Don't Let The Old Man In

Is your career success costing you your peace of mind? If you’ve ever felt trapped by the corporate grind or wondered if you're going through a midlife crisis, this conversation is the wake-up call you need.In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with Matthew Lumsden, a former high-level executive at Vanguard who did the unthinkable: he walked away from the status and salary to save his sanity. Matthew opens up about the reality of corporate burnout, the toll it takes on men’s mental health, and how the COVID pandemic forced him to re-evaluate what wealth actually means.In this episode, we cover: Why a high salary, a big title, and corporate success can mask a deep, silent burnoutThe COVID "Fork in the Road": How the pandemic forced a choice between returning to a "normal" that wasn't working or blowing up the blueprint to start over.The reality of who you become when you hand back the title that defined you for 20 years.Why leaving a job feels like a death in the familyFinancial Freedom vs. Life Freedom: Practical insights on how to financially plan an "escape".Japanese Wisdom for Midlife Men: Shibui (Elegant Simplicity)Manzoku (Deep Satisfaction): Why chasing "happiness" is a young man's game, and why "satisfaction" is the superior goal for men in their 40s and 50s. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cancer. The word alone makes many of us shudder. We all know someone who has battled it, perhaps lost to it. Yet here's the paradox that should give us hope: whilst cancer rates are rising as we live longer, mortality rates are falling dramatically.Dr Andy Tay is a Presidential Young Professor at the National University of Singapore, running a laboratory that literally turns our immune cells into warriors against cancer and infectious diseases. In this compelling conversation recorded in Singapore, Andy takes us on a journey from the fundamentals of cancer to the frontiers of treatment.In this episode, we cover:What cancer actually isWhy cancer rates are rising but mortality rates are fallingHow immunotherapy transforms your own immune cells into cancer-fighting machinesThe surprising connection between stress and cancer growth through the nervous systemWhy 70% of cancer risk is lifestyle-associatedHow artificial intelligence is accelerating drug development and personalising treatmentWhy "balance" is the ultimate health strategy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is it possible to slow down time? In this interview with longevity specialist Prof. Andrea Maier, we break down the critical difference between healthspan vs lifespan and reveal why your biological age matters far more than the number of candles on your birthday cake. If you are interested in reverse aging and preventative healthcare, this is the data you need.In this episode, we discuss:The critical distinction between lifespan and healthspan — and why one matters far moreWhat the 12 hallmarks of aging reveal about why our bodies change decade by decadeHow digital biomarkers and precision medicine transform longevity into personalised actionThe key ages of 40 and 60Why the absence of disease is more important than the presence of longevity genesWhat Silicon Valley is getting wrong about longevietyWhat 100 year old’s really thinkWhy biological age versus chronological age matters for men in midlifeThe role of longevity clinics in democratising preventative healthcareCutting through supplement hype: what science actually supports and what doesn't Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when the life you've built comes crumbling down to reveal an empty core?Aldo Grech lived what most would call the dream. Senior IT executive, trophy partner, Lake Como lifestyle. At 50, when his wife left and his career imploded, Aldo discovered something terrifying: there was no authentic self to fall back on. Just a wounded child and an exhausted avatar who'd been performing for 40 years.Now approaching 70, Aldo has transformed from vacant achiever to authentic contributor. His journey through love addiction, corporate burnout, cancer, financial ruin and intensive therapy offers a brutally honest roadmap for men willing to do the hardest work of their lives. In this conversation, we dig into:Why workaholism, love addiction, and achievement obsession are celebrated rather than treatedThe difference between being successful and being wholeHow physical symptoms signal spiritual dysfunctionHow childhood wounds create protective personasWhy "boys don't cry" creates vacant menThe paradox of surrender vs. giving upTen years alone: building electric cars and authentic friendshipsThe mother conversation that changes everything Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For many of us in midlife, there comes a moment when the identity we've built starts to feel insufficient. We wake up asking: "Now what? What's next? Is this it?"Bill Ang and Richard Bleasdale aren't just theorising about life's next transition, they're living it. Both are part of the inaugural cohort of the Distinguished Singapore Fellowship at the National University of Singapore, the first programme of its kind in Asia focused specifically on thriving in midlife and beyond.They're not waiting for permission or the perfect plan. They're showing up, learning, building, and trying new things—exactly what many of us struggle to do when facing uncertainty about what comes next.In this conversation, we explore:Why storytelling matters more than ever: Bill's framework for why the person who tells the best story almost always wins—and what that means for the rest of our livesThe Four Freedoms: Bill's musical metaphor for composing a meaningful life: financial freedom (the baseline), physical freedom (the rhythm), social freedom (the melody), and purpose freedom (the lyrics)The freedom we neglect most: Why relationships and community are often sacrificed when building careers—and why we can't afford to wait any longerLife has no shortcuts: Why the modern obsession with life hacks and AI shortcuts is causing us to skip the struggle, the learning, and the actual livingThe power of intergenerational collaboration: How breaking down walls between generations can transform workplaces and communitiesThe Distinguished Singapore Fellowship: What it's like to be part of Asia's first programme focused on the third transition of life, including their transformative week at Smiling Gecko in Cambodia Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What’s still possible in the second half of life? And who gets to decide the limits, is it your body, your age, or the stories you tell yourself?In this episode of Don’t Let the Old Man In, we sit down with Ross Youngman, a man who quietly dismantles many of the assumptions we hold about aging, ambition and reinvention. At an age when many people are thinking about slowing down, Ross chose to lean in and challenge himself physically, intellectually and purposefully.In this episode, we explore:Why marathon swimming is 75% psychological and only 25% physicalHow social connection, not willpower, sustains long-term fitnessThe power of starting small and building confidence through graduated challengesWhat swimming taught Ross about focus, endurance and staying in the water when it gets uncomfortableHis transition from a high-pressure global finance career into purpose-driven philanthropyWhy he returned to university in midlife to study coaching psychologyHow optimism can be a conscious, disciplined practice — not blind positivityWhat it really means to “not let the old man in”Along the way, Ross shares hard-earned insights about parenting, timing, patience and resisting the internal voices that quietly talk us out of possibility. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Divorce advice for men from a family lawyer who truly understands the male perspective. In this episode, family lawyer Gillian Coote explains why men rush divorce settlements, how to handle divorce grief, and the #1 mistake that can cost you your kids, your house, and your future.If you’re a man facing separation or divorce, this conversation will help you slow down, protect yourself, and make smarter decisions. Jill combines decades of 66 family law experience with her own divorce story to give honest, practical 58 divorce advice for men in midlife.What you’ll learn in this episode:• Why so many men just want to “get it over with” • The grieving process of divorce• How jumping straight into a new relationship can backfire legally and emotionally• Why “50/50” isn’t always fair – and what you’re actually entitled to financially• How to protect your kids emotionally during separation and avoid parental alienation• The one rule Gillian has for every dad • Rebuilding your identity when your role as husband and father suddenly changes• Practical steps to stay calm, think clearly, and avoid decisions you’ll regret Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This isn't your typical podcast episode. Instead of one conversation, Pod O’Sullivan brings you 13 pivotal moments from the most powerful interviews of 2025. These are the insights that stopped him in his tracks, the conversations that made him think, "everyone needs to hear this."What we discuss in this episodeDr Gordon Spence on health span vs lifespanThe cruel gap between how long we're living and how well we're livingWhy physical decline doesn't fall off a cliff until 70 (if you've been doing the work)How negative age stereotypes undermine our actual physical capacityTraining for your last decade starts now, not at 65Dr Merran Cooper on having conversations about deathHow a 21-year-old woman faced her husband's terminal diagnosisThe chaplain who gave permission to prepare for death while maintaining hopeWhy every single older person is thinking about death and waiting for someone to talk about itThe power of advanced care planning for your loved onesBen Larke on shame and vulnerabilityUnderstanding the difference between shame and guiltHow shame keeps us stuck and prevents growthWhy vulnerability is the pathway through shamePractical tools for recognising and addressing shame in our livesErin Buttermore on imposter phenomenonWhy high achievers often feel like fraudsThe difference between imposter syndrome and imposter phenomenonHow imposter feelings can actually signal growth opportunitiesReframing self-doubt as evidence you're stretching yourselfVirginia Cha on Singapore's Distinguished Fellow ProgramHow Singapore leverages experience from their aging workforceRedefining contribution in the second half of lifeThe value of wisdom and experience in a youth-obsessed cultureAlternative models for aging and workThe distinction between existing and truly livingBuilding resilience through intentional choicesCreating a life of vitality beyond your working yearsSmall daily practices that compound into transformationStuart O'Neill on personal reinventionWhy men struggle to talk about mental healthThe importance of connection and communityBreaking through isolation in midlifePractical steps for building meaningful relationshipsNavigating major life transitions in your 40s and 50sThe courage to start againRedefining success on your own termsFinding freedom in uncertaintyDr Angela Kwong on preventative health for men over 40Why your metabolism changes and what to do about itThe essential health checks every man should get (but most don't)Waist circumference matters more than your weightTesting fasting insulin levels before diabetes developsMichael Bungay Stanier on relationshipsThe secret to a good marriage: both thinking they got the better dealMaintaining connection through life's transitionsWhy relationships require intentional effortCreating mutual value and appreciation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the voice in your head that says "you're not good enough" isn't actually true? What if the secret behaviours you've carried for decades aren't defining you, but rather haunting you? Clinical psychologist Ben Larke helps men untangle the difference between guilt about what we've done and shame about who we are.In this raw and remarkably accessible conversation, we explore:The critical distinction between shame and guilt—and why one is far more dangerousHow childhood experiences code our default responses decades laterWhy men at midlife suddenly find themselves caught up by unresolved painThe relationship between shame, addiction and compulsive behaviourBen's own midlife reinvention from UN humanitarian work to clinical psychologyWhy sharing secrets with another human being is often the first step toward freedomThe powerful metaphor of "parts" in the driver's seat—and how to recognise which part is steering your lifeWhat your 75-year-old self might want to tell you right nowThis isn't therapy—it's permission to be human. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this conversation, we sit down with Erin Buttermore, a strategy consultant, executive coach and PhD candidate researching the imposter phenomenon at the University of Sydney. Erin brings a refreshingly practical approach to what's often called "imposter syndrome", but she's quick to correct that term. It's not a syndrome at all, she explains. Key insights include:Why "imposter phenomenon" is a better term than "imposter syndrome" and what that shift in language reveals about the real problemHow men at midlife experience self-doubt differently from women, often withdrawing rather than doubling down on perfectionismThe toxic role of meritocratic culture in reinforcing feelings of fraudulenceWhy successful people attribute wins to luck and losses to personal failureThe surprising link between stereotype threat and imposter feelingsPractical techniques for managing automatic negative thoughts in real timeHow organisations, not just individuals, need to address impostorism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr Jon Glass knows about identity transitions intimately. Starting his working life with a PhD in pure mathematics from Cambridge University, he's made several major career transitions himself. Now, as a retirement coach, he's on a mission to change the paradigm of what retirement actually means.In this wide-ranging discussion, Jon and Pod dig into the practical and emotional realities ofretirement:The bridge metaphor: How to think about what you'll miss as you cross from work to retirement, and what you want to carry with you.Identity reconstruction: Moving beyond "I am a..." to discovering who you want to become.The six Fs of retirement: Including the "wet leaf syndrome" and other dynamics that catch people by surprise.Friendship in later life: Why men struggle to maintain friendships after work, and practical strategies like the TCS approach (text weekly, call monthly, see quarterly).Meaning versus busyness: How to create a portfolio of activities that brings genuine purpose, not just a full calendar.The honeymoon period: Why it will end, and how to prepare for what comes after.Energy management: A hidden consideration that's often overlooked in retirement planning. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Merran Cooper isn't your typical doctor-turned-entrepreneur. She started medical school at 50 and then founded Touchstone Life Care to solve a problem she witnessed daily: people dying badly because no one knew what they wanted.In this conversation, we explore:The power of ambivalence – How preparing for dying and hoping for the best aren't opposites, but can coexist 100% at the same timeWhat happened when a chaplain used the "D word"; – The conversation that changed everything for Merran and her dying husbandWhy "be a soul, not a role" matters – Especially at someone's bedsideThe sandwich generation challenge – Practical ways to start conversations with aging parents who don't want to talk about deathHow to have "the conversation"; – Using falls, not death, as your starting pointWhy advanced care planning is a love letter – Not a legal documentThe RSL Club test – How one man defined his minimum quality of life in terms his family could actually understandReinventing yourself after 50 – What it's like to become a medical student when your daughter is also in first year uni Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we exploreSingapore's blue zone engineering: How deliberate policy and social cohesion created one of the world's healthiest, longest-living populationsThe thriver philosophy: Why Virginia rejects the word "seniors" and what it means to truly thrive in your third actBuilding the Distinguished Fellow Program: The entrepreneurial journey of creating Asia's first fellowship for accomplished professionals in their 60s and beyondThe magic of bringing people together: How 21 fellows aged 47 to 82 found deep friendship and renewed purpose through learningBuddhist principles in design: The hidden philosophy behind the program's "random" curriculumThe male energy shift: Virginia's surprising observation about how men transform when given new purposeVirginia shares candidly about everything from stalking professors to get them to teach, to the unexpected joy of being 65 ("Nobody thinks that's going on anymore"). Her LinkedIn bio starts with "I am old";—not as resignation, but as a badge of honour earned through experience.This isn't a conversation about winding down. It's about what becomes possible when we stop measuring success by conventional business metrics and start asking: how can I be helpful? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Healthy ageing doesn’t begin at 70; it starts right now. In this inspiring episode of Don’t Let The Old Man In, Dr Gordon Spence shares how midlife can become the launchpad for a stronger, healthier, more connected future.At 48, Gordon realised he’d drifted into the common midlife slump: carrying extra weight, catching colds, sleeping poorly, and exercising rarely. One cruise-ship treadmill session sparked a complete re-engagement with movement. That decision led to marathons, postgraduate study, and eventually a mission: to help others live active, meaningful lives across their lifespan, not just extend it.What we explore in this episode:The critical difference between lifespan and healthspan – and how to narrow the gapWhy training for your last decade is the smartest investment you can make nowHow negative age stereotypes quietly limit physical and mental potentialGordon’s four-stage Health Activation Model: Reflect · Project · Inspect · ConnectThe importance of community, connection and accountability in staying activeReal stories of reinvention – from marathon runners to dragon-boaters and a 60-year-old who fell in love with fencing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Stuart O'Neill stood at the edge of ending his life, one thought stopped him. That moment became Just One Reason, a 10-minute book that has since reached over 50,000 people across 20 countries and been adopted by Lifeline, health professionals, and emergency services worldwide.In this episode, we explore:The making of “Just One Reason” — how a moment of despair led to a global message of hope.Mental health myths — why depression and suicidal thoughts are not always long-term or predictable.The psychology of survival — how asking the right question can stop a fatal impulse.The role of family and intergenerational trauma — including the extraordinary story of Stuart’s mother, whose honesty helped heal their bond.Bringing help to rural Australia — from flying books into drought-stricken communities to sitting at kitchen tables with families in crisis.The ‘mental health pub’ experiment — how Stuart turned the Deepwater Hotel into a community hub for connection, kindness, and conversation.Why men need new spaces to talk — and how a long table, a good meal, and a listening ear can sometimes save a life.The importance of failure and purpose — and why Stuart sees his own mental health as a source of energy, not weakness.The wisdom of the storm — his advice that no matter how bad it feels, “every storm passes — you just have to wait it out.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we explore:What GLP-1 medications are and how they workWhy our metabolism slows with age—and what we can do about itThe concept of the body weight set point and why diets often failHow “food noise” hijacks our attention, and what life feels like when it’s goneThe emotional roots of our relationship with foodThe overlap between food cravings, addiction, and moodWhy perimenopausal women are often misdiagnosed or misunderstoodThe science—and self-awareness—behind sustainable weight managementHow Angela’s journey from rural GP to online entrepreneur reflects courage, purpose, and reinventionDr. Kwong also shares her vision for a “midlife MOT”—an annual health check that includes waist circumference, fasting insulin, and mental health screening. Her practical wisdom reframes aging as an opportunity to optimize our “health span,” not just our lifespan. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we discuss:the idea of curiosity driving experimentation and learningthe notion of ‘identity diversification’how to begin new projects or joining new associationswhat men can do to stop giving advice (in a world where AI can give better advice every time) and get better at listening to the core needs of the other personWhat he does to stay happily married to Marcella after 30 years, especially, given he travels the world for long periods of a timehow as an entrepreneur he handed over the reins of his business to a CEO and stepped awayhow selling millions of copies of “The Coaching Habit”, changed his lifethe power of journalling in midlifehow he stays creativebeing in the sandwich generation, i.e. taking care of elderly parents and why his brothers and he are hoping they, together, will eventually be as good as one competent daughterwhy training now for the last decade will prevent a world of painIn a landscape too often dominated by platitudes, generic thinking and, as Billy Connoly once said, the colour beige, Michael’s willingness to vulnerably and often hilariously share his own struggles and his relentless drive to create positive change make him a uniquely valuable voice.68f7e4bb2e18ecdf37761468431fba77b61c6626 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Don't Let the Old Man In, we tackled the tough topic of marriage ending. Gillian Coote, one of Australia's most respected family law attorneys, offers invaluable divorce advice for men, helping them understand the challenges and navigate the path forward. She shares her personal divorce story, describing it as a devastating process, emphasizing how it can feel like having one's future and power taken away, leaving a broken heart in its wake. This special reflections episode includes Pod's thoughts on his conversation with Gillian, as well ways to incorporate her teachings into your own life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is walking away from a high-status career brave, or is it reckless? People talk a lot about success, but they rarely talk about the cost of success on the health of our relationships and ourselves. In this follow-up from our interview with Matthew Lumsden, host Pod O'Sullivan breaks down the biggest insights from their conversation and what they actually mean for men in midlife. He also provides an experiment for our audience to test at home; a powerful tool to take Matthew's advice into their day-to-day lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know 70% of cancer risk is linked to lifestyle, not just genetics? In this reflection episode, host Pod O'Sullivan breaks down his biggest takeaways from his conversation with Dr. Andy Tay on cancer prevention, immunotherapy, and the science of healthy aging.We often think of health and longevity as things out of our control, but the data suggests otherwise. Pod shares the critical insights he gained from Andy Tay's experience, from the potential of immunotherapy to the daily habits that actually move the needle. If you're a man in midlife that is shifting focus to staying healthy, this video covers the practical know-how to do so. IN THIS VIDEO:- The 70/30 Rule: Why lifestyle choices matter more than your DNA.- Immunotherapy Explained: The promising future of cancer treatment.- Stress & Health: How managing stress is a physical necessity, not just a mental one.- Actionable Longevity: Simple changes to your diet and routine for long-term well-being. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.