Equal-ish

What does “equal-ish” look like when you’re no longer a couple? This was a question Kate and Rachel have been pondering for a while. In this powerful conversation, mediator and parent coordinator Traci Cherrier joins Rachel and Kate to unpack the emotional and practical realities of co-parenting after separation. From navigating the grief cycle to shifting from intimate communication to business-like collaboration, Traci offers grounded, compassionate guidance for families in transition. But there was so much of the conversation that we can all take into our journey to be more equal-ish. We explore:Why one partner may already be “ahead” in the grief processThe difference between cooperative and parallel parentingHow to move from a victim mindset to empowered decision-makingWhy documenting agreements clearly can reduce future conflictAnd the most important question mediators ask couples at oddsAt the heart of it all is one powerful idea: even when your relationship changes, your shared hopes for your children can become your glue.This episode is essential listening for anyone navigating separation — or supporting families who are.Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this After the Interview episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino unpack the conversations they couldn’t stop thinking about after speaking with behavioural economist Dr Corinne Low. Corinne Low, PhD is an associate professor of business economics and public policy at the Wharton School, and the author of Having It All (Femononics in the UK).We reflect on what it really means to bring “ruthless practicality” into how we choose partners, and how we raise children who might one day want equalish relationships of their own. From the hidden economics shaping how couples value time, money, and care, to the emotional backlash many women feel when they invest time in themselves, this episode explores the tension between rational decision-making and deeply ingrained social norms.We sit with some of the hardest questions the data raises: why the years when childcare and household labour peak are often the most strained for relationshipshow easily these conversations can slide into gender blame whether outsourcing domestic work genuinely lightens the load, or simply shifts responsibility and privilege elsewhere.There are no easy answers here. Just honest reflections on how couples are trying to navigate love, work, parenting, and fairness inside a system that was never designed to support them.Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

In this episode of Equal-ish, Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs are joined by economist and author Dr. Corinne Low, whose book Having It All blends rigorous data with deeply human stories about work, love and parenthood.Corinne takes us inside the economics of the modern household — explaining why gender equality at home has stalled, why parenting time has exploded, and why women’s stress and burnout aren’t personal failures but predictable outcomes of a broken system. Drawing on time-use data, labour market research and behavioural economics, she unpacks the myths we still cling to: from romanticising the 1950s household to assuming equality will “sort itself out.”Together, we explore invisible labour, status quo bias, reproductive capital, and the parenting “arms race” that’s making family life feel impossible — especially for working mothers. Most importantly, Corinne offers a practical, empowering reframe: how women can stop trying to “lean in” to a broken system and instead renegotiate work, partnership and parenting on more sustainable terms.If you find yourself asking: Why does this still feel so hard, and what can we actually do about it? This conversation is for you.Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this first After the Interview episode of Equal-ish, Kate and Rachel reflect on their conversation with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands, and explore the tensions that lingered once the microphones were off.We explore what happens when couples are encouraged to “support the career that earns more”, and why that logic might reinforce traditional roles rather than disrupting them.In this conversation we unpack:Why money decisions are never just economicHow our money scripts (shaped by childhood, gender norms and past experiences) quietly drive conflictHow income differences can turn into power imbalancesWhy focusing on efficiency can erase ambition, identity and careWhy missed caregiving time is a loss we rarely measureRather than offering tidy answers, this episode invites you to hold the complexity. We leave you with this one question:  What decisions are you making now that the future you might regret?Find out more about Modern Husbands here:Modern Husband’s websiteModern Husbands: Family Financial Planning Calculator  Subscribe and Follow to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Achieving balance in both parenting and finances can feel overwhelming for couples. In this episode of Equal-ish, hosts Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino delve into the importance of teamwork in financial management with Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands. Join us as we explore how childhood experiences shape our money habits, how gender norms around money, care, and breadwinning quietly shape our relationships — and often limit both partners.Brian shares:Why he defines equality as equal leisure time, not 50/50 task listsHow outdated breadwinner expectations still shape men’s choices (and anxieties)Why early childcare and career decisions compound financially for decadesHow couples can think of their household as a shared micro-economyWhy money conflicts are rarely about money — and what they’re really about insteadThis conversation offers a grounded, emotionally honest look at what it really takes to build a fair, sustainable partnership in modern family life. Find out more about Modern Husbands here:Modern Husband’s websiteModern Husbands: Family Financial Planning Calculator Dr. Claudia Goldin’s research on the gender pay gapSubscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Explore the science of modern parenthood, attachment, and partnership during our reflections from our interview with evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin. Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to our Most Fundamental Need. She is the lead scientist for the new dating app LoveJack.In the coaching edit, Kate and Rachel go deeper into the science, and the practical implications, of what equal parenting really means, offering key insights for couples who want to parent as a true team.Key Takeaways:Dads are naturally caregivers – Emotional detachment in fathers is socially constructed, not biological. Fathers’ hormones respond to caregiving, just like mothers’.Attachment matters – Children thrive with multiple attachments; strong parental bonds support resilience and pro-social behavior.Emotional intimacy fuels parenting – High emotional connection between partners increases confidence and involvement in dads.Invest in your relationship before baby arrives – Conversations about values, roles, and expectations build strong foundations for equitable parenting.Redefine gender norms – Challenge traditional ideas of motherhood and fatherhood; write your own parenting scripts.Social networks are vital – Romantic love isn’t the only important bond. Friendships, family, and community connections boost happiness and health.Click here to download the free values activitySubscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to listen to the next episode. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this episode, evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin challenges everything you thought you knew about fatherhood. From hormone shifts and brain changes to the unique ways dads build attachment, Anna unpacks why fathers are wired to be caretakers, not just breadwinners, and how their involvement shapes resilience, social skills, and mental health in children.Kate and Rachel dive into:The evolutionary roots of fatherhood and why caregiving, not earning, is innate.How dads uniquely “scaffold” children’s growth and prepare them for the world.The importance of secure attachment, sensitive parenting, and playful involvement.Why societal norms and workplace cultures, not biology, often prevent dads from fully engaging.How couples can use pregnancy to prepare for parenthood, maintain relationship strength, and navigate the early years together.This episode is essential listening for any parent, partner, or parent-to-be who wants to understand the science behind equal parenting, and how to put it into practice in today’s world.Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist, writer and broadcaster who is world renowned for her work into the science and anthropology of human love and fatherhood.  She is the author of the Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and Why We Love: The Definitive Guide to our Most Fundamental Need.  She has written for The New York Times, The Observer and The Guardian among others, works regularly with the BBC and national and international broadcast media and recently appeared on The Diary of a CEO podcast.  She is the lead scientist for the new dating app LoveJack.Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In the final episode of the season (and year!), Kate and Rachel unpack three themes that surfaced in their conversation with Alex Trippier and reflect on what the past year of Equalish has taught us about navigating parenthood and partnership. The discussion explores why parenting demands a process-driven mindset, why being a strong parent doesn’t automatically make someone a strong partner, and how couples can move out of echo chambers and into real dialogue.Parenting Is a Process, Not a Results GameBeing a Great Parent vs. Being a Great Partner Getting Out of the Echo Chamber Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Discovering concepts like mental load, matrescence, and motherhood ideals really can fundamentally reframe your understanding of parenting as a partnership.In today’s conversation, Rachel, Kate talk to Alex Trippier, host of the Be a Happier Parent podcast about his fatherhood journey, the strain young children put on his relationship, and the turning point—from believing he was an “involved dad” to realising he had completely missed the invisible emotional, cognitive and cultural pressures shaping his wife’s experience. It’s time to redefine fulfillment as a father beyond achievement and into meaningful family connection.Here are two of the Be a Happier Parent episodes that we referenced in our interview: The magic of caregiving with Elissa Straus What do dads do? With Steve BiddulphThese are the books Alex referenced:The Motherhood Complex by Melissa HogenboomMatrescence by Lucy Jones Fair Play by Eve Rodsky Beyond Baby Talk by Rachel Childs Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

Kate and Rachel dig into the interview with psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts, turning a rather theoretical interview into practical actions. Why should we expect to change? How can we change together? How can we have these hard conversations with each other without playing the blame game and getting defensive?You are both going to change. It’s not “you vs them.” Think of it as “us vs the pattern.” Empathy is everything. How to re-write your own script.If you like Sarah, you can find her services here. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Today Kate and Rachel talk to psychotherapist Sarah Fishburn-Roberts to explore the distinctions and intersections between couples therapy, coaching and facilitation - and when to reach out for extra support.  (Spoiler alert - we all need it. And the practitioner you find is as important as the process you choose). If you like Sarah, you can find her services here. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. 

Using father’s mental health as a starting point, Dr Fisher emphasized that it is really the “family system” that requires our attention. Kate & Rachel love this, and devote today’s coaching edit to go deeper into what family system caretaking looks like. He might not be fine, even if he says he is fine. Everyone can, and does, experience trauma. Fertility issues and difficult births affect all parents. It is not just about taking paternity leave, but HOW you take it. It is never too late to rebuild your team. If something isn’t working, don’t give up. Bring in a new offensive coach and swap out your talent.Kids can reinforce sexism, too! We need to be intentional about combatting stereotypes even with our own kids. You can find more about Dr. Fisher’s work and practice here.Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Pregnancy and birth should be all about mom, right? Well - no, not really. In this episode Kate and Rachel talk to Dr. Sheehan Fisher from Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. Dr Fisher is a paternal mental health specialist - and agrees that mom’s health needs to be at the core of the conversation. But it’s good for ALL of us when we ALSO take into account dad’s health needs. Dr Fisher is an Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. His research and clinical interests focus on father’s mental health during the perinatal period and their impact on the family dynamic and child outcomes. Dr Fisher’s research examines the hormonal and socio-environmental factors that contribute to the etiology of postpartum depression in fathers and mothers. In turn, the impact of paternal and maternal postpartum depression on parenting behaviors and infant/child outcomes is investigated. His clinical work specializes in behavioral therapies for fathers and couples during the perinatal period.You can find more about Dr. Fisher’s work and practice here.Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

We’re told the UK has paternity leave, but the reality for families says otherwise. Kate and Rachel reflect on what George Gabriel, co-founder of the Dad Shift, shared about how outdated systems, mixed messages and cultural norms are holding dads back, and what that means for the emotional and practical load inside relationships. This is the truth behind paternity leave, and why change matters for every couple.Here are some of the statistics we shared to help your personal business case for your paternity leave: For organisations offering “paid family-leave” (which covers parental/paternity) more than 80% reported a positive impact on morale, and more than 70% reported increased productivity. Boston Consulting Group80% of employees report they feel more committed to their employer when they have access to flexible family-friendly policies (including enhanced parental leave). Inspiring Dads74% of employees said they were more likely to continue working for their employer.43% of UK employers now offer enhanced parental leave and pay rates (i.e., above statutory minimums). Employee Benefits  The Dad Shift is just one of a number of organisations campaigning for better parental leave rights. Find out more, and support the work that all these incredible campaigns are doing. If we’ve missed any, do tell us!The Dad ShiftPregnant then ScrewedThe Fatherhood InstituteWorking Families Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Women are socialised throughout their lives to be a mother. Meanwhile most dads won’t hold a baby until it’s their own. 90% of dads want to be more involved in their children's lives but we’re still prioritising a mother’s relationship with their children over a dad’s. Insufficient paternity leave is having serious consequences for families, men’s mental health and our ability to feel like equal partnerships.  In today’s conversation, Rachel and Kate speak with George Gabriel, CEO and co-founder of The Dadshift, about the importance of paternity leave and the changing landscape of fatherhood. We explore the challenges faced by new fathers, the need for supportive policies, and the cultural narratives surrounding masculinity and fatherhood. The Dad Shift is just one of a number of organisations campaigning for better parental leave rights. Find out more, and support the work that all these incredible campaigns are doing. If we’ve missed any, do tell us!The Dad ShiftPregnant then ScrewedThe Fatherhood InstituteWorking Families Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

Kate & Rachel wallow in all the nuances around gate keeping… including personal reflection that we do it too! Many women have been socialized to believe that to be valuable, they must maintain power and knowledge of the home. But this isn’t a great receipt for equal-ish households. Instead, Kate & Rachel suggest…. There’s no pretty way to say this: gatekeepers need to do some self-reflection. Look at your family’s roots. Where did you learn your patterns? Do you need a reboot? We need to regularly and intentionally interrupt social patterns. Decide together what words will we use when we notice gatekeeping going on?Remembering that your family is a system, which includes family, friends, providers, and neighbors. And they all might have a role in gatekeeping or gateopening. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for just one more week, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcastFind out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

If the outcome you are seeking is equal partnership, why do mothers subconsciously put barriers up to it? Today Kate and Rachel talk “all things maternal gatekeeping” with Dr. Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, who is a Professor of Psychology at The Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio. She is a nationally and internationally recognized expert on coparenting, father-child relationships, and the transition to parenthood. Interested in learning more about Dr. Schoppe-Sullivan’s work? Find out more here. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for one more week, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! You've got 8 days left to grab yourself a pair of Equal-ish socks! Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcastFind out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. In this episodes we tell you that that next we have Dr Sheehan Fisher talking about paternal mental health. That was the plan, but he's coming later in November now, first up we have George Gabriel from the Dad Shift.

Kate and Rachel dive into the Dr Allison Daminger interview to discuss how you can really share the cognitive labor. Listen now to hear our tips on how toDefine balance for yourselfWhy parental leave and new norms matterHow to change your family scriptConnect on the thinking and doing tasksChallenge the barriers we all faceWant more language on the difference between cognitive labor, emotional labor, and the mental load? Check out this article by Kate.Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! We have a crowdfunding campaign live for the next 2 weeks. We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Your support means the world to us, thank you: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcastFind out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

The household divide is greater than we think it is. It’s so much more than the physical tasks - it’s all the thinking and feeling work that goes along with the physical work. And that is why we feel it so deeply; we have an emotional reaction to household labor because household tasks are far more than cooking and cleaning.Kate and Rachel are joined this week by Dr. Allison Daminger, an assistant professor of sociology at UW-Madison and the author of the new book What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. Her research focuses on how and why gender shapes family dynamics, particularly the division of work and power in couples. In this conversation, Kate & Rachel ask Allison all about cognitive labor (a term, by the way, that SHE defined) particularly in the context of parenting and household responsibilities. This interview was perfectly timed, as Allison herself is a new mom and, with her partner, is working to put theory into practice. Get your copy of What’s On Her Mind: https://www.allisondaminger.com/book Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. And for a short while, you can also be part of building Equal-ish! Our crowdfunding campaign is live now! We have some great rewards for all levels of engagement, and multiple ways for you to get involved. Please help us grow Equal-ish and get this out to the thousands of parents that could benefit. Support today: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcastFind out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

In this coaching edit, Kate and Rachel break down key themes from their interview with Marvyn. Marvyn Harrison is the founder of Dope Black Dads, a globally recognised platform exploring fatherhood, masculinity and mental health and is shaping conversation around Black fatherhood and redefining modern masculinity. The work starts with you… and continues with others We need to acknowledge that society makes parenting hard for menFocus on who you are NOW - not the PAST YouWhat are the economics of Equal PartnershipIs it boundaries or balance that you need?To be a great parent, you need to be a PALS first. Listen to find out exactly what that means  Dad groups are new-ish! If you’re looking for one to join (or be inspired about starting your own) check out these existing groups: Dope Black DadsAll Parents Welcome Andy’s Man ClubDad MattersThe Company of DadsBrooklyn Stoller ClubDad GuildFind out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.