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Raising kids, strengthening relationships, and finding joy in the everyday—A Pair of Dads is where fathers come together to talk about it all. Hosted by Benny Lai, this podcast invites fellow dads and others to share their joy, insights, and experiences in parenting and life. Sometimes, we step back to observe the world around us, but at its core, this is a podcast about fatherhood, family, and the pursuit of a meaningful life.
41 Episodes
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What happens when the line between fan and friend disappears? In this episode, Benny and his Gen Z guest, Ian, dive deep into the world of "parasocial relationships". From the extreme behavior of K-pop "sasaeng" fans to the growing trend of marrying AI holograms, they explore why more people are seeking emotional connections with entities that don't even know they exist. Is this a harmless comfort for the lonely, or are we digging a grave for real human connection?
In this special Christmas episode, join Benny as he sat down with the remarkable Shirli Ling, an entrepreneur, content creator, and actress who became a grandmother at the young age of 36. In this powerful episode, that was recorded primarily in Mandarin, Shirli shares her incredible, unapologetic life journey, often contrasting it with her own challenging childhood to highlight the "so much love" she poured into raising her children as a single parent. Shirli's fierce resilience shines through as she discusses her refreshingly open approach to sex education with her kids , setting boundaries with her son's in-laws , and her pragmatic, "street smart" philosophy on finances and earning money. She opens up about the emotional turmoil of divorce and the hard-won wisdom of being the first to "put down the ego" for the children's sake. This conversation, conducted mainly in Chinese, offers an inspiring look at true personal strength, showing how going through life's toughest experiences can make one more pragmatic and resilient. Shirli is a woman who lives life completely on her own terms.
Ching and Rick, the passionate founders of Until 11:11, discuss why dating has become "very mechanical" and transactional.They open up about their mission: to host social mixing events for singles that go beyond mere networking, focusing on increasing "organic touch" and emotional attachment.They share success stories (even if their couples are 'low-key' about it) and reveal their plans to turn their unique numerology-driven matching concept into a reality dating show.
In this second part of the 2-part GTD in Sentosa series, hosts Benny and Roel dive into the controversial trend of Gen Y and Gen Z choosing pets over children.They confront their own "cringy" judgments about "fur baby" culture and discuss whether their generation's judgmental mindset is hypocritical.Join us as they explore the real reasons they had children and why the younger generation might be seeing bad examples in today's parents.
This episode has everything: old war history, the future of work, and a painful National Service story.While exploring Sentosa’s hidden trails, Benny recounts the most exposed moment of his life during a 32km commander march. Warning: it involves torn boxers and a very red backside.Plus, they explore why Roel thinks AI cooks are the solution to Singapore’s manpower crisis.
In a world that tells you to find 'The One,' why are so many Gen Zs in Singapore choosing to go solo? Ian and Sarah share their perspectives on whether the traditional relationship model is broken. They discuss how self-focus, personal development, and the fear of compromise are shaping a generation's view on commitment.
For some, games aren't a hobby—they're the priority. Join us as we dissect the exorbitant cost of modern gaming, from $100 titles to endless subscriptions.Benny explores the shift from "pay once" to "pay to look good" (or even "pay to win") with his guests, and why the industry is driving a major skills disparity between young people focusing on AI vs. those absorbed in chasing the next digital trophy.
Are you carrying your employees’ emotional baggage? Our hosts tackle the evolution of their management styles.Roel explains why he consciously shifted away from his earlier habit of deeply probing staff members about their personal problems. He shares why trying to be both a boss and a therapist is a "waste of time" that often leads to burnout.Learn the new mantra for professional management: "Don't probe. Listen."
After a long career at one place, you start to feel it: The 10-Year Itch.CK experienced it at HP, and now he's feeling the stagnation in his current institution, leading to a self-requested deployment. But leaving isn't just a career move—it's personal.We scrutinize the cost of uprooting when your workplace is also your social world. Tune in as we debate the difficulty of maintaining boundaries when friends are colleagues and colleagues are friends, and whether those deep personal bonds make taking a leap for professional growth exponentially harder.
In a new series, Go-The-Distance, GTD, Benny and CK took the conversations outdoors!In this first episode, what started as a conversation "about nothing" during a night hike, quickly turned into a deep dive on ethics and appearances.The duo explores the charged issue of domestic helper uniforms, the symbolic nature of Alfred the butler analogy for employment, and the sticky question of whether seemingly benign games, like the arcade claw machine, are actually unregulated scams. What do you think?
Actress Chermaine Kumar argues that while diversity efforts are important, "wokeism works against itself" by focusing too heavily on what divides us.She and Benny discuss the importance of having more open conversations to foster true understanding, rather than being quick to label every misunderstanding as "racism." \Hear Chermaine's definition of true racism and why she believes we need better dialogue to bring the majority and minority communities together.
In one of the most insightful moments of the episode, both dads discuss their differing parenting stance: when your kids face major life decisions (like career or education decisions), should we burden them with too many considerations that might become obstacles?This pair of dads wonder if parents should take a step back and provide only guiding questions so the children can explore the options and develop their own thoughts and narratives, ultimately making a decision that belongs entirely to them.
Benny sits down with his guests to discuss the future.In a wide-ranging discussion, they share their honest thoughts about why staying in Singapore "just doesn't make financial sense".Get a raw, personal perspective on the economic reality pushing young adults to save, hustle, and ultimately plan their lives abroad.
Is our modern, city-based lifestyle hindering our children’s development?We speak with Parenting coach Michelle Wee about the concept of “unnatural” city living, the impact of constant noise, and the importance of unstructured play.Michelle argues that by removing risks and over-scheduling our kids, we may be unintentionally limiting their potential for self-discovery and confidence.
Is purpose a monetary thing, or is it something more?Roel and I challenge the notion of "flat pay" and explore whether employees can find purpose when there is no financial incentive to go above and beyond. This episode also touches on the importance of recruitment in finding people who share your purpose and beliefs, ensuring that your team is a family, not just a group of individuals
Is the secret to a healthy relationship something you can learn in a class? While Benny believes structured courses are the key to preventing infidelity, CK and Jermyn passionately disagree. Listen in as we explore the controversial idea of "scheduled love" and whether intentional learning can save a marriage.
From a happy-go-lucky outfield warrior in the army to a founder of a forest school, Jenson shares his personal journey and the leap of faith he took to start his business.He reveals how his love for the outdoors, which he initially saw only from a physical perspective , evolved into a deeper, more meaningful philosophy about child development.This episode is a conversation about following your passion, finding purpose, and creating a life that is truly aligned with your values
In a segment that will have you on the edge of your seat, one of the podcast hosts makes a stunning confession: he was a bully in primary school.He shares a story of how he abused his position as a class monitor, extorted money from a female classmate, and had a friend take up martial arts to defend himself.This personal and vulnerable admission anchors a broader discussion on the long-lasting impact of bullying and the complex motivations behind it
In a world of constant connection, why do we feel more isolated than ever?
Join Benny and father-of-two, Roel, on a powerful episode of "A Pair of Dads" as they tackle a modern paradox: are we so focused on climbing the ladder of self-achievement that we're sacrificing the very things that make us happy?
Inspired by acts of graciousness displayed crowded trains, they dive into Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and question if our pursuit of personal success is coming at the cost of love and belonging.
This episode is a wake-up call to re-prioritize empathy and connection, challenging listeners to reconsider what truly matters in a hyper-individualistic world.
Tune in to find out if small acts of kindness can be the key to rediscovering our humanity.
In a powerful "A Pair of Dads" session, Benny, Ian, and Sarah explore the profound challenges facing youth mental health. Featuring a poignant personal story of a friend's battle with self-harm and recovery through faith and support, this episode shines a light on the critical role of understanding, empathy, and professional help. They discuss the surprising awareness of mental health issues even in young children , the journey of cultivating self-confidence, and practical ways to navigate the pressures of modern life.
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