Better Gay Dating

We often talk about spotting red flags in gay dating, but what about the green ones? In this episode I do a deep dive on the fundamental green flags that show someone is ready for a stable, loving connection with others.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating  

Shame isn't always fun to talk about, but it's a powerful and often unrecognized force that impacts why dating in our community is like it is. So in this episode, we'll look at the subtle ways shame often shows up in gay dating — and how we can heal it to build stronger connections.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://medium.com/@rahimthawer/sexuality-and-the-imprint-of-shame-what-queer-guys-and-their-therapists-need-to-know-part-1-3-4e5bd7caeca7 [2] https://sk.sagepub.com/ency/edvol/socialpsychology/chpt/selfverification-theory [3] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49418.The_Velvet_Rage

Ghosting kind of sucks. But statistically, most of us have been ghosted *and* we've ghosted someone else. So what can we do to break this cycle and create a culture of clearer and kinder communication in gay dating?   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://medium.com/@hingeapp/ghosting-d3248b07bc5f [2] https://www.science.org/content/article/rejection-pain-brain

So yeah, I get asked about my personal life from time to time. In this episode, I wanted to talk a bit about what my life looks like right now, but also about how we often think about singlehood — because there's a lot to unpack there too.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

Most of us have been there — we stuck it out with someone who definitely wasn't right for us. But why do we choose partners who aren't right for us? And how do we choose better?   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating  

In this episode I peel back the curtain on how gay relationship coaching works, what we actually do in the sessions, and how it'll transform the way you think about making connections in this community. If you're curious about working with a relationship coach, this deep dive is for you.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

For more than 80 years, researchers at Harvard have studied what makes us truly happy. Here's what they found — and what it means for us as queer men.   Find out more about "The Good Life": https://the-good-life-book.com I read the European edition which was published in 2025 but the first edition (with a different cover) was published in the US in 2023.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] Waldinger & Schultz: The Good Life, 10 [2] https://www.vice.com/en/article/how-many-close-friends-do-you-actually-need-science-says-theres-a-number/ [3] The Good Life, 28 [4] The Good Life, 44 [5] The Good Life, 48  [6] The Good Life, 49 [7] The Good Life, 258

If you're kind of over the apps right now... you're not alone. Here's your in-depth guide to making great new connections in person — where to do it, how to do it, and why it often leads to deeper connections 🌈   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

Sometimes gay men believe all kinds of crazy sh*t about our relationships — and ourselves 🤷‍♀️ Let's unpack what's going on here and how we can think about things differently.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources:  [1] https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/01/04/toxic-relationships-often-begin-with-the-spark-go-for-this-instead/71991437007/ [2] https://www.reddit.com/r/AskGaybrosOver30/comments/11o2p3b/anyone_ever_found_their_long_partner_after_40/ (Thanks to all the Reddit users who shared their stories on this post!) [3] https://econtent.hogrefe.com/doi/abs/10.1027/1016-9040/a000259 

In this episode, I wanted to talk about my background as a musician, how I became a coach, and what it all means for me today. Oh, and about the time I played the piano for Ian McKellen. It's a window into my unconventional, creative and occasionally wild life, and how it somehow all ties neatly together.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

As gay men, it can feel like sex is the thing we're always supposed to prioritize, even at the expense of our emotional or other needs. But what if there are ways to balance all of our needs in ways that feel fun AND fulfilling?   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/best-practices-in-health/202503/new-evidence-that-were-wired-for-connection [2] Walt Odets, "Out of the Shadows: The Psychology of Gay Men's Lives" (Penguin, 2019)

Lots of gay men deeply want love and connection. But after years of armoring up, it can be really difficult to let that love in. Let's talk about what's going on here — and what we can do about it. Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating Sources: [1] https://www.science.org/content/article/rejection-pain-brain [2] https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/gay-loneliness/ [3] https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response [4] https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-does-fight-flight-freeze-fawn-mean [5] https://www.verywellmind.com/window-of-tolerance-7553021 

One of the most important skills in dating is discernment — recognizing how is and isn't a good match for you. In this episode, I break down the three essential things to consider when you're trying to figure out how much romantic potential you have with someone. Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

If you're like most gay men, you might have a love-hate relationship with the apps. Or maybe they just aren't for you. In this episode, we take an unfiltered look at why that is — and exactly what you can do to make more meaningful connections, online or off.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1]  https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/31/well/mind/burnout-online-dating-apps.html [2] https://www.thepinknews.com/2019/02/12/lgbt-online-dating-study/ [3] https://www.psypost.org/physical-attractiveness-far-outweighs-other-traits-in-online-dating-success/ [4] https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps,  https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a [5] https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/economics/the-paradox-of-choice

In a world of too many options, it can be hard to connect with what you truly want in your close relationships. In this week's episode, we explore how to bring more purpose and intention to your dating life — and why it changes everything. Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.net/bettergaydating

Why *is* dating so hard for gay and bi men? Well, there are a handful of reasons... but most of them come down to these three fundamentals.   For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Buy my book: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb To support the show and keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.net/bettergaydating

Hey, I'm Ed 👋 I'm a dating and relationship coach for gay and bi men, and talking about how we can find more love and connection in our community is my jam. If you're new to what I do, this quick episode shares a bit about who I am, why I started this podcast, and what you can expect from future episodes.   === For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com  Buy my book: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb  To support the show and keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast  Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.net/bettergaydating Sources: [1] https://www.weforum.org/videos/harvard-conducted-an-85-year-study-on-happiness-here-s-what-it-found/ https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/10/85-year-harvard-study-found-the-secret-to-a-long-happy-and-successful-life.html