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Dear Hank & John

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Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the fourth-tier English football club).
434 Episodes
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439: Division I Saint

439: Division I Saint

2026-01-2852:001

What is a patron saint? Do we all get eaten? How do flames decide where to go? How do trees stay standing?  What happened to Hank’s hair? How do doctors decide where the needles go? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.comJoin us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
438: The 2014 Episode

438: The 2014 Episode

2026-01-2158:583

What happened to John in 2014? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What would you want your clickbait title to be? What is a face? Why is an MRI so loud? Could Rome actually be built in a day? What is going on with the design of traffic lights? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Can one physically de-escalate? Are my hands actually colder than other parts of my body? Why can I see my veins so well? What would the internet look like if it was a 3D space? How do I know if I’m doing enough for my students? What would it feel like to be hit by a gravitational wave? How do we know the distance between the Earth and the Sun? Do squirrels get bored? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Do we sweat the same way vegetables do? What should I do if a billionaire sits down at my dinner table? How do I feel sane in today’s world? Can you please tell my twelve year old son to go to sleep? How did we decide the geological time scales? When were chairs invented? How does John manage his fear of TB contamination? What is Salinger-ing? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
434: Curt’s Fleas

434: Curt’s Fleas

2025-12-0341:45

Why don’t John and Hank live in the same state? Where does the chapstick go after I apply it? When my phone runs out of battery, why can't I plug it in and immediately use it? If aliens landed on Earth long after the sun has died, would there still be signs of former human life? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
433: Making the Ice

433: Making the Ice

2025-11-1936:31

Why are there so few left-handed people? Can people do things on instinct alone? Why haven’t babies evolved to sleep through the night? We’ve heard of ice breakers, but what are some ice makers? How do I decide if I should have kids? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
432: Turtetiquette

432: Turtetiquette

2025-11-1241:46

Who is responsible for the ridiculous pet names from John and Hank’s childhood? Any tips on how to cope with pre-wedding stress? Can you explain snot? What is turtle etiquette? What organs do you actually need? What would happen if the oceans were 50% less salty? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
How can I eat blocks of moldy cheese and it be delicious, but if I eat a moldy sandwich I die? Are there any experiences from the past 12 years that have shaped your current self? How do I make doing dishes less horrible? Is “up to 100% leak proof” some sort of marketing legal lingo? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
430: A Yawn Across Time

430: A Yawn Across Time

2025-10-2950:191

Would it be harder to swim in lava or water? Why do I have one long white hair that grows from my face cheek? What would the stars look like if I were moving faster than light, like the Enterprise in Star Trek? What role do John and Hank play with Partners In Health? How does gravity impact digestion? What is the longest length of time a yawn has been spread? Why is everything so hard? Can you quell my fears about AI? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
429:  The Mouse Layer

429: The Mouse Layer

2025-10-2237:111

Why don’t ants drown when it rains? Why is my car covered in bees? How do I balance a profession I love with wanting to have a life outside of work? Why is it easy to put my feet in water, but it’s uncomfortable to get my shoulders in water? How do I help my child navigate questions and fears about religion? Is the “membership rate” in A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor based on a valid economic theory or is it just a plot device? I accidentally walked into my neighbor’s dorm, do I have to go back and apologize even though I’m dying of embarrassment? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
428: Hard Pivot to Balls

428: Hard Pivot to Balls

2025-10-1546:301

If humanity is around long enough, could another species evolve to look like us to deter predators? What did people do when they woke up before the existence of phones? What’s your favorite replacement for a swear word? How do purple baby carrots exist? How do I cope with the end of childhood? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Do dogs have a preferred direction to chase their tail in? Why do we put the dollar sign before the number? Why don’t we have a word for “dying of thirst”? How do I approach public notoriety? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/dearhank Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
If John and Hank had to name something after each other, what would it be?  Could a balloon make it to space? Are athletes offended by how we talk about them? Does a Bloody Mary actually help a hangover? Why do dogs smell like that when they’re wet? Do John and Hank watch each other's videos? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
When did Hank decide to start going by “Hank”? Why do we have to die? Should I point out to my friend that they missed my birthday? What is your airport advice? Who is driving Saturn? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
If you were standing on Mercury or Venus, would the sun look bigger? How long is a "while"? What are career fields that AI won’t be able to replace? How do we not run out of crystals and gemstones?  How do I clear the smoke out of my house? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What is a nerdfighter? How do scabs work? How do I make my house feel like my home? Did John soft launch Keats & Co.? How much does the surface of the moon change over time? Do snakes take more time to digest their food if they’re bigger? How long is an era? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Do you think the current pope has eaten more hot dogs than the previous popes combined? Does the atmosphere distort our view of the stars? How do I ask people to talk to me about my book? What does the space represent in the molecule diagrams? How do I manage to be reminded of my old work without wanting to burn it all down? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Is it easier to push or pull? What is the difference between bandicoots and bilbies? Any advice on coping with a changing mental worldview? Who are your favorite family-friendly stand-up comedians? Will dinosaurs evolve again? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
420: The Plant Episode

420: The Plant Episode

2025-08-2041:23

Does John want to be a corn or pea plant? If we were able to put enough plants on Mars, could they produce enough oxygen for us to be able to breathe? Is there a scientific definition of what constitutes a weed? How do purple leaves work? Should I tell my friend she’s been watering a fake plant for seven months? …Hank and John Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Comments (374)

aku

the episode’s title is so sus 😭

Feb 6th
Reply

cleb ry

fall out boy: disobedient hurd of waterbuffilo ( I could probably write an essay on why but not sure if that works for you )

Jan 30th
Reply

Ripley

Madre Tereza wasn't a good person and that's not even debatable in 2026. Ppl who don't know about her abusive behavior and harmful beliefs should educate themselves. I understand that christians and 40+ devotes don't revise their ícones but us, slitely younger can do it now.

Jan 28th
Reply

Kai Thornton

Thanks for the episode! Very intriguing to hear both of your perspectives and reflections. I did add 15 years to my life realizing that, as I was a 12 to 14-year-old nerdfighter watching all of this unfold in real time, there are currently 12 to 14-year-olds who (prior to the episode) had no idea because they were toddlers and newborns at the time 🫠🫠

Jan 22nd
Reply

cleb ry

hank can you describe the internal pain you felt when john asked if the was a Ai dad joke? I've been feeling that lately a lot.

Jan 16th
Reply

cleb ry

I read a short story in high school similar to that. it was two kids in a boarded up house. its how I learned what a varicose vains are. also stop saying names or I'll start calling you some.

Dec 17th
Reply

cleb ry

this is a piss poor apology.. but accepted

Dec 17th
Reply

Ripley

:clearly"

Dec 16th
Reply

Christian Schewe

man that prediction about Trump was about as wrong as possible 🫤

Dec 12th
Reply

Ripley

I Hanks having a new baby 👶 🎉🎉🎉

Dec 11th
Reply

Heather

this is the best thing to listen to when my head gets full

Oct 2nd
Reply (1)

CarpeLibrum

"I'm not here to judge, but I am here to be concerned, worried, and mortified."-John Green, speaking to my soul this morning.

Sep 18th
Reply

Camille Denalli

Hilarious that this timeless episode happened during a week where the world went nuts, the Mars news still broke through. I still don't know anything about AFC Wimbledon, but maybe proof of life on Mars?

Sep 14th
Reply (1)

Janna Msouti

my answer was TEA-rex :(

Aug 31st
Reply

Jejj

🌿

Aug 24th
Reply

Jejj

I love the concept that while competition is important, collaboration is what truly drives success for our species. 💡

Aug 10th
Reply

aku

17:36 Can I read Everything is Tuberculosis if I’m squeamish?

Aug 9th
Reply (2)

aku

15:50 Can you gift a subscription on good.store?

Aug 9th
Reply

aku

19:36 How do I not feel lonely or like a social failure?

Aug 2nd
Reply (1)

aku

1:30 and Scandinavia’s descriptive would be Scandiwegian

Jul 15th
Reply