Don't Be a Jerk

Rafael Burde holds one of the most quietly powerful jobs on the planet. As Co-Lead of Global Search Policy at Google, he helps decide what information billions of people see (or don't see) when they search online. Google processes 14 billion searches per day, and Raf's team writes the policies that govern all of it.His guiding principle? "Safeguarding without sanitizing." He navigates the ultimate high-wire act: keeping the internet open and useful while protecting users from harm.But this conversation goes far beyond tech and trust. Raf and I met at Penn, lost touch for years, then randomly reconnected at Whole Foods in 2019. Since then, I've had a front-row seat to watching someone navigate immense responsibility with remarkable humility.In this episode, we explore:- The framework Raf uses to make decisions affecting billions: "What's the harm? What's our role? What's proportionate?"- Resume virtues vs. eulogy virtues and why most of us are optimizing for the wrong one- The meaning crisis, and Raf's definition: "The things you want to endure once you're gone and the contributions you're going to make to it"- Suffocation vs. abdication in parenting, leadership, and platform governance- Why 54% of Americans don't know their neighbors and what we're losing- Why intergenerational friendships are the most underinvested asset- The Two Pockets Principle: "The world was created for you" AND "You are nothing but dust and ashes"Rafael is also a Bay Area community leader, father, and someone who's proof that you can hold immense power and still lead with humility, nuance, and care.This conversation on ‘Don’t Be a Jerk’ changed how I think about meaning, responsibility, and what actually matters. I hope it does the same for you.Resources Mentioned in the Episode:- Eulogy vs resume virtues - Brooks, Road to Character- "Not your duty to finish the work, nor are you at liberty to neglect it" - Pirkei Avot 2:16- Two pockets teaching: Carry two slips of paper, one in each pocket. One reads "the world was created for me", the other "I am but dust and ashes" (ancient Jewish teaching - no consensus source)- "Meaning = what you care about enduring once you're gone, and the contributions you make to it" (John Vervaeke)- "If you want to succeed once, set a goal. If you want to succeed over time, build a system" (Clear, Atomic Habits)- Effective platform regulation avoids the extremes of both abdication and suffocation (Jonathan Zittrain)Timestamps0:00 - Intro1:19 - Co-leading global search policy at Google8:37 - The AI search race & the war for how we make sense of the world16:22 - The two pockets teaching: confidence vs. humility17:37 - Why community is Rafael's secret weapon24:29 - Résumé virtues vs. eulogy virtues29:53 - How Rafael defines meaning36:55 - The case for intergenerational friendships41:03 - Abdication vs. suffocation in parenting & leadership47:28 - Advice for anyone stepping into a seat of power

In a world where employees change jobs every 18 months, Dr. Ilana Nankin has had zero voluntary resignations in five years at Breathe For Change.Ilana is a former public school teacher, holds a PhD in education, and is the co-founder and co-CEO of Breathe For Change, an organization dedicated to educator well-being and human-centered leadership. Since she stated the organization 10 years ago, they have trained over 20,000 educators to become more mindful, grounded leaders. What started as research into burnout has evolved into a company culture so strong that people simply don’t want to leave.In this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk, we go deep into the specific practices behind that culture and why they work even in high-pressure, remote-first environments.We cover:Why Ilana starts meetings with a two-word emotional check-in and how it takes less than 30 secondsHow gratitude and appreciation rituals actually increase performance instead of lowering the barThe hiring mistake she made early on that nearly broke her cultureWhy psychological safety is the foundation for honest feedback and real accountabilityThe moment she led a room of skeptical investors through a two-word check-in and why one later called it the best pitch he’d ever seenHow these practices don’t cost time… they give time backThis conversation isn’t about being “nice.” It’s about building teams that perform with gratitude in mind, stay connected, and don’t burn out when things get hard.If you’re a founder, leader, or manager trying to build something that actually lasts, this episode will change how you think about culture.

Too many wellness brands try to sell a feeling. Dan Cox decided to sell the truth.You might recognize Dan as the ultra-fit guy from The Bachelorette. What you probably don’t know is that instead of riding the influencer wave, he opened nutrition stores, built multiple supplement brands, and quietly made integrity the core of his business.In this episode, we talk about what it actually looks like to do things the “right” way when it’s harder, slower, and more expensive.We get into:- Why Dan barely spends on ads and relies on trial and word-of-mouth instead- The real tension between profit and integrity when deadlines hit- How wellness trends go from “helpful for a few” to misleading for everyone- Why expectations, not effort, derail most weight loss journeys- What it means to build a brand you can sleep at night runningThis is a grounded conversation about building trust, resisting shortcuts, and choosing the long game in an industry that rewards the opposite.If you’re building something and trying not to lose yourself in the process, this one’s for you.

Every January, we’re told to set goals. More goals. Bigger goals. Smarter goals.And yet… most of us still feel weirdly unclear about what we actually want.In this solo episode of Don’t Be a Jerk, I share a goal-setting exercise that completely reframed how I think about my life. It started with a single line from a friend that stopped me cold: “Most people set goals for their resume. You should be setting goals for your tombstone.” Then, I stumbled across a book called Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain while I was on vacation, and it changed everything for me.These ideas sent me down a rabbit hole of reflection, journaling, and some uncomfortable honesty about what I’ve been optimizing for (and what I haven’t).In this episode, we talk about:- Why traditional goal setting often leaves people feeling empty- The difference between resume goals and life goals- The five most common regrets people have at the end of their lives- Why clarity about the end can change how you live right now- And how a simple writing exercise helped me realign my priorities around love, family, work, and fulfillmentThis is about designing a life you’d be proud to look back on. If you’ve ever felt successful but still slightly off, I think this one will resonate with you.

What if the most important skill for founders isn’t intelligence, hustle, or speed but empathy?In this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk, I sit down with Mike Jones, co-founder and CEO of Science Inc., former CEO of MySpace, and early backer of companies like Dollar Shave Club and Liquid Death. Mike has spent decades working with founders at every stage. What he’s learned runs counter to most startup advice.The best founders aren’t the loudest in the room. They don’t try to prove how smart they are. And they definitely don’t lead with ego.Instead, they lead with curiosity, humility, and a deep connection to the people they’re building for.We talk about why there’s a growing global empathy problem in tech, how that shows up in products and leadership, and what founders can actually do to fix it. This episode is a breakdown of why empathy, mission, and humility quietly outperform raw IQ and brute force.In this episode, we cover:- Why a University of Washington study found humility beats IQ as a predictor of performance- The difference between mercenary founders and missionary founders- Why trying to sound smart in a pitch is usually a losing strategy- How to evaluate decisions using the “deathbed test”- Why founders who ask better questions win more often- How mission clarity makes hiring, marketing, and decision-making easier- Why asking for help early can save companies from dying quietly- How Mike designs his life around focus, family, and long-term thinkingThis conversation is especially relevant if you’re a founder, operator, or leader who’s tired of the “brilliant jerk” myth and wants to build something meaningful without burning bridges or yourself.If you care about building great companies and being a decent human along the way, this one’s for you.

What if the thing investors call a “liability” is actually your biggest edge?In this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk, I sit down with Damian Pelliccione, co-founder & CEO of Revry, an LGBTQ+ streaming network built on a simple, powerful belief: diversity isn’t charity… it’s a competitive advantage.We talk about what it really takes to lead diverse teams across generations, build an identity-driven business that’s also ruthlessly pragmatic, and keep going when the world tells you “no” (over and over again). Damian is hilarious, sharp, and deeply real about the operator journey.You’ll learn:- Why Damian believes “no is a motivator” and how to reframe rejection into momentum- Why diversity of thought beats “more resources” (and how to build teams that challenge assumptions)- The investor red flags Damian wishes they’d seen earlier and how to avoid “poster child” capital- The business case behind the $1.7T “rainbow economy” and why “June-only” marketing is a trap- The intersectionality lesson every B2C brand needs right now: “It drives dollars.”- The mindset pattern that separates elite performers (and founders): your bounce-back after a miss- Why “founder therapy” (aka your cohort/tribe) can be the difference between quitting and surviving🎧 If you’re a founder, exec, marketer, or anyone building teams in 2025, this one will change how you think about inclusion, performance, and leadership.Watch / listen now and if it resonates, send it to one person on your team who needs to hear it.Timestamps00:00 — “Diversity is the ultimate competitive advantage” (opening theme)00:05 — Meet Damian + the most intersectional founding team I’ve met00:08 — Sheryl Sandberg / “pods” + why diverse teams outperform00:10 — “Diversity is not charity.”00:13 — VCs, bias, and the comment Damian will never forget00:15 — Fundraising lesson: don’t chase money, choose partners00:19 — “I’m motivated by no.” The rejection reframe00:20 — Top 5 vs Top 25 tennis players: the bounce-back mindset00:22 — Near-death startup moments + how Revry survived00:28 — The scrappy SF Pride launch (yes… porta-potties)00:32 — The $1.7T rainbow economy + why Pride-month-only is “rainbow washing”00:39 — Founder neutrality: having a voice vs fiduciary reality00:47 — Leading across generations + building a mission-driven culture00:52 — “Founder therapy” + why you need a tribe00:54 — Damian’s advice to their 25-year-old self

This episode started with a hard moment of self-awareness.It was a quiet comment from my wife and a security camera clip I didn’t expect to watch. Then, I had a realization that I was rushing through the very moments I’ll one day miss the most.So I tried an exercise that stopped me in my tracks. I wrote a letter, as if I were 80 years old, waking up in my 41-year-old body for one single day.What came out was emotional, grounding, and deeply clarifying. In this solo episode, I slow everything down and walk through the exercise, the moments that inspired it, and the mindset shifts that followed. This isn’t a productivity episode. It’s a presence episode.If you’ve ever felt like life is moving too fast, you’re always optimizing for “later”, or you’re succeeding on paper but missing something real: this one is for you.In this episode, we explore:- The moment I saw myself clearly (and didn’t like what I saw)- The letter I wrote from my 80-year-old self (and why it broke me open)- Why the “arrival fallacy” keeps us chasing the next milestone- A simple daily prompt that changed how I show up as a father, partner, and leader- How imagining the ending can radically improve the way you live today- Why helping others may be the clearest path to a meaningful lifeThis episode is raw, personal, and intentionally slower than usual. You don’t need to be a parent to listen. You don’t need to be 41. You just need to be human.If it changes even one ordinary day for you, it did its job.⏱️ TIMESTAMPS00:00 – A hard conversation & an uncomfortable realization02:00 – Watching myself through someone else’s eyes04:30 – The exercise that changed everything05:00 – Reading the letter from my 80-year-old self13:30 – Why ordinary days are the ones we’ll miss most19:50 – A dark career moment and the mindset shift that saved me26:00 – “Everything works out in my favor” (and why it works)37:50 – Imagining the ending as a daily decision-making tool40:30 – The question I ask before every moral decision42:00 – The one lesson I hope my kids remember45:00 – A quiet closing invitation to try this yourself

What if your success has nothing to do with you? That is the worldview of Bing Chen. And it has shaped two massive revolutions: the YouTube creator economy and the rise of Asian representation in Hollywood.Bing and I go all the way back to Wharton. We were in the same senior society. After college we’d grab coffee in New York and he’d casually say things like, “I think millions of people will make their full-time living on YouTube.” He was right. He helped build it.Today he is the CEO and Co-Founder of Gold House. Under his leadership the collective has supported over 600 projects, helped 100 films and shows reach #1 total debuts, and driven billions in revenue.But none of that is why this conversation blew me away. The real story is Bing’s philosophy.This is a conversation about generosity, legacy, culture, and what leadership actually looks like when you center it on others.⏱️ Timestamps00:00 – Why Bing and I still feel like caffeinated college kids03:00 – The early YouTube years and the birth of the creator economy07:00 – Bing’s definition of success and how losing his father changed everything10:00 – Why real givers never count who owes them11:30 – Naming the “creator.” The internal battles inside YouTube15:00 – How Gold House accidentally came to life16:00 – The strategy behind rallying a global diaspora17:00 – The three universal human desires (health, love, meaning)20:00 – The truth behind #GoldOpen and engineering cultural wins23:00 – Why 100 films and shows reached number one in total debuts25:00 – How community movements are intentionally built28:00 – The manifesto of Gold House and why it is built on giving29:30 – Why they chose the color gold and how brand identity shapes culture31:00 – Being “the first call” when people win or fall33:00 – Building a Marvel-scale creative universe about death36:00 – Why contemplating mortality makes you more generous41:00 – How to design community experiences that spark real impact44:30 – Ethics, character checks, and the courage to excommunicate the wrong people47:00 – The leadership principle Bing wishes he learned earlier50:00 – How to be “the only one,” not the best one55:00 – Final reflections on kindness, ambition, and legacyThis episode is a masterclass in impact, community, and leadership.If you’ve ever wondered how to build something bigger than yourself, Bing is the blueprint.🎧 Listen to the full episode of “Don’t Be a Jerk” now on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Most people meet a quantum physicist and think they have nothing in common.But Anastasia Marchenkova is built different.She went from breaking the servers at Georgia Tech to building quantum chips at Rigetti, to investing in deep-tech startups, to teaching introverts how to communicate. And along the way she discovered something surprising.Being smart is not the hard part. Being human is. In this episode, we talk about how Anastasia rewrote her entire identity. From shy scientist to founder to creator to someone who believes empathy is a core technology.You will hear:- The night she accidentally took down Georgia Tech’s internet and got seed funding for it- Why scientists struggle to admit “I don’t know” and how it kills innovation- The “misogyny is a skill issue” problem in tech and what confident people do differently- Why 85 percent of career success comes from people skills, not IQ- How she taught herself charisma using physics-level study habits- Why scientists should fire clients faster- The rule she lives by online: never punch down- How to handle haters who can’t spell “your”- The moment she realized asking for help is a superpower- How boundaries make you kinder, not harsher- The real cost of being the smartest person in the roomThis conversation is part science, part philosophy, and part survival guide for anyone who has ever felt like their intelligence outran their communication skills.EPISODE TIMESTAMPS00:00 — The supervillain origin story03:00 — Breaking Georgia Tech’s servers and starting a company07:00 — The academic mindset vs the startup mindset11:30 — Why saying “I don’t know” increases innovation15:00 — The danger of needing to be the smartest person in the room17:30 — Why founders should fire faster20:00 — People skills as a competitive advantage27:00 — Misogyny as a skill issue30:00 — Handling online hate and setting boundaries35:00 — The psychology of communication in deep tech40:00 — What scientists can teach founders (and vice versa)48:00 — The most important question every technical leader should ask🎧 Listen to this episode of Don’t Be A Jerk wherever you get your podcasts.Follow along for more conversations on leadership, kindness, and the future of work:IG: @healeycypher | @dontbeajerkpodcastLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/healeycypher

What happens when you build everything you ever wanted… and still feel empty?For Jesse Pujji, that moment came after bootstrapping Ampush to a multi-eight-figure exit and realizing that money and titles weren’t enough.So he stepped back, did the inner work, and started Gateway X, a venture studio built around one radical idea: you can scale businesses and stay human.Jesse and I met as college kids at Wharton 20+ years ago. He was the calm, wise one. Let’s just say I was… not that. That’s why this conversation felt like a full circle moment for me.In this conversation, Jesse and I talk about what happens behind the curtain of “success” and how fear, ego, and self-awareness shape everything from our leadership style to our happiness.You’ll hear:Why fear and extrinsic motivation (money, titles, status) will get you far but can’t take you all the way.The 5 motivators that drive every founder (and how to choose yours consciously).How to find your “one thing you can’t NOT do.”Why Jesse left a $1M offer on the table to start his company.How to turn anxiety into presence: in real time, even in a meeting.The difference between treating people like employees vs. adults.What it means to run your business as a spiritual practice.The moment humility became Jesse’s superpower.This episode is for for anyone building something big and trying to stay grounded while they do it.⏱️ TIMESTAMPS00:00 — How Healey and Jesse met at Wharton (and the TA story that started it all)03:30 — Why Jesse left Wall Street to build a company from scratch06:00 — The crash after the win: what happens when external success stops working07:30 — The 5 motivators that drive all human behavior (and how to choose your fuel)10:00 — When money stopped motivating and what filled the gap11:50 — “What’s the one thing you can’t not do?” Finding purpose through practice13:20 — From purpose to play: how to live in your “zone of genius”18:00 — The decision to leave a $1M job offer and follow intuition25:30 — “Fear is excitement without breath.” How to reframe fear as energy27:00 — Aliveness as the compass: how to know you’re on your path30:00 — Work as a spiritual pursuit (and how to turn frustration into curiosity)33:00 — Mirrors, ego, and the parts of ourselves we don’t want to see38:00 — The moment Jesse said “I feel scared” in a meeting (and how it changed the room)42:00 — Why presence is contagious and awareness builds trust44:30 — Treating people like adults (and why “loving candor” works better than control)47:00 — How humility became Jesse’s leadership advantage50:00 — What he wishes someone told him earlier about money, fear, and fulfillment52:30 — Where to find Jesse today and what he’s building next—🎧 Listen now to Don’t Be a Jerk wherever you get your podcasts. Follow for more conversations on leadership, kindness, and the inner work of building something that lasts.IG: @healeycypher | @dontbeajerkpodcastLinkedIn: Healey Cypher

What happens when authenticity becomes your superpower?For Goldie Chan, she turned her authentic, vulnerable story into a personal brand everyone wants. She’s the founder of Warm Robots, a Forbes contributor, and the author of Personal Branding for Introverts, a guide to building influence without pretending to be someone you’re not.Dubbed the “Oprah of LinkedIn,” Goldie built one of the most trusted voices in storytelling and leadership by doing something revolutionary in the age of algorithms: leading with heart.In this episode, Healey Cypher sits down with Goldie to talk about how stories shape trust, why vulnerability is magnetic, and what it really takes to connect in a world run by metrics.You’ll hear:How emotional intelligence beats IQ in leadership and influenceThe two versions of every great story (and when to use each)Why authenticity builds more trust than perfection ever couldHow to make one-to-many communication feel one-to-oneWhy “Yes, and…” might be the secret to better teams and conversationsHow Goldie’s cancer story became a masterclass in vulnerabilityThe storytelling framework that every founder should stealThis conversation is equal parts strategy and soul. It’s about turning your humanity into your advantage and proving that empathy, not ego, is the real growth engine.⏱️ EPISODE TIMESTAMPS00:00 — The story behind Don’t Be a Jerk (and Adam Grant’s advice)05:00 — Meet Goldie Chan: from poetry to the “Oprah of LinkedIn”10:00 — Why storytelling is the most human skill we have left14:30 — “Broetry,” bad writing, and how to actually hook your reader19:00 — Vulnerability as a superpower: Goldie’s cancer story22:00 — The two versions of every story: short vs. long26:30 — Authenticity → Trust → Performance: the leadership loop31:00 — The improv rule that transforms conversations34:00 — How to make one-to-many feel one-to-one40:00 — Confidence vs. ego — and why both are contagious47:00 — Storytelling as a muscle: how to keep it strong55:00 — Goldie’s final lesson: tell the story that resonates🎧 Listen now to this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk wherever you get your podcasts.Follow along for more conversations on leadership, empathy, and storytelling in the age of AI:IG: @healeycypher@dontbeajerkpodcastLinkedIn:Healey Cypher

What happens when life throws you something you can’t control?For Lucy Aragon, the answer was to keep dancing.She’s been to 105 countries, built a life around optimism and adventure, and faced her husband’s cancer diagnosis with humor, perspective, and a contagious belief that joy isn’t luck. It’s work.In this episode, Healey Cypher sits down with Lucy to talk about the art of staying light when life gets heavy. From her solo travels through war zones to the lessons she learned about resilience, confidence, and perspective, Lucy’s story is a reminder that happiness isn’t something you find. It’s something you create.You’ll hear:- How travel rewires your empathy and your brain- Why “the rules were invented by people way stupider than you”- The moment in Yemen that changed how she sees courage- How humor became her greatest survival tool- Why optimism is a health advantage, not a personality trait- The 50 Cent quote that helped her beat anxiety and depression- What lighting poop on fire taught her about leadership and joyThis conversation is equal parts philosophy and laughter. It’s about choosing perspective over panic, humor over fear, and joy as a daily act of rebellion.⏱️ EPISODE TIMESTAMPS00:00 — How Healey and Lucy met (and why she lights up every room)04:00 — Travel as a teacher: empathy, perspective, and the Yemen story10:00 — “The rules were invented by people way stupider than you”15:30 — Disneyland, the 8-year-old, and the moment Lucy realized most rules are fake24:30 — Facing cancer with confidence, humor, and perspective31:00 — Why optimism isn’t denial35:45 — How comparison became the thief of modern joy39:00 — Travel, gratitude, and the psychology of happiness45:20 — “Depression is a luxury” from 50 Cent49:00 — Anxiety, control, and the mental rewiring that joy requires55:00 — The loneliness epidemic and how to fight it with connection01:05:00 — The art of humor (even when life is serious)01:10:00 — Lighting poop on fire (yes, really) and parenting through joy01:17:00 — Why intention matters more than perfection01:22:00 — Lucy’s final lesson: You can just be happy, without being rich or successful—🎧 Listen now to this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk wherever you get your podcasts.Follow along for more conversations on leadership, kindness, and the science of joy:IG: @healeycypher | @dontbeajerkpodcastLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/healeycypher/

What does it take to build a real community in a world that rewards hustle over humanity?Espree Devora has spent over a decade answering that question.She’s the founder of We Are LA Tech and host of Women in Tech, where she’s spent thousands of hours connecting entrepreneurs, creators, and founders (and learning the hard way what it means to lead with empathy).In this episode, Healey Cypher sits down with Espree to explore the science and soul of connection. From raising venture capital with no introduction to Sequoia, to learning the power of boundaries, breathwork, and burnout recovery, Espree shares how to build communities that last, starting with yourself.You’ll hear:- Why community is a human survival tool, not a marketing strategy- The simple mindset shift that made Espree fall in love with herself- How to set boundaries without shutting people out- Why “curious compassion” can fix almost any conflict- The real reason most founders burn out- What Tony Hsieh taught her about culture and core values- How to build belonging without losing yourself in the processThis conversation is equal parts tactical and deeply human. It’s about self-worth, leadership, and why the most successful communities are built on something simple but radical: love.🎧 Listen now to this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your shows.Follow along for more conversations on empathy, leadership, and the art of human connection:@healeycypher | @dontbeajerkpodcast

What happens when you build a $400 million startup and then lose it all?For James Beshara, the answer wasn’t another company. It was a complete rewiring of how to live.In this episode, Healey Cypher sits down with the founder of Tilt (acquired by Airbnb) and Magic Mind to talk about the unseen side of ambition: the waves you catch, the ones you miss, and the peace that comes when you stop fighting the current.James shares how public failure became the best thing that ever happened to him, why stillness is the ultimate competitive advantage, and how a decade of studying philosophy (Advaita Vedanta) reshaped his definition of success.You’ll hear:- How to build mental wealth the same way you build physical health- Why “we don’t see the world as it is; we see it as we are”- The founder trap of external validation and how to escape it- The 90-minute morning ritual that keeps him calm in chaos- Why work without attachment is a form of worship- The story behind my $100 million mistake and what it taught him about ego- The simple, radical truth that changed his life: “It’s not out there.”This conversation is a rare blend of practicality and philosophy. It’s about ambition without anxiety, growth without ego, and finding meaning in the middle of the mess.🎧 Listen now to this episode of “Don’t Be a Jerk” on your favorite podcast platform.

What if telling the truth faster could make your company more profitable, your culture stronger, and your life easier?Robert Yuen, CEO of Monograph, believes it can. He has built an entire business around it.In this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk, Healey sits down with Robert to unpack what radical transparency really looks like in practice. They discuss everything from open dashboards and revenue lines visible to every employee, to investor meetings where Robert leads with the hard stuff first.Together, Healey and Robert explore:- Why transparency is the ultimate trust accelerant and the only sustainable culture strategy- How to communicate bad news without breaking morale- When to hold back information and how to do it without eroding trust- Why asking for help early saves startups from silent collapse- How Monograph uses visual dashboards, revenue transparency, and consistent cadences to eliminate surprises- The money conversation script architects and founders should use to make pricing fair, firm, and drama-free- How transparency with investors flips power dynamics and attracts the right partners faster- The surprising reason radical honesty is also a form of self-careRobert’s leadership philosophy is simple but bold: “Transparency might backfire sometimes, but it always nets positive.”This episode is part tactical playbook, part therapy session for founders who are tired of carrying everything alone. If you have ever wondered how to build a company that runs on trust rather than politics, this conversation is your blueprint.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!

Empathy is one of the most powerful tools we have for survival, leadership, and connection.In this episode of Don’t Be a Jerk, Healey Cypher sits down with Jamil Zaki — Stanford psychology professor, empathy researcher, and author of The War for Kindness — to explore why empathy is under siege and how we can build it back, stronger than ever.Jamil shares:Why empathy has declined 40% in the past few decades and why that’s reversible.How reading fiction can be a “gateway drug” for empathy.A simple tactic to de-escalate conflict (marriage fights included): list what you don’t know and what you already agree on.Why organizations that lead with empathy have lower turnover, more innovation, and stronger profits.How to move from a “warrior mentality” to a guardian mentality in leadership.Why nobody says hi… but everybody says hi back (and what that reveals about loneliness).The contagious nature of kindness and how to spark a ripple effect in your team.Why Jamil believes the empathy deficit is less about supply, and more about demand.This is empathy with receipts: science, data, and tactical frameworks you can use today. Whether you’re running a company, managing a team, or just trying to argue better with your spouse, this episode is for you.

When you think about “service,” you might picture a volunteer day with matching T-shirts or a line on a résumé. But for Shakirah Simley, service is deeper. It’s generational. It’s survival. And it’s the force that has guided her life and leadership.Shakirah grew up in Harlem and the South Bronx, raised by a family of Black women leaders, social workers, and activists. Today, she’s the Executive Director of the Booker T. Washington Community Service Center in San Francisco, where she’s quintupled the budget, quadrupled the staff, and transformed the center into a thriving hub of housing, education, food justice, and wellness.In this conversation, Shakirah and Healey explore:- Why research shows service makes us healthier, happier, and even live longer- The difference between “resume service” and service that truly transforms communities- Why low-income and marginalized communities are often the most generous- How to prevent burnout when your job is helping others- Shakirah’s framework for service: time, treasure, and talent- The connection between service, empathy, and stronger democracies- Why humility isn’t optional if you want to lead with impactThis conversation is about building trust, resilience, and joy through the act of giving back.If you’ve ever thought “I’m too busy to volunteer” or wondered how to make service a real part of your life, this episode will change how you think.

When I first met Young Han, he wasn’t coming on my podcast. He was stepping in as a fractional CFO to help me lead through one of the hardest stretches of my career.Within 15 minutes of our first meeting, he scrapped his entire plan and said: “We’re meeting three nights a week at 7pm until we get through this.” And then he did. Night after night, Young sat down with me and helped me push through. That’s who he is.Today, Young is a serial founder, fractional COO/CFO, coach, and host of The Girl Dad Show. He’s on a mission to build 20 businesses to $1M ARR each. But more importantly, he’s built an operating system for human connection.In this episode we cover:- Why Starbucks taught him that relationships can outweigh even product quality- His 4-step framework for building trust instantly- The Rule of 100 and how it increases your surface area for luck- Why the future belongs to the emotionally fluent, not just the technically brilliant- Why diversity is a competitive advantage- How to prepare for interactions without being transactionalYoung’s story is part playbook, part inspiration, and all high-energy. If you want to learn how to scale not just your business but your relationships, this one’s for you.Full episode is live now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.

Aaron Schwartz has built and scaled companies you know — Modify Watches, Passport, Loop Returns — and now Orita.ai, helping 100+ brands land in inboxes instead of spam. But ask anyone who’s worked with him, and they’ll tell you his real superpower isn’t just building businesses. It’s building people.In this conversation, we dig into:- Why sharing problems faster leads to better solutions (and stronger relationships).- The inner circle of advisors that Aaron has relied on for years, and how you can build one too.- His personal framework for paying it forward without burning out.- Why he only advises founders he’d be willing to work for himself.- The surprising ROI of generosity (including the story of how a casual meeting in Bryant Park turned into co-founding Orita).- How to be authentic without oversharing, and the boundaries that protect trust.- Balancing the weight of being a founder with the realities of family, guilt, and joy.- The books Aaron rereads to stay focused and grounded when life gets loud.This one’s about generosity, luck, boundaries, and the human side of building. I walked away with a new perspective on who I help, how I help, and what I say yes to. And I think you will too.Full episode is live now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.

This one’s different. No guests, no interviews. Just me, your questions, and a few stories from the trenches.Over the last few weeks of Don’t Be a Jerk, I’ve had incredible conversations with founders, VCs, coaches, and comedians. But behind the scenes, I’ve also been getting a flood of DMs, texts, and Slack messages with questions about leadership, empathy, and what it actually means to “not be a jerk” at work.So in this special solo episode, I sit down to answer them. We get into:- Why I started this podcast in the first place- How to be conflict-seeking without being an asshole- The #1 mistake early leaders make that kills credibility- How to repair when you realize you were the jerk- The difference between expectations and agreements- How to fire someone without being cruel- The art of debriefs and BLUFs (bottom line up front)- Two things you can do tomorrow to become a better person- How to rebuild trust once it’s been brokenThis episode is part playbook, part confession, part experiment, but at the core it’s about the same idea that launched this whole show: kindness in leadership isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.If you’ve got more questions you want me to tackle in a future solo episode, drop them in the comments, DM me, or send a carrier pigeon. You never know, maybe your question makes the next one.