The Play Therapy Circle

Child Development Theory: The Lens Beneath Every Play SessionWhy does a four-year-old believe their angry thoughts made their teacher sick? Why is a ten-year-old so focused on what's fair? And why is it pointless to ask a child in the middle of a meltdown to "use their words"?In this episode of The Play Therapy Circle, Kylie Ellison continues our Foundations Series by exploring child development theory and why it's such an important lens in the playroom. A child's play reflects their developmental age, not their chronological age, and understanding that difference changes how we see and respond to what they're showing us.Kylie walks us through four key frameworks:Piaget's cognitive development theory: How children think differently from adults, including egocentric and magical thinking in younger children and themes of rules and fairness in the school years. Kylie also shares why trusting children's concrete, literal play can take the pressure off over-analysing.Erikson's psychosocial stages: The developmental tasks children are working through, from trust versus mistrust to identity versus role confusion, and what we might see in the playroom when a stage hasn't been resolved.Attachment theory: How secure, avoidant, ambivalent and disorganised attachment can show up in play, and how our consistent, accepting presence offers children a different experience of relationship.Neurodevelopment: Why the brain develops from the bottom up, why you can't reason with a dysregulated child, and how Dr Bruce Perry's regulate, relate, reason sequence guides our work.Whether you're an experienced practitioner looking for a refresher or just starting out, this episode is a great foundation for understanding what children are trying to communicate through play.A huge thank you to our listeners in 88 countries around the world!Next week: Parents as partners in play therapy.Connect with us:Follow The Play Therapy Circle on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok.Questions or shout-outs: [email protected] our free Circle community: Circle Subscriptions - Kylie Ellison Therapy & TrainingLearn more about child-centred play therapy training: Play Therapy Training Australia | Kylie Ellison Therapy & TrainingIf you enjoyed this episode, please follow, rate and share it with a colleague.This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not provide therapeutic advice. Listening does not create a client-therapist relationship. All case examples have been de-identified. If you're seeking personal support, please contact a qualified mental health professional in your area.

In this episode, Kylie Ellison kicks off a new series on the shape of what unfolds in the playroom, breaking down the framework of stages in child-centred play therapy (CCPT). Drawing on Garry Landreth's foundational work and over a decade of clinical experience, Kylie walks through why this framework matters so much, not just for practitioners trying to make sense of what's happening in session, but for communicating progress to parents, schools and other stakeholders along the way.Kylie unpacks each stage in turn. The warm-up stage, where trust and safety are built and the therapeutic alliance begins to take shape. The aggressive stage, often the hardest for both therapist and child, where kids test the negative aspects of self and therapeutic limits become essential. The regressive (or nurturing) stage, a softer but emotionally taxing phase where earlier attachment needs surface and get processed. And finally, mastery, the integration point where children build competency and, eventually, exit therapy.Throughout, Kylie shares practical language for talking to parents about non-linear progress, the importance of caregiver buy-in during the tougher stages, and how to recognise when a child is genuinely ready to finish their work with you. She also reflects on countertransference, congruence and what it really means to trust the process, even when it feels like Groundhog Day in the playroom.Whether you're a student just learning the framework or a seasoned play therapist after a refresher, this episode offers grounding, clarity and language you can take straight into your next parent consult.Next week: Parents as Partners.Got a question or topic you'd love Kylie to cover? Reach out at [email protected] or find us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @ThePlayTherapyCirclePodcast.

Esteem Building: Praising the Process, Not the ProductIn this episode of The Play Therapy Circle, Kylie Ellison wraps up our foundational skills series with a deep dive into esteem building statements, one of the most misunderstood skills in child centred play therapy.If you've ever caught yourself saying "good job" or "well done" in the playroom, this episode is for you. Kylie unpacks why praise, however well intentioned, can actually foster dependency on external validation rather than helping children build a genuine internal sense of self worth. Drawing on the work of Virginia Axline, Garry Landreth, and Cochran and Cochran, she explains the shift from evaluating a child's output to acknowledging their process, effort, and capability.In this episode, you'll learn:Why praise like "that's beautiful" or "I'm so proud of you" can unintentionally undermine a child's internal locus of controlThe difference between praise (evaluating the product) and esteem building (describing the process)Practical language you can start using today, including "you worked so hard and you didn't give up" and "you figured out how to make that work"How to respond when a child disagrees with your reflection, without slipping into reassurance or argumentCommon mistakes practitioners make with this skill, including overuse, making it about the adult, and disguising behaviour management as esteem buildingWhy holding silence can sometimes be more powerful than jumping in with a reflectionKylie also connects the dots between each child centered play therapy skill and the deeper therapeutic goals they support, helping you see the bigger picture behind the work happening in the playroom.Whether you're a play therapy student building your foundational skills or an experienced practitioner wanting a refresher, this episode offers a grounded, practical guide to helping children build authentic, internally driven self esteem.Next episode, we move into the stages of child centred play therapy, exploring meaning making, transference, and countertransference through a psychodynamic lens.Join our free Play Therapy Circle community and find out more about training via the links in the show notes. And mark your calendars, our first ever Play Therapy Circle Conference is coming to Brisbane this October with Kylie Ellison and Jodi Mullen.Community - Circle Subscriptions - Kylie Ellison Therapy & TrainingTraining - Play Therapy Training Australia | Kylie Ellison Therapy & TrainingConference - Play Therapy Circle Conference 2026 - Kylie Ellison Therapy & Training

Host Kylie Ellison continues the Back to Basics series with a deep dive into empathetic responding, the skill that takes reflecting feelings a step further. Kylie unpacks how empathetic responding differs from sympathy, agreement, and projection, why it stays with the child's felt experience rather than the cause behind it, and what it actually takes to deliver it well: warmth, congruence, following the child's pace, matching intensity, and trusting silence as part of the work.She also walks through five common pitfalls practitioners fall into, from evaluating instead of reflecting to rushing in to fix or reassure, and shares why authenticity matters more than getting the script "right."Alongside the clinical content, Kylie brings her usual warmth and honesty, talking through a new microphone arm, a very work-in-progress home studio, and the joys of spring arriving in Brisbane, plus shout-outs to listeners tuning in from 86 countries.Next week: esteem-building statements, the final skill in this foundational series.This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not provide therapeutic advice. If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional in your area.Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, and send your CCPT questions to [email protected].

The First Session: What to Expect (and What Not to Do) in Child-Centred Play TherapyIn this episode of the Foundation Series, Kylie Ellison, therapist, clinical supervisor, and play therapy trainer, dives deep into one of the biggest sources of anxiety for new play therapists: the first session with a child. If you've just finished your training or you're still building confidence in the playroom, this one's for you.The neurobiology of a first meetingKylie starts by unpacking neuroception, the concept from polyvagal theory describing how a child's nervous system is constantly assessing safety below conscious awareness. Before a single word is exchanged, a child's body is already deciding whether the playroom, and the therapist in it, feels safe. Understanding this piece is key to setting the tone for everything that follows.Why the relational piece matters so muchChildren don't arrive as blank slates. They come with an existing template for how adults behave, shaped by prior relationships, previous therapy experiences, or in some cases, trauma and child protection histories. Kylie reflects on Gary Landreth's idea that the therapist is often the first adult in a child's life who doesn't want anything from them, and why that shift can be so disarming and healing for kids who are used to placating, performing, or people-pleasing with the adults around them.Structuring the first sessionKylie walks through the practical mechanics of a first session, including:Grounding and regulating yourself before the child arrivesGetting on the child's physical level (and why she prefers sitting on the floor)The opening welcome statement, and variations for younger childrenSitting with the silence that follows, and recognizing when the urge to fill it is about you, not the childWhat not to do: asking questions, explaining play therapy, offering praise, or rescuingEnding the session with a five-minute warning and a clear, embodied closing statementWorking through common scenariosKylie also talks through real situations that come up in first sessions, including children who refuse to enter the playroom, kids with attachment or trauma histories who need more time to feel safe, separated or high-conflict families, and how to manage stakeholder expectations when trust-building takes longer than a few sessions. She's honest about the emotional toll this work can take, and the importance of clinical supervision and self-care along the way.This episode is a grounding reminder that CCPT isn't about having the perfect script. It's about trusting yourself, trusting the child, and trusting the process.Coming up next week: reflecting feelings and empathetic responding.Got a question or topic you'd love Kylie to cover? Email [email protected] or find the podcast @playtherapycircle on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.