Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast

Changing the locks is no longer the same thing as changing the access. In this episode, Karen McMahon sits down with Jonathan Steele, a Chicago based family law attorney and certified cybersecurity professional, for a conversation Journey Beyond Divorce has never had in over 425 episodes. Jonathan has spent more than a decade litigating high conflict, high net worth cases, and he brings a layer of technical expertise that most family lawyers simply do not have. Karen opens with the uncomfortable truth that almost nobody going through divorce thinks of themselves as a cybersecurity target. Jonathan walks listeners through what a spouse may still be able to see long after someone has moved out: the Ring camera, the Nest footage, the Gmail account still signed in on an old iPad, the shared iCloud photo album, the luxury car app that logs where the car has been and how fast it was going, the location sharing nobody remembers turning on. He explains why the smart devices that were supposed to make life easier, the robot vacuum, the smart refrigerator, the video doorbell, are often running years old software while sitting on the same Wi-Fi network as every device that holds something sensitive. The front door may have an excellent lock on it. The window screen is full of holes. When Karen asks when in the process people should start addressing this, his answer is immediate. Before you file. Before discovery. Before trial. As soon as you possibly can. Then the conversation gets closer to home. Jonathan describes how children become tracker beacons without anyone intending it, how a single mutual friend inside a list of eight hundred followers can hand a spouse the photograph that ends spousal support, and how one of his own cases terminated a maintenance obligation of more than a million dollars a year because a woman's adult children were quietly feeding her social media posts to their father. She was simply living her life and posting about it, the way everyone does. He also answers a question a growing number of listeners are asking. Conversations with AI about a divorce are discoverable, and lawyers have already started requesting the logs. Karen asks him to triage the overwhelm into a short list, and he does. Move sensitive communication to a more secure messenger. Open a brand new email address. Run the Safety Check tool already built into the iPhone, which was designed for exactly this situation and walks you through revoking access in plain language. Prune the follower lists, including the connections that feel harmless. Cut off camera and car app access. Pause the next time an app requests a permission it has no legitimate reason to want. And for every listener who has been told by friends that she is paranoid and ridiculous, Jonathan offers the line worth the entire episode. It is only paranoia if you are not right about it. One small step a day still counts. This is a marathon, and every setting you turn off is protection you did not have yesterday. Connect with Jonathan Steele: Website: steelfamlaw.com Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steelefamlaw/ Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Join Divorce Support Network: Back to school offer, 80% off a full year for $99, plus two strategic calls at no cost, one with a coach and one with a financial specialist:  https://community.divorcesupportnetwork.com/back-to-school/ Free Rapid Relief Call: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call

If you've ever felt like you can't think straight, can't stop second-guessing yourself, or can't figure out why you keep making decisions you regret, this episode is for you. One of the most damaging and least talked about effects of divorce is what anxiety does to your decision making. Fear takes over, your nervous system goes into overdrive, and suddenly you're not making choices from a clear, grounded place, you're reacting. Most people don't even realize it's happening until the damage is done, and for many, anxiety and alcohol end up feeding each other during this exact chapter of life. Karen sits down with Colleen Freeland Kachmann, a mindful drinking coach, host of the globally top ranked It's Not About the Alcohol podcast, and founder of the Accelerated Recovery Process, to talk about what anxiety is actually doing to your brain during divorce, why so many people reach for alcohol to cope with that anxiety without realizing that's what's happening, and how to get clear, get grounded, and start making decisions you can trust, with or without a drink in hand. They dig into why anxiety and fear take over during divorce and what's actually happening in your nervous system when they do, how anxious drinking during divorce becomes a coping mechanism for dysregulation rather than an actual solution, how to recognize when anxiety is making your decisions for you even when it doesn't feel like anxiety, and what it feels like to make a decision from a calm, grounded place instead of a fearful or alcohol-numbed one. They also talk about the role of emotional sobriety, a concept that applies whether or not alcohol is part of your story, in rebuilding self-trust during and after divorce, and what Colleen's work helping women change their relationship with alcohol taught her about fear, the nervous system, and self-trust that applies directly to divorce recovery. Colleen Freeland Kachmann is a mindful drinking coach and host of the globally top ranked It's Not About the Alcohol podcast. She helps high-achieving professional women reduce their alcohol consumption using holistic, evidence-based strategies in neurophysiology, nervous system regulation, and growth mindset, without willpower or an all-or-nothing approach to alcohol. Colleen is an addiction and recovery-certified master life coach with an MSc in health coaching, a BS in biology and chemistry, and certification as a women's functional and integrative professional. She founded Recover with Colleen, an intensive group coaching program built around her Accelerated Recovery Process. If this conversation resonated, whether it's the divorce anxiety, the drinking, or both, and you're wondering whether coaching support could help, Karen's Rapid Relief Call is a free way to find out. You can also connect with Colleen through her podcast, It's Not About the Alcohol, and her program, Recover with Colleen. Connect with Colleen: Free Gift: COMING SOON TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hangoverwhisperer Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehangoverwhisperer Website: https://itsnotaboutthealcohol.com Resources Mentioned in this Podcast: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod

To celebrate a decade of Journey Beyond Divorce, we're sharing a special collection of episodes featuring Karen McMahon as a guest on some of her favorite podcasts. Over the years, Karen has joined incredible hosts across the divorce, coaching, and personal growth space to share her story and her expertise. This collection brings those conversations together in one place, offering a look at Karen's voice and message from a different angle, through the eyes of the hosts who welcomed her. Thank you for being part of this journey, and for helping Journey Beyond Divorce grow into what it is today. Karen McMahon on the Self-Love Recovery Podcast with Ross Rosenberg In this episode, originally recorded for the Self-Love Recovery podcast, host Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC sits down with Karen McMahon, Chief Visionary and High Conflict Divorce Coach with Journey Beyond Divorce, for an in-depth conversation on high conflict relationships. Together they explore the behaviors and reactions that define these dynamics, from a self-love deficit at their root to the delusions that can keep people stuck, and why setting boundaries is so essential to breaking the cycle. Ross brings decades of clinical expertise in codependency, trauma, and narcissistic abuse to the conversation, while Karen offers her perspective on how these patterns show up in divorce and relationship transitions. Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, and author of The Human Magnet Syndrome, and founder of the Self-Love Recovery Institute, which he created in 2013 as a hub for personal development, workshops, and professional training. Learn more about Ross Rosenberg and the Self-Love Recovery Institute at selfloverecovery.com, and listen to the Self-Love Recovery podcast on all major platforms.  Podcast: https://www.selfloverecovery.com/pages/podcast YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/RossRosenberg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rossrosenberg_slri Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RossRosenberg1 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rossrosenberg

What if divorce wasn't really about her? That's the question Karen McMahon poses to open this episode of Journey Beyond Divorce, and the question at the center of her conversation with Geoff Laughton, a Relationship and Men's Work Coach with 33 years of experience, 300+ workshops, and thousands of clients. Geoff calls the pattern the "Masculine Dilemma," a set of unconscious traps that quietly erode men's marriages long before divorce ever becomes a possibility. He's also 44 years into his own marriage, so he's not just teaching this work, he's living it. Karen and Geoff dig into what actually drives men toward disconnection: confusion about what masculinity even means today, growing up without strong masculine models, and the gap between who a man was trained to be and who he actually is underneath the training. Geoff unpacks the real differences between masculine and feminine energy, not as stereotypes, but as wiring, and explains why so many marriages die from a thousand tiny paper cuts rather than one big blowup. One of the most useful moments in the episode is Geoff's breakdown of "MSU" (making shit up) and "MUS" (made-up shit), the stories partners tell themselves about what the other person is thinking, without ever actually asking. Karen and Geoff both push back hard on the idea that a partner should "just know" what you need, calling it a setup for failure in any relationship. The conversation also tackles the "Sir Lancelot syndrome," the nice-guy pattern of trying to rescue and fix a partner's every feeling, at the cost of a man's own needs and boundaries, and why that pattern so often ends in resentment rather than intimacy. In the back half of the episode, Geoff walks through what he calls a relationship postmortem: a brutally honest look at what worked, when things started to break down (often, he notes, right around the arrival of the first child), where a man went out of integrity with himself, and what he's committed to doing differently before jumping into the next relationship. Karen and Geoff agree this kind of self-honest inventory, done without self-blame or shame, is essential before dating again. Connect with Geoff: Free E-book: The Masculine Dilemma - https://theundauntedman.com/path Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/ln/theundauntedman and www.linkedin.com/li/yourrelationshiparchitect Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod  

High-conflict divorce doesn't end when the papers are signed. It lives on in the next generation, and often in the very patterns adults bring into their own marriages. In this episode, Karen McMahon sits down with Dr. Sharon Martin to unpack how growing up in a dysfunctional or high-conflict home quietly shapes the adults those children become, showing up years later as codependency, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and conflict avoidance. Karen and Dr. Martin trace how a child's instinct to stay safe around unpredictable or explosive parents can calcify into lifelong habits of self-abandonment, and why so many adults find themselves recreating the very dynamics they swore they'd leave behind. The conversation moves into practical territory, too, exploring what healthy boundaries actually look like, how they differ for a difficult parent versus a difficult boss or friend, and why self-compassion is the starting point for breaking the cycle rather than the reward at the end of it. Karen shares personal stories from her own divorce and parenting journey, and listeners walk away with concrete ways to spot these patterns in themselves and in their children, and real tools to begin interrupting them now. Dr. Sharon Martin is a licensed psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience helping adult children of dysfunctional families untangle the long-term effects of their upbringing, and the author of several self-help books along with a free re-parenting guide available on her website. Connect with Dr. Sharon Website: https://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sharonmartinlcsw/, Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_sharon_martin/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SharonMartin Free Gift: 12 Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism (one of over 30 self-help tools available in my free resource library): https://www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/free/ Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com Free Divorce Support Network Gift: https://divorcesupportnetwork.com/jbdpod