman you thought you needed alcohol to becomeWhy long-term sobriety doesn't have to mean thinking about alcohol all daySarah's Redefined Normal sober clothing and her philosophy of “wear the identity”Making sobriety visible, rebellious, stylish—and anything but boringSarah's mission is bigger than simply helping women stop drinking. She wants to change the cultural story around alcohol and show women that life on the other side isn't smaller.It's bigger.You can still dance all night. Wear the stilettos. Get the tattoos. Say the inappropriate thing. Take up space. Be sexy. Be difficult. Be ambitious. Be a fucking bitch if that's what the occasion calls for.You just get to remember all of it.Connect with Sarah Anderson:Instagram: @theboozefreebitchCheck out Sarah's coaching, sober community, and Redefined Normal merch through the links in her Instagram bio.Connect with Kate:Instagram: @katevitelaRewired Sober is a podcast about reinvention, identity, psychology, style, fashion, midlife, feminism, body image, sobriety—and the art of evolving.

What if midlife isn’t about becoming someone new—but finally giving yourself permission to be more of who you’ve always been?In this episode of Rewired Sober, I’m joined by Lisa Hart Anderson, certified women’s life coach, recovery coach, content creator, and the woman behind Hart2Hart Coach. With a combined audience of more than 92,000 across Instagram and TikTok, Lisa has built a community by doing something deceptively simple: showing up as herself.Dancing. Swearing. Laughing. Talking about recovery. Talking about menopause. Talking about being a grandmother. Occasionally waking up in the middle of the night and deleting something because even women who look wildly confident can still wonder, Oh God, what are people thinking about me?And that’s exactly where this conversation gets interesting.Lisa and I talk about the strange experience of becoming more visible as women at an age when society often seems to suggest we should be doing the opposite.We get into confidence versus insecurity, the fear of being misunderstood, body image and aging, menopause, creativity, social media, fashion and personal style—and why neither of us wants to spend the rest of our lives trapped inside a single identity called “the sober woman.”Sobriety may have made our lives possible. But it doesn’t have to remain the most interesting thing about us.We also talk about the pressure women feel not to look like we’re “seeking attention.” Because apparently wanting to be seen, heard, creative, expressive and visible still requires some sort of permission slip once you're a grown-ass woman.No thanks.Lisa shares how social media became part of her recovery, why dancing and creating can be healthy forms of escape, and what she’s learned from putting herself in front of tens of thousands of strangers—even while admitting that confidence is still very much a work in progress.We talk about style as a form of identity and communication, Lisa’s evolution from bows and Christmas sweaters to dressing according to her mood, and why taking care of herself became meaningful again after getting sober.And then we get to one of my favorite parts of the conversation: failure.Lisa has started things that didn't work. So have I. We’ve spent money on ideas, changed directions, tried things, embarrassed ourselves and occasionally wondered what the hell we were doing.And we’re still trying.Because maybe failure isn’t evidence that you should stop.Maybe it’s evidence that you had the nerve to participate in your own life.In this episode, we talk about: midlife visibility and the fear of being “cringe”; why confidence and insecurity can exist at the same time; sobriety as the foundation rather than your entire identity; being misunderstood online; aging, body image and becoming more comfortable in your own skin; menopause, empty nesting and identity shifts; creativity as a healthy coping mechanism; fashion and style as self-expression; why women are taught to apologize for wanting attention; the addictive side of social media and content creation; refusing to shove an entire human being into a “niche”; and why failing at something might actually mean you’re doing life right.One of my favorite ideas from this conversation?Congratulations on your failures. Most people never try.Lisa and I are both interested in what comes after recovery: the bigger life, the experiments, the creativity, the failures, the ridiculous ideas, the next chapters and the willingness to keep becoming.We’re not done.Not even fucking close.Connect with Lisa:Instagram & TikTok: @hart2heartcoachWebsite: Hart2Hart CoachConnect with Kate:Instagram: @katevitela

I have always considered being a get-shit-done person one of my greatest strengths.Have an idea? Start it.Have a problem? Solve it.Want to try something? Stop overthinking and fucking do it.I've basically built part of my identity around Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic philosophy: done is better than good. And in a lot of ways, that mindset has served me incredibly well. It's helped me start businesses, write articles, walk runway stages, record nearly 100 podcast episodes, embarrass myself occasionally, and keep moving anyway.But lately I've been asking a slightly uncomfortable question:What if my ability to get shit done isn't always about courage or confidence? What if sometimes I'm just really fucking impatient?In this solo episode, I'm looking at my relationship with productivity, patience, uncertainty—and why slowing down can feel surprisingly uncomfortable when you've spent years being proud of how much you can accomplish.Because there's a difference between refusing to let perfectionism keep you stuck and being unable to tolerate the slow, messy process of actually getting good at something. Sewing and creative projects have been teaching me this lesson whether I like it or not: some things cannot be rushed.We also get into my absolute loathing of indecision and a realization I didn't particularly enjoy having: sometimes what I've called decisiveness might actually be a low tolerance for uncertainty. Making the decision closes the loop. It gives me movement, resolution and relief. But sometimes life doesn't have an answer yet—and forcing one isn't the same thing as being confident.And then we get to the bigger issue: productivity as self-worth.What happens when I got a lot done today quietly becomes today mattered—and eventually, therefore, I matter?That's where things get a little dark.I talk about realizing how uncomfortable I became with three completely unscheduled days, and how easily rest turned into thoughts about what I should be creating, organizing, learning, earning or accomplishing.We also look at the particularly sneaky version of hustle culture sold to women. Ours doesn't always look like an 80-hour workweek. Sometimes it comes beautifully packaged as optimization: the perfect morning routine, perfect skin, strength training, meditation, hydration, a profitable business and continually "becoming her." It's still hustle culture. It just has better lighting and a matcha.And social media certainly doesn't help. Seeing other women reinvent themselves can give us permission to imagine something different for our own lives—but inspiration can quickly become urgency. Permission can turn into FOMO. Suddenly we're not enjoying our evolution; we're trying to catch up to somebody else's.Maybe the next evolution isn't another reinvention.Maybe it's patience.Discernment. Attention. Learning to tolerate uncertainty. Allowing ourselves to rest without earning it. Letting something take as long as it takes.I still believe in done is better than good. Sometimes you absolutely need to stop preparing and hit the damn button.But two things can be true.Sometimes slowing down is better than speed. Waiting is better than deciding. And urgency isn't the same thing as courage.Because ultimately:I don't want my ability to produce in life to become the measurement of whether I'm living a worthwhile life.Maybe the next chapter isn't about getting more shit done.Maybe it's about learning which things deserve our time, our attention—and our patience.

What if getting sober didn’t mean leaving the party—but finally becoming fully present for your own life?In this episode of Rewired Sober, I’m joined by Claire Comai, founder and creative director of Rehab Studios and Vice President and Creative Director of Break Free NYFW’s Recovery on the Runway.Claire and I talk about the intersection of fashion, recovery, identity, creativity, and reinvention—and why the old image of sobriety as staying home and playing it safe simply doesn’t fit everyone.After getting sober at 24, Claire found herself trying to figure out who she was without alcohol. Instead of suppressing her love of excitement, fashion, travel, risk, and a little bit of chaos, she began finding healthier places to put that energy. That journey eventually led to Rehab Barbie, her own fashion collection, and now Rehab Studios—a creative studio and PR firm working with designers and producing Break Free’s growing New York Fashion Week showcase.We talk about why fashion and alcohol have historically been so intertwined, the fear that sobriety will make life boring, and the reality that neither of us could live the lives we have now if we were still drinking.We also get into Recovery on the Runway, how Break Free is changing the visual identity of recovery, why representation matters, the importance of supporting emerging designers, and Claire’s belief that relationships can become their own form of currency in an industry that can often feel incredibly pay-to-play.And yes—we discuss the ongoing declaration that “New York Fashion Week is dead.” Claire and I have some thoughts.This conversation is about refusing the idea that recovery requires becoming quieter, smaller, safer, or less yourself.Sometimes recovery isn’t about subduing who you are.Sometimes it’s about finally becoming capable of being more of who you are.In this episode:Sobriety, identity, and rediscovering yourselfFashion as creativity, expression, and communityWhy sobriety doesn’t have to mean giving up nightlife or glamourReplacing destructive chaos with creative risk and adventureClaire’s evolution from Rehab Barbie to Rehab StudiosThe growth of Break Free NYFW and Recovery on the RunwayAlcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and mental health within fashion cultureWhy sober representation mattersThe changing culture around non-alcoholic drinkingWhy New York Fashion Week still mattersSupporting emerging designers in a pay-to-play industryBuilding a career through relationships, collaboration, and communityWhat’s next for Rehab Studios and Break FreeConnect with Claire & Rehab StudiosInstagram: @clairecomaiRehab Studios: @rehabstudiosnyTikTok: @rehabstudiosnyWebsite: rehabbarbie.comFollow Break Free NYFWInstagram: @breakfreenyfwDesigners, models, stylists, press, makeup artists, sponsors, and other creatives interested in participating in future Break Free NYFW events can connect with Claire and the Break Free team through their social channels.Connect with KateInstagram: @katevitelaFor speaking, workshops, collaborations, or podcast inquiries, connect with Kate through social media or katevitela.com.