Split Resilience: Putting Kids in the Middle of Divorce

Think adult kids are immune to divorce? Think again. In this episode, researcher Joleen Greenwood unpacks the hidden impact of gray divorce on adult children and what helps families move through it with more honesty, boundaries, and care.

In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Irwin Sandler, co-creator of the New Beginnings Program: a decades-long, research-backed intervention proven to strengthen parenting, reduce conflict, and support children’s mental health after divorce.Irwin and I walk through how the program began, what the early randomized trials revealed, and why the six- and fifteen-year results still feel astonishing today. He shares simple, powerful parenting practices, like catching your child “doing good” and building consistent routines, and explains in plain language why consistency matters so much for a child’s developing brain.We also discuss how the team translated the entire curriculum into an online experience accessible to parents anywhere, without losing the heart or effectiveness of the original program.If you’re navigating separation or supporting families, this episode offers clarity, warmth, and practical hope that change is possible for both parents and kids.Find out more at www.splitresilience.com or www.divorceandparenting.com

What happens when you take one of childhood’s most invisible wounds, growing up through your parents’ divorce, and turn it into purpose?In this powerful episode, I sit down with Joey Pontarelli, founder of Restored and author of It’s Not Your Fault, to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities of life after family breakdown. Joey shares his own story of pain, healing, and redemption, from feeling abandoned and ashamed as an 11-year-old to building a global movement that helps teens and young adults from divorced or dysfunctional families find hope and healing.We talk about:Why so many kids secretly blame themselves for their parents’ divorceHow to stop the cycle of dysfunction from repeatingThe role of faith, community, and meaning in rebuilding your lifeWhat parents can do right now to support their children through separationThis episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating divorce, as a parent, a child, or someone still healing from the ripple effects of family breakdown.Learn more about Joey’s work at restoredministry.com and follow Split Resilience for more conversations that turn pain into power.

In this episode of Split Resilience, host Tammy Sutherns sits down with Laramie Gorbett of SAFE Alliance to talk about hope, healing, and community. Laramie shares her journey of working with survivors of gender-based violence and explains how SAFE Alliance has been a lifeline for families in Austin for over 50 years.They also dive into Touch-a-Truck, SAFE’s signature family event where kids get to climb into fire trucks, bulldozers, and even school buses, all while raising critical funds to keep families safe. Together, Tammy and Laramie explore why events like this matter, how they build awareness in unexpected ways, and what resilience really looks like when a community comes together.Buy a ticket for Touch-A-Truck in Austin on September 27th here.Visit  safeaustin.org.

In this deeply honest and insightful episode of Split Resilience, I sit down with Steven Spears, a family therapist with both personal and professional experience navigating divorce and childhood trauma.Together, we explore what children really need during separation, how to protect them from high-conflict dynamics, and why resilience isn’t about being “tough”—it’s about feeling safe and seen. Steven shares his own childhood story, explains why courts sometimes miss the mark, and offers tangible, compassionate advice for parents doing their best in tough circumstances.Whether you’re in the thick of a co-parenting storm or just lying awake wondering if your kid will be okay, this one’s for you.Takeaways:Divorce is a journey with ongoing ripple effects.Children are resilient, but they need support.Parental conflict can deeply affect children.It's crucial to foster connection with children during tough times.Repairing relationships after conflict is essential for family health.Safe spaces at home are vital for children's emotional well-being.Hypervigilance in children can stem from parental conflict.Navigating court issues can be challenging for families.Stigma around divorce can impact both parents and children.Parents must prioritize their own emotional health to support their children.Find Steven at: https://counselingbysteven.com/

In this powerful episode, I sit down with identical twins, licensed mediators, and boundary powerhouses Jan and Jillian Yuhas, co-founders of Divorce Family Mediations. With their signature blend of insight, strategy, and empathy, they break down the nuanced (and often misunderstood) concept of coercive control in co-parenting relationships—and what it really takes to protect children through divorce and beyond.We talk about:Why kids run away (hint: it’s rarely what parents think)What “high-conflict” really means in a co-parenting dynamicHow trauma informs parenting patterns—and how to break freeWhat a loophole-free parenting plan looks like in real lifeThe biggest boundary mistake co-parents make (and how to fix it)Why emotional regulation is your biggest power moveYou’ll also hear their compelling case for shifting from trauma-informed ultimatums to value-aligned boundary setting and how this simple shift can transform your co-parenting experience.Whether you're navigating the messy middle of separation, advocating for your kids in family court, or supporting someone who is, this is an episode packed with clarity, comfort, and next steps.📚 Explore Jan & Jillian’s Work:→ Book: Boundary Badass→ Online Courses: Courses & Scripts→ Blog: Coercive Co-Parenting Insights→ Instagram: @divorcefamilymediation🔗 Ready to work with them? Book a consultation here: divorcefamilymediations.com

This conversation delves into the complexities of coercive control, psychological abuse, and the journey of healing for survivors. The speaker shares personal experiences that intertwine with their professional advocacy work, emphasizing the importance of recognizing signs of abuse, the impact of trauma on parenting, and the development of a protective parenting program. The discussion also highlights the challenges faced within the legal system and the need for greater understanding and support for protective parents.Takeaways:The importance of validation in healing from trauma.Coercive control is a pervasive pattern of behavior.Recognizing psychological abuse is crucial for recovery.Protective parenting can help rebuild trust with children.The legal system often fails to recognize coercive control.Trauma can significantly impact parenting dynamics.Creating a safe space for children is essential.Self-care is vital for protective parents.Understanding the abuser's tactics can empower victims.Community support is key for healing and resilience.Chapters00:00 The Journey of Healing and Validation01:40 Personal Experience Meets Professional Advocacy06:58 Recognizing Coercive Control10:48 Understanding Psychological Abuse12:42 Identifying Signs of Abuse16:53 The Impact of Trauma on Parenting23:30 Protective Parenting Program: A New Approach28:43 Navigating Injustice and Victim Blaming39:45 Legal System and Coercive Control45:51 Final Thoughts for Protective ParentsResources:Coercive Control ConsultingI Know Your HeartPerfect Prey PodcastTEDx Talk by Dr. Christine Cocchiola

Keywords:divorce, parenting, relationships, counseling, trauma, communication, co-parenting, family dynamics, emotional health, child safetySummary:This conversation delves into the complexities of relationships, particularly during times of transition such as divorce. We discuss the importance of maintaining healthy communication, understanding the impact of trauma on relationships, and the necessity of creating safe spaces for children amidst family changes. We explore strategies for co-parenting, the significance of emotional regulation, and the role of therapy in navigating these challenges. The dialogue emphasizes the need for connection and support for both parents and children during difficult times.Takeaways:Relationships can cause trauma but also help in healing.Healthy communication is crucial in co-parenting.Children need a stable environment to thrive.Divorce impacts children based on how it's handled.Emotional regulation is key for parents during transitions.Creating rituals of connection strengthens relationships.It's important to prioritize the couple's relationship for the children's well-being.Honesty without disparagement fosters trust in children.Therapy can be beneficial for both parents and children.Forgiveness and self-reflection are essential for growth.To learn more about Jennifer's work, visit www.insightcounsellingatx.com