Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

If overwhelm has become your constant companion - the thing you wake up with, carry through your day, and fall asleep thinking about - your well-being is trying to tell you something. In this episode, we’re unpacking why happiness can feel so far away when stress keeps running the show, and how you can manage what’s on your plate without sacrificing yourself in the process. If you’re longing to feel happier, love yourself more deeply, and finally declutter the parts of your life that feel too heavy, you are absolutely in the right place! My guest, author and Afro-minimalist Christine Platt (Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom From a Life of Overwhelm), shares how her “normal” busy life quietly turned into a health crisis, and how she began seeing overwhelm as her body’s way of saying, Hey, one of your wells is empty. We talk about the five foundations of wellness (your “personal wells”), the emotional labor and mental load so many women carry, and how learning to declutter your stuff, your schedule, and your beliefs can help you manage stress more wisely and reconnect with a sense of happiness in your daily life. We also get into the messy real-world pieces: overwhelm by circumstance (divorce, money, kids, career), people-pleasing, the guilt around saying no, and why so many of us overbuy and hang onto clutter “just in case.” As you listen, notice: Which of your wells has been running low? What are you still trying to prove by doing so much? And what would “less” need to look like for your life to feel more like your life again? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Constant Overwhelm and Stress: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You 03:03 Chronic Overwhelm and Hypertension: When Stress Becomes a Health Crisis 05:51 Five Foundations of Wellness: The “Personal Wells” Framework 09:45 Emotional Labor and Mental Load: Why Women Feel So Overwhelmed 12:30 Minimalism as Liberation: Living With Less to Reduce Overwhelm 16:06 Time Scarcity and Productivity: Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Overwhelmed 18:29 Messengers and Limiting Beliefs: Redefining “Selfish” Self-Care 25:32 Overwhelmed by Circumstance: Divorce, Scarcity, and Minimalism by Necessity 32:26 Psychology of Ownership: Why We Overbuy, Hoard, and Accumulate Clutter 42:51 Inner Work Before Decluttering: Healing People-Pleasing and Attachment to Stuff 48:47 Filling Your Wells: Daily Practices for Sustainable Wellness and Well-Being If you’re living in that constant state of overwhelm, please know you don’t have to sort this out on your own. At Growing Self, you can talk with someone about what’s really happening - the stress, the burnout, the clutter on the outside and the inside - and get matched with a therapist or coach who truly understands what you’re carrying. Schedule a consultation today! You deserve a life that feels lighter and more intentional, where you can manage stress wisely, feel happier in your day-to-day reality, and genuinely love yourself in how you care for your time, your space, and your emotional well-being. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Wondering if your mother-in-law is just “a lot,” or if you’re actually dealing with a truly toxic mother-in-law situation? You are so not the only one lying awake replaying her comments and wondering what to do when this relationship feels way too involved in your marriage and family. In this episode, we’re talking about how a toxic mother-in-law dynamic starts to erode your sense of safety at home. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author of You, Your Husband and His Mother - joins me to talk honestly about what happens when your partner is still emotionally tied to his mom, you’re trying to build a healthy new family, and you keep getting caught in the middle. We look at why some moms struggle to let go, why so many women end up over-functioning for everyone, and why so many men freeze or minimize when it’s time to set boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law… and then we talk about what you can do: becoming a united “vault” as a couple, setting real boundaries instead of endless “requests,” and getting clear on your options when the dynamic with your mother-in-law is starting to feel unbearable. Here’s how we walk through it together: 00:00 Why Mother-in-Law Conflicts Hurt Communication and Connection 03:14 Dr. Tracy’s Story and Why She Wrote “You, Your Husband and His Mother” 05:24 Mother–Son Bonds, Gender Roles, and the Roots of Toxic Mother-in-Law Dynamics 11:03 Unhealthy Family Patterns: Control, Enmeshment, and Emotional Caretaking of Mom 20:56 Overfunctioning Wives, Underfunctioning Husbands, and the Mother–Child Dynamic 24:39 The VAULT Method: Becoming a United Couple and Setting Boundaries with In-Laws 30:48 Requests vs Boundaries: What Really Works with a Toxic Mother-in-Law 51:41 Change, Accept, or Leave: Your Choices in a Toxic Mother-in-Law Situation If this stirs up a very specific conversation with your partner (or a replay of your last holiday with his mom) and your chest tightens a little, I have something for exactly that moment. My Communication That Connects training walks you through the evidence-based do’s and don’ts of communication that actually creates understanding instead of more defensiveness and hurt. I’ll help you get clear about the real issues under your fights, give you a framework you can start using right away with your partner, and walk you step-by-step through how to have hard conversations in a way that protects your emotional bond instead of tearing it down. And if you’re at the point where you’re thinking, “I don’t want to keep holding this all together by myself,” I would be genuinely honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can privately tell us what’s going on with your marriage, your mother-in-law, your family, and we’ll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a simple, secure way to raise your hand and say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with, please point me to the right person.” You can start that process anytime by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a family life that feels safe, sane, and loving, even if your extended family is… a lot. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If your relationship is stuck in a painful communication breakdown, I want you to know you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m sharing how the right solution-focused therapy techniques can start shifting the energy between you, even if things feel really bad right now. I’m joined by solution-focused brief psychotherapist and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, Elliott Connie, and we’re talking about why endlessly analyzing what went wrong rarely creates the change you’re craving. Instead, we look at how hope, better questions, and small, intentional acts of love can reopen doors that you were pretty sure were slammed shut: from a “hopeless” divorced couple who ended up with ten beautiful years of remarried life, to the quiet experiment of really studying your partner and giving them more of what you know makes them feel loved. Along the way, we wrestle with the hard stuff too: blame, “I’m the victim here,” boundaries vs. checking out, and whether you’re people-pleasing or simply showing up as the kind of partner you want to be. As you listen, I’d love for you to ask yourself: If hope came back into this relationship, what would actually be different between us? And who do I want to be in that story? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Relationships Really Fail: Losing Hope, Not Love 01:19 Solution-Focused Therapy vs Traditional Couples Counseling 06:03 Insight vs Healing: Why Understanding the Problem Won’t Fix Your Relationship 10:48 How Hope Heals Relationships: The Most Important Ingredient in Change 15:36 Court-Ordered Co-Parents to Remarried: Elliot Connie’s “Finding Nemo” Case Study 22:19 Ending the Blame Game: Taking Personal Responsibility in Marriage Conflicts 27:09 Try This Tonight: Small Acts of Love That Rebuild Emotional Connection 32:02 Is Your Partner Reciprocating? How to Read the Signs and What to Do Next 34:23 Change Your Questions, Change Your Future in Love and Relationships 36:51 Making Your Partner’s Happiness Your Job Without Losing Yourself 41:35 People-Pleasing, Boundaries, and Knowing When a Relationship Is Unhealthy 44:54 How to Get More Help for Your Relationship and Personal Growth If this conversation is bringing a particular argument or painful cycle to mind and you can feel your body tense up at the thought of talking about it, I created something to walk alongside you. My Communication That Connects training is where I take you deeper into the heart of this work: the real issues that drive conflict, the evidence-based do’s and don’ts of communication that creates connection instead of distance, and a clear framework you can start using with your partner right away.  And if you’re at the point where you’re thinking, “We cannot keep doing this by ourselves,” I would be truly honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what’s going on, what you’ve already tried, and what you’re hoping for, and we’ll thoughtfully connect you with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a private, secure way to say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through this with you, step by step. You can begin that process by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a relationship where hard conversations are survivable, you feel heard and cherished, and love feels like a safe place to land. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll finally relax when my relationship is better, my house is cleaner, my body looks different, my career is farther along,” this conversation is for you and me both. As we step into the holiday season - a time that invites reflection, gratitude, and sometimes a little extra pressure - I’m revisiting this episode because the message is timeless. We’re talking about cultivating contentment in the life you actually have, not some upgraded future version of it, and how to feel more at peace inside yourself without giving up your dreams, your drive, or your big, beautiful goals. We’ll look at the difference between quick hits of happiness and that steadier “all is well in my world” feeling, the paradox of being an ambitious human who also wants to enjoy today, and some very practical ways to take inventory of your life, question old beliefs about worth and achievement, and stop outsourcing your emotional climate to your circumstances. As you listen, I’d love for you to consider: What have you been making your happiness conditional on? And what might change if today, messy and imperfect as it is, actually counted as a good life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction to Contentment 04:24 The Pursuit of Happiness vs. Contentment 10:56 Understanding Contentment 20:36 The Paradox of Growth and Contentment 22:29 Taking Inventory for Contentment 29:17 Exploring Core Beliefs and Values 32:55 The Impact of Negative Thinking 37:10 Contentment and Happiness 40:37 The Illusion of Circumstantial Happiness 46:20 The Journey of Personal Growth 52:32 Finding Joy in the Process of Life If you’re noticing how long you’ve been living in “when things are different, then I’ll be okay,” and you’d like a thoughtful partner while you practice something healthier, I’d love to connect with you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team; it’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s really been going on in your world and what you’re hoping will feel different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more free to enjoy the life you’re in while you grow into what’s next. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This time of year brings a lot of togetherness… and with it, a lot of unspoken tension. Difficult conversations are the ones you rehearse in your mind or hold back during holiday dinners, worried that saying the wrong thing could create a rift you can’t repair. That’s why I’m re-releasing this episode on how to have difficult conversations in a way that protects your relationship (and often deepens it) instead of pushing you further apart. We’ll talk about why we either avoid hard topics until resentment leaks out, or bring them up in a burst of anger and criticism, and how both patterns wear down trust over time. You’ll learn what it actually takes to do this differently: managing emotional flooding, getting honest with yourself before you speak, knowing when a conversation is worth having (and when it’s time to set a firm boundary), and shifting the goal from “winning” to mutual understanding so you can stay connected even when you don’t agree. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Navigating Difficult Conversations 06:07 Emotional Intelligence & Self-Regulation 17:49 When to Set Boundaries and Walk Away 21:00 Growth Through Discomfort 27:05 Preparing for Hard Conversations 29:53 Seeing Through Others’ Eyes 36:08 Handling Polarized Views 42:09 Reciprocity & Healthy Relationships If this episode brings a specific conversation to mind and your stomach flips a little just thinking about it, I have a resource to support you. My Communication That Connects free training takes you deeper into the skills we cover here - practical do’s and don'ts for communication that creates understanding, plus real examples you can use with your partner right away. You’ll also receive a full workbook with lessons, activities, and homework to help you get to the root of conflict, calm reactive patterns, and build a more emotionally safe connection.  And if you’re at the point where you don’t want to keep doing this alone, I’d be honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what’s going on in your life and relationships, and we’ll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a simple, private way to say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through it with you. Start that process here: schedule a consultation. You deserve relationships where you can say the hard things, feel truly heard, and still feel loved at the end of the day. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

AI has woven itself into our daily lives so quietly and so quickly that many of us don’t even realize how emotionally attached we’re becoming to it... and your AI chatbot might be destroying the way you connect & communicate in your relationships in real life. My guest, Dr. Rachel Wood, a licensed counselor with a PhD in cyberpsychology, helps us make sense of why AI feels so safe, so comforting, and in some cases so intimate, and what it means for our real relationships when a chatbot becomes the place we go to feel understood. We talk about the very real appeal of an AI companion that never gets tired, never gets defensive, and always seems to “get” you. And we also talk about the moments when that dynamic crosses into something unhealthy: when an omnibot becomes your therapist, your best friend, your partner, and your decision-maker… all at once. Rachel shares examples of how dependency forms, how delusions can develop, and why our relational and cognitive “muscles” matter more than ever in this new landscape. This conversation isn’t anti-AI. It’s about staying awake, staying human, and staying connected to ourselves and to each other while we navigate a technology that is becoming surprisingly personal. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How AI Is Changing Human Relationships 09:20 The Spectrum of AI Relationships 20:18 Cognitive Offloading and Its Real-World Consequences 27:31 Using AI for Growth Without Losing Agency 32:59 When AI Becomes a Dependency 37:07 The Dangers of AI Escalation: A Suicidality Case Study 43:03 AI in Therapy: Tool or Replacement? 51:16 How to Support Someone Attached to Their AI If you’re listening to this and realizing you may be leaning on AI a little more than feels good, or maybe you’re worried about someone you love, please know you’re not alone. These are tender places, and they deserve real, caring support. If you’d like a safe space to sort through what’s coming up for you, or if you’re craving more connection and clarity in your relationships, I’d love to help you get started. You can schedule a consultation with me or someone on my team. Tell us what’s on your heart and what you’re hoping for. We’ll help you get matched with the right support so you can feel steady, understood, and empowered again. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

The holiday season is so challenging when you’re dealing with relationship loss. That’s why I am re-releasing this episode on how to manage a breakup or divorce through the holiday season. This time of year can stir up old feelings, magnify loss, and make you question whether you’ll ever feel like yourself again - and that’s exactly why this conversation still matters. It can feel especially brutal when you’re going through a breakup over the holidays. Everyone else is in goofy sweaters and twinkle lights, and you’re just trying to get through the day without crying in the bathroom. In this episode, I’m talking with you about why you still feel hooked on your ex (even if you know the relationship needed to end), how love can function like an addiction in your brain, and why this season tends to rip everything wide open emotionally. I walk you through the stages of healing after a breakup - from that torturous ambivalence where part of you is still hoping, to the grief of finally letting go, to the anger, guilt, and self-doubt that can sneak up on you later - and then into rebuilding your self-esteem, finding some inner peace, and eventually growing into a wiser, stronger version of yourself. As you listen, I want you to be gently asking yourself, Where am I in this process? What do I actually need right now: space, support, boundaries, or a little nudge back into life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Coping with Loss During the Holidays 10:15 Understanding the Emotional Impact of Breakups 16:33 Navigating the Stages of Healing 18:34 The Ambivalence Stage: Letting Go 22:15 Emotional Freedom: Grieving and Moving On 28:01 Rebuilding Self-Esteem After a Breakup 31:15 Finding Inner Peace and Moving Forward 34:29 Growth: Learning from the Experience If you’re listening to this and thinking, I can’t do this by myself anymore, I would be truly honored to support you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure place to tell us what’s been going on for you - the grief, the intrusive thoughts about your ex, the way the holidays are stirring everything back up - and we’ll help you get matched with the right expert so you don’t have to figure this out alone. Thousands of people have used this first step to begin healing their hearts and rebuilding their lives, and you can too. If your heart is saying, I’m ready for some real support, consider this my personal invitation to reach out. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Let’s get honest for a second. Porn addiction isn’t really about sex. It’s about connection… about loneliness, shame, and the ache to feel close to something when life feels empty or overwhelming. My guest for this episode, Sathiya Sam, knows that pain deeply. After a 15-year struggle with porn addiction, he rebuilt his life and now helps others do the same through his Deep Clean program - a compassionate, science-meets-spirituality approach that helps people stop using porn and start building real connection again. We’re talking about what really drives addiction, the role of purpose and community in recovery, how to protect kids in this new digital world, and what AI “relationships” mean for the future of intimacy. It’s a deep, human conversation about healing, hope, and the real work of reclaiming yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Porn Addiction Is About Connection, Not Willpower 01:17 Sathiya Sam’s Recovery Story and Deep Clean Method 07:21 Purpose, Boredom, and the Root Causes of Porn Use 13:44 Protecting Kids From Early Exposure 18:24 AI, Loneliness, and Synthetic Intimacy 30:11 Healing Through Community and Real Connection 34:32 Why Your Partner Shouldn’t Be Your Accountability Partner 39:34 First Steps to Quit Porn for Good Sometimes the hardest part is admitting you need a little help, and the bravest thing you can do is take that first step. If you’re ready to start your own growth and healing journey, you can get support from Sathiya here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/growing-self. Let them know Dr. Lisa sent you! ❤️ You don’t have to carry this by yourself. Real change is possible… and it starts with connection. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self P.S. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what ideas you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going!

What if the guilt you’ve been trying to shake is a guiding light for better relationships? We spend so much energy trying not to feel guilty, about losing our temper, missing a call, falling short in some way, but guilt isn’t proof that you’re broken. It’s proof that you care. In this episode, I talk with psychologist Dr. Chris Moore about how guilt can actually help you heal your relationships, reconnect with your empathy, and live in alignment with your values. Here’s a peek at what we cover: 00:00 Guilt Is Good: Why Feeling Guilty Can Heal Relationships 01:54 The Guilt Cocktail: Empathy, Anxiety, and Self-Anger 08:24 Guilt vs. Shame: How to Tell the Difference 13:43 Turning Guilt Into Repair: Apology and Forgiveness 16:48 When You Can’t Fix It: Guilt, Grief, and Self-Forgiveness 23:27 Moral Injury, Trauma, and Survivor Guilt 28:37 Chronic Guilt: Why Women Feel It More 33:12 How to Reframe Guilt and Use It as a Guide 41:13 Guilt Means You Care If something in this conversation stirred your heart, maybe an old regret or a relationship you’d love to mend, you don’t have to sort through it alone. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It’s a warm, private space to talk about what’s been weighing on you, get help managing guilt in a healthy way, and start moving forward with self-forgiveness and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever said yes when every part of you was quietly screaming no? Or pushed through your day on fumes, wondering where your energy went? We’ve all been there - doing a million things that look productive but leave us totally drained. In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Diana Hill about how to reclaim your energy and focus by using them wisely. Diana’s new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, is about learning to tell the difference between what fuels you and what quietly burns you out. We get into how to recognize “unwise effort” - those moments when you’re forcing, overdoing, or holding on too tight - and how to reconnect with your genius energy, that natural flow that feels effortless and alive. She also shares simple ways to check in with yourself: a 24-hour “regret scan” to see where your energy went off-track, and four questions to help you decide what’s actually worth your time, attention, and heart. It’s all about being intentional, not perfect, and remembering that the most powerful thing you can do is choose where your energy goes. As you listen, notice where your energy feels pulled, and what choices leave you feeling lighter, freer, more yourself. What are you still holding on to that’s quietly exhausting you? And what would it look like to let that go? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is Wise Effort and Why Energy Matters 02:50 Three Patterns That Drain Your Energy 07:04 Finding Your Genius Energy 11:04 Regret as a Compass for Wise Energy 22:00 The Four-Question Filter for Wise Decisions 29:39 How Relationships Affect Your Energy 42:30 Reclaiming Energy and Focus Through Wise Effort If you’ve been feeling scattered or depleted, this may be your moment to pause and realign. Working with one of our expert therapists or coaches can help you understand where your energy and focus are going - and guide you toward choices that feel more grounded, intentional, and restorative. Schedule your free consultation to start creating the balance you’ve been craving. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever asked yourself, “When does ‘my money’ become ‘our money’?” It’s one of those questions couples don’t really face until tension starts to build. And by then, it’s rarely about the dollars. It’s about fairness, power, and feeling seen. In this episode, I’m joined by Heather and Douglas Boneparth, the power couple behind Bone Fide Wealth Management, and co-authors of their new book, Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team. We talk about what really happens when love meets money - the unspoken expectations, the invisible labor, and the stories we tell ourselves about who’s “earning” more or contributing “enough.” Heather and Douglas share their own wake-up moment during the pandemic, when their careers and family roles shifted and resentment started creeping in. We explore what it means to honor each other’s time as a form of currency, how to rebuild balance when things feel uneven, and why fairness doesn’t always mean splitting everything 50/50. As you listen, think about what fairness looks like in your relationship. How do you value each other’s time, effort, and care? And what might change if you started talking about money as a shared story instead of a scoreboard? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 When Does My Money Become Our Money? 01:03 Why Couples Fight About Money 08:39 Time Is a Currency 15:29 From “Me” to “We” 21:24 Mistakes vs. Missteps 23:56 Different Definitions of “Enough” 28:12 “My Money” vs. “Our Money” 39:09 Practical Playbook: Money Dates & Goal Alignment 44:45 Case Study: Inheritance & Grief 51:03 When to Seek Financial Therapy for Couples There's a ton of great information in this podcast AND it’s also true that talking about money and creating agreement in your financial relationship can be very tricky for many couples. You don't have to go it alone. One of the things my practice is known for is financial therapy for couples, specifically. If this is a current pain point in your relationship, I hope you get in touch with us and allow us to guide you through the process of creating alignment around all parts of your life, including financials. Here’s the link to learn more, and set up a free consultation. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

How much of what you do every day is really your choice? The food you crave, the shows you watch, the moods you slip into - so much of it is quietly being shaped by invisible influences you probably never notice. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Tatyana El-Kour, a psychologist and registered dietitian who studies how media and technology shape our behavior. She shares how algorithms learn our emotional rhythms - what time of day we’re vulnerable, what kind of content keeps us scrolling - and use that data to steer our choices. We also explore something just as powerful: the invisible influence inside us. Your gut microbiome doesn’t just affect digestion. It can shape your emotions, focus, and even your resilience. This conversation left me thinking deeply about how easily we’re guided by forces we can’t see and how much freedom comes from noticing them. Once you recognize what’s pulling the strings, you can start reclaiming your power, one intentional choice at a time. As you listen, ask yourself: When do I feel most on autopilot? What’s really driving my decisions in those moments? And what would it look like to start choosing differently? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Hidden Power of Invisible Influence 02:00 How Algorithms Shape Your Choices and Emotions 09:30 Emotional Tracking and Predictive Technology 13:30 When Digital Nudges Impact Health and Body Image 18:00 The Psychology Behind Algorithmic Addiction 29:00 Echo Chambers, Polarization, and Cognitive Rigidity 38:00 How to Recognize and Resist Invisible Influence 43:15 The Gut-Brain Connection and Emotional Resilience 55:00 Reclaiming Awareness and Agency If you’re curious about the invisible forces shaping your path, I made something to help you look beneath the surface. My What’s Holding You Back? Quiz is a short, thoughtful tool to help you see what might be standing between you and your next breakthrough. Think of it as a little mirror for your inner world - gentle, honest, and surprisingly clarifying. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. I share new insights (and sometimes a few behind-the-scenes thoughts) every week. And I’d really love to know what this episode stirred up for you. I always love hearing your takeaways so let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

When trust is broken, everything changes. The person who once felt like your safest place can suddenly feel like a stranger, and finding your way back can feel impossible. In this episode, I’m joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, speakers, and authors of Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. After a devastating betrayal early in their marriage, they did the hard, courageous work of rebuilding honesty, safety, and connection - not just for themselves, but now for the couples they help heal. We talk about what partner betrayal trauma really looks like, why “just move on” never works, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. From understanding trauma’s impact on your nervous system to creating emotional safety and vulnerability again, this is an honest look at how love can truly recover and grow stronger on the other side. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal 01:30 Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith 05:36 The Hidden Addiction and the Moment of Truth 16:20 Beginning the Recovery Journey 27:00 The Reality of Partner Betrayal Trauma 33:20 Why “Just Move On” Doesn’t Work 43:40 How Trauma Healing Actually Happens 49:20 The Blueprint for Rebuilding Trust 58:00 Finding Purpose and True Intimacy 01:00:45 Where to Find Support and Resources What would it mean to feel safe again in your body, in your relationship, or even within yourself? How do we begin to trust when trust has been broken? And if you’re the one who caused harm, how do you face that truth with compassion and courage instead of shame? If this conversation stirs something in you… maybe memories, questions, or a quiet hope that healing is possible… I have a free resource that can help you take the next step. My Communication That Connects Masterclass was designed to help you move beyond pain and misunderstanding, and start building the kind of emotional safety that real repair depends on.  Let’s stay connected - I share more insights, videos, and real talk about love and growth every week on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what questions you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

This episode originally aired on April 5, 2021 (Episode 240), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it gave you the clarity you didn’t know you needed. If you’re feeling stuck in your career or wondering whether there’s something more fulfilling out there for you, this conversation is worth revisiting. So many people come to me at a professional crossroads. On paper, things look fine — good job, steady paycheck — but inside, they’re wrestling with harder questions: Is this what I’m meant to be doing? Where’s the meaning? And what would it actually look like to feel passionate about my work? Finding your passion isn’t about flipping a switch. It’s about understanding how you got here, untangling what’s yours from what you were told to want, and designing a career that aligns with who you are now. In this episode, we’re talking about how to get unstuck, how to reflect with purpose, and how to move forward, even when it feels like there are a thousand possible directions and no clear right answer. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Getting Unstuck When You Have Too Many Options 05:12 Career Crossroads: How to Navigate Paralysis and Indecision 11:08 Life Design vs. Job Search: Shifting How We Think About Career 18:39 Finding Your Passion by Reflecting on the Past 27:26 The “Quarter-Life” Crossroads: Making Sense of How You Got Here 30:12 Burnout or Misalignment? How to Tell the Difference 34:45 The 10-Year Vision Exercise That Brings Long-Term Clarity 36:44 Why Big Career Decisions Shouldn’t Happen During Burnout We cover how early life influences, past roles, and even burnout shape your career path, often without you realizing it. And we’ll help you figure out whether you need a new job or a new perspective on the one you already have. What if you stopped pushing through and started getting curious? What would it feel like to move toward a career that fits you, not just the version of you who started years ago? If you’re feeling ready to find your passion and design a career that actually fits, I’d love to support you as you start taking clear, doable steps. Through my Career Clarity Intensive, you can have clarity and confidence about the right next step for you, how to grow professionally and attain what you really want, and actualize the fullness of your potential in your career! The first step: join me for a free coaching call to design your next chapter. Here’s the link to register. And if you want to keep this conversation going beyond the podcast, come find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’m always sharing tools and insights to help you build a life and career that reflect your values and your worth. And if something from this episode sparked something for you, I’d love to hear how you’re making sense of your path. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home.  Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

You know that feeling when you look around at the news, your job, your relationships, and everything feels a little out of control? Like no matter what you do, it’s never enough to really make a difference? I get it. So many of us are carrying that quiet sense of powerlessness right now. But here’s the thing: you have more influence than you realize. You’ve just never been shown how to use it. In this episode, I’m talking with Cynthia Rivard, business strategist, and author of A New Breed of Leader, about what it truly means to become influential. Not in the “stand at the front of the room” kind of way, but in the real, human way that changes how you show up for yourself, your relationships, and your community. We’re getting into influential leadership as a way of life - how to lead from within, ripple change outward, and shift from helplessness to hope through small, intentional action. This isn’t about being in charge, but about being conscious, compassionate, and brave enough to start where you are. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why We Feel Powerless & How to Become Influential 03:22 Redefining Leadership: Everyday Influence & Micro Leadership 05:05 Ripple Effects: How Small Actions Shape Others 11:28 Building Trust as the Core of Influential Leadership 13:11 Staying Grounded in Conflict & Division 23:52 Compassionate vs. Authoritative Leadership 25:00 Vision and Action: Breaking Free from Inaction 31:45 Overcoming Analysis Paralysis with Micro Actions 39:03 Enrolling Others in Your Vision 43:29 Key Takeaways on Influential Leadership   If you’ve been feeling ready to show up differently in your relationships, your work, or your life, I’d love to support you as you start putting that influence into action. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, supportive space where you can share what’s been on your mind, whether that’s building confidence, finding your voice, or learning how to lead your life with intention. We’ll help you get matched with the right expert so you can move forward feeling clear, encouraged, and hopeful. I’d also love to stay connected beyond the podcast. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share stories, reflections, and gentle reminders to help you stay intentional as you lead your own life. And if something from this conversation really hit home, tell me about it - I’d love to hear how you’re using your influence out in the world. Let’s keep this conversation going! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Some women seem to have it all together. They’re confident, capable, and thriving in their careers. Yet when it comes to love… it’s like they’re playing a game with a whole different rulebook. I’ve talked with so many high-achieving women who can handle anything at work (big goals, big responsibilities, big wins) but still feel unsure or unseen when it comes to real connection. In this episode, I’m sitting down with Hilary Silver, clinical therapist, master coach, and host of the Ready for Love podcast. Hilary and I talk about why strong, successful women so often find themselves repeating the same relationship patterns. We get into how old habits of proving, pleasing, and perfecting the ones that helped you rise so high can quietly start working against you when it comes to love. Hilary shares the three roles she sees most often in high achievers: the Pleaser, the Perfectionist, and the Pusher. Each one starts as a way to stay safe, but over time it builds walls that make closeness harder. We talk about what it really takes to lower those defenses, feel solid in who you are, and let love in without losing yourself in the process. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why High-Achieving Women Struggle in Love 01:29 Hilary Silver’s Journey From Therapy to Coaching 08:08 The Hidden Wounds Behind High Achievement 11:08 Protection Prevents Connection: Pleaser, Perfectionist, Pusher 16:20 How Self-Protection Creates Relationship Difficulties 23:33 The Tree Metaphor for Personal Growth 26:08 Coaching vs. Therapy: Choosing the Right Path 31:08 Transformation Stories and Hope for Authentic Love Now, take a moment to reflect. When do you catch yourself working hard to prove your value in love? What parts of you stay tucked away because you’re afraid they won’t be accepted? And what might happen if you stopped trying to earn love and allowed yourself to receive it instead? I’d love to help you take the next step toward deeper, more authentic connection. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, no-pressure space where you can share what’s been on your mind - whether that’s building self-worth, breaking old patterns, or learning how to open your heart again. We’ll help you find the right support so you can move forward feeling clear, encouraged, and hopeful. Come find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share stories, insights, and gentle reminders every week to help you stay grounded and connected as you grow. And if today’s topic brought up a question or an “aha” moment, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep talking about this - we’re all learning how to love better, together. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

What do you do when someone you love sees the world so differently from you that every conversation feels tense? When your values and beliefs clash so deeply that you start wondering if you can stay close at all? If you’ve ever found yourself in that tension, between wanting to stay connected and wanting to stay true to yourself, you are not alone. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Bill Doherty, a professor, therapist, and co-founder of Braver Angels, about how to navigate hard conversations when politics, cultural influences, or deeply held beliefs divide us. Dr. Doherty shares how the same tools that heal intimate relationships can also strengthen our political communication, especially with the people we care about most. We talk about emotional self-regulation, listening with genuine curiosity, and the courage it takes to connect before you correct. You’ll hear how story and empathy can shift defensiveness into understanding, and how choosing calm over control can keep love alive across even the deepest divides. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction with Dr. Bill Doherty and Braver Angels 02:16 The Origin of Braver Angels Workshops 10:30 Affective Polarization and Its Impact on Relationships 16:07 Media, Social Media, and the Angertainment Industry 21:46 Emotional Regulation and Communication Strategies 30:39 Choosing Whether to Engage or Step Back 32:05 Connect Before You Disagree 37:13 Using “I” Statements and Sharing Personal Stories 42:29 The Stories Behind Our Beliefs 50:21 You Can’t Fight Someone the Same Way When You Know Their Heart Take a moment with me: who in your life do you find hard to talk to about what really matters? What might happen if you stopped trying to convince them and started listening for the experiences that shaped their beliefs? How might that change the way you show up in those moments? If listening today brought up memories of your own hard conversations, especially that ache of wanting to stay close when your differences feel impossible, I have something that can help. My Communication That Connects Free Masterclass is designed to help you move past power struggles and into real understanding. Inside, I’ll walk you through the exact skills that turn tense moments into opportunities for empathy and connection. You’ll learn how to calm reactivity, communicate from the heart, and create emotionally safe conversations - the kind that honor both your truth and your relationship. If this episode got you thinking (or feeling) about your own relationships, come hang out with me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’m there every week sharing new insights, tools, and little reminders to help you stay grounded and connected - even when life gets messy! And if something from today’s conversation sparked a question or story you want to share, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep this conversation going. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

Have you ever fantasized about quitting your job, starting your own business, and finally doing something that feels 100% yours? It sounds amazing… until you remember that entrepreneurism also comes with risk, uncertainty, and about a million ways things can go sideways. So what does it really take to be an entrepreneur? In this episode, I’m joined by Melissa Bernstein - entrepreneur, creative, author, mother of six, and co-founder of both the billion-dollar toy company Melissa & Doug and the wellness brand Lifelines. Melissa shares what it really takes to be an entrepreneur: the resilience to weather constant storms, the patience to love the process for years before you see results, and the clarity of purpose that keeps you moving forward when everything feels like it’s falling apart. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Dream vs. Reality of Entrepreneurship 03:50 Start With Curiosity: Research Before You Launch 06:50 From Ingredients to Mission: Let Ideas Simmer 11:59 Resilience in Action: Setbacks, Copycats, and Mindset Shifts 18:22 The 3 Ps: Passion, Patience, and Purpose 20:46 Purpose Over Profit: Building a Legacy Brand 22:10 Patience Pays: A Decade to Real Traction 39:00 Openness to Experience: Beginner’s Mind and “New Eyes” 42:39 Protect Fragile Ideas: Share Only When the Vision Is Clear As you listen, reflect with me: What’s the mission you feel so strongly that you couldn’t walk away from it, even if you tried? Do you love the process of what you want to create enough to stay with it for decades? And are you running toward something that lights you up, or just trying to escape something you don’t like? If this conversation with Melissa got you thinking more deeply about your own path, I would love to help you take the next step. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It is a no-pressure chance to share what has been on your mind, whether that is growing in your career, clarifying your goals, or building more meaning into your work. I believe everyone deserves support as they figure out what is next, and these free consultations are one way I can make that support accessible. My hope is that you leave our time together feeling more clear, more encouraged, and more confident about where you are heading. And let’s not let the conversation stop here. I’m always sharing new insights, encouragement, and little growth tools on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube - but what I really love is hearing from you. Your thoughts and questions often spark future episodes, so if something in this one lit a fire for you, let me know. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self

This episode first aired on April 26, 2021 (Episode 243), and I’m bringing it back because so many listeners told me it felt like I was speaking directly to their experience. Living with a partner who always seems angry is confusing, painful, and can leave you feeling constantly on edge. In this episode, I’ll help you understand what’s really happening in that dynamic and share strategies to move back toward safety and connection. Whether you’re in the middle of it now, reflecting on a past relationship, or supporting someone you care about, my hope is that this brings you both clarity and comfort. Anger in relationships is almost always a secondary emotion. Beneath the sharp words or defensiveness, there’s usually hurt, fear, or a longing to feel cared for. I’ll walk you through why trying to shut anger down often makes things worse, how shifting your own responses can change the cycle, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and create space for vulnerability. As you listen, consider: What story have you been telling yourself about your partner’s anger? What might shift if you saw the pain or fear underneath it? And how could you show up in a way that invites connection instead of distance? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Understanding Why Your Partner Always Seems Angry 05:47 The Pursue–Withdraw Cycle in Relationships 11:02 What’s Really Driving Anger in a Relationship 18:03 When Anger Crosses Into Abuse 20:03 How to Rebuild Trust Through Emotional Availability 24:28 Anger as a Secondary Emotion: Hurt and Fear Beneath the Surface 27:03 How Counseling and Support Can Shift Entrenched Patterns 28:06 Recommended Resources for Healing Relationships If you’re tired of replaying the same arguments, I created my Communication That Connects Free Training to help. It’s a crash course in breaking conflict loops and building conversations that bring you closer. It comes with a workbook so you can start practicing right away. You might also love my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s quick, but it will give you such a clear picture of your strengths as a couple and the areas that might need more care. Sometimes just naming what’s really going on is the first step to healing. For more ongoing support, join me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, where I share tools and encouragement every week. And if this episode sparked a question or made you think of a topic you’d like me to cover, I’d love to hear from you - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self