IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Rebuilding Trust With Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins) When IVF failed and fertility treatments ended without a baby, you did not just lose a dream. You often lost trust in your body. After years of hormones, medical procedures, weight changes, and emotional whiplash, it can feel almost impossible to want to care for yourself again. Movement can feel loaded. Exercise can feel like punishment. And sometimes the quiet thought underneath it all is: Why should I take care of you? In Episode 200, you are getting a grounded, practical conversation about rebuilding your relationship with your body after infertility. You will hear from Holly Perkins, a women's fitness expert with 30 years of experience helping women build strength through science-backed, sustainable approaches designed for women in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. This is not about chasing a smaller number on the scale. This is about strength, muscle, metabolism, bone health, and feeling better in your body after everything it has been through. If caring for your body has felt complicated since IVF failed, this episode is for you. What You Will Learn Why it makes sense that self-care feels hard after fertility treatments end. How emotional healing and physical strength support each other. Why "just lose weight" is not the right goal after hormone disruption. What happens to muscle and metabolism in your 40s and 50s. Why muscle is more important than the scale for long-term health. How strength training supports bone density and aging well. What a realistic starting point looks like when you have felt disconnected from your body. A Message You Might Need to Hear You are not broken because it feels hard to care for your body right now. When IVF failed, your body can start to feel like the enemy. This conversation helps you shift from punishment to partnership so you can rebuild trust in a way that feels steady and sustainable. Join Holly's Free 3-Day Workshop: Muscle for Life If you are ready for practical guidance on building strength in a way that fits your life, Holly is offering a free 3-day workshop called Muscle for Life. It starts March 5, 2026! Inside the workshop, you will learn: Why BMI and body weight are outdated metrics. How to think about muscle-to-fat ratio instead of just the scale. The strength training principles that matter most for women over 30. How to support bone density and long-term health. Nutrition strategies that support blood sugar, energy, and metabolism. You can register for FREE here: 👉 https://www.hollyperkins.com/lana This is the direct link to save your seat. About Holly Perkins Holly Perkins, BS, CSCS, CISSN is an established expert and thought leader in women's health. For 30 years, she has guided thousands of women through physical performance, nutrition, and mindset management. She is the author of Lift to Get Lean, and her upcoming book Muscle & Bone will be released in early 2026. Additional Resources Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss what is coming next. You can rebuild trust with your body after infertility when IVF failed. And you can do it without turning your life into another thing to perfect. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week!

When you're childless after IVF failed, life can look steady on the outside. You go to work. You answer emails. You show up to events. You keep functioning. But inside, something feels different. You might find yourself thinking, "I don't know how to enjoy being me anymore." When fertility treatments end without a baby, people assume the hardest part is over. The injections stop. The appointments end. The constant waiting slows down. But when you're childless after IVF failed, this is often when the identity questions begin. Who am I now? What does my future look like? How do I build a meaningful life when motherhood didn't happen? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, we talk about: Why life can feel directionless after IVF failed What disenfranchised grief really means when you never had a positive pregnancy test Why comparison feels louder when you are childless after infertility How grief quietly takes up space in everyday moments Why performing strength keeps you disconnected from yourself Small, practical ways to rebuild trust and enjoyment When you're childless after IVF failed, your grief is valid. Even if there was never a pregnancy. Even if there was never a baby to hold. Even if no one around you recognizes it as a loss. Enjoying being you again does not mean you are leaving the dream of motherhood behind. It means you are learning how to live alongside what you lost. You are allowed to feel steadiness. You are allowed to feel relief. You are allowed to build something meaningful in this life. Join Me in Chicago: The Other's Day® Brunch If you're ready to connect with other women who are also childless after infertility, The Other's Day® Brunch was created for you. Happening May 8–9 in Chicago, this two-day experience is designed specifically for women without children. It's about connection, meaning, and walking into a room where no one asks how many kids you have. Learn more here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday Free Guide: What to Say When You're Childless If you are tired of awkward comments and unsolicited advice about becoming a mom, download your free copy of: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: 👉 https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay When you're childless after IVF failed, your story is not over. You are still becoming. You are still building. And you are still allowed to enjoy being you.

When IVF ends without a baby, life does not always fall apart. Sometimes it goes quiet. You may still be showing up to work, keeping plans, and getting through your days, yet something feels off. You are functioning, but not fully connected to your life. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you are introduced to the concept of a grief plateau and why it is so common for women who are childless not by choice after infertility and IVF failed. A grief plateau explains why life can feel paused after fertility treatments end. Not dramatic grief. Not constant sadness. But a flat, stuck feeling that is hard to name and even harder to explain to others. This episode helps you understand what may be happening beneath the surface and why it makes sense, given everything you have been through. In this episode, you will learn: What a grief plateau is and how it shows up after IVF failed. Why many women feel "off" after infertility even when life looks fine on the outside. How years of fertility treatments affect your body, brain, and sense of safety. Why staying busy, feeling numb, or avoiding big dreams can be a form of protection. How losing the dream of motherhood can leave your future feeling unclear. Why understanding where you are matters before trying to move forward. This episode is for you if: You left fertility treatments without a baby and feel disconnected from yourself. Life feels stuck or paused after IVF failed. You are tired of being told to move on or look on the bright side. You want language that makes sense of life after infertility. This is not an episode about fixing yourself or rushing into a new version of life. It is about naming an experience many women have but rarely hear explained. Resource mentioned in this episode: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond A free guide to help you navigate uncomfortable comments and advice after infertility. Get the free guide here. If life feels quiet after IVF failed and you do not know why, this episode will help you understand what you may be standing in right now.

Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means If you don't have kids, you've probably noticed the words childfree and childless everywhere. They show up on social media, in podcasts, in articles, in movies, and in conversations about women's lives after infertility. And even if no one has ever asked you directly how you identify, you've likely felt something when you hear those terms used. Maybe you pause. Maybe you feel tension. Maybe you think, I don't know how I feel about that. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you slow that moment down and look at what's really happening underneath the words. This conversation is not about choosing the "right" label. It is about understanding the meaning you are giving to the terms childfree and childless, and deciding whether that meaning actually supports the woman you are becoming after infertility or IVF did not result in a child. You explore why identity feels so tender after fertility treatments end, why language can feel so loaded, and how a single word can start to feel like it is being asked to explain your grief, your growth, your peace, and your future all at once. In this episode, you will hear: Why the term childfree can feel empowering for some women and completely misaligned for others. Why the word childless can feel truthful while still carrying old stories of disappointment or being perceived as less than. How some women reclaim their lives without kids by changing the word they use. How other women reclaim their lives without kids by keeping the same word and changing what it means to them. Why you are not reacting to the word itself, but to the meaning you believe the word gives you. How you get to decide how much power any label has over you. You will also hear Lana share why she personally identifies as childless, and how that word honors the truth of wanting motherhood while still reflecting a full, meaningful life without children. Most importantly, this episode reminds you that whether you identify as childfree or childless, you have permission to feel proud of the woman you are. Proud of how you kept going. Proud of how you learned to hold complexity. Proud of the life you are building, even if it looks different than you once imagined. You are not your terminology. You are not unfinished. You are not behind. You are not less than. You are whole. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode The Other's Day® Brunch A beautiful, connective event for women without children, happening May 9, with a special Friday night experience added this year. Check for updates or join the waitlist here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday Free Resource: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond If you have ever found yourself navigating unsolicited advice, intrusive questions, or "helpful" suggestions about becoming a mom, this guide is for you. Download it for free here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay If this episode resonated with you, make sure you are subscribed to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss future conversations about navigating life after infertility and building a meaningful, grounded future without the children you dreamed of. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it is never too late to discover your meaning.  

What Happens When the Future You Planned Doesn't Happen When fertility treatments end without a baby, you don't just grieve the child you hoped for. You grieve the future you were building your life around. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, you explore post-traumatic growth after infertility and why it matters for women who are childless not by choice. Not in a toxic-positivity way. Not as a lesson you were supposed to learn. But as a way to understand what happens after years of trying, waiting, and living in a fertility holding pattern. If you've ever thought, I'm not the same person I was before IVF, this episode helps you understand why—and what becomes possible next. In this episode, you'll hear: Why infertility and fertility treatments do count as trauma, even if no one ever named it that way How years of IVF, IUI, medical procedures, and waiting shaped your nervous system and identity Why the end of fertility treatments feels so disorienting, not just sad What post-traumatic growth actually means and what it does not mean The seismic "rebuild" moment that happens when the life you planned no longer exists The five areas where post-traumatic growth often shows up after infertility Why growth is optional, not required, and only happens when you feel safe enough How to move forward without erasing your dream of motherhood or minimizing what you endured What it looks like to find a starting point again after the fertility holding pattern ends Why post-traumatic growth matters after infertility You didn't go through infertility to grow. You didn't suffer for a reason. And you don't need to reframe your loss to justify moving forward. Post-traumatic growth simply explains what happens when your assumptions about the future break and you're left asking, So now what? This episode helps you see that wanting forward movement does not mean you're forgetting what mattered. It means you're ready to stop living in permanent disappointment and start building a life that feels connected, grounded, and meaningful—on your terms. Thrive After Infertility This episode reflects the core work you do inside Thrive After Infertility, the coaching program created for women who have completed fertility treatments and are ready to stop feeling incomplete because fertility treatments failed. Inside Thrive, you learn how to: Move out of the fertility holding pattern Reconnect with your body and nervous system Navigate relationships in a world full of parents Create meaning and direction for the decades ahead Growth doesn't come from time passing. It comes from learning how to intentionally rebuild after loss. Free resource mentioned in this episode If you've ever been told, "You can always adopt," or "Everything happens for a reason," and didn't know how to respond, download the free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) 👉 Get the free guide here: lana-manikowski.com/thingspeoplesay

If you're childless after infertility and growing older feels unsettling, this episode invites you to move from fear to intention and imagine a future that feels grounded and meaningful. Childlessness after infertility and growing older can bring up fears you never expected to carry. When motherhood didn't happen, aging is often framed as something to brace for rather than something you get to shape. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you're invited to move from fear to intention as you explore what it means to grow older without children, reconnect with your body after IVF failed, and begin imagining a future that feels meaningful, grounded, and entirely your own. This episode was inspired by a simple question I overheard while out to dinner: Has getting old been like you expected it would be? For women who are childless after infertility, that question can land deeply. Not because aging itself is the problem, but because the future no longer comes with a default storyline. Together, we talk honestly about the physical fears of aging, the existential questions that surface when IVF fails, and how reaction mode can quietly shrink your sense of possibility. Most importantly, you'll be invited to consider what it might look like to participate in your future, rather than brace for it. This conversation isn't about having all the answers. It's about giving yourself permission to imagine again. In this episode, you'll explore: Why growing older without children is often framed through fear The physical aging fears many women carry after infertility and why they make sense How fertility treatments can leave you feeling disconnected from your body What existential fear really means when motherhood didn't happen The difference between bracing for the future and imagining it Why reaction mode helped you survive infertility but doesn't have to be permanent How childless women often have more agency than they realize when it comes to aging Questions to help you begin envisioning a future that feels intentional and grounded If growing older feels scary right now If thinking about aging without children brings up tightness, fear, or a sense of "I don't even know where to begin," you're not doing anything wrong. You've already had to let go of a future you worked hard for. It makes sense that imagining what comes next feels complicated. That's exactly why I offer Thrive Calls. 🌿 Book a free 45-minute Thrive Call A Thrive Call is a free, 45-minute conversation where we slow everything down and talk honestly about what you want your life to feel like now and as you get older. You don't need a full plan. You don't need clarity before you book. You just need a place to start imagining instead of bracing. 👉 Book your Thrive Call here! 📘 Free resource for navigating difficult conversations If you're also navigating intrusive or exhausting conversations about motherhood, infertility, or "what's next," I created a free guide many women find grounding. The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) This guide helps you respond without overexplaining, spiraling, or losing your cool. 👉 Get the free guide here: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay Final reflection Aging without kids doesn't automatically mean loneliness or decline. It means you get to be intentional in ways most people never have to consider. You get to decide what matters. You get to decide where your energy goes. You get to decide who you're becoming. Not someday. Now. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week.

When IVF Failed and Time Didn't Fix It: Healing the Loss of Motherhood You were told time would heal this. That if you just waited long enough, the pain of leaving IVF without a baby would soften. That eventually the anger, loneliness, and grief around the dream of motherhood would fade on their own. But if you're childless after infertility, you already know the truth. The calendar didn't fix it. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you explore why time alone doesn't heal the loss of motherhood when IVF failed and why that doesn't mean something is wrong with you. You'll hear why these feelings resurface again and again during emotionally charged moments like Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, and year-end milestones and why waiting quietly can start to cost you more than you realize. This episode is for you if you're childless not by choice, navigating life after IVF failed, and wondering why time hasn't brought the peace everyone promised. In this episode, you'll explore: Why time doesn't heal the loss of motherhood after IVF failed Why infertility grief is cyclical, not seasonal How holidays, birthdays, and Mother's Day can reopen the wound Why "just moving on" can disconnect you from yourself What actually helps you heal and move forward after infertility Ready to stop waiting and start feeling better now? ✨ Glow Up Sessions If you want focused, one-on-one support around one specific issue like navigating the holidays, preparing for family gatherings, handling intrusive comments, or getting grounded before the new year, a Glow Up session is a powerful place to start. 👉 Book a Glow Up session NOW! ow is the perfect time to think about how you want to enter the new year and how you want to feel in your life moving forward. ✨ Book a Thrive Call HERE! A one-on-one conversation to map out what healing and meaning can look like for you after IVF failed. ✨ Free Resource: What to Say When People Don't Get It Download Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond HERE, so you're not caught off guard by intrusive or unhelpful comments.

When you are childless after infertility, the holiday season can feel like a spotlight you never asked for. Everyone has an opinion about your fertility decisions. Everyone has a suggestion about what you should have done. And somehow every gathering becomes an open invitation for people to ask about baby news, adoption, donor eggs, or why you stopped trying. In this week's episode, you learn how to stay grounded, confident, and steady when holiday opinions collide with the decisions you made after IVF Failed. You discover how to trust your intuition again and how to walk into December without feeling like you owe anyone an explanation. This episode is for you if • you are childless after infertility • you ended fertility treatments and people still question why • you feel pressure during family gatherings • you struggle with unsolicited advice about adoption, donor eggs, donor sperm, surrogacy, or "trying again" • you want to feel connected to the holidays without feeling triggered • you want to walk into gatherings feeling prepared instead of anxious Inside the episode, you will learn • why holiday comments land so hard for women who are childless not by choice • how lifelong conditioning leads you to second guess your decisions • why your inner knowing is wiser than outside opinions • what to tell yourself when someone questions your fertility choices • how to feel empowered about the decisions you made when your fertility journey ended without a baby • how to walk into December feeling solid and sure of yourself If you are already bracing for the questions and opinions, I have two things that will support you through this season. Glow Up Sessions: Personalized Holiday Support These private sessions help you • practice what you want to say • stay grounded during conversations • feel confident about your decisions • handle family dynamics with clarity and calm These are one on one coaching sessions at a discounted rate for December. Book your Glow Up Session here! Register NOW! Free Masterclass on December 16 Handling the Holidays: Managing Your Family, Traditions, and Celebrations Without Kids Tuesday, December 16 11:30 AM Central In this class you learn how to • handle family gatherings when you are childless after infertility • navigate traditions that feel painful because you do not have kids to pass them onto • stay centered when everything around you feels kid focused • make space for your own joy this holiday season Register for the free class: https://meet.google.com/occ-gnzy-sdt (If you want a registration page link instead of a direct meet link, tell me and I will swap it.) Mentioned in this Episode Download the Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless and How to Respond https://lana-manikowski.com/thingspeoplesay Connect With Me Website https://www.lanamanikowski.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lana.manikowski TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@lana.manikowski YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@lana.manikowski If you loved this episode Please subscribe, rate, and review the podcast. It helps other women who are childless after infertility discover this space and find the support they never received from their clinic once treatment ended.

Episode 192: How Childless Women Can Navigate the Holidays Ahead The holiday season can feel emotionally heavy when you're childless after infertility. In this episode, Lana explains why Thanksgiving and Christmas can stir up overwhelm, anxiety, numbness, and confusion when you always imagined this season with a child of your own. You'll learn how your brain and nervous system respond during this time of year, why nothing about your reaction means you're doing anything wrong, and how to feel more grounded and supported as the holidays approach. The holidays can feel complicated when you're childless after infertility. That knot in your stomach during Thanksgiving or Christmas is not your imagination. Whether you are done with fertility treatments, still navigating IVF or IUI, or childless by circumstance, this season can shine a spotlight on the life you thought you would be living by now. In this episode, you learn why the holidays often stir up so much emotion and why nothing about your experience means you're doing anything wrong. You'll understand how your brain and nervous system interpret this season, why old neural pathways get activated, and why your reactions are very normal for women who are childless after infertility or childless not by choice. Inside the episode, you'll learn: • How neural pathways built during your fertility journey impact your holidays • Why unpredictability around the holidays activates your nervous system • Why numbness is normal when the season feels emotionally loaded • Why family gatherings can trigger isolation even when you're loved • How to stop blaming yourself for how you feel this time of year • How to stay grounded when traditions center around children • Why you don't have to sit out of Christmas just because you don't have kids If you want real tools and support to help you feel more prepared and confident this year, join my free live class on Tuesday, December 16 at 11:30 AM Central: How to Deal with Your Family, Create Traditions, and Manage Celebrations Without Kids Register here! You deserve to feel grounded, steady, and in control of the rooms you walk into this season. And if you want help responding to the comments people make when they don't understand your experience, download my free guide HERE! The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond.

How to Feel Like You Belong Again When You Are Childless After Infertility If you have ever walked into a room and instantly wondered where you fit, this episode is going to speak directly to you. When you are childless after infertility or you are still in the middle of your fertility journey, it can feel like everyone around you is living a chapter you hoped would be yours. Conversations about kids, family schedules and milestones can leave you feeling two inches outside the circle and unsure how to take your place in the room. In this episode, you learn why this happens and how to reconnect with yourself so you can walk into any space with confidence and grounding. You will understand why your nervous system reacts before your mind catches up, why belonging feels harder when your story looks different, and how the lack of support after IVF failed can shape the way you show up socially. You will also hear how public conversations about infertility, including the reaction to Jennifer Aniston's story, influence the way you protect yourself in group settings. This episode teaches you how to honor your own experience and how to show up without shrinking or pretending. You will learn four ways to lead with connection so you can feel steady and comfortable in rooms that once felt overwhelming. You will walk away knowing how to stay anchored in who you are becoming and how to trust your own voice so you can feel a sense of belonging again, even when the conversations around you do not reflect your life. If you are ready to feel grounded in social spaces again and to rebuild a future beyond infertility that actually feels meaningful, this episode will support you every step of the way. Resources mentioned in this episode Thrive After Infertility - My 12 week coaching program for women who are childless after infertility and IVF Book a Thrive Call - Ready to spend the best 45 minutes you've spent this year? Book a free Thrive Call woith me.  We will get a plan together for what is next for you now that IVF is over.  Download your free guide The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and How to Respond) Connect with me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lana.manikowski TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lana.manikowski YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lana.manikowski I hope this episode helps you feel more grounded and more seen as you walk into the rooms that matter to you.

Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly questioned whether you belonged there? That is exactly what happened to me t at the annual meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) in San Antonio. I was surrounded by fertility doctors, clinic directors, psychologists, and researchers, all experts in reproductive medicine. And for a moment, that familiar voice whispered, Who do you think you are? In this episode, I am taking you behind the scenes of what it felt like to show up as a woman who is childless after infertility in a space that rarely represents us. You will hear how I faced imposter syndrome, found my voice, and ended up speaking on stage about the one topic that almost no one else was addressing: what happens when IVF fails and you leave fertility treatment without a baby. You will learn: Why imposter syndrome often shows up after infertility or IVF fails How to recognize the lies your brain tells you when you start something new The powerful shift that helped me turn self doubt into purpose What happened when fertility doctors lined up to thank me for speaking out How you can use the same coaching tools I did to quiet the voice that says you are not enough If you have ever thought, no one will care what I have to say or I am not qualified to lead this conversation, this episode is your reminder that your story matters. You do not have to be a doctor to create change. You only need to be brave enough to show up. Mentioned in this episode Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless And How to Respond Join our community: Childless After Infertility on Skool Learn more about my coaching program: Thrive After Infertility Whether you are sitting in a clinic waiting room or walking into a professional space wondering if you belong, this episode will remind you that your voice is needed. You are not a failed fertility patient. You are a woman who lived through what most people cannot imagine and still found the courage to keep showing up.

Episode 189 | Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything What if you could stop living in regret after infertility and start creating a life that feels amazing to wake up to? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares the realization that changed everything: the moment she stopped identifying as a victim of infertility and began shaping a new story for her life after IVF failed. If you have ever wondered whether it is possible to feel fulfilled without motherhood, this episode will show you how. You will learn how to shift your mindset from loss to ownership, reconnect with your body, and rediscover your power to create joy and meaning again, even in a world that revolves around parenthood. 💬 Join My Skool Community: Childless After Infertility If you are ready to move beyond grief and step into growth, come join Childless After Infertility, Lana's new online community for women who are ready to grow beyond the pain of infertility.  If you join now it is free! Skool is a private online platform where you can connect, learn, and grow together without the noise, ads, or distractions of social media. It combines the best parts of a classroom and a community so everything we discuss stays focused and meaningful. This is not a support group. It is a growth group for women who want to create what comes next. 👉 Join Childless After Infertility on Skool Explore Coaching that Works: Thrive After Infertility If you are ready for personal support, Thrive After Infertility is Lana's 12-week coaching program that helps you rebuild trust with your body, strengthen your relationships, and create meaningful milestones beyond motherhood.   📘 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Tired of awkward questions and unsolicited advice? Get your free guide to navigate those conversations with confidence and authenticity.   Download it here   🩵 In This Episode, You'll Learn How to stop identifying as a victim of infertility. Why letting go of regret is essential for healing beyond childlessness. The mindset shift that helps you thrive after IVF fails. How to find connection and purpose without motherhood. What makes the Childless After Infertility community different from a support group or Facebook group. 🎧 Listen and Subscribe If you have found the content of this podcast to be helpful, please subscribe to the show and leave a review to help more women find hope and community after infertility.  Learn how to leave a podcast rating and review HERE!

When IVF Fails: How to Ask Your Fertility Clinic for the Support You Still Need When IVF fails, it can feel like your clinic disappears but you still deserve care. In this episode, learn how to ask for what you need from your fertility doctor even after fertility treatment ends. Discover how to advocate for yourself, share resources, and help your clinic better support women who are childless after infertility. If your fertility treatment ended without the baby you dreamed of, you are not alone and you are not forgotten. In this episode of The So Now What Podcast, host Lana Manikowski shares how to ask for what you need from your fertility clinic or doctor even after IVF fails. Whether you are still in treatment, deciding what is next, or already navigating life without children, you will learn how to take action, reclaim your voice, and inspire change inside the fertility industry. You will discover how to ✅ Ask for acknowledgment and emotional support from your clinic even months or years later ✅ Write a compassionate message to your IVF nurse, patient coordinator, or doctor ✅ Share what helped you heal so your feedback can support future patients ✅ Turn pain into purpose and become part of the change in fertility care for women who are childless after infertility When fertility treatment ends without a baby, silence from your clinic can feel like abandonment. But that silence does not mean you were unimportant. It means the system is incomplete. And systems change when you speak up. Lana offers a simple message template you can use to reach out to your clinic and invites you to take one small, brave step toward creating the care you and other women deserve. Your story still matters. You are not invisible. You are part of the change that can make fertility care more human, compassionate, and complete. Mentioned in this episode Listen to Episode 187 IVF Failed A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Happens Next Free Guide The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond Book a Thrive Call to create your plan for thriving after infertility  

IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Comes Next When IVF fails, both patients and doctors are left asking, "What now?" In this conversation, infertility and life coach Lana Manikowski and fertility doctor Erica Bove, MD, explore what patients wish doctors understood after failed IVF, what doctors feel but rarely say, and how to create support and meaning after infertility. When IVF failed, you were not just handed a result. You were handed decisions with very little support. If you have ever left a fertility clinic wondering whether your fertility doctor truly saw your pain or what to do next, this episode will help you feel seen while considering the language to ask for the support you need. In this conversation, I am joined by Erica Bove, MD, a double board certified OB GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist at the University of Vermont. She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. Dr. Bove has experienced both sides of treatment as a fertility doctor and as a fertility patient. Together, we explore what women wish their doctors understood after a failed IVF cycle, what doctors wish their patients knew, and how to create continuity of care when treatment ends without a baby. In this episode, you will learn: How both patients and doctors grieve when IVF does not work and why compassion on both sides matters. The post fertility treatment support you told me you needed most such as exit appointments, follow-up calls, therapy or coaching referrals, peer connection, and resources for life without children. Why many fertility doctors are not trained to deliver difficult news and how clinics can improve communication. How Dr. Bove coaches physicians through their own fertility journeys to help them practice with more empathy and confidence. Ways to redefine meaning and success after infertility so you can create a fulfilling life even if you are childless after infertility. This episode is for you if: You have finished fertility treatment without a baby and are unsure what comes next. You want to feel acknowledged and supported by your fertility doctor and your clinic. You are ready for community and guidance for life after infertility. You are a fertility professional who wants to better understand the patient experience after failed IVF. About Dr. Erica Bove Erica Bove, MD, is a double board-certified OB-GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI) at the University of Vermont. She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. Dr. Bove combines an evidence-based approach with intuitive knowing in the context of a trusting relationship. She empowers professional women to build their families with confidence, self-compassion, and community. Her mission is to heal and support the healers and to create a legacy she is proud of. Website: loveandsciencefertility.com. Podcast: loveandsciencefertility.com/podcast. LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/erica-bove-0701a0173. Instagram: instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility. Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183. Resources mentioned Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. A space for both patients and doctors to find connection and support. Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond). Thrive Call: Book your session to create a plan for what comes next. Key timestamps 00:00 Why this conversation matters when IVF fails. 06:30 What patients wish their fertility doctors knew. 18:40 How clinics can improve post treatment communication. 28:10 What doctors feel when IVF does not work. 36:15 How to find meaning and fulfillment after infertility. You are not behind and you are not alone. Even without children, you can create a life you love and you deserve real support after treatment ends. Listen now to IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Comes Next.

When you're going through fertility treatments, you never imagine they will end without a baby. I didn't. I believed that if I tried hard enough, followed every step, and stayed committed, eventually I would have the child I dreamed of. But when IVF failed and motherhood didn't happen, I was completely unprepared and unsupported. That gap, the silence that follows when treatments end without children, is why I became a member of ASRM, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, and serve in their Mental Health Providers group.  In October I am attending the ASRM annual congress with thousands of reproductive Endocrinologists, fertility doctors, IVF nurses, and fertility specialists from around the world. My mission is to make sure the voices of women who are childless after infertility are part of the conversation. For an upcoming podcast episode I will be interviewing a fertility doctor who not only treats patients but has gone through IVF herself. This is your opportunity to shape that conversation. ✨ What do you wish you had received when you left treatments without a baby? ✨ Were you offered support, and if yes what was most helpful? ✨ If you weren't, what do you think would have made the biggest difference? ✨ And what is one question you would love me to ask a fertility doctor about life after treatment? 👉 Share your input here: Fill out the form Your name will never be used on the podcast, but if you'd like me to thank you personally you'll have the option to share your name and email at the end. Your experience matters. What you went through is real, and if I can help bridge your story with the professionals shaping fertility care, we can change the way life after infertility is understood and supported. 🔗 Related Episodes: Ep 147: Support After IVF - What Childless Women Really Want (click here to listen)  Ep 146: Finding Closure After IVF (click here to listen)  💜 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) → Click HERE!

Why does infertility feel so shameful? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski unpacks the weight of shame after IVF fails and motherhood does not happen. She explains why shame shows up for women who are childless not by choice, why it is optional, and how you can release it. Learn four steps to stop carrying shame so you can feel grounded, confident, and whole in the life you are creating. If you are childless after infertility, you may know the weight of shame all too well. Shame convinces you that you are the problem. That your body failed. That you let your husband or partner down. That you disappointed your parents by not giving them grandchildren. That your family name ends with you. Shame after infertility is common, but here is the truth most women do not realize: shame is optional. In this episode, I share why infertility feels so shameful, how shame sneaks into your identity, and why you do not have to carry it as part of who you are. I tell my own story of IVF failing me and the moment I believed I had let everyone down. I also share the four steps that helped me rewrite that story and start living without shame. You will learn: Why shame shows up after infertility and IVF fails The difference between facts and the shame stories your brain creates How to talk back to shame so it no longer runs your life How to choose your own headline and live into your values What shifts when you stop letting infertility define your worth When you release shame, you stop shrinking in family gatherings. You stop questioning your marriage. You begin to walk through the world with confidence and live as the whole, worthy woman you already are. If you are tired of carrying shame for something you never chose, this episode is for you. Read Chapter 1 of my bestselling book, "So Now What?" HERE. 📺 Watch the replay of the World Childless Week webinar I moderated: https://youtu.be/PZz_-H9A47U?feature=shared 💌 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and How to Respond) Click here to download!   Tags infertility shame IVF failed childless after infertility shame after infertility why infertility feels shameful childless not by choice IVF shame infertility and identity healing after failed IVF infertility grief and shame childless woman support IVF did not work life after infertility stop infertility shame infertility podcast living childless after IVF overcoming shame after infertility infertility and womanhood IVF journey without baby thrive after infertility  

How to tell your story with pride when IVF failed and you are living childless after infertility.  When IVF fails and motherhood did not happen, it is so easy to feel like your only option is to hide. You spent years doing everything you possibly could—fertility treatments, doctors' appointments, lifestyle changes, endless waiting. You gave your body, your money, your heart, and your time to the dream of becoming a mom. And despite all of it, you find yourself living childless after infertility. In those moments, it can feel impossible to talk about what really happened. Maybe you have learned to keep quiet because the pain feels too heavy. Maybe you are tired of comments like "You could always adopt" or "At least you can sleep in." Maybe you worry about making others uncomfortable. But here is the truth: hiding from your infertility story will never create the life you crave. In this episode, I share why there is nothing more beautiful than telling your story, even when IVF failed and motherhood didn't happen. I will show you how owning your infertility story changes the way you see yourself and how others see you, and how telling your story can open the door to a future that feels powerful, grounded, and deeply meaningful. In this episode you will learn: Why you can feel proud of your infertility story even if IVF failed How hiding keeps you small and why telling your truth sets you free What life can feel like when the question "Do you have kids" no longer holds power over you How sharing your story helps you reconnect with your body, your friendships, and your future You may not have the children you dreamed of, but you can still live a life that feels rich, purposeful, and joyful. Your story is not one of failure. Your story is one of strength. And there is nothing more beautiful than learning how to tell it. 🌟 Links Mentioned in This Episode Register for my free masterclass (Wednesday 9/17): Things People Say When You Are Childless  - click HERE Join my World Childless Week webinar (Saturday, Sept 20): Register here Download my free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) click HERE.

When IVF fails and you're childless after infertility, people often try to cheer you up with "at least you can…" comments. But what these comments really reveal is how uncomfortable our society is with sadness. In this episode, I share how a recent injury reminded me of that cultural reflex, why sadness is not a flaw, and how you can create room for both grief and growth as a childless woman. Plus: details on my free class September 17 and my World Childless Week panel on September 20, Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman. Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable Have you ever been told "At least you can travel" or "At least you don't have to pay for college" after your IVF failed? If you're childless after infertility, you know how painful and dismissive these "at least you can" comments feel. People think they're comforting, but they rarely land that way. In this week's episode of The So Now What? Podcast, I explore what these comments really mean, why they don't help, and how to stop internalizing the silent message they send — that sadness, disappointment, and grief are emotions you shouldn't feel. You'll hear: Why people reach for "at least" comments and what it reveals about society's discomfort with sadness How my nephew's recent soccer injury reminded me of our instinct to erase someone else's sadness The connection between these comments and what we hear when IVF fails Why sadness is not a flaw but proof that something mattered to you How to hold both infertility grief and the good that still exists in your life Why rediscovering your identity as a childless woman can shift your story from loss to strength This episode also celebrates the 4-year anniversary of The So Now What? Podcast. Four years of creating a community for women who were left without resources after fertility treatments ended without a baby.  Free Resources & Upcoming Events Free Class: Wednesday, Sept 17: Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond Without Spiraling or Shutting Down). Morning/afternoon in the US, evening in Europe.  Register here! World Childless Week: Saturday, Sept 20: I'm leading a panel called Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman at 8 AM CT / 2 PM BST. Join us live or catch the replay. Register here! Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Download it for free. CLICK HERE! ☕ Help me celebrate 4 years of The "So Now What?" Podcast! If this podcast has supported you, would you leave a rating or review? Reviews help more women who are grieving infertility discover this resource. As a thank-you, I'll send you a $5 Starbucks gift card. 👉 Here's how to claim it: Follow the step-by-step directions here to leave your rating or review. Take a screenshot once your review is posted. Email it to me here: hi@lanamanikowski.com When I receive your screenshot, I'll send you a Starbucks gift card as my thank-you for celebrating this milestone with me. Sadness doesn't mean you're broken. Grief after infertility is real, but it doesn't define your whole story. Listen to Episode 183: Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable to learn how to stop internalizing "at least you can" comments and start creating space for both your grief and your growth.