Discover
Do You F*cking Mind?
Do You F*cking Mind?
Author: Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa
Subscribed: 7,908Played: 359,267Subscribe
Share
Description
Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez. On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and psychology. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak. And on Fridays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions!
Email info@dyfmpod.com to submit your questions.
Order your copy of my latest book How to Chase Change at https://bit.ly/44xwszR .
579 Episodes
Reverse
It's Voice Message headnoise day! I answer 3 of your Voice Messages you sent in!
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Head Noise: I’m Losing My Best Friend & My Partner Is 17 Years Older Than Me
In this Head Noise episode, we talk about two situations that can quietly reshape your relationships — friendship change and family judgement.
First, how do you deal with the fear of losing your best friend when they enter a new relationship?
We explore:
Why the friendship changing doesn’t mean the love is gone
How trying to control or hold on too tightly can push someone away
The difference between close and codependent friendships
Why fear can damage something that doesn’t need fixing
How to genuinely be happy for your friend when their life evolves
Then, what happens when your partner is 17 years older and your family isn’t on board?
i go into:
Learning to live with family disappointment
Why their concern often comes from protection, not rejection
The importance of keeping them in the loop
Why telling them sooner rather than later makes things easier
This episode is about allowing relationships to evolve without trying to force certainty, and learning to stay grounded even when others don’t fully understand your choices.
As always, Head Noise is about responding thoughtfully instead of reacting from fear.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Head Noise: My Partner Trauma Dumps, I Feel Like a Fraud at Work, and I Freeze in Conflict
In this Head Noise episode, we unpack three listener dilemmas that all come down to boundaries, self-perception, and finding your voice when things feel overwhelming.
We talk about:
Whether to stay with a partner who constantly trauma dumps — and how to figure out if the relationship is actually sustainable long-term
What imposter syndrome really is at a new job, and how to rewrite your self-talk so it becomes realistic and empowering instead of self-sabotaging
Why some people freeze during confrontation, and how to start responding instead of shutting down
This episode covers:
Emotional compatibility vs emotional exhaustion in relationships
Determining if your needs are being met — not just if you care about someone
Reframing “I’m a fraud” thinking into grounded, self-supportive internal dialogue
The psychology behind conflict freeze responses
How to make decisions that protect your energy and long-term wellbeing
If you’ve ever felt drained by someone you love, doubted your place at work, or struggled to speak up when it matters, this one will resonate.
As always, Head Noise is about cutting through emotional overwhelm so you can make clearer, calmer decisions.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this Head Noise episode, we’re unpacking three very different dilemmas that all come down to trust, discomfort, and self-honesty.
We talk about:
What to do when you get back with someone who previously ghosted you, and the trust issues won’t go away
How to build a relationship with your sister-in-law when you fundamentally don’t see eye to eye
Why you might want to leave a “lovely” boyfriend, and how to know if you’re making a mistake or finally listening to yourself
This episode covers:
Rebuilding trust after being ghosted (and whether it’s actually possible)
Why good on paper doesn’t always mean right for you
Fear of regret vs fear of staying stuck
Choosing peace over potential
If you’ve ever stayed because you were scared to hurt someone, gone back to someone who hurt you, or felt guilty for wanting something different, this one will hit.
As always, Head Noise is about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you make decisions that align with your self-respect.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this Head Noise episode, I answer three listener questions that sit right at the intersection of hope, attachment, and self-betrayal the kind of decisions that feel impossible when you’re emotionally involved.
We talk about:
Whether you should leave a life you love to move cities in the hope of finding a partner
What to do when your cheating ex wants you back, is in therapy, and swears they’ve changed, especially when you’ve already moved on with someone else
How to emotionally detach and move forward after being slowly ghosted by someone you thought things were going really well with
This episode breaks down the psychology behind:
Making life decisions from loneliness vs self-trust
Sex addiction, and the difference between change and intention
Why ghosting hurts so much
Choosing yourself without spiralling into guilt or doubt
As always, Head Noise episodes are about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you see what’s actually happening, so you can make decisions that protect your peace and self-respect.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How to Reclaim Your Power Without Controlling Anyone
In this episode, I break down the psychology behind control. Why we try to manage other people’s behaviour, emotions, and choices, and how that quietly drains our power, peace, and sense of self.
We talk about:
Why trying to control others makes you feel more powerless, not less
How victim mentality keeps you dependent on other people’s energy and validation
The ways control shows up as guilt, emotional pressure, or “needs”
Why boundaries are about your behaviour and not changing someone else’s
How letting go of control reduces anxiety and emotional exhaustion
Why focusing only on yourself feels uncomfortable but creates real change
How to stop feeling guilty, indebted, or responsible for other people’s emotions
The mindset shift that helps you reclaim your power without force, manipulation, or emotional labour
This episode is for anyone who feels drained by relationships, stuck in cycles of guilt or resentment, or exhausted from trying to hold everything together.
You don’t need more control.
You need your power back.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why do you keep comparing yourself to everyone else, even people you love?
Why does competition creep into friendships, relationships, work, and social media… even when you know it’s making you feel worse?
In this episode, I break down the psychology of comparison and competition. Why your brain gets stuck in it, why some situations trigger you more than others, and how to end the comparison cycle permanently, not just “manage” it.
We talk about:
Why comparison isn’t the problem, loss of self-trust is
How triggers reveal where you’ve outsourced your worth
The difference between healthy ambition and toxic competition
Why comparing yourself to friends and siblings hurts the most
How social media intensifies insecurity without you realising
The psychology behind competing for validation, attention, and approval
How to stop competing in friendships, dating, and everyday life
The mindset shift that makes comparison lose its power for good
This episode is for anyone who feels behind, constantly measures themselves against others, or is exhausted by the quiet mental competition they can’t seem to turn off.
If comparison is draining your confidence, affecting your relationships, or keeping you stuck, this episode will help you understand why it happens and exactly how to step out of it for good.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
BONJOUR! Head Noise today!
So many questions coming through so we are ramping up these Head Noise episodes.
Today we cover dating curses and how to break out of them, issues with friends who have given you the silent treatment, how to advance at work and stop being a soggy lemon and what to do when you take a step back for the sake of your mental health but it causes your mental health to continue to suffer because of the dreaded identity crisis.
Lets get into it!!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
On this HN episode, I get to answer your questions and they are GOOD. We get to the bottom of:
Why you may be so bad at picking the right partner, how to change something within you to make better choices moving forward.
Why you do not have to feel guilty for cutting a friend off even if they have zero friends (ahem, accountability)
How to deal with a painfully negative mother (whom you adore and do not want to cut out)
And what to do if you are at the 7 year mark, unsure if you should stay or leave when there is a house and 2 dogs involved.
Don’t forget to send through YOUR Head Noise questions to info@dyfmpod.com
Sydney Live Show February 4th, tickets are on sale here.
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If rejection (or even perceived rejection) feels physically painful, overwhelming, or impossible to shake, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we explore the psychology behind Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) a widely recognized experience (though not a formal diagnosis) that’s especially common in people with ADHD, and anyone who struggles with intense emotional reactions to rejection, criticism, or disapproval.
This episode covers:
What RSD actually feels like and why it can feel physically painful
The difference between real rejection and perceived rejection
Common triggers (and why perception matters more than reality)
What’s happening in the brain during an RSD spiral
Signs you may be experiencing RSD
Why people-pleasing, avoidance, overachievement, and rumination don’t actually help
How RSD differs from “normal” emotional sensitivity
The link between RSD, ADHD, and emotional dysregulation
This episode isn’t about “toughening up” or stopping emotions from happening.
It’s about learning how to move through rejection without losing yourself to it and rebuilding a sense of control, safety, and self-trust.
If you’ve ever thought, “I know this is irrational, but it feels unbearable,” this conversation will help you understand why and what to do next.
Sydney Live Show February 4th, tickets are on sale here.
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 10 – Choosing Peace Is the Power Move
(How Stability, Clarity, and Balance Actually Give You Everything You Want)The Reset You Actually Need
For a long time, hustle culture convinced us that being busy meant we were getting somewhere.
In Episode 10 — the final episode of The Reset You Actually Need , we explore why choosing peace isn’t giving up on ambition, but refining it into something sustainable, intelligent, and far more effective.
This episode breaks down:
Why hustle culture confuses motion with real progress
How constant urgency fragments attention and fuels anxiety
Why peace of mind increases performance rather than complacency
How balance isn’t a compromise it’s an optimisation strategy
Why inconsistency creates anxiety and the illusion of “falling behind”
How overstimulation kills clarity, creativity, and fulfilment
Why slower, long-form thinking leads to better decisions and deeper satisfaction
We talk about the gap between where you are and where you think you should be and how that gap is often the source of chronic anxiety. Not because you’re failing, but because you’re trying to sprint instead of stabilise.
Choosing peace doesn’t mean doing less.
It means doing the right things, consistently, without burning yourself out.
This episode is about redefining success so you don’t have to escape your own life to survive it.
This episode concludes a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and step into the year calm, clear, and self-led.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Day 9. Less Proving, More Choosing
The Reset You Actually Need
So much exhaustion comes from trying to prove your worth.
In Day 9 of The Reset You Actually Need, we explore what happens when you stop performing for validation and start making decisions from clarity, self-trust, and alignment instead.
This episode breaks down:
The difference between proving and choosing and why it matters
Why proving is reactive, while choosing is grounded and powerful
How the need to prove often comes from unresolved self-doubt
Why proving keeps you busy, but choosing actually moves you forward
How choosing makes boundaries feel simpler and more natural
The discomfort that comes with choosing and why it’s necessary
This episode isn’t about becoming cold, dismissive, or disconnected.
When you stop trying to convince people of your value, your decisions get quieter, clearer, and far more effective.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move through the year with calm authority and direction.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Day 8 – Until You Learn to Rest, You Will Not Get Ahead
The Reset You Actually Need
So many people think they’re resting but they’re actually avoiding.
In Day 8 of The Reset You Actually Need, we explore why confusing rest with avoidance keeps you feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and stuck in the same place, even when you’re “taking breaks.”
This episode covers:
The difference between real rest and avoidance behaviours
Why your mood and energy don’t change when rest isn’t restorative
The kinds of tasks people avoid and why
How to tell if you truly rested or just numbed out
Why sleep alone doesn’t fix exhaustion
Forms of rest that actually restore energy and calm the nervous system
Why some activities are more restful than bed rotting
How to wind down on your own without avoidance
If you feel like you’re constantly tired, overwhelmed, or needing more time off — this episode will help you understand what kind of rest you actually need, and how to get it without sabotaging your momentum.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move through the year with clarity and calm self-leadership.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Self-trust doesn’t disappear because you fail.
It erodes because you keep negotiating with yourself and breaking the deal.
In Day 7 of The Reset You Actually Need, we talk about why so many people struggle to trust themselves, even when they’re capable, intelligent, and motivated, and how constant internal negotiation quietly destroys confidence.
This mini episode explores:
Why every excuse sounds reasonable in your own voice
The difference between a valid reason and a repeated pattern
How negotiating with yourself teaches your brain that your word is flexible
Why discipline isn’t harsh, it’s relieving and freeing
The balance between self-compassion and accountability
Why small promises matter more than big goals
Self-trust isn’t built through motivation, grit, or hype.
It’s built through follow-through.
When you stop arguing with yourself, life gets simpler.
Decisions feel lighter.
Confidence starts to return naturally.
This episode is about becoming someone who does what they say, without punishment, drama, or burnout.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move through the year with clarity and calm self-leadership.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Reset You Actually Need
Feeling constantly disappointed in people, in situations, or in yourself is exhausting.
In this episode of The Reset You Actually Need, we unpack why disappointment is rarely about bad luck, and more often about repeating the same patterns, ignoring behaviour, and abandoning your own boundaries often without realising it.
This episode explores:
Why disappointment is often self-created (and how to stop doing that)
How repeating the same goals or relationships erodes self-trust
Why listening to words instead of behaviour keeps you stuck
The psychology of repeated rejection and loss of control
How taking responsibility restores agency (without self-blame)
Why self-respect is the fastest way back to emotional stability
This isn’t about becoming cynical or emotionally closed off.
It’s about regaining control by changing what you tolerate, repeat, and negotiate with.
If you’re tired of feeling let down, drained, or stuck in cycles that keep hurting you, this episode will help you reset your expectations, rebuild self-trust, and move forward with clarity.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, raise your standards, and step into the year with calm self-leadership.
Episode 217 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5sXGur29se1TajjfWjMiNB
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 5 – Stop Waiting to Feel Ready: Why Action Changes Identity
The Reset You Actually Need – Day 5
So many people believe confidence, clarity, or motivation comes before they act.
In Day 5 of The Reset You Actually Need, we unpack why waiting to feel ready is one of the most common (and invisible) ways people stay stuck, and how identity is shaped by action, not intention.
This episode explores:
Why the brain doesn’t reward planning, it rewards movement
How repeated action updates self-concept and confidence
The psychology behind hesitation and “I’ll start when…” thinking
Why readiness is a byproduct, not a prerequisite
How to begin changing your identity through behaviour, not self-talk
If you’ve been waiting for motivation, certainty, or the perfect moment before making a change, this episode will help you understand why that moment rarely arrives , and what actually creates momentum instead.
This isn’t about forcing yourself or pushing harder.
It’s about letting action do the psychological work for you.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move through the year with calm direction.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Reset You Actually Need – Day 4
We’re often told to fix our mindset first, to think more positively, feel more motivated, or “get our head right.”
In Day 4 of The Reset You Actually Need, we flip that idea on its head and explore why disciplining the body is often the fastest way to change the mind.
This episode breaks down:
Why changing your physical state contributes to motivation and confidence
How physical routines regulate your mood and improve mental clarity
Ideas for you that you can start implementing today
How small, repeatable behaviours create psychological momentum
This isn’t about extreme routines or rigid self-control.
It’s about understanding that the brain takes its cues from the body and that mental resilience is often built through physical consistency.
This episode will show you why action at the level of the body is the reset you’ve been missing.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to help you reset your mindset, rebuild self-trust, and move differently through the year ahead.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Reset You Actually Need – Day 3
So many people believe their struggles are just “part of who they are.”
In Day 3 of The Reset You Actually Need, we unpack the personality traits people often romanticise - like being chaotic, overly self-sacrificing, emotionally intense, or the crazy party animal, and how these traits quietly sabotage growth, consistency, and self-trust.
This episode explores:
Why you cling onto certain traits as your armour even though they conflict with the person you are trying to become
The psychology behind identifying too strongly with struggle
How to evolve your identity without losing your edge
If you’ve ever described yourself as “so chaotic,” “bad with routine,” or “a perfectionist,” this episode will help you see where personality ends and self-sabotage begins.
This isn’t about becoming boring or losing what makes you you.
It’s about upgrading the parts of your identity that are no longer serving your future.
Part of a 10-day mini-series designed to reset your mindset, standards, and sense of self for the year ahead.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices






this one helps me get more collected
رابطه بین حس بویایی و مغز ،در این پادکست راجب حس عجیب بویایی و یاداوری صحبت میکنه . میکدولا و هیپوکامپ ،نزدیکی موقعیت این دوو بخش مغز چقد تاثیر گذاره .
oh my friggen good gid **god am I going through a mid life crisis but...... and then I jstvist it for formerly intellectual female. pretty good riddance sure. wtf like wtf!?!?!!?!? sorry sw÷Etienne but you seem strong and I was strong but holy shit. bags.
absolutely obsessed with this chick, she is the bomb!!!!
About the end story, I wanna tell her she is not the only one. Do not stop caring about yourself. You deserve the best.
Hi. Which city are you going to move to, if it's not a secret? I also recently moved my production facility, except that the usual movers weren't enough because of different conditions and circumstances. Thanks to an acquaintance, I was advised by Transload warehouse https://pnwwarehousing.com/transload.html, which moves products within the ports of Tacoma and Port of Seattle. The company itself is based in Puyallup, Washington. They moved everything as quickly as possible, so now I am already developing in a new place.
Thank you, I'm just about to move my business to another city.
Hello it’s about 1 week that I can’t play your podcasts any more! Is there any problem?
👌🏼
👏🏼♥️
Omg majdub means crazy in arabic :(
Thanks for this! I definitely have some elements of imposter syndrome and am driven by a fear of failure rather than a need to succeed, even at this stage in my career where I should know better! This was super helpful and articulated some things that I can work on. PS. This was my first time listening to your show, I have a playlist full of your content to work through now!
HBLY
àhďz5sh
great podcast
Hi, beautiful legend! Can I have an address or a link to the guy who you said you are doing Botox with? Thanks for all of your helpful podcasts, You should know you are the one who makes me more confident in my hard lonely time. love love love
thank you.
omfg I really relate with my exphyco. the worst thing is she reaching out having one-sided conversation. then get text to say wow great conversation. to me total bullshit. get out of my space.
loving the podcast, can you slow down your speed talking a touch please.
zThanks girls!! happy new year!