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Do You F*cking Mind?
Do You F*cking Mind?
Author: Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa - Neuroscientist and Mindset Coach
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Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez. On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and psychology. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak. And on Fridays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions!
Email info@dyfmpod.com to submit your questions.
Order your copy of my latest book How to Chase Change at https://bit.ly/44xwszR .
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It's headnoise day! If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
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This is the episode you have been asking for and waiting for and we are finally here!
How do you really know if you want children? Can you ever truly be ready for it? And what kind of questions do you need to ask yourself AND your partner before embarking on starting a family, or choosing to not.
While I cannot give you black and white answers, I really hope this episode helps you get deeper into your own thoughts about the topic and lead you to having a bit more clarity around the subject!
I asked myself these questions before having my own children and I feel it did help prepare me for this new season in life quite a bit!
Enjoy!
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Poll Should I do an episode on
The Neuroscience of Making and Breaking a Habit
The Neuroscience of Emotional Intelligence
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It's Headnoise Friday! I answer your questions you sent in! The questions I received were Can you lose feelings with someone?, One sided sibling relationships and My friend has dropped the ball. If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
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Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today's episode is one of my most requested topics, entering your 30's!
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Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
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Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonjour!
Welcome to Head Noise day. Today I cover 2 different questions, one about really trusting your partner when you know they have cheated in the past (not on you, but with you), and how to come to terms with permananty leaving your home country, and having kids away from your family.
I did aim to do 3 questions as usual, but the background noise was off the HHOOOOKKKK today so two questions it is!
Anyway. Danke and enjoy!!
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Why do we have incredible self-control in some areas of life… and absolutely none in others?
In this neuroscience episode, we break down what self-control actually is in the brain, and why it can disappear the moment stress, distraction, or emotional conflict enters the picture.
We start with a quick brain fact explaining the difference between adrenaline and noradrenaline (also known as epinephrine and norepinephrine) and how these stress chemicals activate the sympathetic nervous system and the fight-or-flight response.
Then we dive into the neuroscience of self-control:
• What self-control actually means from a brain perspective
• Why self-control is a diminishing mental resource
• How stress chemicals weaken the brain’s control systems
• The push-pull relationship between the prefrontal cortex (your control centre) and the limbic system (your emotional and impulse system)
• Why stress and anxiety can shut down the brain circuits responsible for conscious self-control
• The role of the anterior cingulate cortex in monitoring internal conflict and willpower
I also explore why self-control isn’t about learning new skills, it’s about directing yourself to do things you are already capable of doing.
Finally, we look at evidence-based ways to strengthen self-control in everyday life:
• Regulating emotions instead of suppressing them
• Re-internalising awareness and paying attention to internal conflict
• Why meditation improves self-control by strengthening attention and self-awareness
• The role of delayed gratification in reducing procrastination
• How small daily actions can train the brain to make better decisions
If you’ve ever wondered why motivation fluctuates, why stress makes discipline disappear, or how to build stronger habits, this episode explains the neuroscience behind it.
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Bonjour!
On this headnoise episode I answer three of your questions.
I cover:
How to deal with an overbearing sister who tries to act like a second parent and belittle constantly.
How to know for sure if you are on the right path after quitting uni for a different life.
How to know if you should move back with your ex, the father of your children, when your relationship is great but you are no longer in love with him AT ALL.
Thank you for sending in the questions and keep them coming!
send them to info@dyfmpod.com
Danke!
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What does it ACTUALLY take to know someone?
Can you ever know a person outside of the role they play in your relationship with them?
If someone deceives you, does that mean you never really knew them in the first place?
And why does chemistry so often convince us we understand someone far more deeply than we actually do?
In this episode, I talk about the illusion of knowing and why familiarity, attraction, and emotional intensity can create a false sense of closeness.
I dive into limerence, the strange dynamics of online dating, and the way modern dating shows sell us a version of connection that looks convincing… but rarely reflects healthy love in the real world.
Let’s goooooo
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It's Voice Message headnoise day! I answer 3 of your Voice Messages you sent in!
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
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Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
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Head Noise: I’m Losing My Best Friend & My Partner Is 17 Years Older Than Me
In this Head Noise episode, we talk about two situations that can quietly reshape your relationships — friendship change and family judgement.
First, how do you deal with the fear of losing your best friend when they enter a new relationship?
We explore:
Why the friendship changing doesn’t mean the love is gone
How trying to control or hold on too tightly can push someone away
The difference between close and codependent friendships
Why fear can damage something that doesn’t need fixing
How to genuinely be happy for your friend when their life evolves
Then, what happens when your partner is 17 years older and your family isn’t on board?
i go into:
Learning to live with family disappointment
Why their concern often comes from protection, not rejection
The importance of keeping them in the loop
Why telling them sooner rather than later makes things easier
This episode is about allowing relationships to evolve without trying to force certainty, and learning to stay grounded even when others don’t fully understand your choices.
As always, Head Noise is about responding thoughtfully instead of reacting from fear.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
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Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you would like to send in a question email please email: info@dyfmpod.com or if you would like to send in a Voice Message go to dyfmpod.com
Join the DYFM Facebook Group
Follow @doyoufkingmind on IG
Follow @dyfmpodcast on TT
Follow @alexisfernandezpreiksa on IG
Follow @alexispredez on TT
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on IG
Follow @mindsetrecreationclub on TT
Order your Brain Journal here: www.mindsetrecreationclub.com
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Head Noise: My Partner Trauma Dumps, I Feel Like a Fraud at Work, and I Freeze in Conflict
In this Head Noise episode, we unpack three listener dilemmas that all come down to boundaries, self-perception, and finding your voice when things feel overwhelming.
We talk about:
Whether to stay with a partner who constantly trauma dumps — and how to figure out if the relationship is actually sustainable long-term
What imposter syndrome really is at a new job, and how to rewrite your self-talk so it becomes realistic and empowering instead of self-sabotaging
Why some people freeze during confrontation, and how to start responding instead of shutting down
This episode covers:
Emotional compatibility vs emotional exhaustion in relationships
Determining if your needs are being met — not just if you care about someone
Reframing “I’m a fraud” thinking into grounded, self-supportive internal dialogue
The psychology behind conflict freeze responses
How to make decisions that protect your energy and long-term wellbeing
If you’ve ever felt drained by someone you love, doubted your place at work, or struggled to speak up when it matters, this one will resonate.
As always, Head Noise is about cutting through emotional overwhelm so you can make clearer, calmer decisions.
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In this Head Noise episode, we’re unpacking three very different dilemmas that all come down to trust, discomfort, and self-honesty.
We talk about:
What to do when you get back with someone who previously ghosted you, and the trust issues won’t go away
How to build a relationship with your sister-in-law when you fundamentally don’t see eye to eye
Why you might want to leave a “lovely” boyfriend, and how to know if you’re making a mistake or finally listening to yourself
This episode covers:
Rebuilding trust after being ghosted (and whether it’s actually possible)
Why good on paper doesn’t always mean right for you
Fear of regret vs fear of staying stuck
Choosing peace over potential
If you’ve ever stayed because you were scared to hurt someone, gone back to someone who hurt you, or felt guilty for wanting something different, this one will hit.
As always, Head Noise is about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you make decisions that align with your self-respect.
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In this Head Noise episode, I answer three listener questions that sit right at the intersection of hope, attachment, and self-betrayal the kind of decisions that feel impossible when you’re emotionally involved.
We talk about:
Whether you should leave a life you love to move cities in the hope of finding a partner
What to do when your cheating ex wants you back, is in therapy, and swears they’ve changed, especially when you’ve already moved on with someone else
How to emotionally detach and move forward after being slowly ghosted by someone you thought things were going really well with
This episode breaks down the psychology behind:
Making life decisions from loneliness vs self-trust
Sex addiction, and the difference between change and intention
Why ghosting hurts so much
Choosing yourself without spiralling into guilt or doubt
As always, Head Noise episodes are about cutting through the emotional fog and helping you see what’s actually happening, so you can make decisions that protect your peace and self-respect.
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this one helps me get more collected
رابطه بین حس بویایی و مغز ،در این پادکست راجب حس عجیب بویایی و یاداوری صحبت میکنه . میکدولا و هیپوکامپ ،نزدیکی موقعیت این دوو بخش مغز چقد تاثیر گذاره .
oh my friggen good gid **god am I going through a mid life crisis but...... and then I jstvist it for formerly intellectual female. pretty good riddance sure. wtf like wtf!?!?!!?!? sorry sw÷Etienne but you seem strong and I was strong but holy shit. bags.
absolutely obsessed with this chick, she is the bomb!!!!
About the end story, I wanna tell her she is not the only one. Do not stop caring about yourself. You deserve the best.
Hi. Which city are you going to move to, if it's not a secret? I also recently moved my production facility, except that the usual movers weren't enough because of different conditions and circumstances. Thanks to an acquaintance, I was advised by Transload warehouse https://pnwwarehousing.com/transload.html, which moves products within the ports of Tacoma and Port of Seattle. The company itself is based in Puyallup, Washington. They moved everything as quickly as possible, so now I am already developing in a new place.
Thank you, I'm just about to move my business to another city.
Hello it’s about 1 week that I can’t play your podcasts any more! Is there any problem?
👌🏼
👏🏼♥️
Omg majdub means crazy in arabic :(
Thanks for this! I definitely have some elements of imposter syndrome and am driven by a fear of failure rather than a need to succeed, even at this stage in my career where I should know better! This was super helpful and articulated some things that I can work on. PS. This was my first time listening to your show, I have a playlist full of your content to work through now!
HBLY
àhďz5sh
great podcast
Hi, beautiful legend! Can I have an address or a link to the guy who you said you are doing Botox with? Thanks for all of your helpful podcasts, You should know you are the one who makes me more confident in my hard lonely time. love love love
thank you.
omfg I really relate with my exphyco. the worst thing is she reaching out having one-sided conversation. then get text to say wow great conversation. to me total bullshit. get out of my space.
loving the podcast, can you slow down your speed talking a touch please.
zThanks girls!! happy new year!