Friend Crush with Amber Akilla

i got asked about imposter syndrome recently, there's definitely some overlap with comparing yourself to others (see previous video) but i made this video as an add on/extension. let me know your thoughts as always please!! my skin looks so bad here but i was too lazy to put a filter on so i'm keeping it 99 !!!xx02:30 - everyone is a newbie at some point03:28 - confidence revised04:10 - life is a project, performance art!05:09 - confident people won’t judge you or put you down05:36 - lock in on your purpose07:10 - don’t always assume competition08:04 - understanding your projections08:21 - make friends, connect over common experience09:09 - recognize the unpredictability of each person’s journey09:40 - healthy competition09:59 - embrace your uniqueness10:16 - what your know vs who you know10:50 - understanding nepotism11:55 - build your own thing instead of feeling like you need to be allowed into someone else’s project13:28 - redefine success 14:40 - diversify your focus and interests15:19 - legally blonde - elle woods is an icon!18:10 - redefine purposefollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

talking through the mental blocks that can occur when we get stuck on comparing ourselves to others in a way that hinders our ability to be HOT and HAVE FUN !!!03:33 - radical acceptance05:11 - practicing gratitude07:07 - set intentions07:52 - lean into irony when being serious feels like a joke08:37 - abundance vs delusion09:45 - your mindset affects your decision making11:00 - awareness + intentional action11:28 - practice connecting with your experience of life11:41 - you will face challenges no matter what13:10 - rejection is protection and redirection14:14 - nobody knows what they’re doing15:58 - other people’s success are evidence of what is possible18:03 - be honest with yourself about the lengths you will go18:25 - your own story unfolds through action, not comparison19:27 - additional thoughts20:22 - there's more than just what you think or have been told is 'success'21:00 - understanding your validation needs22:28 - how my idea of success as a DJ has changed over timefollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

that overwhelming "wtf" feeling01:54 - context can differ, dyanmic/feelings are usually consistent02:45 - its better to do something, rather than nothing03:12 - don’t let perfect be the enemy of good04:06 - learn to be a beginner05:23 - what i learnt during the panini (external changes)06:43 - noticing the negative thought pattern: “when x happens, then i can be happy”06:48 - lean into how you feel - anything repressed/suppressed will start to infect your life07:31 - getting sick of yourself07:37 - what would your younger self/future self think08:43 - follow your curiosity11:06 - there is so much you can’t control/ certainty is an illusion11:38 - 20% of the work for 80% of the outcomes12:03 - saying yes to random opportunties13:37 - find something to anchor you and organize your time around14:37 - you can’t always predict how things will unfold15:08 - internal transition phases15:27 - trying is better than nothing17:03 - the outcome and structure forms as you go17:10 - it doesn’t have to be related - focus on enjoying17:48 - do it because you want to - not because of what you think other people will think18:14 - what other people think is a collateral benefit18:35 - you can do something you enjoy and it still be difficult19:00 - things will be hard regardless20:24 - don’t wait for the world to change or give you permission21:16 - the value of small steps over complete overhauls21:46 - focus on being present22:14 - you can’t think your way into the present moment22:30 - cutting down on social media25:14 - you never know what’s going to happen!!!follow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

a short video with a gentle reminder that your mental/spiritual/emotional growth doesn't have to look a certain way in order to be valid. maybe your physical and mental glow up happens at the same time and it will be more effective when you are intentional about integrating the range of skills and experiences required - many of which i discuss in previous video and podcast content. please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!!!love ya xxfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

don't let the haters stop you from doing ur thangfollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/dead or alive summer 2025 playlist !!!https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lezLPXhmrrrs1wD4GzDnI?si=108bae9312df4374slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

when being the bigger person is overratedif you wish me bad, i wish you _____ !!!!01:53 - 04:25 - 1. define love, acknowledge your efforts04:25 - 05:21 - 2. what fantasy or potential did you become attached to05:22 - 05:52 - 3. withdraw your effort05:53 - 09:07 - 4. redirect, transmute & alchemize your energy09:08 - 11:30 - 5. neutrality over positivity (for now)11:31 - 14:36 - 6. be prepared & train for awkward moments14:37 - 15:57 - 7. don’t assume you know how someone is coping, focus on yourself15:58 - 16:35 - 8. everyone’s karma is their personality 16:36 - 17:25 - 9. have a constructive & generative mindset not a destructive one17:26 - 18:58 - 10. being protective during initial healing18:59 -20:54 - 11. wish them nothing20:56 - 22:40 - 12. everything is changing all the time, transformation takes consistent effort over timefollow me on IG ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

slay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

watch this if you're looking to start or still skeptical about journalling !!!4:36 the artist’s way, being consistent5:45 free printables & habit trackers5:54 the six pillars of self esteem6:42 create a judgement free space for your thoughts7:38 you don’t have to revisit or re-read8:34 normalize crashing out in private10:02 allow for new thoughts11:25 positive scripting12:05 re-affirm whats important to you12:50 prepare for things to change13:47 prepare for new challenges14:59 being intentional with time & energy16:22 tools requiredslay habit trackers ☆ free downloadhttps://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundlesubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

girl, you might be a VICTIM??!!!referenced video on female bullyinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL5qDFDttps4:46 indirect, passive agression5:45 group size6:20 incompatibility 6:54 social isolation & the grey zone7:12 jealousy & envy7:32 aggression inhibitors8:13 being hot is a threat11:15 prevention11:35 avoid emotional reactions12:03 employ humour/wit12:35 insecurity/second chances12:53 get social skills/new friends14:15 be true to your core values16:05 learn to be alone16:57 clock those one sided relationships18:54 gatekeep vulnerability20:32 don’t question fate22:36 allow time to pass & the tea to spillsubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠slay habit trackers ☆ free download⁠https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

hope this helps!!! let me know :Pchronically online behviournobody cares that muchembrace the discomfort & cringebaby steps & experimental approachcreate your own metric systempeople that have reconciled with their cringe, won’t judge youwhat is your value addbe real with yourselfradical acceptanceembrace evolutionsubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

some additional thoughts on how to adjust your mindset to make new friends. share your thoughts and experiences with me in the comments!!!referenced videos:30 & feeling lonely and disconnected:https://youtu.be/d31wkPGXUd0do what you enjoy:https://youtu.be/M_7URMkKPR8hot girl habits:https://youtu.be/DszRCbx0_AEsubscribe for full episodes, exclusive episodes & perks! ♡patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

what does it really take to be a “baddie”? to me, being a baddie is more than just an aesthetic, its an attitude, and one that you have to define for yourself and EXECUTE!!!!!! baddie defined personalise your approach success is not the absence of failure example process your emotions two approaches sense of humour grey-rock baddie in training be prepared to walk away define your bottom line 10. allow yourself to evolvesubscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡free trial available on patreon~ join the group chat!https://patreon.com/amberakilla⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠follow me ☆https://instagram.com/amberakilla/https://instagram.com/friend.crush/https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakillahttps://www.youtube.com/@amberakillahttps://twitter.com/amberakillahttps://soundcloud.com/amberakillahttps://open.spotify.com/user/amberakillahttps://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/amberakillayesstyle codeAMBER39

don't forget to slay!!! subscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡ https://patreon.com/amberakilla ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla https://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/amberakilla yesstyle code AMBER39

let's start speaking to the manager within!!! self-confrontation self-responsibility meeting other people's needs at the expense of your own maybe YOU need to validate you they aint reading all that make note of your blind spots the urge to purge is the means, NOT sending the essay text is the end process your anger true compatibility feels like peace, not war subscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡ https://patreon.com/amberakilla ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla https://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/amberakilla

sometimes you wanting the best for yourself and others, triggers the worst in people you actually care about........... SURPRISE!!!! it definitely surprised me... 1. any relationship context 2. nothing can prepare you 3. keep slaying 4. focus on the incompatibility rather than assigning blame 5. not everyone wants to slay 6. beware of selfish ass hoes 7. their behaviour is a projection 8. internal focus vs external focus, growth vs scarcity mindset 9. accept that you can't change them 10. don't minimise your truth for other people 11. sometimes your bestie is your #1 hater 12. some people are delusional to the point of detriment 13. slay requires sacrifice 14. nostalgia contributes no value to your future 15. sometimes its just your threatening aura 16. your new life will cost you your old one 17. reflect and revise 18. stay vigilant subscribe for exclusive podcast episodes ♡ https://patreon.com/amberakilla ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

slive slaugh slove slearn and slay ! let me know your thoughts, feelings and lessons on friendship in the comments!! 1. better to have no friends than bad friends 2. define your inner and outer circle 3. drifting isn’t a bad thing 4. your friends are not your therapist, you are not your friends’ therapist 5. your friends are your cheerleaders 6. you can’t save other people from their bad decisions 7. shared values over shared interests 8. you don’t have to be friends with everyone 9. be wary of those you connect with in a flop era 10. how somone treats you is how they treat everyone 11. are you taking about them more than you talk TO them? 12. if its broken let it break 13. slay together, don’t suffer together subscribe to friend crush with amber akilla! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

2025 only hit me up about the situationships you've ended, not the situationships you're in please & thank you xoxo 1. situationship defined 2. committment from a man is not a prize 3. you’re putting the vibes in jeopardy 4. this is incompatibility not a challenge 5. compatibility is not this hard 6. take yourself seriously 7. your trauma response is not your fault, but it is your responsibility 8. he has no motivation to change, your pain is your motivation 9. self-respect starts from within 10. you’re being anti-feminist against yourself 11. show yourself what committment is 12. you can’t put a relationship on your resume 13. it only gets worse, so get out 14. knowing early is a blessing 15. radically accept your delusion 16. create boundaires, get a hobby, cut contact 17. get real with yourself 18. do it for your fellow woman 19. you lack congruence between what you want and how you act subscribe to my podcast! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

some thoughts and suggestions on habits that worked for me in my darkest most flop hour... lay the foundation for your next slay, today!!!!!! downloadable / printable trackers here: https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle 1. 1% rule 2. visualise your brain garden 3. habit replacement 4. gaslight into a slay 5. give yourself a treat 6. rewrite your inner narrative 7. habit tracking 8. vision boarding 9. avoid skipping more than one day in a row 10. set a review date 11. habit stacking subscribe to friend crush with amber akilla! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

a list of practices and considerations i have used for digital distancing and to manage a healthier relationship with the internet and social media. its really use or be used, so make sure you set boundaries and protect your peace!!! subscribe to friend crush with amber akilla! ♡ ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla

part two of my 30 things i realised before 30!!! let me know what you thought of this video and if you have any specific topic requests~~ ⁠ subscribe to friend crush with amber akilla ☆ https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friend-crush/subscribe⁠ follow me ☆ https://instagram.com/amberakilla/ https://instagram.com/friend.crush/ https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla https://twitter.com/amberakilla https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla https://open.spotify.com/user/amberakilla notes: 16. you’ll rarely regret sitting on a purchase, but you’ll probably regret impulse buying 17. when in doubt, always play the long game - conflict 18. actions speak louder than words - make sure you have congruence between your own words and actions so you can vett other people 19. being single and learning to be ok alone is better than being in a shitty relationship 20. you are the sum of the people you surround yourself with - choose carefully - don't care what people think of you in the pursuit of what you love, but don't let your reputation precede you. 21. getting paid more doesnt mean the job itself is more intersting or fulfilling - make sure the extra money you make is spent on things/experiences/people you care about 22. just because you’ve finished formal education, doesn't mean the learning has stopped - its just begun! 23. the only way out is through - discomfort in growth and discipline are required - you cant buy your way into discipline or a better life 24. health is wealth - push yourself but know where the line is 25. familiarise yourself with rejection and failure - its not the absence of these things, its the ability to manage 26. how you think and speak to or about yourself is louder than what anyone else says to you 27. building anything on your own is going to take much longer than just attaching yourself to what already exists but its worth it 28. consult multiple sources don't take advice from anyone you don't consider aspirational, inspirational 29. GATEKEEP your time, energy and body 30. be hot & have fun