The Liberation Effect

This week, Helen is joined by Erin, a Hub community moderator and trainee therapist, to answer a listener’s question about living with a narcissistic mother while coping with complex PTSD. Together they unpack how ongoing contact can trigger emotional flashbacks, why people pleasing and hyper-independence often develop as survival strategies, and the hard choices involved in setting boundaries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, originally released on our premium feed, Helen is joined by Jo Reader and Cat Chappell, psychotherapists and the voices behind The Fat Counsellors, for an unflinching and affirming conversation about shame, fatphobia, and the stories we inherit about our bodies.Together, they explore how body image is shaped by intergenerational trauma, how fatphobia shows up in therapy, family systems, and medicine, and the cultural myths that keep us chasing thinness at any cost. Jo and Cat share how their own experiences as fat therapists led them to create powerful spaces for others to unpack internalised bias, challenge societal norms, and reconnect with their bodies on their own terms.This is an episode about autonomy, dignity, and unlearning, offering a starting point for anyone questioning the narratives they’ve been handed about weight, health, and how this interlaces with self- worth.Find out more about The Fat Counsellors and their transformational Unravelling Body Shame workshops here: https://www.thefatcounsellors.co.uk/Unlock all Hub Bytes episodes for a small monthly subscription or included with your Hub membership. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Helen talks with Lucinda, who is raising two neurodivergent children while breaking free from the patterns of a difficult childhood. Together they explore how she supports an autistic son through friendship struggles, helps an ADHD daughter manage big emotions, and finds ways to set firm yet compassionate boundaries. Lucinda shares the loneliness of carrying the mental load, the relief of small breakthroughs, and the quiet strength it takes to create a home that feels safe, loving and truly her own. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this powerful episode, Scarlett opens up about leaving a religious cult, the shock of being discarded by her entire family, and the grief of realising her parents never loved her in the way she needed. She and Helen explore what it means to parent after trauma, to live with the echoes of fat phobia, shame, and control, and to try to build an identity after years of being told who to be. Their conversation touches on resilience, fragmentation, neurodivergence and the small, steady steps of reclaiming herself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

⁠⁠Apply to be on the show.In this powerful conversation, Helen speaks with Sabrina, who was abducted by her mother as a child and raised far from her biological father. Now, at 40 and newly diagnosed as autistic, she is reconnecting with her father while still caught in the emotional grip of a controlling mother.Together they explore the lifelong impact of enmeshment, secrecy, and guilt, and how Sabrina has been taught to protect her mother’s feelings above her own needs. She shares the pain of being made responsible for everyone else’s emotions, the fear of being seen as “bad” for wanting more, and the struggle of deciding whether she can risk honesty without losing her family.Through the conversation, Helen helps Sabrina untangle fear from responsibility, recognise her right to know her father and heritage, and begin to imagine a future where her choices are not defined by her mother’s control.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Apply to be a guest on the show.In this episode, Helen speaks with Elizabeth, who has gone no contact with her father and is now questioning the role her late mother played in enabling his behaviour. Once seen as her safe person, her mother’s minimising responses and final letters revealed a truth Elizabeth has struggled to face.Together they explore the grief of realising lost protection, the weight of guilt and responsibility, and the anger that comes with uncovering how secrecy and shame shaped her childhood.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen is joined by Jada, who opens up about the death of her abusive mother and the painful legacy it has left behind. Jada reflects on how her mother not only failed to protect her from her father’s abuse but also manipulated and controlled her well into adulthood. Now, six months after her mother’s death, she is faced with complex emotions of anger, grief, shame, and the question of whether to share the truth of her past with her two young adult children.Jada speaks candidly about her children’s very different experiences of their grandmother, the shame she feels for raising them under her roof, and the confusion that comes with suddenly having the freedom to speak when her voice was suppressed for so long.Content warning: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse and discussions of suicide and cancer.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

The Fawn Response has been declared a primary trauma response, but is it really? Understanding this distinction between primary and secondary response is vital because it empowers you to be able to manage it. You don’t have to fawn! And if you’re feeling the need to, either your relational pattern is playing out, or the person you’re with isn’t safe. Never shame yourself for surviving, it’s amazing you got here. Take care, Helen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.comIn this episode, Helen is joined by psychosexual therapist and author Juliet Grayson for a rich and illuminating conversation about trauma, boundaries, and the power of body-based therapy.

What if shame has been speaking louder than your voice?In this follow up to last week’s conversation, Sinead returns to talk with Helen about the deeper roots of her anxiety, guilt, and fear of speaking up. Through guided imagery, Sinead explores the physical sensations tied to her voice: a hot, jagged feeling in her chest and a tight grip in her stomach. Both have long worked to keep her safe from the consequences of speaking out.Helen helps Sinead meet “Mr Guilt”, the shadowy figure who has been with her since childhood, shaped by years of control, secrecy, and the belief that serving others was the only safe choice. Together, they explore how guilt became her most familiar emotion, how it has been used to control her, and how it continues to shape her decisions.By the end, Sinead begins to imagine a different way forward, one where her voice can be used for her own needs and where guilt might guide rather than silence her. It is a conversation about understanding the body’s warnings, loosening shame’s grip, and making space for self trust.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the silence after going no contact was louder than any fight you imagined?In this first part of a two-part episode episode, Sinead joins Helen to share the emotional aftermath of going no contact with her grandmother and the family system that enabled harm. Raised primarily by her grandparents, Sinead unpacks a childhood shaped by coercion, manipulation, and control. What she was told was her choice now reveals itself as something else entirely. Her grandmother enforced strict emotional rules, weaponised guilt, and used comparisons to keep her in line, while her grandfather remained passive in the face of it all.As Sinead reflects on the silence that followed her decision to step away, she speaks honestly about the identity crisis that surfaced in its wake. Without guilt as a guiding force, she feels untethered, unsure of who she is or what she’s allowed to feel. Together, she and Helen explore the legacy of emotional neglect, survival-based behaviours, and the fear of becoming like the very people she had to leave behind. This is a deeply validating conversation about letting go of inherited shame, rebuilding self-trust, and beginning to choose who you want to be.Content warning: This episode discusses abortion and emotional abuse.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com

What if the moment you chose yourself was the moment they turned against you?In this episode, Lola joins Helen to share her story of surviving an emotionally abusive marriage and the painful fallout that followed. Raised in a household where love came with conditions and silence was expected, Lola entered her first long-term relationship as a teenager. What followed was years of emotional entrapment, manipulation, and failed attempts to leave, all under the weight of cultural and family pressure.When Lola finally made the decision to walk away, she was met with humiliation, rejection, and a devastating lack of support. She describes the isolation that followed, including being gaslit, coerced into couples therapy, and eventually made homeless. Yet through it all, she held on to a quiet determination to survive and rebuild. Now living abroad with her independence reclaimed, Lola reflects on the emotional toll of reactive abuse, self-blame, and the fear of connection after betrayal.This is a powerful conversation about scapegoating, identity loss, and the slow work of self-trust. With clarity and courage, Lola shares what it means to heal on your own terms and find safety after being told you do not deserve it.Content warning: This episodes contains discussions of coercive control and emotional abuse.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if feeling your emotions meant risking everything that keeps you safe?In this episode, Stephen joins Helen to explore the collapse of his coping systems after becoming a father. As a neurodivergent parent living with autism and ADHD, Stephen reflects on how the unpredictability of raising a toddler has triggered early patterns of fear, control, and emotional self-protection. He speaks openly about growing up in an environment where feelings were unsafe, religion was weaponised, and perfection was the only path to acceptance.Together, they explore the dissociative gap between knowing and feeling, the shame of not being able to access emotions, and the fear that if he lets go, everything will fall apart. Helen gently invites Stephen to consider what it might cost to feel more deeply, and what it might make possible. This is a powerful conversation about emotional impermanence, parenting after trauma, and the slow work of learning to trust yourself when no one ever taught you how.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the hardest part wasn’t what happened, but what it meant about who you were?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Louise speaks with Helen about the long-term impact of childhood emotional abuse. She shares how years of being controlled, shamed, and repeatedly told she was “too sensitive” left her doubting her instincts and shrinking herself to survive. What unfolds is a powerful conversation about the cost of being silenced, the confusion of loving people who hurt you, and the quiet strength it takes to begin telling the truth.Together, they explore the inherited roles that keep families functioning at your expense, the shame of not feeling “bad enough” to ask for help, and the slow rebuilding of self-worth after decades of internalised blame. Louise speaks with clarity and courage about becoming someone she trusts again, and choosing a life that no longer revolves around being easy to love.Content warning: This episode contains references to covert sexual abuse. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if love meant always being available, even when it cost you your future?In this episode, Christine speaks with Helen about growing up with a mother who expected complete emotional and practical availability. She shares how her life was shaped around her mother’s needs, including being asked not to get a job, not to go to university, even to plan her days around minding the dog. Christine reflects on how these constant, unreasonable demands blurred the line between love and control.Together, they explore the guilt of saying no, the pressure to stay small and agreeable, and the work of reclaiming autonomy after years of self-abandonment. Christine speaks with honesty and insight about learning to disappoint others in order to protect herself, and the slow process of becoming someone who lives by choice, not obligation.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the person who hurt you most was the one everyone protected?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Emily speaks with Helen about the long shadow of sibling abuse, and the emotional cost of growing up in a family that denied her reality. She shares how her mother’s repeated refusal to acknowledge what happened left her isolated, gaslit, and cast as the source of the problem.Together, they explore the deep confusion of being harmed and then blamed for it, the long road to rebuilding self-trust, and the clarity that comes with naming what was never allowed to be named. Emily speaks with honesty and conviction about her choice to remain no contact, her decision not to forgive, and the freedom that comes from choosing herself after years of being erased.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if protecting yourself came at the cost of everything familiar?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Elizabeth shares the story of a life reshaped by bold decisions. After walking away from toxic workplaces, family estrangement, and an abusive relationship abroad, she found herself free, but deeply alone. She and Helen explore what it means to honour the choices made for survival while grieving what was lost along the way.Together, they unpack the tension between strength and sadness, self-trust and self-abandonment. Elizabeth speaks candidly about navigating estrangement, sobriety, and grief, and the quiet ache of not knowing how to access love. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the way you parent reveals the parts of you that are still hurting?In this episode, Lucy explores the uncomfortable truth that she finds her daughter more triggering than her son, even when they display the same behaviours. What unfolds is a powerful, emotionally honest conversation about the legacy of childhood rejection, and how easily unhealed wounds can echo through the next generation.Helen helps Lucy trace the roots of her inner critic, the shame she carries around being “too much,” and the fear of what it would mean to truly honour her younger self. From family dynamics that blamed her for others’ behaviour to the belief that love must be earned through perfection, Lucy brings humour, clarity and real insight to a story that will feel painfully familiar for many.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if being the good child meant being the forgotten one?In this episode, Charlotte joins Helen to explore the long shadow of emotional neglect, people-pleasing, and being cast as the family scapegoat. As a child, Charlotte learned to stay quiet, meet expectations, and avoid conflict. But underneath the surface was a deep loneliness, a constant pressure to be easy, and a silence that cost her a sense of self.Together, they unpack how roles like “good girl” or “too much” get assigned to children without their consent, and how those labels can shape your entire identity. Charlotte shares the pain of being punished for setting boundaries, the grief of realising her parents never truly protected her, and the courage it takes to finally trust your own voice.This is a conversation about survival, clarity, and the moment you decide to stop carrying a story that was never yours.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe