Badass Softie

We have more language for healthy communication, boundaries, and emotions than ever before. So why can our relationships still leave us feeling so disconnected? Dr. Lee Long believes part of the problem may be where we put our attention. When a conversation becomes difficult, we often focus on finding the right words to get the other person to understand, respond differently, or change. We may genuinely believe we’re trying to communicate better, without realizing how much energy we’re putting into managing the outcome. Dr. J.J. Peterson and Lee explore what changes when we bring some of that attention back to ourselves. They talk about the difference between influence and control, the stories we create when we assume we know what someone else is thinking, and why anxiety can make it difficult to recognize what we’re actually feeling. Lee also shares a simple question that can interrupt those patterns: Where am I in this? Because understanding where you are doesn’t mean avoiding the difficult conversation. It can help you decide how you want to show up in it. What This Explores Why trying harder to communicate doesn’t always create more connection When communication can quietly become an attempt to control the outcome The difference between influence and control How mind reading and old patterns contribute to conflict and disconnection What anxiety and other emotions may be trying to tell us How “Where am I in this?” can help us choose what to do next Connect with Dr. Lee Long Follow Dr. Lee Long on social media: @dr.leelong Learn more about Lee, his book Wait! Where Am I in This?, his podcast, and his work at drleelong.com.   Follow Badass Softie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badasssoftiepod/ Website: https://www.badasssoftie.com/

AI can write, research, organize, automate, and produce at a scale that would have been impossible for most people a few years ago. But Dan Cumberland thinks the more interesting question is what all of that frees you up to do. As AI takes on more of the execution, it can create room to go deeper—to spend more time on the ideas that are working, the problems worth solving, and the decisions that need your experience and judgment. It can also force a bigger question: If technology can perform more of the tasks you associate with your work, where do you bring the most value? Dan and Dr. J.J. Peterson explore what to hand off to AI, how to identify the deeper value you bring beyond the tasks you perform, and why the time AI gives back doesn't have to be filled with more work. Because the real opportunity may be letting technology do more of what it can do so you have more room for what only you can do. What This Explores How AI can create more room for higher-value work Where your experience, judgment, and perspective matter most How to identify the execution AI can take off your plate Why getting time back doesn’t automatically mean producing more How AI can help you go deeper on the work that’s already creating value Why human judgment and transparency matter as AI scales your work Mentioned Pacemark AI Maturity Assessment: pacemark.ai  AI Training Guide: aitrainingguide.com  Dan Cumberland Labs: dancumberlandlabs.com  Follow Badass Softie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badasssoftiepod Website: https://www.badasssoftie.com/

What do you do when a problem is so big that anything you could possibly do feels insignificant? On September 11, 2001, Dr. J.J. Peterson was thousands of miles from home, volunteering with a medical clinic in a rural village in the Dominican Republic. With almost no information and no way to change what was happening back home, someone in his group finally asked a simple question: “What can we do?” Twenty-five years later, J.J. still comes back to that question when the suffering in the world feels too big to hold, much less fix. He reflects on the difference between control and agency, Viktor Frankl’s idea of tragic optimism, and how we find meaningful ways to respond when some things simply can’t be fixed. What This Explores Why having no control doesn’t mean having no agency What Viktor Frankl meant by “tragic optimism” What research after 9/11 revealed about the search for meaning Why small acts of care still matter when the problem feels overwhelming A different question to ask when “why?” has no satisfying answer Mentioned in This Episode Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273  Website: https://www.drjjpeterson.com  Follow Badass Softie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badasssoftiepod Website: https://www.badasssoftie.com  

You’re used to being the person who follows through. So when plans change, it can feel personal. Dr. J.J. Peterson had just celebrated a year of Badass Softie without missing an episode. Then interviews moved, a new client required unexpected travel, his daughter left for college, and suddenly the plan he had been following no longer fit his life. Instead of simply adjusting, JJ found himself wondering if he was dropping the ball. But changing the plan isn’t the same as giving up on what matters. JJ explores why ambitious people can be so quick to judge themselves when circumstances change, why being harder on yourself may not actually help you move forward, and how to distinguish between abandoning a commitment and finding a different way to honor it. What This Explores Why changing the plan can feel like a personal failure The difference between changing your approach and giving up What unfinished commitments can do to your attention Why grace may be a better motivator than self-criticism Three questions to help you decide what moving forward looks like now Follow Badass Softie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badasssoftiepod/ Website: https://www.badasssoftie.com/

Something will eventually not go according to plan. Maybe a project doesn’t turn out the way you hoped, a difficult conversation catches you off guard, or life takes you in a direction you didn’t expect. You can’t control all of it, but you can get better at what happens next. Dr. J.J. Peterson talks with wellbeing educator, author, and Self-Care Sensei Jan Raeder about how knowing yourself can help you stay grounded when things get hard—and respond with more intention when they do. Drawing from positive psychology, behavioral change research, and 30 years in martial arts, Jan offers a different way to think about self-care. It isn’t only about stepping away from difficult things. It’s also about understanding your reactions, recognizing the stories you carry, and building the resilience to move forward without pretending everything is okay. What You’ll Take Away What happens when you start taking difficult conversations personally How old stories can shape the way you respond to what’s happening now Why challenging yourself can help you better understand what you’re capable of A simple practice for pausing and examining your reactions How to practice optimism without ignoring what went wrong Go Deeper With Jan Jan explores her M.O.R.E. framework—Meaning, Optimism, Relationships, and Engagement—in Strive for M.O.R.E.: What Wellbeing Really Means and How You Can Achieve It. If you want to put these ideas into practice and better understand what supports your own wellbeing, Get a copy of Strive for M.O.R.E. here - https://selfcaresensei.com/purchase  You can also learn more about Jan and her work as the Self-Care Sensei - https://selfcaresensei.com  Follow Badass Softie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badasssoftiepod Website: https://www.badasssoftie.com