ADHD Mums

This episode sits in a very specific moment: when nothing has technically happened, but your whole system reacts as if something has gone wrong.A message goes unanswered. A reply takes longer than expected. A conversation pauses.And suddenly, silence feels loaded.In this episode, Jane explores why those moments don’t register as neutral. They register as danger. Not because you’re dramatic or overthinking — but because past experiences have taught your system that silence can mean rejection, conflict, or loss of safety.The panic that shows up isn’t reactive. It’s predictive.And the relief that floods in when the reply finally comes? That’s not embarrassing. It’s data. Evidence that your system misfired a protective alarm — not that something is wrong with you.This is a recognition episode, not an explanation. It doesn’t teach you how to stop spiralling. It names why the spiral happens — and lets that understanding do the calming.In This EpisodeWhy silence is experienced as threat, not informationHow past social pain trains the brain to predict danger earlyWhy panic is terrible at writing messagesThe relief that comes when nothing was actually wrong — and what it provesHow overprotection develops from lived experience, not weaknessWhy this reaction is about safety, not self-controlThis Episode Is For You IfUnanswered messages make your whole body braceSilence feels heavier than wordsYou rewrite texts that didn’t need fixingRelief after a reply is followed by self-doubt or shameYou want recognition, not adviceBest Related EpisodesThese episodes deepen the same patterns of silence, rejection sensitivity, and misread threat.An RSD Story: Taking My Own Advice A personal lived experience of rejection sensitivity and shame loops. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/an-rsd-story-taking-my-own-advice-s1-ep9/Why Am I Bracing for Impact When Nothing Is Wrong? (Quick Reset) How the system predicts danger before there’s evidence. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-10-quick-reset-why-am-i-bracing-for-impact-when-nothing-is-wrong/When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet — What Your Body Is Doing and Why Hypervigilance and waiting for the social ‘drop’. 👉

If you’re standing at the edge of a new school year already feeling tight, alert, or on edge — this episode is for you.Not because you’re anxious.Not because you’re controlling.And not because you’re ‘that mum’.In this episode, Jane unpacks what actually happens for many mums as school resumes — especially those parenting neurodivergent children. The pressure to stay ahead. To manage outcomes. To prevent last year from repeating itself.What often gets misunderstood is this:that tension isn’t about wanting control.It’s about knowing what’s at stake.This episode explores the difference between regulation through behaviour and regulation through relationship — and why mums so often find themselves translating between systems that don’t speak the same language.Jane reflects honestly on her own controlling reactions, not as a flaw, but as a signal of care under pressure. The result is an episode that offers relief, recognition, and permission — not resolution.This is not a ‘back to school readiness’ episode.It’s an emotional exhale before the year begins.In This Episode, We CoverWhy the start of the school year activates so much nervous system stressHow last year gets carried forward in the bodyThe difference between caring, control, and influenceWhy mums are often labelled ‘that mum’ when they’re actually translating systemsRegulation through relationship vs regulation through behaviourHow fear of repetition drives over-functioningWhy letting go of control isn’t the same as giving upPermission to choose influence where control isn’t possibleThis Episode Is For You IfYou feel braced heading into the school yearYou’re worried about becoming ‘that mum’You’re carrying last year’s stress into this oneYou’ve had to advocate repeatedly for your childYou feel responsible for making the system workYou want relief and clarity, not another checklist🔗 Related EpisodesThese episodes sit in the same school-season and systems-translation lane, and deepen the themes explored here.Surviving the Mental Load of the School YearWhy mums carry the system stress, not just the logistics👉

If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too soft’ or that your child just needs firmer discipline — this episode is for you.Not because you need to learn how to parent better.But because the judgement itself is the problem.In this episode, Jane unpacks one of the most exhausting myths ADHD parents face:that challenging behaviour is a discipline failure rather than a regulation issue.When children melt down, struggle to comply, or can’t do today what they managed yesterday, the adult world often reads this as defiance, manipulation, or laziness. Parents are then pressured to punish harder — even when punishment clearly isn’t helping.This episode stands between you and that pressure.Jane explains why ADHD is not a behaviour to 'manage', why punishment backfires for dysregulated nervous systems, and why fluctuating capacity is not inconsistency or bad parenting. Most importantly, it names the quiet shame parents carry when they’re blamed for something that was never a moral failure to begin with.This is not a debate about discipline styles.It’s a defence of parents who are paying attention.In This Episode, We CoverWhy being told to ‘be firmer’ feels personal — and why it causes so much damageThe myth that punishment teaches self-regulation (and what it actually teaches instead)Why ADHD is not a behaviour problem but a developmental delay in regulationHow shame undermines self-esteem and worsens behaviour over timeWhy ‘they did it yesterday’ is a misunderstanding of fluctuating capacityHow inconsistent capacity gets misread as manipulationWhy punishment often increases defiance and emotional dysregulationThe difference between obedience and safetyWhy connection builds skills in the long term — even when it’s harder in the short termHow to hold boundaries without turning distress into a moral failureThis Episode Is For You IfYou’re constantly being judged for choosing understanding over punishmentFamily members question your parenting or dismiss ADHDYou feel blamed when discipline doesn’t ‘work’Your child copes one day and falls apart the nextYou’re exhausted from explaining yourself over and overYou know punishment isn’t helping — but feel pressured anyway🔗 Explore More From This EpisodeThese episodes deepen the themes discussed here and support the same values-driven approach.🎧Referenced in This EpisodeThe ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset)Why pressure backfires, and how shame and guilt shape behaviour and self-esteema...

You’re not behind.And you’re not failing at life.If you wake up already tired — before anything has even happened — this episode explains why.Not in a ‘here’s what to do’ way.In a ‘nothing is wrong with you’ way.In this episode, Jane names the invisible thing that keeps so many mums feeling behind, rushed, and quietly panicked even on calm days: carrying responsibility before it’s required.It’s why the phone ringing makes your body brace.Why waiting doesn’t feel like rest.Why you feel like you’re about to get in trouble — even when everything is fine.This isn’t anxiety.It isn’t disorganisation.And it isn’t you being dramatic.It’s what happens when your nervous system learned, very early on, that missing things had consequences — so it stayed alert just in case.This episode is about the mum who feels behind before she’s started…and the relief of realising she’s not behind at all — she just started carrying it too early.In This Episode, We Cover:Why you can feel exhausted even when nothing has gone wrongThe ‘I must have forgotten something’ feeling — and where it comes fromWhy your body braces when the phone ringsWhat it means to live in ‘standby mode’How responsibility can show up before it’s actually requiredWhy urgency feels real even when it isn’tThe difference between being behind and being earlyThe quiet permission to stop obeying the rushThis Episode Is For You If:You feel behind before the day even beginsYour body is always waiting for something to go wrongYou apologise or explain yourself before anyone asksQuiet days still feel heavy and tenseRest doesn’t feel like restYou want relief — not another strategy🎧 Quick Resets (Short, Bingeable Support)Quick Reset: Mum hack meal planning for when you’re already burnt outhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-43-quick-reset-mum-hack-meal-planning-for-when-youre-already-burnt-out/Quick Reset: Self-care feels nice. Self-regulation keeps you alive.

You’re not bad at relaxing.And you’re not doing rest wrong.If you’ve ever noticed yourself cleaning, tidying, or “finding something to do” in the very moments you’re supposed to be enjoying — this episode explains why.In this short but powerful conversation, Jane unpacks why so many mums feel restless, guilty, or half-revved when things finally go quiet, and why that response isn’t anxiety or a personal flaw. It’s learned usefulness — shaped by gendered conditioning and reinforced over time.This episode is about the mum who steps out of the circle of joy to make sure the moment runs smoothly for everyone else… and then wonders why she can’t settle when nothing is required of her.In This Episode, We Cover:Why doing can feel safer than enjoyingHow usefulness becomes tied to belongingWhat’s actually happening when rest feels uncomfortableWhy this pattern runs through generations of womenHow ADHD nervous systems stay alert when roles disappearWhy restlessness is role-consistent, not a failureHow to begin unlearning usefulness = worth (gently, slowly)This Episode Is For You If:You feel uneasy when things finally go quietYou clean or stay busy instead of enjoying momentsRest makes you feel guilty, restless, or exposedYou’ve been told you’re “bad at relaxing”You want to understand why your body stays alert — without blaming yourself🔗 Explore More From This Episode🎧 Related Podcast EpisodeADHD meds won’t fix everything — now what?https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-23-adhd-meds-wont-fix-everything-now-what/🎧 Quick Resets (Short, Bingeable Support)Quick Reset: Mum hack meal planning for when you’re already burnt outhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-43-quick-reset-mum-hack-meal-planning-for-when-youre-already-burnt-out/Quick Reset: Self-care feels nice. Self-regulation keeps you alive.

You didn’t fail your New Year’s resolutions.You survived a year that was heavier than the plans you made for it.I asked the ADHD Mums community how their New Year’s goals actually went last year — and the answers weren’t lazy, careless, or undisciplined. They were honest. Tender. Exhausted.This episode is a collective exhale for every mum who promised she’d get organised, rest more, yell less, move her body… and then found herself just trying to keep everyone alive.💬 What this episode really saysADHD mums don’t fail goals because they don’t care enough.They struggle because they’re already at capacity when they set them.🧠 In this episode, we unpack:Why New Year’s resolutions collapse for ADHD mums — especially in JanuaryHow burnout and survival mode sabotage motivation and follow-throughThe difference between ‘lack of discipline’ and lack of marginWhy long-term planning doesn’t work when your nervous system is cookedA kinder, ADHD-friendly alternative to goal-setting🎧 Listen & linksListen: https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/the-resolutions-none-of-us-actually-didResource: Energy Accounting Guide → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/🔗 Related episodesThe Year I’ve Decided Good Enough Is Enoughhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/good-enough-is-enough-year/Why Most Planners Fail ADHD Mums (And How to Finally Make One Work)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-why-most-planners-fail-adhd-mums-and-how-to-finally-make-one-work/QUICK RESET: The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/

If you feel like you’re failing at parenting because you’re constantly exhausted, flat, or shutting down — this episode is for you.This isn’t about trying harder or fixing yourself. It’s about understanding why ADHD and neurodivergent mums don’t just get tired — we get depleted.In This Episode, We Cover:Why exhaustion can feel like numbness instead of emotionWhat dopamine debt looks like in real lifeHow emotional labour quietly drains ADHD mumsWhy rest alone doesn’t fix burnoutHow to stop treating depletion like a personal failureFree Resources Listed:🎁 Get the Energy Accounting Guide: Download hereRelated EpisodesChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There👉 Click here to listenWhy am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?👉 Click here to listenQUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*ing Task👉 Click here to listenListener Question BoxHave a moment, question, or December story you can’t quite put into words?👉 Send a listener question or story here:Submit your question anonymously

What if the calm you felt last Christmas wasn’t a fluke — but a clue?In this episode, Jane responds to a listener who accidentally lost her Christmas list… and felt calmer than she ever had in December. Not because she stopped caring — but because the mental load finally dropped.This conversation explains why ADHD mums hit capacity faster at Christmas, why letting go feels terrifying, and why you’re allowed to be done even when the list never ends.What you’ll hear in this episodeWhy losing the list created instant calmThe difference between dropping tasks and dropping loadWhat allostatic load is — and why ADHD mums carry more of itWhy your body knows you’re done before your brain agreesHow to stop before you shatter, not afterFree Resources Listed:🎁 Get the Energy Accounting Guide: Download hereRelated EpisodesChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There👉 Click here to listenWhy am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?👉 Click here to listenQUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*ing Task👉 Click here to listenListener Question BoxHave a moment, question, or December story you can’t quite put into words?👉 Send a listener question or story here:Submit your question anonymously

I thought I was being polite.I thought I was keeping my options open.But somewhere between exhaustion, people-pleasing, and old survival habits, I abandoned myself — again.In this episode, I share the exact moment it clicked: my 'soft no’s' weren’t boundaries at all. They were apologies wearing polite outfits. And when everything finally caught up with me, my nervous system had already run out of fuel.This is a deeply human conversation about people-pleasing, the fawn response, ADHD overwhelm, and why saying no can feel genuinely unsafe — even when you desperately need to.Key TakeawaysWhy 'maybe' is not a neutral response when you’re exhaustedHow people-pleasing is a nervous-system survival strategy, not a personality flawWhat the fawn response actually looks like in ADHD mumsWhy overwhelm makes boundaries collapseThe hidden cost of keeping the peace🔗 Related Episodes & Recommended ListeningIf this episode landed for you, these conversations explore the same patterns of people-pleasing, masking, self-sacrifice, and nervous-system survival:Stop People-Pleasing: The ADHD Mum’s Guide to Boundaries, Balance, and Breaking Free👉 Listen hereYou Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now.👉 Listen hereHigh Camouflaging ADHD and ASD👉 Listen hereSelf-Sacrifice Is Not Your Friend (And Here’s Why)👉 Listen hereQUICK RESET: I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality👉 Listen here🤍 FB Group:If you want a space where you don’t have to explain yourself:👉 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group

December brings presents… and pressure. Family dynamics get loud, expectations get heavier, and suddenly you’re managing everyone’s feelings and your ADHD child’s reactions — all while trying not to implode.This episode answers a powerful listener question: How do I handle gift-opening with my ADHD/PDA child without feeling ashamed, judged, or like I’m failing? It’s not just about presents. It’s about generational conditioning, people-pleasing, masking, and the old belief that ‘being liked = being good.’What We CoverWhy ADHD/PDA kids may not react the “expected” way to giftsThe inherited ‘good girl’ conditioning mums carry into adulthoodFawning as a trauma response (and why it flares during Christmas)How masking is taught — and why many of us learned adult comfort > child honestyHow to script boundaries with family without apologisingWhat to do before, during and after gift-opening to reduce conflictWhy guilt shows up (and why it doesn’t mean you’re wrong)This Episode Is For You If…Your stomach drops any time someone comments on your child’s reactionsYou’re torn between protecting your child and appeasing adultsYou feel responsible for everyone’s comfort — except your ownYou want to break the ‘good girl’ cycle, but December makes it hardYou need language, scripts, and validation for navigating family eventsResources & Links Related Podcast EpisodesThe Good Girl EpisodeThe Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone ElseChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling ThereRelevant Tools & ProgramsFestive F* It Plan** — your calmer, kinder December blueprintADHD Mums Guide to Boundaries & Breaking Free from People-PleasingADHD Mum’s Guide to Managing Overwhelm During Busy Seasons Navigating Impulse Spending During the Holidays with ADHDCommunity & FormsListener Question Form  ADHD Mums Facebook Community — collective wisdom + real-life scriptsContent WarningThis episode touches on masking, childhood invalidation, and trauma-related people-pleasing patterns.Listen NowSpotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au

Silent rage at Christmas isn’t a personality flaw — it’s a nervous system collapse.In this episode, we unpack why ADHD mums hit overwhelm earlier and harder during December, why the “tiny straw” moments feel massive, and how the invisible mental load of Christmas pushes your brain into shutdown mode long before anyone notices.This is a compassionate, nervous-system-first explanation of why you’re so tired, so overstimulated, and so close to snapping… and why none of this is your fault.Key TakeawaysSilent rage = a responsibility overload response, not “being grumpy.”ADHD brains spend more effort on planning, remembering, switching tasks and emotional labour — Christmas multiplies all of these.The “tiny” trigger never is tiny — it’s the final task hitting a system already at capacity.Your body reads “too much responsibility” as danger, shifting into tension, heat, and shutdown.Sensory load + task load + emotional load = the perfect storm that makes Christmas feel impossible.You’re not the problem — the load is.Micro-shifts can interrupt the bracing response before it becomes collapse.Listen & LinksListen: www.adhdmuns.com.au/magic-of-christmas-but-im-grumpyFree resource: 👉 Download the Energy Accounting Guide🔗 Related Episodes‘The Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone Else’👉 Listen here‘The Year I’ve Decided Good Enough Is Enough’👉 Listen here‘Christmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There’👉 Listen here💬 Share / Vent / AskADHD Mums Facebook CommunityPost a #vent, get solidarity, and be witnessed by other mums who get it.👉 Join the Facebook groupListener Question BoxSend in your own ‘washing machine’ or ‘silent rage’ moment for future episodes.👉 Submit a listener question

Christmas isn’t “cosy magic” for many ADHD mums — it’s a high-pressure, high-sensory, invisible-load marathon that no one else sees. In this episode, Jane breaks down why holiday overwhelm hits harder, why silent rage feels frightening and unfair, and what your nervous system is actually doing long before the wrapping-night meltdown. You’re not failing Christmas — you’ve been carrying it.What We CoverWhy ADHD mums hit Christmas overwhelm weeks before the day arrivesThe collapse moment: when invisible load becomes unmanageableSensory + emotional overload during holiday tasksHow ADHD brains burn dopamine faster under combined pressureThe physiology behind “Christmas rage,” shutdown, and snappingWhy joy disappears when you’re the one creating the magicHow to shift the load, communicate earlier, and prevent holiday burnoutThis Episode Is For You If…You dread Christmas because you’re the one doing everythingYou crumble under the wrapping + fairness + noise + pressureYou feel guilty for not loving the seasonYou hit a snapping point you didn’t see comingYou wonder why one small question can tip you overYou want to understand what your body is actually trying to tell youKey TakeawayYour nervous system cannot enter joy while running executive load, sensory filtration, conflict prevention, and emotional labour. It’s not personal — it’s physiological.Resources & MentionsEnergy Accounting Guide — A tool to reduce invisible load and prevent overwhelmPerimenopause Self-Check (because hormonal load amplifies Christmas overload)🔗 Related Resources✨ Festive F*ck It Plan — your calm, realistic December planner 🆓 Free Resource: The Energy Accounting PDF🔗 Related EpisodesStop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My Child

If December already feels like you’re sprinting through wet concrete, this episode is your deep breath. Christmas asks ADHD mums to hold the magic and the mess — late-night wrapping, invisible labour, the Boxing Day guilt hangover — and still somehow feel like we’re not doing enough.This is the story of the year Jane finally said: good enough is enough. And maybe this is the year you get to say it too.💡 What We CoverWhy ADHD brains don’t recognise ‘done’The difference between maximising vs satisficing (and why one burns you out)The ADHD tax of “perfect Christmas” expectationsHow our reward loop drives over-performing and overwhelmHow to recognise your internal ding — when good enough is actually safe💬 For You IfYou’re carrying the emotional load + logistics + all the extras no one seesYou keep adding “just one more thing” to your already impossible listYou feel guilty resting, stopping, or being less “magical”You need permission to drop the bar, not raise it🎄 Resources & Mentions✨ Festive F*ck It Plan — your calm, realistic December planner 📘 The Paradox of Choice — Barry Schwartz on maximisers vs satisficers 🆓 Free Resource: The Energy Accounting PDF🔗 Related EpisodesStop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My ChildUnhealthy Habits & ADHD: Why We Get Stuck & How to ShiftQUICK RESET: How We Survive the 3–6PM Sh*t Show When Kids Are Coming Down Off Meds🎧 Listen now: Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au

Some days it feels like you need a medical degree just to parent a neurodivergent kid. The waitlists, the myths, the pressure to ‘get it right’ — it can all become overwhelming fast. In this episode, child psychiatrist Dr Mimi Xu finally gives mums clear, compassionate answers about ADHD meds for kids, without judgement or jargon.💡 What We CoverWhy ADHD medication is never a one-size-fits-all decision.When to see a paediatrician vs a psychiatrist — and why access is so broken.The truth behind ‘zombie kids’, personality changes, growth, appetite and sleep.What’s actually happening in the afternoon crash (and how to survive it).ADHD + Autism: does it change the medication conversation?What parents can do while they wait on endless public and private waitlists.💭This Episode Is For You If…You feel scared of meds, scared of not trying meds, or stuck between two parents who disagree.You’re drowning in the 3pm–6pm chaos when everyone’s meds (including yours) have worn off.You’re exhausted from uncertainty, judgement or mixed messages from professionals.You want clarity without shame, pressure or clinical coldness.You’re parenting a neurodivergent child and just need someone to explain things like a human.🧠 Resources & Helpful Tools📌ADHD Screening & Support Child ADHD Parent/Self-Test A good starting point for parents wondering whether ADHD traits are showing up at home or school. 🔗 https://form.jotform.com/251610961002444📌Medication-Specific Guides A Guide to ADHD Medication Perfect fit for this episode — covers stimulants, non-stimulants, side effects, appetite, sleep, titration and what’s expectedin the early weeks. 🔗 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/a-guide-to-adhd-medication/📌Related ADHD Mums Medication Episodes Stimulants vs Non-Stimulants – Solo Episode (S2E40) Jane’s clear breakdown of how different medications work and how they often feel in real life. 🔗 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-40-adhd-medication- stimulants-vs-non-stimulants-solo-episode-with-jane-mcfadden/ What Happens If You Don’t Have ADHD & Take ADHD Meds (S2E47) Important context for safety, myths, and co-parent disagreements. 🔗 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-47-what-happens-if-you-take-adhd-medication-without-adhd-solo-episode-with-jane-mcfadden/📝 About Dr Mimi XuDr Mimi Xu — Website (General Info + Resources)🔗 IG Account - https://www.instagram.com/drmimixu/🔗 https://www.child-psychiatrist.com.au/Lionheart Clinic 🔗 IG Account -...

If you’re already running on caffeine and obligation — this one’s for you. December has a way of convincing ADHD mums that magic only counts if it hurts. But what if “good enough” was actually enough?This week, Jane shares the story of the Christmas she finally stopped performing for everyone else — and started living it for herself.💡 What We CoverWhy ADHD brains struggle to know when to stopThe difference between maximising and satisfyingHow burnout hides under “just one more thing”The real cost of the ADHD tax at ChristmasWhy rest isn’t lazy — it’s regulation💬 For You IfYou’re drowning in invisible labour and still feel behindYou keep adding “just one more thing” to your listYou’ve ever spent more money, energy or guilt than you hadYou need permission to stop — before you collapse🧠 Resources & References🎄 Festive F*ck It Plan – Your ADHD-friendly Christmas plan: fewer tasks, more peace, and an actual vision for your Christmas too.🎄 Listener Question Form – Want to submit a question for the next episode? Share anonymously here.📚 Barry Schwartz – The Paradox of Choice🆓 Free Resource: The Energy Accounting PDF (Free Download)Kit Available: Managing Overwhelm During Busy Seasons🔗 Related EpisodesS2 E60 Stop People-Pleasing: The ADHD Mum’s Guide to Boundaries, Balance, and Breaking FreeS3 E17 QUICK RESET: How We Survive the 3–6PM Sh*t Show When Kids Are Coming Down Off MedsS3 E61 Unhealthy Habits & ADHD: Why We Get Stuck & How to Shift🎧 Listen now: Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.auJOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!FOLLOW FOR MORE:Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or

If you’ve ever thought, 'I’m just tired,' but deep down you think it’s more than that — this conversation is for you. Perinatal Mental Health Week isn’t about hashtags or general awareness. It’s about honesty.Jane speaks with Julie Borninkhof, CEO of PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia), about the hidden crisis facing new parents. One in three new parents who complete PANDA’s mental-health checklist report thoughts of running away or self-harm. Yet most never say, 'I’m not coping.' Together they unpack why we downplay our pain, why neurodivergent mums face even higher risk, and what real support looks like — beyond 'self-care' slogans.What You’ll HearThe confronting reality of PANDA’s national data — and why so many parents suffer in silenceHow unrealistic expectations and glossy 'good mum' culture stop women from seeking helpWhy perinatal depression looks different for neurodivergent mums — and how to recognise the signsPractical ways to check on a friend (or yourself) when you sense something’s not rightThe truth about the word failure — and how PANDA reframes it into survival and strengthHow better funding — and normalising help-seeking — could change the future for Australian familiesThis Episode Is For You If …You’re a new parent who feels constantly 'on edge' or ashamed for not enjoying motherhood.You’re supporting a friend who’s not herself and don’t know how to help.You’re neurodivergent and struggling to separate exhaustion from depression.You’ve ever wondered why asking for help feels so hard.⚠️ Trigger WarningThis episode discusses perinatal mental health distress and self-harm.Please take care while listening.Key TakeawayYou’re not broken — you’re overwhelmed. Being a good parent doesn’t mean being okay all the time. It means recognising when you’re not okay and reaching out before the darkness deepens. Help-seeking isn’t weakness; it’s leadership.Resources MentionedPANDA Helpline: 1300 726 306 | www.panda.org.au | 9 am – 7:30 pm AEST Mon–Fri | 10 am – 4 pm SatMental-Health Checklist: Check how you’re really going → panda.org.au/checklistLifeline (24/7): 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636Gidget Foundation Australia: www.gidgetfoundation.org.auFor When — Free parent mental-health support: forwhenhelpline.org.auRelated ADHD Mums Episodes🎧 CONFESSIONS: I Don’t Always Like Being a Parent — A brutally honest look at the guilt, grief and relief of saying what most mums secretly feel.🎧 CONFESSION: Mums wrote in anonymously… and what they shared wrecked me — The raw, unfiltered truth about motherhood’s darkest moments, shared anonymously by real...

If you’ve already cried in a shopping centre car park — you’re not alone.In this raw and funny ADHD Mums Christmas episode, Jane breaks down why the season feels like an emotional Olympics for neurodivergent parents — and how to stop performing and start protecting your energy.This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing less on purpose.Using the ‘Red Pen’ approach, Jane shows how to cross out what doesn’t deserve you, protect your peace, and rebuild your energy budget before the season eats you alive.What You’ll HearWhy Christmas feels like a group project where no one else is helpingThe emotional cost of being the peacekeeper and why it’s not sustainableUnderstanding ‘energy accounting’ — how much each task, event, and expectation actually costs your nervous systemWhy saying no is a nervous system upgrade, not a moral failureScripts for setting boundaries at Christmas without guilt or dramaHow to tell the difference between peacekeeping and real inner peaceThe myth of the ‘perfect Christmas mum’ — and how to reclaim joy by doing lessThis Episode Is For You If…You’re already dreading the family group chat.You’ve promised yourself a “simple” Christmas before… and still ended up crying in the pantry.You’re trying to keep everyone happy — and losing yourself in the process.You want a calmer, more meaningful holiday season without the guilt.Key TakeawayYou don’t need another list — you need a red pen. Peace doesn’t come from keeping everyone calm. It comes from choosing what actually deserves your energy.🧠 Resources MentionedThe ADHD Mums Festive Bucket List — A workbook to help you cross out everything that doesn’t serve you this Christmas. 🆓 Free Resource: Energy Accounting Guide (Free Download) — Learn how to track your daily energy budget and stop overspending it.Overwhelm & Busy Seasons Kit — Your practical toolkit for surviving December without burning out.✨ Sign up for: The Xmas Festive F*ck List — A workbook to help you cross out everything that doesn’t serve you this Christmas.Related ADHD Mums Episodes🎧 Christmas Chaos: Hacks for Surviving Family Drama, Sensory Overload, and Picky Eaters!🎧 Stop People-Pleasing: The ADHD Mum’s Guide to Boundaries, Balance, and Breaking Free🎧 How to Handle Family Criticism About ADHD: Boundaries and Keeping Your SanityListen Now🎧 Spotify | Apple Podcasts | ADHDMums.com.auJOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or...

When a child melts down in public or refuses to eat, the world sees “bad behaviour.” But often, what looks like defiance or poor parenting is actually neurodivergence — and a family doing their best in a system that doesn’t understand them.In this deeply validating conversation, Jane sits down with Tracey Jewel — author, advocate, and mum of a neurodivergent family — to talk about reframing “bad parenting” through a neurodiverse lens. From ARFID and sensory overload to the grief and joy of parenting differently, this episode challenges the idea of what a “good parent” looks like and celebrates authenticity over appearances.What You’ll HearTracey’s journey from reality TV to raising an ADHD + autistic son — and discovering her own diagnosisThe hidden grief of parenting a child who doesn’t fit the mould — and how to hold both love and loss at onceWhat ARFID really looks like in real life (and why it’s not just “fussy eating”)Why “structure” isn’t always the solution for neurodivergent families — and when it can become oppressiveThe difference between co-regulation and control: what actually helps during a meltdownHow to reframe “fairness” in families where everyone’s needs look differentThis Episode Is For You If...You’ve ever felt judged in public for your child’s behaviourYou’re raising an ADHD or autistic child and constantly second-guessing yourselfYou’ve wondered why “routine” doesn’t work for your family the way it seems to for othersYou’re craving a conversation that feels real, not sugar-coatedKey TakeawayWhat looks like chaos is often communication. When we stop chasing “good parenting” and start embracing true connection, our families thrive in their own rhythm — even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.Resources MentionedInclusive Mums Club — Tracey Jewel’s Perth-based and online community for neurodivergent families. Free membership and sensory-friendly events.ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) information — Raising Children NetworkDr Brené Brown — Atlas of the Heart and The Power of Vulnerability (on emotional awareness and co-regulation).Check out Tracey's IG: @traceyjewel_ify Related ADHD Mums Episodes🎧 The Emotional Load of Raising Neurodivergent Girls — And How to Lighten It — Finding compassion for...

Trigger WarningThis episode includes mentions of intrusive thoughts and parental burnout. Please take care while listening.Episode OverviewHave you ever gone from wanting to run away to feeling overwhelming love for your kids — all within five minutes? You’re not delusional. You’re devoted.In this raw and deeply relatable episode, Jane unpacks the wild emotional contradictions of raising neurodivergent children — the chaos, the guilt, and the strange, feral kind of joy that sneaks in when you least expect it.Drawing on the latest neuroscience and parenting research, she shares how joy isn’t mythical — it’s mechanical. There’s a recipe for it, and ADHD mums can learn to bring it back even in the middle of messy mornings and meltdown chaos.What You’ll HearJane’s honest story of one chaotic morning that spirals from meltdown to meaningWhy joy and rage can coexist — and what it means for ADHD brainsHow Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000) shows us the three switches for joy: Autonomy, Competence, and RelatednessWhat the “Nowhere I’d Rather Be” study revealed about parents of autistic children finding real joy because of, not despite, their childrenPractical micro-shifts you can make today to feel joy again — even if your house is held together by hair ties and hopeThis Episode Is For You If...You love your child but sometimes feel like you’re losing your mindYou’ve ever cried in the car after drop-off, then felt deep love minutes laterYou’re craving joy but feel too exhausted to find itYou need a reminder that devotion, not delusion, drives your parentingKey TakeawayJoy isn’t a reward for getting everything right — it’s a survival instinct. It hides in micro-moments of choice, competence, and connection. When you flip those switches, joy finds its way back.Resources Mentioned Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-Determination Theory: Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.Schultz, W., Dayan, P., & Montague, P. R. (1997). Reward Prediction Error: Science, 275(5306), 1593–1599.Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow. Harper & Row.Dietrich, A. (2004). Neurocognitive Framing: Consciousness and Cognition, 13(4), 746–761.“Nowhere I’d Rather Be” (UK study on autistic parenting joy, 2023)Related ADHD Mums EpisodesThe Lipedema Op: The Invisible Illness You Weren’t Supposed to Notice — Finding identity beyond diagnosisListen Now🎧 Spotify | Apple | ADHDMums.com.auJOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small,

💊 Why do ADHD meds seem like a miracle one week… and stop working the next?If you’ve ever sat there wondering if you’re failing because the meds don’t seem to work anymore — you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.In this episode, Jane tackles the most common questions ADHD mums ask about medication for kids. From appetite loss and 3PM crashes to puberty shifts and masking, we break down what’s really happening, why it feels so complex, and what meds can (and can’t) do.What We Cover in This EpisodeWhy ADHD meds can feel amazing at first — then glitch laterThe science behind appetite loss, afternoon crashes, and big emotionsPuberty, growth, and co-occurring conditions that change how meds landMasking at school vs meltdowns at home — and why it mattersWhy parenting burnout and school systems can’t be “fixed” by medicationReframing meds: support, not a cureThis Episode Is For You If…Your child’s ADHD meds felt like a miracle but “stopped working”You’re confused by side effects like loss of appetite or late-day crashesYou’ve blamed yourself for meds not doing enoughYou’re parenting through ADHD plus anxiety, autism, or sensory overloadYou need validation that you’re not failing — you’re navigating complexity✨ Listen now: ADHD Meds & Kids — Your FAQ Answered on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or adhdmums.com.au — because parenting ADHD with meds is hard enough without shame on top.Visit Dr Tommy Tran's website at https://www.drtommytran.com.au/JOIN THE COMMUNITY:Have questions or want to connect with other ADHD mums? Join our supportive Facebook group here and dive into the conversation. No question is too small, and I love answering in a group format!FOLLOW FOR MORE:Get daily tips, insights, and relatable content for ADHD mums by following me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTubeLEAVE A REVIEW:Love this episode? Your review means everything! It helps other mums find this content and feel supported. Let’s spread the word and make a difference together.COLLABS:For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.MORE RESOURCES:Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.