The Liberation Effect

In this solo episode, Helen responds to a listener who feels at breaking point in a relationship shaped by chronic stress, emotional withdrawal and fear. With two young children in the home, she explores the weight of being expected to absorb a partner’s distress, manage the emotional atmosphere, and question your own character for reacting to behaviour that feels unsafe. Losing patience is often framed as a personal failing, but this episode challenges that belief directly, reframing it as a signal that boundaries have been crossed for too long.Helen unpacks the difference between explanation and excuse, especially when stress is used to justify shutting down, lashing out or emotionally disappearing. She speaks to the impact on children, the danger of walking on eggshells, and how childhood trauma can make people more likely to self blame rather than name harm. The episode also addresses financial fear, preparation rather than panic, and the importance of protecting emotional safety without minimising reality. This is a compassionate exploration of accountability, patterns, and the right to stop tolerating what hurts. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This week Helen is joined by Lucy, and together they explore the lasting impact of growing up with criticism, shaming and emotional chaos. Despite years of therapy and increased awareness, Lucy still carries a harsh internal voice shaped by her relationship with her mother, particularly around her body, appearance and worth. Confidence was treated as something dangerous, and self acceptance often led to ridicule or punishment, leaving Lucy hyper aware of how she is seen and quick to turn against herself.The episode looks at how body shame and self loathing can become coping strategies in homes where safety is unpredictable and love feels conditional. Lucy reflects on growing up around fear, conflict and instability, and how focusing on her body became a way to gain control when everything else felt overwhelming. It is an exploration of projection, survival and identity, and the slow work of separating your own truth from the voices that taught you to stay small.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen speaks with Kate about the kind of guilt that forms when a child learns to survive by explaining away harm. Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home taught Kate to stay agreeable, take responsibility and protect her parents from accountability, even when their behaviour caused lasting damage. A central thread in the conversation is Kate’s reflection on her mother potentially being autistic, and the painful question of whether understanding that context changes, or excuses, the abuse she experienced.Together, they explore how children internalise blame when a parent cannot attune, regulate or repair, and how compassion is often confused with self erasure. Kate speaks about the fear of anger, the pressure to be fair at her own expense, and the belief that holding someone accountable is unkind. Helen challenges this directly, separating explanation from excuse and naming the cost of silencing your own experience.This is a conversation about guilt, power and the right to name harm, even when you understand where it came from.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this conversation, Helen speaks with Sarah, who has carried a sense of not being good enough since childhood. Growing up in an environment where curiosity was treated as defiance and undiagnosed ADHD was seen as naughtiness, Sarah learned early that safety depended on silence, compliance and taking the blame. As an adult, that history lives on in self blame, people pleasing and the fear of letting others down. Together they explore how old coping mechanisms form in the absence of safety, how quickly internal voices can take over, and why worthiness can feel frightening even when you long for it.The conversation touches on grief for the child who tried so hard, the tension between knowing you are a good person and feeling unworthy, and the relief that comes when familiar patterns repeat, even at your own expense. It is honest look at what it means to slowly imagine a life where worth is not something earned, but something felt.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen sits with Evie as she unravels the painful chain reaction that followed the betrayal of a long-term friend. What began as a rupture in a twenty one year friendship opened the door to something much older. Memories of a childhood shaped by a narcissistic mother, the loss of her father, and years spent surviving rather than becoming herself. The fallout has stirred insomnia, nightmares and flashbacks, as well as a grief for the identity she feels she never had the chance to form.Together they explore how familiar patterns repeat in friendships and relationships, why suppressed trauma can erupt when a safe person is lost, and what it means to rebuild trust from the inside out. The conversation looks at anger, self blame and the longing to be understood, and it gently shifts the focus from the behaviour of others to the power Evie has to choose herself now. It is an honest and reflective dialogue about identity, boundaries and beginning again after years of being shaped by someone else’s story.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this episode, Helen speaks directly to the challenges of parenting when your own childhood was marked by fear, invalidation or emotional neglect. Drawing on the questions she is asked most often, she explores why a child’s big feelings can feel overwhelming to a parent with trauma, how rescue becomes a survival strategy rather than support, and why holding both connection and boundary is the foundation of safety for a child.Helen unpacks the difference between old nervous system reactions and present day parenting choices, and offers compassionate guidance on repairing after you lose your temper, recognising when you are parenting your inner child instead of the child in front of you, and staying steady when your child rejects you or pulls away. She speaks honestly about the grief that can surface as you watch your child receive the care you never had, and the responsibility that comes with breaking long patterns of control, shame or emotional burden.Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationUntangling love from duty when independence was denied.In this episode, Helen speaks with Isabel about the impossible guilt of growing up as the able-bodied sibling in a family built around care, control and expectation. From childhood, Isabel was told she would one day be responsible for her disabled sister, a message that shaped her identity and left little room for her own life or freedom.Together they explore what happens when love becomes obligation, when guilt is weaponised by a parent, and when the desire for independence collides with deep compassion. The conversation touches on glass children, emotional parentification, and the pain of being invisible except when needed. Helen helps Isabel begin to untangle love from duty, and recognise that protecting herself does not mean abandoning care.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this conversation, Helen is joined by author, coach and trainee psychotherapist Harriet Shearsmith to explore the emotional landscape of going no contact with a parent. Through listener questions, they speak to the grief that comes with choosing distance, particularly the longing for the parent you never truly had and the ache of not having a senior adult to lean on when life feels heavy.Harriet reflects on growing up enmeshed and responsible for her mother’s feelings, and how difficult it can be to recognise your own needs when you were raised to anticipate and absorb everyone else’s. Together, they discuss the pain of losing not just a parent but the version of safety and care you hoped they could provide, and the quiet courage it takes to build that safety elsewhere.This episode holds space for the anger, the sadness and the relief. It is a thoughtful and validating conversation about boundaries, grief and the slow work of becoming your own safe place.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this continuation of her story, Catherine speaks with Helen about the lasting effects of growing up unheard and disbelieved. Together they unpack the tension between wanting connection and fearing exposure, and how self-protection can harden into invisibility. Catherine reflects on her instinct to stay small, control her surroundings, and apologise for taking up space, tracing each habit back to moments she was ignored or criticised.Helen gently helps her rebuild a new narrative, where boundaries, autonomy and curiosity replace the need to overexplain. Their exchange captures the quiet hope that visibility can exist without threat, that being seen can mean being met rather than judged.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn part one of a two-part story, Helen speaks with Catherine about growing up unseen in a family where silence, perfection and religion shaped her sense of worth. Together they explore how childhood invisibility can follow us into adulthood, in relationships, work and even the body, showing up as discomfort with being noticed, fear of conflict or the drive to perform for love.The conversation looks at the lasting impact of emotional neglect, comparison and dismissal, and how learning to be visible again means rebuilding a sense of safety in being known. It is a tender, honest discussion about self-worth, visibility and the slow work of learning to take up space.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application In this solo Q and A episode, Helen answers questions from the community on parenting ADHD, navigating school systems, and understanding late diagnosis. She explores why children are regulated at school and fall apart at home, how to reduce demands without losing boundaries, and what parents can do when teachers misread overwhelm as defiance. Helen offers clear guidance on scaffolding, co-regulation, and advocating for ADHD needs in environments that expect compliance over connection.She also speaks to the emotional impact of discovering ADHD later in life, including grief for the child you once were, the pressure to mask, and the exhaustion of trying to meet neurotypical expectations. With compassion and practicality, Helen invites listeners to release self-blame, get curious about their nervous system, and build relationships rooted in safety, understanding and support.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application In this week’s episode Helen meets Sarah, who shares her experience of estrangement after years of gaslighting, blame, and denial from her mother. Together they explore what happens when a parent refuses accountability, rewriting the past to protect their image and leaving their child burdened with guilt. Sarah opens up about the grief of realising she may never be chosen, the pressure to keep peace at her own expense, and the slow process of reclaiming her story. The episode reflects on how survivors can begin to separate truth from narrative and find strength in naming what really happened.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationThis week’s episode centres on the impossible balance between seeing the truth of a parent’s behaviour and still being in contact with them. Liz joins Helen to explore how conditioning, guilt, and fear of rejection can keep survivors tied to painful family dynamics. Together they unpack the cost of managing a relationship that demands silence, how “not making a fuss” becomes a survival strategy, and the courage it takes to choose peace over performance.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Helen is joined by Erin, a Hub community moderator and trainee therapist, to answer a listener’s question about living with a narcissistic mother while coping with complex PTSD. Together they unpack how ongoing contact can trigger emotional flashbacks, why people pleasing and hyper-independence often develop as survival strategies, and the hard choices involved in setting boundaries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, originally released on our premium feed, Helen is joined by Jo Reader and Cat Chappell, psychotherapists and the voices behind The Fat Counsellors, for an unflinching and affirming conversation about shame, fatphobia, and the stories we inherit about our bodies.Together, they explore how body image is shaped by intergenerational trauma, how fatphobia shows up in therapy, family systems, and medicine, and the cultural myths that keep us chasing thinness at any cost. Jo and Cat share how their own experiences as fat therapists led them to create powerful spaces for others to unpack internalised bias, challenge societal norms, and reconnect with their bodies on their own terms.This is an episode about autonomy, dignity, and unlearning, offering a starting point for anyone questioning the narratives they’ve been handed about weight, health, and how this interlaces with self- worth.Find out more about The Fat Counsellors and their transformational Unravelling Body Shame workshops here: https://www.thefatcounsellors.co.uk/Unlock all Hub Bytes episodes for a small monthly subscription or included with your Hub membership. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Helen talks with Lucinda, who is raising two neurodivergent children while breaking free from the patterns of a difficult childhood. Together they explore how she supports an autistic son through friendship struggles, helps an ADHD daughter manage big emotions, and finds ways to set firm yet compassionate boundaries. Lucinda shares the loneliness of carrying the mental load, the relief of small breakthroughs, and the quiet strength it takes to create a home that feels safe, loving and truly her own. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this powerful episode, Scarlett opens up about leaving a religious cult, the shock of being discarded by her entire family, and the grief of realising her parents never loved her in the way she needed. She and Helen explore what it means to parent after trauma, to live with the echoes of fat phobia, shame, and control, and to try to build an identity after years of being told who to be. Their conversation touches on resilience, fragmentation, neurodivergence and the small, steady steps of reclaiming herself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

⁠⁠Apply to be on the show.In this powerful conversation, Helen speaks with Sabrina, who was abducted by her mother as a child and raised far from her biological father. Now, at 40 and newly diagnosed as autistic, she is reconnecting with her father while still caught in the emotional grip of a controlling mother.Together they explore the lifelong impact of enmeshment, secrecy, and guilt, and how Sabrina has been taught to protect her mother’s feelings above her own needs. She shares the pain of being made responsible for everyone else’s emotions, the fear of being seen as “bad” for wanting more, and the struggle of deciding whether she can risk honesty without losing her family.Through the conversation, Helen helps Sabrina untangle fear from responsibility, recognise her right to know her father and heritage, and begin to imagine a future where her choices are not defined by her mother’s control.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Apply to be a guest on the show.In this episode, Helen speaks with Elizabeth, who has gone no contact with her father and is now questioning the role her late mother played in enabling his behaviour. Once seen as her safe person, her mother’s minimising responses and final letters revealed a truth Elizabeth has struggled to face.Together they explore the grief of realising lost protection, the weight of guilt and responsibility, and the anger that comes with uncovering how secrecy and shame shaped her childhood.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen is joined by Jada, who opens up about the death of her abusive mother and the painful legacy it has left behind. Jada reflects on how her mother not only failed to protect her from her father’s abuse but also manipulated and controlled her well into adulthood. Now, six months after her mother’s death, she is faced with complex emotions of anger, grief, shame, and the question of whether to share the truth of her past with her two young adult children.Jada speaks candidly about her children’s very different experiences of their grandmother, the shame she feels for raising them under her roof, and the confusion that comes with suddenly having the freedom to speak when her voice was suppressed for so long.Content warning: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse and discussions of suicide and cancer.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe