Thriving Kids

Self-care for parents isn’t selfish. It’s fuel.In this episode of the Thriving Kids podcast, Dave Anderson, PhD, talks with Joanna Kim, PhD, about what real self-care looks like for busy parents — especially those who feel guilty even thinking about taking a break.We cover: • Why “self-care” can feel privileged or unrealistic • How to “fill your cup” in 1–5 minutes (no spa day required) • The science of parent engagement and what gets in the way • How sleep, boundaries, and saying no protect your energy • Why modeling rest and balance matters for your kidsFrom tea with a daily quote to pocket Sudoku to sleeping in without guilt — this episode is about small, doable changes that help you show up as the parent you want to be.Follow Joanna Kim’s Engaging Families Lab:Instagram: @engagingfamilieslabWebsite: engagingfamilieslab.orgFurther ReadingThe Impact of Parental Burnout, American Psychological Association (APA) Mental Health Resources for Parents, Mental Health America (MHA) Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting, Child Mind Institute 

In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode, Dave Anderson, PhD, answers parent questions about child stress, anxiety, avoidance, burnout, and emotional coping.Building on a recent conversation with Dylan Gee, PhD, professor of psychology at Yale University, this episode focuses on how kids learn to respond to stress — and how parent behavior can either ease anxiety or reinforce it over time.Dr. Dave addresses common situations parents face, including school anxiety, physical symptoms of stress, overscheduling, achievement pressure, and burnout. He explains why avoidance often makes anxiety worse and how parents can support kids without pushing too hard or accommodating in ways that keep stress stuck.In this episode, you’ll learn:How kids model parental stress — and how to change your own venting habitsWhy avoidance increases anxiety over timeWhy anxiety often shows up as stomachaches or headachesHow to help kids face stress without overwhelming themWhen reassurance backfires — and what to do insteadHow accommodation can unintentionally reinforce anxietyHow to support overscheduled teens under college pressureWhat teen burnout looks like after prolonged stressSimple tools to reset a child’s nervous system before tests, games, or performancesThis episode draws on evidence-based approaches from cognitive behavioral therapy, child development research, and clinical practice. It’s designed for parents of elementary-, middle-, and high-school-aged kids navigating anxiety, perfectionism, stress, and emotional overload.Thriving Kids is a parenting podcast from the Child Mind Institute, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting children with mental health, behavior, and learning challenges.Resources mentioned:How do I help my child cope with stress? https://childmind.org/positiveparenting/coping-with-stressAnxiety resources for teens and parents https://childmind.org/topics/anxietyThe art and science of mindfulness https://childmind.org/article/the-art-and-science-of-mindfulnessFor more expert guidance and free family resources, visit:https://childmind.org/resources

Is your child struggling with stress — or is it something more?In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Dylan Gee, a professor of psychology at Yale University, to explore the vital difference between managing stress and simply trying to avoid it. While it’s natural to want to "pave the road" and remove obstacles for our children, learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important emotional skills a child can build.We discuss the "avoidance trap," where stepping in to solve every problem can actually make a child's stress worse over time. Dr. Gee explains how kids can learn to recover from hard moments and why your own emotional state as a caregiver is the most powerful tool for helping a stressed child feel safe and supported.In this episode, we discuss:The Avoidance Trap: Why helping kids avoid stress can undermine their ability to build long-term resilience.The Power of Parental Regulation: How staying calm and regulated helps your child cope when things feel overwhelming.Validation and Labeling: Why identifying big emotions like "frustrated" or "scared" is the first step toward managing them.Challenging Extreme Thinking: How to guide kids away from "all-or-nothing" thoughts and toward more balanced perspectives.Filling the Coping Toolbox: Practical strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and creative expression to help kids bounce back.

In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids Podcast, Dave Anderson answers listener questions following last week’s conversation with Jennifer Wallace on achievement culture and helping kids feel like they matter.Parents asked practical, hard questions about failure, pressure, motivation, and emotional regulation. This episode focuses on finding balance—between support and independence, structure and flexibility, validation and limits.Questions covered:Natural consequences vs. stepping inDid you rob your child of a lesson by rescuing a forgotten school project?How to decide based on context and stakes.Kids who cheat because they hate losingWhat’s developmentally normal at younger ages.When rule-following matters for peer relationships.How to address cheating without turning games into power struggles.Paying kids for good gradesDoes it increase pressure?The role of external reinforcement.How to use rewards thoughtfully and fade them over time.When your child says, “I suck at this”How to respond to negative self-talk.Helping kids move from global self-blame to problem-solving.The brutal car ride home after a lossWhy “I loved watching you play” can backfire.How to ask what support your teen actually wants.Coaching emotional regulation without forcing a conversation.When schools make failure feel high-stakesWhat to say when mistakes lead to remedial groups or lost electives.Supporting your child when systems increase pressure.How parents can act as “counterprogramming” to achievement culture.Key takeawaysThere is rarely one “right” parenting move.Kids need both scaffolding and space to struggle.Pressure affects children differently.Validation doesn’t mean fixing feelings.Effort matters more than perfection.This episode is especially helpful if you’re parenting a child who is sensitive to failure, perfectionistic, or feeling overwhelmed by expectations at school or in sports.

In this episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson speaks with Jennifer Wallace, award-winning journalist and author, about her books 'Never Enough' and 'Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.' They discuss the trajectory of her work, the culture of toxic achievement, and how fostering a sense of mattering can serve as an antidote. Wallace shares research findings on mattering, practical strategies for parents, workplaces, and third spaces, and emphasizes the importance of making others feel valued in everyday interactions. They also explore the impact of parental self-care on creating a healthy environment for children.Further Reading:How to Help Kids Learn to FailRaising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the FutureHow to Model Healthy Coping Skills

Parenting teens can feel confusing, hurtful, and exhausting — especially when connection starts to slip.In this Thriving Kids Q&A episode from the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about staying connected to teenagers during adolescence.He covers:Why teens can be warm and talkative with other adults but distant at homeHow memes, TikToks, and inside jokes still count as real connectionHow to prepare teens for college and independence without constant conflictWhat to do when defiance and power struggles escalateHow to respond when teens self-diagnose ADHD or other mental health conditions onlineThis episode focuses on relationship-first parenting, clear boundaries, and helping teens feel understood — so they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters.Further reading Help! My Teen Stopped Talking to MeTips for Communicating With Your TeenParenting a Defiant Teen: Expert Tips

Parenting a teen can feel like walking on eggshells. Conversations turn into conflict. Teens pull away. Parents are left wondering how to stay connected without giving up boundaries.In this episode of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by pediatric psychologist Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart to talk about what actually helps build a stronger, healthier relationship with your teen — even during tough moments.They discuss: • Why teens push back and pull away during adolescence • What real connection with teens looks like (and what it doesn’t) • How to set limits without damaging trust • Common parenting mistakes that increase power struggles • How to stay grounded when emotions run high • Practical ways to rebuild connection after conflictThis conversation focuses on realistic, evidence-based strategies parents can use to improve communication, reduce tension, and strengthen trust — without trying to control or fix their teen.Hosted by clinicians from the Child Mind Institute, the Thriving Kids Podcast offers expert guidance for parents raising emotionally healthy, resilient kids and teens.For more parenting tools and mental health resources, visit childmind.org.⸻Related Child Mind Institute ArticlesTips for Communicating With Your Teenhttps://childmind.org/article/tips-communicating-with-teenHelp! My Teen Stopped Talking to Mehttps://childmind.org/article/help-my-teen-stopped-talking-to-me/How to Help Kids Have Healthy Romantic Relationshipshttps://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-kids-have-good-romantic-relationships/How to Help Your Teen Through a Breakuphttps://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-your-teen-through-a-breakup/10 Tips for Parenting Your Pre-Teenhttps://childmind.org/article/10-tips-for-parenting-your-pre-teen/Tweens, Teens, and Young Adults Resourceshttps://childmind.org/topics/teens-young-adults/

How do you talk to kids about the hard stuff — without making their worries worse?In this Thriving Kids Podcast Q&A episode, Dr. Dave Anderson answers real questions from parents about how to talk with kids and teens about difficult, emotionally loaded topics in calm, developmentally appropriate ways.Drawing on clinical experience from his work at the Child Mind Institute, Dr. Anderson walks through what helps — and what often backfires — when kids ask about scary news, big life fears, or sensitive issues at home.Topics covered in this episode include:Talking to kids about anxiety, disasters, and frightening newsHelping children cope with worries about climate changeSupporting kids dealing with unkind friends or social rejectionHow to respond when kids fear losing a parentDiscussing financial stress without passing on adult worryHow to talk about suicide safely and openlyExplaining substance use and addiction in age-appropriate waysThroughout the episode, Dr. Anderson emphasizes validation, honesty, emotional regulation, and keeping conversations open — even when a parent feels they didn’t handle a moment perfectly the first time.Related Articles & ResourcesHelping Children Cope With Frightening NewsKids and Climate AnxietyBig Talks: How to Have Important Conversations With KidsParents Guide to Problem BehaviorTips for Communicating With KidsParents Guide to Substance Use and Mental HealthAnxiety Resources for Kids and TeensSupporting vs. Enabling a Child With Challenges

Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with science journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer to talk about what kids actually need to cope, connect, and grow up healthy today.They cover:Why letting kids have big feelings builds resilienceHow listening (not lecturing) strengthens connectionWhat parents get wrong about screens and techWhy avoiding hard topics doesn’t protect kidsHow everyday conversations shape empathy and judgmentThis episode is about practical, research-backed parenting — not perfection.How Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation? - Child Mind InstituteHelping Kids Handle Big Emotions at Different Ages - Child Mind InstituteHow to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes - Melinda Wenner Moyer Hello, Cruel World - Melinda Wenner Moyer

Thriving Kids Podcast Q&A: Handling Big Feelings, Screen Time Battles, and MoreJoin Dr. Dave Anderson in this special Q&A edition of the Thriving Kids Podcast, where he addresses a range of parenting questions. From managing a 6-year-old's meltdowns over small issues to navigating screen time battles and teaching empathy between siblings, this episode covers it all. Dr. Anderson provides insightful advice on emotion regulation, developing coping skills, and setting effective boundaries. Learn how to talk to kids about inequality, media literacy, and tackle the common issues of homework difficulties and friendship dramas. Tune in for practical strategies to support your children's emotional and behavioral development.

Dr. Dave Anderson and special guest Dr. Marc Brackett, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, discuss the importance of understanding and managing emotions, especially in today's world. Dr. Brackett shares insights from his books, 'Permission to Feel' and 'Dealing with Feeling', and highlights practical strategies for emotional regulation. Whether you're a parent, educator, or caregiver, this conversation offers valuable guidance on raising emotionally healthy children and the vital role of emotion regulation in achieving well-being and success.Further Reading from the Child Mind InstituteHow Can We Help Kids With Self-Regulation?How to Help Children Calm DownAnd more from Dr. Marc BrackettDealing with Feeling

In this Q&A follow-up to last week’s Thanksgiving special, Dr. Dave Anderson answers listener questions about emotional self-regulation, holiday expectations, and the stress that comes with getting everyone together under one roof.You’ll hear quick, practical guidance on:Managing holiday expectations so you don’t end up disappointedHow much to plan during winter breakLoosening screen limits without losing controlWhat to do about kids who refuse holiday mealsTeens who disappear the moment break startsHandling gift-giving reactions and gratitudeProtecting your own energy and avoiding resentmentResetting when the day goes off the railsIf you’re celebrating Thanksgiving, we hope your day feels manageable. If you’re outside the U.S., these questions apply to any big family gathering — December holidays, birthdays, and every festival that brings people together.

The holidays can feel like a marathon for parents — full of expectations, logistics, and emotions. In this episode, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with clinical psychologist (and new parent) Dr. Kimberly Alexander about what she calls “running the gauntlet” of the holiday season.They unpack how to manage your own expectations, keep kids regulated, and handle tricky family moments — without losing your sense of humor or sanity.You’ll learn:Why “know thy child” might be the best holiday mantraHow to balance structure and flexibility when school’s outWhat to do when your child’s behavior doesn’t match your “perfect family” visionHow to set boundaries with relatives who take it personallyTips for teaching gratitude and handling gift-giving meltdownsDr. Alexander also shares what she calls “the Kim package” — her practical approach to balancing family needs, setting limits with grace, and remembering that every year looks different.Chapters (adjust as needed):00:00 – Welcome to Thriving Kids01:00 – Why the holidays can feel so intense for parents05:00 – The “perfect family” myth and social media pressure07:00 – “Know thy child”: tailoring expectations10:00 – Setting structure and boundaries that work13:00 – Handling relatives who push back17:00 – Teen dynamics and validation20:00 – Teaching gratitude (and managing disappointment)29:00 – Giving yourself graceRelated resources:childmind.org/article/helping-kids-cope-with-holiday-stress/childmind.org/article/managing-family-stress-during-the-holidays/childmind.org/article/helping-kids-cope-with-changes-in-routine/

Parents sent in smart, honest questions about how to keep conversations about sex, consent, and safety going at home. In this Q&A episode of Thriving Kids, Dr. Dave Anderson from the Child Mind Institute answers questions about when to start, what’s age-appropriate, and how to talk about everything from consent to porn — without losing your kid’s trust.You’ll learn how to:• Start early with body boundaries and accurate language• Talk about consent in everyday life• Handle porn exposure and online curiosity• Balance privacy, safety, and your family’s values• Keep the door open even when teens roll their eyesKey topics• What age to start talking about sex and consent• How to explain the biology of reproduction without euphemisms• Setting boundaries and modeling consent in daily life• Talking about porn and online exposure without shame• Balancing privacy and safety with teens in relationships• How to share family values without sounding preachy• What to do if your teen is already sexually active• Keeping awkward conversations open and honestResources mentionedBooks• What Makes a Baby, Sex Is a Funny Word, You Know, Sex – Cory Silverberg• Being You and Yes! No! – Megan MadisonOrganizations & platforms• Peer Health Exchange• Selfsea – digital platform by Peer Health Exchange with stories and tools created with and for young people• Planned Parenthood – resources and education for sexual and reproductive healthFurther reading• How to Talk to Kids About Sex and Boundaries – Child Mind Institute• How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn – TIME, by Dr. Dave Anderson• Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships – health.gov• The Best Sex Education Books for Kids of All Ages (And Their Parents!) – Parents / AAP

Talking to kids about sex, consent, and safety can feel intimidating — or like something you’d rather put off. But kids are already getting information from somewhere, and it’s not always accurate or safe. In this episode of Thriving Kids, clinical psychologist and host Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Angela Glymph, CEO of Peer Health Exchange, about how to have honest, age-appropriate conversations that protect kids, affirm who they are, and strengthen your relationship with them.They break down what “comprehensive sex education” really means, how to start early with body autonomy and consent, and how to keep the conversation going through elementary school, middle school, and the teen years — without needing to be a “perfect” expert.GuestDr. Angela Glymph is the CEO of Peer Health Exchange, a national youth nonprofit dedicated to helping young people stay safe, healthy, and affirmed — no matter who they are or where they live. Her work centers adolescent health equity, social-emotional learning, and youth-led, inclusive health education. She’s also a parent, navigating these conversations at home herself.In this episode, we discuss:What comprehensive sex education actually includes (it’s more than just “the talk”)Why medically accurate, truthful information keeps kids saferHow kids really learn about sex, consent, and relationships (school, peers, online, social media)The benefits of giving kids good information vs. leaving them to “figure it out”How to teach body autonomy and consent starting in early childhoodWhy using correct terms (like vulva, penis, sperm, egg) mattersHow to build on the conversation in elementary school, middle school, and beyondWhen and how to talk about contraception, STIs, and safetyWhy abstinence can be part of the conversation — but not the whole thingHow to respond if your teen is already sexually activeWhat to do if you feel too awkward or underqualified to have these talksThe myth that teens don’t want to talk to parents about sex (and why it’s wrong)Age-by-age: Laying the groundworkAges 3–5 (early childhood)Simple yes/no and body boundariesNaming body parts accurately (including genitals)Basic explanation of where babies come from using truthful, simple language (e.g., sperm and egg)Ages 6–8 (early elementary)Building on earlier explanations with more biologyTalking about different family structures and ways babies come into familiesNormalizing questions and curiosityAges 9–11 (upper elementary)Puberty: what’s happening in their changing bodiesFactual explanation of sexual intercourse and pregnancy in developmentally appropriate termsIntroducing contraception and safety basicsReinforcing body autonomy and boundariesAges 12+ (middle & high school)Relationships, identity, and decision-makingMore detailed conversations about contraception, STIs, and safer sexConsent in the context of romantic and sexual experiencesHow to think about risks, pressure, and personal valuesKey takeaways for parentsIf kids don’t get information from you or other trusted adults, they will seek it elsewhere — online, from peers, or pornography.Comprehensive sex education is lifesaving: it helps prevent unintended pregnancy, STIs, and sexual violence, and it builds communication skills kids use far beyond this topic.Using medically accurate terms normalizes the conversation and gives kids language to advocate for themselves and report if something is wrong.Abstinence is a valid choice and part of comprehensive education — but it shouldn’t be the entire message.You don’t have to do this alone: your pediatrician, your child’s school, faith community, and trusted adults (like an aunt/uncle or family friend) can all help.Teens may act like they don’t want to talk to you, but many do want open, nonjudgmental conversations — they’re also trying to figure out how to approach you.Resources mentioned in the episodeBooks for kids & familiesCory Silverberg – books about bodies, reproduction, and growing up (including What Makes a Baby and later titles for older kids and teens)Megan Madison – Being You and Yes! No! (early childhood books covering gender, consent, and body autonomy)Organizations & platformsPeer Health Exchange – comprehensive, inclusive, peer-led health educationSelfsea (selfsea.org) – Peer Health Exchange’s digital platform created with and for young people, including stories and resources on sex, consent, and talking to parentsPlanned Parenthood – education and resources for teens and parents on sexual and reproductive healthFurther readingTalk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships – health.govhttps://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/sexual-health/talk-your-kids-about-sex-and-healthy-relationshipsThe Best Sex Education Books for Kids of All Ages (And Their Parents!) – Healthy Children / AAPhttps://www.parents.com/kids/health/best-sex-education-books-for-kids-by-age/How to Talk to Kids About Sex and Boundaries – Child Mind Institutehttps://childmind.org/article/how-talk-kids-sex-consent-boundaries/How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn – TIMEhttps://time.com/4277188/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-porn/About Thriving KidsThriving Kids is a podcast from the Child Mind Institute that helps you raise emotionally healthy children with practical, expert-backed advice.

In this Q&A edition of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson takes on parents’ top questions about raising teenagers. Building on last week’s conversation with Dr. Lisa Damour, he shares research-backed guidance for navigating everything from therapy resistance and social media boundaries to privacy battles, motivation slumps, and shifting moods — all while keeping connection and communication strong at home.Have a question for Dr. Dave? Email podcast@childmind.orgWhat you’ll learn• How to approach therapy when your teen refuses to go• The best way to address vaping or substance use without pushing your teen away• What to do when school motivation swings from “I love it” to “I don’t care”• How to set limits around social media that actually stick• Ways to balance trust, privacy, and safety at home• How to support anxious teens without reinforcing avoidance• Signs that moodiness is typical vs. when it’s time to seek help• Why staying connected — even through protest — protects teen mental healthFind related resources at childmind.org.

Adolescence can feel intense, confusing, and sometimes overwhelming for families. In this episode, Dr. Dave Anderson talks with Dr. Lisa Damour, psychologist and best-selling author, to share compassionate, practical guidance on what most powerfully supports teen mental health. Drawing on decades of experience, Dr. Damour explains why strong, caring relationships with adults are the single biggest factor in teen well-being, and why social media is only one small part of a much bigger picture.Key topics include:• The number one protector of teen mental health: consistent, caring relationships with adults• How to put social media in perspective and keep connection at the center• What healthy coping looks like for teens and four red flags to watch for (substances, avoidance, taking distress out on others, taking distress out on themselves)• How to connect with teens through respect, transparency, and curiosity• What to do when your teen’s behavior pushes your buttons• The major developmental tasks of adolescence and how parents can support them• Practical ways to respond when emotions or situations get heated• How to keep showing up and maintain the bond that matters mostResources mentioned in this episode:Child Mind Institute resources on adolescent mental healthMore from Dr. Lisa Damour, including her books, podcast, and newsletterRosalie, Dr. Damour’s AI librarian for guidance on raising teens

In this Q&A edition of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson takes on parents’ top questions about kids and sleep. From breaking the habit of co-sleeping to tackling bedtime fears, setting routines that stick, and knowing when to drop naps, he offers practical strategies to make nights calmer for the whole family.Have a question for Dr. Dave? Email podcast@childmind.orgWhat you’ll learn:• Step-by-step ways to help kids learn to fall asleep independently• How to create a bedroom environment that promotes restful sleep• When a soothing bedtime routine turns into stalling—and how to handle it• Signs that nighttime fears are typical vs. when they signal anxiety• Why removing screens at night matters (and how to offer alternatives)• Clues your child may be ready to shorten or give up daytime naps• Tips for managing siblings with different sleep needs and schedules• How to respond when kids keep getting out of bed after lights out• The truth about weekend late nights and sleep-ins

Building healthy sleep habits is one of the most important and sometimes most challenging parts of parenting. In this episode, Dr. Dave Anderson sits down with Dr. Shelby Harris, a clinical psychologist and board-certified sleep specialist, to share compassionate, practical guidance for families looking to improve their child’s sleep. Drawing on years of experience helping kids and parents, Dr. Harris explains why sleep matters for mental health, learning, and behavior, and how small changes can make a big difference.Key topics include:• Why sleep is essential for children’s growth, mood, and focus• How to create a sleep-friendly environment (and why “quiet, dark, cool, and comfortable” works)• The most common sleep challenges at every age and what really helps• How screens, routines, and even grandparents can impact your child’s sleep• What to do when your child wakes up too early, can’t fall asleep, or keeps leaving their room• When to worry about issues like snoring, night terrors, or persistent sleepwalking• Tips for modeling healthy sleep habits as a family• How to know when it’s time to seek help from a specialistResources mentioned in this episode:The Child Mind Institute’s Sleep ResourcesMore from Dr. Shelby HarrisPositive Parenting: Building Healthy Routines

How do you support your child through grief when you’re grieving too?In this Q&A edition of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson answers your top questions about helping kids navigate death, loss, and big emotions. He covers how to support neurodivergent kids when grief shows up as anger or outbursts, whether it’s okay to talk about death directly, how to explain loss to young children, what to do when waves of sadness hit out of nowhere, how much to show your own emotions, when grief becomes something more serious, and even the surprising role imaginary friends can play in healing.Have a question for Dr. Dave? Email podcast@childmind.orgWhat you’ll learn• “All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not” — validating emotion while holding boundaries• How grief can look different in kids with ADHD or ODD — and how to respond• The clearest language to use when telling a child someone has died• What not to say when trying to soften the news• How to talk to a 5-year-old about loss in three simple steps• Why grief comes in unpredictable waves — and how to help kids ride them• How to model healthy coping when your child sees you cry• Signs that suggest it may be time to seek additional support• How pretend play and imaginary friends can actually aid the healing process