Unmuted: Voices of Leaders

Ending the year with an important topic, this conversation explores the profound impact of alcohol on leadership and personal well-being. Kellye and Charisse discuss the physiological and emotional effects of alcohol, share personal experiences of quitting drinking, and highlight the benefits of clarity and confidence gained from an alcohol-free lifestyle. They also delve into the changing landscape of non-alcoholic options in social settings and the importance of emotional regulation for effective leadership.TakeawaysAlcohol numbs stress and is culturally woven into coping mechanisms.Removing alcohol can lead to immediate improvements in sleep and cognitive clarity.Curiosity can lead to significant lifestyle changes, as seen in Kellye's journey.Social dynamics around drinking can create pressure, but awareness helps navigate it.Building confidence without alcohol can enhance social interactions.Emotional processing may intensify after quitting alcohol, but it's a necessary part of healing.The rise of non-alcoholic options reflects changing societal attitudes towards drinking.Leaders can enhance their effectiveness by reducing or eliminating alcohol consumption.Clarity gained from sobriety can lead to better decision-making and emotional regulation.Experimenting with alcohol-free periods can provide valuable insights into personal habits.Sound Bites"It started with pure curiosity.""I felt grounded. I felt regulated.""Alcohol makes everything 5% harder."Chapters00:00 The Impact of Alcohol on Leadership02:58  Personal Journey: From Drinking to Clarity05:35  The Science Behind Alcohol's Effects08:22  Social Dynamics and Alcohol-Free Choices11:11  Building Confidence Without Alcohol13:45  The Emotional Journey of Quitting Alcohol16:26. Exploring Non-Alcoholic Options19:14  Changing Perspectives on Alcohol Consumption21:48  The Transformation of Leadership Through Clarity24:30  Final Thoughts on Alcohol and LeadershipDisclaimer This episode reflects personal experiences and general education related to health, leadership, and self-regulation. It is not intended as medical, clinical, or mental health advice. Individual experiences with alcohol vary, and listeners should consult qualified professionals for personalized guidance. This conversation is not a substitute for substance use disorder treatment or recovery support. We respect listeners wherever they are in their relationship with alcohol and encourage seeking appropriate professional or recovery resources when needed.

In this holiday-themed episode of Unmuted, hosts Charisse and Kellye explore the realities of holiday celebrations, emphasizing the importance of presence over perfection. They discuss evolving traditions, the joy of unplanned moments, and the leadership lessons that can be drawn from holiday experiences. The conversation highlights the significance of protecting holiday time, reflecting on the past year, and looking ahead to the future with intention. The hosts share personal anecdotes, favorite holiday foods, and lighthearted moments, creating a warm and engaging atmosphere for listeners.TakeawaysThe best holidays are about being present with loved ones.Leaders recharge in different ways, and it's important to find what works for you.Traditions can evolve over time, reflecting personal growth and changes in life circumstances.Unplanned moments often create the most memorable holiday experiences.It's not about perfection; it's about enjoying the time spent together.Taking time to reflect on the past year can help set intentions for the future.Protecting holiday time is essential for personal well-being and family connections.Creating space for creativity and connection can lead to a fulfilling year ahead.Humor and lightheartedness are important during the holiday season.The holidays can teach valuable lessons about leadership and authenticity.Chapters00:00 Holiday Conversations and Leadership Lessons06:24 Traditions and Evolving Holiday Habits11:52 Unplanned Moments and Family Humor18:24 Leadership During the Holiday Season21:19 Reflecting on Leadership During the Holidays24:33 The Importance of Rest and Resetting29:43 Protecting Holiday Time and Setting Boundaries31:55 Looking Ahead: Intentions for the New Year36:24 Lighthearted Holiday Traditions40:44 Closing Thoughts on Leadership and Gratitude

City executives are expected to lead with clarity, composure, and confidence while carrying significant political, organizational, and emotional responsibility. What they are rarely given is a private place to think, process, and recalibrate.In this episode of Unmuted, Kellye Mazzoli and Charisse Deschenes explore why the City Executive Circle was created and why it was intentionally designed as a private leadership environment for city executives. This is not a generic leadership space. It is built specifically for city managers, assistant and deputy managers, and department directors who need clarity, steadiness, and connection without public exposure.They discuss leadership isolation in city management, the risks of processing complex leadership issues in public forums, and how a simple, sustainable weekly rhythm can help executives stay grounded, think clearly, and lead effectively over time.Enrollment for the City Executive Circle opens later this week.Learn more and join the priority list at:https://citybosscoach.com/membership"This is a resource I wish I had.""This community is built for you.""Lead well, don't lead alone."TakeawaysThe City Executive Circle is a resource for city executives.Isolation in city management is a significant issue.Strong leaders can benefit from connection and support.Privacy is essential for effective leadership development.The membership allows for anonymous question submission.The community is tailored for those in city management roles.The 15-15 model respects leaders' time constraints.Coaching helps leaders reconnect with their internal compass.Founders pricing offers unique benefits for early joiners.The City Executive Circle fosters genuine connection and growthChapters00:00 Introduction to the City Executive Circle01:12 The Need for Support in City Management04:22 The City Executive Circle: For All Leaders06:13 The Importance of a Private Environment10:32 Who Belongs in the City Executive Circle?12:11 The 15-15 Model: Learning and Application15:56 The Role of Coaching in Leadership18:38 Founders Pricing and Early Enrollment Benefits

Charisse and Kellye talk the complexities of transitions and change, particularly in leadership roles. They discuss the discomfort that often accompanies change, the importance of self-awareness, and the need for quiet reflection during times of transition. The conversation emphasizes that transitions are not just about changing circumstances but also about identity and personal growth. The hosts encourage listeners to embrace change as an opportunity for growth and to recognize the signs of misalignment in their lives.TakeawaysTransitions can shake your foundation, even positive ones.Awareness is the first step in leadership maturity.Discomfort during transitions is a natural response.Quiet reflection is essential for processing change.Recognizing signs of misalignment can guide your decisions.It's important to differentiate between running from something and moving towards something.Transitions can lead to a reclamation of self.You don't have to navigate transitions alone.Clarity in your values can guide your actions during change.Embracing change is a sign of growth, not failure.Chapters00:00 Navigating Transitions and Change07:00 Identity and Ego in Transition14:26 Signals and Symptoms of Change17:22 Making Transitions Without Burnout23:14 Embracing Growth Through Discomfort

Kellye and Charisse discuss the potential challenges and opportunities faced by city management professionals as they transition into entrepreneurship. They explore the identity shifts that occur when leaving traditional roles, the transferable skills gained from city management, and the importance of coaching in supporting leaders. The conversation emphasizes the need for clarity, sustainability, and the creation of supportive environments for city managers and executives. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to embrace new possibilities and stay true to their passions while navigating their careers.TakeawaysCity management leaders are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about their future.Many are considering leaving the profession not due to failure, but due to lack of support.Building our own tables means creating spaces that add value to city management.Identity shifts occur when transitioning from city management to entrepreneurship.The skills gained in city management are highly transferable to coaching and consulting.Coaching helps city leaders feel grounded and less fragmented.Sustainable leadership is about using existing skills in new ways.Clarity and capacity are essential for effective decision-making in entrepreneurship.Exploring new opportunities can lead to fulfilling careers outside of traditional roles.Support and community are vital for city managers navigating their careers.Chapters00:00 The State of City Management Today02:57 Identity Shift: From City Management to Entrepreneurship05:39 Building a Business: Skills and Challenges08:12 Transferring Skills: From City Hall to Coaching11:10 Supporting City Management Through Coaching19:11 Navigating Decision-Making in Leadership21:51 The Importance of Grounded Leadership24:54 Building a Humane City Management26:59 Understanding Capacity vs. Capability28:55 The Shift from Team to Solo Work32:35 Exploring New Possibilities in Your Career

Kellye and Charisse explore the critical balance between holding space and taking space in leadership. They discuss how these dynamics shape team interactions and the importance of being aware of one's default patterns in managing space. The conversation emphasizes the need for leaders to practice presence, clarity, and regulation to foster a healthy team environment where all voices can be heard and valued.TakeawaysLeadership involves managing the flow of space intentionally.Holding space means being present without absorbing others' emotions.Taking space provides clarity and direction for the team.Both holding and taking space are forms of generosity in leadership.Leaders must balance holding and taking space to avoid misinterpretations.Default patterns in leadership often stem from early experiences and upbringing.Awareness of one's default patterns can lead to better leadership choices.Micro realizations can significantly impact leadership effectiveness.Practicing presence and restraint is crucial for holding space.Using space intentionally can transform team dynamics and decision-making."Holding space means being fully present with someone.""Taking space is essential in leadership.""Both skills are forms of generosity."Chapters00:00 The Dynamics of Space in Leadership09:00 Balancing Holding and Taking Space12:51 Reflections on Space and Leadership

Charisse and Kellye discuss the challenges of integrating work and family life, especially during the holiday season. They explore how to manage stress, the importance of setting boundaries, and the art of sharing personal experiences without oversharing. The conversation highlights the significance of being present with family and the value of choosing presence over pressure.TakeawaysBalancing work and family during holidays is challenging.Setting boundaries helps manage stress effectively.Sharing experiences without oversharing is an art.Being present with family is crucial.Choosing presence over pressure is a valuable practice.Work stress doesn't pause for holidays.Mindfulness can aid in managing holiday stress.Family gatherings require discernment in sharing.Leadership involves choosing presence over pressure.Creating peace is more important than performing it.Chapters00:00:00 Introduction to Family and Work Balance00:00:00 Thanksgiving Traditions and Stress00:00:00 Managing Work Stress During Holidays00:00:00 The Art of Sharing and Setting Boundaries00:00:01 Choosing Presence Over Pressure

Kellye and Charisse discuss the transition period following elections, referring to as the "post-election hangover." They explore the challenges leaders face in local government during this time, emphasizing the importance of maintaining calm and clarity amidst changing priorities and political climates. The conversation highlights the need for intentional leadership, effective communication, and the ability to navigate uncertainty while keeping the community's needs at the forefront.TakeawaysLeadership is tested when conditions change.Elections are part of the natural cycle, not a crisis.Local government should remain non-partisan.Communication gaps can lead to assumptions and rumors.Community noise persists post-election.Intentional leadership is crucial during transitions.Clarity helps restore focus amidst uncertainty.Leaders should model calm and preparedness.Self-care is essential for sustainable leadership.Politics shape the environment, leadership shapes the future.Sound bites"Leadership is tested when conditions change." "Elections are part of the natural cycle." "Local government should remain non-partisan." "Community noise persists post-election." "Intentional leadership is crucial during transitions." "Clarity helps restore focus amidst uncertainty." "Leaders should model calm and preparedness." "Self-care is essential for sustainable leadership." "Politics shape the environment, leadership shapes the future." "Leadership is about purpose, not politics."Chapters00:32 Introduction to Post-Election Hangover02:19 Professional Leadership After Elections09:57 Challenges in Post-Election Period16:37 Preparing for Transition23:11 The Human Aspect of Leadership25:26 Conclusion and Encouragement

Kellye and Charisse explore the phenomenon of the "conference glow." You know, that invigorating energy and connection felt during conferences. They discuss the challenges of maintaining this energy upon returning to daily routines and share strategies for integrating insights and connections into everyday life. The importance of reflection, intentional outreach, and creating a supportive community is emphasized as key to sustaining the glow beyond the conference experience.TakeawaysThe conference glow is a shared experience that energizes participants.Returning to routine can cause the glow to fade, but it's a natural process.Intentional actions can help maintain the glow after a conference.Reflecting on key conversations can anchor the insights gained.Building connections with peers is essential for ongoing support.Decompression time is crucial for processing experiences from the conference.Cultivating the glow involves integrating insights into daily life.Reaching out to connections can keep the energy alive.The glow is a reflection of personal clarity and alignment with values.Practicing the glow in everyday life is essential for sustained growth.Chapters00:00 The Conference Glow: A Shared Experience03:18 Transitioning Back to Routine: The Energy Shift05:54 Strategies for Maintaining Connection and Energy08:57 Integration Time: Absorbing the Conference Experience11:55 Reclaiming Agency: Cultivating the Glow Beyond Conferences14:31 Practicing the Glow: Daily Reminders and Connections

Charisse and Kellye explore the delicate balance between optimism and pessimism in leadership, particularly within public service. They discuss the importance of hope as a catalyst for innovation, the risks associated with inaction, and the need for grounded optimism. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of creating a culture that encourages responsible creativity while managing risks effectively. The speakers also highlight the emotional and physical aspects of leadership, advocating for awareness and curiosity as essential traits for effective leaders.TakeawaysThe tension between risk and progress is a daily challenge for leaders.Hope is often misunderstood as risky due to a focus on safety.Avoiding risk can lead to a different kind of loss.Leadership involves making judgment calls about risk.The cost of saying no can impact community trust.Grounded optimism allows for creative and innovative solutions.Responsible innovation requires a structured approach.Leaders must regulate their emotions to make clear decisions.Curiosity should be prioritized over caution in leadership.Awareness is the foundation of effective leadership.Sound Bites"What is the cost of saying no?""Optimism has to be structured.""More curious than cautious."Chapters00:00 Navigating the Space Between Optimism and Pessimism02:41 The Role of Hope in Leadership05:16 Grounded Optimism and Responsible Innovation08:17 The Inner Work of Hope11:15 Curiosity Over Caution

Kellye and Charisse explore the complex relationship between structure and freedom in leadership. They discuss the importance of finding a balance between being overly structured and too loose, emphasizing that both extremes can lead to feelings of being stuck. The conversation delves into the concepts of outer and inner structure, the rhythm framework of anchors, focus blocks, and margins, and the necessity of adapting one's structure to align with personal energy and creativity. Ultimately, they advocate for a dynamic approach to structure that supports individual growth and well-being.TakeawaysBoth too much and too little structure can lead to feeling stuck.Structure should feel personal and designed around your energy.Outer structure is visible; inner structure is about mindset and clarity.Structure is not the goal; it should support your growth.Margins in your schedule are essential for creativity and renewal.Understanding your energy patterns can help in structuring your day.Seasons of life require different types of structure.Integration of all life pieces is more important than balance.Structure should adapt as you evolve in your leadership journey.Creating a rhythm in your life leads to sustainable leadership.Chapters00:00 Navigating Structure in Leadership02:52 The Balance of Control and Capacity05:38 Understanding Outer and Inner Structure08:13 The Rhythm Framework: Anchors, Focus Blocks, and Margins11:26 Seasons of Structure: Adapting to Change14:17 Energy Over Time: Finding Your Flow16:50 Integrating Structure and Rhythm19:37 Conclusion: Structure as Support, Not Constraint

Charisse and Kellye explore the deeper aspects of leadership, focusing on self-awareness, the inner story of leaders, the impact of their presence on teams, and the importance of personal growth. They emphasize that true leadership is about serving others and understanding how one's leadership style affects those around them. The conversation encourages leaders to reflect on their own experiences and the emotional footprint they leave behind, ultimately guiding them towards more intentional and effective leadership practices.TakeawaysLeadership is about self-awareness and understanding your inner story.Your leadership style impacts how others experience you.Helping others rise is a key accomplishment for leaders.Awareness builds trust faster than any speech or vision statement.Leaders should own the emotional footprint they leave behind.Effective leaders protect their well-being to avoid burnout.Leadership is a practice of awareness, not just performance.Understanding your impact can lead to more intentional leadership.Your growth edge is where you are still learning to grow.Asking 'What's it like to be led by you?' can transform your leadership approach.Chapters00:00 The Leader Within: A New Perspective06:34 Understanding Impact: The Ripple Effect of Leadership11:26 Growth Edge: Evolving as a Leader

In this heartfelt episode, Charisse helps Kellye share the profound impact her grandfather, Paw Paw, had on her life and leadership philosophy. As Kellye reflects on his legacy, she highlights the lessons of scrappiness, resourcefulness, and the importance of humor in leadership. Through personal anecdotes, Kellye illustrates how Paw Paw's unconditional love and support shaped her understanding of leadership and resilience. This conversation serves as a tribute to the values he instilled in her and the lasting influence he has on her approach to life and work.TakeawaysPaw Paw embodied the essence of being scrappy in leadership.Scrappiness means doing whatever it takes to accomplish something.Resourcefulness is key; it's not always about strength.Humor plays a vital role in leadership and problem-solving.Leadership is not about perfection; it's about persistence.You can rearrange and adapt to fit your goals.Unconditional love fosters confidence and belief in oneself.Every challenge can be approached with creativity and flexibility.The importance of community and helping others in need.Leadership requires humanity and understanding. Chapters00:00 Remembering Paw Paw: A Personal Tribute04:36 The Meaning of Being Scrappy06:21 Lessons in Resourcefulness and Flexibility09:26 Helping Others: Paw Paw's Legacy of Service11:28 Life Lessons from a Car Accident14:03 Leadership Beyond Perfection15:19 The Unconditional Love of Paw Paw16:23 Final Thoughts: Leadership with Humor

Charisse and Kellye discuss the complexities of election season, sometimes known as 'silly season.' They explore the challenges faced by public service staff, the importance of preparation, and the need for clear communication and policies. The conversation covers scenario planning for potential election outcomes, effective onboarding for new councils, managing project timelines, and navigating the use of public resources. The episode emphasizes the significance of maintaining public trust and neutrality during politically charged times.TakeawaysSilly season refers to the election period when public service work is scrutinized.Neutrality is not just a best practice; it's a legal requirement.Preparing staff early is crucial for navigating election season.Scenario planning can help anticipate changes in council dynamics.Tools like the three horizons framework aid in strategic foresight.Onboarding new councils should start well before elections.Project timelines may need to be adjusted during election season.Public resources cannot be used for political purposes.Building public trust requires transparency and credibility.Staff should be supported and protected during stressful election periods.Chapters00:00 Understanding Silly Season in Local Government02:23 Preparing Staff for Election Season04:45 Onboarding New Councils Effectively07:40 Strategizing Project Management During Elections10:02 Navigating Public Resources and Facilities12:50 Maintaining Public Trust and Neutrality15:23 Key Takeaways for Election Season

Kellye and Charisse discuss the detrimental effects of constant notifications on focus and decision-making for city leaders. They explore the neuroscience behind distractions, the concept of decision fatigue, and the importance of creating a culture that prioritizes deep work. The conversation emphasizes practical strategies for managing distractions, including auditing notifications, batching tasks, and establishing boundaries to reclaim focus and enhance leadership effectiveness.TakeawaysConstant notifications create a dopamine loop that distracts the brain.It takes an average of 23 minutes to regain focus after a distraction.Burnout is often a result of mental fatigue from constant interruptions.95% of notifications are not urgent and can be ignored.Leaders model behavior for their teams, impacting organizational culture.Setting boundaries around notifications can improve focus and productivity.Auditing notifications helps identify which are beneficial and which are distracting.Batching tasks can help maintain focus and reduce interruptions.Creating rituals for deep work can enhance creativity and problem-solving.Turning off notifications can significantly reduce decision fatigue.Chapters00:00 The Impact of Notifications on Focus10:41 Strategies for Managing Distractions20:50 Reclaiming Leadership Through Focus

Charisse and Kellye explore the complexities of inspiration, particularly when it's feeling a little dim. They discuss the importance of showing up even when motivation is lacking, the value of small moments of joy, and the impact of external noise on your days. The conversation emphasizes the ebb and flow of inspiration, encouraging listeners to embrace their feelings and recognize that it's okay to not always feel inspired. Through personal anecdotes and practical tips, they highlight the significance of community, self-care, and honesty in nurturing creativity back alive.TakeawaysIt's okay to feel uninspired sometimes.Showing up is more important than feeling inspired.Creating conditions for inspiration is essential.Small moments can spark joy and creativity.Survival is a form of success, not failure.Inspiration has an ebb and flow; it's not constant.Admitting a lack of inspiration can create space for it.Community and connection can reignite inspiration.Mindfulness and self-care are crucial for creativity.Honesty about our feelings fosters deeper connections.Chapters00:00 Embracing the Dim Days07:17 Finding Inspiration in Small Moments13:30 The Noise of Inspiration16:08 Honesty and Connection in Inspiration

Kellye and Charisse discuss the impact of language, particularly the misuse of terms like gaslighting, narcissism, and trauma. They emphasize the importance of using precise language to avoid diluting the meaning of these serious concepts and the potential harm that can arise from casual usage. The conversation explores the consequences of mislabeling behaviors and the stigma associated with mental health diagnoses. The hosts also offer practical solutions for communicating more effectively and mindfully.TakeawaysThe words we choose shape our perceptions and interactions.Misusing mental health terms can dilute their meaning and impact.Gaslighting is a serious form of manipulation, not just a casual insult.Trauma has lasting effects and should not be trivialized.Labels like narcissist and sociopath carry significant stigma.Casual language can lead to misunderstandings and misdiagnosis.Effective communication requires specificity and clarity.Staying curious can help avoid jumping to conclusions.Words can either heal or harm, depending on their use.Mindful language is essential for supporting those in need.Sound Bites"Words shape how we see ourselves.""Misusing terms increases stigma.""Use your words with care."Chapters00:00 The Power of Language in Mental Health03:23 Understanding Key Terms: Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Trauma05:49 The Impact of Misusing Mental Health Terminology08:06 The Consequences of Casual Labels10:24 Moving Towards Better Communication13:25 Practical Solutions for Thoughtful Language

Charisse and Kellye explore the multifaceted nature of productivity, emphasizing that it extends beyond traditional work metrics to include roles such as caregivers, community members, and friends. They discuss the importance of recognizing invisible work, the need for integration over balance in work and life, and the significance of engagement. The conversation also highlights systemic changes needed in workplace culture to foster trust and measure productivity by outcomes rather than hours logged. Listeners are challenged to reflect on their contributions outside of work and to engage more deeply with their communities.TakeawaysProductivity is not just about work; it includes all roles we play.Invisible work, like caregiving, is often undervalued.Busyness does not equate to value or fulfillment.Integration of work and life is more beneficial than balance.Community engagement is essential for personal and societal well-being.Trust in employees is more effective than control measures.Productivity should be measured by outcomes, not hours worked.Redesigning work culture is necessary for modern lives.Protecting time for personal interests enhances productivity.Engaging in community activities enriches our lives. Chapters00:00 Redefining Productivity02:53 Invisible Work and Its Value05:20 Integration vs. Balance in Life08:15 The Role of Community in Productivity10:53 Cultural Shifts in Work Dynamics13:52 Systemic Change and Trust in the Workplace16:43 Measuring Outcomes Over FaceTime19:34 Bringing It All Together: Key Insights and Challenges

Kellye and Charisse explore the complex decision-making process leaders face when considering whether to stay in their current roles or move on. They discuss the importance of aligning personal values with organizational culture, recognizing signs of misalignment, and the emotional and physical toll that such decisions can take. The conversation emphasizes the need for self-reflection, courage, and practical steps to navigate these challenging crossroads in leadership.TakeawaysThe decision to stay or go is deeply personal.Our bodies often signal misalignment before our minds do.Not every rough patch in a job means it's time to leave.Compromising values can erode your leadership effectiveness.Courage is about acting in the face of fear.Reflect on what your health is telling you about your work environment.Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining well-being.Engagement comes from aligning personal and organizational values.It's important to seek support from mentors or peers during transitions.Your values should guide your decisions in leadership.Chapters00:00  The Crossroads of Leadership: Stay or Go?09:04  Navigating the Reckoning: Courageous Choices17:55  Health and Values: The Body's Signals21:40  Practical Steps for Decision-Making

Charisse and Kellye explore the complexities of maintaining passion in public service roles. They discuss the gradual fading of enthusiasm, the challenges of identity tied to public service, and the importance of recognizing signals of change. The dialogue emphasizes the need for self-reflection, the acceptance of evolving values, and the encouragement to embrace new possibilities for personal growth and fulfillment.TakeawaysWhen passion fades, it may signal a need for change.It's common for public servants to feel a sense of obligation.Identity can be deeply tied to one's role in public service.Recognizing the shift in passion is the first step to addressing it.Self-reflection is crucial in understanding personal values.It's important to allow oneself to imagine new possibilities.The fading fire of passion doesn't mean it's gone, just shifting.Growth often requires letting go of old identities.Community service roles can lead to feelings of burnout.Embracing change can lead to greater fulfillment.Chapters00:00 When Passion Fades: Understanding the Shift06:58 Navigating Identity and Purpose in Public Service11:50 Recognizing Signals: The Call for Change16:15 Embracing Growth: The Journey of Reimagining Passion