Cults to Consciousness

Following up our incredible interview with Lilia Tarawa, today we go LIVE with her to further discuss what it was like escaping the Gloriavale cult.  Founded by her grandfather, who was inspired by the Amish in the US, Gloriavale became an isolated community in New Zealand that implemented communal living, strict gender roles and even identical uniforms for its members. The numbers grew rapidly, especially since birth control wasn’t allowed. Lilia showed promise in leadership skills as a chiId, but was quickly shot down in an hours-long public shaming by her own grandfather. When her friends were being arranged to marry men they didn’t know or like, she realized she needed to escape. Learn how her whole family was able to leave Gloriavale and the struggles they faced afterwards. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch our initial interview with LiliaBook:  “Daughter of Gloriavale:  My Life in a Religious Cult”Find Lilia on social media!Podcast: “Brandbreaker with Lilia Tarawa”TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@liliatarawaFB: https://www.facebook.com/msliliatarawaIG: https://www.instagram.com/liliatarawa/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lilia Tarawa was raised in an isolated community in New Zealand started by her grandfather, called Gloriavale. Inspired by the Amish in the US, he implemented communal living, strict gender roles and even identical uniforms for its members. The numbers grew rapidly, especially since birth control wasn’t allowed. Lilia showed promise in leadership skills as a chiId, but was quickly shot down in an hours-long public shaming by her own grandfather. When her friends were being arranged to marry men they didn’t know or like, she realized she needed to escape. Learn how her whole family was able to leave Gloriavale and the struggles they faced afterwards. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch our follow up LIVE with LiliaBook:  “Daughter of Gloriavale:  My Life in a Religious Cult”Find Lilia on social media!Podcast: “Brandbreaker with Lilia Tarawa”TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@liliatarawaFB: https://www.facebook.com/msliliatarawaIG: https://www.instagram.com/liliatarawa/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No electricity, no running water, no indoor plumbing.  Lovina Zook grew up in one of the strictest Amish settlements started by her own family. Highly demanding gender roles were enforced leaving Lovina with no other choice than to marry a relative and become a busy housewife, or be considered an old maid at 24. She had high ambitions and knew she had to escape and trade her entire family and community to be free to live her dreams. Her stardom has grown exponentially on social media where she teaches others how to cook and bake like she did while in the Amish. Join us to find out how she managed to do it and any struggles she faced along the way. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch Lovina's initial interviewFind Lovina on social media!YT: https://www.youtube.com/@lovina_zook/videosIG: https://www.instagram.com/lovina_zook/TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@lovina_zookWebsite: https://socialsbylovina.com/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

No electricity, no running water, no indoor plumbing.  Lovina Zook grew up in one of the strictest Amish settlements started by her own family. It was common to marry cousins as most people there were related by blood and a woman would be considered an “old maid” if still single by 24 yrs old. Lovina discusses the hardest parts including struggling with mental heath, strict rules and not receiving any love or affection from parents of family members. As soon as she turned 18, she ran away in the middle of the night with the intention to become more than the Amish would ever allow. Lovina would then find a massive following on social media. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch our follow up LIVE with Lovina answering your questionsFind Lovina on social media!YT: https://www.youtube.com/@lovina_zook/videosIG: https://www.instagram.com/lovina_zook/TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@lovina_zookWebsite: https://socialsbylovina.com/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**00:00:00 Intro00:03:17 Lovina's Amish settlement00:06:01 How leadership is determined00:10:52 Strict dress code00:17:18 Importance of covering hair in Amish tradition00:20:42 What family like was like for Lovina00:26:30 Lack of affection within the household00:34:17 Hygiene standards within the community00:42:38 Why she ran away00:48:52 Marrying cousins & s*xual repression00:55:46 Smuggl*ng books00:58:10 Why Lovina didn't want to be baptized01:04:25 When Lovina left01:15:29 Difficulties after leaving01:28:01 How her parents treated her after leaving01:33:15 Linda, listenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Surviving Mormonism is a new limited series hosted by Real Housewife of Salt Lake City Heather Gay where she interviews people with harrowing stories of how the LDS church failed them. It is a heartbreaking series that reveals the reality of a systemic problem that is not only covered up by church officials, but amplified by their only true intentions…avoiding lawsuits and avoiding bad media. Thousands of people have shared their stories of abuse and coverups at the hands of their leaders who were supposed to protect them. In a church that claims to be the one true church of God, their priorities of protecting their assets over their most vulnerable members, leaves us all bewildered and angry. Episode by episode, Alyssa Grenfell and Shelise recount these stories as shown on the show and give their thoughts as former Mormons. Click here to watch on YouTubeCheck out Alyssa interview’s with Shelise on her Channel:  https://youtu.be/YEoxZu4Q8WsFind Alyssa on social media!YT: www.youtube.com/@alyssadgrenfell/IG: https://www.instagram.com/alyssadgrenfellTT: https://www.tiktok.com/@alyssadgrenfellThumbnail Photo of Alyssa provided by Ilana Panich-Linsman websiteSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:03:52 Who is Heather Gay00:07:20 How Mormon critics of the Church are shut out and silenced00:11:28 Did Alyssa feel she knew enough about the truth behind Mormonism when she served a mission trip00:13:43 Mormonism equates secrets with spirituality00:17:24 Bishops are instructed to call the law firm instead of report SA cases00:21:35 The church doesn't recognize being gay (David Matheson)00:45:37 Nick Jones, the former Bishop, who stepped down for moral reasons00:51:16 CW: CSA Cover up- Episode 301:00:40 Cognitive dissonance from the church members01:07:41 How dissenters and critics have changed LDS policy01:15:29 The insane ending to the show!01:19:09 Linda, ListenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In 2017, Miranda signed up for classes at Tara Yoga Centre in London — a studio associated with the larger network Atman federation (also sometimes called MISA in other countries). At first, the classes were marketed as esoteric or tantric yoga — spiritual practices about inner work, self-improvement and body awareness. As time went on, students were encouraged to date the teachers, blurring lines and creating a toxic power dynamic. Only the true seekers attended the many expensive retreats, which groomed her into desiring a tantric session with the all powerful Guru nobody had met. Slowly, things would become more sexual in nature and those who didn’t participate were seen as prude. After demonstrating her devotion, she was sent to meet the Guru in Paris at an undisclosed location with blacked out windows and other women coming and going blindfolded. She would then be forced into a “spiritual initiation” with the Guru which left her feeling empty and confused. After the ritual, most women were taken to another location where they were told to liberate the world, they needed to be Cam girls. In November 2023, Bivolaru was arrested in France along with many associates. Authorities accused him and the group of kidnapping, trafficking, and sexual exploitation of women under the guise of spiritual practice. Miranda continues to speak out about her experiences.Click here to watch on YouTubeFind Miranda on Social Media!IG:  https://www.instagram.com/gracefullawakenings/https://www.facebook.com/usyogaacademy US Branch atmancultalert.orghttps://atmanyogafederation.orghttps://atmancultalert.org resources in multiple languages with media on the organization to dateSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:03:33 Miranda's experience telling her story00:10:07 Group background00:14:11 How Miranda got involved00:15:46 When Miranda realized what she'd gotten into00:26:03 Miranda's experience at the retreat00:36:19 Meeting the "spiritual guide"00:54:05 Noticing red flags01:12:21 How Miranda felt after leaving01:15:40 Miranda's deconstruction01:21:30 Prosecution01:27:29 What brings Miranda joy now01:32:22 Linda, ListenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alexandra struggled with her parents’ treatment of her, as well as suffering SA which led to a deterioration of her mental health. Her parents then took drastic measures by paying for her to be kidnapped and taken to a wilderness camp in the dead of Utah winter. They were forced to hike every other day further into the mountains carrying a 60 pound backpack with very little food and warmth for 13 weeks straight. When hazardous conditions resulted in sores on their bodies, they would be asked to strip down in a tent where photos would be taken and sent off. Alexandra will share the detrimental effects during college while deconstructing her total of 9 months in the TT industry and we will further discuss better alternatives. Now, Alexandra is a Youth Rights Activist who advocates about the troubled-teen system— typically residential treatment centers, wilderness-therapy programs, “boot camps,” and therapeutic boarding schools aimed at adolescents deemed “at risk,” “troubled,” or having behavioral, emotional, substance-use, or academic issues.  She calls for awareness and reform speaking out about her time in TTI on social media.  Less than a week ago (after 4 years) she has unmasked. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch Alexandra's initial interviewFollow Alexandra on social media!Instagram: IG @trail.seasoning TikTok: @trailseasoning Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Alexandra struggled with her parents’ treatment of her, as well as suffering SA which led to a deterioration of her mental health. When she asked her parents for help, she was either dismissed or laughed at. When she was finally given some psychiatric care, it didn’t last long before her parents chose to instead hand over custody and ship her to Utah during winter for a wilderness camp. What was supposed to last 8-10 weeks went on for 13, deep in the snowy mountains with only a tent and utensils they cleaned with dirt. Compliance was expected and mental health ignored. However, even after Wilderness camp was over, she wouldn’t be permitted to go home. Instead she was taken to another facility for 6 months where her will was further broken and symptoms ignored. Now, Alexandra is a Youth Rights Activist who advocates about the troubled-teen system— typically residential treatment centers, wilderness-therapy programs, “boot camps,” and therapeutic boarding schools aimed at adolescents deemed “at risk,” “troubled,” or having behavioral, emotional, substance-use, or academic issues.  She calls for awareness and reform speaking out about her time in TTI on social media.  Less than a week ago (after 4 years)  she has unmasked.Click here to watch on YouTubeFollow Alexandra on social media!Instagram: IG @trail.seasoning TikTok: @trailseasoning Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:05:31 Alexandra's background00:08:55 Dealing with a SA experience00:11:31 How Alexandra's parents reacted to her as*ault00:22:13 Why her parents sent her away00:23:26 Getting k*dnapped00:26:32 Experience at the wilderness camp00:28:25 Strip searched and pan*cking when reality sets in00:34:02 Daily life at camp00:43:21 The food they had to eat00:47:38 "Therapy" at camp00:53:12 Alexandra thought she was free after wilderness camp....00:56:11 The second program Alexandra was forced into01:08:33 They trained them like dogs01:13:25 What returning home was like01:23:41 How Alexandra's parents have taken accountability01:25:31 How Alexandra is doing now01:27:39 Linda, listenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Raised in the “Holy War” and recruited as a soldier for Jesus, Philip Boltz, son of famous Christian singer Ray Boltz, was deeply invested in changing the world. He went on multiple mission trips abroad, ready to give everything, including his life for the cause. However, the goal to become a martyr was closer than he realized, when an emergency surgery leading to severe infection and medical neglect in India led him to be hospitalized. Ron Luze, the mega pastor leading this enormous teen-based corporation, even praised him for his valiance. This would cause him to double-down in his faith and be spiritually ready to go back to India the next year. More about Teen Mania can be found in the new docu-series Shiny Happy People: A Teenage Holy War, of which he is a part. Click here to watch on YouTubeTikTok: @suprfil Website: https://www.philboltz.comSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:03:12 Phil's experience being part of the documentary & his religious upbringing00:08:50 Phil's introduction to Teen Mania and mission trips00:17:26 Appendectomy in India00:23:08 Phil's infection and near de*th experience after surgery00:30:41 Leadership's responsibility for the safety of youth00:34:34 The Honor Academy and LTE's00:39:32 Abnormal patterns and practices in the organization00:51:05 Phil's teenage evangelizing and his stance now on high-control groups00:59:41 The beginnings of Phil's deconstruction01:05:52 Phil & who he is today01:09:20 Final thoughts and Phil's "Linda Listen"See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Liz Boltz Ranfeld, who was featured in the recent Shiny Happy People 2 documentary, was fully immersed in the “Teen Mania” lifestyle. She went on several overseas mission-trips that caused more fear and guilt due to the inability to faith heal on the spot, however it opened her eyes to other cultures that were being labeled as “demonic”. Her father was a well known Christian singer/song writer, Ray Boltz, which put all eyes on her to be a perfect example. Fully blind to the harms being caused at Teen Mania, she only started deconstructing after her parents forbid her from doing the full time-year-long-internship after her brother nearly died and she was stranded overnight at a busy airport with no help from the organization. Her father later came out as gay just as their whole family was doing away with Christian Fundamentalism and she would end up being one of the most critical voices against TM.Click here to watch on YouTubeFind and Support LizTikTok @lizboltz IG @liz_boltz_ranfeldWebsite https://www.lizbr.com/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:03:19 Liz' upbringing and childhood 00:05:06 First impressions of Acquire the Fire00:11:21 Liz' mission trips00:21:30 Liz' parents influence00:27:07 Teen Mania00:32:03 How Columbine affected Liz00:35:24 Liz' begins to question Teen Mania00:42:32 Why Liz wasn't able to continue with Teen Mania00:47:57 Liz' deconstruction00:52:34 Recovering Alumni blog00:55:02 Growing from the experience01:00:13 What Liz hopes people get out of the documentarySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

CW: Mentions of CSA, SA, ED & Suicide Ideation.  Sochil Martin was born and raised in the worldwide church known as La Luz del Mundo. At age 9 she started to become groomed to be a concubine to the Apostle who was their living prophet on Earth. Her own aunt took her to him, because that’s what had happened to her and her family as young girls. They were not only expected to comply, it was considered a great blessing to be chosen and used. They were then considered an “unconditional” which meant their life was not their own and all choices would be made by the Apostle, including who they would eventually marry. However, even after marriage, the SA would not end. It wasn’t until Sochil’s husband rang the alarm that what was happening was not ok, that Sochil realized her adolescence was a horrible lie. Sochil then went on to help put some of the leadership in jail which will be covered in a livestream with her. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind Sochil on social media:IG:  @sochilmartin.healing Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro 00:04:56 La luz del mundo00:18:51 Sochil's upbringing00:28:32 The draw of the church00:39:12 What unconditional means in LDM00:47:36 CW: Mentions of ED00:58:48 How Sochil was paired with her husband01:11:26 Sochil's husband finds out what's going on 01:17:34 Trying to warn parents to no avail01:23:22 Linda, ListenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Born into the Church of Immortal Consciousness, Danny Rensch spent his childhood navigating the isolated confines of a cult. Despite psychological manipulation, physical abuse, and neglect, he persevered. An international chess master and world-class commentator, Rensch’s remarkable journey led him to being the face of Chess.com, one of the largest online gaming platforms in the world. Rensch recounts his life, starting from the moment he discovered chess in the summer of 1995, all the way up to being at the center of the most explosive cheating scandal in chess history.  He chronicles the traumas of being “special” in a cult that forced separation from his mother. Mentored by an alcohol*c, Russian chess master, he found solace alongside suffer*ng in his obsession for an ancient game, and chess became his only escape. Rensch rose through the chess ranks until a medical emergency nearly took him out of the game forever. And it almost did, until Chess.com came along.Deeply heartfelt, keenly reflective, and haunting, today Danny dives further into the details of his book, Dark Squares, and the never-before-told story of Danny Rensch’s resilience, survival, and his enduring love for the game that saved him. Click here to watch on YouTubeDanny's Book Amazon: Dark SquaresFollow Danny on Social Media!IG: @dannyrensch Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:04:54 Background on the Church of Immortal Consciousness00:10:53 Danny's chiIdhood & his parents' relationship00:20:43 First experiences with chess00:25:52 When chess started taking off for Danny00:29:31 Danny's relationship with his mentor, Igor00:33:29 Being given his spiritual purpose to play chess00:39:54 Connections to the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer00:44:49 Sacrificing the relationship with his mother00:54:48 Balancing intuition and belief01:00:39 Living two lives01:07:46 Medical issues & turning to subst*nces01:18:46 The hero of Danny's story01:25:58 Overcoming the mysoginy taught by the cult01:30:48 Founding Chess.com01:38:47 Triggering moments from the Queen's Gambit01:43:00 Danny's life now01:47:24 Full circle moment with Searching for Bobby Fischer01:51:53 Danny's Linda ListenSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mandi Pagliarini was put into a recovery program at 15 yrs old and would quickly be handed over to multiple predators by the leader until she left at 22. She realized years later that not all forms of abuse feel the same, and has dedicated her work to teaching parents how to speak to their children and teens to help keep them safe. Every parent should have these important conversations at age appropriate times and Mandi is here to discuss the ways to do that. Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch Mandi's initial interview hereFind and Support Mandi!IG @mandiptalkspredators https://www.instagram.com/mandiptalkspredators/Substack: https://mandiptalkspredators.substack.com/https://linktr.ee/mandipagliariniSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sarah Hartshorne gives the exposé on what REALLY happened on one of the hottest reality tv shows of its time, America’s Next Top Model. We did a deep dive interview with her, but today we focus in on some of the more disturbing parts of her time on Season 9 including waiving their rights to a camera free shower. Girls had no choice but to be moldable clay when it came to their identity, looks and sometimes their name. Even when a look change was the choice of production, they were sometimes judged and mocked for it later in the show. Identities, self esteem and boundaries crumbled all for the hope of making it to “the top”.Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch her full interview hereFind Sarah!Book: You Wanna Be on Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top ModelWebsite: https://www.sarahbhartshorne.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbhartshorne/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

(CW: Mentions of Eating Disorder) Sarah Hartshorne, a fan favorite America’s Next Top Model contestant pulls back the curtain on the iconic but deeply flawed reality competition show, exposing the manipulation and chaos behind the scenes. Tyra Banks’s America’s Next Top Model was a cultural phenomenon with more than six million weekly viewers at its peak. Over its fifteen-year run, the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out-of-touch judges. But as its fans have grown up and as the next generation discovers ANTM, they’ve also begun to reckon with the enduring ways that the show has affected their body image and self-esteem.Sarah Hartshorne would have never guessed that her first foray into modeling would start with being blindfolded alongside three dozen other girls on a charter bus winding through Puerto Rico. Cycle 9’s only plus-size contestant takes us into the heart of the unforgiving auditions; the labyrinthian cruise ship the girls weren’t allowed to enjoy; and, of course, the L.A. “model house” teeming with hidden cameras and elaborately constructed tensions. As the season unfolds and the producers’ interview questions about her weight and her opinions of the other girls become increasingly pointed, Hartshorne uncovers the destabilizing methods employed to film “reality.”  Why didn’t the house have a microwave or a dishwasher? Why did girls regularly faint during eliminations? Why is it that the girls had their most meaningful conversations in closets? Sarah Hartshorne dissects the iconic show.Click here to watch on YouTubeFind Sarah!Book: You Wanna Be on Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top ModelWebsite: https://www.sarahbhartshorne.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarahbhartshorne/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

CHAPTER MARKS NOT AVAILABLEMandi Pagliarini was thrown into Alcoholics Anonymous as a teen when her parents caught her drinking, and overreacted. She was lured into loving summer boarding camps with cute boys and fun activities, so immediately following high school graduation, the thought of being full time boarded with the group sounded fun and necessary for her health. Unfortunately, a bait and switch quickly happened when she realized that in this particular group, all sponsors and authority lead directly to the man at the top named Mike. He started micromanaging every single aspect of their lives including specific diets, where they went and even, who he thought they should be sleeping with. Young teens were given to 30+ year old men for “their own good” and this included Mike himself who was in his 50s. If compliance was not given, they were berated in front of the whole group. Mandi’s parents were still under the impression that she needed to be there, even though she had nothing close to resembling alcoholism, so she was left feeling alone and afraid of the outside world. After attempting to leave twice, it finally stuck and after drastically overcorrecting, she found her way. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind and Support Mandi!IG @mandiptalkspredators Substack: https://mandiptalkspredators.substack.com/Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today Shelise takes the hot seat to be interviewed by husband and co-producer Jonathan Rosales. A brief discussion about Mormonism and the various shapes it can take in people’s lives gives more context to why Shelise feels it is a cult/high control group. They discuss the light hearted aspects of leaving the cult bubble such as being out of the loop with pop culture. Then, for the first time, Shelise goes into depth about the CSA from her past and how it not only affects her daily life, but her life as a host who platforms other trauma survivors. Other hardships with running the channel while going through intense personal challenges are spoken of in detail which leads them to extreme gratitude for their audience and community who has gathered to support their guests and the cause. Click here to watch on YouTubeSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**Chapter Marks00:00:00 Intro00:05:08 Why Shelise feels she's a Cult Survivor, having left Mormonism00:11:22 Does Shelise feel more "connected" to society now that she's more caught up on pop culture?00:18:36 What it feels like for Shelise to be Agnostic00:22:21 Did Shelise ever think she would interview Cult Survivors for a living?00:28:27 How Shelise handles the trauma offload from hosting interviews each week?00:30:59 Shelise discusses the ab*se she experienced from her father00:34:18 What's it been like for Jonathan having to be a container for Shelise00:34:40 Moments Shelise broke down after conducting interviews00:39:52 Does Shelise have a relationship with her father now?00:51:30 Confronting the ab*se from Shelise's father, now that Shelise & Jonathan have a daughter00:54:55 Shelise & Jonathan discuss their m*scarriage01:02:25 Being pregnant while interviewing Cult Survivors01:04:13 Jonathan on producing Cults to Consciousness01:10:28 Did Jonathan feel they would be successful in the beginning?01:13:10 The time Shelise had psychic readings done01:17:35 Jonathan & Shelise on filming their own documentary01:23:23 C2C Officially launches Channel Memberships!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carah Burrell and Ryan Fisher have continued to cover the Tim Ballard scandal since it was leaked two years ago that he had plans to become the new LDS prophet and take over the government through white nationalism. He was using his “connections” with the now deceased apostle Ballard (no relation) to bolster his cause at Operation Underground Railroad, which evidence has now suggested it was all a ruse, including allegedly luring women into SA situations by Tim during their “raids”. The LDS church responded swiftly with an ex-communication, severing his membership and ego. He has since been trying to appeal that decision multiple times, however, simultaneously alleging that the LDS church is full of Satanic Ritual ab*se of children and denouncing leadership. Click here to watch on YouTubeFind and Support Carah and Ryan:Carah's YT: https://www.youtube.com/@CarahBurrellCarah's LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/nuancehoeThe LATEST Video on Tim: https://youtu.be/q3F-lBMaGw4?si=pEkCtD9k_bdGX5lu Original interview on Last Dispensation:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knWZW93jvjkJulie Green Rant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yTBLjtbwbADonorbox: https://donorbox.org/thanks-for-the-amazing-content-carah-let-me-help-you-keep-it-fundedVenmo: CarahB: https://account.venmo.com/u/CarahB Patreon exclusives: https://tinyurl.com/3r2jurckLet's get in touch! timmydidwhatpodcast@gmail.com or thenuancehoe@gmail.comRyan's Info!Substack: https://ryanfisherak78.substack.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/ryanfisherak78/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NephiteExplorerSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Following our incredible interview with Rosei Quartz, today we go LIVE with her to further discuss her time with her threatening Adventist husband. Rosei was born a Seventh-Day Adventist where her father eventually became a charismatic and highly performative pastor in the church. She attended private Adventist schools and was constantly the center of her father’s fake sermons. Rosei’s mother got chronically ill and was ignored, being told her symptoms were made up for attention. She ended up passing suspiciously and Rosei’s father was married again 4 months later. Rosei ended up in an Adventist marriage which ended up being extremely toxic. Upon asking for a divorce, she was called a witch and even “hexed her husband with COVlD”. He then threatened to disappear her into Adventist conversion therapy if she tried to leave. Escaping and fearing for her life, she frantically grew a social media following in hopes it would protect her.Click here to watch on YouTubeWatch the intiial interview with RoseiFind Rosei on social media:Twitch: twitch.tv/roseiquartzIG: @roseiquartzofficial  Discord:  https://discord.gg/MZqsvXUZHNTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@roseiquartzSubscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel!Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast.Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here!Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousnessVenmo @sheliseannFind us on Social media!Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.