Grief Out Loud

When Emily Bolcik's boyfriend, Dan, died suddenly in 2021, her world split into before and after. In the before, she and Dan were on the precipice of exciting life adventures. In the after, Emily found herself navigating the shock of his death, the trauma of finding his body, and a world that seemed to expect her to move forward before she could even begin to understand what had happened. Emily is the author of I Found My Boyfriend's Dead Body on the Floor and Then Tried to Be Polite and Never Bring It Up Again. In this conversation, she talks about the messy, complex, and often unexpected realities of grief: feeling embarrassed by the depth of her pain, finding connection with people who have experienced similar losses, and learning how to be present with someone else's grief without trying to fix it. She also reflects on how creativity, humor, spirituality, and her volunteer work at Dougy Center with children who are grieving continue to shape her life. We Discuss: The shock of sudden loss and the experience of finding Dan's body Connecting with people who have experienced a similar loss Why it can be hard to talk openly about the circumstances of a death The complicated feelings of shame and embarrassment that can accompany grief What it means to support someone who is grieving, even when you don't know what to say How writing, creativity, humor, and spirituality have helped Emily navigate life after loss Emily's experience volunteering at Dougy Center and supporting children who are grieving The importance of continuing to look for the people, resources, and spaces that feel supportive Emily's book is available through the link in her Instagram bio (@emilybolcik).

When Nina's mom, Shawn, was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, everything changed - and rapidly. Nina, who was in her mid-twenties, stepped into a caregiver role, learning to navigate medical appointments, medications, and the realities of her mom's declining health while also trying to deepen their connection. In this conversation, Nina reflects on how facing the reality of her mom's death brought them closer, allowing some of the barriers in their mother-daughter relationship to come down. As Shawn's ability to speak diminished, Nina discovered that connection doesn't always require words. They shared time, music, and even moments of laughter. Nina also talks about the unpredictable nature of grief, the unexpected moments that bring her mom to mind, and the signs that help her feel connected, from a perfectly timed collection of soup photos to bald eagles appearing in unexpected places. A year and a half after losing her mom, Nina has learned that grief doesn't simply vanish - but neither does joy. To learn more about Dougy Center's peer grief support groups for young adults, visit www.dougy.org

From an early age, Ami Baio was curious about death and grief. As a game designer and the creator of Pink Tiger Games, she eventually turned that curiosity into Proof of Life, a conversational game about death, grief, and talking about what matters most to the people in our lives.  In a professional and personal overlap, as Ami was finishing the game, her father was dying of cancer. Ami's relationship with her dad had changed dramatically over the course of her life. After her parents divorced when she was five, she and her father became separated from each other, and their relationship was complicated for many years. In 2010, Ami reached out to apologize for the distance she had created between them and to acknowledge the effort and love her father had put into their relationship. Years later, her father offered an apology of his own. When he became ill, Ami and her siblings found themselves navigating the uncertainty of his cancer diagnosis while her dad remained determined to live. Conversations about death were difficult, but Proof of Life eventually gave the family another way to talk, laugh, remember, and connect. Ami also shares what it was like to be with her dad when he died, the playlist he created for his own funeral, the waves of grief that followed, and the unexpected ways music, memories, humor, and even dancing have helped her stay connected to him. In this episode, we talk about: Two powerful apologies between Ami and her father Making Proof of Life while her dad was dying Using a game to open conversations that were otherwise difficult to have Being with her dad in the final days and at the moment of his death The playlist her dad created and the role music played in his final days The waves of grief that followed his death Finding room for joy, silliness, and fun in the midst of grief Staying curious about the people we love — even when we've known them our whole lives Ami Baio is the creator of Pink Tiger Games, which makes conversational games designed to bring people together through curiosity, connection, humor, and reflection. Follow on IG - https://www.instagram.com/pinktigergames/?hl=en

In this episode, we talk with Kelly and Miguel Cervantes about their daughter Adelaide, who lived with epilepsy and complex medical needs. Kelly and Miguel share what it was like to parent a child who couldn't speak or move but who still made her preferences known – including smacking her brother when she was done playing and loving anything by Frank Sinatra. They talk about the very different roles they occupied during Adelaide's life: Kelly as a full-time caregiver who became fluent in her daughter's medical world, and Miguel, who moved in and out of that world while performing eight shows a week as Alexander Hamilton in Chicago.  We also talk about grief that followed when Adelaide died in 2019, just before her 4th birthday. Kelly describes the secondary loss of her identity as a caregiver and Miguel talks about what it meant to step onto a stage each night and, at times, find his own grief story overlapping with Hamilton's. Both parents reflect on how differently they grieve — Kelly's grief as something that pours out in what she calls "werewolfing," and Miguel's as private and internal — and how learning to recognize and support those differences became a turning point in their marriage. They close by talking about their son Jackson, and what they've learned about supporting a child who grieves on his own terms.  We discuss: Adelaide — her personality, her humor, her love of Sinatra  The different roles of parent and caregiver  Miguel's experience moving between the hospital and the Hamilton stage  "Werewolfing" — Kelly and Miguel's very different ways of grieving, and how they learned to support each other in those  Secondary losses: grieving an identity, a routine, a sense of purpose, alongside grieving Adelaide Finding meaning through advocacy, writing, and music in Adelaide's honor  Parenting their son Jackson through his own grief, and learning he needed support that didn't come from them  About Kelly and Miguel Cervantes:  Kelly Cervantes is a writer and advocate whose books include Normal Broken and The Luckiest. She serves on the boards of CURE Epilepsy and the Undiagnosed Diseases Network Foundation. Miguel Cervantes is an actor and singer known for originating the title role in the Chicago production of Hamilton.   Kelly and Miguel will be joining Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon, on October 27th, 2026, for our Focus on Hope luncheon. Visit dougy.org/hope for details.

Sometimes grief and how it shows up is obvious. Other times we might not recognize our experience as grief until something shifts our perspective. This was true for Juniper Wong, MSW, LICSW, a therapist who specializes in supporting those who are grieving through self-compassion, mindfulness, somatic experiencing, and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Juniper shares how caring for her father during the final weeks of his life changed her understanding of grief, sparking a recognition of how much of her own life had been shaped by the loss and grief passed down her family line. Becoming a mother led Juniper to see connections between her own fears and those of the women in her family line, fears that were rooted in loss. She describes using meditation, movement, writing, and even imagined conversations with ancestors as ways of making sense of what she was carrying. All of these personal experiences with grief inform the work Juniper does to help others name and work with their grief - including Happy Hour for Sad People, a monthly gathering through Grounded Grief in Portland, Oregon, where laughter, dark humor, tears, and connection can coexist. We Discuss: Recognizing how grief often underlies other challenges like anxiety and depression How caring for a dying parent can transform a relationship The grief that can surface when someone no longer has the energy to keep it buried Ancestral grief and the losses we may carry without knowing their origins Ambiguous loss and "the loss that doesn't get a funeral" How pregnancy and motherhood opened up a new understanding of family grief Rituals for staying connected to people who have died Making room for laughter and dark humor alongside grief Creating less traditional spaces for people to gather around loss Follow Juniper on IG - https://www.instagram.com/iamjuniperwong Substack - https://substack.com/@juniperwong Grounded Grief - https://www.groundedgrief.com/