The ENM DNM

Episode 6: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly From cute friend dates to chaotic sex parties, we’re ending Season 1 with our wildest, weirdest, and most heartfelt dating stories. In this final episode of the season, we swap stories from the frontlines of dating while ethically non-monogamous — the good, the bad, and the downright fugly. We reflect on what counts as a date in ENM, how online dating compares to meeting people in community, and the beautiful chaos of navigating sex parties, group dynamics, and slow-burn connections. There’s vulnerability, laughter, and a lot of honest talk about what it’s really like to date, connect, and grow while living non-monogamously. What We Talk About:Dating while polyamorous and ethically non-monogamousWhy some of the best dates are platonicOnline dating red flags and bios that make us swipe awayFirst-time sex party nerves (and snacks)The pressure (or not) at ENM social eventsHow community-based connections feel safer and more authenticOne piece of advice we’d give to anyone starting out in ENMMentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help fund free therapy and support groupsThe E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (access via Ko-Fi)Love what you hear?Follow, review, and support the pod over on Ko-fi — every little bit helps us fund free and subsidised therapy and support groups for ENM folks.Join our Discord to connect with other non-monogamous, queer, and curious humans from all walks of life.And stay tuned — we’ll be back with Season 2 soon. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, dating, friendship, and community.

Episode 5: Communication and Boundaries What does “good communication” really mean in ethical non-monogamy — and how do you know if you’re setting a boundary or just trying to control someone? Intro Paragraph:In this episode of The ENM DNM, we unpack the layered, often messy world of communication and boundaries in ethical non-monogamy. We explore how mismatched expectations, emotional triggers, people-pleasing, and different processing styles impact our relationships. You’ll hear real-life stories of things gone right (and wrong), how we define “good communication,” and what happens when boundaries are unclear or unspoken. Whether you’re new to ENM or years into your journey, this conversation is packed with honesty, reflection, and insight into what it takes to build trust and connection in non-monogamous relationships.What We Talk About:How we define “good communication” in ENM relationshipsWhy listening is the most underrated communication skillEmotional regulation and learning your own processing styleWhat a boundary actually is (and what it’s not)When communication isn’t enough and a relationship endsCommon challenges like unmet expectations and miscommunication between partners and metamoursThe difference between boundaries, agreements, and rulesLearning from past relationships and becoming “version 2.0”Mentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private communityPolysecure (book)The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)TED Talk: “John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence | TEDMiriam Margolyes Meets The Sistergirls Of The Tiwi Islands | Miriam Margolyes: Almost AustralianLove what you hear?Follow The ENM DNM on your favourite podcast app and leave us a review — it really helps new listeners find us.Support the pod and our work in the community at ko-fi.com/enmdnmJoin our private Discord space to connect, share, and grow alongside others in the ENM community.Next episode, we’re talking about dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly.Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.

Episode 4: Families, Friends, and the (Mono) WorldWorld What happens when you’re living ethically non-monogamous — but your friends, family, or workplace aren’t? In this episode, we unpack the messy, beautiful, and often awkward moments of coming out in a monogamous world. We talk about the choices we make around who to tell, how we tell them, and why some of us don’t tell anyone at all. From religious upbringings and conservative families to tricky friendship dynamics and professional boundaries, this episode dives into the real-life impact of being ENM in spaces that might not understand it. Whether you’re fully out, quietly navigating disclosure, or somewhere in between, this conversation holds space for it all — with vulnerability, reflection, and a little bit of sass. What We Talk About:Coming out as ethically non-monogamous to friends, family, and colleaguesNavigating disclosure in conservative or religious familiesBalancing identity, safety, and authenticity in the workplaceFriendship shifts, chosen family, and community supportHow queer identity, culture, and values shape ENM disclosureThe emotional labour of educating others about ethical non-monogamyMentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private communityPolysecure (book)The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)Love what you hear?Follow, rate, and review the podcast — it really helps more people find us.Support us and access our private Discord via Ko-fi.Next up: we're diving into dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly. Don’t miss it. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.

Welcome to The ENM DNM Hey friends! This is a quick intro to The ENM DNM – a podcast where we have deep and meaningful conversations about ethical non-monogamy.I’m Adam (he/him), a counsellor, youth worker, and community member, and this podcast is just people sharing their real experiences of ENM.No advice, no preaching—just honest chats.If you like what you hear and want to support the pod (and help me offer free or discounted therapy to those who need it), you can join the Discord by chucking in a few dollars on Ko-fi. It really helps. Thanks for being here. Let’s get into it.

Episode 3: Intersectionality and ENMWhat happens when your queerness, culture, neurodivergence, and upbringing all collide with ethical non-monogamy? We’re talking about the beautiful mess that is intersectionality. In this episode, we explore how identity shapes the way we show up in ethical non-monogamy (ENM). From growing up in religious households or navigating white privilege to being queer, neurodivergent, or culturally “othered,” we get real about how our histories affect our desires, relationships, and sense of belonging in polyamorous and open relationship spaces. This is one for anyone who's ever wondered, "Am I doing this right?" or "Is it just me?" (Spoiler: it’s not.)What We Talk About:How race, culture, gender, and queerness influence our experiences in ENMThe impact of religious and conservative upbringings on identity and relationshipsShame, internalised norms, and how we begin to unlearn themThe role of gender identity and sexuality in open relationshipsNavigating ENM while feeling “not queer enough” or “too much”Relationship structures beyond the mainstreamFriendship, intimacy, and redefining what connection meansVulnerability, self-discovery, and making space for changeMentioned in This Episode:Ko-Fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and our communityThe Ethical Slut (book)Love what you hear? If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.Want to keep the conversation going?Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, identity, support, and more.Next episode, we’re diving into communication and boundaries—how we define them, where we struggle, and what it means to communicate well in ENM.Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, consent, and community.

Episode 2: Initial Struggles with ENMStarting out in ethical non-monogamy can feel like learning to walk on a tightrope—in the dark, with no map. We’ve been there. What we talk about in this episode:In this episode, we get real about the messy, confusing, and sometimes magical first six months of navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM). From awkward first dates and emotional overwhelm to finding community and unlearning monogamy norms, we share the stuff people don’t always talk about. Whether you’re newly polyamorous, deep in open relationships, or just curious about relationship structures outside the mainstream, this one’s for you. What We Talk About:Our first steps into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and polyamoryWhere we looked for information, advice, and emotional supportEarly emotional challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and lonelinessThe cultural and queer identity layers that shaped our experiencesHow support groups, dating apps, and community events helped (or didn’t)Good advice, bad advice, and everything in betweenPersonal reflections, resilience, and learning to sit with discomfortWhat we wish we’d known when we were starting out in ENMMentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnmyarnn.auPoly Phelia InstagramShrimp Teeth Instagram The Ethical Slut (book)Love what you hear?If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.Want to keep the conversation going? Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, dating, identity, and more.Next episode, we’re diving into intersectionality in ENM—how our race, gender, queerness, and lived experience shape the way we show up in relationships. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, community, and the very real struggles of starting out.

Episode 1: Starting Out in ENMHow We Found Ethical Non-Monogamy and What It Means to Us Curious about how people actually get into ethical non-monogamy? In this very first episode of The ENM DNM, we sit down with our full crew – Adam, Leonie, Ed, Ari, and Jacqui – to share how we each found our way into ENM, polyamory, or something a little harder to define. From queerness and curiosity to dissatisfaction with monogamy, our journeys into non-traditional relationship structures are deeply personal, sometimes hilarious, and always real. We unpack the words that have shaped us – like polyamory, relationship anarchy, and ethical non-monogamy – and how labels can be both empowering and frustrating. Whether you're still figuring out what label (if any) fits you, or you're happily dancing outside the boxes, this one’s for you.What we talk about in this episode:How we each came to non-monogamy, and whyWhy labels like polyamory, ENM, and RA can be useful… or notWhat communication, consent, and boundaries look like in real lifeEarly challenges and moments of growthHow queer identity, community, and self-discovery intersect in our relationshipsMentioned in this episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help us keep going 💛yarnn.auhausofdizzy.comkinyalerrk.com.auclothingthegaps.com.auDecolonise Yourself Card Game by Aretha BrownLove what you hear?Join our community on Discord (coming soon!)Support us on Ko-FiSubscribe or follow wherever you get your podcastsShare this episode with your polycule, your curious mates, or your queer book clubNext episode: Navigating The Early Days of ENM– we’re diving into the messy first six months of non-monogamy and how we survived them.