I Wish You Could Hear This

Summary:  Parents naturally want to protect their kids from disappointment and failure—but sometimes our help can actually get in the way of their growth. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff talk about the growing trend of “snowplow parenting,” where parents try to clear every obstacle out of their child’s path. Through stories, research insights, and practical wisdom, they explore how well-meaning parents can unintentionally prevent their kids from learning resilience and responsibility. You’ll hear why allowing natural consequences can actually be a gift—and how to support your kids without removing every challenge in front of them.  For Parents Only https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-1/ https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-2/ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary  In this second part of our powerful two-part series, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn continue their heartfelt conversation with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, diving even deeper into the healing journey after sexual addiction and betrayal trauma.  Building on the foundation of honesty and vulnerability discussed in Part 1, this episode unpacks what it takes to truly rebuild trust and intimacy in a relationship that’s been deeply wounded. The Raabsmiths offer practical, grace-filled guidance for couples, emphasizing the importance of structured healing, safe community, and sustained emotional connection.  You’ll hear how couples can move forward, not just surviving, but genuinely thriving through intentional steps, compassionate support, and the redemptive work of God. This is a vital conversation for anyone longing to understand the path to restoration and hope.  If you missed Part 1, be sure to go back and start there for the full picture of this profound dialogue.  Resources:  https://raabsmithteam.com/free  Building True Intimacy  https://www.amazon.com/Building-True-Intimacy-Creating-Connection/dp/B0CHCLTDZJ/?tag=shaunticom-20 Secrets of Sex and Marriage book   For referral resources: secretsofsexandmarriage.com   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary  This episode is part one of a two-part conversation that we simply couldn’t keep to one week. !t’s that powerful!  Dr. Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith to tackle one of the most painful but crucial topics in relationships: sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. With deep empathy and rich insight, the Raabsmiths, a couple who are both trained professionals and seasoned by personal experience, share the emotional and relational toll of betrayal and the courageous journey toward healing.  They explore the critical roles of honesty, vulnerability, and structured support in recovery, highlighting how both partners contribute to rebuilding trust and intimacy. You'll hear practical, research-backed strategies for couples, as well as how the church can be a safe and redemptive place for those walking this road.  Don’t miss this compelling conversation, and be sure to come back next week for Part 2, where we go even deeper into the healing process and the hopeful road forward.  Resources:  https://raabsmithteam.com/free  Building True Intimacy  Secrets of Sex and Marriage book   For referral resources: secretsofsexandmarriage.com   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this insightful episode Jeff and Shaunti, along with Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, delve into the deeper layers of love languages, unpacking not only the five primary categories but also the nuanced dialects within each one. With warmth and expertise, they explore how the concept of the “love tank”—our emotional reservoir—impacts relationships and why empathy is the key to truly speaking each other's language. The conversation highlights practical tools like the Five Love Languages Assessment and the “My Heart Chart,” offering listeners accessible ways to foster connection. Through real-life stories and actionable guidance, the Parrotts empower couples to bridge communication gaps and build lasting intimacy—one intentional act of love at a time.  Links and Resources https://www.amazon.com/Love-Language-That-Matters-Most/dp/0802438903/?tag=shaunticom-20 For assessments and more details: www.5lovelanguages.com https://www.myheartchart.com/ LesAndLeslie.com Social media- IG: @Lesandleslie; X: @LesParrott; Facebook: @Lesandleslieparrott Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this insightful episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Dr. Gary Chapman, renowned author of The Five Love Languages and The Five Languages of Apology. Together, they explore how understanding both love and apology languages can radically improve relationships. Dr. Chapman unpacks the five core ways people express and receive love—and explains how offering sincere, well-matched apologies can be just as vital to healing and connection. The conversation highlights the power of empathy, emotional communication, and forgiveness in maintaining strong, healthy relationships. Whether you're married, dating, or simply want to love others well, this episode offers powerful tools to deepen your relational bonds. Links and Resources: www.5lovelanguages.com The Five Languages of Apology Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn unpack one of the most overlooked sources of conflict in marriage: the very different ways men and women process thoughts and emotions. Drawing on two decades of research, they explore why many women experience ongoing “open windows,” lingering worries or mental tabs that are hard to close and why many men may not even realize those windows are still open.  With practical insight and empathy for both sides, Shaunti and Jeff explain the brain-based and physiological differences that shape how we handle stress and disagreement. Most importantly, they offer simple, powerful ways spouses can respond in moments of tension, turning misunderstanding into connection. If you’ve ever felt like you and your spouse were missing each other emotionally, this conversation will give you fresh clarity and practical tools to build deeper understanding.  Resources: Gur, R. C., & Gur, R. E. (2017). Complementarity of sex differences in brain and behavior: From laterality to multimodal neuroimaging. Journal of Neuroscience Research, 95(1), 189–199. https://doi.org/10.1002/jnr.2383  FOR MEN ONLY  FOR WOMEN ONLY     Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary:  What are young couples really wondering about as they step into engagement and marriage? In this special and deeply personal episode, Shaunti and Jeff sit down with their daughter Morgen and her fiancé Ben—just weeks before their wedding—to talk candidly about readiness, trust, faith, conflict, finances, sex, and what it really means to commit for life. Drawing from both lived experience and decades of research, this conversation blends heart, humor, and practical wisdom for engaged couples—and for parents walking alongside them. Resources: The Secrets of Sex and Marriage The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn share their personal journey with MediShare, a healthcare sharing ministry, as they navigate rising medical costs and their own health challenges. They welcome Dr. Ian Day, Chief Medical Officer at MediShare, to unpack how the program works, its biblical roots, and the powerful sense of community that distinguishes it from traditional insurance. Together, they explore how MediShare integrates emotional and spiritual support into healthcare, emphasizing the role of prayer and the holistic vision of biblical wellness—caring for body, mind, and soul. Links and Resources:  About CCM | Christian Care Ministry Medishare.com/serve Or text “serve” to 70246 Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the power of intentionality in building strong relationships, especially in marriage and parenting. Instead of aiming for perfection, they encourage listeners to simply focus on doing “the next right thing.” Drawing on research insights, they unpack how small, everyday wins create real momentum, fueling both hope and motivation. The conversation also touches on the crucial role of community, encouragement, and practical steps that foster deeper connection and long-term growth.  Links and Resources: HBR article https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins The Good News About Marriage  The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages   jointhekindnesschallenge.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this inspiring and down-to-earth episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, hosts of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast, for a candid conversation about reigniting intimacy and connection in marriage. The DiLorenzos open up about their personal journey through seasons of challenge and renewal, including how the bold decision to start a 60-Day Sex Challenge reshaped their relationship. Together, they unpack the vital role of intentionality, transparency, and vulnerability in marital intimacy, while offering practical steps any couple can take to grow closer. Drawing from their "Six Pillars of Intimacy"—emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual—they reveal how addressing each area can transform not just a couple’s sex life, but their whole marriage. The episode also explores how everyday distractions, especially technology, can erode connection—and what it looks like to reclaim time and attention for each other. Whether you’re newly married or decades in, this conversation is full of actionable wisdom for building a more extraordinary marriage.   Links and Resources: oneextraordinarymarriage.com 6pillarsofintimacy.com intimacymastery.com Vulnerability Blog Series Part 1 Vulnerability Blog Series Part 2 Vulnerability Blog Series Part 3 Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages Book on Amazon Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of anger, challenging the conventional wisdom that venting is a healthy way to manage it. They discuss research findings that suggest venting can actually exacerbate anger and aggression. Instead, they advocate for techniques that help regulate emotions and promote calmness, emphasizing the importance of understanding anger as a signal of emotional pain. The discussion includes practical strategies for managing anger in relationships and highlights the significance of redirecting anger for healthier interactions.  Links and Resources: The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages on Amazon Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724–731. Link to article PDF. Kjærvik, S. L., & Bushman, B. J. (2024). A meta‑analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage? Clinical Psychology Review, 109, 102414. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414 Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger, do not sin.” Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary:  In this engaging podcast episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn welcome Jonathan and Wendy Hoover to discuss essential insights into marriage. They explore the Hoovers' personal journey through conflict and resolution, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying motivations in disagreements. The conversation also highlights three critical factors to consider before marriage, focusing on faith, character, and the commitment required for a successful partnership. Links and Resources: Dr Hoover's Website Dr Hoover's Podcast Stress Fracture Book on Amazon Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this podcast episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of communication and conflict in relationships, particularly focusing on the differences between men and women. They discuss a viral clip from a previous podcast that sparked significant conversation about how men process emotions and the importance of reassurance in relationships. The episode emphasizes the need for understanding and grace between partners, as well as the role of introspection and emotional processing in navigating conflicts.   Links and Resources: Ryan Miller Reel on Instagram       Ryan Miller Podcast   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary:   In this conversation, Jeff and Shaunti with guest Nate Graybill discuss the pressing mental health crisis and the vital role the church can play in recovery. They explore Nate's personal journey with addiction, the importance of authentic community, and how churches can build effective recovery programs that go beyond traditional counseling. They discuss the transformative power of recovery groups within the church, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, community, and the biblical foundations of healing. They explore how these groups can serve as a starting point for individuals seeking support and spiritual growth, and how they can effectively equip lay leaders to guide others through their struggles.   Resources and Links Mentioned: https://www.regenerationrecovery.org/ https://www.watermarkresources.com/ www.thechurchcares.com When Hurting People Come To Church on Amazon   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this conversation, Shaunti, Jeff, and Chris Legg explore the common reasons couples find themselves at odds, focusing on the differences in communication styles and emotional thresholds. They discuss the importance of understanding translation versus interpretation in relationships, how emotional reactions can vary between partners, and the significance of believing the best in each other's intentions.   Resources and Links Mentioned: www.chrismlegg.com www.alethiacounseling.com Secrets of Sex and Marriage on Amazon   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, with guests Pastor Des Wadsworth, and Lenny Nasca, LCSW discuss the pressing mental health crisis facing churches today. They explore the challenges pastors face in providing support to those in need, the importance of lay counseling programs, and how to effectively recruit and retain volunteers for these initiatives. The discussion emphasizes the need for compassionate care and the structured approach necessary to navigate the complexities of counseling within a church setting. Resources and Links Mentioned: www.thechurchcares.com When Hurting People Come To Church   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Summary: In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn discuss the concept of the mental load in relationships with Dr. Morgan Cutlip. They explore how feelings of unfairness and resentment can arise when one partner feels overwhelmed by invisible tasks and emotional labor. The discussion emphasizes the importance of communication, appreciation, and understanding the dynamics of emotional labor in marriage. Dr. Cutlip provides practical strategies for couples to navigate these challenges, including the need to make the invisible visible and to frame the mental load as a shared enemy. The conversation highlights the significance of regular discussions about responsibilities and the unique pressures faced by both partners in family life.  Resources and Links Mentioned: https://drmorgancutlip.com/ A Better Share on Amazon  Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this conversation, Shaunti and Jim discuss the pressing mental health crisis and the role of the church in addressing it. They explore the importance of traditional counseling and the need for a new system of care that includes community support. The discussion emphasizes the importance of building capacity within churches to provide emotional support and the legal considerations involved. They also address the fears and misconceptions that may prevent churches from engaging in this vital work, ultimately calling for a collaborative approach to mental health care that integrates faith and community. They explore how churches can train lay counselors to provide emotional support and care, creating a network that addresses the mental health needs of their communities. The discussion highlights practical steps for church involvement and the universal need for care and support, encouraging listeners to engage in their communities and foster relationships that can lead to healing and growth. Resources and Links Mentioned: www.thechurchcares.com Sign up to get The Church Cares Kit When Hurting People Come To Church Purchase on Amazon Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with singer-songwriter Dave Barnes to unpack the emotional world of men and the dynamics that shape relationships. Together, they explore the often-overlooked depth of men’s feelings, how love is expressed differently than women might expect, and the surprising role of music and creativity in emotional connection. They also dive into some of the biggest misconceptions women have about men’s romantic intentions, and why understanding love languages—and misreading them—can lead to unnecessary hurt. Drawing on personal stories, research insights, and years of marriage experience, the conversation turns toward the deeper challenges couples face: loneliness, unmet expectations, and the myth that one person can meet all emotional needs. Throughout, the trio emphasizes the power of believing the best in your partner, the healing gift of forgiveness, and the essential role of community, prayer, and positive communication in building strong, resilient relationships. Whether you're married, dating, or simply curious about how men really think and love, this episode offers a rich, encouraging guide to connection and empathy. Resources/Links Mentioned: https://www.davebarnes.com/ https://dadville.substack.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode 18: Happy Couples Hang Out Description: Join Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn as they delve into the habits of the happiest couples. Discover the deceptively simple secret that we learned in the research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages about the power of simply spending time together and how that plays a role in maintaining a strong relationship. Learn from real-life examples and research-backed insights to transform your marriage.  Resources & Links Mentioned:     The Surprising Secrets of High Happy Marriages  For Women Only  For Men Only  Today’s podcast features the type of game-changing, research-based findings that will strengthen the marriages in your church. If you are interested in bringing Shaunti and Jeff to your next event, please contact Nicole Owens at nowens@shaunti.com.   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.