Friend Crush with Amber Akilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/ndawrsGy3F4please share how your journey with creating/consuming/compensated and participating has or is evolving!!!0:0001:27 - define the terms/auditing your consumption habits - consumer, creator, compensated, participant03:13 - define being hot & having fun according to your core values04:04 - check for energy leaks04:25 - doing things with budget restrictions to build discipline06:57 - becoming aware of consumerism conditioning07:11 - where can you be more creative or be open to learning07:32 - bringing intention to the way you consume09:07- get in tune with how you feel and your level of contentment09:47 - not all hobbies need to be monetised10:14 - how do you spend your time, energy & money10:30 - no one is safe from the attention economy10:59 - staying informed without getting overwhelmed11:37 - flexible framework vs strict rules11:47 - diversifying dopamine triggers12:27 - finding a balance between online & offline life12:45 - purchasing for utility vs branding17:00 - when flopping in creating is better than slaying in consuming18:38 - the oveconsumption to hater pipeline18:56 - the motivations & intentions behind your relationshipsfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/i’m on substack!!!https://substack.com/@amberakillasubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionhttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://substack.com/@amberakilla/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

recording of a tiktok/youtube live on 24.02.2026 !video version: https://youtu.be/xIduRHUSvUM00:00 - recent obsessions02:00 - being a woman in corporate07:15 - dealing with insecure/intimidated women08:03 - navigating a flop era10:22 - current fave beauty products11:56 - not taking things personally/detachment 14:56 - talking stages15:45 - freelancing17:26 - somatic exercises17:51 - comparing yourself on social media18:53 - draining family members19:51 - guy not following up on dates20:06 - being consistent with hobbies21:35 - financial flop era22:31 - getting new hobbies23:01 - putting pressure on yourself24:06 - pivoting from corporate25:20 - visiting perth27:50 - making friends31:24 - asmr & vlogging36:00 - shrek gate46:25 - the emotional spiral, win-win relationships, navigating spaces as a minority 48:13 - women being held to higher moral standards than men48:40 - identifying problems vs creating solutions50:30 - misidentifying issues52:55 - dating when you’re young54:00 - ramadan in shanghai56:26 - when to start dating again57:27 - gender imbalance in china58:30 - ego death??? re-constructing your identity1:00:00 - gender binary and performance of gender in china1:02:00 - reading1:03:00 - pole schedule1:04:00 - post-shrek gate1:09:00 - provider men, going 50/501:13:00 - women benefitting from patriarchy, being hot & having fun, living life to your full potential1:16:00 - analysis paralysis, learning from failure1:17:00 - men and red pill 1:17:20 - the tragedy of heterosexuality by jane ward1:19:58 - passive aggressive behaviour 1:20:16 - gay relationship dynamics1:22:20 - smear campaigns, sh*t talking1:24:20 - don’t confront passive agressive behaviour1:27:18 - i support women’s rights and wrongs1:29:00 - women defending shrek1:35:00 - marginisation in the dominant group1:37:15 - the illusion of binary options1:39:26 - loser mindset with winner entitlement1:41:45 - media literacy1:42:30 - de-centering men, pick-mes, male-centered men1:44:35 - beyond right and wrong1:45:00 - live by example1:47:07 - cognitive offloading1:47:27 - how to make the most authentic decision for you1:48:35 - men aren’t riding for female characters1:49:00 - boundaries around social media

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/bJ1Ow4RFuW4the irony of me filming this a week before that sh*k video oop at least you know i practice what i preach heheyou life and your journey is for you to own. other people can disagree and say you're problematic but even then, no one is going to be strong-armed into a better version of themselves. even the most problematic people from your point of view need space to evolve and work through being a product of their environment and conditioning so they can take accountability and choose to change. doesn't mean its my or your responsibility to hold their hand through it, its just that arguing usually exacerbates a problem more than it provides a resolve. do you want to be right or happy???00:0001:37 - define the terms01:43 - never argue with a MAN for free03:00 - what is love04:23 - love exists as an action - separate to the culture of romance05:10 - ‘never’05:38 - ‘free’06:31 - ‘argue’ - argument vs conversation07:58 - types of communicationdiscourse, dialogue, debate, diatribe09:14 - engaging in bad faith10:41 - value12:41 - walking away or changing the dynamic13:25 - argument loop13:56 - let them yap14:10 - how to get out of an argument with your dignity in tact15:03 - break the pattern today or the loop will continue tomorrow15:42 - habit stacking16:03 - changing response to triggers16:43 - don't underestimate how important your validation is to other people15:57 - people treat you with the grace they treat themselves19:06 - fight or flight activation19:46 - witholding your response20:25 - being demure and mindful but not defensive21:38 - hypocognition23:06 - bracketing23:53 - accept that some relationships are just limited25:29 - you are not responsible for changing other people’s perception of reality if they aren’t ready26:39 - reclaim and redirect your energy27:57 - represent yourself rather than waiting for permission28:35 - presenting something vs arguing about it29:02 - trying to present new ideas/perspectives30:43 - when they start a fight with you because they can’t handle their reaction to what you said30:57 - when arguing might be beneficial32:00 - when i might care what people think33:47 - daily affirmations34:17 - make sure you have a life34:25 - pre-training so when you are triggered you are less likley to take the bait

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0doV1ZWLOKMpart two of the 2020 Love, Lust & Loathing Q&A!! thank you for your patience ~ make sure to watch the first video on limerence too!00:0000:10 - navigating female friendships when decentering romance03:23 - maintaining sovereignty while dating06:54 - my perspective on romantic love and pressures to settle down or be in a relationship11:30 - how to stop being envious of other people in relationships12:12 - age gap relationships13:01 - work crushes and asking men out14:32 - seeing potential in men16:15 - detaching from nostalgia for a first love17:43 - decentering men while being in a relationship19:06 - men that are financially dependent on women23:03 - casual hookupsrelated videos:how to lock-in so hard your crush dies (metaphorically)https://youtu.be/rOtI0i13dIApick me seed: internalised misogyny, patriarchy, decentering menhttps://youtu.be/gGVt7vpxX28hot girl habitshttps://youtu.be/DszRCbx0_AEwhat is lovehttps://youtu.be/mqu4RRzr2ooincreasing your baselinehttps://youtu.be/iwT59y8LWfErelationships are transactionalhttps://youtu.be/e4hrPViYKK8hot girl habitshttps://youtu.be/DszRCbx0_AEnon negotiable hobbyhttps://youtu.be/XlStSk0b4KIhttps://youtu.be/jKVo3bGoyxgpeople pleasinghttps://youtu.be/0a0SFegK0QUhttps://youtu.be/tuCg_2muajYhook up culturehttps://youtu.be/ZlWzGbWpeJIboundaries, friends with benefitshttps://youtu.be/cU7Fr7DNEz4flirting & crusheshttps://youtu.be/i-Mx2bPt1-obooks (affiliate links):The Road Less Travelledhttps://amzn.to/496J0SDThe Tragedy of Heterosexualityhttps://amzn.to/4jvfFozfollow me on IG ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla

ok so i originally said this was going to be one long video with an accompanying substack article - now it will be a few videos with one or more substack articles… stay tuned! i hope you enjoy the first instalment of the 2026 love, lust & loathing valentine’s day series! this started as a mix series on soundcloud (you can still listen to the previous mixes) but in 2024 i added a lil Q&A which i thought to bring back this year! this first video focuses on differentiating between crushes and limerence - i fear many people might be mis-identifying a crush as limerence or being overly hard on themselves with the over-pathologisation of therapy speak etc… don’t let the desire to grow and evolve kill the whimsy in you!!! cute, CHAOTIC and critical thinking can co-exist, just make sure that its a balance that works in your favour!!! love u xxyoutube video: https://youtu.be/rOtI0i13dIA00:00 intro02:15 1. defining love03:51 - question 105:05 - 2. defining limerence05:39 - 3. the stages of limerence06:33 - 4. limerence vs a crush07:50 - 5. a crush is a lack of information08:19 - 6. sexual energy is a form of creative energylimerence is becoming overly attached to the fantasy you create08:51 - 7. weigh the attention you receive accordingly09:12 - 8. get a creative hobby or 5 if you need10:04 - 9. it takes longer to know someone than you think10:51 - 10. they represent something that you need to nurture or work towards for yourself/maybe you just wanna be him10:59 - 11. career woman blindspot11:30 - 12. avoid working with your romantic interests12:04 - 13. storytime :P12:39 - 14. the disrespect is the closure12:48 - 15. you don’t need other people’s approval to validate what you want to do14:09 - 16. never assume that a man is more capable than you14:25 - 17. the dangers of prioritising male attention14:49 - 18. what do i get out of being delusional over this person14:51 - 19. men rarely go out of their way unless they perceive a benefit to themselves14:59 - 20. actions speak louder than words15:45 - 21. the road to recovery for pickmeshas16:05 - 22. men need to learn to love others, women need to learn to love themselves16:08 - question 218:02 - 23. awareness is a privilege 18:39 - 24. you can’t consume your way into a new pattern18:57 - 25. if you have complex trauma, seek the guidance of a mental health professional19:12 - 26. eliminating triggers and isolation is not enough19:19 - 27. you need to add activities that bring you joy and activate your creativity and self-expression19:45 - 28. the “flow state”19:56 - 29. the illusion of a flow state from external sources20:25 - 30. journalling21:01 - 31. keep an ick listspeak to professionals21:21 - 32. set a good example for yourself22:18 - 33. lock in22:52 - 34. believe in your future self23:39 - 35. speak to professionals!

audio recording of our first baddie book club discussion session!! thank you to the baddies who attended and shared their questions, thoughts and feelings! if you would like to join the baddie book club, please join us on patreon! i am re-working the reading schedule and am open to hosting additional discussion sessions to accommodate different timezones. let me know!!! ♡ please share your own insights in the comment section too so we can continue the conversation!!Session notes:00:00 - introdution/first impressions05:14 - self-esteem is essential for survival, self-esteem and work10:39 - continuing to learn outside of formal academic environments14:08 - self-esteem and how to think vs what to think 16:00 - self-esteem and relationships, social circle19:21 - the road less travelled - ‘bracketing’ the ego30:26 - happiness without self-sabotage32:40 - fear of success32:26 - being comfortable in familiarity 32:35 - letting go of pain34:36 - changing how to relate to pain, trauma, events, relationships34:52 - healing vs growth, inegration, authenticity, self-actualization - self-help industry38:36 - the difference between pursuing growth vs perfectionism 41:41 - the pillars of health vs the health industry43:40 - mind & body44:31 - being too in your head - you can’t think your way into perfection or growth46:33 - give yourself space to process, observe and respond47:26 - on the other side of anxiety48:07 - hot girl habits - prioritizing yourself so that you can show up for your responsibilties50:37 - the importance of self-esteem in turbulent times52:10 - identity and purpose through stress/anxiety52:42 - how can i be content, do you don’t need to be in a constant state of ecstasy 53:17 - noticing when you are treating it like a destination and not a journey54:25 - question everything54:55 - its ok to make mistakes

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/DhFmgfKp73Q?si=D7aWmgHwrbQueGq3outlining some ideas around different types of connection and social circles - this is just a starting point and i actually found out about aristotle's 'types of friendship' (pleasure, utility, virtue) after filming this video and there's a lot of parallels between what is discussed in the video, so i would say its kind of like an expansion pack to his original idea. i think even though being social is inherent to human nature, there are so many factors that can complicate how we relate to ourselves and others, it doesn't hurt to take the time to reflect on our friendships and relationships generally so that we can ensure we are showing up with intention and authenticity! please share your thoughts and experiences too so we can continue the conversation!!03:08 - being hot & having fun revision04:47 - give yourself time to grow and evolve05:50 - categories of friendship/connection08:18 - social circles09:17 - your relationship with yourself10:37 - social circles11:14 - inner circle11:43 - acquaintance circle11:56 - balancing online and offline relationships13:27 - beware of performative values14:29 - realistic pacing14:46 - adjusting focus15:45 - moving between circles16:38 - don’t take change personallyfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! $3 a month, 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionsiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2autumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270

my thoughts on the people pleasing dynamic. i think healthy, balanced relationships take more work that we are willing to admit and it starts with your relationship with yourself first :') more thoughts to come!!!! let me know yours too!!!01:10 1. people pleasing dynamic02:29 2. connotations of people pleasing03:46 3. re-defining love04:07 4. underlying mindset04:42 5. being questioned/dismissed05:10 6. the habit of people pleasing05:39 7. non-negotiable hobbies to create boundaries06:59 8. consistency is key07:17 9. living to your full potential is the priority08:28 10. resentment and self-abandonment/disappointment08:51 11. other people’s problems actually aren’t your problem09:16 12. redirect the energy into something constructive/creative/for yourself10:04 13. accept that you’ve underestimated your ability/capacity/potential10:21 14. people pleasing creates an inauthentic dynamic10:41 15. make a note of incompatibilities as they arise11:10 16. notice the reflex of taking it personally11:31 17. you feel like a bitch compared to the people-pleasing version of you12:31 18. who cares12:51 19. the price of being hot and having fun13:18 20. learn to discern13:38 21. don’t let people guilt you into a lose-win situation14:00 22. pay me to care14:58 23. boundaries are self-responsibility for your energy and attention15:42 24. allow space to process your own emotions and triggers too17:06 25. people pleasing in group dynamics18:03 26. write down your priorities18:58 27. accept the consequences & take responsibility, are you willing to pay the price19:15 29. your integrity is compromised if you are always looking to assign blame to othersfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillaslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionhttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/e4hrPViYKK8using an analogy about food to talk about transactional relationships and energy exchange. often times we are too externally focused on how other people behave and guessing their intentions. in reality, i feel like when you are locked in on what YOUR intentions are and contributing/giving/showing up from an authentic place, you take everything less personally and which relationships are mutually beneficial and reciprocal will naturally present themselves. your ability to discern who you do and don't want to be around will improve over time as well! let me know your thoughts and any other analogy ideas you have!follow me on IG ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillasiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2autumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundleThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionhttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/boT5swEW5vsif you've been following me for a while, you'll probably have heard me reference and recommend this book over and over. the six pillars of self-esteem by nathaniel branden literally changed my life, it put so much of what i was struggling to put into practice, into words and actionable steps. i can't recommend this book enough!!! rather than just repeating what is already in the book - because i recommend you read it for yourself - this video approaches the pillars of self-esteem through the lens of being hot & having fun. let me know if you've read the book and please keep me posted if you do!i've made a summary and sentence completion worksheet that is available for purchase and download. you can use it as additional journal prompts in your journalling or thought-dumping practice!The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem x Being Hot & Having Fun Sentence Completion Exerciseshttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem-x-being-hot-having-fun-sentence-completionThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteemhttps://amzn.to/496J0SD (*) affiliate linkthis is the first video in the 'hot girl book club' series where i discuss books that have been directly or indirectly influential on me and the philosophy of being hot & having fun.05:06 - being hot & having fun revision05:54 - pillar i: the practice of living consciously07:00 - pillar ii: the practice of self-acceptance09:06 - pillar iii: the practice of self-responsibility 10:55 - pillar iv: the practice of self-assertiveness12:57 - pillar v: the practice of living purposefully14:38 - pillar vi: the practice of personal integrity 21:57 - the principle of reciprocal causation

i’ve been going on about the importance of a non-negotiable hobby for ages and i’ve also had a lot of questions about pole dance so this is a video that covers both!! 01:05 - non-negotiable hobby: defined 05:40 - my journey with pole dance 08:39 - dance & sexuality/sexuality 10:36 - the power of consistency & practice 11:06 - static vs spin pole 11:39 - tricks vs choreo 13:16 - buying heels 14:39 - body types 15:20 - pain tolerance 15:49 - types of grip 16:37 - knee pads & clothing 17:20 - prepping for class 17:27 - embrace the learning curve follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/fCgEU8hkT2Ai get a lot of questions about how to handle conflict with parents. while i can't speak to the nuances of every relationship, here are some thoughts and feelings that i hope might be applicable or helpful. i know the holiday season can be really overwhelming for some people and i think there are ways we can prepare so that we aren't wasting too much energy on being ugly & having a bad time so we can focus on being hot & having fun, duh!!! 02:19 - 1. your parents want what’s best for you 03:50 - 2. your parents are random people 06:17 - 3. practice gratitude 09:46 - 4. avoid overcommunicating 12:53 - 5. embrace the way your relationship changes over time 14:27 - 6. come up with a game plan 15:23 - 7. cultivate the habit of creating your own safe space 17:07 - 8. financial independence follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/l2Fnj9WalcUtrying is cool !!!!!! 01:26 - nonchalant definitions & connotations 02:46 - the opposite of nonchalant 04:13 - what being “chalant” requires of you 05:22 - don’t compare their end result to your first step 06:05 - familiarize yourself with the discomfort of progress 06:51 - what is the value you want in the process vs the outcome 07:37 - the only person accountable for your time is you 08:38 - being nonchalant is the reward, not the motivator 08:55 - focus on how you want to FEEL not just how it will look 09:27 - pick your hard 10:16 - everyone’s full capacity if unique to them 11:59 - don’t waste energy making assumptions about other people 13:16 - regulate your emotions 14:13 - looking good is expensive - materially & energetically 16:02 - focus on yourself!!!! 16:35 - am i really working to my full capacity? 17:25 - have a real purpose behind what you do 17:48 - you will be out-chalanted 18:04 - the real competition is between you and your former self 18:19 - imagine yourself in the past and in the future 18:43 - don’t die waiting for other people’s permission 20:04 - GET OVER YOURSELF follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

an intro to how i think about and practice awareness around patriarchal conditioning, internalised misogyny and de-centering men. a very complex topic which i hope we can further explore together. for many women the only thing between them and their next slay is a man or the imagined gaze of a man........ let's de-condition together!! i have a patreon only video about recent encounters that made me reflect on the nuances of misandry and hating men as well ~ come join us on patreon!!! 00:57 - 1. the patriarchy 03:35 - 2. the “pick-me” seed 09:45 - 3. the 4 A’s of realizing things - awareness - anger - acceptance - action 10:41 - 4. how is the seed activated 12:09 - 5. challenging your ego 12:54 - 6. integration not avoidance 13:40 - 7. lean into your insecurities & reclaim your skills 14:57 - 8. beauty 15:55 - 9. domestic labour 17:04 - 10. desirability 19:46 - 11. emotional labour 20:40 - 12. radically accept & stay woke subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/vOWAI0hOp-Mhi baddies ~ here are some thoughts for anyone feeling overwhelmed about their job and how it fits into their identity or feel like there's something wrong with them that they don't feel 'passionate' about their job. obviously this is a very nuanced topic and this is just one perspective. let me know what you think, share your experiences and let me know which other angles we can discuss from! love ya xx 02:34 - 02:56 - don’t make assumptions about other people’s work 02:58 - 04:00 - aspire for a full life & identity, not one just consumed by work 04:02 - 04:27 - detach from your job 04:27 - 04:48 - how can your job facilitate a life with passion 04:51 - 06:18 - hustle culture 06:27 - 07:01 - the privilege of awareness 07:02 - 07:36 - disrespect is not a prerequesite to success 07:39 - 11:25 - reverse engineer the vibe of success for you 11:28 - 11:43 - micro-dosing risk 11:45 - 12:05 - do an audit of your life 12:05 - 13:01 - don’t assume that all hobbies need to be monetized 13:04 - 14:02 - figure out your balance between compensation & creativity 14:10 - 14:18 - this is a chapter not the whole book follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/8Opz3x8ws48be mindful of who you give vibe donations to!!!! 01:57 - 1. low vs high vibrations 05:09 - 2. self-awareness 06:12 - 3. superficial connections 07:16 - 4. vibe donation 10:44 - 5. check for blindspots 13:37 - 6. define the vibe you want for your life 16:06 - 7. negging 17:58 - 8. emotional voids 18:52 - 9. protect yourself 19:47 - 10. what is being exchanged in the relationship 20:27 - 11. there’s no prize for “best people pleaser” 21:00 - 12. break the cycle, re-direct energy 21:30 - 13. conversations can open you up to manipulation 22:13 - 14. quiet withdrawal 22:32 - 15. let people feel your absence 22:49 - 16. focus on yourself 23:31 - 17. having a conversation 24:04 - 18. price of re-entry 25:19 - 19. personal responsibility to keep adjusting 26:06 - 20. the hard cut off/ no contact 27:14 - 21. be ok with being a b*tch follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡ patreon.com/amberakilla siren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2 autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270 slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/TblTGkOemwIi got sent videos about this article by so many people i decided to just share some thoughts in a video!! i think the article was great and is indicative of a shift in how people view and value relationship status as part of their identity and self-worth.read the article here: https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-nowbooks mentioned: The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward https://amzn.to/4jvfFoz (*)The Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peck https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)02:12 - being hot & having fun04:08 - what is love?04:39 - what we learn about ourselves through dating dynamics06:29 - discussing the article10:08 - does having a boyfriend facilitate being hot & having fun14:36 - defining and embodying being hot & having fun17:10 - exercising your female rights19:55 - heterosexuality and patriarchy20:39 - who are you outside of your relationship status?22:21 - being intentionally single23:18 - heterosexual repair industry24:47 - cognitive dissonance27:30 - the effect of social media on our perception of relationships 29:00 - when influencers post their boyfriends31:17 - to hard launch or not to hard launch32:57 - your relationship is other people’s entertainment34:06 - is your relationship part of your story or your identity35:08 - i think its embarrassing to be sad for too long…periodfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! 1 week free trial! ♡patreon.com/amberakillasiren songs playlist for femininity and slay :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ https://open.spotify.com/playlist/46yJM6jydtkVN1XWCvlfHl?si=270318a4cc7a44a2slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlehttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/0u9iMbXQhV8DO IT FIRST AND LAUGH IT OFF LATER :D1:56 - internet illusions3:33 - micro-dosing risk4:14 - understanding your patterns7:25 - breaking patterns9:02 - its not hard its just new10:41 - yolo11:31 - do it ironically14:19 - gaslight yourself14:36 - work with your authentic voice15:31 - focus on consistency17:17 - appreciate contrast17:57 - protect your self conceptfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillaautumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlehttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/qXdL5JjLVAwwe are constantly being sold the illusion that time which is paid for is the most 'valuable' time which can allow for anxiety and depression to build up. having awareness and intention in how we spend our time and ensuring that we are able to bring ourselves back to the present moment is one of the most radical things we can do in an attention economy.1:00 - 1. the past and future are illusions2:23 - 2. time in a false heirarchy4:12 - 3. the illusion of productivity vs boredom5:38 - 4. colonizing your boredom6:02 - 5. get some interests6:38 - 6. consumption, creativity, contribution8:12 - 7. being present11:34 - 8. break the cycle12:11 - 9. time is the most valuable resource12:54 - 10. allocating your time and attention15:15 - 11. priorities and relationships16:46 - 12. presence in discomfort17:53 - 13. question your conditioning20:12 - 14. adjust with each life stage21:51 - 15. re-direct and allow for re-calibration22:13 - 16. set intentions and boundaries24:48 - 17. enjoy the journey24:57 - 18. success is overcoming failure25:24 - 19. be hot & having fun or die trying26:08 - 20. diversify your options27:00 - 21. is it your mindset, your circumstances or a combinationfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/autumn in my arms playlist !!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free download https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillahttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

youtube episode: https://youtu.be/qXdL5JjLVAwthank you so much for subscribing and supporting the channel angels!!!this is a long one so strap in. something i didn't mention was of course to also consult mental health professionals when you're going through it.sometimes its worth going even when things seem like they're fine just for a lil check up and deep dive.let me know in the comments what has helped you to increase your baseline, how you maintain it and any questions!02:37 - 1. everything is vibes03:42 - 2. everything is changing all the time04:01 - 3. integrating spiritual and material04:33 - 4. where is your baseline05:17 - 5. mind vs matter07:40 - 6. define success for yourself10:02 - 7. discipline - constructive vs destructive the road less travelled by m. scott peck https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)1. delaying of gratification2. acceptance of responsibility3. dedication to truth4. balancing18:40 - 8. integrating your emotions19:50 - 9. diffuse your awareness21:09 - 10. being present, practicing non-judgement24:37 - 11. give up on being perfect, enjoy the journey26:28 - 12. life audit32:40 - 13. social audit, community33:35 - 14. contribute to something outside of yourself34:12 - 15. creativity35:29 - 16. baby steps atomic habits - james clear https://amzn.to/496J0SD (*)37:08 - 17. conclusion(*)amazon affiliate linksfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/subscribe for friend crush club groupchat, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡ patreon.com/amberakillaautumn in my arms playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1443BT6zmwdWnRx9nCP1tf?si=f954fb299af54270slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlehttps://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla