Healing Birth

This week's guest shares the remarkable evolution of her six birth stories, from fighting to have her wishes respected in the hospital, to discovering just how beautiful and transformative birth could be at home. After advocating fiercely for herself throughout her first hospital birth, she was left deeply affected by the way she was treated. Her second birth brought an unwanted induction and an experience so difficult that the postpartum depression that followed clouded much of her memory of her son's infancy. By her third pregnancy, she knew she needed something different. She chose the care of a midwife, first in the hospital, and eventually made the leap to homebirth with her fourth baby. That experience changed everything. For the first time, birth wasn't something to endure or recover from. It was beautiful, empowering, and transformative, not only for her, but for her husband as well. She went on to welcome two more babies at home, and after the birth of her sixth, her midwife encouraged her to consider becoming a birthworker herself. Today, she has the privilege of attending other women as they give birth, a calling born from her own journey of discovering just how profoundly different birth can be when a woman feels safe, supported, and respected. If you love the show, I would greatly appreciate a review on  Spotify or Apple Podcasts!  Follow me on Instagram @healingbirth Do you have a birth story you'd like to share on the podcast, or would like to otherwise connect? I love to hear from you! Send me a note at [email protected] Intro / Outro music: Dreams by Markvard Podcast cover photo by Karina Jensen @karinajensenphoto

In Part One of Alayna's story, we left off as she made the difficult decision to go to the hospital after developing clear signs of preeclampsia at the end of her pregnancy. As she had been planning to freebirth, she arrived with no record of prenatal care and ultimately experienced a failed induction followed by a cesarean, the last way she had imagined welcoming her baby. But Alayna's story is about so much more than the way her baby was born. In Part Two, she shares with incredible vulnerability about the many layers of grief that followed: being the last person to hold her baby, never seeing her placenta, and coming home to the untouched birth pool, and birth affirmations that had been waiting for a completely different birth. She also speaks honestly about the loneliness and disconnection she experienced afterward, including the painful thought, "I know she's mine, but I don't feel it yet," and why she couldn't bring herself to share her birth story for two months. Alayna is still healing. At the  time of our recording, she only recently has she begun to feel that she holds the whole story of her birth, rather than scattered pieces of an experience she was still trying to understand. Together, we talk about grief, PTSD, the small mercies she held onto along the way, and how this experience is shaping, but not yet defining, the choices she may make in a future pregnancy. If you love the show, I would greatly appreciate a review on  Spotify or Apple Podcasts!  Follow me on Instagram @healingbirth Do you have a birth story you'd like to share on the podcast, or would like to otherwise connect? I love to hear from you! Send me a note at [email protected] Intro / Outro music: Dreams by Markvard Podcast cover photo by Karina Jensen @karinajensenphoto

Alayna's journey to motherhood began with two years of trying to conceive, a season filled with hope, disappointment, and the emotional rollercoaster of waiting for the pregnancy she wanted so deeply. When she finally became pregnant, she thrived in those early months and began preparing for the freebirth she envisioned. But halfway through her pregnancy, life changed dramatically. Her husband was seriously injured in a car accident, leaving him unable to work and Alayna carrying the financial weight of their family while running her own chiropractic practice. As the stress mounted, so did changes in her body. Swelling increased, sleep became nearly impossible, and her blood pressure began to rise. By 38 weeks, symptoms of preeclampsia had become too significant to ignore. In Part One of Alayna's story, we talk about the long road to becoming pregnant, the pregnancy she had hoped for, and the particular kind of heartbreak that comes when you feel your carefully considered birth plans slipping away. For Alayna, it meant confronting the realization that she may have to go to the one place she desperately did not want to give birth: the hospital. If you love the show, I would greatly appreciate a review on  Spotify or Apple Podcasts!  Follow me on Instagram @healingbirth Do you have a birth story you'd like to share on the podcast, or would like to otherwise connect? I love to hear from you! Send me a note at [email protected] Intro / Outro music: Dreams by Markvard Podcast cover photo by Karina Jensen @karinajensenphoto

After going into labor unexpectedly at just 35 weeks with her first baby, Hannah's plans for a midwife-assisted homebirth quickly turned into a hospital transfer and a traumatic experience that left her feeling deeply let down by the very system of support she had trusted. She went on to freebirth her next two babies at home, experiences she remains incredibly grateful for. But looking back, Hannah can also see how her choice to birth without professional support was shaped, at least in part, by what she had experienced the first time around. By her fourth pregnancy, something had shifted. She no longer felt like she needed to do it all on her own. She wanted support, and for the first time since her first birth, she felt ready to invite a midwife back into her birth space. She experienced weeks of exhausting, mind-bending prodromal labor before Hannah finally welcomed her fourth baby peacefully at home, surrounded by her midwife and supportive friends. This is a story about much more than one homebirth. It's about the ways our previous birth experiences shape the choices we make, the difference between choosing independence and feeling like we have no other choice, and Hannah's journey toward healing her relationship with midwifery and allowing herself to be supported again. You can listen to both of Hannah's powerful, previous birth stories here: Trusing Birth at 35 Weeks A (Surprise!) Breech Freebirth  If you love the show, I would greatly appreciate a review on  Spotify or Apple Podcasts! Follow me on Instagram @healingbirth Do you have a birth story you'd like to share on the podcast, or would like to otherwise connect? I love to hear from you! Send me a note at [email protected] Intro / Outro music: Dreams by Markvard Podcast cover photo by Karina Jensen @karinajensenphoto

As the oldest of 13 children, nearly all of whom were born at home, Evelyn grew up with homebirth as her normal. Naturally, when she became pregnant with her first baby, she planned to give birth at home, too. But at 36.5 weeks, a violent case of food poisoning unexpectedly sent her into labor, just days before she would have reached the 37-week cutoff for a midwife-attended homebirth. Suddenly thrust into the hospital system without a plan in place, Evelyn experienced a birth she describes as traumatic, followed by feeding challenges that made an already difficult transition into motherhood even harder. Then, just three months postpartum, Evelyn discovered she was pregnant again. Coming to terms with another pregnancy so soon was difficult, especially while she was still carrying the trauma of her first birth in her body. Throughout her second pregnancy, Evelyn intentionally worked to somatically process and release what she had experienced, while preparing for the very different birth she hoped was possible. This time, she gave birth at a birth center in a peaceful, fast, and deeply healing experience. Evelyn's story is a beautiful example of how profoundly different two births can be, and how healing can happen when we give ourselves the space to process what came before and step into birth again with new support, trust, and possibility. If you love the show, I would greatly appreciate a review on  Spotify or Apple Podcasts! Follow me on Instagram @healingbirth Do you have a birth story you'd like to share on the podcast, or would like to otherwise connect? I love to hear from you! Send me a note at [email protected] Intro / Outro music: Dreams by Markvard Podcast cover photo by Karina Jensen @karinajensenphoto