Seeing Other People

This week we’re talking about Ilana’s half marathon experience and what the race actually felt like compared to training. We get into why running can be such a mental challenge and how expectations going in can shape the experience. Jake shares about his weekend at Mohegan Sun and we talk about gambling, risk, and why it can be so appealing. Ilana also shares her new focus on trying new things, from adult gymnastics to pottery and potentially learning how to sew. We wrap things up with a blind ranking of double date ideas and our thoughts on what actually makes them fun.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: this episode includes discussion of body image and suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself and only listen if you feel safe doing so.In this deeply honest episode, a returning anonymous guest opens up about living and dating with long-term body image struggles as a man. From childhood bullying to the realities of dating apps, he shares how external judgment has shaped his confidence, mental health, and romantic experiences. We talk about height bias, masculinity, gym culture, rejection, and the emotional toll of feeling “seen but not chosen.” ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In today’s solo Q&A, I’m answering your real, messy, specific dating questions. We’re talking about red flags vs. anxiety, high standards, situationships, giving too many chances, and that weird feeling when your friends don’t like him. I also get into spark vs. stability and how to stop spiraling about your timeline. If you’ve ever wondered am I self-sabotaging or am I settling, you’ll want to listen.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we’re sharing some of our relationship hot takes and debating a few modern dating questions couples don’t always agree on. We talk about things like whether it’s ever okay to look through your partner’s phone, sharing phone passwords, sharing locations, and whether having crushes on other people is normal. Then we play a blind ranking game where we rank different third date ideas without knowing what’s coming nextALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A 36-year-old single woman shares the reality of modern dating: a year-long casual situationship, dating app fatigue, and the pressure of watching younger siblings get married while you’re still searching for your person. We talk about what it’s like designing engagement rings while being single, the aftermath of a toxic long-term relationship, and the unexpected lessons from group therapy. From manifestation lists for a future partner to the brutal honesty of speed dating, this conversation dives into what dating in your 30s actually feels like. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Misha Brown joins the podcast to talk about her book Be Your Own Bestie and the real work behind learning to like yourself. We discuss why being a good friend to others starts with being a good friend to yourself, the pressure to shrink ourselves, and how shame shapes the way we move through life. Misha shares her SaaS method for building confidence, the power of “dating yourself,” and why small daily acts of self-care can completely shift how you see yourself.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we’re back from Hawaii and immediately thrown into jet lag, daylight savings, and the reality of jumping straight back into work. We talk about how quickly vacation mode disappears once the Sunday scaries hit and real life starts again. We recap some of our favorite moments from the trip, including playing with baby animals and exploring fruit farms in Kauai. Ilana shares some big news and the complicated feelings that came with it, and we spiral into TikTok fame, influencer culture, AI, and what the future might look like.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I thought I was the exception to the dating advice everyone gives when you’re single. I wasn’t. In this episode, I’m breaking down the advice I ignored and what it cost me, from chasing potential to confusing mixed signals for chemistry. We’ll talk about desperation, fixing people, and the stories we tell ourselves to avoid walking away. If something feels off in your relationship, this might help you name it.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Eli Weinstein⁠ returns to the pod fresh off releasing ⁠From I Do to We Do⁠, and we’re getting real about what actually makes relationships work — long before kids enter the chat. We talk about the biggest mistakes people make while dating, the underrated green flags that matter for the long game, and why most couples don’t blow up overnight… they just never had the hard conversations early on. Eli breaks down his “import/export list,” the tiny resentments that quietly build into big fights, and how to know what’s worth compromising vs. what’s not. Plus: roommate energy in relationships, interdependence vs. losing yourself, and the pressure-release “rompus moment” every couple needs.ALL links⁠ here⁠ (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at ⁠skims.com.⁠Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople⁠ #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at ⁠Quince.com/seeingotherpeople⁠ Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at⁠ nutrafol.com⁠ promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at ⁠Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLE⁠See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week we’re recording from Hawaii and reflecting on the trips we’ve taken together, from our first weekend away to big family vacations. We talk about how travel reveals your real relationship dynamic, what happens when you start merging families, and why in-law situations can feel simple for some couples and complicated for others. We also get honest about shared PTO, family expectations, and how different upbringings shape vacation dynamics. ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more)Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Caroline Sacks joins the pod to break down her Hinge meet-cute turned long-term love story — from casually dating in NYC to defining the relationship months later. We talk about dating without intention (and getting lucky), being the “boyfriend girl,” and why marrying with intention matters more than dating with it. She opens up about choosing a calm partner over chemistry chaos, navigating content creation in a relationship, and what wedding planning has really taught her about friendships. Plus: 24 venues, no dress (yet), and the politics of the metaphorical seating chart of life.ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m joined by Colette Jane Fehr, couples therapist, relationship expert, and author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love. We talk about why “not fighting” isn’t the same as being connected, how losing your voice can slowly erode a relationship, and what it actually means to do the work in love. Colette shares how her own divorce, dating experiences, and attachment patterns shaped the way she shows up in her second marriage, and why speaking up (even when it’s scary) is the key to secure love. We get into conflict avoidance, anxious vs. avoidant dynamics, the fear of being “too much,” and more. Grab the book hereALL links here (submit a Q, share your story on the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Co-Hosts for Life, we’re catching up on work offsites, falling off our 20-week challenge, and the half marathon I secretly signed up for that got canceled, so I ran it alone anyway. I share why I needed that race for myself and how it ended up being one of my strongest runs ever. Then we answer your questions about supporting a friend through a breakup, losing the “obsessed” feeling in long-term relationships, and what it really means when someone slowly pulls back while dating. We also talk about freedom versus stability, catching feelings for a friend’s ex, and how to know if it is worth exploring. As always, Jake gives his honest perspective and reminds you to send this episode to a friend.ALL links here (submit a Q, pitch yourself to the pod, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Part 2 of my career story, I’m picking up right where we left off — from losing my job at Hinge to launching Seeing Other People just weeks later. I break down how the podcast actually grew, why co-hosting didn’t last, and what it really looks like to make money as a podcaster, content creator, and dating coach. I get radically honest about freelancing, brand deals, influencer income, pay transparency, and the instability no one warns you about.ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’re recapping an unforgettable weekend in London celebrating Jake’s brother Jeff and his now-fiancée Sydney’s engagement. We talk about the behind-the-scenes chaos of keeping the surprise secret, tracking them on Find My Friends, dodging FaceTime calls, and the moment everyone ran out to surprise them. We also catch up on our 20-week challenge struggles, Ilana’s mortifying podcast scheduling mishap, Barkley’s health scare, and of course… Jake’s deep dive Tell Me Lies finale theories (and his ongoing inability to say Pippa’s name).ALL links here (links, pitch your story to the pod, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In Part 1 of my career story, I’m breaking down how I got here –from quitting my photojournalism major at Syracuse, to hustling through internships in music, to landing my “dream job” at a major record label that left me underpaid, burned out, and questioning everything. I share what it actually takes to break into creative industries, the realities of pay and privilege, and how burnout and heartbreak pushed me to pivot out of music – ultimately landing me at Hinge, where my career (and confidence) took a major turn.ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if loving each other forever doesn’t automatically mean getting married? In this episode, I sit down with Maxson and Emily to talk about their unconventional love story and why they’re questioning marriage instead of rushing into it. We get into prenups, divorce, kids, legal myths, and whether marriage actually strengthens a relationship—or just complicates it.Should We Get Married? on Spotify and Apple PodcastsALL links here (links, pitch your story to the pod, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m joined by Jessica Kameko, aka @TravelWithMeko, a full-time travel creator, student, marathon runner, medical esthetician, author, and mom of two. We talk about what her life actually looks like, why she chose to go back to school, what led her to becoming a single mom, and how she’s managed to build a life rooted in travel and flexibility. Then we get into dating as a single mom: how motherhood has changed how she dates, her non-negotiables, how quickly she has to vet people, what people get wrong about dating a single mom, navigating dating apps, co-parenting, and the advice she’d give anyone going through separation, divorce, or choosing motherhood on their own.Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’re recording on the eve of our five-year “first date” anniversary and catching up on everything from freezing winter runs and challenge updates to surprise date nights and what it looks like to keep showing up for each other in the small ways. We answer a timely listener question about Valentine’s Day on a fifth date (do you bring a gift or just show up?), talk about dating your friends with more intention, and get into the tricky dynamics of breakups, like when friends suddenly admit they never liked your partner and how to support someone without piling on. .ALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I’m joined by my longtime friend Sarah and her husband Ben to talk about what happens when the people closest to you don’t support your relationship. We start with how they met and their very different religious journeys, then get into navigating outside opinions, value clashes, and major life changes while choosing each other anyway. Sarah shares what it was like to trust her own voice when friends and family pushed back, and Ben opens up about staying grounded through it all. @sarahtaplin @bentaplin @exhibitivartALL links here (links, submit a question, dating coaching & more) Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at skims.com. If you’re looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or yourself, the SKIMS Valentine’s Shop is now open.Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/seeingotherpeople #rulapod Stock up on the best elevated essentials + get free shipping & 365 day returns at Quince.com/seeingotherpeople Get $10 off your Nutrafol subscription at nutrafol.com promo code SEEINGOTHERPEOPLERedefine your standard of health. Secure 20% off your order and begin your intentional wellness journey today at Piquelife.com/SEEINGOTHERPEOPLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.