Psychologists Off the Clock

What does it really mean to speak up—and what happens when telling the truth comes at a cost?In this special episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard and Yael introduce Jill’s powerful new podcast, We the Sunlight, a show about the brave act of speaking up in a culture that too often rewards silence. Then, listeners get an exclusive preview of the first episode, featuring Jules Bindi, one of the first women to publicly share that she was sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein before the #MeToo movement began.Jules shares her story—from growing up surrounded by trauma and abuse to building a successful career as a massage therapist to Hollywood’s elite. She describes the grooming, manipulation, and sexual assaults she experienced at the hands of one of the most powerful men in the entertainment industry, as well as the complicated question that haunted her afterward: Why did she go back?Together, Jill and Jules explore the complex survival responses that can make victims blame themselves, including fawning, appeasing, and attempting to maintain safety in the face of overwhelming power. Jules also shares what finally helped her come forward, what she feared would happen if she spoke publicly, and why she ultimately decided that staying silent came at too high a cost.You’ll hear about shame, self-forgiveness, post-traumatic growth, and the complicated reality of speaking truth to power. Most importantly, Jules offers a powerful message to anyone considering whether to come forward—and to those who have already spoken up and are living with the consequences.Join us for this moving introduction to We the Sunlight and the story of one woman who discovered that courage doesn’t mean speaking without fear. Sometimes, it means deciding that something matters more than staying silent.Listen and Learn:The story behind Jill’s new podcast, We the Sunlight, and how her own experience speaking publicly about a family member who caused harm inspired her to create a show centered on truth-tellingWhy speaking up can be both deeply meaningful and incredibly costly—and how people weigh the potential consequences before deciding whether to come forwardJules Bindi’s journey from a childhood shaped by abuse and trauma to becoming a successful massage therapist with high-profile celebrity clientsHow Harvey Weinstein used power, praise, promises, and manipulation to groom Jules and exploit the enormous power imbalance between themWhy survivors may continue contact with or return to someone who has harmed them—and how survival responses such as fawning and appeasing can complicate our understanding of traumaWhy asking, “Why did they go back?” can fuel shame and self-blame when survivors are already struggling to understand their own responsesHow fear of retaliation, public scrutiny, victim-blaming, and professional consequences can make speaking out against a powerful person feel nearly impossibleWhat ultimately motivated Jules to come forward publicly and later participate in the legal case against WeinsteinHow becoming a mother helped Jules reconsider what she would want her own daughter to do if she were ever harmedWhy Jules says she experienced fewer negative consequences from speaking up than she expected—and how speaking publicly allowed her to put down some of the weight she had carried in silenceThe difference between taking responsibility for someone else’s harmful actions and finding meaning in the ways we choose to respond afterwardHow Jules has transformed her experiences into advocacy, supporting other survivors and teaching children about bodily autonomy and personal boundariesWhy self-forgiveness can be one of the most difficult—and meaningful—parts of healingWhat to consider if you are wrestling with whether to speak up, including the question of what it may cost you to stay silentJules’ message to those already living through the difficult aftermath of coming forward: celebrate your courage, care for yourself, and remember that the intensity of the moment will not last foreverWhy all of us can support survivors by resisting the urge to judge, question, or shame them for the ways they responded to traumaResources:We the Sunlight podcastJules Bindey / EQ Kid BooksMy Body, My Rules by Jules BindiThe Harmony Hills children’s book seriesAsk Before Touching MeIt’s Okay for Me to Say NoAbout Jules Bindi:Jules Bindi is an entrepreneur, emotional intelligence advocate, author, and storyteller dedicated to helping people heal, develop stronger boundaries, and use their voices.After experiencing sexual assault by Harvey Weinstein, Jules eventually became one of the first women to publicly share her story before the #MeToo movement gained widespread momentum. Her decision to come forward was motivated not only by her own experience, but by a desire to support other survivors and help create greater accountability for people who abuse their power.Today, Jules works with survivors who are navigating the difficult process of reporting abuse and coming forward. She also teaches children about bodily autonomy, boundaries, and emotional intelligence through her children’s publishing company, EQ Kid Books.She is the author of My Body, My Rules and the creator of The Harmony Hills series, which helps children learn that they have ownership over their bodies and the right to set boundaries and say no.About Jill Stoddard:Dr. Jill Stoddard is passionate about providing clients, audiences, and readers with transformative experiences that are based in the latest psychological science but translate to everyday skills for flourishing at work and in life. She is an international and TEDx speaker, award-winning former professor, three-time book author, entrepreneur, licensed psychologist, coach, and professional podcaster. Her former show, Psychologists Off the Clock, was ranked in the top .5% worldwide and was the number one clinical psychology podcast according to Feedspot. Her latest passion project, We the Sunlight, offers a platform for truthtellers to shine a light on crime. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and include: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors; Be Mighty; and Imposter No More. She is a standing-ovation-commanding speaker (ok, that’s only happened twice so far, but it’s her goal for every talk!). She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various tv and print media outlets. She has written for or been quoted in Time, the Washington Post, New York Times, Woman’s World, Today.com, Psychology Today, The San Diego Union Tribune, The Boston Globe and more. Her work centers on the simple but powerful belief that discomfort isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong, it’s a sign you’re right where you are meant to be -- at the intersection of caring and challenge. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog.  About We the Sunlight:What happens when you risk everything to tell the truth?We the Sunlight is a podcast about the brave act of speaking up in a culture that too often rewards silence. From whistleblowers to victims of crime to people intimately connected to those who have caused harm, each episode features raw, personal stories from people who faced high stakes to speak their truth.Guests share why they came forward, what they considered before speaking up, what it cost them, whether they regret their decision, and how radical transparency became part of their healing. The show is grounded in the belief that truth can illuminate, stories can heal, and—as the saying goes—sunlight is the best disinfectant. We just shouldn't have to shine it alone.Related Episodes:19. Keeping Children Safe from Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower 84. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber421. Defy with Sunita Sah436. Consent Laid Bare with Chanel Contos463. Doubting Accusers; Protecting AbusersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the biggest threat to kids’ mental health isn’t smartphones or social media—but the loss of freedom, play, and independence in childhood?In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily welcomes researcher Peter Gray, author of Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety. Drawing on decades of research in developmental psychology, anthropology, education, and play, Peter challenges some of our most common assumptions about what children need to thrive.Peter explains why play isn’t simply recreation—it’s how children naturally learn independence, problem-solving, negotiation, courage, and the social skills they’ll need throughout their lives. He traces how adults have gradually “colonized” childhood, replacing independent play and exploration with increasingly adult-directed activities, supervision, and schoolwork.Emily and Peter also take on one of today’s biggest parenting debates: the role of smartphones and social media in the youth mental health crisis. Peter offers a provocative interpretation of the historical data, including why teen mental health actually improved during the early years of home computers, video games, and online communication—and why he believes increased school pressure deserves far more attention as a contributor to youth anxiety and depression.You’ll hear why children need opportunities to solve problems without adults swooping in, how risky play helps kids develop courage, why trust can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and what parents and schools can do to give children more ownership over their lives.Join Emily and Peter for a thought-provoking conversation about what we lose when we try too hard to protect and prepare our kids—and why restoring childhood may require adults to step back so kids can step forward.Listen and Learn:Why play is a biological drive across young mammals—and how it helps children practice the skills they need to become increasingly independentHow self-directed play teaches children to negotiate, compromise, solve problems, consider other people’s needs, and navigate conflict without adults stepping inWhy children’s freedom to play and explore independently has declined dramatically over the past several decades—and what Peter means by the disappearance of a distinct “culture of childhood”How children’s peer cultures once gave kids opportunities to create their own games, norms, language, and social worlds largely outside adult oversightThe surprising mental health trends Peter identifies from 1950 onward, including rising distress during decades when children’s independence was decliningWhy Peter believes the arrival of home computers in the 1990s may actually have improved adolescent well-being by giving teens new opportunities for mastery, independence, play, and connection with peersHow early computers created an unusual reversal in expertise, with teenagers often knowing more than their parents—and why that experience of competence may have matteredWhy video games and other forms of pretend or risky play can give children opportunities to experience fear, vulnerability, challenge, and mastery in relatively safe environmentsPeter’s critique of the popular claim that smartphones and social media are the primary cause of today’s youth mental health crisis, and why he argues the broader research literature does not support such a simple causal storyWhy Peter sees increasing academic pressure and changes in American schooling as an overlooked contributor to rising anxiety, depression, and burnout among young peopleHow schools could become more supportive of mental health by improving school climate, increasing student autonomy, restoring teacher flexibility, protecting recess, and reducing unnecessary academic pressureOne simple question parents can ask children to begin expanding their independence: What would you like to be doing on your own that you aren’t doing now?Why shifting from “What am I afraid to let my child do?” toward “What could I encourage my child to do independently?” can help both children and parents build confidenceWhat Peter calls “TAS parenting”—combining trustful and autonomy-supportive parenting by not only trusting children’s developing capabilities but actively creating opportunities for them to exercise independenceResources:Peter Gray’s book Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of AnxietyPeter’s book Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for LifePeter’s website: petergray.orgPeter’s Substack: Play Makes Us HumanAbout Peter Gray:Peter Gray is a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College. He has conducted and published research in neuroendocrinology, developmental psychology, anthropology, and education. He did his undergraduate study at Columbia University and earned a Ph.D. in biological sciences at Rockefeller University. His current research and writing focus primarily on children’s natural ways of learning and the life-long value of play. He has helped found and continues to support nonprofit organizations aimed at bringing more play and independent activity to children’s lives. He is the author of an internationally acclaimed college introductory psychology textbook (Psychology, now in its8th edition), which views all of psychology from an evolutionary perspective, and of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life. His newest book, Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety, is out now.Related Episodes:470. Parenting Science in the Media: Lost in Translation433. Rethinking Screens and Video Games with Ash Brandin414. The Disengaged Teen with Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson382. The Anxious Generation? The Conversation We Should Be Having About Kids, Technology, and Mental Health369. Good News About Adolescence with Ellen Galinsky 319. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Emily EdlynnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if some of the things you believe most strongly aren’t actually facts—but tools you’re using to navigate a complicated world?In this bittersweet final interview for Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard welcomes back Nir Eyal, author of Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results. Nir was Jill’s very first guest when she joined the podcast, making this conversation a fitting bookend to her time on POTC. Together, they explore how our beliefs shape motivation, perception, pain, relationships, and our ability to create lasting change.Nir explains why beliefs are different from facts or faith, and why treating beliefs as tools rather than truths can give us more flexibility. He shares his personal story of struggling with his weight, how changing his beliefs helped him persist, and what his experience with Pain Reprocessing Therapy taught him about chronic pain.You’ll hear why “seeing is believing” is only half the story, how our expectations can change our experience of pain and pleasure, why venting may reinforce the very beliefs that keep us stuck, and how expanding your portfolio of perspectives can create more freedom in relationships and everyday life.Join Jill and Nir for a fascinating conversation about the power of belief—and a reminder that feeling bad isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes, pain comes with purpose.Listen and Learn:Why beliefs are neither facts nor faith, but flexible “working models” that help us navigate reality when the truth isn’t fully knowableHow beliefs influence motivation, behavior, and persistence—and why believing you can succeed may be just as important as knowing what to doNir’s personal weight-loss journey and how searching for the “one true” diet ultimately got in the way of persistenceWhy beliefs can be powerful tools even when we can’t prove that they are objectively true, and how choosing beliefs that serve us can change the way we respond to everyday challengesHow attention shapes perception, why our brains rely on predictions and prior beliefs, and what the classic checkerboard illusion teaches us about seeing realityThe relationship between beliefs, expectations, pain, and suffering—including what Nir learned from Pain Reprocessing Therapy and the surprising power of the brain to change the experience of chronic painWhy feeling bad isn’t necessarily bad, and how redefining discomfort as something that can accompany purpose may help us stop avoiding the experiences that matterHow placebo and nocebo effects demonstrate the powerful role of expectations, and why beliefs can influence our experience through changes in behavior and biologyWhy venting can reinforce negative beliefs about other people, and how “getting it off your chest” may provide short-term relief while making us angrier in the long runHow Inquiry-Based Stress Reduction can help us loosen rigid beliefs by developing a broader “portfolio” of possible perspectives rather than forcing ourselves to replace one belief with anotherNir’s personal transformation in his relationship with his mother, and how questioning assumptions about other people can create more flexibility without requiring them to changeHow expanding our beliefs can create “wiggle room” to respond more flexibly, reconnect with our values, and take responsibility for our own contribution to difficult situationsResources:Nir’s book Beyond Belief: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593852033 Free belief change guide is here: www.nirandfar.com/beyond-belief-liveBonus content and the 30-Day Belief Transformation Journal is here: nirandfar.com/beyond-beliefWebsite: http://nirandfar.comLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nireyal/Instagram - http://instagram.com/nireyalPrevious books:Hooked: geni.us/hookedIndistractable: geni.us/IndistractableAbout Nir Eyal:Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and human potential. He previously taught at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford.He is the author of the international bestsellers Hooked and Indistractable, which have sold more than a million copies in more than 30 languages. His latest book, Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results, explores the science of beliefs and how they influence our perceptions, behaviors, and ability to create lasting change. The book recently reached the New York Times bestseller list.Nir is also an active angel investor whose portfolio includes multi-billion-dollar companies such as Canva and Kahoot!. He blogs at NirAndFar.com and has published writing in The New York Times and Harvard Business Review. He is also a regular contributor to Psychology Today.Related Episodes:127. Indistractable with Nir Eyal310. The Expectation Effect with David Robson312. Throwback Episode! The Invisible Gorilla with Christopher Chabris422. Mindwise with Nicholas Epley443. Shift with Ethan Kross458. The Pain/Brain Connection with Alan GordonSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What makes an explanation feel satisfying, and does that feeling have anything to do with whether it's actually true?Cognitive scientist Tania Lombrozo, author of Why We Ask Why: The Science of Explanation and the Human Drive to Understand, joins Michael to talk about the human drive to explain: where it comes from and what it buys us. She also makes the case that explanations aren't objects sitting out in the world waiting to be found, but mental acts we construct.Tania walks through why philosophers and psychologists have circled the same phenomenon from different angles, and why a strong drive to explain isn't an obvious thing to build into an intelligent system in the first place. Curiosity, she explains, works as a filter on the endless supply of questions we could be asking. She also shares what her own lab has found about what actually predicts it, and why a satisfying explanation tends to open up more questions rather than shut inquiry down.Along the way: Alison Gopnik's provocatively titled paper on the aha moment, and the explore/exploit trade-off behind the randomized summer reading program Tania uses to keep herself exploring. They also get into the self-explanation effect, and why explaining to another person usually beats explaining to yourself. The conversation closes on what to do when a three-year-old asks why, including how to bring a chatbot into that moment without skipping the part where good inquiry gets modeled.Listen and Learn:Why a strong drive to explain isn't an obvious thing to build into an intelligent system, and what seeking explanations actually does for creatures like usWhy explanations are mental acts rather than facts sitting out in the world, and how a punchline makes that idea concreteHow curiosity filters the endless supply of questions we could ask, and why we gravitate toward things just one step beyond what we already understandWhat happens to your curiosity right after a satisfying explanation, and why good answers tend to open up more questions instead of closing them offThe explore/exploit trade-off, and practical ways to build a little more randomness into what you read and what you tryWhy explaining something to another person usually beats explaining it to yourself, and the three things that make the differenceHow to respond when a child asks why, and how to use AI tools with kids without cutting out the modeling of good inquiryResources:Tania’s book: Why We Ask Why https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063395008   Twitter / X: https://x.com/tanialombrozo?lang=en  Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/tanialombrozo.bsky.social  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tania-lombrozo  Tania's Website: www.tanialombrozo.com http://www.tanialombrozo.com/ Michael’s Confidence Course http://herold.coach/courseAbout Tania LombrozoTania Lombrozo is Arthur W. Marks '19 Professor of Psychology at Princeton University. She holds degrees in cognitive science and philosophy from Stanford University and in psychology from Harvard University. Her award-winning research has explored the human drive for explanation in both children and adults. She lives in Princeton, New Jersey, with her husband and two daughters. Her book, Why We Ask Why: The Science of Explanation and the Human Drive to Understand, will be released in October 2026.Related Episodes:428. How to Fall in Love with Questions with Elizabeth Weingarten385. Oliver Burkeman on Embracing Your Limitations457. Tiny Experiments with Anne-Laure Le Cunff429. May Contain Lies with Alex EdmansSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Navigating a loved one's mental health struggles can feel like walking a tightrope between wanting to save them and trying to keep your own head above water.In this episode, Dr. David Dozois from the University of Western Ontario highlights his book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed, talking through the toll depression can take on relationships and why the supporting partner's experience so often goes unnoticed.He shares with us why our instinct to "fix" a partner's pain can often backfire, and offers up actionable strategies for giving real support, encouraging treatment, and how to shift from frustration to true connection, without taking on the role of an unpaid therapist.Plus, David touches on essential self-care, navigating tricky boundary dynamics, and safely approaching heavy, sensitive topics couples tend to avoid.Listen and Learn: How clinical depression differs from ordinary sadness, how it impacts both partners in a relationship, and actionable, evidence-based strategies to support a depressed partner without burning out or sacrificing their own well-being The complexities of supporting a depressed partner and reveal why the human impulse to "fix" things often backfires, sharing research-backed strategies on how to move from wrestling with your partner to truly connecting with them first The art of true active listening, explaining why genuine empathy means tuning into your partner’s heart rather than just rehearsing your next response Framing depression as a shared "we" problem rather than an individual label to encourage a struggling partner to seek help without putting them on the defensive How non-depressed partners can support their loved one without burning out or slipping into the role of an unpaid therapist How excessive reassurance seeking can strain a relationship, and why setting compassionate boundaries and practicing response prevention are essential for long-term trustNavigating the delicate balance between self-care and supporting a loved one through depression Resources: David’s Website: https://dozoislab.comDavid’s book: What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed: Supporting Your Loved One While Caring for Yourselfhttps://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/what-to-do-when-your-partner-is-depressedPre-order Yael’s new book, Why Don’t You Understand Me?: The Surprising Science Behind Connecting in a World of Missed Signals. Then fill out THIS form to get pre-order bonuses!Link to Yael’s newsletter and (for paid subscribers), a chance to win a copy of David’s book!About David DozoisDavid Dozois is a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Western Ontario, where he directs the clinical psychology graduate program and studies cognitive vulnerability to depression, the "why" behind who gets stuck in depressive thinking and why it's so hard to climb out. He's published more than 200 scientific articles and books and has served as president of the Canadian Psychological Association twice.His new book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed: Supporting Your Loved One While Caring for Yourself, tackles something couples therapists see constantly and talk about far too little: depression is never really a solo experience. It moves into the relationship and unpacks its bags. The partner who isn't depressed often becomes the default project manager of the household, the mood, and the marriage, all while getting none of the concern, support, or permission to fall apart themselves. David's work is a rare combination of rigorous science and genuinely useful, human advice for the partner nobody's checking in on.Related Episodes:135. Power of Empathy and Motivational Interviewing with Stephen Rollnick255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance397. The Mindful Path to Intimacy with James Cordova408. Connecting Like a Hostage Negotiator with Gary Noesner413. Validate with Caroline Fleck449. How to Feel Loved with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis472. One Relationship, Two Brains with Cindy ArielSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.