The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast

The Respectable Addiction: When Work Becomes the Coping Mechanism A reflection on burnout, identity, and recovery — plus practical action steps There's an addiction we rarely talk about because it looks like ambition. It earns praise. Promotions. Respect. It hides behind phrases like "driven," "productive," and "hard-working." But for many high achievers, work isn't just effort — it's a coping mechanism. In this episode, Dawn shares her story of a "workaholic blackout" — the moment she realized work had become her drug. After years of recovery from substances, she found herself caught in a new cycle: overwork, anxiety, identity tied to productivity, and eventual burnout. At one point, she drove home from work and had no memory of the drive. That was the moment everything shifted. What followed was a diagnosis of extreme burnout and a realization that she wasn't just "busy" — she was addicted to working.     When Work Stops Being Healthy One of the most powerful distinctions Dawn shared is this: Working hard doesn't make someone a workaholic. External pressure doesn't equal addiction. Workaholism comes from the inside. It's marked by: An internal compulsion to keep working Self-worth tied to productivity Constant thoughts about work Anxiety or guilt when not working Difficulty detaching — even during rest You can meet deadlines, put in long hours, and still be healthy. But when work becomes how you manage fear, grief, identity, or anxiety — it shifts from effort to escape.     Burnout Isn't Just Exhaustion Burnout isn't just being tired. It's a full-system collapse: Physical Emotional Mental Spiritual For many high performers, burnout mirrors an addiction "bottom." You keep pushing… until your system can't. And then something breaks. Relationships suffer. Health declines. Meaning fades. And the work that once energized you begins to feel like pressure, obligation, or proof of worth.     The Cultural Trap Our culture celebrates overworking. We glorify: Hustle Sacrifice Endless productivity "Grinding" for success But we rarely talk about the cost: Anxiety Family strain Loss of identity outside work Chronic stress Emotional detachment Workaholism is often called "the respectable addiction" because it looks admirable from the outside. Until it doesn't.     Recovery Isn't About Quitting Work Unlike substances, you can't abstain from work. Recovery is about boundaries, awareness, and redefining your relationship to productivity. Dawn shared practices that helped her rebuild balance: Under-scheduling instead of over-planning Creating "top lines" (healthy behaviors to commit to) Creating "bottom lines" (behaviors to avoid) Protecting time for joy, relationships, and rest Spiritual grounding and daily reflection Detaching self-worth from output It's less about doing less — and more about working from a different place. Not fear. Not "not enough." Not urgency. But intention.     Action Steps: Rebuilding a Healthy Relationship With Work If this episode resonated, here are simple starting points. 1) Notice the fuel behind your productivity Ask yourself: Am I working from joy… or fear? Is this aligned… or avoidance? Am I creating… or proving? 2) Separate urgency from importance Not everything urgent is important. And not everything important feels urgent. Pause before reacting. 3) Identify your "bottom lines" Examples: No work after a certain hour No phone during family time No checking email first thing in the morning 4) Define your "top lines" Healthy commitments like: Movement Hydration Connection Rest Creative time 5) Schedule spaciousness Recovery often begins with: Fewer commitments Fewer calls Fewer goals at once Space allows clarity. 6) Detach identity from productivity Practice this reframe: "I am enough — with or without what I produce today." 7) Watch for the "self-care productivity trap" Even healing can become another project. Self-care isn't something to optimize. It's something to experience.     Reflection Prompts Where is my self-worth tied to achievement? What am I avoiding by staying busy? When do I feel most at peace — and why? What would "enough" look like today?     Resources Mentioned Workaholics Anonymous literature and tools Journaling and recovery reflection practices Byron Katie's "The Work" inquiry process Anxiety and habit research (Dr. Judson Brewer) Recovery communities and peer support spaces (Referenced from episode transcript)     Final Thought You don't have to burn out to change your relationship with work. You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to prove your worth. You don't have to run on fear. There is another way to work — one rooted in clarity, presence, and enoughness. And it starts with one honest question: What's really driving me right now? Guest Contact Info:  👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Can I Moderate? Why This Question Matters More Than We Talk About For most of my recovery journey, I held a pretty firm belief: If you're questioning your drinking, the answer is probably abstinence. That belief came from both lived experience, as well as observing other people who struggle with alcohol. Personally, I never drank normally. From the very first drink, the switch flipped on—and it stayed on. I hit a hard bottom early, and after years of trying to moderate, the answer for me was clear: I could not moderate. As it turned out, for me abstinence meant freedom. And still… Over time, something softened in me. Not because I changed my relationship with alcohol—but because I started listening more closely to other people's experiences. The Question Everyone Has to Answer for Themselves I've come to believe this: "Can I moderate?" is not a denial question. It's a developmental one. For many people, it's the pivot point of their entire recovery journey. Some people answer it quickly. Some answer it painfully. Some don't answer it until years—sometimes decades—later. But skipping the question doesn't make it disappear. And that's why my conversation with Nick Allen, CEO and co-founder of Sunnyside, felt so important. Nick grew up in an AA household. Both of his parents are in long-term recovery. He understands abstinence deeply—and still, his own relationship with alcohol took a different path. Instead of waiting for a crisis, he began asking a quieter question early on: What does a healthy relationship with alcohol look like for me—right now? That question eventually became Sunnyside: a platform designed to help people explore change before things fall apart. The Missing Middle Here's the reality I see again and again: Most people are offered two options: Figure it out Quit forever And when those are the only choices on the table, a huge number of people choose to keep trying to figure it out. Not because they're reckless. Not because they don't care. But because abstinence can feel overwhelming, stigmatizing, or premature—especially for people who are still functioning "well enough." Research suggests there's often a 10-year gap between when alcohol becomes a problem and when someone seeks help. Ten years. Think about what happens in ten years: Careers strained Health eroded Relationships damaged Kids absorbing instability they can't name yet Waiting is not neutral. Why Willpower Isn't the Answer One thing Nick and I aligned on immediately: Willpower is a terrible long-term strategy. Willpower is finite. It's lowest at the exact moments people need it most: After a long day During stress At the witching hour (5–7pm) On Fridays when it's "been a week" Sunnyside takes a different approach: Decisions are made ahead of time, when clarity is high Habits are supported with structure, not shame Accountability is externalized, not moralized This is how real behavior change works. A Word About Naltrexone (And Nuance) We also talked openly about naltrexone, a medication that's been FDA-approved for decades to help reduce alcohol cravings. Here's what matters: It doesn't make people sick It doesn't require abstinence It reduces the reward loop that drives compulsive drinking I've had clients use it successfully—particularly high-functioning people who struggled with the "off switch," not daily drinking. But for people earlier in the process—people quietly wondering, "Is this still working for me?"—tools like this can interrupt years of silent suffering. Language Matters More Than We Think One of the most powerful parts of this conversation was about vocabulary. Words like addict, alcoholic, relapse, recovery—they carry weight. For some people, they offer clarity and belonging. For others, they create shame, fear, and avoidance. If the language feels too heavy, people wait. Sunnyside intentionally avoids labels and instead talks about: Alcohol overuse Habit change Awareness Experimentation That shift alone can make change feel possible. Where I Land Now I'm still sober and have no desire to drink again. I still believe abstinence is the right path for most people who struggle with alcohol. And I also believe we need earlier, gentler, more honest entry points into change. The goal of sobriety—or moderation, or reduction—isn't the absence of alcohol. It's: Freedom Health Presence A life that actually works If someone can get there sooner, with less damage along the way, I'm all for it.     Action Steps If this resonated, here are a few grounded next steps: Ask the question honestly Is alcohol adding to my life—or quietly taking from it? Move from judgment to curiosity You don't need a label to run an experiment. Plan ahead of cravings Decisions made in advance beat willpower every time. Seek support early Coaching, tracking, community, and medical tools are preventative—not last resorts. Protect what already works If abstinence is serving you, honor that. No need to second-guess stability.     Resources Sunnyside: https://www.sunnyside.co/arlina Sunnyside Med (Naltrexone access) NIH research on alcohol use disorder and treatment gaps AA and abstinence-based recovery programs (for those who already know)     If you're listening to this podcast, reading this post, or even asking the question quietly to yourself—you're already earlier than most. And earlier matters.   Guest Contact Info: https://get.sunnyside.co/arlina 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

There's a point in many recovery journeys where insight stops being the problem. You know what to do. You understand your patterns. And yet… change still feels hard. In this episode, I talk with Paula Robbins, author of Hitchhiking Into Recovery, who has over 37 years of sobriety, about why that happens—and what actually sustains healing over the long haul.     The Ride That Opened the Door Paula's recovery didn't begin with a dramatic intervention. It began when she was picked up hitchhiking in 1988 by someone living a sober, connected life. That single interaction mattered because it interrupted isolation. Not with willpower. With connection.     Addiction Is a Disconnection Problem Paula grew up with trauma, neglect, and instability. Alcohol became a way to shut down overwhelming emotions long before she had language for what was happening. By age 12, she was drinking to blackout. What stands out isn't just the trauma—it's what was missing: Safety Emotional guidance Consistent connection Addiction wasn't a moral failure. It was a survival strategy.     Feelings Aren't Facts One of Paula's most grounding principles is simple: Feelings and facts are not the same. Recovery didn't eliminate difficult emotions—it created space to respond instead of react. That pause is where real change happens.     The Four Pillars That Sustain Recovery After decades of sobriety, Paula distilled what actually works into four stabilizing forces: Community – healing happens in relationship Mentorship – someone to help you see clearly Service – contribution rebuilds self-esteem Daily spiritual alignment – prayer, meditation, or quiet time These pillars show up in every effective recovery model because they address the root issue: disconnection.     Divine Alignment vs. Self-Will Paula explains divine alignment not as certainty, but as a felt sense. When she's controlling outcomes, she feels restless and tight. When she surrenders—even briefly—things soften. Sometimes all it takes is the simple phrase: "Thy will be done."     A Gentle Reminder If change feels hard, it doesn't mean you're failing. It may simply mean effort isn't the missing piece—connection is.     One Small Action Try just one: Strengthen one pillar that feels weak Take a 5-minute daily pause Offer one small act of service Notice a feeling without acting on it Healing doesn't require fixing yourself. It starts with not doing it alone.     Resources Mentioned Hitchhiking Into Recovery 12-Step Recovery Programs Step 3 Prayer Step 11: Prayer and Meditation Service work in recovery Guest Contact Info:  👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Quitting Drinking Was Easy. Learning How to Parent Angry Kids Was Not. One of the things I loved about my conversation with Zach Brittle is how honest he was about what recovery really looks like—especially for parents. Zach said something that stopped me in my tracks: "Quitting drinking was the easiest part." For him, the real work began when alcohol was gone and anger, resentment, and emotional reactivity were suddenly front and center. And if you're a parent in recovery, you probably know exactly what he means. When one person in a family system gets sober, everything shifts. Kids who adapted to chaos don't always feel safer right away. Sometimes they act out more. Sometimes they get angrier. Sometimes they pull away. Zach shared how his daughter went through her own painful process after he and his wife got sober—and how his job wasn't to fix her, control her, or defend himself. It was to stay regulated. Instead of escalating, he practiced pausing. Instead of taking the bait, he learned to sit with discomfort. Instead of rushing in to fix, he learned to be present. That didn't come naturally. He practiced. He rehearsed. He failed and tried again. And over time, trust began to rebuild—not because he forced it, but because he showed up differently. Action Steps If this episode resonated with you, try this: Notice your triggers – especially anger. It's information, not a failure. Pause before responding – ask, "What would make this worse?" and don't do that. Practice regulation – not perfection. You get better by showing up. Let time do its work – healing can't be rushed, especially with kids. Ask instead of assuming – "Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?" Recovery isn't just about removing alcohol. It's about learning how to be with yourself—and the people you love—when things get hard.     Resources Mentioned Marriage Therapy Radio – Podcast by Zach Brittle Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Parts-based therapy model Alcoholics Anonymous – Step work and resentment inventory Therapy & Parenting Support – Individual, couples, and family systems work Zach Guest Contact Info: https://marriagetherapyradio.com/ 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

One of the most powerful moments in this conversation came when Amber said: "I didn't want to do what I was doing… but it became my comfort zone." If you've ever struggled with food, alcohol, or any compulsive behavior, you know exactly what she means. This episode isn't about dieting. It's about why the body holds on — to weight, habits, protection, and survival patterns — even when we desperately want to change. Amber walks us through her healing journey, from childhood trauma and food addiction to full recovery, and explains why binge eating isn't a lack of discipline — it's often a nervous system trying to self-soothe. We discuss: Why restriction and "all-or-nothing" thinking backfire How hormones quietly sabotage progress Why negative self-talk keeps the body in fight-or-flight The difference between managing symptoms and fully healing And why detachment — not obsession — is what allows real change The biggest takeaway? Your body isn't broken. It's protecting you. And once you understand why, everything changes.     ✅ Action Steps for Listeners Identify your triggers Write down emotional, physical, and environmental triggers (fatigue, stress, scale-checking, restriction). Stop blaming willpower Start asking: "What does my body need right now?" Pay attention to self-talk Notice when inner criticism appears — it's often a stress response. Support your nervous system Breathwork, journaling, walking in nature, and rest are not optional — they're foundational. Get curious about hormones If weight or cravings feel "stuck," there may be a biological reason. 📚 Resources Mentioned Hormone testing & functional ranges EFT tapping Journaling & emotional processing Nervous system regulation practices Amber's Body Freedom work & free quiz The No Sugarcoating Podcast Guest Contact Info: https://amberapproved.ca/ 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

I recently sat down with my dear friend and author, John Loxley to discuss the fundamentals of sobriety. John is 15 years sober and works in mental health services in the UK. We weren't talking about shiny breakthroughs or dramatic transformations. We were talking about the basics — the things that quietly keep sobriety intact, year after year. Because here's the truth: most people don't relapse because they don't know enough. They relapse because they slowly stop doing the things that keep them emotionally regulated, supported, and self-aware. This episode was a reminder of what really matters.     Lesson #1: Early Sobriety Is a Learning Phase — Listening Matters One of the first things we talked about was listening. When people are new to sobriety, there's often a strong urge to explain themselves, justify their story, or be understood. I remember feeling that way myself — desperate to make sure someone got me. But recovery starts to shift when listening becomes the priority. Listening to people who've been there. Listening to patterns. Listening instead of reacting. There's a time to talk — especially with sponsors, therapists, or trusted friends — but meetings and early recovery spaces are often best used as classrooms, not stages. Takeaway: You don't need to have the answers. You just need to be willing to learn.     Lesson #2: You Can't Do Sobriety Alone (No Matter How Independent You Are) A lot of people want to get sober "on their own." Not because they're lazy — but because they're private, capable, or burned by past systems. But isolation is where addiction thrives. Whether it's 12-step programs, SMART Recovery, therapy, coaching, or peer support — connection isn't optional. You don't need everyone. You need someone. And just as important: those people aren't there to fix you. They're there to walk with you.     Lesson #3: Sobriety Has to Stay the Top Priority This might be the most important lesson from the episode. Anytime sobriety stops being the priority — even years in — things start to unravel. Not always dramatically. Often quietly. You stop meditating. You stop checking in. You stop telling the truth. You stop doing the practices. And slowly… your nervous system takes over. John shared a powerful story about going on vacation, feeling great, and unintentionally leaving his recovery behind — only to realize how quickly emotional chaos can return when the practices stop. Sobriety isn't something you "graduate" from. It's something you maintain.     Lesson #4: Identity Drives Behavior One thing I'm passionate about is identity. You're not trying to get sober. If you didn't drink today, you are sober. Every sober action is a vote for the kind of person you're becoming. Instead of obsessing over what's wrong with you, it can be incredibly powerful to ask: Who do I admire? What traits do they embody? What small actions would reinforce those traits? Sobriety is the foundation — not the finish line.     Lesson #5: Triggers Are Teachers (Even Though We Hate That) We talked a lot about triggers — emotional reactions that feel bigger than the situation in front of us. If a response feels disproportionate, it's almost always about the past. Triggers aren't signs that you're failing. They're invitations to heal. When something activates fear, shame, or rage, there's usually something unresolved underneath. And once you work through it — whether through therapy, journaling, EMDR, or self-inquiry — that trigger loses its grip. There's often real growth hiding underneath discomfort.     Lesson #6: You Don't Need to Win — You Need to Understand One of the most relatable moments in the conversation was about conflict. Many of us learned early on that arguments are about winning. But there are no winners in emotional battles — only distance. A simple shift like: "Help me understand how you feel" "This is what I'm hearing — is that right?" can completely change the outcome of a conversation. Feeling understood often dissolves the fight entirely.     Action Steps You Can Take This Week If you want to apply what we talked about, start here: Choose one daily recovery practice Meditation, journaling, meetings, movement — consistency matters more than intensity. Check your priority list Ask honestly: Is sobriety still at the top — or has it slipped? Identify one trigger When you feel emotionally hijacked, ask: What does this remind me of? Clarify your identity Write down 5 character traits you want to embody — then choose one small daily action that supports them. Strengthen accountability Make sure there's at least one person you can be fully honest with — without editing yourself.     Resources Mentioned in This Episode 12-Step Recovery Programs – For connection, structure, and accountability SMART Recovery – A non-12-step alternative focused on tools and self-management Atomic Habits by James Clear – Identity-based behavior change Unwinding Anxiety by Dr. Judson Brewer – Understanding habit loops and emotional patterns Meditation & Journaling – Daily practices for emotional regulation EMDR Therapy – Trauma-focused healing for emotional triggers Guest Contact Info:  👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Hi friend, thank you for downloading the episode, my name is Arlina and I'll be your host.   In case you haven't seen it, the new show notes include all the action steps and links to resources mentioned in the podcast, along with a link to the YouTube interview. You can access them by visiting the website at odaatchat.com   I keep hearing from listeners that they are missing some of the episodes and as it turns out, only 73% percent of listeners are subscribed. So if you could do me a favor and take a moment to make sure you are subscribed, that would be tremendously helpful. It's the free and easy way to support the podcast and help us keep things going. Thank you so much for being a part of our journey and the mission to help others struggling with addiction, mental health and personal growth. With your support, you are quite literally helping us to save lives. Thank you so much! This episode is with one of my biggest recovery heroes, Dr. Stephanie Covington. She is a pioneer in addiction recovery, and the author of "A Woman's Way Through The 12 Steps", published more than 30 years ago. It  was the first book to interpret the steps specifically to address the unique issues women in recovery face, which has helped an untold number of people. Today I sit down with her to talk about her new book, Awaken Your Sexuality: A Guide to Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma This is a topic that has remained largely silent in recovery spaces for decades. We explore why sexuality is so often ignored in treatment and 12-step settings, how shame thrives in silence, and what it actually takes to rebuild a healthy, integrated relationship with our bodies, desires, and boundaries. Dr. Covington shares why healing must start with the self, how childhood trauma shapes adult intimacy. This episode is compassionate, practical, and incredibly validating for anyone in recovery who has ever felt lost and alone when dealing with their sexuality. So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Dr Stephanie Covington.   SHOW NOTES:   Guest Contact Info:  👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Anxiety Isn't the Problem — It's the Habit Loop Behind It I recently had a conversation with psychiatrist and neuroscientist Jud Brewer that stopped me in my tracks — not because it was abstract or inspirational, but because it finally explained something I've lived with for decades. Even in long-term sobriety. Even with years of self-work, therapy, meetings, journaling, and personal development. That thing is anxiety — and more specifically, how anxiety quietly turns into habits like worrying, overthinking, scrolling, information hoarding, procrastinating, and self-judgment. What Dr. Brewer helped me see is this: Anxiety isn't a personal flaw. It's a learned habit loop. And once I saw that clearly, everything changed.     Worry Is a Behavior — Not a Personality Trait One of the most powerful reframes from our conversation was this: Worry isn't just a feeling — it's something we do. Anxiety shows up as a sensation in the body. Worry is the mental behavior we use to try to control that sensation. And here's the trap: Worry feels productive. It feels like we're doing something. That tiny sense of relief is enough to reward the brain — which means the loop gets reinforced. Anxiety → Worry → Temporary relief → Repeat Over time, this becomes automatic. So automatic we don't even realize we're doing it. That's the definition of a habit.     Why "Why Am I Like This?" Keeps Us Stuck As someone in recovery, I'm very familiar with the idea of "getting to the root cause." Childhood trauma, identity, shame, conditioning — all of that matters. But here's what surprised me: Dr. Brewer says the "why" is often the least important part when it comes to changing anxiety. Not because the past doesn't matter — but because focusing on why often keeps us stuck in our heads instead of helping us change what we're doing right now. When anxiety hits, the more helpful question isn't: "Why am I like this?" It's: "What am I getting from this behavior?" That question shifts us from self-blame to curiosity — and curiosity is where real change begins.     The Default Mode Network (AKA: The Overthinking Machine) We also talked about the brain's default mode network — the system that activates when we're not focused on a task. This network lights up when we: Worry about the future Replay the past Judge ourselves Compare ourselves to others Crave, resist, or ruminate In other words: it's the "me, me, me" network. When fear (an urge to act now) gets crossed with planning (thinking about the future), we get anxiety. Anxiety doesn't help us act. It freezes us. That's why so many high-achievers know exactly what to do — and still don't do it.     The Three Gears of Change (This Is the Part That Actually Helps) Dr. Brewer's work focuses on a simple but profound process he calls the three gears: ⚙️ Gear 1: Awareness Notice the behavior. Worrying. Scrolling. Self-judging. Avoiding. No fixing. No shaming. Just noticing. If it's automatic, it's a habit — and habits can be changed.     ⚙️ Gear 2: Ask "What Am I Getting From This?" This is the most overlooked step. Not: "What should I be doing?" "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I just stop?" But: What is this giving me right now? Safety? Distraction? Avoidance of shame? Temporary relief? When we see clearly that the reward is small — and the cost is high — the habit starts to lose its power.     ⚙️ Gear 3: Find the Bigger, Better Offer This is where things shift. Instead of numbing, distracting, or fighting anxiety, we learn to meet it differently — and that feels better than the habit itself. That's where the RAIN practice comes in.     RAIN: A Way to Be With Anxiety Without Escaping It RAIN stands for: R – Recognize what's happening A – Allow it to be there I – Investigate with curiosity (What does this feel like in my body?) N – Note what's happening moment to moment Here's the surprising part: When we stop trying to get rid of anxiety and simply observe it, it often passes on its own. Cravings peak and fall. Sensations rise and fade. Even when they feel like they'll last forever — they don't.     Action Steps (Try This This Week) If anxiety, overthinking, or procrastination are showing up in your life, try this: Catch the Habit Notice when anxiety turns into worrying, scrolling, or self-judgment. Ask One Question What am I getting from this right now? Practice RAIN Don't fix. Don't flee. Just observe. Change the Language Instead of "I am anxious," try: "I'm noticing anxiety in my body." Let the Wave Pass You don't have to do anything for it to end.     Resources Mentioned Unwinding Anxiety by Jud Brewer Trigger–Habit–Outcome Mapping (free worksheet referenced by Dr. Brewer) RAIN mindfulness practice Going Beyond Anxiety program (Dr. Brewer's advanced work)     Final Thought You're not broken. You're not failing. You're not missing some secret piece of information. Your brain learned a habit — and habits can be unlearned. With awareness, curiosity, and kindness, anxiety doesn't have to run your life. It can become a signal — not a sentence. 💛 Guest Contact Info:  👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation with Emma is that anxiety, depression, and burnout aren't character flaws—they're nervous system responses to feeling unsafe. We talked about how depression often mirrors the nervous system's shutdown response, and how anxiety shows up as fight-or-flight. When your body feels overwhelmed for too long, it doesn't motivate you—it protects you. Why Worry Keeps You Stuck Emma explained that worry is actually reinforced behavior. When we worry and nothing bad happens, our brain learns, "That worked—do it again." Over time, worry becomes automatic. This is why telling yourself to "just stop worrying" never works. One Tool That Can Reduce Anxiety by Up to 80% One of the most practical tools we discussed is Scheduled Worry: Instead of worrying all day, you train your brain to worry at a specific time—usually 10–15 minutes in the afternoon. Outside of that window, you gently remind yourself, "I'll deal with this at 5pm." This retrains the brain instead of fighting it. Burnout and Fear-Based Fuel Emma shared how she burned out after years of pushing herself—weekly YouTube videos, pregnancy, parenting, and running a business. What stood out most was this idea: Fear is a dirty fuel source. When we're driven by fear—of failure, not being enough, or letting others down—we eventually crash. Healing often means switching fuel sources to trust, values, and self-permission to slow down. ✅ Action Steps for Listeners Set a daily check-in alarm (once an hour) to notice: What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What's happening in my body? Practice willingness instead of avoidance Let the feeling exist without trying to fix it. Try Scheduled Worry for 7 days 10–15 minutes/day, written out. Clarify your locus of control Separate what you can control from what you can't. Choose one value-aligned action Small, doable, and grounded—not fear-driven. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Therapy in a Nutshell (YouTube) Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) Burnout by Emily Nagoski Slow Productivity by Cal Newport The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry   Guest Contact Info: https://therapyinanutshell.com/ 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Choosing Yourself Isn't Selfish — It's Necessary In this episode of The One Day at a Time Recovery Podcast, I sit down with Hakeem to talk about what happens when performance, substances, and distractions can no longer protect us from unresolved pain. Hakeem shares how the death of his younger brother, years of buried grief, elite athletics, addiction, and eventually incarceration led him to a moment of total reckoning. Sitting alone in a jail cell — without substances, screens, or distractions — he was finally forced to face himself. What stood out to me most is Hakeem's belief that recovery isn't just about abstinence. It's about returning to our natural state — mentally, emotionally, and physically. Key Takeaways From Our Conversation 1. Addiction Is About Toxic Consumption Many people quit drinking but replace it with sugar, gambling, porn, caffeine, or overworking. The substance changes, but the avoidance doesn't. 2. The Work Has to Happen Before the Trigger If the inner work isn't done first, triggers become breaking points. When the work is done, triggers become opportunities for growth. 3. The TEFIC Framework Triggers – noticing what activates you Environment – what and who surrounds you Foundation – sleep, routines, structure Invest – time, energy, and money into growth Contribution – giving from overflow, not depletion 4. Community Is Where Healing Accelerates There's something powerful about being seen and understood by people who have lived it — not just professionals talking at you, but peers walking alongside you. Action Steps I Encourage You to Try Identify one "acceptable addiction" you might be using to avoid discomfort Build a minimum daily foundation you can keep even on hard days Journal on this question: What keeps showing up as a trigger in my life — and what might it be pointing to? Seek connection, not just more information     📚 Books & Resources Mentioned Choose Yourself to Be Chosen — Hakeem Bourn McFarlane The Untethered Soul — Michael A. Singer The Way of the Superior Man — David Deida Outwitting the Devil — Napoleon Hill Can't Hurt Me — David Goggins Atomic Habits — James Clear (referenced) So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!   Guest Contact Info:  Instagram: @bigdreamhakeem   👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

How Journaling, Community & Self-Compassion Can Transform Recovery: A Conversation with Sonia In this episode, Sonia from Sisters in Sobriety joins us for a deeply honest conversation about recovery, journaling, trauma, and rebuilding life after addiction. Sonia shares how her drinking escalated from teenage experimentation to daily wine-drinking as a high-functioning professional. While she never had the "traditional" external bottom, she described being emotionally bottomed out — chronically ill, blacking out, and unable to imagine a future. What finally shifted? A moment of clarity at brunch, when she said "no" to a mimosa for the first time. From there, she began exploring sobriety through AA literature, community support, and eventually the practice that changed everything: journaling. Key topics we covered: Moderation vs. abstinence: Some people can moderate; some can't. Addiction exists on a spectrum. Trauma and dissociation: Many of us learned early to ignore our intuition and numb discomfort. Healing through writing: Journaling processes emotions the same way talking to a friend does. Different journaling styles: Morning pages (The Artist's Way) Gratitude lists Emotional processing Prompt-based journaling Somatic/body-scan journaling Rebuilding after betrayal: Journaling helped Sonia reclaim her identity after divorce. The importance of community: A network of supportive women helped her through the darkest moments.     ACTION ITEMS FOR LISTENERS ✔️ Try morning pages for 7 days — write 3 pages of unfiltered thoughts every morning. ✔️ Start a nightly gratitude list focusing on 3 things from that day. ✔️ Practice a weekly "body-scan journal session" and write about physical sensations + emotions. ✔️ Identify 3 people you can call when you're struggling — and practice willingness calls. ✔️ Reflect on the question: Can I moderate? — and be honest with your evidence.     BOOKS MENTIONED Blackout — Sarah Hepola Running with Scissors — Augusten Burroughs The Artist's Way — Julia Cameron The Power of Two-Way Prayer — Father Bill W. Radical Self-Acceptance — Tara Brach The Obstacle Is the Way — Ryan Holiday   👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Today I am joined by Brett Eaton, who is a motivational speaker, high performance coach, and the best selling author of "Uncomfortable Either Way: The Blueprint For Building Confidence Through Discomfort". You might think that he doesn't fit the typical guest profile, but Brett's expertise on building confidence, behavior change, identity shifts, and building momentum - are the foundational building blocks of sobriety.   In this episode we talk about:   ✅ How accepting discomfort leads to change ✅ The importance of micro-commitments ✅ Why focusing on the wins is critical to recovery ✅ The antidote to perfectionism ✅ How to rebuild self-trust after years of self-betrayal   And so much more! He was so much fun to talk to, his energy is so contagious, I can't wait for you to meet him! Before we jump in, just a quick announcement: I am hosting a new meeting through the OpenRecovery App! It's like having an AI sober coach in your pocket, but now has a HUGE community feature with some of the most influential thought leaders in the recovery space.  Sign up for free and join "The 12 Step Group For Skeptics". It's a safe space to explore challenging topics, intended to help you make progress in the steps, and make some new sober friends in the process. It's every Wednesday on Zoom  at 4pm PST / 7pm EST. Some of the groups have a ton of members, and I'm super competitive, so join me and help me win this imaginary race! I can't wait to see you there!   Guest Contact Info: bretteaton.com Buy The Book: https://amzn.to/4pfawTm    👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com   Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.       Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

In today's episode, I sit down with my dear friend Julie Bloom - She's a coach, mental health trainer, multilingual communicator, and survivor of childhood abuse, and severe workplace trauma.  Julie shares her remarkable story of navigating PTSD, burnout, trauma, addiction, and a complete midlife unraveling… and how she rebuilt her identity through emotional regulation, nonviolent communication, and deep personal healing. Together we explore: ✨ Why emotional regulation is the foundation of all healing ✨ What actually happens in the brain during triggers ✨ How to respond instead of react ✨ The surprising power of compassionate communication ✨ The connection between trauma, addiction, and high achievement ✨ How sobriety opened the door for Julie's personal transformation ✨ Tools like the RAIN method, journaling, two-way prayer, adaptive thinking, and more If you've ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions, stuck in old patterns, or unsure how to communicate your needs… this episode will give you hope and real strategies you can use today. Before we jump in, I want to wish all who are celebrating a Happy Thanksgiving! This episode will be released on a day where many of us spend the day with family, for better or worse. For those who find Thanksgiving to be a challenging day, whether it's due to being around people who push your buttons, or the loneliness that comes from distance or estrangement, I wanted to offer some practical advice on getting through the day sober - both physically and emotionally.  First, start your day with self-care for your body, mind and spirit. Even if you can only spend 30 minutes in the morning doing it, the return will be well worth the investment. Think of it like this, if you have to travel a long distance, you'd put gas in your car first so that you could go the distance. Same thing with challenging or high emotion days. Be sure to fill your tank with inspirational literature, or content before venturing out. Also, be sure to boost your positive feel good neurotransmitters like oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. Go for a walk, do some yoga, or get a workout in too. The physical exercise will burn off anxious energy, and help you to respond instead of react in stressful moments. Lastly, have an exit strategy. Give yourself permission to make an excuse to leave whenever you need to. Remember, your sobriety and your feelings take priority over someone else's expectations.  And who knows, if you run the experiment, maybe you'll have a completely different experience of the holidays!  If you find this episode helpful, please share it with a friend. So that's it from me today. Please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think! Find Julie on Instagram at @juliebloomworld 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes!   Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE.        Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, I sit down with David Shamszad, author of I Am Someone You Know: The Fight for Recovery and Mental Health, to talk about the hidden pain behind high-functioning addiction, growing up in an alcoholic home, and the courage it takes to heal. David shares his journey through childhood trauma, undiagnosed bipolar disorder, suicidal ideation, and eventual recovery, revealing how vulnerability and self-care became his path to freedom. We explore the power of telling your story, breaking cycles of generational trauma, and how choosing courage—moment by moment—can transform a life. 👉 If you've ever felt "high-functioning but secretly falling apart," this episode will speak directly to your soul. Before we get to it, it's time for "I have a question for you!" where you get to share your thoughts with the thousands of people listening to the podcast, across the world. Last week I asked about self-forgiveness with the question "What do you need to let go of?" What was interesting about the responses, is that they ALL came through DM's! I think there's still a lot of shame about things that are hard to let go of, but here are some of the responses. James sent me a DM on Instagram saying "Things I did before I got sober. There are people I can't make amends to." Tammy messaged me to say "Anger towards my ex! I wish he wasn't so controlling. He always makes everything so hard!" Ezra shared "I have to let go of the idea that I'll ever be able to drink normally." We all struggle with letting go at times, but the old cliche is true. The level of our serenity is in direct proportion to the level of our acceptance. For me, self-forgiveness is a practice that helps me let go of things I can't control. This week's question is about family. Thanksgiving is next week and for a lot of people, it's a stressful time. There's an old saying that family can push your buttons because they're the ones that installed them. So my question for you is "If you're spending Thanksgiving with your family, how will you take care of yourself if you feel triggered?"  Share your thoughts on instagram and follow my account arlinaallen or odaatpodcast So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think!   👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

When Ashley Jo's world fell apart—the death of her young son, the collapse of her marriage, and the depths of addiction—she turned her pain into purpose. In this raw and emotional conversation, Ashley shares how she survived unimaginable grief, overcame suicidal thoughts, and found healing through sobriety, grace, and faith. We talk about: The devastating diagnosis and loss of her son What it's really like to grieve and feel relief at the same time How shame and secrecy fuel addiction Why her affair was actually an "exit affair" The spiral that led to her rock bottom moment—and how she came back stronger Finding peace with God, grace, and herself This is an episode about the power of truth, forgiveness, and redemption. If you've ever carried shame or struggled to believe in second chances, this one's for you. 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

At sixteen, Sean typed "how to end my life" into Google. What he found that night set him on a path of healing, spirituality, and eventually — the creation of Rosebud, an AI-powered journaling app that helps people process pain and grow. In this raw and honest conversation, Sean and Arlina explore depression, men's mental health, and how AI can actually become a compassionate mirror for self-awareness. If you've ever felt hopeless or alone, this episode will remind you: your pain can become your purpose. Download The Rosebud App Here: https://www.rosebud.app/ 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Today I am joined by my dear friend Michelle Ferriss, a licensed marriage family therapist. She's been on the podcast two other times because she's awesome! Her area of expertise is on dealing with codependency, how to escape narcissistic relationships and overcoming anger issues.  In this episode, we're going to talk about toxic friendships, how to know if you're in one, ways to improve them, and steps to take to escape them. This is such an important topic because as we grow, evolve and change, so do the relationships we have. And with people feeling more disconnected and lonelier than ever, we need to know how to make new friends too. Before we jump in, last week I started a new segment called "I have a question for you!" and the question was "how do you feel about the word Alcoholic?" On Instagram, one person wrote: "It took a while to be able to openly call myself an alcoholic. I attached very negative and generalized connotations to it until I identified it. Now, I embrace it because it was crucial to me getting sober." Another wrote: I think it keeps people that are sober curious from stepping fully into their sobriety because they think they have to call themselves an Alcoholic . In our society it has a negative connotation. They do not picture the soccer mom at the park with wine in her yeti cup who is still suffering. So, whatever you need to call it . The most important thing is that you don't have to label it at all. You can make a decision based on the results you're getting from drinking alcohol." Thank you all who wrote in! I think the big take away here is that it's all perspective based on the information you have or don't have. In the end, take what you like, and leave the rest. This week's question it tied to the topic of this episode, which is: "Can you still be friends with your old drinking or using friends after you're sober?" Let me know what you think on instagram @arlinaallen     So without further delay, please enjoy this episode, and let me know what you think! Guest Contact Info:  👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

My guest today is Dr. Hector — a psychiatrist who specializes in helping people heal from addiction, PTSD, anxiety, and depression through a trauma-informed approach. He blends neuroscience, medication, and therapy with nutrition and lifestyle tools to support whole-person healing.    What I love about his work is that it's not just clinical — it's deeply compassionate. He helps people understand how their brain and body work together so they can build resilience, recover from addiction, and truly heal from the inside out.   He shares why most people relapse not because of willpower, but because trauma remains unresolved. From the role of GABA in calming the nervous system to how EMDR helps reprocess trauma, this episode is packed with practical tools and compassionate wisdom for anyone on the healing path.   Before we jump in, I have a new segment, called "A question for you!" Today I want to know how you feel about the word "Alcoholic".    I was interviewed on another podcast today and the host told me he thought it was a shame label. If you know me even a little bit, you'll know that the way I define it - it's a badge of honor, but also, it doesn't matter to me what you call yourself, as long as you get the support you need to heal and break free from addiction. So what do you think? Leave your comment under this episode at odaatchat.com Or leave a comment on my Instagram: @arlinaallen Next week I'll share some of your responses! Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And with that, please enjoy this episode with Dr Hector. Guest Contact Info: doctorhector.com 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

🎉 400 Episodes! In this special milestone conversation, I sit down with my friend for a warm, nostalgic, and inspiring reflection on the journey so far — and a vision for the future. In this episode, we celebrate the incredible guests who shaped the conversation around sobriety, share behind-the-scenes stories you've never heard, reflect on the evolution of the recovery movement, and highlight YOUR listener stories that made a difference. Whether you've been here since episode 1 or you're just joining, this is a beautiful moment to pause, reflect, and look forward to what's next. 👉 In this episode we cover: 🎧 Top guests & unforgettable lessons 😂 Funny and touching behind-the-scenes stories 🌍 How sobriety conversations have evolved over time 💌 Listener stories that changed everything 🧠 What I'd tell my past self when starting this journey 🚀 Dreams and vision for the next 100 episodes 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.     Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast  

Have you ever felt like asking for help is just not an option—especially when it comes to quitting drinking? In this episode, we break down the real subconscious reasons why high-achievers struggle to reach out, how childhood conditioning shapes this pattern, and why asking for help is actually the key to lasting sobriety. You'll learn: Why relying on "figuring it out" alone keeps you stuck How subconscious beliefs fuel resistance The emotional cost of fierce independence A powerful mindset shift inspired by Albert Einstein How to ask for help safely and effectively This is your reminder: You are not a burden. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. 🎧 Listen now to start shifting this powerful pattern. 👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life? Here are 3 ways to get started: 🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com ☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick https://www.makesobrietystick.com Subscribe So You Don't Miss New Episodes! Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@theonedayatatimepodcast?sub_confirmation=1       Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast