Since You Asked with Lori Gottlieb and Gretchen Rubin

We share updates from listeners on forgiving yourself after a social misstep, using AI during relationship conflict, and the surprising research behind the workplace candy dish dilemma. We respond to a listener who feels uneasy about her boyfriend’s “work wife,” and isn’t sure what boundaries to set. Plus, Since You Askers weigh in: Have you become more like your parents or less like them as you’ve gotten older? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. You can also watch Since You Asked on CNN.COM/WATCH or the CNN app. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share updates from the mother whose adult son is ready to pull back from his difficult relationship with his father. We also hear from a parent whose eighth grader is being left out of group chats because his Android texts show up as green bubbles — and she’s torn over whether buying him an iPhone sends the wrong message. Plus, Since You Askers weigh in: Is it better to give a practical gift someone needs or one they’d simply enjoy? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. You can also watch Since You Asked on CNN.COM/WATCH or the CNN app. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share updates from listeners on messy rooms, constant texting for reassurance, and how to handle a sensitive conversation about bad breath. We respond to a question about being asked to keep a family secret by a dying father, and what it means when that secret affects everyone left behind. Plus Since You Askers weigh in: What’s something you’ve made peace with that used to upset you? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. You can also watch Since You Asked on CNN.COM/WATCH or the CNN app. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We both reflect on the experience of losing our fathers, and we share the advice that helped us during the early months and years–plus we discuss listeners’ insights and experiences.  We also respond to a listener who is uneasy about her husband’s new habit of consulting ChatGPT during arguments. Plus Since You Askers weigh in: What is something you stopped doing that made your life better? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share updates from listeners on donor conception, family secrets, and what it can look like to tell the truth with consideration. We respond to a question from a listener trying to decide whether her husband’s annual meet-up with his ex is normal–or a breach of trust. We also respond to a mother who feels pressure to create “magical” traditions for her kids, and worries she is overscheduling family life. Plus, Since You Askers weigh in: What’s your best—or worst—Valentine’s Day? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We respond to a mother’s question about whether her adult son should keep seeing his father when every visit turns into criticism. We also hear from a listener who apologized for a thoughtless comment, was not forgiven, and still feels stuck in shame two years later. Since You Askers weigh in: When is it justified to tell a lie? Plus, author and TV personality Chrissy Teigen asks how to be a better friend when life gets busy. Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share updates from listeners on the visiting-parents dilemma and where to draw the line when family comes to stay. We respond to questions about boundaries that leave people feeling rejected, including a boyfriend who wants constant texting for reassurance and parents who get upset when teens share information that the grandparents don’t want to hear. Plus Since You Askers weigh in: Have you ever made a small decision that completely changed your life? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We return for Season 2 with updates from listeners on gift-giving pressure, Botox honesty, and setting boundaries around family expectations. We respond to a question from a listener unsure whether to say something to a loved one about an uncomfortable issue involving a persistent smell. We also check in on whether we actually followed our own advice from last season about how to have a happier holiday. Plus Since You Askers weigh in: If someone needs to hear a hard truth about themselves, would you rather it come from family or a close friend? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We hear listener follow-ups about an overindulgent grandmother, a coworker’s communal candy dish, and a solution to a conversational one-upper. We also give advice to a listener struggling with her father having a baby with a partner close to her age, and another who wonders if she should say something when a friend’s Botox may be going too far. Since You Askers weigh in: Are high school reunions worth attending? Plus we close our first season with advice people say they give most often, including from actor David Duchovny. We’ll be back for Season 2 in the new year! Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share updates from listeners on setting family boundaries and lingering post-wedding blues. We respond to questions about a grandparent who gives the kids anything they want, and a friend trying to change her sports team’s schedule for her own convenience. Plus Since You Askers weigh in on proper restaurant etiquette: How do you handle a friend who’s a demanding diner? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us atthesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We hear updates from listeners about messy rooms, family gift-giving, post-wedding blues, and one-upping friends. We also respond to questions about whether visiting parents should stay in a hotel, and how to resist a sweet temptation at work. Plus Since You Askers weigh in: How important are your family’s holiday traditions? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re joined by actors and longtime partners Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody to answer listener questions about how to handle a family member who creates drama at get-togethers and how to set boundaries with loved ones. They also open up about their long marriage—the two times they separated, how they found their way back, and the best (and worst) advice that came out of it. Listen to Mandy and Kathryn’s new podcast, Don’t Listen to Us! available wherever you get your podcasts. Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity. Mentioned in this episode:“Stop It!” – Bob Newhart sketch on YouTubeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We answer questions about a friend who can’t stop one-upping and the tensions around family gift-giving. We share follow-ups about family secrets and post-wedding blues, and bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert asks, “How do we stop worrying when people we love make bad choices?” And Since-You-Askers weigh in: Do you enjoy getting texts from friends and family throughout the day—or find it annoying? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We tackle questions about “post-wedding depression” and annoyance with a teen’s messy room. We also hear updates from listeners—one who stumbled across a major family secret, and one who is breaking up with her hairstylist. Plus Since You Askers weigh in: Is the holiday season your favorite time of year, or not? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We respond to a question about how to tell a 14-year-old the truth about being conceived through egg donation, and explore the ripple effects of family secrets. We also respond to a listener who’s unsure how to end a long relationship with her hairstylist, and why those breakups can feel so personal. And we hear your thoughts on our advice from episode 1. Plus, Since You Askers weigh in: When it comes to being on time, what’s your view? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We follow up on last week’s advice about dealing with a flakey friend. We also respond to a question about cheating and its effect on a friend group, and debate whether a husband should finally accept a trait his wife says she will never change. Since You Askers weigh in: Has dishwasher technique become a “loaded” topic in your household? Plus, even celebrities need advice — bestselling author and podcast host Mel Robbins asks us to help her through the one thing she cannot figure out. Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We follow up on last week’s advice about who should bear the burden of maintaining connections with parents. We also respond to questions about a group text that’s spiraling into harsh words; a friendship worn thin by years of last-minute cancellations; and a new mother who fears her husband isn’t bonding with their baby. Plus, Since You Askers weigh in: Would you tell a friend that their kids are behaving badly? Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In our very first episode of Since You Asked, we respond to a listener asking, “Should I make an effort to include my husband’s family in our plans, even if he doesn’t bother?” We also tackle a question about a couple who keeps having the same fights over and over. Since You Askers weigh in on the debate about whether to tell a friend if you think the person they're dating isn’t right for them. Plus, we react to stories about unsolicited advice that backfired. Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi everyone, it’s Lori. Today we’re sharing another episode from my other podcast, Dear Therapists, where my fellow therapist Guy Winch and I do real sessions you can sit in on, offer practical interventions, and then hear how these interventions worked out after the session. Today’s session is with Jason, who still carries emotional scars from his childhood. Now married and with children of his own, Jason is aware that his parents are aging and wants to be a good son, and wonders how to navigate these relationships while also freeing himself to enjoy the adulthood he worked so hard to create.  So you’ll hear his letter, we’ll bring him on live for the session, give him some homework to do, and hear how it all went when he put it into practice. I think you’ll find this session valuable in your own life too.  To hear more sessions, go to Dear Therapists wherever you listen to podcasts.   We’ll be back for Season 2 in the new year! Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked & Dear Therapists is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi everyone, it’s Lori. This week and next, we’re sharing my other podcast, Dear Therapists, where my fellow therapist Guy Winch and I do real sessions you can sit in on, offer practical interventions, and then hear how these suggestions worked out after the session. Today’s session is with Jennifer, whose fiance exchanged romantic messages with an old girlfriend and Jennifer feels stuck about how to address this in her relationship. So you’ll hear her letter, we’ll bring her on live for the session, give her some homework to do, and hear how it all went when she put it into practice. I think you’ll really enjoy this and also earn something about yourself along the way.  To hear more sessions, go to Dear Therapists wherever you listen to podcasts.   We’ll be back for Season 2 in the new year! Have a question or advice to share? Leave a voicemail or write to us at thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com. Follow along with Gretchen (@gretchenrubin) and Lori (@lorigottlieb_author) on Instagram for the latest on the show. Subscribe to Since You Asked on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Since You Asked & Dear Therapists is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical, mental health, or other professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional with questions about your own situation. By sending us your question, you agree we may use it on the show and edit it for length or clarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.